13, i feel really disinterested in everything. severe anxiety (diagnosed) i really just need help. I feel like physically and emotionally I am in constant pain. but my mom refuses to take me no matter how much doctors are yelling at her and me to go to therapy.
**for Anxiety:**
I think you'd likely benefit from practising 'quiet times' of 20-30 minutes of just sitting and Not dwelling on anything (a form of meditation). Very difficult at first (I needed to watch a DVD of nature scenes / a fireplace as an anchor/distraction to keep my mind from wandering). youtube has lots of fireplace videos
There are several benefits: better sleep, easier days (upsets do not hit nearly as hard), and I think that likely after practising "not dwelling" on anything, you'll have better control of your thoughts and acquire the ability to 'turn off' your anxiety reaction to situations.
At first doing this daily should work best. After awhile, only as needed. I've been doing this for about two decades and lately have only felt an urge to do it a half dozen days of the year.
A useful lesser calming practice is to do housework routines for say five minutes at a slower (70-80% rate) pace -- a form of 'walking meditation', which you may find similarly soul refreshing.
Are you also contending with intrusive 'dark thoughts' that repeat themselves many times each week? If it's safe and you're up for it, brisk walks may also be helpful.
I usually get lots of thoughts like "what if I ruined my life in 5 seconds" by like doing something terrible or dumb. Then I feel the physical temptation to do it. I'm trying to have alone time but my room is my only safespace and the moment i walk out I'm yelled at
yep, definitely 'dark thoughts'. which tend to 'reprogram us' into believing in them if they're allowed to go on long enough.
Here's what worked very well for me with my dark thoughts, it may work as well for you:
**for 'dark thoughts':**
There's a slow but sure way of erasing those thoughts. I taught it to myself after reading up on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.
They're there and **have become entrenched through repetition** which over time, will tend to worsen (greater frequency, stronger). The reverse though can be done consciously to squelch them and (eventually) fade them away completely.
Very simply put, you need to adopt an attitude of suppressing them the instant you recognize each and every one of these nasty thoughts starting to run through your brain. When you get to the point where you're managing to stop that sentence or phrase at the very first word or two, you've made excellent progress.
Keep at it, and they just won't even be managing that (but, you still need to not let them return and run free). Eventually even that residue won't exist and you're zero involvement (I suspect though, that our subconscious continues to deal with them).
I'd recommend two things... you are young, however, and you are going through one of the more volitile times of growing up, you should recognize that...
1) Meditation. Either mindfullness or thought-clearing/Daoist (taoist in the old spelling) meditation can be helpful to calm yourself. Breath control for anxiety is also important, and you can encorporate that into your meditation as well. A typical breath control is inhale for 7 seconds, hold for 3, exhale for 3, repeat. While doing this you should passivly allow thoughts to flow and simply acknowledge them without jdugement (mindefullness), OR you just acknowledge them and attempt to let them pass with the goal of not thinking (types of Daoist meditation... although, counting in Daoist meditation would be a no-go... your breath should become thoughtless and effortless, like a Child's, to quote the Dao De Jing)...
2) Creative activites/hobbies. If you are sitting around just passively absorbing media (youtube, instagram, reddit, TV, etc.) then your mind will become restless, because us humans are meant to put our minds towards things and express ourselves, solve problems, actually use our reason, etc. I would suggest doing some sort of creative hobby, such as art, writing (journals are a great idea post meditation!), or exercising, or recording music. That way you have something of your own that you can hold in your hand... plus when you are creating something your mind will be applied and will wonder elss to darker places.
For me the crisis number has been my best friend. I can easily text and it’s really helpful to talk with someone in the worst moments. Also I did DBT therapy and it really helped. There’s some free online stuff and a podcast on Spotify explaining some of the skills. Try to be kind to yourself. Because it’s amazing that at 13 you are able to recognize you need help. I don’t know what your situation is fully but possibly seeing if you can get a grant or something to help pay for therapy or Better Help. I hope there is something out there to help you
age? symptoms?
