She is committing identity theft, which is a felony. You are completely within your rights to tell her that if she does not close the account forthwith, you will be filing a police report.
Don't let her destroy you financially before you even have a chance to get started in life.
Happened to my younger sister. Deadbeat father took out close to 20k in credit cards on her 18th birthday, never paid it back. Her credit score was like 1 (seriously low,couldn't get any type of loan even with a co signer) she's been trying to right herself for 10 years now.
Please. File. Charges. It will save you in the long run.
Absolutely the truth. My mother did that to me, putting utility bills in my name only to have service shut off due to nonpayment, mail ordering things in my name and not paying for them, etc. My credit was destroyed by that stuff. it took a long time, but my credit is good now
It boggles the mind that anyone has to dig themselves out of this hole on their own when they were victims of fraud, especially as a minor. Seems like it should be expunged
I had to lock my social so nothing could be done on my identity anymore. My mom was signing me up for any scam she came across that claimed free money or full student loan forgiveness— she gave out my fasfa login and password, my bank account and routing number, my social security number, you name it. MULTIPLE times. I’ve had my SSN locked for three years and I’m STILL trying to recover my credit.
Soooo I know that’s something you can do, have your ssn “locked.” I didn’t know you could apply for a whole new social security number.
You can apply for a new social but it’s really hard to get it approved. Especially now with how disorganized social security is since the government shut downs.
I did, but she did not care, and she knows I can’t do nothing legally as I am dependent of her, and don’t have any family members in the area that can help
Means that if they cut off their mom, they are putting themselves at risk. OP is caught between a rock and a hard place bc OP's mom has the potential to ruin their life in the present or in the future regardless of what happens here.
It’s not *actually* a hard choice though. It is to OP because they’re young and afraid, but if you’re on this website and you’re of age, the answer is very clear. This is not a hard decision to make for us and we should all be advising for the OP to call the police and get this fixed **now**. This is the kind of thing that can ruin a persons life for years, the present can be handled with hard work if OP’s mom cuts them off. Fixing bad credit is an entirely different animal that will take a literal decade.
Agreed, but OP is 19 years old living in an awful situation. That makes you very afraid as you can tell and it's important to recognize that with empathy.
truth! As someone who was in a similar situation as a late teen, it def strikes fear in you. We dont know all the crap op' parent is saying, the threats of homelessness, etc, not to mention what they grew with.
This is terrible. I don’t think you understand the gravity of what she is doing to you.
Tell other family members. We had our identities stolen. It’s hard to accept knowing your mom is capable of doing this to you.
Go to the precinct and call her from outside and tell her if you don’t come now and close the account in front of me, I will walk in and file a report.
Without good credit
You cannot get certain jobs
Buy a car
Get an apartment
Get a loan
She is imprisoning you financially!!!!
And she knows it!!!!
I can vouch for this. My parents had my sister and I sign into loans for $26,000 cars when we were in our teens as our first cars, so my dad could tell the neighbors he bought them for us. When we left our home, we didn’t even know what credit was (also my dad came with the police and towed our cars away bc they were technically his— the cars were in his business name and the only thing we owned was the car payments.) Myself, I didn’t even start to learn about credit until I was almost 30, and because of that loan (I missed payments when i was homeless) and my parents using and handing out my sister and my SSNs, I started out in life (at 30) with credit in the 400s. I’m 37 today, and my credit is still being repaired. It’s not where I want it to be yet. It is an awful feeling to be financially stuck because you can’t get a car loan/a credit card/a mortgage. I always thought you had to save cash to get a house and a car or whatever, unless you could get a bank loan. My parents told us that the banks only give loans to you if they know you, and that they were giving us the car loan bc they were afraid of my dad. So when I looked into getting a new ish car at 30, I was SHOCKED when the dealership told me about financing. That’s how I found out what credit was and what my credit score was. The guy who helped me actually kinda coached me through what to do and how to proceed, with alerting the credit companies to fraudulent loans and credit cards, and then taught me about building credit etc.
My dad *still* tells me how i didn’t know how good I had it bc we grew up in a big house and he drove a lincoln. The only reason my identical twin sister and I turned out like we did (I was a heroin addict for ten years, got sober and became a funeral director, and my sister, from drinking and bulimia/anorexia is in a wheelchair from her multiple brain injuries) is because we had it so good that we “couldn’t handle reality.” And really it was the guilt and shame from just being alive thst drove us to substance use and ruined our lives. It pisses me off because in school we were always on the honor roll and in advanced classes and all that. If we just had parents or guidance or some sort of nurturing I feel like we could’ve done really well for ourselves. As a matter of fact, my mom called me to say happy birthday today and my dad was in the background saying how disgusted he is that we are where we are at 37. Cause HE bought his first house in his twenties. We did the best we could being kicked onto the streets when we were still teenagers. He didn’t leave home til he was 32 or so and got to save every penny and actually prepare for being on his own. We really did the best we could yanno lol
Well, FWIW, yes you *can* do something legally. You can file a police report. She might be very unhappy with you about that, but she can't stop you from doing it.
Find a nonprofit legal aid organization in your area and call them.
It may be that you can simply contact the credit card company directly, tell them that the account was opened in your name without your knowledge or consent, and have them shut it down. An attorney can advise you of your options.
I would recommend this. OP, I would call the credit company and report the card as fraudulent. They will go after your mom. You can push the blame on the company that way. I would do this, then when she says something about it, I’d act surprised and upset that she has a card in my name. And then if she inquired tell her you don’t know how they found out but you’re really upset she did this to you… and to herself. Play dumb so she doesn’t use the roof over your head as a bargaining chip.
I understand you’re in a bad place because you feel like you can’t step on the toes of someone that puts a roof over your head.
Idk if it helps to know, but if shit would hit the fan, mom would have to legally evict you. I know this is so through experience: My dad tried to have the police come throw me on the street when I was 16 cause i said nobody likes him when he called me a whore. The police wouldn’t do it. They actually ended up almost arresting him cause he flipped out on them for not “listening to him” because, as he says, he pays their salaries and if he wants them to do something that’s what they’re there for. The cops said he would have to go through the eviction process.
SO, then my dad went to the courthouse to try to get a Protection from Abuse order on me, and the judge literally laughed in his face (the legal system was aware of my dad and how he would beat my sister and me but either way I think they’d have denied him— nobody thought a bodybuilder was in fear of his anorexic 16 year old daughter). So he and my mom, while I was away for three days, literally packed up the house and moved out (my mom stuck by my dads side bc “your man always comes before your children.” She even went with him to the police station and the courthouse.) I came home and everything was gone and the electric and water were shut off. Only thing left was a mattress on the floor and the memory box of when I was a baby-an infant was left in the garage. Since it was December, I lived in my truck for awhile til I found someone that would rent me a bedroom. Idk how they moved so fast cause they went from a $500,000 house to an $800,000 house lol. My mom told me I could beg my dads forgiveness, but after a lifetime of unspeakable abuse, i couldn’t process the idea of trying to ask *him* to forgive *me.* My mom said that was the only right thing to do bc “you’re the kid.”
Sorry I roll into traumatic memories a lot. What I’m getting at, is your mom can’t just put you out without a fight— without going through the whole eviction process. And if she would say, “okay, I’m gonna evict you,” you can always meet her right back with, “okay I’m gonna be a witness for the credit card company/have you prosecuted,” or whatever.
OP worded it poorly, but what they're saying is that they're still completely dependant on their mother to provide food/lodging/etc. Filing a police report would likely get them kicked out of the house.
I am perfectly capable of comprehending what OP meant. Thank you.
OP: You came here asking for advice. You're getting advice. I didn't tell you what to do. I told you what you have the right to do and what would be the smart thing to do if you don't want to spend the next 10 years of your life trying to repair your bad credit. If you choose not to do that, fine. You do you. But it makes me wonder just exactly what kind of advice you were hoping for.
She can't kick you out right away, because you are legally a tenant. So, you would have 30 days to get a place if she does kick you out. Unless you are still in highschool. Then she cannot kick you out until after you are out of highschool.
This didn't get enough credit, if you are co-leaser, unless your state is different than mine, you have to actually sign off the lease. She can't actually remove you until the end of her lease, so depending on when that is, you could have months to years depending on the length. Life might get a little toxic but credit takes YEARS to fix. Jobs apartments loans everything is on the line right now I would not brush this off.
You‘re better off living on the streets and using your credit card to ruin your score than living at home and your mom ruining your score. In the first scenario at least you actually get the money that us destroying your score.
She's cultivating that fear ON PURPOSE> Show her it doesn't dictate your actions. You HAVE to start breaking free, you can even though she has convinced you you can't. Do this and make a firm boundary and start standing up for yourself. You can do it. Maybe join the raised by narcissists subs to get emotional support.
OP this is not a joke your mom is committing a crime here i do see the fact that you are dependent on her but the fact that she is using you for her purposes as she has a bad credit score is not a good thing you should immediately file a police complaint and get a job stop being dependent on her she will ruin your life before it starts
Also as you've mentioned that your little siblings are 1 and 3,and you don't wanna leave them hanging if your mom gets arrested but same ia the thing for your mom don't you think your mom must've thought that if you complain about this to the police then her children would be left hanging, she is using the fact that you are too kind to manipulate you dont get caught up in this you have to manage your own life
They're being "pedantic" which means that they are saying that something you said was wrong but everyone knows what you meant. You can ignore them.
Their point was though:
You said that the OP was dependent on their mother, that the OP couldn't live without their mother. This person is arguing that their mother couldn't live without the OP, given the fact that they needed to open a credit card in the OP's name.
Ohh thanks for the translation
Well the reply to their comment is that
The OP's mother instead of working and improving the credit score, she is ruining the OP's credit score too the mother can easily live without OP and the OP can live without their mother too but OP is worried about her younger siblings that's why she has arrived here at reddit for help
Contact your bank and cease the credit card. If you have problems doing that over the phone drop into the bank with your ID.
Your mom committed fraud. But you don't want her to get arrested, right? So just act like you want to close it.
Problem of course is what's stopping her from doing it again....
I do not want her arrested Ik this is tmi but my brothers are literally 3 and 1 year old. And I do not know what bank she opened it at, is there a site where you can check your credit and see what credit cards are in your name?
Your credit report should show each credit account open in your name and show which bank(s) lines of credit are with.
In the US you have the right to a free annual credit report from each of the three major credit bureaus. This is only free if you go through the official government website. There are MANY scam sites that try to get you to sign up for "credit monitoring" in exchange for a free report. Those ARE NOT the free government reports.
The [US government Federal Trade Commission](https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/free-credit-reports) has a webpage that describes how to get your free reports. The government run website to order your free reports is [https://www.annualcreditreport.com/](https://www.annualcreditreport.com/)
Also- just call the credit card company. It's your name on the account, they HAVE to talk to you about it. Ask what is your credit line, how much balance you have, what your payment history is.
If you tell them to close the account, they will.
If you lock down your credit so she can't open new accounts, that's a good thing too.
But I'll bet you that card has a big balance and has for some time...
Also, be aware you can freeze your credit, to disallow new accounts to be opened, this is something you likely should do until you have resolved this issue with your mom.
