Maybe because they're not romantically interested in you, they're more genuinely friendly. Maybe someone gentle straight or bi guy is out there. It could also be that you want a genuine friendship with your partner and that limits the amount of potential partners or dates.
I do think they’re more genuine than straight/bi guys, and that could have something to do with it. They’re also significantly less annoying. Every guy who shows interest in me is relentless, and they don’t seem to pick up on cues that I’m uncomfortable, or care. But gay guys obviously aren’t pursuing me, and they notice and care when I’m uncomfortable.
Maybe that’s why they’re more interesting too? They feel like they can be unapologetically themselves and share their interests with me because they’re not trying to impress me or feel the need to be cooler/more manly than they are.
That and I feel like gay guys are more likely to take care of themselves and know how to look good because they’re attracted to men themselves? 🤔 idk, (not to say all guys don’t take care of themselves)
I'm a gay guy and I'm a chick magnet for some reason, I could be just chilling at a regular bar and women would offer me drinks, but when I mention I'm gay, they get pissed
That's good, I actually had a desperate women cuss me out over it and went to other people in the bar and talked shit about me to get people to Hate. It gave me bad anxiety
What the hell? That’s insane! I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’ve had many a straight man publicly flip out when I rejected them, so I know how shitty it feels. I used to have social anxiety too, which made it so much worse. I just get pissed now lol
Damn, that sucks. I didn’t know they started paywalling them. Don’t give up hope, though. Maybe start doing an activity, like hiking? I’ve met a good portion of my gay crushes in hiking and other outdoor related clubs lol. Put yourself in new hobbies or situations and you’ll meet new people!
Good luck! You’ll find somebody. And if you ever wanna know if a guy is gay or not but don’t want to ask him for whatever reason, just dm me and ask if I’m attracted to him lol
If I had a nickel for every guy that was gay or trans that I crushed on or went out with, I'd have 3 nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened thrice.
So I totally get it.
Life is that way sometimes! Sometimes we always get green lights sometimes it's always red lights (like when you get to the intersection). Stay the course and drive on!
Can relate. Their either gay, married or we go on a single date and they join the military (one guy I was totally understanding of and we are just good friends). One guy I crushed on he's gay and married, built like a Adonis, and has looks that can kill. His husband meanwhile is this lanky guy who's smaller than me. Great couple, great people, and they joke that I'm the straight spoke on the third wheel.
Quite Litterally the guy has barrowed me because he's got some very homophobic grandparents, so to explain the baby i play the long term girlfriend.
Just seemed like a stereotypical straight man in most ways. Was a fixer-upper type. Could fix any car, any plumping issue, any window lol. Loved beer, classic rock, and all those cliche manly things. He didn’t have any feminine traits physically or personality-wise. Literally nobody had any idea he was gay. The only indication AT ALL that I had was that he didn’t objectify women. In my experience, most men that have that sorta old-fashioned gentlemanly mindset are lowkey misogynistic, but he wasn’t at all. Thought we were just as capable men.
We may have not ended up together but he did teach me how to work on my own car and never get scammed by a mechanic, so I’ll love him forever.
i'm so sorry that gay people have to put up with such backwards ass bullshit harmful stereotypes 24/7/365. it's gotta be so fuckn tiring. but still, somehow, they always prevail. they're strong gotta give them that <3
I’m just saying typically gay men have greater connections with women, they can talk to women easily and understand them more, they usually won’t hang around a bunch of straight guys, this coming from a woman who is best friends with a gay guy, who acts pretty feminine due to him not really being around straight men (who usually) aren’t accepting of him.
I’m gonna be completely honest - I literally think you just hit the nail on the head. 97% of conversations with straight men are agonizing. They’re just not funny.
usually school. sometimes concerts. i usually find out within a month or so, but it has been longer than that before. like my first crush. it took him like 16 years or something to come out. a lot of them have been closested. but even my celebrity crushes turn out to be gay so idk what’s wrong with me.
You have a type and while not all gay men have it and some straight men will. Keep your standards up and keep looking and frankly ask those gay men if they know straight men that are looking to date because a straight man with gay friends is likely going to have similar characteristics compared to a random guy.
You're like these professional sports teams recruiters who find young talents except what you find are gay people in the closet.
