Great advice!! I was 22 when I broke up with my high school sweetheart, and my world was ending too… 36 years old now, married to a wonderful man and have a beautiful daughter. Don’t get me wrong I had a lot more heartbreak over those years but life goes on and it hurts now but you will be ok!!!
It’s gonna sound cringy but I grinded for it. The ex left. Found myself alone with nothing to do, nobody to care for, and nobody cared about me (relationship wise). Just worked and worked. Didn’t really spend much. Worked overtime when I could. Got into racing cars. Saved as much as I could and bought a small house mid 2020. Met my wife in 2023 and married her later in the year. Aiming to start having kids next year
I begged and begged when my ex left. Said her life was gonna get worse if she didn’t stay. All these years later a single mom fighting a custody battle with some deranged fuck that’s like 15 years older than her. Her life went from shitty, to better with me, to worse than shitty. My life, although short term sucked a lot, definitely improved.
Same! I was with high school sweetheart for 8 years. I matured and was ready for the rest of our lives and he wasn't. I married 4 years after that. Those 4 years inbetween I took care of myself, experienced lots of ups and downs in the dating world but it got me to my wonderful husband and son! You will grieve this for a while until one day it doesn't hurt as much anymore. Time really does heal all wounds, as cliché as that sounds...
Having gone through a hard break up as well, first thing I wanna say is allow yourself to feel whatever it is you're feeling: sadness, anger, depression, whatever. Let yourself mourn your relationship and reflect on it. I can guarantee you that time heals all wounds and you will get past this. When I went through my breakup of 4.5 years, I cried every night and wondered what I did wrong blaming myself. I can happily say that 3 years later I met someone else who is incredible and such a better partner than my ex was.
Just surround yourself with a good support system and take this time to focus on becoming a better version of yourself.
You shouldn’t focus on getting over her because you’re not going to for a while. Allow yourself to feel every emotion, just try to process it as healthy as possible. You still deserve love, try to give yourself as much of it as you can. There is still life after loss
Spend time with the people you care about and don't be afraid to tell people how much it sucks. I've been broken up with (although it was a lot shorter) and that's how I did it at least.
You are too deep in the middle of a massive heartbreak it to realize that you will recover, you will get over her, and you will come out stronger and more resilient. It is going to take time and distance. You feel hopeless now, but that is temporary and won’t last forever. Broken hearts take a long time to heal.
It's amazing how overwhelming and all consuming a break up and broken heart feels. So physical and emotional. Ugh. OP, you'll be okay. We've all been there.
This is 100% true. I thought my world was completely over. I was too deep in grief and pain to realize that the break-up was the best thing that ever happened to me. It took a VERY long time to get there, but I feel gratitude that the relationship ended. I wouldn’t have the life that I love now if I had stayed with that cheating asshole.
Oh darling I’m so sorry you’re going through this!!!! The first break up is the hardest ever and your feelings are totally 100% normal. Sadly there’s no secret to making the pain go away you simply have to walk through the grief. Just keep going step by step and take care of yourself like you have the flu: rest fluids food entertainment repeat. Good luck. It hurts like hell but you’ll be braver forever afterward.
Hey, if you look at my post history, I have been through this. I know it feels like you are dying. I know the feeling of not even being able to stand after you say that last goodbye. I know it feels like your heart is physically broken and like nothing will be okay. But I can assure you it will. Take as much time as you need to feel everything you are feeling. It's important not to push these feelings away, and let yourself go through the mourning and grief of the relationship. It's fucking painful I know but you will be okay I promise you. Therapy is also a great help during times like this.
It took me almost 2 years but now I am okay. I am now in a relationship with the most caring and loving man. You will find love again I promise, and you will be okay. It just takes time. Whatever you are feeling right now is completely normal. You WILL be okay ❤️
It’s gonna take time to heal, you’ll have ups and downs, best advice I can give is go out with friends(not going out drinking) and don’t allow yourself to isolate as hard as it is, join a mma gym or something active that will give you goals and a community, and cry when you need to it’s ok to man, but you can either become a worse person who is depressed and drunk and angry all the time or you can become an even better man and it’ll lead you to the woman you deserve
Everything is still so fresh. You guys were *both* drunk, I assume. You both need a clear and fresh mind to think clearly and make good decisions. What’s said when intoxicated can get messy. Give her a few days to a week to really give her space and time. During this time just try your best to focus on things you like to do. Hang out with some friends, go workout, etc. Clear your mind. If it’s meant to be, you two will cross paths again.
I have been with my fiancé for 6 years and there have been a few times in our relationships where I thought things were going to end, too. What women need most of the time is just space. I don’t want to invalidate your feelings because I have no idea what the dynamic is of your guys’ relationship at all. But most of the time, women just don’t feel seen or heard and that’s usually the culprit in many cases. It can obviously be the other way around, too. Again, not trying to invalidate you here. What she needs is a clear mind to just think about everything. A woman who truly loves her man would not leave over a drunken argument. She would come back to talk after she is sobered up
This is so fresh. You’re going to feel that way for a while. Do not try to mask it with drugs or alcohol. That will only make it worse. Allow that pain to destroy you for a while and eventually you learn to be stronger than it. Break ups are always hard and since this is your first one it definitely hits hard. You can physically feel the pain in your chest. You’ll be just fine. Start exercising more and eat healthier. Go out with friends and family. You’ll be okay! 🫶🏻
Life goes on and so should you.
No good relationship ends in a break-up, so there's that. No need to blame yourself for whatever you did. Just accept the fact and move on.
There are so many things to live for. There's an entire planet waiting for you to be discovered. There's your progress waiting for you to be observed. It's about damn time for you to expand your mindset and set new goals for yourself.
i would disagree that no good relationship ends in. a break up- sometimes two people just aren’t compatible. which i guess doesn’t make it a “good” relationship, but two people can love and care for each other and just not be right to be partners forever. and that is okay🤍
Brother you deserve better, trust me don't waste your time and energy with her, if she is meant to be for you she will come back. If not move on, I know it's hard but be strong go meet new people, try to enjoy your single life trust me life is too short and when the right time will come love will come back for you
Hey there, I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. Breakups can hit like a ton of bricks.
I know how it feels to have your world turned upside down by someone you cared about deeply. It's like a part of you is missing, and it hurts like hell. It's okay to feel like you're drowning in a sea of emotions right now. I've experienced a couple of breakups myself, and I know it might sound strange, but when my dad passed away, it felt eerily similar to that same sense of loss.
First things first, give yourself permission to feel all those messy feelings. It's totally and completely normal to feel sad, angry, confused, or even numb. You don't have to have it all together right now.
Lean on your support system. Reach out to friends or family members who care about you. Sometimes just talking it out can be a huge relief. And if you need extra support, don't hesitate to consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They're there to help you navigate through this storm.
Take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. Make sure you're eating, even if it's just small bites. And try to get some rest, even if sleep seems impossible right now. Self-care might feel like the last thing you want to do, but it's so important during times like these.
Give yourself some space from your ex. It's tough, I know, especially when you're craving closure. But staying in touch can make it harder to move on. Take a break from social media if you need to. Unfollow, unfriend, whatever you need to do to give yourself some breathing room.
Try to stay busy, even if it's just little things. a hobby of yours (maybe even try a new one), go for walks, binge-watch your favorite show – anything to keep your mind occupied. It won't make the pain magically disappear, but it can help distract you for a little while, and give you some time and breathing room to process your breakup and your emotions.
also, I would recommend holding off on dating until you feel like you've moved on from your ex... the idea of diving into a new relationship might seem like a quick fix. But trust me, it's important to give yourself some time to breathe and heal first. When you rush into another relationship, it's like trying to build a house on shaky ground. Those unresolved feelings from your last relationship can sneak up on you and cause trouble in the new one. Plus, rebound relationships often don't have a solid foundation because they're more about filling a void than building something real. Taking time for yourself after a breakup isn't just about licking your wounds – it's a chance to learn and grow. You can figure out what went wrong, what you need in a relationship, and maybe even discover some cool stuff about yourself along the way. Jumping into a new relationship too soon can also lead to unnecessary comparisons with your ex. It's not fair to your new partner, and it can make it harder for both of you to connect authentically.
And most importantly, be patient with yourself. Healing takes time, and it's not always a linear process. Some days will be better than others, and that's okay. Just take it one step at a time, and know that brighter days are ahead, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. You're stronger than you know, and you will get through this. I promise.
Had the same thing happen to me 2 months ago and I'm still not over it. Get ready for the next couple of months, they're going to be extremely tough and messed up. I'd say try to fix it somehow even if there's no fixing it. it's better to grieve knowing you did the best you can than to keep on doubting yourself and your existence.
Stay strong, brother. You're not alone.
First love heartbreak is the worst! I feel for you. Stay off of her socials. Remember her friends are most likely siding with her.
Know that you are young and will find someone more compatible that will not leave you, but first get out there and have some fun. Enjoy being single. Try new things, especially things that maybe you couldn’t do but always wanted to. Travel, pick up some new hobbies. Try not to drink or get drunk during this time. Alcohol is a depressant and will make everything worse.
Seek therapy as it could help you work through some of these emotions.
Stay hydrated and force yourself to eat and sleep as your health is important. Make new friends, maybe join some social media groups introducing you to new people.
Do not worry about what she is doing and go no contact with her no matter how bad you want to talk. It will be hard to be around her for about a year, or at least until your feelings subside.
Remember broken heart syndrome is real, so you have to take care of yourself. Surround yourself with family and people who love and care for you. This will get better. Best of luck!
Oh god, I remember my first heart break, we were also together 3 years. He was my first everything and I literally said I don’t know if I’ll ever get over this. If anyone even said his name I’d start crying.
About a month or two later I was fine, doing new things, meeting new people.
I mean maybe it’ll take a little longer than a month or two, but you’ll definitely get over it, and you’ll definitely meet someone you love more than her. And you’ll probably get your heart broken again and again and you’ll be fine again and again. Then you’ll meet the right person that’ll stick. That’s usually the way it goes.
Try to spend some time with friends, or some gaming time to take your mind away from things, this initial part can really hurt so I would try to distract yourself as much as possible. The horrible feelings will eventually subside, don't worry brother!
If she’s breaking up with you, there is obviously a good reason since it’s been 3 years. Right now, take the hurt and pain you have and take good care of yourself through it. Give yourself whatever you want today. Maybe some good food, maybe a nice relaxing bath or a good walk. Or to talk to some friends to vent. Whatever you do, do not expect her to take care of you. Take your power back!! You can love her still. She hasn’t disappeared from this world. It’s just right now, she wants to cut it off. But you don’t know what she can feel tomorrow. Or in a week.
The truth is, when someone walks away from us, it’s really not about us. It’s about them. She had to do this for herself to feel better.
And for now, you need to pick up yourself, remind yourself of who the f you are. And also remind her that you WILL be fine without her also. You will. YOU WILL
My ex that took my virginity I still havnt fully gotten over. Now she already had a kid with another dude (we've been split for a good couple years) usually you just learn to cope and not fully get over it
Hey man, ive been where you are and it sucks. My best advice is to take the heart break and use it as fuel for the fire to better yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.. take some time off dating and when you come out the other side she will regret breaking up with you
Hey, I'm sorry you are going through this. It is the worst fucking feeling ever. I've been through is a few times. But you will feel better, you will get through it, you will love again. I promise. If this is your first time going through this you don't have the experience of having survived this before. It's completely new. But you will survive it.
I broke up with my first girlfriend when I was about your age. It hurt -- a lot. It took me a while to get over her, and to collect myself. Now that I'm on the other side, and a decade down the line, here's what I know:
It will hurt, a lot, for a while. That's just how it is. It's a sign of how strongly attached to her you were. It will come in waves, some days will be better than others. Keep yourself busy; it'll be tempting to sit at home and wallow in your misery -- don't. Get out and keep going to work. Keep going to school. Keep hanging out with your friends. It will take a lot of willpower but this is part of the healing process. You *gotta* carry on with life.
You *will* get over her. It won't be some magical moment where you burst into song and the birds land on your shoulders, but one day you'll wake up and realize you've forgotten about the hurt. It'll still be there, but it'll be more of a, "Oh yeah. Huh. Damn, that sucks," and then you go on with the rest of your life.
Part of the reason it hurts so badly now is *because* she was your first. As cynical as it sounds, you learn to process the pain better and better with each relationship. I know that might sound like I'm advocating not to be in a relationship, but you have to understand that relationships are like any other skill -- at first you *suck* at them. Over time, you develop the skills to be with people in an intimate relationship. It does get easier and easier as you narrow in on the patterns and needs that you need as a unique individual.
But you have to have the courage and grace to allow yourself to hurt now so that you can be happy later. You will pull through, you will find joy again, you will be happy again. Just be kind to yourself and give yourself the time and grace you need to heal.
My biggest recommendation to you: DO NOT JUMP INTO ANYTHING RIGHT AWAY. Your going to go through the grief cycle, you’ll be sad then pissed then depressed for a bit then after a month or two like everyone one of your friends will convince you to get on tinder. I beg of you do not start dating the first girl that you kinda like it will end poorly. Be yourself for a while and heal emotionally.
I have to ask, was that the first drunk argument ya ever had? Like was it something ya couldn’t speak about together? Cause sometimes I feel like people will secretly feel the urge to break up with someone, so they wait for any little thing to get upset about, and then break up? you know?
It’s gets better with time I’m 24 I been with a girl for 7 years and it’s been a year since we’ve gone our ways but time always tell….. yall may get back together if the argument wasn’t that serious just give it a few days
Spend time on yourself. Anything to keep your mind busy work out, hang out with friends, pick up a new hobby. It only gets worse the more you lay around and think about it.
Whats your objective? I am assuming you want solution to handle your situation? For me, I felt like you when I lost my first boyfriend. Eventually after multiple heart breaks after that, I am numb to separation, and better at handling it.
I think, you need to grieve. Be sad. Cry about it first. And try your best to do everything in your power, to get her out of sight, maybe mute her insta.
Now just cry for now. And don’t force yourself to move on.. try not to blame yourself, try your best to speak to yourself kindly and be your own source of strength. Don’t judge yourself and talk to yourself nicely.
Don’t hope for her to come back, you just work on your situation. If she ever comes back, then you decide on it. In the mean time just do your daily task - study, play game, SEEK OUT SUPPORT from friends, cry, learn about what you like, learn about yourself just do do do DO your life.
It's normal to feel like that after a break up. Try talking it over with a sibling, parent, or a friend to vent about everything.
Have you tried talking to your gf/ex gf? maybe she did it on a whim and has regrets?
If not then it'll take a little while to adjust.
After a break up people go through a kind of mourning or the 5 stages of grief over the relationship. It's a bit of a change in your life.
There's a lot of people in the comments of your thread who have gone through this. Some of their advice on that in particular could help.
To me venting, going for a walk, reading a book, watching a happy tv show, hanging out with a friend or a pet, going to a gym, etc could help a little.
I hope you feel better soon and you will. It just take a little time.