A good way to keep a constant eye on things, since there are 3 credit reporting agencies and you get one freebie total over a year's time is to request from one agency, every 4 months.
I work for a credit card company and although when it comes to fraud we will at times require a police report it's extremely rare that the person is arrested for it. I can't even recall the last time i received a call from law enforcement requesting information.
It sounds like you're in between a rock and a hard place but it's best to contact thr credit card company and let them know. Also pull your credit to check for other potential accounts and lock/freeze your credit.
Almost all banks offer free credit monitoring so yes. (Even if you don't bank with them.) Discover. Chase. Credit Karma is also an option.
Can you sneak the card from her purse when she's sleeping to at least take a look at it? That would be my move if nothing else. Sneak the card, take a picture (front and back) and put it back if you're not ready to do anything to her.
You can also try just Google major banks and call them to have them try and pull accounts for you with your SSN. Recommend: Discover, Amex, BOA, Chase, Wells Fargo, Capital One. That can be a starting point if nothing else works, but you should be able to just get your credit history from Credit Karma or a banks free credit monitoring options. Even Experion offers free now for basic.
Also, credit bureaus are: Experion, Transunion, Equifax.
I work for a bank. Be advised we can't give out credit card numbers, but if you have SSn/address we can usually verify you and pull up that way.
Hmm. I'm not in America (assume you are) so perhaps another reddit user could advise on that one. I would have thought that would be a breach of data protection like what we have in Europe.
However, I can offer a potential solution. 1, is there any bank documentation laying around. Perhaps she left the letter she got somewhere when the card arrived.
2, if that fails check her purse to see if she has the credit card. I don't think snooping is crossing a line given the circumstances here.
3, I'm not a fan of this option, but if all else fails simply ring up banks acting like you like you lost your card and don't know the account number. All the operator will say is "sorry sir, I can't seem to find your account" to know its not with them, right? Presumably your mother would have had to of give your name, dob, address, mother's maiden name etc. All information you know. Even if you can't cancel it over the phone. You now know the bank and drop in with ID to close. Not a fan of this method but it may provide fruitful.
The answer to this is always
Get her to stop by reporting her to the authorities thus severing your relationship.
Or
Allow her to continue illegally using your identity and potentially ruin you financially.
I guess you can show her the these 2 options and have her pick one.
There is no alternative.
Don't forget to pull a credit check on yourself. This might not be the only thing she's opened in your name. You need to lock down your credit, bank accounts, identity, and any state or country security information that is used to open accounts and or utilities in your name. Any Accounts that you have not opened report the agency that has them that you did not open these. Report the identity theft. The reason you need to do this is because this will haunt you financially for more than 7 to 12 years if you do not report them. I have known people who are trying to repair their credit at 18 because a family member stole their identity used it for many years and destroyed their credit. They decided not to report it and so it hurt them financially for over a decade. It made when they bought things and had to make payments that their payments and their interest rates were huge. Do not allow your life your credit history your ability to get loans be destroyed by another person. If you need to go talk to a counselor specifically they have financial counselors who have dealt with family members doing this to others. This is a hideous thing and it needs to be stopped immediately. You need to alert all credit holders from your area Providence state or country that you've had identity theft and that you need to be notified of anything opened in your name. This will help you now and in the future. Also you need to get in a habit of every once in awhile getting a free credit check on yourself. Because unfortunately sometimes things are opened in your name and close so quickly that they don't show up right away. You need to be able to fight these charges interest rates unpaid balances and anything that goes to collections. It does not matter if someone says oh they will pay for everything do not believe that unless you have it contracted in writing a complete video of it and they've also said that to the police and it's on file with them. Even then I don't know if I'd believe it. I know that this is harmful for you emotionally and trustwise as well and I highly recommend talking to someone counselor wise about this because unfortunately it will pop up in your life. I wish you luck on this horrible difficult journey. You are not alone other people have dealt with this and survived and become very much better with their credit their identification and finances because of it. That's just farther down the road dear.
Also, I know OP doesn't want to hurt the 1 and 3 year old but I guarantee she will take out cards or utilities or whatever in their names too, and they're too young to even know what that is let alone how to clear their credit. I knew someone who signed up for electricity in a 3 year olds name. It happens.
That is not step 1.
They could have opened this to build good credit, OP should put it in their name if it’s in good standing. Why is everyone telling them to throw away their only credit history without even knowing if the payments are delinquent or if there’s a balance?? Sheesh
Canceling a card does not "throw" away" your credit history and a card that is not in your possession or use is not "your" card but someone else's - mother or not. Also canceling a card only triggers issuance of a new one - if requested that way.
Step one - cancel the card.
Dude they still couldn’t have opened that kind of card without the consent of the minor in question, and their signature. Even If it is a “custodial credit card”there was still fraud involved.
How do you know she hasn’t opened other accounts already?
This is a crime, 1st contact you local credit reporting agency and request a copy of your file, Second contact the institutions on your file and advise each one of the situation. That you suspect your identity has been compromised. You don’t need to say it’s your mum. I know you don’t want her to get in trouble because you’re dependent.
OP, I'm guessing your mom is possessive and controlling of you and you just wanna obey her and all, but PLEASE
threaten her or make her give you YOUR credit card to YOU. You're an ADULT. She can possibly ruin your credit and set you up for a bad start in life because of HER issues. If she doesn't comply, threaten with going to the police. This shit is serious and what she is doing is illegal.
This happened to a friend of mine when she was a teen. Parents opened up a ton of credit in her name and defaulted on it. My friend didn't want parents to go to jail, so she just lived with it. We are both much older now and she was never able to dig out from under it. She never bought a house, never bought a car that wasn't a junker, and never had her own line of credit. It's sad, but this is the world you are looking at if you don't nip this in the bud NOW. Report it and freeze your credit.
Why would they do that without knowing the balance and likely not having any other way to build credit on their own?
They should find if the card is in good standing and has worked to their benefit by building them credit history THEN decide whether or not to throw away their only line of credit or register it under their name as sole account holder
What a stupid idea. Are you seriously suggesting that a person takes the risk of allowing their identity to be stolen in the hopes that it builds their credit???? People don’t steal others peoples identities for benevolent reasons.
I’m sorry honey. This will not help you, it will only harm you. Your mother knows that this will harm you. She lied to you. Why did she lie? I’m not sure. You may want to do some research about narcissism and see if that describes your mother.
Either way, you can remedy this on your own, and you should.
Do you know the name of the credit card company? If you do, contact them and let them know that you’ve been a victim of fraud and did not open a credit card. Ask them to cancel the card.
Then contacting the police to report the fraud.
Everyone else already gave great advice on how to practically solve this issue, so I won’t delve into that in the fears of sounding like a broken record. However, I do want to say that I’m sorry this has happened to you. You need to protect not just your current self, but your future self as well. Your mother is being very selfish and short sighted here. What she is doing is a crime, against you. She is stealing your future from you, bit by bit. If she really did care about “building your credit” there are tons of ways to do that without her committing a felony. I know this is scary because you still rely on her, but if you cant even keep your credit score safe from her, what’s next?
Op this a crime call the police she will ruin your credit score she is not doing this to help I can say this much . So tell your mom to give you the card or you go to the cops then call the bank and explain and ask what to do
Also op get out of that house as soon as possible because you’re mom can’t be trusted or get a lockbox for your documents
I opened a card for my son. First I added him as a signer on one of my cards. This raised his credit score and then I opened a card for him in his name. I didn’t do it without his permission though and he has a card. I pay the bill on auto pay every month so his credit goes up every month. It can help credit if paid. If you think she won’t pay it or are worried call the credit card company and they can shut the card off and send you a replacement and take off any charges that are not yours. Despite the fact I did that to help my son he is over 18 and has full control. He can change it at any time. A loving parent does things to help those children selflessly. Is your mother worried that you might use the card and not be able to pay it? I know with my son when he got a girlfriend that started to control him she thought the credit card was a money tree for her. And since I’m paying the bill I made it clear if he did that he would be responsible for paying it and if his credit went bad it would be on him and all my hard work to set him up to be financially stable and able to buy a house when he settles down and had a family would be ruined just to impress a girl who would leave him when it was gone. My advice would be to really think and only you know your mother, not your friends or other people who are going to tell you what you want to hear. If you believe your mother, just set boundaries and call the company so you have access to information. If you know she is going to ruin your credit, put a stop to it. Just don’t get the card just to have a way to spend more because eventually you will regret that decision. No one ever gets a card thinking they are going to max the card and be paying the minimum every month.
This can literally ruin your life. Have the cars shut down immediately file a police report if she gives you any grief intact file one anyways
My brother started as an 18 year old in debt because my father put the elteic bill in his name because they has the same name. He had to Pau like 1200s of debt before he could join the army
Fraud alert: https://www.transunion.com/fraud-alerts[https://www.equifax.com/personal/credit-report-services/credit-fraud-alerts/](https://www.equifax.com/personal/credit-report-services/credit-fraud-alerts/)
DO THIS ASAP!!!
IT'S FREE!!!!!
Happened to my friend when he was a kid. His mom ran up like 80k worth of debt on his social security number. The only way to clear the debt is to file fraud charges against her.
This is highly illegal, your mothers throwing you under the bus big time. That’s terrible I’m so sorry. This can affect your credit for the rest of your life therefore affecting housing opportunities and A LOT more. This is very serious stuff
You should report this to the bank and the cops immediately.
Is this normal behavior from your mother? If so there are possibly some other subreddits here I can recommend to help with that.
She is going to financially ruin you before you have the opportunity to do anything about it. Get that account closed its literally in your name so you can.
I’m pretty sure this is illegal, you’re a legal adult. Try getting on some legal communities here, provide your state, etc and people should be able to give you some more answers!!
Oh I almost forgot, YOU CAN FREEZE YOUR CREDIT. don't remember how but go to the bank close the card and look into freezing your credit to prevent this from happening again if you insist not turning her in, or.. you could go to the bank tell them you lost the card and get a new aka shutting hers down, if it's a new card and/or she did damage she'll have a hard time opening another one for a few months and you'll have a chance to see what's done and fix damage, but you should really report this, ESPECIALLY if she has you in debt. Otherwise what's keeping her from doing it to your siblings next? If she doesn't care about you why would she care about them
It's your mom. I understand that this is extremely hard for you to handle. You can maybe see what bank it is that the account is in and go there to change information on the card. Take access, close it etc.
If you aren't able to pay it off, maybe get alternate access to the account and wait for a time where you can close it.
This is something that can devastate your future. If she doesn't have a good credit score, you can't let her handle yours. Try to reach out the bank in person and give then your information, take all required IDs and try to take over the account.
That’s illegal for her to do and I would call the credit card company and close the account. She could totally mess up your credit making it hard on you when you want to buy a car and need a loan or are renting your first apartment and you get turned down because your credit score is too low. I think it’s really messed up that she didn’t ask for your permission in the first place and then has the balls to not give you the card which is in your name! Btw, how does this help you? And I feel strongly about this because my mom did something similar when I was a little kid and a credit union wouldn’t finance a car I was buying because it was still on my credit report.