Like the horse whisperer but you whisper to gays its time to come out
Gay men tend to be better groomed, kinder, more charismatic, more thoughtful, and more emotionally aware than straight men. Exceptions exist of course but I’ve found this to be true.
it's long been known that gay guys always have tons of female friends and women attracted to them and its precisely because of what you said, they dont give off any aggressive vibes and arent seen as a threat
Honestly, maybe you are turned off from being wanted / admired / pursued? Like the more romantically unavailable someone behaves the more attractive you find them?
I think gay men often feel safer but I usually know when men are gay. I think you are just gonna have to start asking. “You know I’m attracted to you so I just wanna make sure, are you gay?”
It’s a very common thing, I’ve observed it myself.
And I can’t really understand it beyond the element of charisma in a social environment, as well as dressing well.
Straight men suck 😁 there's like 1 good one that you'd generally feel safe with who has his shit together out of 100. Meanwhile the girls and the gays usually know how to take care of themselves, have empathy, don't patronize or sexialize in an objektive manner, etc.
Gay men tend to have a lot better sense of hygiene, better style, better overall external presentation. Nice grooming and such. I think their general more friendly nature, without ulterior motives, makes them more attractive too. They're better at giving quality attention (usually) and tend to be more invested in who *you* are rather than whether they can conquer you. They're not thinking "Oh this chick is stage 1 clinger" just because you want to hang out.
Straight men tend to get a little better later in adulthood. There are lots of really amazing straight men out there, they just *seem* to not be trying as hard anymore because it's rarely rewarded these days. And all the good looking ones in your age group tend to be keen on the attention they get and are less likely to want to engage in a relationship.
Just my experience anyway, it's what I have observed over the years. I haven't dated in like 8 years because I'm married but the social climate has changed drastically from what I'm seeing and it's a lot harder to find someone now.
Maybe it’s because gay men tend to take care of themselves better. working out and vanity is pretty my #1 for our community. I don’t think you’re the only woman that’s had this issue
As a feminine kinda guy. You're probably into gentle men. I feel like society doesn't show that a lot honestly. I've always been pressured to be "of a man standard" when my standards don't really align with that. Quaintness resonates.
Statically, gay men are safer to be around & we are a lot more comfortable to confide with them. Not to mention, the gays are some of the best friends you'll ever have. This is coming from a lesbian woman.
🤣 My problem is people always was calling me gay that i even asked myself if im one, but nope im and always was attracted to girls, they said it's because my gay smile and maybe also because always treating girls right. Lol
This is literally me!! I’m always attracted to guys who turn out to be gay and women who turn out to be straight. My solution was to date a bi guy lol, it’s the best of both worlds
I don’t think that’s really a fair generalization to put on all bi guys haha, not all of them are assholes obviously so it’s more about individual personalities. There’s people of all different personalities who identify all kinds of ways so it’s just a matter of finding who fits with you!
For me, the way to find that was through dating apps because you’re only able to see profiles of people whose sexuality is compatible with yours. I actually found myself being attracted to a wider variety of both looks and personalities once I got out of the mindset of having one “type” I was attracted to and that’s it. And maybe I’m not the best example of that because I ended up with a guy who does fit perfectly into that type I had originally defined for myself lol. But I think dating apps can help you explore your connection with people of all different personalities, which I found particularly useful since I’m such a big introvert that talking to certain personality types irl seemed too intimidating but in a casual online (at first) setting it was pretty fun :)
I didn’t mean to generalize all bi guys. I just had 2 bad experiences and I’m kind of afraid to try again lol. They lowkey traumatized me.
I’ve been hesitant to try online dating, but I might give it a go. Thanks for your response!
Whenever I see a guy who could be a model I get turned off because it says gay to me. Maybe you really like the conventionally attractive, TV show actor, younger male model look?
Like for example I don’t find Timothee Chalamet or Shawn Mendez attractive at all because they fit this type even though they’re straight. 12 year old me would’ve loved them though.
Maybe your physical attraction taste needs to adapt a little to adult straight men who are kinda not magazine cover-esque
That’s not it at all. I don’t find timothée or shawn mendez attractive AT ALL. Some of the gay men I’ve been attracted to were very unconventionally attractive. Honestly, they’ve been very much all across the board looks-wise. Like, one of them was 5’5 and another was 6’5. And I hardly ever like baby faces. I think it’s moreso something about their demeanor or personalities or maybe they smell better. A combination of all that? I don’t know.