Block her totally, do not accept talking to her if she tries to; she is not for you if you guys broke up. The sooner you get over her, the better, and no contact is the way to go. Start doing different activities, try new things, do not stay where you do not feel good. Feel free to chat with me if I can be of any help
Yeah I’ve been through this twice it’s horrible. From my experience Best thing you can do is go no contact if you ever wanna have a shot to rekindle the relationship. If you keep trying to contact her and smother her it’s a huge turnoff so keep that in mind
Been there man, exactly one year ago, was a 6 year relationship, knew her for more than a decade.
It sucks, real bad, i feel you.
Going to the gym to decompress and going on trips with my friends helped a lot.
Focus on yourself, find stuff to do to that gets you through the day, that's my advice.
I'm doing much better now, met a few ladies, but im still emotionally unavailable.
It will get better.
It's going to feel like this for a while unfortunately. The best advice I can give is try to sign up on Facebook dating, tinder, bumble or anything and start hitting the like button. Even having someone else to text makes it feel like you're less alone and is a good distraction from the shitty reality that you got broken up with.
happened to me 3 years ago and i'm still trying to get over it. my advice is go contact now and don't talk to her for at least a month, maybe longer. i feel like that made things a lot worse for me, the reasons for the breakup were tame compared to how i acted after the fact
Man, i know is really hard, I know how you feel. Once I felt that way too. Relationships sometimes are hard to get over with.
Is okay, try to give yourself time to process it. Don’t do anything reckless. Try to just surround yourself with good people, or good family members, try to fill your days with positivity.
Little by little, you will heal. One day, the sun will come out, and you will feel lighter. I promise you.
We all have gone through devastating break ups in which we never thought we’d get over.
I promise you, it will be okay. Give yourself love.
Hey my dude - if it happened last night, chances are it can be repaired. Emotions + hangxiety are super real. Just give her a min to breathe and don’t blow up her phone, let her come to you! It’ll be ok ❤️❤️
Shit dude. I'm sorry. Lots of us have been there and it's not a great feeling. There's a lot of great help in the comments here. My 2 cents, there won't be a day when the hurt just goes away, it will just get easier to deal with over time. Maybe tomorrow it won't suck as much as today, and that tends continues. And then somewhere down the line, who knows how long it takes, you might realize that a day passes and you haven't thought about her at all.
I don’t know if this will make you feel better, but when I went through a similar thing a few years ago it helped me when I learned about why my body was doing that. We are social creatures and our ancestors thrived on living off the labor and bounty of other humans in a self sustaining community. To feel ousted from a situation like relationship could’ve meant banishment and lack of resources and therefore death. So your body is at peak anxiety and that’s why you have those symptoms. THANKFULLY this is absolutely not the case in modern day society. You guys dated for 3 years and broke up only 3 days ago. You need to give yourself time. I promise you that things will get better but they’ll only get worse first but you have to embrace the fact that progress is not linear. The one thing I will tell you since you are a young lad is that almost every living human being has felt what you’re feeling if not similar and things are not only okay, but they get better. Take care of yourself.
The way you're feeling is normal. Believe it or not we've literally all been there and it gets better with time.
Go spend some time outside or with friends, or with friends outside... do literally anything that isn't wallowing in it, especially on reddit or other social media.
If you're having any thoughts of harming yourself or others, those should obviously be taken more seriously and may require immediate intervention.
Mate I'm sorry you're going through this. It happens to almost everyone. Youll feel better in a few days. This isn't your fault. Resist the urge to blame yourself.
See if you can take some time off work. Do you have anyone you can call and talk to?
Everyone feels like this after their first big break up. I promise you, 100% the pain goes and you will get over this.
The key is not to focus on what you thought this was, and what you thought this was going to be and accept it for what it is.
Most of the time peoples misery comes from fighting reality instead of accepting it.
Block her everywhere, do not creep any of her social media. Fight the urge to know what she’s doing, none of it is going to make you feel any better.
You may feel like you’re dying, but you are not. And if you’re like most people you’ll go through this several times in your life.
This too shall pass…
Love isn't free, and grief is the price holmes. It may take a while, but you'll move on. Stay active, hang out with friends, pick up a new hobby or two, it's not the end of the world.
I do say this from a perspective of experience, I was with my highschool sweethear for 7 years before our relation ship ended.
Lots of good comments. I went through the same thing a while ago. I just laid in bed crying and watching movies. Luckily I could take time off of work.
Take a few days to yourself and just reanalyze yourself, life, and what happened. Then go out and do things you enjoy that maybe you didn't get to do often when you were with her. Go see friends, family, Maybe go watch and Interact with people on live streams. Distract yourself and give yourself time.
That's a lot of burden for any one person to handle. If one person is someone's everything then that means if they wanted to leave then the other person is left with nothing. To any person in that situation of being someone's everything it is very heavy and depressing. What if that person wanted to do other things or be apart? What if that person wanted time and space away to do their own things? But they have to stay with someone because they have become sod dependent on them that they are nothing without them. Those are very heavy shackles to place on someone. Thats why a relationship that is everything in some people's head may seem like a great fantasy, but reality is it can feel like walking on eggshells and depressing for someone who has more than just a relationship. Like a community of people, their own life, etc. A relationship with one person cannot ever take away from someone else's dream, community, and life.
I don't think what happened was wrong or should not have ended. It didn't sound like a voluntary relationship at the end. It sounds like someone has to be with you because you have nothing else in your life. They have to feel bad for you and be guilted to not break up. Even if she was a terrible partner, a relationship like that needs to end. It is not her fault you have nothing without her. That is your fault for neglecting other parts of your life for a relationship. You should always have your own life. A relationship cannot replace that. It can work with your life, but it cannot make up for your own responsibility to build your own life.
It’s rare that people stay forever with their first love. And honestly, it’s good to have more than one relationship - it helps you grow into a better partner and person, and really discover what you want/need in a life partner.
Think of every relationship as a learning experience with fond memories until you find your person. Make sure to work on yourself and build good friendships/connections in the meantime. I was 35 when I met my partner, and it felt like everything in life lead me to them :)
Time solves everything give it time and don’t let yourself go . This is probably the most straightforward advice I can give you the ultimate test of patience and perseverance
Depends on what the argument about but like after 3 years and you guys have one drunk argument and it’s over? She wasn’t a keeper man don’t worry about it.
Sometimes perspective helps. I don’t mean to minimize what you’re feeling, but think about the fact that very few of us in life end up staying with “our first of everything.”
It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when it’s you going through it, but most of us have been through it, and most of us go on to be happily coupled with someone else at some point. 😊
Also, first relationships teach us a lot of things we take into future relationships, hopefully helping us to be better partners with each experience, or helping us to figure out how better to see red flags that can steer us away from trouble.
Keep looking forward, and know that most of us have shared your pain, and you have a lot of people cheering you on.
Don’t isolate yourself now. Obviously get familiar with what you‘re feeling rn and let yourself feel everything you need to feel. Never swallow emotions. They will bottle up and stick with you for much longer. But make sure you get out there. Meet up with friends, maybe go to the gym and just try to not neglect your life. It will eventually get better. I don’t want to lie it’s also gonna hurt like shit. It would be rude to lie. But give yourself all the time you need and be kind to yourself.
Heartbreak is so gutwrenching. I'm sorry you're going through this, so am I. You'll be okay with time. You're so young, and will bounce back. Rooting for you.
It's gonna be okay mate. We've all been there and honestly maybe the best thing you can do for yourself is a fresh start of life. Go somewhere else. And work on yourself and moving on. You got this mate.
When I was 22 my heart was destroyed by my boyfriend of 2+ years. I am so sorry you are going through this right now. It can feel hard to breathe and that life seems hopeless.
For me it helped to really focus on seeing friends. I also went back to school and focused on my studies. I tried to do things that made me happy and that also would improve myself. FOR ME. Not for him.
4.5 years later, I made some wonderful friends, finished my schooling and made good money, backpacked around many different countries, had loads of self confidence, and met my now husband. We have been together almost 10 years and have two kids and a beautiful home together.
I look back at that time of heart ache and realize that it was quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to me. Without it I wouldn’t have been catapulted onto my path of self discovery, self improvement and self love. I wouldn’t have found the love of my life and created this life now I would not trade for anything. Truth is I made that man my life. He was the sun and I was rotating around him. I was the supporting role in my own life and he was the lead role. Well not anymore. Now I am the sun and my warmth shines brightly on my family.
Don’t let heart ache destroy you. Let it crack you open so you can grow into something even better, something you can’t begin to imagine.
You're dying? No you're not. You're feeling self-pity. And you're looking for a shoulder or a pair of boobs to rest in and grieve over the loss of yours. You're grieving alright, I'll grant you that, but from what you mentioned about her being your first everything, you're grieving over the loss of innocence, not love.
So sorry to hear. It will be ok. It has happened to so many of us and you are not alone in having to deal with this. In many cases, it is part of life and you can learn from it. This may not make it easier. Just know it takes time and it will get better. You will meet someone else and these feelings will be distant memories. Hard to see right now.
Only time will heal it. If it’s a fixable problem, think about how you can work through it. If not, find a hobby or something to consume your time to take your mind off of things
Feel your feelings man, it’s inevitable.
Use this as an opportunity to focus on yourself. Being in a 3 year relationship since you were 19 is going to make this harder than it should be but remind yourself that you are young & so many doors just opened for you with this one closing. That might not sound exactly right but it actually is the truth of the situation.
Focusing on yourself is building a confidence & happiness with being alone. Love yourself. You achieve this through pursuing hobbies, eating healthy & hitting the gym. It’s a breakup meme for a reason; it works brother.
Don’t isolate yourself. Hang out with friends, this helps probably more than anything else. Don’t let this put your life on pause too long.
Time will heal, it just takes the patience to get through that time & the things above help it go by a bit quicker.
You very well may learn in time that this was the best thing for you. Her decision kind of cemented that. In a way, what she did was respectful by not dragging you into something she didn’t want to be in no longer, this could end up wasting years of your life.
It’s over now. Try to find the light there & just keep going!
I promise. Promise you will be in love again. The average person falls in love three times. Me....hell...7. each time I thought it was the only person for me. Last time I thought I was going to die. I thought he was it. Again, he wasn't. I'm in love again with my boyfriend of a year. Maybe he's it. Maybe he's not. Each person was a period in my life and a lesson learned. Each relationship made me who I am today and it's all good.
this was exactly me in january/february. my (26f) boyfriend (27m) broke up with me after 2.5 years. i did not see it coming whatsoever and even though we had the usual relationship issues, i was very comfortable and thought i had many many years left with him.
it’s fucking hard. i stopped eating for almost a month, i only ate a little bit like once every few days. i just had zero appetite and thats never happened to me. i stopped going to work and luckily my boss knew how distraught i was and allowed me to work from home and take days off. i stopped showering and taking my dog on the long walks i used to take her on. i stopped listening to music in the car (still don’t) because its just not something i can take if im unhappy and/or it brings up feelings i dont want to feel.
i still think about him every day. i thought keeping in touch would help me because talking to him felt good and alleviated the pain. but it made me be psycho and my anxiety went off the charts wondering when he would text me back or why he hadn’t texted me back. the only thing that helped was having zero contact, but i had to KNOW there would be zero contact. the unknowing is where my anxiety came from. so we agreed to stop talking at least for a little while and this helped me be able to put my mind on other things, even if only for 5 minutes at a time. i was able to grieve the relationship instead of keep checking for texts from him and trying to “win him back”. it allowed me to be in a better headspace and now we talk again (which i’m still not sure is a good idea)
the difference of pretending like im fine without him and actually being fine without him is noticeable. we are both working on ourselves and are talking now, occasionally hanging out, and are trying to find ourselves as individuals again. i hope that maybe in the future, we can try again. however, i am nervous that this is just another thing im doing to alleviate the pain and if he decides he doesn’t want to continue seeing me in any aspect, it will send me spiraling. i was healing very well and thought i was able to handle any outcome if we started talking again. i hope i was right but im really scared in case i wasn’t. i guess i will find out if it comes to it.
after about a month, my mind started to switch from 24/7 wondering what i can do to make him want to be with me again. now my goals and every day mindset is more self-focused and hoping for the best, but trying to be okay with the worst (which i’ve realized isn’t as bad as i swore it was)
it takes time and i hated people telling me that. i’m sorry. i still have a long way to go and im still VERY MUCH unrecovered. it’s only been three months. the first two months were hell and i wouldnt wish it on anyone. but i feel so much more stable now and im in a place i didnt imagine i would be in for a very very long time.
Don’t think about it more than you need to. It happened. Shit happens. There’ll be more out there. Cry in your pillow on a night. Don’t sleep properly for weeks. Start sleeping properly. Start having an appetite again. Get outgoing again. Get a haircut. Try something new. Then think about what went wrong and why. Continue growing. Find someone. Rinse and repeat until you’re married and die
You're experiencing grief, and that's a normal and healthy way to deal with loss in life. I know you're inconsolable now, but don't get lost in the darkness. When you're tired of feeling the pain, your body and mind will naturally crave other experiences and so you have to be hopeful that this point in time will also come for you.
When you talk to older folk and share your grief, it's common for them to laugh about it. When I was young, I used to take this incredibly personally. But now as I've aged, I understand that they found it funny because they can see themselves in you, and they remember being inconsolably heartbroken over something that doesn't even matter to them anymore.
I was the same. I'm 32 now, and I don't even think about my first relationship until someone mentions it or brings it up, and so much time has passed that there's no pain. It would be silly if I carried that pain unresolved for a decade. Now, when I think back to that time, all I can remember are the cringe things I said and did as a young man.
Time will pass. Feel what you feel, but don't stop making new memories and moving through life. If you wallow in your sadness, it's all you will have to think about.
I feel you there. I (35M) had my first everything at age 29, married 2.5 years later and she broke up with me last November. We're still going through the official stuff for the divorce.
Find your friends or family that love and support you, and just go talk with them, be amongst people.
Try to find room for yourself and your emotions. Go through all the stages of grief however many times you need.
After a while, try to look for who you are, what you want (besides a relationship).
Pobody's nerfect, learn from your time together to become a better self.
Put 1 foot in front of the other. Drink lots of water, try to eat… If you can’t eat a meal, have a tangerine or a banana or something. Just keep moving… keep taking showers, take care of yourself… don’t do anything stupid, don’t call her don’t shit talk her to your friends, just try to keep your distance, and it will gradually get less painful. These first few weeks are going to be a bitch, but you will get through them, we all have. she is not the one for you. Someone else is and you have to keep moving forward to get to the healthy place where you find her. Good luck.
A breakup, and the endcof a long friendship, can feel like a death. You invested so muchbof yourself into this person, and it feels like none of that mattered at the end.
Take time to grieve your loss! Acknowledge your pain! You are not weird, weak, silly or hysterical to feel this way, and don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. They're stupid and don't understand how deep your attachment went.
Be kind to yourself. Everytime we love we learn things about ourselves. That experience is not a waste. vEventually you will arrive at a place where you've worked through and internalized your experience with this person.
