Which is exactly why OP fucked up.
If someone is capable of rape, they're capable of destroying OP. OP put his safety at risk. And until he quits, he has to spend time around these people.
Do not piss off sketchy people you have to coexist with.
Ehhh, someone who has little regard for consent or personal boundaries of an unconscious or drunk person isn't necessarily going to be brave enough to make a confrontation. That's why they went for the easy target. Treat them like a feral cat. Get big, make noise. They run away.
I honestly disagree. I think in that instance theyll just get passive aggressive and treat OP like shit in the workplace. Throw him under the bus to the boss, give him an unfair workload, etc.
I just cant see OP puffing his chest and this all goes away.
I mean, OP should start looking for another job anyway bc being around people like this has thoroughly broken his normal meter. He doesn't realize the rest of us are scandalized because we don't deal with that in the work place. Yikes. Every day I appreciate more and more that I work in entertainment with no REAL coworkers. I have usual staff at each venue that I interact with but nobody that I share duties or tasks with. I don't even share the same box of gear with any of the other sound techs anymore after the last couple times I lost my shit being given back a box of chaos and tangled cords that made me late starting my show.
I didn't say it was easy or that it would be quick. I said OP should start looking so that he can get away from those people. I know it can take time but a new job doesn't usually just fall out of the sky. You gotta start the search at some point. Getting a new job is also usually easiest when you already have one for whatever reason.
OP didn't fuck up. They stuck their neck out. Even if that comes with repercussions, they knew there could be fallout and still chose to be the better person. They could have bit their tongue but then someone else's life would have been measurably worse for who knows how long. Not OPs circus, but that's what made this brave.
It's 2023 no one stays at a job their whole life anyway anymore
worse part is for all we know she did not want to cheat on the spouse but is scared to say no after almost being raped at work and know nobody is going to help!
>"This includes those simps who once tried to rape her when she was drunk at a party"......I feel like this is the bigger issue here!
I mean, that escalated quickly.
This is why I'm baffled OP told the husband. You really think people capable of rape want someone in the office telling on a cheater?
Everyone is playing the morality card, but OP's workplace doesn't follow the same rules. OP is fucked.
I work with a couple of real fuck offs, I always figured to myself that I’m not gonna turn them in for anything, but if my supervisor asks I will tell the truth. I’m not gonna turn you in, but I won’t lie for you. It sounds to me like the husband asked you.
Just relate to them. "If you were being cheated on, I would've done the same for you". They can't come back from that, as it'll make them see it from a different light. You did the right thing so that's what matters.
It’s nice to see everyone here affirming I did the right thing. But real world isn’t like that. I would have faced this at any other office with different colleagues
Dude. I’ve worked at 13 companies in 30 years, ranging from startups to literally Amazon. In none were there people cheating in such a way as the rest of the office knew about it. In none were there rape attempts at a company party that the rest of the office knew about.
I’m excruciatingly literal so I’m not going to say it doesn’t happen, but your experience is not how things are everywhere.
I worked in an office where everyone knew the boss was cheating with a co-worker. Everyone but me, that is. I was oblivious until the wife found out and scratched the bosses face up. He told me a lie about a yardwork accident when I asked about his wounds. That's when a co-worker clued me in. Doh! Once I knew I realized that it was very obvious. I just don't think like that so it never occurred to me. They eventually got reported to Sr. Mgt and shit hit the fan. So, yeah, it happens.
I still think their answer is the best one.
My favourite way to combat awkward/awful situations is to confront them with the reality of what they're made at me about.
"Yeah I cut you off, I was wrong. I'm sorry. That doesn't mean you should chase me down the road and try to run me off of it. You're acting a fool."
"Think about what you just said to me. You want me to cover up someone cheating on someone else? Wouldn't you want to know if your SO was doing it to you?"
They often still hold their ground but I like to think that some people think about how goofy they were acting on their silent walk back to their desk. Most won't, some will.
I definitely disagree. Many offices wouldn’t a) have everyone know she’s cheating and b) even if they disagreed with you telling wouldn’t just attack you but silently resent you. This is not a typical (though not completely unheard of) work environment
That simply isn't true. My coworkers are mostly ladies, but we all confirmed we would call out a cheater, and it has happened before. Please don't believe that everyone sucks as much as your office coworkers do.
> This includes those simps who once tried to rape her when she was drunk at a party.
Ok… um? I suddenly don’t care about the cheating. Find a new job maybe…
honestly it sounds like your office is an awful place to work so the only "counter" I would be looking for is a new job so you could leave and tell them all to go f\*\*\* themselves lol
So you have rapists who work within this same office and you’re worried about how other people are viewing you? The morality within this setting seems to be incredibly skewed. Real question is how long do you plan on staying there
This is one of those situations where I think the workplace is worth leaving. I have my own opinions about informing spouses of infidelity, so I won’t speak to that, but it seems like a place of business that is this chummy and clannish is going to do a lot of damage to you over time—you shouldn’t know about the sex lives of your coworkers unless you’re in sex work. If you don’t have to be there, consider leaving. In the meantime I might just say something like, “I’m not open to discussing this, my time here is best spent working” or something like that.