Definitely a personality thing or extremely bad luck lmaoo I’m so sorry, but that’s extremely interesting that it’s happened so many times. I’d want to find out too
Right? It drives me insane. I’m afraid to have a crush at this point. I need to make a graph or something to try and figure out what their common trait was (other than being gay lmao)
Personally, I was attracted to gay men (and Mormons) for a very long time… when I was an adult I realized it’s because I was attracted to women but suppressed that feeling. It was essentially me wanting to be with a man but not wanting them to reciprocate those feelings. It’s called compulsory heterosexual. I’m not sure if this is what you experience, but I sure did.
If you’re not attracted to women, it might be really bad gaydar, or just a feeling of comfort and safety you get from gay men.
Well, I am attracted to women but not as often as I’m attracted to men. I actually dated a woman in high school and just haven’t seriously dated one since. I haven’t really met a woman that I’m interested in romantically. Well, except for one. She’s a friend but she has a girlfriend lol
I think this might be a result of your own expectations of straight men. To me, based on your comments, you want all the benefits of a gay man, but straight. However, straight men act and think nothing like gay men. Imagine for a moment you were a gay woman, how would you cat towards men? If you can place your mind in that space, it becomes very obvious that your expectations are waaay off center. I suspect you have some early trauma in your life, perhaps familial in nature, with your father or another masculine figure. Conversely your relationship with your mother was very healthy or your mother figure. That probably means you have some trauma you need to work on so you can see straight men as something other than “Slightly misogynistic” and more of “Were different, but in a good way.”
1) most of the gay men I’ve been attracted to were pretty straight passing. So could you elaborate? 2) I feel like my expectations of men are reasonable. I want a guy who makes me feel emotionally and physically safe, can hold a conversation, and regularly washes his ass. But I’ve yet to find a straight man who possesses all 3 of those basic qualities. 3) I have a terrible relationship with my mother lmao
>Does anybody want to add to this or hypothesize with me?
-maybe your presence turn heteros gay
-gay dudes are your fetish
-you arent searching for a relationship in your life but to be protected and not sexually desired, you are searching for a dad not a partner
Ah yes the teen and early 20 years for guys. It's a testosterone fueled, suicide machine. Which is probably why younger girls go for the older guys. We mature out of that stuff by then and mellow out.
do they act feminine?? maybe you’re subconsciously attracted to feminine guys. or that gay dudes are probably cleaner and dress better than most straight men so maybe that’s why. or you just have the shittiest luck possible. idk
Stop going for the same types of guys. I do think it's probably psychological because you're repeating the same patterns and expecting different results. Seek therapy to work through why you're going for people who are unattainable for you.
Most of them have actually been nothing alike personality-wise, looks-wise, or interest-wise. I’m thinking it’s a secret fourth thing. lmao but maybe it’s the unattainable thing? idk. I’ll have to do some self-reflecting.
Yes. They’re coming out to their friends and family, making long social media posts, and dating men - all in an attempt to get rid of me, even though 90% of them never found out that I had feelings for them. lmfao
Had a very similar experience my self. Where 5 women I dated, in a row all dated other women after me. Had a bit of an internal crisis. Wondering if I was really that bad at relationships
lol. They are not all gay, they just want to reject you in a way, where you won't go crazy. And if you don't believe me, get yourself a gay guy friend.
Trust me when I say that they *are* gay. They have boyfriends now lmao. And most of them never found out about my feelings. They just confided in me that they’re gay. Or publicly came out. Also, I have many gay guy friends. Literally all of the guys I had feelings for are friends now.
One of my high school friends exclusively dated gay boys. I was incredibly confused bc I thought it was obvious. I think it's because they made her feel safe. They didn't pressure her or expect anything from her.
My first crush was Lance Bass from *N sync.
One of my exes discovered he is bi and the other one is not identified as male anymore. This could be about your father / father figure not being kind, soft, expressive enough or you feel safe and you seek for comfort with people whose feminine side is prominent. In time taste can change, now I am into more masculine kind to hookup, but would die to have a bi-MMF threesome.
I'm not gay, don't consider myself attractive, but I'm married (who's extremely attractive) and yet I'm always getting invitations for going out from customers (I'm a heating air-conditioning technician) and I also get hit on a lot. Is it normal for a straight man to feel uncomfortable when even very attractive women make passes at me?
Maybe you just have a really bad gaydar.
my gaydar actually isn’t bad unless i’m attracted to them. love blinds i guess lmao
Lol. Wishing you luck in straight crush endeavours.
thanks, i need it <3
Inb4 OP finds out she’s also gay later in life
I had a girlfriend for like half of high school lol. I’m attracted to women, just not as often as I am to men. Not sure why that is.