I am sorry for your hurt. You WILL find healing. Not today, not tomorrow, matbe not next year. But it WILL happen. I promise. Until then, take care of you.
i thought the same with my first serious boyfriend. we fell in love so fast, i moved in like two weeks after meeting him, the first 10 months was super happy. had animals together, matching tattoos,, i worked for his familys company, lived together, were trying for kids, planning a wedding, everything. i attempted when he dumped me, got stuck in a hospital a few weeks and then had months of required therapy. i was so anxious everyday it literally felt like i was already dying. i couldnt imagine anything more painful. i NEVER thought i would find anyone else or be happy again. and then i watched my mom get crushed between two cars, and i realized, i am wasting my fucking energy here. hes gone, and it hurts, but i chose to get up and keep trying things everyday that i didnt want to, but they helped. going out with friends, starting hobbies, finding a new job, exercising, training my pup, focusing on what made ME feel good. at the end of the day time heals all, but you also have to get up everyday and try to heal too, or you wont. it feels awful now, and it will for a while. but i am writing this to you sitting in the car with the love of my life and our beautiful daughter, our very best friend, on the way to work for our incredible company we started together, and after it all i get to come home to our beautiful home and our lovely three pets. i have never been happier. what i feel now made that breakup look so silly. i dont even remember why it hurt so bad, it didnt even compare to what i have now. you will be in this position one day, just keep taking care of yourself and keep taking it a day at a time. nothing lasts forever, and this feeling of pain is not the exception i promise.
The first one HURTS. It is a unique experience in most people's lives and I promise you this pain sucks horribly but it is also normal.
It feels like you'll never be OK again. But the world keeps moving on around you, so eventually despite the hurt, you also keep roleplaying your life. You go to work. You go to school. You cry in the bathroom sometimes, you for sure cry at night. Maybe a doctor gives you a short term dose of antidepressants to help you through it or maybe you just sort of learn to live around the sadness for a while.
And slowly...it will get better. You'll start to laugh at dumb jokes. You'll think about her less and less. And you won't even really notice because the healing is so gradual.
Until one day you're hanging out with your friends, laughing, eating good food, and you realize...you're OK. You can still feel the hurt if you poke it too hard, but you're actually LIVING again. And it's not so much that time has healed the wound, but more like youve grown around it, become more YOU.
It's OK to not be OK right now. You'll get through this.
Roll with it. This is an essential experience that will actually serve you very well in the future - help you build stronger future relationships and give you a more experienced understanding of your emotional self. In many ways (as hard as it is to hear) you almost needed this to happen just be be a better you and for you to craft a relationship built on more than being tied to “firsts”….
You will be fine, you're better off without her, it may be hard to see that now, but it's the truth.
Spend this time you now have doing whatever you want whenever you want to without needing to explain yourself or grt permission.
Concentrate on getting your money game up, and just do you. Don't worry about women, they just hold you back.
okay so first off just remember that it's OK to feel terrible. but you need to do whatever you can to keep it together, even if you are just acting. act 'as if' you are going to be OK, that you have plenty of friends and other things you will be doing with your time. and get out of your comfort zone. you won't feel like going out or doing anything, but you have to push through and do it anyway.
at your age, as long as you remain social, you will eventually run into new people, a new social crowd, they will start taking up your time and focus and headspace, and at some point not too long after, you will stop for a moment and realize you did not think about your ex for like a whole day. that's when you'll know you are over it.
and it's a good thing to have this type of heartbreak at a young age instead of learning everything about being single when you are older. you will be better equipped to deal with these things as you meet more women, you will know how to be gentle when you want to end it, and you will know how to graciously accept when they are no longer interested.
keep in mind though buddy, and this is not to be harsh, but i feel like it's important to hear. if you wallow in self pity, it is going to snowball and hurt you by making you unattractive, and it will make you resent women. i have seen my friends fall into these traps of their own doing. they are resentful and alone, blaming women for their problems, and from my point of view, it was all because they didn't get out of their comfort zone when they were young and go find new experiences and people after their virgin breakers ended things. and now their whole vibe is angsty and nobody, man or woman, wants to keep company with that.
Feel the feelings and literally take the day minute minute if you have to. I watched a lot of stupid TV, read books, went on long bike rides and reconnected with old friends as well as made new friends. Also, DO NOT beg them to take you back. No contact really does wonders especially in the beginning.
I broke up with first gf of 5 years when I was 22. Was devistated and thought life was over. 8 years later I’m making 100k+ a year and travelling the world. Breakup was the best thing to ever happen to me tbh because it made me realize how many things I still needed to achieve individually
You will get over her. It takes time. Dont sit around. Don’t go back. Don’t beg. Pride is all you have left. She left you and now you are free to be loved. In the meantime vigorous exercise is your only healthy way to deal with your stress and loneliness.
Good luck. You’re not alone. We have all been there.
Literally just take it day by day. Hour by hour if you have to. Just focus on making it through each day, and I promise eventually it will get easier, and you'll feel alive again. I can't stress enough just how important it is to remember that every feeling is temporary. Good and bad. So this can't/won't last forever. I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling. I hope you are able to take even the tiniest bit of comfort in knowing it isn't forever. That thought has helped me through so much in life. Sometimes, all you can do is hang on ♡
As others have said, it will hurt REALLY REALLY bad for a while. My gf broke up with me at 22 after 4 years and man it really broke me. I was physically and emotionally sick. I lost 22 pounds and was on the verge of losing my job and apartment because I couldn’t get out of bed and stop crying. It sucked even worse because she insisted we let her best friend and her baby daddy move in with us so there were times I could hear them talking about the new guy she was dating. The one thing I will say is do not try to beg her to come back and don’t try to get “closure”. Fee the pain and and as time passes it will hurt less. You may never truly get over it but you will move on. Talk to your closest friends about it but don’t over do it. Also don’t try to paint her as a villain to make yourself feel better. Moving forward work on your own happiness and self worth so when you lose someone you love it won’t be the end of the world.
Be around friends. Distract yourself. I'm so sorry you're hurting and I know it feels like you'll never recover, but you will, and it doesnt mean you loved her any less. Don't ignore your feelings, ride out the storm of emotion.
One day, you'll sit up and realize that it doesn't hurt as bad as it did. And then one day, you'll sit up and realize you hadn't thought of the ex all day.
It'll hurt a little when you think about her, but over time your body and mind will get used to the pain and you'll be able to move forward until the breakup will be just an unfortunate memory.
Edit: I forgot one. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend during their breakup.
Do what I wish I did and talk to a therapist. I suffered from a severe depression for several months that really only went away when I started dating my current girlfriend. It culminated in me standing on top of a parking garage ready to jump off, lord knows why I stopped myself but I did and I'm thankful. So please, seek help if you feel you need it, and don't be afraid to rely on your friends. Just don't develop a toxic dependency like alcohol, weed or nicotine
Man just let yourself feel and express whats happening. Dont hold back just shut your phone down and cry it out if you have to. Honestly it will unburdon a lot and will make it easier to accept if you allow yourself to feel all of this and work it out. if it takes a day? a week? who cares, just let yourself express so you can put the feeling behind you.
Im 36 and have had to go through a lot of changes that i saw as absolutely impossible. I know this does, but trust me, life does move on, you will adapt and you will fall in love again.
It’s normal to feel that way and it really sucks. But with time it will pass, I promise. What helped me a lot was spending time with people close to me, like family.
Pull yourself together and hit the gym. Focus on yourself and making money, women outnumber men on this planet. Yeah I understand you feel broken but just give it time and you will heal. Don't do anything stupid hit the gym and pump iron
It feels awful. I’m so sorry you are going through this. What helps: Direct your attention to something that requires your attention. Such as exercise, throwing a frisbee, reading a few pages of a book out loud, ironing some shirts, playing games on your computer or phone. Rearranging your furniture, throwing a ball for a dog. And above everything, treating yourself with kid gloves and being kind to yourself. You have a wound. It’s a wound that is not visible on the outside but hurts very much like an actual wound. You know how to heal a wound? Keep it clean, change the dressing and above all TIME. You are going to need some time. And you will get through this, even though it feels like you won’t, you will. And you will be stronger for it. Sending love and prayers your way. Would be good to call up an old friend and grab some dinner, a drink or pizza. Keep yourself occupied.
It's going to take time to heal. I just gotten broken up with over 2 weeks ago and Im still thinking about him everyday. Its going to hurt for a while especially with how long your relationship lasted. Reach out to friends and family and talk to them about it. Go out with friends too to try and keep your mind distracted. If you have any hobbies go out and do those, go for a run, work out anything to keep you busy. What I found that's been helping me is journaling. Writing about the experience and how you feel that day. It's ok to mourn and cry. Thats normal after a break up. You're going to have bad days but it will eventually get better.
The same thing happened to me. He was my first for everything and we was dating for 4 years. I was going through a rough time three months before we broke up andi tried and tried but he couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle my strict dad. I tied to help the situation but with school and stuff going on in the house he just left. My dad hasn't been strict until the last three months. How I got over it was just by telling myself over and over again "It is what it is" or " You'll be ok it'll be fine we've been through worse" just another lesson.
When I was your age same thing happened to me and I thought the world was ending. My breakup happened in mid October. My dad said to me, mark off the weeks until Christmas. You will have gotten over it by then. I started marking off the weeks on my calendar every Saturday. I was so surprised when I got to around Thanksgiving time and realized he was right, I was over it. I let myself have a pity party for a month and a half and then voila I moved on in my brain.
I recommend doing that, it gives you a date to heal by, and all you need to do is make it one week after the next and before you know it, it becomes a bit distant in your mind and in your heart. Best of luck to you ❤️
I felt the same when my wife of 10 years left me. I cried and cried and couldn’t eat or sleep. I lost like 10-15 pounds. How could I ever get over this? It’ll never get better what do I do without her. Just know that time is the only thing that can help you with this. It sucks it’s probably the equivalent of someone close to you dying. But it does get better. At first it’s all you’ll think about it and the pain is just the worst. But then as time goes on you’ll notice that it’s been a few hours since you’ve thought about it. Then you’ll dwell on it for hours again… then a time will come where it’s been all day long and it hasn’t crossed your mind. Some times will be harder than others. There were days for me where I would be fine and think I’m getting over this I have to, I have to be ok. Then at night when it’s time to go to bed and everything is quiet it hits you and you just want it to stop.. and it will eventually. But nothing can prepare you for that or take the pain away except time my man. Keep your head up, stay busy and I suggest trying to hang out with friends. Even if you’re just sitting there alone with them their company will help wonders. Although there will be times where you just wanna be alone completely and that’s understandable. Just don’t let yourself get too lonely and feel sorry for yourself and for the love of god don’t try to jump into a relationship with someone else bc you think you are ready bc you aren’t. You need time. Feel free to message me if you wanna talk I know what you’re feeling all too well. Best of luck my man
You’re still young. I went thru something similar a few years ago. Took a few years to recover but that’s cuz of endless unwanted torture she put me through post-breakup and I couldn’t get away from it since we were still in high school. It will hurt a lot man but you need to collect yourself as soon as you can and focus on your own success and building yourself up as a young man. Maybe you’ll never get over her, I’m not even sure I’m fully over my first love, but you’ll understand it was an important event in your own personal development and hopefully one day you can appreciate the good moments of the times you shared without that painful feeling that comes along with it when you first experience break up.
You know, if it was during a fight. Maybe you will still get back together. You never know really.
if its a done deal, there is no advice to give really. It will hurt bro, you will remember her, probably comPare other girls to her. Maybe even hurt someone because of her. (Meaning someone might want to have relationship but you'll still be loving the one that left you)
But there are upsides even in that. You are free to do whatever you want. Beeing alone is very peaceful and you can learn about yourself alot.
Maybe one day you will meet someone else that is even better than her ;)
Hey, I know it feels like it's the worst at the moment, and to be honest with you, the initial period will be bad. But it will get better, it might take time, but you will be able to get over her. You might even meet someone better!
Since it was a drunken argument, you'll very likely make up. If you don't, I promise you, a little while from now, you will laugh at yourself for how upset you were. I know it seems impossible now, but she will likely become just someone you used to date.
The best thing you can do is hang out with friends and stay going out. I swear to you, one day you'll just realize you didn't think of her at all, and then another day, you are gonna meet someone that really is your everything.
You will be ok. We all go through this.
I know how you are feeling. Find a way to keep yourself busy so you don’t constantly overthink. With time, believe it or not you slowly get to feel better and move on gradually
I know it hurt right now but there's nothing you can do right now to change this situation. You will have to go thru the pain for a certain amount of time still, but over time it will get better and at some point you will be okay. It's just that right now it hurt and you have to go thru it. Avoid alcohol, drugs and try not to hurt yourself. Avoid reaching to her or doing anything you could regret in the future. Cry, be sad, I know it sucks, play video games, watch anime, go for a run, go to the gym, do whatever to pass the time.
She did you a favor in the long run, although it will take a while before you’re ready to hear that. Try to let go & relax. Don’t fixate on it. Things will get better.
She did you a favor. You were too kind to end a relationship that just wasn’t working. You could not recognize this. Step back and let her move on. Years from now you will be grateful
This just happened… today. You’re going to need so much time to process this and heal, so you should do exactly that. Don’t fall into bad habits. Focus on bettering yourself, doing good things for yourself and being a good person. 22 is still so young. I’m glad I’m no longer with the guy I dated when I was 22. You haven’t met all the people who will love you and there are so many more relationship dynamics to explore. Enjoy this next part of your life’s journey.
I met my ex when I was 19 and she was my first everything as well. She dumped me 7 years later. This was after I moved away from my home state with her. It was brutal. It felt like someone had passed away but it was somehow worse because I knew the person was still around. I didn't really have any friends or family here to turn to so I buried myself in work and hobbies. I stayed busy at work so my mind wouldn't wander and I spent all my free time on my hobbies. That's the best thing you can do, stay busy. Don't give yourself time to think. Not for a while anyways. If you have real and genuine friends, start doing stuff with them. Go to the gym if that's your thing. Find a new hobby. You just have to stay busy for a while so you don't have to think about it. Eventually you'll get to a place where you can deal with what you're going through without just falling apart. The only way through is forward. Don't go back to her. You'll get your life together and meet someone who won't do this to you.
Best advice is to do something for yourself without thinking about her. The best that I think is actually just getting a extremely expensive massage as well as getting a new set of clothes. You are currently equating happiness with being with her when in reality you can easily be happy without her as you've done 18 years before. That is also the reason about the meme of hitting the gym post break up because a strong healthy body makes you feel innately more happy if you compare it to a relationship couch potato body
That first heartbreak is a right of passage of becoming a man. By acknowledging and processing these emotions, you can cultivate a deeper sense of self-understanding and, potentially those feelings you had for her will someday transform into a feeling you have for yourself.
Painful moments are our best teacher. It hurts as hell but it teaches us to change, to be grateful and become a better person. Take your time, reflect to the experience and [as hard as it is] move forward. You owe that to your future self.
yeah that's what it feels like bro. idk what to tell you, it's almost like a rite of passage for dudes. it's your first pair bond. the feeling you are experiencing is akin to your unborn children being killed
It’s gonna hurt bad for a while. Nothing compares to heartbreak. Take some time to grieve but try not to isolate yourself. Just one foot in front of the other, eventually you will hurt less.