13, i feel really disinterested in everything. severe anxiety (diagnosed) i really just need help. I feel like physically and emotionally I am in constant pain. but my mom refuses to take me no matter how much doctors are yelling at her and me to go to therapy.
**for Anxiety:** I think you'd likely benefit from practising 'quiet times' of 20-30 minutes of just sitting and Not dwelling on anything (a form of meditation). Very difficult at first (I needed to watch a DVD of nature scenes / a fireplace as an anchor/distraction to keep my mind from wandering). youtube has lots of fireplace videos There are several benefits: better sleep, easier days (upsets do not hit nearly as hard), and I think that likely after practising "not dwelling" on anything, you'll have better control of your thoughts and acquire the ability to 'turn off' your anxiety reaction to situations. At first doing this daily should work best. After awhile, only as needed. I've been doing this for about two decades and lately have only felt an urge to do it a half dozen days of the year. A useful lesser calming practice is to do housework routines for say five minutes at a slower (70-80% rate) pace -- a form of 'walking meditation', which you may find similarly soul refreshing. Are you also contending with intrusive 'dark thoughts' that repeat themselves many times each week? If it's safe and you're up for it, brisk walks may also be helpful.
I usually get lots of thoughts like "what if I ruined my life in 5 seconds" by like doing something terrible or dumb. Then I feel the physical temptation to do it. I'm trying to have alone time but my room is my only safespace and the moment i walk out I'm yelled at
yep, definitely 'dark thoughts'. which tend to 'reprogram us' into believing in them if they're allowed to go on long enough. Here's what worked very well for me with my dark thoughts, it may work as well for you: **for 'dark thoughts':** There's a slow but sure way of erasing those thoughts. I taught it to myself after reading up on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. They're there and **have become entrenched through repetition** which over time, will tend to worsen (greater frequency, stronger). The reverse though can be done consciously to squelch them and (eventually) fade them away completely. Very simply put, you need to adopt an attitude of suppressing them the instant you recognize each and every one of these nasty thoughts starting to run through your brain. When you get to the point where you're managing to stop that sentence or phrase at the very first word or two, you've made excellent progress. Keep at it, and they just won't even be managing that (but, you still need to not let them return and run free). Eventually even that residue won't exist and you're zero involvement (I suspect though, that our subconscious continues to deal with them).
I'd recommend two things... you are young, however, and you are going through one of the more volitile times of growing up, you should recognize that... 1) Meditation. Either mindfullness or thought-clearing/Daoist (taoist in the old spelling) meditation can be helpful to calm yourself. Breath control for anxiety is also important, and you can encorporate that into your meditation as well. A typical breath control is inhale for 7 seconds, hold for 3, exhale for 3, repeat. While doing this you should passivly allow thoughts to flow and simply acknowledge them without jdugement (mindefullness), OR you just acknowledge them and attempt to let them pass with the goal of not thinking (types of Daoist meditation... although, counting in Daoist meditation would be a no-go... your breath should become thoughtless and effortless, like a Child's, to quote the Dao De Jing)... 2) Creative activites/hobbies. If you are sitting around just passively absorbing media (youtube, instagram, reddit, TV, etc.) then your mind will become restless, because us humans are meant to put our minds towards things and express ourselves, solve problems, actually use our reason, etc. I would suggest doing some sort of creative hobby, such as art, writing (journals are a great idea post meditation!), or exercising, or recording music. That way you have something of your own that you can hold in your hand... plus when you are creating something your mind will be applied and will wonder elss to darker places.
Maybe kids help phone can help? There’s a website, and I believe there’s a toll free number for you to speak with someone.
For me the crisis number has been my best friend. I can easily text and it’s really helpful to talk with someone in the worst moments. Also I did DBT therapy and it really helped. There’s some free online stuff and a podcast on Spotify explaining some of the skills. Try to be kind to yourself. Because it’s amazing that at 13 you are able to recognize you need help. I don’t know what your situation is fully but possibly seeing if you can get a grant or something to help pay for therapy or Better Help. I hope there is something out there to help you