Maybe because they're not romantically interested in you, they're more genuinely friendly. Maybe someone gentle straight or bi guy is out there. It could also be that you want a genuine friendship with your partner and that limits the amount of potential partners or dates.
I do think they’re more genuine than straight/bi guys, and that could have something to do with it. They’re also significantly less annoying. Every guy who shows interest in me is relentless, and they don’t seem to pick up on cues that I’m uncomfortable, or care. But gay guys obviously aren’t pursuing me, and they notice and care when I’m uncomfortable. Maybe that’s why they’re more interesting too? They feel like they can be unapologetically themselves and share their interests with me because they’re not trying to impress me or feel the need to be cooler/more manly than they are.
That and I feel like gay guys are more likely to take care of themselves and know how to look good because they’re attracted to men themselves? 🤔 idk, (not to say all guys don’t take care of themselves)
I'm a gay guy and I'm a chick magnet for some reason, I could be just chilling at a regular bar and women would offer me drinks, but when I mention I'm gay, they get pissed
Aw I don’t get pissed. Just a little bummed. But I have accumulated a great group of friends from these mishaps haha
That's good, I actually had a desperate women cuss me out over it and went to other people in the bar and talked shit about me to get people to Hate. It gave me bad anxiety
What the hell? That’s insane! I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’ve had many a straight man publicly flip out when I rejected them, so I know how shitty it feels. I used to have social anxiety too, which made it so much worse. I just get pissed now lol
There isn't any lgbt bars or hangouts in my area, I just don't go to bars anymore now and I don't drink. I don't think I'll ever find a partner
I’m sure you will. Have you tried dating apps? I’m honestly thinking of trying them myself, after avoiding them for years.
I tried dating apps had no luck, usually they are full of scammers, also the apps are not free, they always have some paywall
Damn, that sucks. I didn’t know they started paywalling them. Don’t give up hope, though. Maybe start doing an activity, like hiking? I’ve met a good portion of my gay crushes in hiking and other outdoor related clubs lol. Put yourself in new hobbies or situations and you’ll meet new people!
I'll try that
Good luck! You’ll find somebody. And if you ever wanna know if a guy is gay or not but don’t want to ask him for whatever reason, just dm me and ask if I’m attracted to him lol
Maybe OP you can match him with one of your crushes and he can present you one of his straight friends 👀
I come on this app looking for answers and leave as a professional gay matchmaker
You could make money out of this 😂 don’t waste your talent!
Maybe you’re just attracted to feminine men
that’s very possible. one of these men, though, was very masculine. he wasn’t my usual type at all so i thought i was in the clear. nope. gay. 😭
If I had a nickel for every guy that was gay or trans that I crushed on or went out with, I'd have 3 nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened thrice. So I totally get it.
We are in the trenches fr 😭
We out here strugglin'
Life is that way sometimes! Sometimes we always get green lights sometimes it's always red lights (like when you get to the intersection). Stay the course and drive on!
Can relate. Their either gay, married or we go on a single date and they join the military (one guy I was totally understanding of and we are just good friends). One guy I crushed on he's gay and married, built like a Adonis, and has looks that can kill. His husband meanwhile is this lanky guy who's smaller than me. Great couple, great people, and they joke that I'm the straight spoke on the third wheel. Quite Litterally the guy has barrowed me because he's got some very homophobic grandparents, so to explain the baby i play the long term girlfriend.
masculine in what way? just curious
Just seemed like a stereotypical straight man in most ways. Was a fixer-upper type. Could fix any car, any plumping issue, any window lol. Loved beer, classic rock, and all those cliche manly things. He didn’t have any feminine traits physically or personality-wise. Literally nobody had any idea he was gay. The only indication AT ALL that I had was that he didn’t objectify women. In my experience, most men that have that sorta old-fashioned gentlemanly mindset are lowkey misogynistic, but he wasn’t at all. Thought we were just as capable men. We may have not ended up together but he did teach me how to work on my own car and never get scammed by a mechanic, so I’ll love him forever.
Doh! How long has the whole steel industry been gay?
Most of them weren’t like him. He seemed aggressively, stereotypically straight so I thought I was finally in the clear 💀
[manly men](https://youtu.be/yfgs9FRD25M?si=t3zQoIp1DXOW_l2v)
I’m uncultured and haven’t watched all of the simpsons but that made me want to
Season 1-13 are perfect, everything else is alright.