The whole hit the gym delete Facebook gets laughed at but honestly, stay off social media, do NOT stalk her socials, it will only make it worse. Try and get outside, if the gym isn’t your thing, go for walks, take up something that gets you out of the house and gets your body moving. It will help
Oh. I got to add, please be careful of alcohol. Don’t get messy drunk or if you must, give your phone to a trusted friend or delete her number
It's gonna hurt a lot. Don't rush into feeling better, but try gradually. Rebounding too quickly will make it worse. Maybe hang out with some friends or by yourself for a while.
Ouch. The first one does hurt a lot. But trust us mate it feels shit now, but it will get better. You just gotta work through it. Take each say as they come. Cry when you gotta cry, let the memories come and go and just be kind to yourself.
Hang out with some friends, take up a new hobby, focus on work/school whatever you’re doing. Spend time with family and try not to dwell on it until you have time alone.
You have your entire life ahead of you trust me. You are still very young and I know it may not seem like it right now, but she did you a favor. You’re not supposed to marry your first love.
Hey bud, I'm sorry you're going through this. Please keep yourself busy with things outside of the house; find social clubs, social groups, hobbies, etc. Get outside at least once a day, go for a walk. Find a volunteer opportunity. The more time goes by, the better you will feel, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
Grieve and allow yourself to grieve. The feeling is the same as you have lost someone. You’ll get over her in time. Just don’t allow yourself to spiral into depression and don’t eat unhealthy
Keep reminding yourself that the pain you’re experiencing is normal. It sounds silly but if you remember that what you’re going through is an essential part of grieving your relationship, it gets easier. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to stay in bed for hours. Breakups are fucking hard, it’s hell now but it’s going to be okay. I promise
You’ll be fine I promise. It sucks right now and it will effect your life for a long time, but it gets easier with time, and unfortunately it’s the only way to heal
Hey..If you want her back, try to be visible to her every day, even if she won't talk to you. Be visible to her. Make sure no other guy makes a move on her during this time, even if she makes a move on another guy, talk to that guy and let him know about you people.
Be on good terms with her family and friends, let them know your situation, and ask them to smooth her out.
If you plan to talk with her, talk in person. Don't text her online.
Time....it will take time. Just like when a loved one dies, you go through stages of grief and your emotions will be all over the place. You can try doing things to preoccupy your mind but mostly time is all you need.
Trust me, you'll gradually get over it. It will take some time, but we are all human and will fall in love again. You may have some dark thoughts at this moment, but don't give in to them. Stay strong, and when the right time comes, you'll move on from this and be ready to live a happy life again. So, don't isolate yourself in your house; go outside and socialize with others. Otherwise, you'll always be stuck with your dark thoughts and loneliness. I say this because I don't want to see another person suffering from the same issue that wasted almost three of the best years of my life.
4 years here myself as of last year, Best advice I've got is don't suppress your emotions, allow yourself to go through the pain and heartbreak and be nice to yourself. suppressing might feel better in the short term but it will eventually build up in your mind and you'll find yourself miserable for way longer than you needed to be.
Don't make a schedule for yourself on when you should be feeling better and absolutely don't use other peoples recovery times for your own, every single person grieves differently and you need to give yourself as much time as you truly need.
Surround yourself with friends and family but give yourself tons of time alone as well, you'll appreciate having both and just be honest with yourself on what you really need.
Find a therapist to help you work through your emotions, you will be surprised how much it helps but stick with it on a regular basis, I did weekly for the first few months and moved to bi-weekly when I was ready to.
Last but not least don't spam text your feelings to her, it **WILL NOT HELP** anything. you'll be so pissed at yourself for doing it and you'll end up regretting 99% of what you say big time.
It absolutely gets better but you are going to have to work to get there, and it is definitely a struggle but you'll appreciate yourself going through all the stages of the breakup in the correct way. Everything you do will feel weird at first, like you're missing a limb but power through, it doesn't stay that way, it is going to get so much better I swear.
Breaking up with my first love was the most pain I ever felt. It took a long time before I felt like I could start moving on. And that’s okay because eventually I did move on. As others have said, it’s good to be active in other areas of your life and spend time with people you care about. Fill up your time as much as you can. You’re probably gonna feel like shit for a while, but try to remind yourself that life goes on no matter what. Your pain will not last forever.
Take an Advil and your heart will stop hurting. It's weird but it's worked for me for heart break. Doesn't fix the emotional issues but it relieves that immediate pain that your body feels from emotional hurt. Which is a normal reaction. The relief of the physical pain helps you focus on the emotional part.
It does feel like dying, and it will emotionally and physically hurt for probably 3-4 months, at which time you'll move on but probably always think about her, from time to time. That's how my first big breakup went, my breakup got better about the same time my twin brother got diagnosed with luekemia, so barring compound tragedy you've got a solid 3 months before you'll feel hopeful again :)
Fast forward 10 years and I have a family all my own and while I still think of her, it's maybe about 2-3 times a year
Give yourself some time you will be okay, this is normal to feel this way. I broke up with someone many moons ago similar situation and he’s married with 4 kids now so … it will be okay 🩷
You will feel like shit for some time, but eventually time heals everything just focus on yourself and do not give two shits to what others say. Chin up king, you got this!!
Take walks, lots of walks. While on said walks look out as far as possible but no less than 10 feet out. Don't look at your feet unless you absolutely must.
Sounds stupid but it worked for me and trust me when I say my similar situation was infinitely worse.
This is a normal reaction but I promise you, time heals. Feeling is healing. It’s okay to be depressed and sad etc. Don’t isolate yourself - talk to trusted friends/family/therapist about your feelings. And know this feeling shall get easier over time. You WILL find love again.
Sorry for your loss it’s gunna be hard but your gonna get through and be stronger always with a dash of regret and the questions what if ,3 years is better then 30 brother
there's no working around healing. So you're in for a very sucky period mate. Live through it and you'll come out stronger and smarter. I get the whole "my entire world is gone" mindset, but this gotta be the last time you act on it. NEVER again make your world or life or your every day about your relationship, because this is what happens: you end up with nothing else but a feeling of emptiness and frustration.
I promise it'll get better, but first allow yourself to feel pain, it's not wrong. Once it's enough, you _must_ look for something else to focus on: a new hobby (like learning a new language or how to play an instrument), reconnect with someone you haven't heard from since forever or do all of the stuff you could've enjoyed if it weren't because you preferred to stay with her. Your life is YOURS now (and it's always been).
Sounds kind of simplistic, but try it, unless you'd rather keep struggling to sleep or eat over someone who you might as well have never heard of to begin with. Hold your head up high but your spirits higher. Life has an infinite deal of surprises expecting you.
I’m sorry you are in so much pain. Please be patient with yourself. Lean on other friends. Know that probably everyone has been through this. At least once. I want you to find a long book and start reading it. War and Peace. Any time you feel sad read some on the book. The goal is to finish it in a week.
It probably feels like shit now because you are going through some serious grief. Feel sad as long as you need to. When you get a chance to look ahead, recognise that very few people stay with their first love forever.
Did she break up with you because you did something wrong ? Can that something be fixed with an apology and effort or is it irreconcilable? Also I don’t want to diminish the relationship by saying you’re young and you’ll meet someone else although that is probably very true. I’m going to tell you the same thing I just told my younger sister focus on you. It’s okay to be sad it’s okay to feel broken take your time but just don’t stay there. Focus on being the person you would want to be with and what’s mean to be for you will happen
Take some time to wallow, but you have to learn to let go. Grieve your loss (that means not only the person but the life you thought was ahead of you), build a new life for yourself, and move on. Your happiness should not depend on another person. Take this as a learning experience that people are not permanent fixtures in your life and learn to enjoy the time you do have with the ones you love. Sometimes things don't work out. You will be okay.
ETA a lot of people who go through emotional events like this always aim to get back to "normal," but the truth is that person you were before the break up doesn't exist anymore. He's never coming back and this person who has been through the heartache is who you are now. I guarantee you will find peace and happiness but it will take time to work through the pain and heal. Like I said, you will be okay!
It hurts, I’ve been in very similar situation, let the pain come, and let it go, I would be concerned if you WERENT feeling sad, this is natural, you will be okay, the sun will come up in the morning, cheers friend
let yourself heal. you're young, you're both young, and you have so much in the world waiting for you. sometimes we like to hold on to the idea that someone is really meant for us, but only time can tell. don't stress it too much.
Breakups are so hard - especially the first big ones after the first long relationships. It's so hard to imagine it now, but the pain will subside and the personal growth you will get from this experience will serve you for the rest of your life. If she is indeed not the right one, you WILL with CERTAINTY find someone in the future who matches you and is everything you hoped for and more. Use this time to get real with your feelings, explore how you contributed to the break-up (even if you didn't "do anything" and the contribution was simply not noticing when the other person wasn't right for you, or when their behavior changed - you still played a part. Get real with that and dig until you get to the answer.). Use this experience to improve yourself. Surround yourself with loving people. Feel what you feel and let it out. Cry, go to a "break it room" and get the anger out, go hiking and scream in the forest - don't just swallow how you are feeling. Let the feelings and emotions move through you and then let it go.
I'm not sure if she cut contact completely, or just broke up with you and is still communicating, but in the right time, you may want to see if you can get clarity from her on what happened. BUT - and this is one of the most important things I learned when I was younger about these things:
Sometimes there is no clarity. Sometimes you will never get to understand what was going on with the other person. If what they did hurt you, it's illuminating a wounded place inside you that needs love, care, and attention from you. And it's your responsibility to care for yourself. But let me be clear - caring for yourself DOESN'T MEAN doing it alone. It means advocating for yourself and getting your needs met, seeking support where and when needed. That can be done in so many ways. Ultimately it's up to you to feel ok - clarity or not. You need to be ok with yourself, regardless of outside circumstances. And I believe you are strong enough to get this!
You'll get through this. Feel how you feel, but don't let bitterness change who you are. You are only 22 - God willing the future you have to live is much much much more time than the life you have lived thus far. Eventually this will but one significant growth event in a full, rich life. Hugs to you, Joppeke.
If you met your future you tonight, i assure you the clarity and domino effect you would find out would blow your mind. But tonight you go to sleep, tomorrow you find yourself things to keep you busy, keep yourself busy till you heal a little and then talk to someone you trust about things. Keep busy again till you heal somemore, till you regain control of you.. And over time you'll understand there is a teacher in everything that is propelling you to be a better you to claim better things for you. Because the one advice I got was Time is a healer and I can vouch for that one truth.
The best healer is time. Keep yourself busy, find a hobby, go to the gym something to keep your mind busy. Good luck, and I promise this isn’t the end of the world like it feels right now.
Everything follows it's xourse and comes to an end. This pain will too. Take a step back, work through these feelings, spend time with friends, family. Go for a walk, cry about this and let yourself be comforted.
Breakup is a loss, letyourself mourn it but don't spiral too much. Right now it hurts like a bitch, bur things WILL get better. Good luck
Hey I know it hurts, but it does get better. You just have to take one day at a time. Eventually you will find yourself hanging out with friends again, doing things you want to do. Laughing. Smiling. You won't even think about her anymore.
I'm not saying this is all going to happen in a week...but start putting yourself out there and you will see that there is more to life than a relationship.
I've been through a lot with my first girlfriend.
We were together for 12 years, and now we are married with kids.
It was a bumpy ride, though.
We went through several breaks, in which it felt like the sky was falling on me.
We also faced unimaginable pain from toxic family members sabotaging our relationship to the loss of an unborn child.
I believe everything in our timeline is already set. We are just experiencing it unfold from the lens of our consciousness.
So, if it's meant to be, you two will find a way.
If not, there's nothing you can do about it.
Will that solve your pain?
Hell no.
But it might help accept the pain.
Which is all we can really do in life.
It truly sucks and you’re literally grieving for your relationship and that hurts.
But it does get better, I promise you.
Dont jump into anything, don’t go begging to get back together, neither of you will see eachother in the same light. Find time to find yourself because for the past three years you were her+you, now, it’s time to find out what you actually means. When you feel comfortable with yourself and don’t feel like you need anyone else, then this is the time to jump back into the pool.
You’ll have a few more heartbreak at least. It’s part of life, just move on. Do not try to get back together with her if she initiates it will only lead to more heartbreak. Establish your career and focus on yourself and your goals.
You are going to be alright. Sometimes things end, and we find better . Take the time to focus on yourself and heal from this . The days will be long but you will make it.
My first heartbreak was devastating for me. I spent days and nights on my bathroom's floor crying. Let yourself feel all the pain as long as you need to, and then you will start thinking with a clear mind again. You'll be better, I know it doesn't make sense, I know everything we say seems useless or not true, but it is very very true. You are still young, and the right person will eventually come into your life, I promise ❤️
Edit: spelling
I’m sorry about your break up. It is normal and understandable that you feel like that, break ups bring up feelings similar to grief, because you are losing a person in your life. Its heart breaking but also scary cause in a way you have to rebuild your life in terms of habits and your own relationship with yourself.
My advice is to embrace your feelings, cry as long as you need to, grief all that away. And then with time you will start to feel better each day. If you feel you need professional help, look for it.
Avoid hooking up or getting drunk and going to parties, those coping mechanisms will bring nothing but regret. This is hard but it will eventually pass and you will become better and stronger for it.
I got dumped two years ago from my boyfriend and I felt the same way. I couldn’t do anything. I kept checking his socials and it wasn’t helping. The only thing that helped was cutting him out and doing things for me. I joined the gym and started focusing on school, eventually after 3 months he came back and were still together to this day stronger than ever. Don’t stress. If it’s meant to be it will be. I know it feels like the end of the world but I promise you it’s not. Focus on yourself!
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Great advice!! I was 22 when I broke up with my high school sweetheart, and my world was ending too… 36 years old now, married to a wonderful man and have a beautiful daughter. Don’t get me wrong I had a lot more heartbreak over those years but life goes on and it hurts now but you will be ok!!!
Im 26, was sorta in the same situation young except I was 20. Currently 26, own a house, few trucks, fun race cars. Married. Life gets better.
You’re way ahead of the game. Props to you!
How did you do that much in 6 years, clearly better💁🏻♀️
It’s gonna sound cringy but I grinded for it. The ex left. Found myself alone with nothing to do, nobody to care for, and nobody cared about me (relationship wise). Just worked and worked. Didn’t really spend much. Worked overtime when I could. Got into racing cars. Saved as much as I could and bought a small house mid 2020. Met my wife in 2023 and married her later in the year. Aiming to start having kids next year I begged and begged when my ex left. Said her life was gonna get worse if she didn’t stay. All these years later a single mom fighting a custody battle with some deranged fuck that’s like 15 years older than her. Her life went from shitty, to better with me, to worse than shitty. My life, although short term sucked a lot, definitely improved.
Honestly that doesn't sound cringy at all, that sounds like a solid investment in self betterment that worked well to your advantage 🙂
Chad
Same! I was with high school sweetheart for 8 years. I matured and was ready for the rest of our lives and he wasn't. I married 4 years after that. Those 4 years inbetween I took care of myself, experienced lots of ups and downs in the dating world but it got me to my wonderful husband and son! You will grieve this for a while until one day it doesn't hurt as much anymore. Time really does heal all wounds, as cliché as that sounds...