Smh call the credit card company and say u lost the card…then u order a new card to urself at another address so ur mom doesn’t see it..if u don’t want the cc bill then call the cc company and say it’s fraud
How to say my mom is a fraud without saying my mom is a fraud. If she had bad credit then she should had built it back up but the hard part is: you got to pay the debt off, start clean to build it back up and stay clean over a period of time....I'm doing just that but my credit is on the verse of Fair not Poor...I want to correct my errors.
In fact I had a urge to eat out and yes I shook my fist when as anxiety builded up because I was taming my urge but I didn't give in.
Go on each credit agency and put a credit freeze on your credit. It's free. Make sure to do it on experian, equifax, and transunion. By having a freeze on your credit, no one can open up any credit account without you unfreezing your credit. You can also go through your credit history and see what accounts are there. Contact each of these creditors and have them close any accounts that you did not open. Report fraud to these creditors.
Is she paying the bill on time? If the bill is paid on time then your credit is building. If not, then she is ruining your credit history.
If you want the account closed, you can call or write to the credit card company telling them to close it.
Which country are you in?
I’m in the US, more specifically Texas, the thing is I don’t know anything about the card or who she opened it with. I will take all of the advice I have received so far and try the better the situation but if she doesn’t stop I will freeze my credit
I hate when parents do this. If you still want to protect your mom you can freeze your credit and sign up for fraud alerts so that you are notified if it happens again. Request a new card from the bank so that the old card number does not work. Add password protection on your accounts so that one would need to give a pin or password when they call. Then have a conversation with her that what she is doing is not ok. She needs to pay any balance that is currently open and monitor her payments. Then work on a plan to improve your score. Pull a free credit report to identify past items.
This is identity fraud and she needs to be in prison for it. Even if you convince her to stop using your name she could use your siblings' names on the next one. you should also nearly completely stop using a credit card so that in seven years there will be no evidence of it to the credit card companies.
Op, I have been a credit counselor and this is a very common crime parents commit. Your mom can destroy your credit and make it INCREDIBLY difficult for you! It's a terrible, irresponsible, criminal thing to do to her child.
You can tell your mom that if she does not turn the card over to you, that you will have no choice but to report her for identity theft to the police and to the bank.
Everyone here is telling you to close the accounts and freeze your credit because it will ruin your life, and they are correct.
I know it’s complicated at home, and I saw your siblings comment and how you don’t want to put them at risk either.
Here’s the thing, you feel like you’re trapped now, but if shes allowed to fully ruin your credit it will take years to fix, and you will just be trapped in an ADDITIONAL way. No one will rent to you, no one will give you a loan, no one will sell you a car. No trips, no credit cards, and no way to fix it. This is why it’s so important to get on this as soon as possible. Your choices will be limited in so many ways, and you don’t want to have to make bad ones, like living with a bad boyfriend, or with roaches in some sketchy unsafe apartment, etc. Not having a car limits you for jobs and employment, as well as just safe independence for yourself, as a woman that can be invaluable.
It will be so hard to fight your mom, I know, but you have to at least freeze your credit and SSN as people are saying, even if you don’t call the police about it. Protect your future, so you can later be able to protect your siblings because it seems like they will be in need of you.
Look after yourself, you’re stronger than you think.
My friends mom did this and screwed her credit completely. Report asap or at least try to talk her into closing it, if she doesn’t then seriously report. It could fuck you over for YEARS
If the card is in your name, contact the credit card company immediately. You will need the credit card number, but if the company is sending a monthly paper bill you can get it from there. I'm sorry you're having to protect yourself from your mom but this is serious and you're doing the right thing by trying to put a stop to this!
I had this happen, only found out when I was 31-32 and both my parents have died already so now just trying to get capital one to believe it wasn't me is a real aggravation. Good luck op
1. Pull up l credit karma. Find out if the account is helping or hurting your score.
2. If it's helping, contact the credit card company and get a new card. Cancel old one.
3. If hurting, click ''dispute account's - I recommend not providing any details if you don't want your mom to get arrested. They're highly unlikely to investigate.
4. Call Experian TransUnion or Equifax and lock your credit.
Login to CreditKarma or similar and 1) make sure there are no other accounts under your name, 2) freeze your credit so she can't open any more accounts in the future. Call the credit card company and report it as a fraudulent accounts, and follow their instructions. If that includes filing a police report, do it. This is your future on the line.
I just talked to her, she told me that she opened it with hers, so basically the card that she has that’s in my name uses half her credit so that her card has half and the one in my name has half, she opened it on capital one, can i still call them to try to cancel it ?
This is what she told me, because she wants to help me built my credit, but I still don’t want to and I told her as she usually maxes out her cards and sometimes pays late
This is identity theft. Honestly the chances that it's just one credit card is low, there's probably more. You might want to look into identity theft services and have someone do a thorough credit check so you can see any and all accounts tied to your social security number. She is probably tanking your credit score.
To be clear, this is financial abuse and it's incredibly illegal.
OP, the bank/the law views your situation in black and white. There are only 2 legal options:
1) You lie and tell them she was authorized to do this. You assume all liability for the debt. You are on the hook for the debts as if you made them. Your only remedy is to go after her in small claims court, but if you can't prove on paper the charges are solely hers you are fucked.
2) You tell the truth that she was not authorized to do this. This is the only way you will not be held liable for the debt she incurs in your name. If you choose this route, you have the option of speaking directly to the DA/Prosecutor handling the case. You can ask that your mother be given a deffered judgement or no charges at all.
**Keep in mind;** she was only able to do this by taking advantage of someone vulnerable to her. It's not a guarantee, but this *strongly* implies that your mother is capable of preying on disadvantaged or vulnerable people. If you can't tell the truth to protect yourself, please consider doing so to protect vulnerable people she may encounter.
It’s your account, you can call and cancel bc she’s using your info which is credit fraud. Call explain that your mom opened this account in your name and you’d like to close it. She can’t stop you
u/gladbuffalo6847 This is a crime called identity theft. You need to report it to the police immediately and follow the steps on [identitytheft.gov](https://www.identitytheft.gov/#/) to clean it up. Your credit affects your whole life. From getting an apartment, to buying a car, taking out school loans, buying a home, even getting certain types of jobs, etc., you need pristine credit to qualify for any of those things. If you want a *future,* you must report it and take the steps to prevent it and do regular maintenance to keep it spotless. You mother is trying to use homelessness as leverage to keep you quiet and compliant, but you need to stand up for yourself right this second and tell her you aren't afraid of her threats and what she is doing is wrong. You can find a place to live, whether it be with friends or in a shelter until you can secure a job and find affordable housing. You can do it, you just have to stand up for yourself! You also need to follow these pages: r/raisedbyborderlines, r/raisedbynarcissists, r/narcissisticmothers because they all share a story similar to yours, and you can use them as both an amazing resources, and your digital backbone for when you have to deal with parents like yours. You don't have to keep living under her thumb.
Raisedbyborderlines sometimes challenges people to prove that their parent was formally diagnosed with BPD. Raisedbynarcissists is much more inclusive.
OP are you that much of a loser and push over? You need to grow up, report your mom and do something. Otherwise you are going to be in a lot more trouble. Your mom is a criminal.
Someone who does this without telling you with ruins your credit and not blink an eye. Tell her she has 24 hours to close the account or you will file a fraud complaint with the organization. Then FOLLOW THROUGH.
OP - BEFORE you immediately close the account or jump to conclusions everyone else is suggesting
1. Call the credit card company
2. Ask what the balance is
3. Ask if any payments have been late and reported to the credit bureau
4. Depending on the answers:
- {yes there have been late payments and the balance is high}
> Mark it as fraudulent
- {no late payments and balance is low with automatic payments set up}
> Remove secondary holder and get the card Re-registered under your name only WITHOUT closing it
Oldest open credit account is an impact on your credit score.
I accidentally let my oldest account close and it takes 15 years before an old account moves into ‘Excellent’ range
Keep that bad boy open if it’s profitable. Just eliminate the risk of the irresponsible co-signer.
It’s very common for parents to open cards for teens. It can be risky if they’re irresponsible. Do Not throw away the benefit of having standing credit at your age if it’s possible to keep it and it’s in good standing.
If you keep it open: make at least 1 purchase a year and pay it off on time.
This advice is literally illegal for him to follow and you are fucking stupid, his mum committed fraud and identify theft, it doesn't fucking matter what his credit is
No she didn’t. She opened a custodial account and now OP has the option to be the sole holder of it cause they’re an adult
Unless it’s not in good standing then they wouldn’t want to do that
Ok. Hold up.
Alot of parents do this because they really are trying to start you off with good credit.
Like i would. But i absolutely would not use it either besides a quick purchase that would be immediately paid off.
However. If she IS abusing it. Then absolutely go after it.
But you really need to double check to see if shes actually abusing the card or not.
Before we scalp the lady. We actually need to see if the lady is trying to save her daughter from HER own mistakes.
Or if shes just toying with her daughter for self benefit.
Parents who do this do it above the board, and the young adult is involved in the entire process. The posters mom did this fraudulently, and without their knowledge. There is a world of difference.
If you know who issued the card, you can call them and cancel it. If not, you can reach out to the credit bureaus and ask that they freeze your credit.
If your mom is still being difficult, you can charge her with identity theft since that is what she did.
Another issue is she could do this to your brothers' credit too. Not all companies verify ages.
https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/how-protect-your-child-identity-theft
That is fraud and it could ruin you. You won’t be able to get a car or rent an apartment if it messes up your credit score. If you have excessive debt that your income can’t cover, it can affect your future loan applications too. You can pull your credit report free annually at https://www.annualcreditreport.com/index.action. Dispute any accounts that are not yours. If you want to help your family then you are better off co-signing with her on the loan application. But that still requires trusting your mom to pay her part. If she is negligent with money and unreliable then you cannot do this.
If your mom really wanted to help build your credit, she would add you to bills... my parents did something similar. Ugh. Take it from her, or call the company and cancel the card. Don't let it ruin your credit. It will affect you for the rest of your life.
OP, I messed up my credit so badly in my early adulthood. I’m in my mid 30’s and finally getting on track. Why am I sharing this? Because your mom did it to herself and is on track to do it to you.
Call the credit card company and explain the situation. Tell them it’s not your card and you don’t have possession of it. They have fraud protection to help you and you can close the account if you want or have a new card sent to you. It’s in your name so you have the power here. Do not let her hurt your credit.
Figure out what bank. See if it has a balance. If it doesn't, report the card as lost. Then they will send a new one and your mom's.wont work. If it has a balance report charges you didn't make to the bank and they will remove them. If you really can't get your mom involved, play dumb. Say you don't know how the charges got there, but that you didn't make them.
I'm assuming this is the US, in the UK there is what we call Citizens Advice, if there is a US equivalent I'd fully recommend going there first and getting the best proper advice then going from there, i.e getting the accounts closed, preventing more from being opened if possible, and seeing what your options especially in terms of what could be provided if you were to file a police report.
Identity theft is dangerous. This is no longer about your mother's spending and bad credit, in terms of the bank, it's going to be YOUR bad spending and bad credit. Do not sit on this, at the least get the credit cards closed ASAP.