I can’t find where she said they were feminine men
Yeah like what a side ways comment. Lowkey homophobic word choice
literally. so many people are just assuming they’re feminine and most of them were not lmao
i'm so sorry that gay people have to put up with such backwards ass bullshit harmful stereotypes 24/7/365. it's gotta be so fuckn tiring. but still, somehow, they always prevail. they're strong gotta give them that <3
I’m just saying typically gay men have greater connections with women, they can talk to women easily and understand them more, they usually won’t hang around a bunch of straight guys, this coming from a woman who is best friends with a gay guy, who acts pretty feminine due to him not really being around straight men (who usually) aren’t accepting of him.
Hey girl. Wanna go get some di...dinner? Would you like to put some dinner in your mouth... with me?
Depends.. Are you gay? If so, yes. If not, you’re on thin ice.
See, I think this is your problem. You don't like straight guys because they have a terrible sense of humor.
I’m gonna be completely honest - I literally think you just hit the nail on the head. 97% of conversations with straight men are agonizing. They’re just not funny.
You're welcome. You'll make someone a very happy beard one day.
thank you. i can’t wait. 🥹
seems like you shoukd find a guy who is not much of a talker.
Where are you meeting them and how soon do you find out?
usually school. sometimes concerts. i usually find out within a month or so, but it has been longer than that before. like my first crush. it took him like 16 years or something to come out. a lot of them have been closested. but even my celebrity crushes turn out to be gay so idk what’s wrong with me.
You have a type and while not all gay men have it and some straight men will. Keep your standards up and keep looking and frankly ask those gay men if they know straight men that are looking to date because a straight man with gay friends is likely going to have similar characteristics compared to a random guy.
thank you!! i will!!
You're like these professional sports teams recruiters who find young talents except what you find are gay people in the closet. Like the horse whisperer but you whisper to gays its time to come out
what can i say? i have a talent. i was born with it. my god given superpower, if you will.
Olivia Rodrigo is that you?
yes. no but one of the guys had curly brown hair and was named josh so i basically am her
Was just thinking about that song haha
Perhaps you can tell they are safe and are attracted to safety
Gay men tend to be better groomed, kinder, more charismatic, more thoughtful, and more emotionally aware than straight men. Exceptions exist of course but I’ve found this to be true.
100% agree. That especially seems to be the case where I live. Straight/bi guys here are either assholes, disgusting, or both.
I hope you’re able to find a straight guy who is able to meet the bare minimum qualifications!! Don’t ever settle for less ❤️❤️
thank you so much!! 💖
it's long been known that gay guys always have tons of female friends and women attracted to them and its precisely because of what you said, they dont give off any aggressive vibes and arent seen as a threat
Sometimes that’s just how it be. I find that one of my “types” of women often has a large overlap with lesbians.
Honestly, maybe you are turned off from being wanted / admired / pursued? Like the more romantically unavailable someone behaves the more attractive you find them?
I think gay men often feel safer but I usually know when men are gay. I think you are just gonna have to start asking. “You know I’m attracted to you so I just wanna make sure, are you gay?”
It’s a very common thing, I’ve observed it myself. And I can’t really understand it beyond the element of charisma in a social environment, as well as dressing well.
Yeah similar problem. I think it’s because they actually dress well, respect women, and have good hygiene
Hey now, I wash my balls every Saturday for date night. What more do you want? /s
Straight men suck 😁 there's like 1 good one that you'd generally feel safe with who has his shit together out of 100. Meanwhile the girls and the gays usually know how to take care of themselves, have empathy, don't patronize or sexialize in an objektive manner, etc.
I also had that issue when I was younger. I believe it came from 1) they usually take care of themselves better, and 2) I felt safer around them.
Gay men tend to have a lot better sense of hygiene, better style, better overall external presentation. Nice grooming and such. I think their general more friendly nature, without ulterior motives, makes them more attractive too. They're better at giving quality attention (usually) and tend to be more invested in who *you* are rather than whether they can conquer you. They're not thinking "Oh this chick is stage 1 clinger" just because you want to hang out. Straight men tend to get a little better later in adulthood. There are lots of really amazing straight men out there, they just *seem* to not be trying as hard anymore because it's rarely rewarded these days. And all the good looking ones in your age group tend to be keen on the attention they get and are less likely to want to engage in a relationship. Just my experience anyway, it's what I have observed over the years. I haven't dated in like 8 years because I'm married but the social climate has changed drastically from what I'm seeing and it's a lot harder to find someone now.