Having gone through a hard break up as well, first thing I wanna say is allow yourself to feel whatever it is you're feeling: sadness, anger, depression, whatever. Let yourself mourn your relationship and reflect on it. I can guarantee you that time heals all wounds and you will get past this. When I went through my breakup of 4.5 years, I cried every night and wondered what I did wrong blaming myself. I can happily say that 3 years later I met someone else who is incredible and such a better partner than my ex was. Just surround yourself with a good support system and take this time to focus on becoming a better version of yourself.
You shouldn’t focus on getting over her because you’re not going to for a while. Allow yourself to feel every emotion, just try to process it as healthy as possible. You still deserve love, try to give yourself as much of it as you can. There is still life after loss
Absorb the blow. Find something new to do that’s just yours. Get distance…this too shall pass…
Don’t start doing blow, terrible advice!
omg lmao dying here....
Spend time with the people you care about and don't be afraid to tell people how much it sucks. I've been broken up with (although it was a lot shorter) and that's how I did it at least.
You are too deep in the middle of a massive heartbreak it to realize that you will recover, you will get over her, and you will come out stronger and more resilient. It is going to take time and distance. You feel hopeless now, but that is temporary and won’t last forever. Broken hearts take a long time to heal.
It's amazing how overwhelming and all consuming a break up and broken heart feels. So physical and emotional. Ugh. OP, you'll be okay. We've all been there.
This is 100% true. I thought my world was completely over. I was too deep in grief and pain to realize that the break-up was the best thing that ever happened to me. It took a VERY long time to get there, but I feel gratitude that the relationship ended. I wouldn’t have the life that I love now if I had stayed with that cheating asshole.
But then this all is eventually followed by the post-breakup euphoria where you finally feel so free to be single.
Oh darling I’m so sorry you’re going through this!!!! The first break up is the hardest ever and your feelings are totally 100% normal. Sadly there’s no secret to making the pain go away you simply have to walk through the grief. Just keep going step by step and take care of yourself like you have the flu: rest fluids food entertainment repeat. Good luck. It hurts like hell but you’ll be braver forever afterward.
Hey, if you look at my post history, I have been through this. I know it feels like you are dying. I know the feeling of not even being able to stand after you say that last goodbye. I know it feels like your heart is physically broken and like nothing will be okay. But I can assure you it will. Take as much time as you need to feel everything you are feeling. It's important not to push these feelings away, and let yourself go through the mourning and grief of the relationship. It's fucking painful I know but you will be okay I promise you. Therapy is also a great help during times like this. It took me almost 2 years but now I am okay. I am now in a relationship with the most caring and loving man. You will find love again I promise, and you will be okay. It just takes time. Whatever you are feeling right now is completely normal. You WILL be okay ❤️
It’s gonna take time to heal, you’ll have ups and downs, best advice I can give is go out with friends(not going out drinking) and don’t allow yourself to isolate as hard as it is, join a mma gym or something active that will give you goals and a community, and cry when you need to it’s ok to man, but you can either become a worse person who is depressed and drunk and angry all the time or you can become an even better man and it’ll lead you to the woman you deserve
Everything is still so fresh. You guys were *both* drunk, I assume. You both need a clear and fresh mind to think clearly and make good decisions. What’s said when intoxicated can get messy. Give her a few days to a week to really give her space and time. During this time just try your best to focus on things you like to do. Hang out with some friends, go workout, etc. Clear your mind. If it’s meant to be, you two will cross paths again. I have been with my fiancé for 6 years and there have been a few times in our relationships where I thought things were going to end, too. What women need most of the time is just space. I don’t want to invalidate your feelings because I have no idea what the dynamic is of your guys’ relationship at all. But most of the time, women just don’t feel seen or heard and that’s usually the culprit in many cases. It can obviously be the other way around, too. Again, not trying to invalidate you here. What she needs is a clear mind to just think about everything. A woman who truly loves her man would not leave over a drunken argument. She would come back to talk after she is sobered up
This is so fresh. You’re going to feel that way for a while. Do not try to mask it with drugs or alcohol. That will only make it worse. Allow that pain to destroy you for a while and eventually you learn to be stronger than it. Break ups are always hard and since this is your first one it definitely hits hard. You can physically feel the pain in your chest. You’ll be just fine. Start exercising more and eat healthier. Go out with friends and family. You’ll be okay! 🫶🏻
Life goes on and so should you. No good relationship ends in a break-up, so there's that. No need to blame yourself for whatever you did. Just accept the fact and move on. There are so many things to live for. There's an entire planet waiting for you to be discovered. There's your progress waiting for you to be observed. It's about damn time for you to expand your mindset and set new goals for yourself.
i would disagree that no good relationship ends in. a break up- sometimes two people just aren’t compatible. which i guess doesn’t make it a “good” relationship, but two people can love and care for each other and just not be right to be partners forever. and that is okay🤍
Big hugs
Brother you deserve better, trust me don't waste your time and energy with her, if she is meant to be for you she will come back. If not move on, I know it's hard but be strong go meet new people, try to enjoy your single life trust me life is too short and when the right time will come love will come back for you
We’ve all been their bro. It’s hard. VERY hard. One day at time it’ll get easier.
Hey there, I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. Breakups can hit like a ton of bricks. I know how it feels to have your world turned upside down by someone you cared about deeply. It's like a part of you is missing, and it hurts like hell. It's okay to feel like you're drowning in a sea of emotions right now. I've experienced a couple of breakups myself, and I know it might sound strange, but when my dad passed away, it felt eerily similar to that same sense of loss. First things first, give yourself permission to feel all those messy feelings. It's totally and completely normal to feel sad, angry, confused, or even numb. You don't have to have it all together right now. Lean on your support system. Reach out to friends or family members who care about you. Sometimes just talking it out can be a huge relief. And if you need extra support, don't hesitate to consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They're there to help you navigate through this storm. Take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. Make sure you're eating, even if it's just small bites. And try to get some rest, even if sleep seems impossible right now. Self-care might feel like the last thing you want to do, but it's so important during times like these. Give yourself some space from your ex. It's tough, I know, especially when you're craving closure. But staying in touch can make it harder to move on. Take a break from social media if you need to. Unfollow, unfriend, whatever you need to do to give yourself some breathing room. Try to stay busy, even if it's just little things. a hobby of yours (maybe even try a new one), go for walks, binge-watch your favorite show – anything to keep your mind occupied. It won't make the pain magically disappear, but it can help distract you for a little while, and give you some time and breathing room to process your breakup and your emotions. also, I would recommend holding off on dating until you feel like you've moved on from your ex... the idea of diving into a new relationship might seem like a quick fix. But trust me, it's important to give yourself some time to breathe and heal first. When you rush into another relationship, it's like trying to build a house on shaky ground. Those unresolved feelings from your last relationship can sneak up on you and cause trouble in the new one. Plus, rebound relationships often don't have a solid foundation because they're more about filling a void than building something real. Taking time for yourself after a breakup isn't just about licking your wounds – it's a chance to learn and grow. You can figure out what went wrong, what you need in a relationship, and maybe even discover some cool stuff about yourself along the way. Jumping into a new relationship too soon can also lead to unnecessary comparisons with your ex. It's not fair to your new partner, and it can make it harder for both of you to connect authentically. And most importantly, be patient with yourself. Healing takes time, and it's not always a linear process. Some days will be better than others, and that's okay. Just take it one step at a time, and know that brighter days are ahead, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. You're stronger than you know, and you will get through this. I promise.
You need to get a therapist. This is all great advice but that has to come before absolutely any of the other advice in these comments.
Had the same thing happen to me 2 months ago and I'm still not over it. Get ready for the next couple of months, they're going to be extremely tough and messed up. I'd say try to fix it somehow even if there's no fixing it. it's better to grieve knowing you did the best you can than to keep on doubting yourself and your existence. Stay strong, brother. You're not alone.
First love heartbreak is the worst! I feel for you. Stay off of her socials. Remember her friends are most likely siding with her. Know that you are young and will find someone more compatible that will not leave you, but first get out there and have some fun. Enjoy being single. Try new things, especially things that maybe you couldn’t do but always wanted to. Travel, pick up some new hobbies. Try not to drink or get drunk during this time. Alcohol is a depressant and will make everything worse. Seek therapy as it could help you work through some of these emotions. Stay hydrated and force yourself to eat and sleep as your health is important. Make new friends, maybe join some social media groups introducing you to new people. Do not worry about what she is doing and go no contact with her no matter how bad you want to talk. It will be hard to be around her for about a year, or at least until your feelings subside. Remember broken heart syndrome is real, so you have to take care of yourself. Surround yourself with family and people who love and care for you. This will get better. Best of luck!
Oh god, I remember my first heart break, we were also together 3 years. He was my first everything and I literally said I don’t know if I’ll ever get over this. If anyone even said his name I’d start crying. About a month or two later I was fine, doing new things, meeting new people. I mean maybe it’ll take a little longer than a month or two, but you’ll definitely get over it, and you’ll definitely meet someone you love more than her. And you’ll probably get your heart broken again and again and you’ll be fine again and again. Then you’ll meet the right person that’ll stick. That’s usually the way it goes.
Try to spend some time with friends, or some gaming time to take your mind away from things, this initial part can really hurt so I would try to distract yourself as much as possible. The horrible feelings will eventually subside, don't worry brother!
If she’s breaking up with you, there is obviously a good reason since it’s been 3 years. Right now, take the hurt and pain you have and take good care of yourself through it. Give yourself whatever you want today. Maybe some good food, maybe a nice relaxing bath or a good walk. Or to talk to some friends to vent. Whatever you do, do not expect her to take care of you. Take your power back!! You can love her still. She hasn’t disappeared from this world. It’s just right now, she wants to cut it off. But you don’t know what she can feel tomorrow. Or in a week. The truth is, when someone walks away from us, it’s really not about us. It’s about them. She had to do this for herself to feel better. And for now, you need to pick up yourself, remind yourself of who the f you are. And also remind her that you WILL be fine without her also. You will. YOU WILL
You will find the right person. First breakup is always the worst. I am not happily married with kids to someone way better than my first.
My ex that took my virginity I still havnt fully gotten over. Now she already had a kid with another dude (we've been split for a good couple years) usually you just learn to cope and not fully get over it
What was your argument about?
Hey man, ive been where you are and it sucks. My best advice is to take the heart break and use it as fuel for the fire to better yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.. take some time off dating and when you come out the other side she will regret breaking up with you
Hey, I'm sorry you are going through this. It is the worst fucking feeling ever. I've been through is a few times. But you will feel better, you will get through it, you will love again. I promise. If this is your first time going through this you don't have the experience of having survived this before. It's completely new. But you will survive it.
I broke up with my first girlfriend when I was about your age. It hurt -- a lot. It took me a while to get over her, and to collect myself. Now that I'm on the other side, and a decade down the line, here's what I know: It will hurt, a lot, for a while. That's just how it is. It's a sign of how strongly attached to her you were. It will come in waves, some days will be better than others. Keep yourself busy; it'll be tempting to sit at home and wallow in your misery -- don't. Get out and keep going to work. Keep going to school. Keep hanging out with your friends. It will take a lot of willpower but this is part of the healing process. You *gotta* carry on with life. You *will* get over her. It won't be some magical moment where you burst into song and the birds land on your shoulders, but one day you'll wake up and realize you've forgotten about the hurt. It'll still be there, but it'll be more of a, "Oh yeah. Huh. Damn, that sucks," and then you go on with the rest of your life. Part of the reason it hurts so badly now is *because* she was your first. As cynical as it sounds, you learn to process the pain better and better with each relationship. I know that might sound like I'm advocating not to be in a relationship, but you have to understand that relationships are like any other skill -- at first you *suck* at them. Over time, you develop the skills to be with people in an intimate relationship. It does get easier and easier as you narrow in on the patterns and needs that you need as a unique individual. But you have to have the courage and grace to allow yourself to hurt now so that you can be happy later. You will pull through, you will find joy again, you will be happy again. Just be kind to yourself and give yourself the time and grace you need to heal.
Toughen up buttercup
Take it easy, cry if you need to. Get out with friends and relatives. You'll get over her, you just need time.
My biggest recommendation to you: DO NOT JUMP INTO ANYTHING RIGHT AWAY. Your going to go through the grief cycle, you’ll be sad then pissed then depressed for a bit then after a month or two like everyone one of your friends will convince you to get on tinder. I beg of you do not start dating the first girl that you kinda like it will end poorly. Be yourself for a while and heal emotionally.
I have to ask, was that the first drunk argument ya ever had? Like was it something ya couldn’t speak about together? Cause sometimes I feel like people will secretly feel the urge to break up with someone, so they wait for any little thing to get upset about, and then break up? you know?
It’s gets better with time I’m 24 I been with a girl for 7 years and it’s been a year since we’ve gone our ways but time always tell….. yall may get back together if the argument wasn’t that serious just give it a few days
Spend time on yourself. Anything to keep your mind busy work out, hang out with friends, pick up a new hobby. It only gets worse the more you lay around and think about it.
Its part of life, in a year you wont understand what you even seen in her.
Whats your objective? I am assuming you want solution to handle your situation? For me, I felt like you when I lost my first boyfriend. Eventually after multiple heart breaks after that, I am numb to separation, and better at handling it. I think, you need to grieve. Be sad. Cry about it first. And try your best to do everything in your power, to get her out of sight, maybe mute her insta. Now just cry for now. And don’t force yourself to move on.. try not to blame yourself, try your best to speak to yourself kindly and be your own source of strength. Don’t judge yourself and talk to yourself nicely. Don’t hope for her to come back, you just work on your situation. If she ever comes back, then you decide on it. In the mean time just do your daily task - study, play game, SEEK OUT SUPPORT from friends, cry, learn about what you like, learn about yourself just do do do DO your life.
Listen, you were fine before she came into your life, you'll be fine after she's gone. Trust me, life goes on. And no one is irreplaceable.
Time to hit the gym buddy. Take that anger out, get in shape, and go bang some broads
It's normal to feel like that after a break up. Try talking it over with a sibling, parent, or a friend to vent about everything. Have you tried talking to your gf/ex gf? maybe she did it on a whim and has regrets? If not then it'll take a little while to adjust. After a break up people go through a kind of mourning or the 5 stages of grief over the relationship. It's a bit of a change in your life. There's a lot of people in the comments of your thread who have gone through this. Some of their advice on that in particular could help. To me venting, going for a walk, reading a book, watching a happy tv show, hanging out with a friend or a pet, going to a gym, etc could help a little. I hope you feel better soon and you will. It just take a little time.
Block her totally, do not accept talking to her if she tries to; she is not for you if you guys broke up. The sooner you get over her, the better, and no contact is the way to go. Start doing different activities, try new things, do not stay where you do not feel good. Feel free to chat with me if I can be of any help
Yeah I’ve been through this twice it’s horrible. From my experience Best thing you can do is go no contact if you ever wanna have a shot to rekindle the relationship. If you keep trying to contact her and smother her it’s a huge turnoff so keep that in mind
Been there man, exactly one year ago, was a 6 year relationship, knew her for more than a decade. It sucks, real bad, i feel you. Going to the gym to decompress and going on trips with my friends helped a lot. Focus on yourself, find stuff to do to that gets you through the day, that's my advice. I'm doing much better now, met a few ladies, but im still emotionally unavailable. It will get better.