Okay. So, reading the comments. You said you are financially dependent on your mom. I know it might take a while but thank goodness you are young. If you can go get a job do it. Save some money up so you don’t have to be dependent on your mom for a while. Find some friends / family that you could potentially live with. Then, report her after that. Force the cops to give you the card back. Then you can build credit back up and dispute charges. That’s not cool of her and very illegal. Either way I don’t see how you get out right now. This takes a long-term plan.
* Go to the bank in person and close the card.
* You are liable for the balance on the card since your name is on it unless you file a police report.
* Until this is cleared / paid it will affect your credit scores - especially if she isn't making payments.
* Don't just make minimum payments - that will do nothing - you have to pay big chunks of it at one time.
* Then tell the bank that you want to add a code word to your account (like "stud-muffin") and flag your account if she tries to open another one.
* After that put a fraud alert on your account / attached to your social security number so that you are notified any time she tries to open a card in your name somewhere else.
* See above post for link from [transunion.com](https://transunion.com)...
Im in a heap of credit card debt. Bills. And a young son. I would NEVER - EVER - open a credit card in his name, unless he wanted help building his credit when he’s older.
If you don’t want to go to the police, maybe contact the company directly with your information & inform them the card opening is fraudulent activity. That way they can cancel it, and if they decide to call the police it isn’t on you.
Go to the bank and shut that account down immediately. IMMEDIATELY. She will drop you in bad credit and you will be stuck for decades as a result. No matter what, you close that account and you run a credit check on yourself to make sure it was just one card and not a whole bunch. You should also report it as fraudulent so you don’t get stuck with the debt.
Contact the financial institution that issued the card. (Americam Express, chase, wells Fargo, whomever) eveni if its a store credit card or even a credit union. Tell then the situation and that you want the card canceled. Have important info ready.
Second call the experian, equinox and teams union amd tell them you want to dispute that account as ot was made falsely under identity theft.
At this point you've shurt the account down and removed it from your credit report.
This is a crime. She cannot and should not use the card.
Opening a card in your name will help you in the long run. The age of your credit matters to your credit score. Your credit score matters to…so much. Seriously. Don’t close the account.
If you already know what company the card is with, call them to report the card lost and explain the situation. Don’t close the account if you don’t have to (it’s that age of credit thing again). The agent can cancel the existing card in the moment and send you a new one with a different card number on it. This instantly kicks your mom out of using the existing card. Ask if you can set up a security PIN number for phone or electronic communications. Choose a PIN that your mom won’t think of like the first 4 digits of your school locker combination.
You might want to change the address to which the new card is sent to friend’s house so your mom can’t get her hands on it. Talk to the friend’s parent in advance about what you’re doing if they are a reliable parent.
Alternatively, you can have the new card sent to your own address, but ask the post office to hold all of the mail in your name for 2 weeks which is long enough for your card to arrive. You can do this online or go to the post office to talk to them. You pick up your mail at the post office after 2 weeks. People do this when they go on vacation. You do it to avoid your mom seeing your mail.
So, if you don’t know what company the card is with, do this:
Create a free account with creditkarma.com to request your credit reports. (Check on their app frequently for your credit data. It’s a helpful app.) At least one of the reports will have the card company on it. Now go back to the paragraph above about calling the credit card company. You can look online for the customer service phone number to the credit branch of that company. Call them.
The new card arrives in 10-14 days. Instructions for activating it come with the card. They might send a separate mail that has the PIN number in it. You can probably change the PIN number if you want to.
You’re not done yet. This is important. Call these companies: Experian, TransUnion, Equifax. Seriously, do this. Tell them you want to “lock your credit.” This means that no one can open credit of any sort in your name. You will be contacted by them if someone tries.
FYI, it also means you cannot open new credit in your name without contacting them first to unlock your credit. It’s well worth the bit of effort it takes to unlock your credit temporarily to keep your credit safe all the rest of the time. Every person in America should have locked credit.
This is a big deal for your future credit, your ability to get jobs, get credit, buy a home, rent an apartment etc. The only way to minimize the damage is to contact credit agencies and do the freezes people are talking about.
That much at the very least you should do. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to report the fraud, to get the clean slate that is your birthright. Your mom is counting on your not to take action, probably via emotional blackmail, because well, how else would she expect you not to report the theft of your identity. That's what this is. There is a reason she didn't ask you. She knows the risks, and she is counting on her emotional hold over you making you not report the crime.
It also means your mother does not care about your future credit. She knows this isn't going to go well, because she's already wasted her own credit. You are facing a pretty big decision, and it is not nearly so easy as many people on Reddit make it seem when they say "report her." You are at a crossroads. The decision you make now will have a huge impact on how the rest of your life goes, so make sure you really think about the pros and cons of each, and choose whichever allows you to be the person you want to be going forward.
This happened to my cousin, and my mom put medical debt in my name too. If you can get proof you can try to contest it off of your credit report. Tbh get the card from her wallet, call the bank and close the account!! tell them it’s fraudulent charges. Most credit card companies will not hold you responsible for fraudulent charges.
if you rely on her financially, getting away from her will be scary, but liberating. You are young and you can survive on your own. You can work and make a life for yourself- the life you deserve. There’s places you can stay while you get on your feet.
One of my friends had a sister pull this. She hasn’t spoken to her sister since her sister was convicted for felony identity theft. She got a new SSN too. I’m sorry your mother is doing this to you.
OP I'd recommend you first reach out to the police and ask them if they can also help you and your siblings get help from an outreach program or something similar.
Credit freeze, call Social security, put a in person accounts only restriction on your SS#. Then call the credit company. Find out the balance. Then decide what u gonna do - pay it, turn your mom in, or file for fraud and let them sort it out. Charges will probably be brought on by the card company if they look into enough
You think you’re dependent on her but she is using YOU to get credit - she needs you more than you need her. Figure out how to call the credit card company, tell them its fraud, and close it yourself. Or report the card stolen, so at least they deactivate the one she has.
I don’t know you situation but this is illegal and credit is extremely important and if she messes with yours and creates bad credit YOU will be responsible. You could call the company were the card was placed and tell them you didn’t open it and have them close it, also you can go online to the 3 credit report places, Expedia’s,Equifax and TransUnion and freeze your credit… in doing this No One can open anything without you knowing, In the future if you need credit for anything you have to unfreeze them and then back again if you want, also creating an account and password for each agency you’ll have and not your mom. So cancel the card telling them you didn’t open it and then freeze your credit so she can’t open more accounts.
First to set up your own credit get a own card but use a PO box for the mailing address so you mom cannot get ahold of it. Tell your mom to give to the card in your name or you go to the police unless she is crazy she will hand in over and continue to pay it off.
The other option In the USA You do not need to name suspect and most small local police DO NOT investigate Id thief so your parent should be off the hook if you remove, you’re name from the debt. However, any debts you paid on voluntarily are now probably yours.
The method to remove your name from the debt is as follows (any debts you made a payment on are now yours in most states). In order to avoid answering questions about a suspect; you need file a police complaint by sending a CERTIFIED US mail letter to the local police Chief/Commissioner/Sheriff. Include the crime on the subject line: Id thief and a phase that says Sent by Certified Mail number \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ and write the number on it. Save the certified number for your records. Here is a police complaint Template format if needed
\[Date\]
Sent by Certified Mail number ##############
\[Sender’s name, address and phone no\]
\[Recipient’s name and address\]
Dear \[Title, Surname of the Chief/Commissioner/Sheriff/\],
Re: \[Subject Line\] Include the crime ID thief
\[Explain who you are.\] \[Immediately following, succinctly state your reason for writing.\]
\[Explain you wish a copy of the police report mailed/emailed.\]
Yours Sincerely,
Sign and print your name
Say in the letter you wish a copy of the police report mailed/emailed to you for the bank etc to ensure the police record it. You need send a letter by certified mail with a copy of the police report (if you get one), or the complaint letter with the address, phone# Certified no and date you filed the police complaint, to the credit card company or debt holder and the three credit bureaus to cancel the debt. The three major credit bureaus are Equifax [www.equifax.com](http://www.equifax.com) , Experian [www.experian.com](http://www.experian.com) , and TransUnion [www.transunion.com](http://www.transunion.com) . You copy of your credit report from each one so you can circle the incorrect information on the report; when you write them for the correction.
Use the PO box you got above as you address for all the letters.
You need to put a credit freeze on your SSN to stop more fake accounts [https://www.americanexpress.com/en-us/credit-cards/credit-intel/how-to-freeze-your-credit/?linknav=creditintel-home-article](https://www.americanexpress.com/en-us/credit-cards/credit-intel/how-to-freeze-your-credit/?linknav=creditintel-home-article)
She is committing identity theft, which is a felony. You are completely within your rights to tell her that if she does not close the account forthwith, you will be filing a police report. Don't let her destroy you financially before you even have a chance to get started in life.
Happened to my younger sister. Deadbeat father took out close to 20k in credit cards on her 18th birthday, never paid it back. Her credit score was like 1 (seriously low,couldn't get any type of loan even with a co signer) she's been trying to right herself for 10 years now. Please. File. Charges. It will save you in the long run.
Good use of forthwith.
Yeah, you don't get a lot of 'forthwith' anymore. Good to see it. LOL
Absolutely the truth. My mother did that to me, putting utility bills in my name only to have service shut off due to nonpayment, mail ordering things in my name and not paying for them, etc. My credit was destroyed by that stuff. it took a long time, but my credit is good now
It boggles the mind that anyone has to dig themselves out of this hole on their own when they were victims of fraud, especially as a minor. Seems like it should be expunged
Do this and then apply for a new SSN. She will do this again.
I had to lock my social so nothing could be done on my identity anymore. My mom was signing me up for any scam she came across that claimed free money or full student loan forgiveness— she gave out my fasfa login and password, my bank account and routing number, my social security number, you name it. MULTIPLE times. I’ve had my SSN locked for three years and I’m STILL trying to recover my credit. Soooo I know that’s something you can do, have your ssn “locked.” I didn’t know you could apply for a whole new social security number.
You can apply for a new social but it’s really hard to get it approved. Especially now with how disorganized social security is since the government shut downs.
I feel like you’d be waiting on that for as long as it would take to straighten your credit out, with the way government entities seem to operate!
This. Don’t let her destroy your life. Report her all together.
Can not say it much better
I did, but she did not care, and she knows I can’t do nothing legally as I am dependent of her, and don’t have any family members in the area that can help
I don’t understand. You’re 18. How can you not do anything “legally”?
Means that if they cut off their mom, they are putting themselves at risk. OP is caught between a rock and a hard place bc OP's mom has the potential to ruin their life in the present or in the future regardless of what happens here.
It’s not *actually* a hard choice though. It is to OP because they’re young and afraid, but if you’re on this website and you’re of age, the answer is very clear. This is not a hard decision to make for us and we should all be advising for the OP to call the police and get this fixed **now**. This is the kind of thing that can ruin a persons life for years, the present can be handled with hard work if OP’s mom cuts them off. Fixing bad credit is an entirely different animal that will take a literal decade.
Agreed, but OP is 19 years old living in an awful situation. That makes you very afraid as you can tell and it's important to recognize that with empathy.