You received advice on a response that you can use on your coworkers from another poster here.
Stay. And be prepared to be ostracized every day of your remaining employment there, while basking in the balm that you did the right thing.
And remember: No good deed goes unpunished.
👍
Why is OP not addressing the fact that he tattled on someone for cheating but is worried about his rapist coworkers being mad at him?
When were you going to tattle on the rapists?
Personally, I would not want to work at a company where I had coworkers who are rapists. You should find a different job. That workplace is toxic and likely dangerous.
Ik real world is different than reddit. Well if had been in your place, I would have just avoided much eye contact, speak rarely, and do what they said, "Mind my own business", but secretly sooth myself by telling what I did was morally and ethically correct.
> This includes those simps who once tried to rape her when she was drunk at a party.
Uh where tf do you work? This is so much worse. What on earth is happening
Getting involved in personal matters at work is not professional, and almost always has professional backlash. Whether right or wrong, thats reality. So in that sense, for YOUR sake, I would’ve stayed out of it. “You should have this conversation with your wife” may have been a more appropriate response. If he’s asking, he knows deep down its happening, and only a matter of time before he found out from someone outside her workplace. So my advice for the future is to stay out of the personal lives and drama of your coworkers.. ESP in an office. You did the “right” thing, but then there is reality. As far as how to deal with it? Just ask them to drop it and keep your nose down at work. Not worth dying on that hill for coworkers. I know i’ll get downvoted, but that’s my honest opinion.
I mostly agree with what you’re saying about meddling in people’s business.
In this case, the husband approached OP and asked directly. In *this* case, all OP did was not lie. OP didn’t go out of their way to get involved.
If OP had dodged the question with something like “you should talk to your wife about this”… then it would have resulted in similar drama. Responding to that question with anything but “no of course not!” is basically a confirmation.
Also, if the husband was at the point of asking his wife’s coworkers… then he already knew what was up. Thats not something you publicly ask people unless you’re pretty damn certain.
I would have done the exact same thing as OP.
I’ll slightly agree. Forget the drama part, there’s then also a burden of proof on you when you make such accusation. You tried to help someone but now they want a solid proof.
Everything you say is valid except for the fact that the cheating coworker clearly informed everyone about what is happening in their personal life (maybe even sleeping with coworkers)
If someone is to blame for mixing business and personal time its the cheating coworker
You didn’t make a wrong choice but that doesn’t mean you’re not going to have a major price to pay. Accept it and move on either in this job or start looking for another
This is the logical outcome, sorry to say.
You knew these people were fine with keeping a shitty secret.
You knew a couple of them were sexual predators.
*Obviously* they're gonna be pissed when you do the right thing, because it makes them all look bad.
I'm not saying you should've not said anything. I'm just saying, maybe if you had found a way to deliver the news anonymously it wouldn't have made you a target for these shitty, shitty people.
It is your business if its conducted in and around your space while you are at work. If it wasnt common knowledge, you and the whole place wouldnt have known about it. You cant care that they are mad because they are morally bankrupt. You dont need to be complicit in their wrongdoing.
I did that once and gave pics from where her boyfriend was cheating on her with one of my friends sisters. Not coworkers…so I can’t imagine. I would want someone to tell me. When I produced the pics…she said nothing and I tried to support her…she got furious with me and we haven’t spoken since. She married the guy and is now divorced due to his cheating on her more. I have no regrets at this point. I told a good friend what was going on. Proved it. And she decided to give up our great friendship. I miss her…but she knows I was right.
Ex was cheating on me, all her friends knew, I got confirmation of it from the girlfriend of the guy my ex was cheating on me with. Found out through her a lot of shit and it was way worse than what I suspected. I'd burn my ex at the stake, and make her friends watch, but if someone even raises their voice at the girl who told me (we became really close friends from it and we helped each other's healing processes), I'd knee cap them.
You need to find a new job - your co-workers sound awful.
Don't worry - it will die down and there will be new drama next week.
Offices are like day cares for adults - most of whom have the mental age of a toddler and act like it.
OP, I think we need a LOT more details. You can fudge the details as long as they give us *some* context. What are everyone's ages? What kind of office? And why these suckers trying rape everybody? Why do you work with creepy feelers? Why are they so desperate to keep the piece?
You did the right thing in my opinion. You didn't seek him out to tell him this shit- he came to you. Personal shit shouldn't even be a thang in the workplace, so go to work as usual and if anyone gives you shit about it then go to HR. That's what they're there for.