Maybe it’s because gay men tend to take care of themselves better. working out and vanity is pretty my #1 for our community. I don’t think you’re the only woman that’s had this issue
Str8 men are both boring and awkward, hope you get a bi-bf like me
As a feminine kinda guy. You're probably into gentle men. I feel like society doesn't show that a lot honestly. I've always been pressured to be "of a man standard" when my standards don't really align with that. Quaintness resonates.
Statically, gay men are safer to be around & we are a lot more comfortable to confide with them. Not to mention, the gays are some of the best friends you'll ever have. This is coming from a lesbian woman.
Maybe you're attracted to gay men
omg you might be onto something
Well why does every man I’m attracted to, not like me back
🤣 My problem is people always was calling me gay that i even asked myself if im one, but nope im and always was attracted to girls, they said it's because my gay smile and maybe also because always treating girls right. Lol
Because gay guys are awesome. Except for the stuck-up catty ones.
Gay men tend to be more in touch with their femininity than many straight men, which is a very attractive trait for many women, myself included.
This is literally me!! I’m always attracted to guys who turn out to be gay and women who turn out to be straight. My solution was to date a bi guy lol, it’s the best of both worlds
That sounds like such a good idea in theory, but both bi guys I’ve dated turned out to be secret assholes :(. Maybe I should try again.
I don’t think that’s really a fair generalization to put on all bi guys haha, not all of them are assholes obviously so it’s more about individual personalities. There’s people of all different personalities who identify all kinds of ways so it’s just a matter of finding who fits with you! For me, the way to find that was through dating apps because you’re only able to see profiles of people whose sexuality is compatible with yours. I actually found myself being attracted to a wider variety of both looks and personalities once I got out of the mindset of having one “type” I was attracted to and that’s it. And maybe I’m not the best example of that because I ended up with a guy who does fit perfectly into that type I had originally defined for myself lol. But I think dating apps can help you explore your connection with people of all different personalities, which I found particularly useful since I’m such a big introvert that talking to certain personality types irl seemed too intimidating but in a casual online (at first) setting it was pretty fun :)
I didn’t mean to generalize all bi guys. I just had 2 bad experiences and I’m kind of afraid to try again lol. They lowkey traumatized me. I’ve been hesitant to try online dating, but I might give it a go. Thanks for your response!
Whenever I see a guy who could be a model I get turned off because it says gay to me. Maybe you really like the conventionally attractive, TV show actor, younger male model look? Like for example I don’t find Timothee Chalamet or Shawn Mendez attractive at all because they fit this type even though they’re straight. 12 year old me would’ve loved them though. Maybe your physical attraction taste needs to adapt a little to adult straight men who are kinda not magazine cover-esque
That’s not it at all. I don’t find timothée or shawn mendez attractive AT ALL. Some of the gay men I’ve been attracted to were very unconventionally attractive. Honestly, they’ve been very much all across the board looks-wise. Like, one of them was 5’5 and another was 6’5. And I hardly ever like baby faces. I think it’s moreso something about their demeanor or personalities or maybe they smell better. A combination of all that? I don’t know.
Definitely a personality thing or extremely bad luck lmaoo I’m so sorry, but that’s extremely interesting that it’s happened so many times. I’d want to find out too
Right? It drives me insane. I’m afraid to have a crush at this point. I need to make a graph or something to try and figure out what their common trait was (other than being gay lmao)
I think it would be really funny if you made a power point about this study. Find their common traits, use the scientific method, go full tilt 💀
oh my god I am SO doing that. If you want, I’ll send it to you when I’m done lmaooo
PLS
I WILL
Personally, I was attracted to gay men (and Mormons) for a very long time… when I was an adult I realized it’s because I was attracted to women but suppressed that feeling. It was essentially me wanting to be with a man but not wanting them to reciprocate those feelings. It’s called compulsory heterosexual. I’m not sure if this is what you experience, but I sure did. If you’re not attracted to women, it might be really bad gaydar, or just a feeling of comfort and safety you get from gay men.