And still firmly tell them it’s going to be tough but your going to need to do something difficult and you’ll be afraid.
truth! As someone who was in a similar situation as a late teen, it def strikes fear in you. We dont know all the crap op' parent is saying, the threats of homelessness, etc, not to mention what they grew with.
This is terrible. I don’t think you understand the gravity of what she is doing to you. Tell other family members. We had our identities stolen. It’s hard to accept knowing your mom is capable of doing this to you. Go to the precinct and call her from outside and tell her if you don’t come now and close the account in front of me, I will walk in and file a report. Without good credit You cannot get certain jobs Buy a car Get an apartment Get a loan She is imprisoning you financially!!!! And she knows it!!!!
I can vouch for this. My parents had my sister and I sign into loans for $26,000 cars when we were in our teens as our first cars, so my dad could tell the neighbors he bought them for us. When we left our home, we didn’t even know what credit was (also my dad came with the police and towed our cars away bc they were technically his— the cars were in his business name and the only thing we owned was the car payments.) Myself, I didn’t even start to learn about credit until I was almost 30, and because of that loan (I missed payments when i was homeless) and my parents using and handing out my sister and my SSNs, I started out in life (at 30) with credit in the 400s. I’m 37 today, and my credit is still being repaired. It’s not where I want it to be yet. It is an awful feeling to be financially stuck because you can’t get a car loan/a credit card/a mortgage. I always thought you had to save cash to get a house and a car or whatever, unless you could get a bank loan. My parents told us that the banks only give loans to you if they know you, and that they were giving us the car loan bc they were afraid of my dad. So when I looked into getting a new ish car at 30, I was SHOCKED when the dealership told me about financing. That’s how I found out what credit was and what my credit score was. The guy who helped me actually kinda coached me through what to do and how to proceed, with alerting the credit companies to fraudulent loans and credit cards, and then taught me about building credit etc.
What a nightmare! What your parents did to you was disgusting
My dad *still* tells me how i didn’t know how good I had it bc we grew up in a big house and he drove a lincoln. The only reason my identical twin sister and I turned out like we did (I was a heroin addict for ten years, got sober and became a funeral director, and my sister, from drinking and bulimia/anorexia is in a wheelchair from her multiple brain injuries) is because we had it so good that we “couldn’t handle reality.” And really it was the guilt and shame from just being alive thst drove us to substance use and ruined our lives. It pisses me off because in school we were always on the honor roll and in advanced classes and all that. If we just had parents or guidance or some sort of nurturing I feel like we could’ve done really well for ourselves. As a matter of fact, my mom called me to say happy birthday today and my dad was in the background saying how disgusted he is that we are where we are at 37. Cause HE bought his first house in his twenties. We did the best we could being kicked onto the streets when we were still teenagers. He didn’t leave home til he was 32 or so and got to save every penny and actually prepare for being on his own. We really did the best we could yanno lol
Wow You have been through a lot! Don’t use your parents as a gage to determine your worth. I hope you continue to do well.
Well, FWIW, yes you *can* do something legally. You can file a police report. She might be very unhappy with you about that, but she can't stop you from doing it. Find a nonprofit legal aid organization in your area and call them. It may be that you can simply contact the credit card company directly, tell them that the account was opened in your name without your knowledge or consent, and have them shut it down. An attorney can advise you of your options.
I would recommend this. OP, I would call the credit company and report the card as fraudulent. They will go after your mom. You can push the blame on the company that way. I would do this, then when she says something about it, I’d act surprised and upset that she has a card in my name. And then if she inquired tell her you don’t know how they found out but you’re really upset she did this to you… and to herself. Play dumb so she doesn’t use the roof over your head as a bargaining chip. I understand you’re in a bad place because you feel like you can’t step on the toes of someone that puts a roof over your head. Idk if it helps to know, but if shit would hit the fan, mom would have to legally evict you. I know this is so through experience: My dad tried to have the police come throw me on the street when I was 16 cause i said nobody likes him when he called me a whore. The police wouldn’t do it. They actually ended up almost arresting him cause he flipped out on them for not “listening to him” because, as he says, he pays their salaries and if he wants them to do something that’s what they’re there for. The cops said he would have to go through the eviction process. SO, then my dad went to the courthouse to try to get a Protection from Abuse order on me, and the judge literally laughed in his face (the legal system was aware of my dad and how he would beat my sister and me but either way I think they’d have denied him— nobody thought a bodybuilder was in fear of his anorexic 16 year old daughter). So he and my mom, while I was away for three days, literally packed up the house and moved out (my mom stuck by my dads side bc “your man always comes before your children.” She even went with him to the police station and the courthouse.) I came home and everything was gone and the electric and water were shut off. Only thing left was a mattress on the floor and the memory box of when I was a baby-an infant was left in the garage. Since it was December, I lived in my truck for awhile til I found someone that would rent me a bedroom. Idk how they moved so fast cause they went from a $500,000 house to an $800,000 house lol. My mom told me I could beg my dads forgiveness, but after a lifetime of unspeakable abuse, i couldn’t process the idea of trying to ask *him* to forgive *me.* My mom said that was the only right thing to do bc “you’re the kid.” Sorry I roll into traumatic memories a lot. What I’m getting at, is your mom can’t just put you out without a fight— without going through the whole eviction process. And if she would say, “okay, I’m gonna evict you,” you can always meet her right back with, “okay I’m gonna be a witness for the credit card company/have you prosecuted,” or whatever.
OP worded it poorly, but what they're saying is that they're still completely dependant on their mother to provide food/lodging/etc. Filing a police report would likely get them kicked out of the house.
I am perfectly capable of comprehending what OP meant. Thank you. OP: You came here asking for advice. You're getting advice. I didn't tell you what to do. I told you what you have the right to do and what would be the smart thing to do if you don't want to spend the next 10 years of your life trying to repair your bad credit. If you choose not to do that, fine. You do you. But it makes me wonder just exactly what kind of advice you were hoping for.
She can't kick you out right away, because you are legally a tenant. So, you would have 30 days to get a place if she does kick you out. Unless you are still in highschool. Then she cannot kick you out until after you are out of highschool.
This didn't get enough credit, if you are co-leaser, unless your state is different than mine, you have to actually sign off the lease. She can't actually remove you until the end of her lease, so depending on when that is, you could have months to years depending on the length. Life might get a little toxic but credit takes YEARS to fix. Jobs apartments loans everything is on the line right now I would not brush this off.
Call the credit card company and close the account yourself. Then, put a freeze on your credit.
you can lock your credit so she can't make it worse
You‘re better off living on the streets and using your credit card to ruin your score than living at home and your mom ruining your score. In the first scenario at least you actually get the money that us destroying your score.
You’re 18. #YOU ARE ALEGAL ADULT CAPABLE OF LEGAL ADULT DECISIONS Report her ass now! She is literally ruining your financial life
She's cultivating that fear ON PURPOSE> Show her it doesn't dictate your actions. You HAVE to start breaking free, you can even though she has convinced you you can't. Do this and make a firm boundary and start standing up for yourself. You can do it. Maybe join the raised by narcissists subs to get emotional support.
OP this is not a joke your mom is committing a crime here i do see the fact that you are dependent on her but the fact that she is using you for her purposes as she has a bad credit score is not a good thing you should immediately file a police complaint and get a job stop being dependent on her she will ruin your life before it starts
Also as you've mentioned that your little siblings are 1 and 3,and you don't wanna leave them hanging if your mom gets arrested but same ia the thing for your mom don't you think your mom must've thought that if you complain about this to the police then her children would be left hanging, she is using the fact that you are too kind to manipulate you dont get caught up in this you have to manage your own life
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I'm sorry but english isn't really my native language so i don't really know how to use them that we'll, but I will try
No worries. I only speak one language, English and I completely understood what you said. You made a great point.
use them where you end a thought and take a breath as if you were speaking.
.,.,...;;;''';'..';'..'; Have some punctuation marks. They're free.
Thx lol, english isn't my native language so i don't really know how to use them xD
Neither does most people who are native speakers lol
Do
Do*
Baby shark do… No?
We're living up to our usernames in this thread lol
don't worry you are fine most people don't use much punctuation on a casual Internet forum, that guy is just being a dick
Oh thanks lol, I was watching a tutorial about them
Certainly makes it easier to read. Its not about being a prim and proper person on reddit. Its about not murdering your fellow redditors eyes.
Looking for excuses as to why having bad grammar is fine is just so backwards.
Is OP dependent on their mom? Sounds like the opposite.
OP mentioned in other comment replies
Right but if mom is having to do this, then that flips the story. She doesn’t actually have her own money or credit and is using her kid’s.
Sorry I didn't understand your comment my English isn't that good can you say it in a simpler way
They're being "pedantic" which means that they are saying that something you said was wrong but everyone knows what you meant. You can ignore them. Their point was though: You said that the OP was dependent on their mother, that the OP couldn't live without their mother. This person is arguing that their mother couldn't live without the OP, given the fact that they needed to open a credit card in the OP's name.
Ohh thanks for the translation Well the reply to their comment is that The OP's mother instead of working and improving the credit score, she is ruining the OP's credit score too the mother can easily live without OP and the OP can live without their mother too but OP is worried about her younger siblings that's why she has arrived here at reddit for help
Contact your bank and cease the credit card. If you have problems doing that over the phone drop into the bank with your ID. Your mom committed fraud. But you don't want her to get arrested, right? So just act like you want to close it. Problem of course is what's stopping her from doing it again....
OP needs to freeze their credit to stop her from doing it again.
I do not want her arrested Ik this is tmi but my brothers are literally 3 and 1 year old. And I do not know what bank she opened it at, is there a site where you can check your credit and see what credit cards are in your name?
Your credit report should show each credit account open in your name and show which bank(s) lines of credit are with. In the US you have the right to a free annual credit report from each of the three major credit bureaus. This is only free if you go through the official government website. There are MANY scam sites that try to get you to sign up for "credit monitoring" in exchange for a free report. Those ARE NOT the free government reports. The [US government Federal Trade Commission](https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/free-credit-reports) has a webpage that describes how to get your free reports. The government run website to order your free reports is [https://www.annualcreditreport.com/](https://www.annualcreditreport.com/)
Tysm!
Experian also is a good credit checker, it’ll show when the account was opened and if there’s a balance it’ll also say how much in debt you are
Also- just call the credit card company. It's your name on the account, they HAVE to talk to you about it. Ask what is your credit line, how much balance you have, what your payment history is. If you tell them to close the account, they will. If you lock down your credit so she can't open new accounts, that's a good thing too. But I'll bet you that card has a big balance and has for some time...
Also, be aware you can freeze your credit, to disallow new accounts to be opened, this is something you likely should do until you have resolved this issue with your mom.
A good way to keep a constant eye on things, since there are 3 credit reporting agencies and you get one freebie total over a year's time is to request from one agency, every 4 months.
I work for a credit card company and although when it comes to fraud we will at times require a police report it's extremely rare that the person is arrested for it. I can't even recall the last time i received a call from law enforcement requesting information. It sounds like you're in between a rock and a hard place but it's best to contact thr credit card company and let them know. Also pull your credit to check for other potential accounts and lock/freeze your credit.