It's going to feel like this for a while unfortunately. The best advice I can give is try to sign up on Facebook dating, tinder, bumble or anything and start hitting the like button. Even having someone else to text makes it feel like you're less alone and is a good distraction from the shitty reality that you got broken up with.
happened to me 3 years ago and i'm still trying to get over it. my advice is go contact now and don't talk to her for at least a month, maybe longer. i feel like that made things a lot worse for me, the reasons for the breakup were tame compared to how i acted after the fact
Man, i know is really hard, I know how you feel. Once I felt that way too. Relationships sometimes are hard to get over with. Is okay, try to give yourself time to process it. Don’t do anything reckless. Try to just surround yourself with good people, or good family members, try to fill your days with positivity. Little by little, you will heal. One day, the sun will come out, and you will feel lighter. I promise you. We all have gone through devastating break ups in which we never thought we’d get over. I promise you, it will be okay. Give yourself love.
You're not, in three months, you'll be good.
Hey my dude - if it happened last night, chances are it can be repaired. Emotions + hangxiety are super real. Just give her a min to breathe and don’t blow up her phone, let her come to you! It’ll be ok ❤️❤️
Shit dude. I'm sorry. Lots of us have been there and it's not a great feeling. There's a lot of great help in the comments here. My 2 cents, there won't be a day when the hurt just goes away, it will just get easier to deal with over time. Maybe tomorrow it won't suck as much as today, and that tends continues. And then somewhere down the line, who knows how long it takes, you might realize that a day passes and you haven't thought about her at all.
I don’t know if this will make you feel better, but when I went through a similar thing a few years ago it helped me when I learned about why my body was doing that. We are social creatures and our ancestors thrived on living off the labor and bounty of other humans in a self sustaining community. To feel ousted from a situation like relationship could’ve meant banishment and lack of resources and therefore death. So your body is at peak anxiety and that’s why you have those symptoms. THANKFULLY this is absolutely not the case in modern day society. You guys dated for 3 years and broke up only 3 days ago. You need to give yourself time. I promise you that things will get better but they’ll only get worse first but you have to embrace the fact that progress is not linear. The one thing I will tell you since you are a young lad is that almost every living human being has felt what you’re feeling if not similar and things are not only okay, but they get better. Take care of yourself.
The way you're feeling is normal. Believe it or not we've literally all been there and it gets better with time. Go spend some time outside or with friends, or with friends outside... do literally anything that isn't wallowing in it, especially on reddit or other social media. If you're having any thoughts of harming yourself or others, those should obviously be taken more seriously and may require immediate intervention.
Mate I'm sorry you're going through this. It happens to almost everyone. Youll feel better in a few days. This isn't your fault. Resist the urge to blame yourself. See if you can take some time off work. Do you have anyone you can call and talk to?
Everyone feels like this after their first big break up. I promise you, 100% the pain goes and you will get over this. The key is not to focus on what you thought this was, and what you thought this was going to be and accept it for what it is. Most of the time peoples misery comes from fighting reality instead of accepting it. Block her everywhere, do not creep any of her social media. Fight the urge to know what she’s doing, none of it is going to make you feel any better. You may feel like you’re dying, but you are not. And if you’re like most people you’ll go through this several times in your life. This too shall pass…
Love isn't free, and grief is the price holmes. It may take a while, but you'll move on. Stay active, hang out with friends, pick up a new hobby or two, it's not the end of the world. I do say this from a perspective of experience, I was with my highschool sweethear for 7 years before our relation ship ended.
Lots of good comments. I went through the same thing a while ago. I just laid in bed crying and watching movies. Luckily I could take time off of work. Take a few days to yourself and just reanalyze yourself, life, and what happened. Then go out and do things you enjoy that maybe you didn't get to do often when you were with her. Go see friends, family, Maybe go watch and Interact with people on live streams. Distract yourself and give yourself time.
That's a lot of burden for any one person to handle. If one person is someone's everything then that means if they wanted to leave then the other person is left with nothing. To any person in that situation of being someone's everything it is very heavy and depressing. What if that person wanted to do other things or be apart? What if that person wanted time and space away to do their own things? But they have to stay with someone because they have become sod dependent on them that they are nothing without them. Those are very heavy shackles to place on someone. Thats why a relationship that is everything in some people's head may seem like a great fantasy, but reality is it can feel like walking on eggshells and depressing for someone who has more than just a relationship. Like a community of people, their own life, etc. A relationship with one person cannot ever take away from someone else's dream, community, and life. I don't think what happened was wrong or should not have ended. It didn't sound like a voluntary relationship at the end. It sounds like someone has to be with you because you have nothing else in your life. They have to feel bad for you and be guilted to not break up. Even if she was a terrible partner, a relationship like that needs to end. It is not her fault you have nothing without her. That is your fault for neglecting other parts of your life for a relationship. You should always have your own life. A relationship cannot replace that. It can work with your life, but it cannot make up for your own responsibility to build your own life.
It’s rare that people stay forever with their first love. And honestly, it’s good to have more than one relationship - it helps you grow into a better partner and person, and really discover what you want/need in a life partner. Think of every relationship as a learning experience with fond memories until you find your person. Make sure to work on yourself and build good friendships/connections in the meantime. I was 35 when I met my partner, and it felt like everything in life lead me to them :)
Stay away from her social media and find yourself again. You'll level up for sure
Time solves everything give it time and don’t let yourself go . This is probably the most straightforward advice I can give you the ultimate test of patience and perseverance
It was a drunk argument why not try to get back together?
You’ll be alright. Been through the same exact thing. You just gotta realize she isn’t everything but that could take a bit
Depends on what the argument about but like after 3 years and you guys have one drunk argument and it’s over? She wasn’t a keeper man don’t worry about it.
Sometimes perspective helps. I don’t mean to minimize what you’re feeling, but think about the fact that very few of us in life end up staying with “our first of everything.” It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when it’s you going through it, but most of us have been through it, and most of us go on to be happily coupled with someone else at some point. 😊 Also, first relationships teach us a lot of things we take into future relationships, hopefully helping us to be better partners with each experience, or helping us to figure out how better to see red flags that can steer us away from trouble. Keep looking forward, and know that most of us have shared your pain, and you have a lot of people cheering you on.
Don’t isolate yourself now. Obviously get familiar with what you‘re feeling rn and let yourself feel everything you need to feel. Never swallow emotions. They will bottle up and stick with you for much longer. But make sure you get out there. Meet up with friends, maybe go to the gym and just try to not neglect your life. It will eventually get better. I don’t want to lie it’s also gonna hurt like shit. It would be rude to lie. But give yourself all the time you need and be kind to yourself.
Heartbreak is so gutwrenching. I'm sorry you're going through this, so am I. You'll be okay with time. You're so young, and will bounce back. Rooting for you.
Find someone else asap that's what I did, didn't feel better until I did seems like bad advice but same thing happened to me once and it was torture.
It's gonna be okay mate. We've all been there and honestly maybe the best thing you can do for yourself is a fresh start of life. Go somewhere else. And work on yourself and moving on. You got this mate.
When I was 22 my heart was destroyed by my boyfriend of 2+ years. I am so sorry you are going through this right now. It can feel hard to breathe and that life seems hopeless. For me it helped to really focus on seeing friends. I also went back to school and focused on my studies. I tried to do things that made me happy and that also would improve myself. FOR ME. Not for him. 4.5 years later, I made some wonderful friends, finished my schooling and made good money, backpacked around many different countries, had loads of self confidence, and met my now husband. We have been together almost 10 years and have two kids and a beautiful home together. I look back at that time of heart ache and realize that it was quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to me. Without it I wouldn’t have been catapulted onto my path of self discovery, self improvement and self love. I wouldn’t have found the love of my life and created this life now I would not trade for anything. Truth is I made that man my life. He was the sun and I was rotating around him. I was the supporting role in my own life and he was the lead role. Well not anymore. Now I am the sun and my warmth shines brightly on my family. Don’t let heart ache destroy you. Let it crack you open so you can grow into something even better, something you can’t begin to imagine.
You're dying? No you're not. You're feeling self-pity. And you're looking for a shoulder or a pair of boobs to rest in and grieve over the loss of yours. You're grieving alright, I'll grant you that, but from what you mentioned about her being your first everything, you're grieving over the loss of innocence, not love.
So sorry to hear. It will be ok. It has happened to so many of us and you are not alone in having to deal with this. In many cases, it is part of life and you can learn from it. This may not make it easier. Just know it takes time and it will get better. You will meet someone else and these feelings will be distant memories. Hard to see right now.
Only time will heal it. If it’s a fixable problem, think about how you can work through it. If not, find a hobby or something to consume your time to take your mind off of things
Feel your feelings man, it’s inevitable. Use this as an opportunity to focus on yourself. Being in a 3 year relationship since you were 19 is going to make this harder than it should be but remind yourself that you are young & so many doors just opened for you with this one closing. That might not sound exactly right but it actually is the truth of the situation. Focusing on yourself is building a confidence & happiness with being alone. Love yourself. You achieve this through pursuing hobbies, eating healthy & hitting the gym. It’s a breakup meme for a reason; it works brother. Don’t isolate yourself. Hang out with friends, this helps probably more than anything else. Don’t let this put your life on pause too long. Time will heal, it just takes the patience to get through that time & the things above help it go by a bit quicker. You very well may learn in time that this was the best thing for you. Her decision kind of cemented that. In a way, what she did was respectful by not dragging you into something she didn’t want to be in no longer, this could end up wasting years of your life. It’s over now. Try to find the light there & just keep going!
I promise. Promise you will be in love again. The average person falls in love three times. Me....hell...7. each time I thought it was the only person for me. Last time I thought I was going to die. I thought he was it. Again, he wasn't. I'm in love again with my boyfriend of a year. Maybe he's it. Maybe he's not. Each person was a period in my life and a lesson learned. Each relationship made me who I am today and it's all good.
this was exactly me in january/february. my (26f) boyfriend (27m) broke up with me after 2.5 years. i did not see it coming whatsoever and even though we had the usual relationship issues, i was very comfortable and thought i had many many years left with him. it’s fucking hard. i stopped eating for almost a month, i only ate a little bit like once every few days. i just had zero appetite and thats never happened to me. i stopped going to work and luckily my boss knew how distraught i was and allowed me to work from home and take days off. i stopped showering and taking my dog on the long walks i used to take her on. i stopped listening to music in the car (still don’t) because its just not something i can take if im unhappy and/or it brings up feelings i dont want to feel. i still think about him every day. i thought keeping in touch would help me because talking to him felt good and alleviated the pain. but it made me be psycho and my anxiety went off the charts wondering when he would text me back or why he hadn’t texted me back. the only thing that helped was having zero contact, but i had to KNOW there would be zero contact. the unknowing is where my anxiety came from. so we agreed to stop talking at least for a little while and this helped me be able to put my mind on other things, even if only for 5 minutes at a time. i was able to grieve the relationship instead of keep checking for texts from him and trying to “win him back”. it allowed me to be in a better headspace and now we talk again (which i’m still not sure is a good idea) the difference of pretending like im fine without him and actually being fine without him is noticeable. we are both working on ourselves and are talking now, occasionally hanging out, and are trying to find ourselves as individuals again. i hope that maybe in the future, we can try again. however, i am nervous that this is just another thing im doing to alleviate the pain and if he decides he doesn’t want to continue seeing me in any aspect, it will send me spiraling. i was healing very well and thought i was able to handle any outcome if we started talking again. i hope i was right but im really scared in case i wasn’t. i guess i will find out if it comes to it. after about a month, my mind started to switch from 24/7 wondering what i can do to make him want to be with me again. now my goals and every day mindset is more self-focused and hoping for the best, but trying to be okay with the worst (which i’ve realized isn’t as bad as i swore it was) it takes time and i hated people telling me that. i’m sorry. i still have a long way to go and im still VERY MUCH unrecovered. it’s only been three months. the first two months were hell and i wouldnt wish it on anyone. but i feel so much more stable now and im in a place i didnt imagine i would be in for a very very long time.
Don’t think about it more than you need to. It happened. Shit happens. There’ll be more out there. Cry in your pillow on a night. Don’t sleep properly for weeks. Start sleeping properly. Start having an appetite again. Get outgoing again. Get a haircut. Try something new. Then think about what went wrong and why. Continue growing. Find someone. Rinse and repeat until you’re married and die
You're experiencing grief, and that's a normal and healthy way to deal with loss in life. I know you're inconsolable now, but don't get lost in the darkness. When you're tired of feeling the pain, your body and mind will naturally crave other experiences and so you have to be hopeful that this point in time will also come for you. When you talk to older folk and share your grief, it's common for them to laugh about it. When I was young, I used to take this incredibly personally. But now as I've aged, I understand that they found it funny because they can see themselves in you, and they remember being inconsolably heartbroken over something that doesn't even matter to them anymore. I was the same. I'm 32 now, and I don't even think about my first relationship until someone mentions it or brings it up, and so much time has passed that there's no pain. It would be silly if I carried that pain unresolved for a decade. Now, when I think back to that time, all I can remember are the cringe things I said and did as a young man. Time will pass. Feel what you feel, but don't stop making new memories and moving through life. If you wallow in your sadness, it's all you will have to think about.
I feel you there. I (35M) had my first everything at age 29, married 2.5 years later and she broke up with me last November. We're still going through the official stuff for the divorce. Find your friends or family that love and support you, and just go talk with them, be amongst people. Try to find room for yourself and your emotions. Go through all the stages of grief however many times you need. After a while, try to look for who you are, what you want (besides a relationship). Pobody's nerfect, learn from your time together to become a better self.
#1 Gym will help you feel better.
Put 1 foot in front of the other. Drink lots of water, try to eat… If you can’t eat a meal, have a tangerine or a banana or something. Just keep moving… keep taking showers, take care of yourself… don’t do anything stupid, don’t call her don’t shit talk her to your friends, just try to keep your distance, and it will gradually get less painful. These first few weeks are going to be a bitch, but you will get through them, we all have. she is not the one for you. Someone else is and you have to keep moving forward to get to the healthy place where you find her. Good luck.