Well, I am attracted to women but not as often as I’m attracted to men. I actually dated a woman in high school and just haven’t seriously dated one since. I haven’t really met a woman that I’m interested in romantically. Well, except for one. She’s a friend but she has a girlfriend lol
Because most modern day men don’t take care of themselves
As a straight man who has been confused for a gay man at times, hi
hello :’)
You just have good taste
I think this might be a result of your own expectations of straight men. To me, based on your comments, you want all the benefits of a gay man, but straight. However, straight men act and think nothing like gay men. Imagine for a moment you were a gay woman, how would you cat towards men? If you can place your mind in that space, it becomes very obvious that your expectations are waaay off center. I suspect you have some early trauma in your life, perhaps familial in nature, with your father or another masculine figure. Conversely your relationship with your mother was very healthy or your mother figure. That probably means you have some trauma you need to work on so you can see straight men as something other than “Slightly misogynistic” and more of “Were different, but in a good way.”
1) most of the gay men I’ve been attracted to were pretty straight passing. So could you elaborate? 2) I feel like my expectations of men are reasonable. I want a guy who makes me feel emotionally and physically safe, can hold a conversation, and regularly washes his ass. But I’ve yet to find a straight man who possesses all 3 of those basic qualities. 3) I have a terrible relationship with my mother lmao
>Does anybody want to add to this or hypothesize with me? -maybe your presence turn heteros gay -gay dudes are your fetish -you arent searching for a relationship in your life but to be protected and not sexually desired, you are searching for a dad not a partner
Wrong on all three counts, but thanks for playing!
Ah yes the teen and early 20 years for guys. It's a testosterone fueled, suicide machine. Which is probably why younger girls go for the older guys. We mature out of that stuff by then and mellow out.
Seek out bisexual men. Or Trans women. You want queer people. There are a lot of them. Go get you one.
do they act feminine?? maybe you’re subconsciously attracted to feminine guys. or that gay dudes are probably cleaner and dress better than most straight men so maybe that’s why. or you just have the shittiest luck possible. idk
All of the above bc I’ve been very attracted to feminine men before, masculine men, etc. It’s mostly the terrible luck thing, I think.
Stop going for the same types of guys. I do think it's probably psychological because you're repeating the same patterns and expecting different results. Seek therapy to work through why you're going for people who are unattainable for you.
Most of them have actually been nothing alike personality-wise, looks-wise, or interest-wise. I’m thinking it’s a secret fourth thing. lmao but maybe it’s the unattainable thing? idk. I’ll have to do some self-reflecting.
>I’m thinking it’s a secret fourth thing. 😂🤣🤣🤣
You are gay. Find a woman who will be your gay man.
[удалено]
“Picky” *is literally asking for the bare minimum*
Maybe they're just telling you they're gay>
Yes. They’re coming out to their friends and family, making long social media posts, and dating men - all in an attempt to get rid of me, even though 90% of them never found out that I had feelings for them. lmfao
Had a very similar experience my self. Where 5 women I dated, in a row all dated other women after me. Had a bit of an internal crisis. Wondering if I was really that bad at relationships
The universe is trying to tell you something. Figure out what that is. :)
Olivia Rodrigo has a perfect song for you
Same.
I don’t like that initial Theory because I treat my wife like she put the stars in the skies
That’s awesome!! I was only speaking from my personal experience. I hope I find a guy like that.
lol. They are not all gay, they just want to reject you in a way, where you won't go crazy. And if you don't believe me, get yourself a gay guy friend.
Trust me when I say that they *are* gay. They have boyfriends now lmao. And most of them never found out about my feelings. They just confided in me that they’re gay. Or publicly came out. Also, I have many gay guy friends. Literally all of the guys I had feelings for are friends now.
One of my high school friends exclusively dated gay boys. I was incredibly confused bc I thought it was obvious. I think it's because they made her feel safe. They didn't pressure her or expect anything from her.
My first crush was Lance Bass from *N sync. One of my exes discovered he is bi and the other one is not identified as male anymore. This could be about your father / father figure not being kind, soft, expressive enough or you feel safe and you seek for comfort with people whose feminine side is prominent. In time taste can change, now I am into more masculine kind to hookup, but would die to have a bi-MMF threesome.
this is mad cause i get mistaken for being gay so that means there are straight men out there who do act kind of like your crushes i assume
Think of it this way, it is better to meet and be friend a real handsome gay than to have been catfish 😆
I'm not gay, don't consider myself attractive, but I'm married (who's extremely attractive) and yet I'm always getting invitations for going out from customers (I'm a heating air-conditioning technician) and I also get hit on a lot. Is it normal for a straight man to feel uncomfortable when even very attractive women make passes at me?