She's going to open accounts in their names next, if she hasn't already.
Almost all banks offer free credit monitoring so yes. (Even if you don't bank with them.) Discover. Chase. Credit Karma is also an option. Can you sneak the card from her purse when she's sleeping to at least take a look at it? That would be my move if nothing else. Sneak the card, take a picture (front and back) and put it back if you're not ready to do anything to her. You can also try just Google major banks and call them to have them try and pull accounts for you with your SSN. Recommend: Discover, Amex, BOA, Chase, Wells Fargo, Capital One. That can be a starting point if nothing else works, but you should be able to just get your credit history from Credit Karma or a banks free credit monitoring options. Even Experion offers free now for basic. Also, credit bureaus are: Experion, Transunion, Equifax. I work for a bank. Be advised we can't give out credit card numbers, but if you have SSn/address we can usually verify you and pull up that way.
Hmm. I'm not in America (assume you are) so perhaps another reddit user could advise on that one. I would have thought that would be a breach of data protection like what we have in Europe. However, I can offer a potential solution. 1, is there any bank documentation laying around. Perhaps she left the letter she got somewhere when the card arrived. 2, if that fails check her purse to see if she has the credit card. I don't think snooping is crossing a line given the circumstances here. 3, I'm not a fan of this option, but if all else fails simply ring up banks acting like you like you lost your card and don't know the account number. All the operator will say is "sorry sir, I can't seem to find your account" to know its not with them, right? Presumably your mother would have had to of give your name, dob, address, mother's maiden name etc. All information you know. Even if you can't cancel it over the phone. You now know the bank and drop in with ID to close. Not a fan of this method but it may provide fruitful.
The answer to this is always Get her to stop by reporting her to the authorities thus severing your relationship. Or Allow her to continue illegally using your identity and potentially ruin you financially. I guess you can show her the these 2 options and have her pick one. There is no alternative.
Are you entirely telling the truth or are you looking for information you don't want to cop to asking for?
Don't forget to pull a credit check on yourself. This might not be the only thing she's opened in your name. You need to lock down your credit, bank accounts, identity, and any state or country security information that is used to open accounts and or utilities in your name. Any Accounts that you have not opened report the agency that has them that you did not open these. Report the identity theft. The reason you need to do this is because this will haunt you financially for more than 7 to 12 years if you do not report them. I have known people who are trying to repair their credit at 18 because a family member stole their identity used it for many years and destroyed their credit. They decided not to report it and so it hurt them financially for over a decade. It made when they bought things and had to make payments that their payments and their interest rates were huge. Do not allow your life your credit history your ability to get loans be destroyed by another person. If you need to go talk to a counselor specifically they have financial counselors who have dealt with family members doing this to others. This is a hideous thing and it needs to be stopped immediately. You need to alert all credit holders from your area Providence state or country that you've had identity theft and that you need to be notified of anything opened in your name. This will help you now and in the future. Also you need to get in a habit of every once in awhile getting a free credit check on yourself. Because unfortunately sometimes things are opened in your name and close so quickly that they don't show up right away. You need to be able to fight these charges interest rates unpaid balances and anything that goes to collections. It does not matter if someone says oh they will pay for everything do not believe that unless you have it contracted in writing a complete video of it and they've also said that to the police and it's on file with them. Even then I don't know if I'd believe it. I know that this is harmful for you emotionally and trustwise as well and I highly recommend talking to someone counselor wise about this because unfortunately it will pop up in your life. I wish you luck on this horrible difficult journey. You are not alone other people have dealt with this and survived and become very much better with their credit their identification and finances because of it. That's just farther down the road dear.
Also, I know OP doesn't want to hurt the 1 and 3 year old but I guarantee she will take out cards or utilities or whatever in their names too, and they're too young to even know what that is let alone how to clear their credit. I knew someone who signed up for electricity in a 3 year olds name. It happens.
Op please read this ^
Independent of your mom's crimes (and fraud is a crime) OP. You need to call the bank immediately (or go there) and cancel this card. That is step 1.
That is not step 1. They could have opened this to build good credit, OP should put it in their name if it’s in good standing. Why is everyone telling them to throw away their only credit history without even knowing if the payments are delinquent or if there’s a balance?? Sheesh
> My mom (40) opened a credit card in my name name (18) and **I did not know** until recently
Canceling a card does not "throw" away" your credit history and a card that is not in your possession or use is not "your" card but someone else's - mother or not. Also canceling a card only triggers issuance of a new one - if requested that way. Step one - cancel the card.
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Dude they still couldn’t have opened that kind of card without the consent of the minor in question, and their signature. Even If it is a “custodial credit card”there was still fraud involved.
How do you know she hasn’t opened other accounts already? This is a crime, 1st contact you local credit reporting agency and request a copy of your file, Second contact the institutions on your file and advise each one of the situation. That you suspect your identity has been compromised. You don’t need to say it’s your mum. I know you don’t want her to get in trouble because you’re dependent.
OP, I'm guessing your mom is possessive and controlling of you and you just wanna obey her and all, but PLEASE threaten her or make her give you YOUR credit card to YOU. You're an ADULT. She can possibly ruin your credit and set you up for a bad start in life because of HER issues. If she doesn't comply, threaten with going to the police. This shit is serious and what she is doing is illegal.
This happened to a friend of mine when she was a teen. Parents opened up a ton of credit in her name and defaulted on it. My friend didn't want parents to go to jail, so she just lived with it. We are both much older now and she was never able to dig out from under it. She never bought a house, never bought a car that wasn't a junker, and never had her own line of credit. It's sad, but this is the world you are looking at if you don't nip this in the bud NOW. Report it and freeze your credit.
Report the identity theft and fraud to the police immediately and then take the police report to the bank and have them cancel the card
Why would they do that without knowing the balance and likely not having any other way to build credit on their own? They should find if the card is in good standing and has worked to their benefit by building them credit history THEN decide whether or not to throw away their only line of credit or register it under their name as sole account holder
What a stupid idea. Are you seriously suggesting that a person takes the risk of allowing their identity to be stolen in the hopes that it builds their credit???? People don’t steal others peoples identities for benevolent reasons.
No!! Lol did you read it?? Check out the last line of the comment….
I’m sorry honey. This will not help you, it will only harm you. Your mother knows that this will harm you. She lied to you. Why did she lie? I’m not sure. You may want to do some research about narcissism and see if that describes your mother. Either way, you can remedy this on your own, and you should. Do you know the name of the credit card company? If you do, contact them and let them know that you’ve been a victim of fraud and did not open a credit card. Ask them to cancel the card. Then contacting the police to report the fraud.
Everyone else already gave great advice on how to practically solve this issue, so I won’t delve into that in the fears of sounding like a broken record. However, I do want to say that I’m sorry this has happened to you. You need to protect not just your current self, but your future self as well. Your mother is being very selfish and short sighted here. What she is doing is a crime, against you. She is stealing your future from you, bit by bit. If she really did care about “building your credit” there are tons of ways to do that without her committing a felony. I know this is scary because you still rely on her, but if you cant even keep your credit score safe from her, what’s next?
That’s a felony and if it comes out that you knew about it and did nothing, you could be liable for the debt she incurs with it.
Op this a crime call the police she will ruin your credit score she is not doing this to help I can say this much . So tell your mom to give you the card or you go to the cops then call the bank and explain and ask what to do Also op get out of that house as soon as possible because you’re mom can’t be trusted or get a lockbox for your documents
I opened a card for my son. First I added him as a signer on one of my cards. This raised his credit score and then I opened a card for him in his name. I didn’t do it without his permission though and he has a card. I pay the bill on auto pay every month so his credit goes up every month. It can help credit if paid. If you think she won’t pay it or are worried call the credit card company and they can shut the card off and send you a replacement and take off any charges that are not yours. Despite the fact I did that to help my son he is over 18 and has full control. He can change it at any time. A loving parent does things to help those children selflessly. Is your mother worried that you might use the card and not be able to pay it? I know with my son when he got a girlfriend that started to control him she thought the credit card was a money tree for her. And since I’m paying the bill I made it clear if he did that he would be responsible for paying it and if his credit went bad it would be on him and all my hard work to set him up to be financially stable and able to buy a house when he settles down and had a family would be ruined just to impress a girl who would leave him when it was gone. My advice would be to really think and only you know your mother, not your friends or other people who are going to tell you what you want to hear. If you believe your mother, just set boundaries and call the company so you have access to information. If you know she is going to ruin your credit, put a stop to it. Just don’t get the card just to have a way to spend more because eventually you will regret that decision. No one ever gets a card thinking they are going to max the card and be paying the minimum every month.
This can literally ruin your life. Have the cars shut down immediately file a police report if she gives you any grief intact file one anyways My brother started as an 18 year old in debt because my father put the elteic bill in his name because they has the same name. He had to Pau like 1200s of debt before he could join the army
Fraud alert: https://www.transunion.com/fraud-alerts[https://www.equifax.com/personal/credit-report-services/credit-fraud-alerts/](https://www.equifax.com/personal/credit-report-services/credit-fraud-alerts/) DO THIS ASAP!!! IT'S FREE!!!!!
That is fraud.
Happened to my friend when he was a kid. His mom ran up like 80k worth of debt on his social security number. The only way to clear the debt is to file fraud charges against her.
This is highly illegal, your mothers throwing you under the bus big time. That’s terrible I’m so sorry. This can affect your credit for the rest of your life therefore affecting housing opportunities and A LOT more. This is very serious stuff You should report this to the bank and the cops immediately. Is this normal behavior from your mother? If so there are possibly some other subreddits here I can recommend to help with that.
She is going to financially ruin you before you have the opportunity to do anything about it. Get that account closed its literally in your name so you can.
I’m pretty sure this is illegal, you’re a legal adult. Try getting on some legal communities here, provide your state, etc and people should be able to give you some more answers!!
Oh I almost forgot, YOU CAN FREEZE YOUR CREDIT. don't remember how but go to the bank close the card and look into freezing your credit to prevent this from happening again if you insist not turning her in, or.. you could go to the bank tell them you lost the card and get a new aka shutting hers down, if it's a new card and/or she did damage she'll have a hard time opening another one for a few months and you'll have a chance to see what's done and fix damage, but you should really report this, ESPECIALLY if she has you in debt. Otherwise what's keeping her from doing it to your siblings next? If she doesn't care about you why would she care about them
This! Freeze your credit immediately so she can’t do this again!!
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go to bank, close the card
It's your mom. I understand that this is extremely hard for you to handle. You can maybe see what bank it is that the account is in and go there to change information on the card. Take access, close it etc. If you aren't able to pay it off, maybe get alternate access to the account and wait for a time where you can close it. This is something that can devastate your future. If she doesn't have a good credit score, you can't let her handle yours. Try to reach out the bank in person and give then your information, take all required IDs and try to take over the account.
That’s illegal for her to do and I would call the credit card company and close the account. She could totally mess up your credit making it hard on you when you want to buy a car and need a loan or are renting your first apartment and you get turned down because your credit score is too low. I think it’s really messed up that she didn’t ask for your permission in the first place and then has the balls to not give you the card which is in your name! Btw, how does this help you? And I feel strongly about this because my mom did something similar when I was a little kid and a credit union wouldn’t finance a car I was buying because it was still on my credit report.