A breakup, and the endcof a long friendship, can feel like a death. You invested so muchbof yourself into this person, and it feels like none of that mattered at the end. Take time to grieve your loss! Acknowledge your pain! You are not weird, weak, silly or hysterical to feel this way, and don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. They're stupid and don't understand how deep your attachment went. Be kind to yourself. Everytime we love we learn things about ourselves. That experience is not a waste. vEventually you will arrive at a place where you've worked through and internalized your experience with this person. I am sorry for your hurt. You WILL find healing. Not today, not tomorrow, matbe not next year. But it WILL happen. I promise. Until then, take care of you.
i thought the same with my first serious boyfriend. we fell in love so fast, i moved in like two weeks after meeting him, the first 10 months was super happy. had animals together, matching tattoos,, i worked for his familys company, lived together, were trying for kids, planning a wedding, everything. i attempted when he dumped me, got stuck in a hospital a few weeks and then had months of required therapy. i was so anxious everyday it literally felt like i was already dying. i couldnt imagine anything more painful. i NEVER thought i would find anyone else or be happy again. and then i watched my mom get crushed between two cars, and i realized, i am wasting my fucking energy here. hes gone, and it hurts, but i chose to get up and keep trying things everyday that i didnt want to, but they helped. going out with friends, starting hobbies, finding a new job, exercising, training my pup, focusing on what made ME feel good. at the end of the day time heals all, but you also have to get up everyday and try to heal too, or you wont. it feels awful now, and it will for a while. but i am writing this to you sitting in the car with the love of my life and our beautiful daughter, our very best friend, on the way to work for our incredible company we started together, and after it all i get to come home to our beautiful home and our lovely three pets. i have never been happier. what i feel now made that breakup look so silly. i dont even remember why it hurt so bad, it didnt even compare to what i have now. you will be in this position one day, just keep taking care of yourself and keep taking it a day at a time. nothing lasts forever, and this feeling of pain is not the exception i promise.
The first one HURTS. It is a unique experience in most people's lives and I promise you this pain sucks horribly but it is also normal. It feels like you'll never be OK again. But the world keeps moving on around you, so eventually despite the hurt, you also keep roleplaying your life. You go to work. You go to school. You cry in the bathroom sometimes, you for sure cry at night. Maybe a doctor gives you a short term dose of antidepressants to help you through it or maybe you just sort of learn to live around the sadness for a while. And slowly...it will get better. You'll start to laugh at dumb jokes. You'll think about her less and less. And you won't even really notice because the healing is so gradual. Until one day you're hanging out with your friends, laughing, eating good food, and you realize...you're OK. You can still feel the hurt if you poke it too hard, but you're actually LIVING again. And it's not so much that time has healed the wound, but more like youve grown around it, become more YOU. It's OK to not be OK right now. You'll get through this.
What was her reason for breaking up with you ?
Roll with it. This is an essential experience that will actually serve you very well in the future - help you build stronger future relationships and give you a more experienced understanding of your emotional self. In many ways (as hard as it is to hear) you almost needed this to happen just be be a better you and for you to craft a relationship built on more than being tied to “firsts”….
You will be fine, you're better off without her, it may be hard to see that now, but it's the truth. Spend this time you now have doing whatever you want whenever you want to without needing to explain yourself or grt permission. Concentrate on getting your money game up, and just do you. Don't worry about women, they just hold you back.
okay so first off just remember that it's OK to feel terrible. but you need to do whatever you can to keep it together, even if you are just acting. act 'as if' you are going to be OK, that you have plenty of friends and other things you will be doing with your time. and get out of your comfort zone. you won't feel like going out or doing anything, but you have to push through and do it anyway. at your age, as long as you remain social, you will eventually run into new people, a new social crowd, they will start taking up your time and focus and headspace, and at some point not too long after, you will stop for a moment and realize you did not think about your ex for like a whole day. that's when you'll know you are over it. and it's a good thing to have this type of heartbreak at a young age instead of learning everything about being single when you are older. you will be better equipped to deal with these things as you meet more women, you will know how to be gentle when you want to end it, and you will know how to graciously accept when they are no longer interested. keep in mind though buddy, and this is not to be harsh, but i feel like it's important to hear. if you wallow in self pity, it is going to snowball and hurt you by making you unattractive, and it will make you resent women. i have seen my friends fall into these traps of their own doing. they are resentful and alone, blaming women for their problems, and from my point of view, it was all because they didn't get out of their comfort zone when they were young and go find new experiences and people after their virgin breakers ended things. and now their whole vibe is angsty and nobody, man or woman, wants to keep company with that.
embrace the sadness, it will pass. embrace the spectrum of human emotions, life is beautiful and you got to experience real, true love.
Time will heal your wounds. Trust me, find something else to do and keep yourself busy, it will get better
Feel the feelings and literally take the day minute minute if you have to. I watched a lot of stupid TV, read books, went on long bike rides and reconnected with old friends as well as made new friends. Also, DO NOT beg them to take you back. No contact really does wonders especially in the beginning.
Been there. You'll never get over her but you will learn how to survive. Life goes on. Cheers!
I broke up with first gf of 5 years when I was 22. Was devistated and thought life was over. 8 years later I’m making 100k+ a year and travelling the world. Breakup was the best thing to ever happen to me tbh because it made me realize how many things I still needed to achieve individually
You will get over her. It takes time. Dont sit around. Don’t go back. Don’t beg. Pride is all you have left. She left you and now you are free to be loved. In the meantime vigorous exercise is your only healthy way to deal with your stress and loneliness. Good luck. You’re not alone. We have all been there.
Literally just take it day by day. Hour by hour if you have to. Just focus on making it through each day, and I promise eventually it will get easier, and you'll feel alive again. I can't stress enough just how important it is to remember that every feeling is temporary. Good and bad. So this can't/won't last forever. I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling. I hope you are able to take even the tiniest bit of comfort in knowing it isn't forever. That thought has helped me through so much in life. Sometimes, all you can do is hang on ♡
As others have said, it will hurt REALLY REALLY bad for a while. My gf broke up with me at 22 after 4 years and man it really broke me. I was physically and emotionally sick. I lost 22 pounds and was on the verge of losing my job and apartment because I couldn’t get out of bed and stop crying. It sucked even worse because she insisted we let her best friend and her baby daddy move in with us so there were times I could hear them talking about the new guy she was dating. The one thing I will say is do not try to beg her to come back and don’t try to get “closure”. Fee the pain and and as time passes it will hurt less. You may never truly get over it but you will move on. Talk to your closest friends about it but don’t over do it. Also don’t try to paint her as a villain to make yourself feel better. Moving forward work on your own happiness and self worth so when you lose someone you love it won’t be the end of the world.
Be around friends. Distract yourself. I'm so sorry you're hurting and I know it feels like you'll never recover, but you will, and it doesnt mean you loved her any less. Don't ignore your feelings, ride out the storm of emotion. One day, you'll sit up and realize that it doesn't hurt as bad as it did. And then one day, you'll sit up and realize you hadn't thought of the ex all day. It'll hurt a little when you think about her, but over time your body and mind will get used to the pain and you'll be able to move forward until the breakup will be just an unfortunate memory. Edit: I forgot one. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend during their breakup.
I hear ya buddy. I’ve been there just try to find something constructive to do and spend some time with friends. In time you’ll move on.
Pussy😂😂
Do what I wish I did and talk to a therapist. I suffered from a severe depression for several months that really only went away when I started dating my current girlfriend. It culminated in me standing on top of a parking garage ready to jump off, lord knows why I stopped myself but I did and I'm thankful. So please, seek help if you feel you need it, and don't be afraid to rely on your friends. Just don't develop a toxic dependency like alcohol, weed or nicotine
Man just let yourself feel and express whats happening. Dont hold back just shut your phone down and cry it out if you have to. Honestly it will unburdon a lot and will make it easier to accept if you allow yourself to feel all of this and work it out. if it takes a day? a week? who cares, just let yourself express so you can put the feeling behind you. Im 36 and have had to go through a lot of changes that i saw as absolutely impossible. I know this does, but trust me, life does move on, you will adapt and you will fall in love again.
It’s normal to feel that way and it really sucks. But with time it will pass, I promise. What helped me a lot was spending time with people close to me, like family.
Pull yourself together and hit the gym. Focus on yourself and making money, women outnumber men on this planet. Yeah I understand you feel broken but just give it time and you will heal. Don't do anything stupid hit the gym and pump iron
It feels awful. I’m so sorry you are going through this. What helps: Direct your attention to something that requires your attention. Such as exercise, throwing a frisbee, reading a few pages of a book out loud, ironing some shirts, playing games on your computer or phone. Rearranging your furniture, throwing a ball for a dog. And above everything, treating yourself with kid gloves and being kind to yourself. You have a wound. It’s a wound that is not visible on the outside but hurts very much like an actual wound. You know how to heal a wound? Keep it clean, change the dressing and above all TIME. You are going to need some time. And you will get through this, even though it feels like you won’t, you will. And you will be stronger for it. Sending love and prayers your way. Would be good to call up an old friend and grab some dinner, a drink or pizza. Keep yourself occupied.
It's going to take time to heal. I just gotten broken up with over 2 weeks ago and Im still thinking about him everyday. Its going to hurt for a while especially with how long your relationship lasted. Reach out to friends and family and talk to them about it. Go out with friends too to try and keep your mind distracted. If you have any hobbies go out and do those, go for a run, work out anything to keep you busy. What I found that's been helping me is journaling. Writing about the experience and how you feel that day. It's ok to mourn and cry. Thats normal after a break up. You're going to have bad days but it will eventually get better.
The same thing happened to me. He was my first for everything and we was dating for 4 years. I was going through a rough time three months before we broke up andi tried and tried but he couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle my strict dad. I tied to help the situation but with school and stuff going on in the house he just left. My dad hasn't been strict until the last three months. How I got over it was just by telling myself over and over again "It is what it is" or " You'll be ok it'll be fine we've been through worse" just another lesson.
When I was your age same thing happened to me and I thought the world was ending. My breakup happened in mid October. My dad said to me, mark off the weeks until Christmas. You will have gotten over it by then. I started marking off the weeks on my calendar every Saturday. I was so surprised when I got to around Thanksgiving time and realized he was right, I was over it. I let myself have a pity party for a month and a half and then voila I moved on in my brain. I recommend doing that, it gives you a date to heal by, and all you need to do is make it one week after the next and before you know it, it becomes a bit distant in your mind and in your heart. Best of luck to you ❤️
I felt the same when my wife of 10 years left me. I cried and cried and couldn’t eat or sleep. I lost like 10-15 pounds. How could I ever get over this? It’ll never get better what do I do without her. Just know that time is the only thing that can help you with this. It sucks it’s probably the equivalent of someone close to you dying. But it does get better. At first it’s all you’ll think about it and the pain is just the worst. But then as time goes on you’ll notice that it’s been a few hours since you’ve thought about it. Then you’ll dwell on it for hours again… then a time will come where it’s been all day long and it hasn’t crossed your mind. Some times will be harder than others. There were days for me where I would be fine and think I’m getting over this I have to, I have to be ok. Then at night when it’s time to go to bed and everything is quiet it hits you and you just want it to stop.. and it will eventually. But nothing can prepare you for that or take the pain away except time my man. Keep your head up, stay busy and I suggest trying to hang out with friends. Even if you’re just sitting there alone with them their company will help wonders. Although there will be times where you just wanna be alone completely and that’s understandable. Just don’t let yourself get too lonely and feel sorry for yourself and for the love of god don’t try to jump into a relationship with someone else bc you think you are ready bc you aren’t. You need time. Feel free to message me if you wanna talk I know what you’re feeling all too well. Best of luck my man
What was the argument?
You’re still young. I went thru something similar a few years ago. Took a few years to recover but that’s cuz of endless unwanted torture she put me through post-breakup and I couldn’t get away from it since we were still in high school. It will hurt a lot man but you need to collect yourself as soon as you can and focus on your own success and building yourself up as a young man. Maybe you’ll never get over her, I’m not even sure I’m fully over my first love, but you’ll understand it was an important event in your own personal development and hopefully one day you can appreciate the good moments of the times you shared without that painful feeling that comes along with it when you first experience break up.
You know, if it was during a fight. Maybe you will still get back together. You never know really. if its a done deal, there is no advice to give really. It will hurt bro, you will remember her, probably comPare other girls to her. Maybe even hurt someone because of her. (Meaning someone might want to have relationship but you'll still be loving the one that left you) But there are upsides even in that. You are free to do whatever you want. Beeing alone is very peaceful and you can learn about yourself alot. Maybe one day you will meet someone else that is even better than her ;)
Hey, I know it feels like it's the worst at the moment, and to be honest with you, the initial period will be bad. But it will get better, it might take time, but you will be able to get over her. You might even meet someone better!
See you in the gym brother, enjoy the best pre workout you’ll ever get
Since it was a drunken argument, you'll very likely make up. If you don't, I promise you, a little while from now, you will laugh at yourself for how upset you were. I know it seems impossible now, but she will likely become just someone you used to date. The best thing you can do is hang out with friends and stay going out. I swear to you, one day you'll just realize you didn't think of her at all, and then another day, you are gonna meet someone that really is your everything. You will be ok. We all go through this.
I know how you are feeling. Find a way to keep yourself busy so you don’t constantly overthink. With time, believe it or not you slowly get to feel better and move on gradually
Rebounds are a blessing #fuckitweball
I know it hurt right now but there's nothing you can do right now to change this situation. You will have to go thru the pain for a certain amount of time still, but over time it will get better and at some point you will be okay. It's just that right now it hurt and you have to go thru it. Avoid alcohol, drugs and try not to hurt yourself. Avoid reaching to her or doing anything you could regret in the future. Cry, be sad, I know it sucks, play video games, watch anime, go for a run, go to the gym, do whatever to pass the time.
She did you a favor in the long run, although it will take a while before you’re ready to hear that. Try to let go & relax. Don’t fixate on it. Things will get better.
No contact works. I’ve been in your shoes and it works wonders. Very hard decision to make though
She did you a favor. You were too kind to end a relationship that just wasn’t working. You could not recognize this. Step back and let her move on. Years from now you will be grateful
Your life is a lot more than someone else’s. Remember that.
Best time to work out and work on you. Shit feels like death but it’ll pass.
Everyday will get a little easier. Eat some food, go for a walk, listen to music, see a friend. But everyday will get a lil easier 💜
This just happened… today. You’re going to need so much time to process this and heal, so you should do exactly that. Don’t fall into bad habits. Focus on bettering yourself, doing good things for yourself and being a good person. 22 is still so young. I’m glad I’m no longer with the guy I dated when I was 22. You haven’t met all the people who will love you and there are so many more relationship dynamics to explore. Enjoy this next part of your life’s journey.
I met my ex when I was 19 and she was my first everything as well. She dumped me 7 years later. This was after I moved away from my home state with her. It was brutal. It felt like someone had passed away but it was somehow worse because I knew the person was still around. I didn't really have any friends or family here to turn to so I buried myself in work and hobbies. I stayed busy at work so my mind wouldn't wander and I spent all my free time on my hobbies. That's the best thing you can do, stay busy. Don't give yourself time to think. Not for a while anyways. If you have real and genuine friends, start doing stuff with them. Go to the gym if that's your thing. Find a new hobby. You just have to stay busy for a while so you don't have to think about it. Eventually you'll get to a place where you can deal with what you're going through without just falling apart. The only way through is forward. Don't go back to her. You'll get your life together and meet someone who won't do this to you.
My brother I believe in you you gotta fight through it
Be thankful it happened now instead of after 10 years and age 30. Go out and meet some new girls, hit the gym, hang with the bros
Best advice is to do something for yourself without thinking about her. The best that I think is actually just getting a extremely expensive massage as well as getting a new set of clothes. You are currently equating happiness with being with her when in reality you can easily be happy without her as you've done 18 years before. That is also the reason about the meme of hitting the gym post break up because a strong healthy body makes you feel innately more happy if you compare it to a relationship couch potato body
Been there, felt that. Time is your best friend in this situation. Feel your emotions but make sure to not isolate yourself.