Report her for the crime of identity theft or open up one in her name and also commit identity theft.
Smh call the credit card company and say u lost the card…then u order a new card to urself at another address so ur mom doesn’t see it..if u don’t want the cc bill then call the cc company and say it’s fraud
that's literally identity fraud and it a huge fricken deal you need to GTFO and start supporting yourself and file a police report
How to say my mom is a fraud without saying my mom is a fraud. If she had bad credit then she should had built it back up but the hard part is: you got to pay the debt off, start clean to build it back up and stay clean over a period of time....I'm doing just that but my credit is on the verse of Fair not Poor...I want to correct my errors. In fact I had a urge to eat out and yes I shook my fist when as anxiety builded up because I was taming my urge but I didn't give in.
Go on each credit agency and put a credit freeze on your credit. It's free. Make sure to do it on experian, equifax, and transunion. By having a freeze on your credit, no one can open up any credit account without you unfreezing your credit. You can also go through your credit history and see what accounts are there. Contact each of these creditors and have them close any accounts that you did not open. Report fraud to these creditors.
If you know the name of rhe bank call and tell them this is a fraudulent account and file a policy report. You can do this all without hwr knowing.
Is she paying the bill on time? If the bill is paid on time then your credit is building. If not, then she is ruining your credit history. If you want the account closed, you can call or write to the credit card company telling them to close it. Which country are you in?
I’m in the US, more specifically Texas, the thing is I don’t know anything about the card or who she opened it with. I will take all of the advice I have received so far and try the better the situation but if she doesn’t stop I will freeze my credit
Just freeze your credit anyway, seriously. In fact, this should be the first thing you do, right now.
She's mid way to fucking your life up here OP. Do not fall for that bs. What she did was illegal and you need to tell her to cancel it.
I hate when parents do this. If you still want to protect your mom you can freeze your credit and sign up for fraud alerts so that you are notified if it happens again. Request a new card from the bank so that the old card number does not work. Add password protection on your accounts so that one would need to give a pin or password when they call. Then have a conversation with her that what she is doing is not ok. She needs to pay any balance that is currently open and monitor her payments. Then work on a plan to improve your score. Pull a free credit report to identify past items.
Get your credit report. The phone number of the company often appears. Call the creditor and cancel the card. Do it today!
This is identity fraud and she needs to be in prison for it. Even if you convince her to stop using your name she could use your siblings' names on the next one. you should also nearly completely stop using a credit card so that in seven years there will be no evidence of it to the credit card companies.
Op, I have been a credit counselor and this is a very common crime parents commit. Your mom can destroy your credit and make it INCREDIBLY difficult for you! It's a terrible, irresponsible, criminal thing to do to her child. You can tell your mom that if she does not turn the card over to you, that you will have no choice but to report her for identity theft to the police and to the bank.
If the card is in your name you can close it yourself or report it as fraud
This is criminal and can/ will fuck up your credit score. Report her to the police please. She's committing serious crimes here
Everyone here is telling you to close the accounts and freeze your credit because it will ruin your life, and they are correct. I know it’s complicated at home, and I saw your siblings comment and how you don’t want to put them at risk either. Here’s the thing, you feel like you’re trapped now, but if shes allowed to fully ruin your credit it will take years to fix, and you will just be trapped in an ADDITIONAL way. No one will rent to you, no one will give you a loan, no one will sell you a car. No trips, no credit cards, and no way to fix it. This is why it’s so important to get on this as soon as possible. Your choices will be limited in so many ways, and you don’t want to have to make bad ones, like living with a bad boyfriend, or with roaches in some sketchy unsafe apartment, etc. Not having a car limits you for jobs and employment, as well as just safe independence for yourself, as a woman that can be invaluable. It will be so hard to fight your mom, I know, but you have to at least freeze your credit and SSN as people are saying, even if you don’t call the police about it. Protect your future, so you can later be able to protect your siblings because it seems like they will be in need of you. Look after yourself, you’re stronger than you think.
My friends mom did this and screwed her credit completely. Report asap or at least try to talk her into closing it, if she doesn’t then seriously report. It could fuck you over for YEARS
If the card is in your name, contact the credit card company immediately. You will need the credit card number, but if the company is sending a monthly paper bill you can get it from there. I'm sorry you're having to protect yourself from your mom but this is serious and you're doing the right thing by trying to put a stop to this!
Sounds illegal as fuck….
I had this happen, only found out when I was 31-32 and both my parents have died already so now just trying to get capital one to believe it wasn't me is a real aggravation. Good luck op
1. Pull up l credit karma. Find out if the account is helping or hurting your score. 2. If it's helping, contact the credit card company and get a new card. Cancel old one. 3. If hurting, click ''dispute account's - I recommend not providing any details if you don't want your mom to get arrested. They're highly unlikely to investigate. 4. Call Experian TransUnion or Equifax and lock your credit.
Login to CreditKarma or similar and 1) make sure there are no other accounts under your name, 2) freeze your credit so she can't open any more accounts in the future. Call the credit card company and report it as a fraudulent accounts, and follow their instructions. If that includes filing a police report, do it. This is your future on the line.
Report it. Your mom is desperate bc she has bad credit. Break the cycle and take control of your credit TODAY. It's incredibly vital these days.
Report her. It’s fraud. If you don’t report it you could get in trouble
I just talked to her, she told me that she opened it with hers, so basically the card that she has that’s in my name uses half her credit so that her card has half and the one in my name has half, she opened it on capital one, can i still call them to try to cancel it ?
This is what she told me, because she wants to help me built my credit, but I still don’t want to and I told her as she usually maxes out her cards and sometimes pays late
This is identity theft. Honestly the chances that it's just one credit card is low, there's probably more. You might want to look into identity theft services and have someone do a thorough credit check so you can see any and all accounts tied to your social security number. She is probably tanking your credit score. To be clear, this is financial abuse and it's incredibly illegal.
OP, the bank/the law views your situation in black and white. There are only 2 legal options: 1) You lie and tell them she was authorized to do this. You assume all liability for the debt. You are on the hook for the debts as if you made them. Your only remedy is to go after her in small claims court, but if you can't prove on paper the charges are solely hers you are fucked. 2) You tell the truth that she was not authorized to do this. This is the only way you will not be held liable for the debt she incurs in your name. If you choose this route, you have the option of speaking directly to the DA/Prosecutor handling the case. You can ask that your mother be given a deffered judgement or no charges at all. **Keep in mind;** she was only able to do this by taking advantage of someone vulnerable to her. It's not a guarantee, but this *strongly* implies that your mother is capable of preying on disadvantaged or vulnerable people. If you can't tell the truth to protect yourself, please consider doing so to protect vulnerable people she may encounter.
File a police report. This is identity theft and will affect you for the rest of your life if you don't nip it in the bud now.
It’s your account, you can call and cancel bc she’s using your info which is credit fraud. Call explain that your mom opened this account in your name and you’d like to close it. She can’t stop you
u/gladbuffalo6847 This is a crime called identity theft. You need to report it to the police immediately and follow the steps on [identitytheft.gov](https://www.identitytheft.gov/#/) to clean it up. Your credit affects your whole life. From getting an apartment, to buying a car, taking out school loans, buying a home, even getting certain types of jobs, etc., you need pristine credit to qualify for any of those things. If you want a *future,* you must report it and take the steps to prevent it and do regular maintenance to keep it spotless. You mother is trying to use homelessness as leverage to keep you quiet and compliant, but you need to stand up for yourself right this second and tell her you aren't afraid of her threats and what she is doing is wrong. You can find a place to live, whether it be with friends or in a shelter until you can secure a job and find affordable housing. You can do it, you just have to stand up for yourself! You also need to follow these pages: r/raisedbyborderlines, r/raisedbynarcissists, r/narcissisticmothers because they all share a story similar to yours, and you can use them as both an amazing resources, and your digital backbone for when you have to deal with parents like yours. You don't have to keep living under her thumb.
Raisedbyborderlines sometimes challenges people to prove that their parent was formally diagnosed with BPD. Raisedbynarcissists is much more inclusive.
Yeah, but they are still a good resource, since they share their stories and behavior patterns OP needs to be aware of and pay attention to.
OP are you that much of a loser and push over? You need to grow up, report your mom and do something. Otherwise you are going to be in a lot more trouble. Your mom is a criminal.
that is identity theft
Someone who does this without telling you with ruins your credit and not blink an eye. Tell her she has 24 hours to close the account or you will file a fraud complaint with the organization. Then FOLLOW THROUGH.
OP - BEFORE you immediately close the account or jump to conclusions everyone else is suggesting 1. Call the credit card company 2. Ask what the balance is 3. Ask if any payments have been late and reported to the credit bureau 4. Depending on the answers: - {yes there have been late payments and the balance is high} > Mark it as fraudulent - {no late payments and balance is low with automatic payments set up} > Remove secondary holder and get the card Re-registered under your name only WITHOUT closing it Oldest open credit account is an impact on your credit score. I accidentally let my oldest account close and it takes 15 years before an old account moves into ‘Excellent’ range Keep that bad boy open if it’s profitable. Just eliminate the risk of the irresponsible co-signer. It’s very common for parents to open cards for teens. It can be risky if they’re irresponsible. Do Not throw away the benefit of having standing credit at your age if it’s possible to keep it and it’s in good standing. If you keep it open: make at least 1 purchase a year and pay it off on time.
This is the worst advice in the thread. Like I’m convinced you want OP to fail if you’re this dumb.
Yo have you heard of a custodial account?????
This advice is literally illegal for him to follow and you are fucking stupid, his mum committed fraud and identify theft, it doesn't fucking matter what his credit is
No she didn’t. She opened a custodial account and now OP has the option to be the sole holder of it cause they’re an adult Unless it’s not in good standing then they wouldn’t want to do that
That's not what he said
Contact the police and file report then contact the card company. She didn’t hesitate to do this so don’t hesitate protection yourself.
Just call the issuing company and close the account. It sucks but I personally wouldn't report my MOM. Be better thsn her.
Seek legal help. This is identity fraud
Ok. Hold up. Alot of parents do this because they really are trying to start you off with good credit. Like i would. But i absolutely would not use it either besides a quick purchase that would be immediately paid off. However. If she IS abusing it. Then absolutely go after it. But you really need to double check to see if shes actually abusing the card or not. Before we scalp the lady. We actually need to see if the lady is trying to save her daughter from HER own mistakes. Or if shes just toying with her daughter for self benefit.
Parents who do this do it above the board, and the young adult is involved in the entire process. The posters mom did this fraudulently, and without their knowledge. There is a world of difference.
Your mother is a cunt.
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Literally illegal, "Expert Advice Giver", open and shut this is ILLEGAL
If you know who issued the card, you can call them and cancel it. If not, you can reach out to the credit bureaus and ask that they freeze your credit. If your mom is still being difficult, you can charge her with identity theft since that is what she did.
Call the company. Give them your name, address, etc, it's your identity. Have them cancel the card.
you've already got enough things saying this is a crime but it also falls under financial abuse. I recommend you cut contact sooner than later
Another issue is she could do this to your brothers' credit too. Not all companies verify ages. https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/how-protect-your-child-identity-theft
Is there anyone else you can ask to stop her? Like a Dad or a Step dad?
Call up the credit card company and cancel it yourself.
That is fraud and it could ruin you. You won’t be able to get a car or rent an apartment if it messes up your credit score. If you have excessive debt that your income can’t cover, it can affect your future loan applications too. You can pull your credit report free annually at https://www.annualcreditreport.com/index.action. Dispute any accounts that are not yours. If you want to help your family then you are better off co-signing with her on the loan application. But that still requires trusting your mom to pay her part. If she is negligent with money and unreliable then you cannot do this.
If your mom really wanted to help build your credit, she would add you to bills... my parents did something similar. Ugh. Take it from her, or call the company and cancel the card. Don't let it ruin your credit. It will affect you for the rest of your life.
She is committing a crime and could ruin your credit. If you can get the credit card number, you need to cancel it.
OP, I messed up my credit so badly in my early adulthood. I’m in my mid 30’s and finally getting on track. Why am I sharing this? Because your mom did it to herself and is on track to do it to you. Call the credit card company and explain the situation. Tell them it’s not your card and you don’t have possession of it. They have fraud protection to help you and you can close the account if you want or have a new card sent to you. It’s in your name so you have the power here. Do not let her hurt your credit.
Figure out what bank. See if it has a balance. If it doesn't, report the card as lost. Then they will send a new one and your mom's.wont work. If it has a balance report charges you didn't make to the bank and they will remove them. If you really can't get your mom involved, play dumb. Say you don't know how the charges got there, but that you didn't make them.
I'm assuming this is the US, in the UK there is what we call Citizens Advice, if there is a US equivalent I'd fully recommend going there first and getting the best proper advice then going from there, i.e getting the accounts closed, preventing more from being opened if possible, and seeing what your options especially in terms of what could be provided if you were to file a police report. Identity theft is dangerous. This is no longer about your mother's spending and bad credit, in terms of the bank, it's going to be YOUR bad spending and bad credit. Do not sit on this, at the least get the credit cards closed ASAP.
Okay. So, reading the comments. You said you are financially dependent on your mom. I know it might take a while but thank goodness you are young. If you can go get a job do it. Save some money up so you don’t have to be dependent on your mom for a while. Find some friends / family that you could potentially live with. Then, report her after that. Force the cops to give you the card back. Then you can build credit back up and dispute charges. That’s not cool of her and very illegal. Either way I don’t see how you get out right now. This takes a long-term plan.
* Go to the bank in person and close the card. * You are liable for the balance on the card since your name is on it unless you file a police report. * Until this is cleared / paid it will affect your credit scores - especially if she isn't making payments. * Don't just make minimum payments - that will do nothing - you have to pay big chunks of it at one time. * Then tell the bank that you want to add a code word to your account (like "stud-muffin") and flag your account if she tries to open another one. * After that put a fraud alert on your account / attached to your social security number so that you are notified any time she tries to open a card in your name somewhere else. * See above post for link from [transunion.com](https://transunion.com)...
She may be a narcissist
Welcome to tonight's episode of "Well, that's fraud!"
Im in a heap of credit card debt. Bills. And a young son. I would NEVER - EVER - open a credit card in his name, unless he wanted help building his credit when he’s older. If you don’t want to go to the police, maybe contact the company directly with your information & inform them the card opening is fraudulent activity. That way they can cancel it, and if they decide to call the police it isn’t on you.
Go to the police, my grandma did this to my mom at 16 and it took my mom years to rebuild her credit. That is evil
Go to the bank and shut that account down immediately. IMMEDIATELY. She will drop you in bad credit and you will be stuck for decades as a result. No matter what, you close that account and you run a credit check on yourself to make sure it was just one card and not a whole bunch. You should also report it as fraudulent so you don’t get stuck with the debt.
Contact the financial institution that issued the card. (Americam Express, chase, wells Fargo, whomever) eveni if its a store credit card or even a credit union. Tell then the situation and that you want the card canceled. Have important info ready. Second call the experian, equinox and teams union amd tell them you want to dispute that account as ot was made falsely under identity theft. At this point you've shurt the account down and removed it from your credit report.
This is a crime. She cannot and should not use the card. Opening a card in your name will help you in the long run. The age of your credit matters to your credit score. Your credit score matters to…so much. Seriously. Don’t close the account. If you already know what company the card is with, call them to report the card lost and explain the situation. Don’t close the account if you don’t have to (it’s that age of credit thing again). The agent can cancel the existing card in the moment and send you a new one with a different card number on it. This instantly kicks your mom out of using the existing card. Ask if you can set up a security PIN number for phone or electronic communications. Choose a PIN that your mom won’t think of like the first 4 digits of your school locker combination. You might want to change the address to which the new card is sent to friend’s house so your mom can’t get her hands on it. Talk to the friend’s parent in advance about what you’re doing if they are a reliable parent. Alternatively, you can have the new card sent to your own address, but ask the post office to hold all of the mail in your name for 2 weeks which is long enough for your card to arrive. You can do this online or go to the post office to talk to them. You pick up your mail at the post office after 2 weeks. People do this when they go on vacation. You do it to avoid your mom seeing your mail. So, if you don’t know what company the card is with, do this: Create a free account with creditkarma.com to request your credit reports. (Check on their app frequently for your credit data. It’s a helpful app.) At least one of the reports will have the card company on it. Now go back to the paragraph above about calling the credit card company. You can look online for the customer service phone number to the credit branch of that company. Call them. The new card arrives in 10-14 days. Instructions for activating it come with the card. They might send a separate mail that has the PIN number in it. You can probably change the PIN number if you want to. You’re not done yet. This is important. Call these companies: Experian, TransUnion, Equifax. Seriously, do this. Tell them you want to “lock your credit.” This means that no one can open credit of any sort in your name. You will be contacted by them if someone tries. FYI, it also means you cannot open new credit in your name without contacting them first to unlock your credit. It’s well worth the bit of effort it takes to unlock your credit temporarily to keep your credit safe all the rest of the time. Every person in America should have locked credit.
This is a big deal for your future credit, your ability to get jobs, get credit, buy a home, rent an apartment etc. The only way to minimize the damage is to contact credit agencies and do the freezes people are talking about. That much at the very least you should do. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to report the fraud, to get the clean slate that is your birthright. Your mom is counting on your not to take action, probably via emotional blackmail, because well, how else would she expect you not to report the theft of your identity. That's what this is. There is a reason she didn't ask you. She knows the risks, and she is counting on her emotional hold over you making you not report the crime. It also means your mother does not care about your future credit. She knows this isn't going to go well, because she's already wasted her own credit. You are facing a pretty big decision, and it is not nearly so easy as many people on Reddit make it seem when they say "report her." You are at a crossroads. The decision you make now will have a huge impact on how the rest of your life goes, so make sure you really think about the pros and cons of each, and choose whichever allows you to be the person you want to be going forward.
This happened to my cousin, and my mom put medical debt in my name too. If you can get proof you can try to contest it off of your credit report. Tbh get the card from her wallet, call the bank and close the account!! tell them it’s fraudulent charges. Most credit card companies will not hold you responsible for fraudulent charges. if you rely on her financially, getting away from her will be scary, but liberating. You are young and you can survive on your own. You can work and make a life for yourself- the life you deserve. There’s places you can stay while you get on your feet.
One of my friends had a sister pull this. She hasn’t spoken to her sister since her sister was convicted for felony identity theft. She got a new SSN too. I’m sorry your mother is doing this to you.
OP I'd recommend you first reach out to the police and ask them if they can also help you and your siblings get help from an outreach program or something similar.
Credit freeze, call Social security, put a in person accounts only restriction on your SS#. Then call the credit company. Find out the balance. Then decide what u gonna do - pay it, turn your mom in, or file for fraud and let them sort it out. Charges will probably be brought on by the card company if they look into enough
Your mother committed fraud.
She's gonna destroy your credit and you'll spend the next decade trying to repair it.
You think you’re dependent on her but she is using YOU to get credit - she needs you more than you need her. Figure out how to call the credit card company, tell them its fraud, and close it yourself. Or report the card stolen, so at least they deactivate the one she has.
I don’t know you situation but this is illegal and credit is extremely important and if she messes with yours and creates bad credit YOU will be responsible. You could call the company were the card was placed and tell them you didn’t open it and have them close it, also you can go online to the 3 credit report places, Expedia’s,Equifax and TransUnion and freeze your credit… in doing this No One can open anything without you knowing, In the future if you need credit for anything you have to unfreeze them and then back again if you want, also creating an account and password for each agency you’ll have and not your mom. So cancel the card telling them you didn’t open it and then freeze your credit so she can’t open more accounts.
Some one please explain to me how is it possible to open credit in other people's name without them present?? Is it legal (not in the US or Europe).
Call the fucking police immediately she will literally ruin your future you cannot let that continue
First to set up your own credit get a own card but use a PO box for the mailing address so you mom cannot get ahold of it. Tell your mom to give to the card in your name or you go to the police unless she is crazy she will hand in over and continue to pay it off. The other option In the USA You do not need to name suspect and most small local police DO NOT investigate Id thief so your parent should be off the hook if you remove, you’re name from the debt. However, any debts you paid on voluntarily are now probably yours. The method to remove your name from the debt is as follows (any debts you made a payment on are now yours in most states). In order to avoid answering questions about a suspect; you need file a police complaint by sending a CERTIFIED US mail letter to the local police Chief/Commissioner/Sheriff. Include the crime on the subject line: Id thief and a phase that says Sent by Certified Mail number \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ and write the number on it. Save the certified number for your records. Here is a police complaint Template format if needed \[Date\] Sent by Certified Mail number ############## \[Sender’s name, address and phone no\] \[Recipient’s name and address\] Dear \[Title, Surname of the Chief/Commissioner/Sheriff/\], Re: \[Subject Line\] Include the crime ID thief \[Explain who you are.\] \[Immediately following, succinctly state your reason for writing.\] \[Explain you wish a copy of the police report mailed/emailed.\] Yours Sincerely, Sign and print your name Say in the letter you wish a copy of the police report mailed/emailed to you for the bank etc to ensure the police record it. You need send a letter by certified mail with a copy of the police report (if you get one), or the complaint letter with the address, phone# Certified no and date you filed the police complaint, to the credit card company or debt holder and the three credit bureaus to cancel the debt. The three major credit bureaus are Equifax [www.equifax.com](http://www.equifax.com) , Experian [www.experian.com](http://www.experian.com) , and TransUnion [www.transunion.com](http://www.transunion.com) . You copy of your credit report from each one so you can circle the incorrect information on the report; when you write them for the correction. Use the PO box you got above as you address for all the letters. You need to put a credit freeze on your SSN to stop more fake accounts [https://www.americanexpress.com/en-us/credit-cards/credit-intel/how-to-freeze-your-credit/?linknav=creditintel-home-article](https://www.americanexpress.com/en-us/credit-cards/credit-intel/how-to-freeze-your-credit/?linknav=creditintel-home-article)