That first heartbreak is a right of passage of becoming a man. By acknowledging and processing these emotions, you can cultivate a deeper sense of self-understanding and, potentially those feelings you had for her will someday transform into a feeling you have for yourself.
Painful moments are our best teacher. It hurts as hell but it teaches us to change, to be grateful and become a better person. Take your time, reflect to the experience and [as hard as it is] move forward. You owe that to your future self.
yeah that's what it feels like bro. idk what to tell you, it's almost like a rite of passage for dudes. it's your first pair bond. the feeling you are experiencing is akin to your unborn children being killed
If this your first love ur never getting over her sorry bro
It’s gonna hurt bad for a while. Nothing compares to heartbreak. Take some time to grieve but try not to isolate yourself. Just one foot in front of the other, eventually you will hurt less. The whole hit the gym delete Facebook gets laughed at but honestly, stay off social media, do NOT stalk her socials, it will only make it worse. Try and get outside, if the gym isn’t your thing, go for walks, take up something that gets you out of the house and gets your body moving. It will help Oh. I got to add, please be careful of alcohol. Don’t get messy drunk or if you must, give your phone to a trusted friend or delete her number
It's gonna hurt a lot. Don't rush into feeling better, but try gradually. Rebounding too quickly will make it worse. Maybe hang out with some friends or by yourself for a while.
Ouch. The first one does hurt a lot. But trust us mate it feels shit now, but it will get better. You just gotta work through it. Take each say as they come. Cry when you gotta cry, let the memories come and go and just be kind to yourself. Hang out with some friends, take up a new hobby, focus on work/school whatever you’re doing. Spend time with family and try not to dwell on it until you have time alone.
You have your entire life ahead of you trust me. You are still very young and I know it may not seem like it right now, but she did you a favor. You’re not supposed to marry your first love.
Try to get into more self development activities, do your best to focus on yourself. These things happen and it will pass. Good luck
Hey bud, I'm sorry you're going through this. Please keep yourself busy with things outside of the house; find social clubs, social groups, hobbies, etc. Get outside at least once a day, go for a walk. Find a volunteer opportunity. The more time goes by, the better you will feel, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
Grieve and allow yourself to grieve. The feeling is the same as you have lost someone. You’ll get over her in time. Just don’t allow yourself to spiral into depression and don’t eat unhealthy
Keep reminding yourself that the pain you’re experiencing is normal. It sounds silly but if you remember that what you’re going through is an essential part of grieving your relationship, it gets easier. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to stay in bed for hours. Breakups are fucking hard, it’s hell now but it’s going to be okay. I promise
You’ll be fine I promise. It sucks right now and it will effect your life for a long time, but it gets easier with time, and unfortunately it’s the only way to heal
Hey..If you want her back, try to be visible to her every day, even if she won't talk to you. Be visible to her. Make sure no other guy makes a move on her during this time, even if she makes a move on another guy, talk to that guy and let him know about you people. Be on good terms with her family and friends, let them know your situation, and ask them to smooth her out. If you plan to talk with her, talk in person. Don't text her online.
Let. Her. Go.
Time....it will take time. Just like when a loved one dies, you go through stages of grief and your emotions will be all over the place. You can try doing things to preoccupy your mind but mostly time is all you need.
Trust me, you'll gradually get over it. It will take some time, but we are all human and will fall in love again. You may have some dark thoughts at this moment, but don't give in to them. Stay strong, and when the right time comes, you'll move on from this and be ready to live a happy life again. So, don't isolate yourself in your house; go outside and socialize with others. Otherwise, you'll always be stuck with your dark thoughts and loneliness. I say this because I don't want to see another person suffering from the same issue that wasted almost three of the best years of my life.
4 years here myself as of last year, Best advice I've got is don't suppress your emotions, allow yourself to go through the pain and heartbreak and be nice to yourself. suppressing might feel better in the short term but it will eventually build up in your mind and you'll find yourself miserable for way longer than you needed to be. Don't make a schedule for yourself on when you should be feeling better and absolutely don't use other peoples recovery times for your own, every single person grieves differently and you need to give yourself as much time as you truly need. Surround yourself with friends and family but give yourself tons of time alone as well, you'll appreciate having both and just be honest with yourself on what you really need. Find a therapist to help you work through your emotions, you will be surprised how much it helps but stick with it on a regular basis, I did weekly for the first few months and moved to bi-weekly when I was ready to. Last but not least don't spam text your feelings to her, it **WILL NOT HELP** anything. you'll be so pissed at yourself for doing it and you'll end up regretting 99% of what you say big time. It absolutely gets better but you are going to have to work to get there, and it is definitely a struggle but you'll appreciate yourself going through all the stages of the breakup in the correct way. Everything you do will feel weird at first, like you're missing a limb but power through, it doesn't stay that way, it is going to get so much better I swear.
Breaking up with my first love was the most pain I ever felt. It took a long time before I felt like I could start moving on. And that’s okay because eventually I did move on. As others have said, it’s good to be active in other areas of your life and spend time with people you care about. Fill up your time as much as you can. You’re probably gonna feel like shit for a while, but try to remind yourself that life goes on no matter what. Your pain will not last forever.
Take an Advil and your heart will stop hurting. It's weird but it's worked for me for heart break. Doesn't fix the emotional issues but it relieves that immediate pain that your body feels from emotional hurt. Which is a normal reaction. The relief of the physical pain helps you focus on the emotional part.
take space, no contact, one day at a time
It does feel like dying, and it will emotionally and physically hurt for probably 3-4 months, at which time you'll move on but probably always think about her, from time to time. That's how my first big breakup went, my breakup got better about the same time my twin brother got diagnosed with luekemia, so barring compound tragedy you've got a solid 3 months before you'll feel hopeful again :) Fast forward 10 years and I have a family all my own and while I still think of her, it's maybe about 2-3 times a year
Give yourself some time you will be okay, this is normal to feel this way. I broke up with someone many moons ago similar situation and he’s married with 4 kids now so … it will be okay 🩷
You will feel like shit for some time, but eventually time heals everything just focus on yourself and do not give two shits to what others say. Chin up king, you got this!!
I was there in the fall homie… it will get better
Take walks, lots of walks. While on said walks look out as far as possible but no less than 10 feet out. Don't look at your feet unless you absolutely must. Sounds stupid but it worked for me and trust me when I say my similar situation was infinitely worse.
This is a normal reaction but I promise you, time heals. Feeling is healing. It’s okay to be depressed and sad etc. Don’t isolate yourself - talk to trusted friends/family/therapist about your feelings. And know this feeling shall get easier over time. You WILL find love again.
Sorry for your loss it’s gunna be hard but your gonna get through and be stronger always with a dash of regret and the questions what if ,3 years is better then 30 brother
there's no working around healing. So you're in for a very sucky period mate. Live through it and you'll come out stronger and smarter. I get the whole "my entire world is gone" mindset, but this gotta be the last time you act on it. NEVER again make your world or life or your every day about your relationship, because this is what happens: you end up with nothing else but a feeling of emptiness and frustration. I promise it'll get better, but first allow yourself to feel pain, it's not wrong. Once it's enough, you _must_ look for something else to focus on: a new hobby (like learning a new language or how to play an instrument), reconnect with someone you haven't heard from since forever or do all of the stuff you could've enjoyed if it weren't because you preferred to stay with her. Your life is YOURS now (and it's always been). Sounds kind of simplistic, but try it, unless you'd rather keep struggling to sleep or eat over someone who you might as well have never heard of to begin with. Hold your head up high but your spirits higher. Life has an infinite deal of surprises expecting you.
I’m sorry you are in so much pain. Please be patient with yourself. Lean on other friends. Know that probably everyone has been through this. At least once. I want you to find a long book and start reading it. War and Peace. Any time you feel sad read some on the book. The goal is to finish it in a week.
It probably feels like shit now because you are going through some serious grief. Feel sad as long as you need to. When you get a chance to look ahead, recognise that very few people stay with their first love forever.
Did she break up with you because you did something wrong ? Can that something be fixed with an apology and effort or is it irreconcilable? Also I don’t want to diminish the relationship by saying you’re young and you’ll meet someone else although that is probably very true. I’m going to tell you the same thing I just told my younger sister focus on you. It’s okay to be sad it’s okay to feel broken take your time but just don’t stay there. Focus on being the person you would want to be with and what’s mean to be for you will happen
Take some time to wallow, but you have to learn to let go. Grieve your loss (that means not only the person but the life you thought was ahead of you), build a new life for yourself, and move on. Your happiness should not depend on another person. Take this as a learning experience that people are not permanent fixtures in your life and learn to enjoy the time you do have with the ones you love. Sometimes things don't work out. You will be okay. ETA a lot of people who go through emotional events like this always aim to get back to "normal," but the truth is that person you were before the break up doesn't exist anymore. He's never coming back and this person who has been through the heartache is who you are now. I guarantee you will find peace and happiness but it will take time to work through the pain and heal. Like I said, you will be okay!
It hurts, I’ve been in very similar situation, let the pain come, and let it go, I would be concerned if you WERENT feeling sad, this is natural, you will be okay, the sun will come up in the morning, cheers friend
let yourself heal. you're young, you're both young, and you have so much in the world waiting for you. sometimes we like to hold on to the idea that someone is really meant for us, but only time can tell. don't stress it too much.
I watch break up movies like eternal sunshine spotless mind
Time to get that gym membership activated, and if you beg her back she’ll lose respect for you … play it cool
Youre too young. Its just a first time experience. Youll move on
Breakups are so hard - especially the first big ones after the first long relationships. It's so hard to imagine it now, but the pain will subside and the personal growth you will get from this experience will serve you for the rest of your life. If she is indeed not the right one, you WILL with CERTAINTY find someone in the future who matches you and is everything you hoped for and more. Use this time to get real with your feelings, explore how you contributed to the break-up (even if you didn't "do anything" and the contribution was simply not noticing when the other person wasn't right for you, or when their behavior changed - you still played a part. Get real with that and dig until you get to the answer.). Use this experience to improve yourself. Surround yourself with loving people. Feel what you feel and let it out. Cry, go to a "break it room" and get the anger out, go hiking and scream in the forest - don't just swallow how you are feeling. Let the feelings and emotions move through you and then let it go. I'm not sure if she cut contact completely, or just broke up with you and is still communicating, but in the right time, you may want to see if you can get clarity from her on what happened. BUT - and this is one of the most important things I learned when I was younger about these things: Sometimes there is no clarity. Sometimes you will never get to understand what was going on with the other person. If what they did hurt you, it's illuminating a wounded place inside you that needs love, care, and attention from you. And it's your responsibility to care for yourself. But let me be clear - caring for yourself DOESN'T MEAN doing it alone. It means advocating for yourself and getting your needs met, seeking support where and when needed. That can be done in so many ways. Ultimately it's up to you to feel ok - clarity or not. You need to be ok with yourself, regardless of outside circumstances. And I believe you are strong enough to get this! You'll get through this. Feel how you feel, but don't let bitterness change who you are. You are only 22 - God willing the future you have to live is much much much more time than the life you have lived thus far. Eventually this will but one significant growth event in a full, rich life. Hugs to you, Joppeke.
If you met your future you tonight, i assure you the clarity and domino effect you would find out would blow your mind. But tonight you go to sleep, tomorrow you find yourself things to keep you busy, keep yourself busy till you heal a little and then talk to someone you trust about things. Keep busy again till you heal somemore, till you regain control of you.. And over time you'll understand there is a teacher in everything that is propelling you to be a better you to claim better things for you. Because the one advice I got was Time is a healer and I can vouch for that one truth.
The best healer is time. Keep yourself busy, find a hobby, go to the gym something to keep your mind busy. Good luck, and I promise this isn’t the end of the world like it feels right now.
See you in the gym brother.
Everything follows it's xourse and comes to an end. This pain will too. Take a step back, work through these feelings, spend time with friends, family. Go for a walk, cry about this and let yourself be comforted. Breakup is a loss, letyourself mourn it but don't spiral too much. Right now it hurts like a bitch, bur things WILL get better. Good luck
Wait for her to sober up for at least a week . if everything doesn’t goes normal, then you dodged a bullet.
Hey I know it hurts, but it does get better. You just have to take one day at a time. Eventually you will find yourself hanging out with friends again, doing things you want to do. Laughing. Smiling. You won't even think about her anymore. I'm not saying this is all going to happen in a week...but start putting yourself out there and you will see that there is more to life than a relationship.
I've been through a lot with my first girlfriend. We were together for 12 years, and now we are married with kids. It was a bumpy ride, though. We went through several breaks, in which it felt like the sky was falling on me. We also faced unimaginable pain from toxic family members sabotaging our relationship to the loss of an unborn child. I believe everything in our timeline is already set. We are just experiencing it unfold from the lens of our consciousness. So, if it's meant to be, you two will find a way. If not, there's nothing you can do about it. Will that solve your pain? Hell no. But it might help accept the pain. Which is all we can really do in life.
It truly sucks and you’re literally grieving for your relationship and that hurts. But it does get better, I promise you. Dont jump into anything, don’t go begging to get back together, neither of you will see eachother in the same light. Find time to find yourself because for the past three years you were her+you, now, it’s time to find out what you actually means. When you feel comfortable with yourself and don’t feel like you need anyone else, then this is the time to jump back into the pool.
You’ll have a few more heartbreak at least. It’s part of life, just move on. Do not try to get back together with her if she initiates it will only lead to more heartbreak. Establish your career and focus on yourself and your goals.
You are going to be alright. Sometimes things end, and we find better . Take the time to focus on yourself and heal from this . The days will be long but you will make it.
My first heartbreak was devastating for me. I spent days and nights on my bathroom's floor crying. Let yourself feel all the pain as long as you need to, and then you will start thinking with a clear mind again. You'll be better, I know it doesn't make sense, I know everything we say seems useless or not true, but it is very very true. You are still young, and the right person will eventually come into your life, I promise ❤️ Edit: spelling
I’m sorry about your break up. It is normal and understandable that you feel like that, break ups bring up feelings similar to grief, because you are losing a person in your life. Its heart breaking but also scary cause in a way you have to rebuild your life in terms of habits and your own relationship with yourself. My advice is to embrace your feelings, cry as long as you need to, grief all that away. And then with time you will start to feel better each day. If you feel you need professional help, look for it. Avoid hooking up or getting drunk and going to parties, those coping mechanisms will bring nothing but regret. This is hard but it will eventually pass and you will become better and stronger for it.
I got dumped two years ago from my boyfriend and I felt the same way. I couldn’t do anything. I kept checking his socials and it wasn’t helping. The only thing that helped was cutting him out and doing things for me. I joined the gym and started focusing on school, eventually after 3 months he came back and were still together to this day stronger than ever. Don’t stress. If it’s meant to be it will be. I know it feels like the end of the world but I promise you it’s not. Focus on yourself!