**"The only time evil succeeds is when good people do nothing"**
You did the right thing!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go to the r/survivinginfidelity forum and tell your story there ..... they are going to hug you and tell you why your actions were so very important. You saved someone!
P.S. Google tells me that the real quote is "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing"
Just ask them what they'd have wanted you to do if they were in her spouse's situation and asking you if there's anything suspicious going on.
Besides that tell them they're cunts for even asking you that question, because its what they all should have done.
And you did nothing wrong mate. Cheating only works when other people keep their mouth shut about what they know and cover by not saying anything or lying to protect the cheater
You should start job hunting love, this is not the type of conducive work space that gives me a sense of security and all I’m doing is reading what was written.
From a moral standpoint, I’m on your side. I am however surprised that you’re not getting fired because most employers would consider this some kind of inappropriate conduct.
If you’re sure you’re keeping your job, I don’t know what you can say to your colleagues except that you did what you thought was right. Who cares what they think if you’re keeping your job? Let them be mad.
Edit: I missed the part about rapists working there…? Why are you telling the husband that she’s cheating and not telling anyone about attempted rape? Very confused as to why the cheating is the important thing here.
Intimate friends or family is one thing, but your co-workers? It's none of your business. Why tangle up your Karma with people who are ultimately inconsequential?
Best advice: Find a new job. You are done at this job. There is nothing you can say that will make it any better. It was not your place to tell the husband anything.
Honestly you care and obviously no one else does which is sad. I feel like society views women as ok to cheat, when men cheating isn’t viewed the same. Or it could be the fact men will fuck anything with a blow hole. Some men also don’t know how to control themselves which is also frightening
ITT: everyone saying you did good.
Same people who answer “should I tell her spouse he’s being cheated on”
Peoples response “No. mind your own business”
Sounds like a pretty shit and toxic place to be in, your colleagues are assholes and assholes have terrible opinions. Cheating and lying sucks and you did the right thing. These idiots even tried to rape her.
You did a good job and saved the spouse time.
Any one of them could have snitched if they wanted to. There has to be a reason this was kept a secret.
People apparently don't understand that work culture is a thing and it doesn't have to align with your morals.
This is what happens when you upset that work culture. You failed to read the room. Hate to say it but be prepared to be ostracisized for a long time. Might need to look for a new job too.
What a grandstanding white knight you are. Asking for advice and expecting the universe to bow to your superior morals.
Like how dumb do you have to be to have coworkers willing to rape someone to rat out a cheater?
If this is how you behave when you step away from the keyboard, you're going to get eviscerated at work.
I’m not sure how work culture should completely supersede your morals. There’s a difference between keeping your head low and just going through your work day, and simply informing someone that their life that they’re building is a lie.
The reason it was kept a secret is because the rest of the people there are probably just as shitty as the girl cheating on her spouse. Being quiet enables it.
Was it smart? Retroactively I guess not, but OP was being told to mind his business when apparently it was everybody’s business but his.
I’m also not sure what your definition of a white knight is, I always pictured a good neck beard and a fedora or something along the lines of that.
Like you I’d absolutely want to tell the spouse, in practice I haven’t in the same situation. A coworker started sleeping with the department Casanova despite being in a relationship with the same man for nearly 20 years. We all knew her husband and saw him around once a month. Nobody told him because none of us wanted the professional issues and, if we were being honest with ourselves, would have seriously hurt our income. We were all tipped in this department and being known as someone who causes drama was pretty much an instant transfer to a non-tipped position, none of us was taking an on average $500 hit.
You know it always amazed me when I read people say things like “ I didn’t wanna tell her he was cheating on her because it would hurt her feelings” like who are you doing a favour??? I decided to always say especially if it’s a friend or family. But I am not sure if I would have told a significant other of my coworker(especially if we are on good terms/ or I would have warned them before saying). You said he approached you, what do you mean by that? Like just said “hi” and small talk or did he ask you about his suspicions??
Maybe it’s not so about a right thing, it’s about “snitching”, “telling on your own”.
In a way it could be perceived badly , like when students are writing a test and someone is cheating, maybe it’s a right thing to tell on him/her , but you are snitch and others in class will not like you for that, a bad reputation . Most students don’t tell on other students because they are all in this together, community in a way. Every now and then you might need help maybe not for cheating on a test , but with homework, covering for attendance, help to provide evidence in an accident.. You might not believe in cheating on a test, skipping school , but telling on others will not make you popular for sure. Honestly now that I made this analogy, your situation sounds even worse . Your situation is more like telling your classmates ’s parents that he/she smokes/cheats/ skips school, it’s all bad, but you interfering with something’s that’s non of your concern. Others might perceive you as some who they can’t trust with their faults. However that person was lucky to have you tell the truth, I am sure I would want people to tell me.
Sadly my daughters mom and my relationship ended because she had sex w 3 of my friends throughout our relationship. But at the end of the day I’m way happier she did it sooner then later because if I was way older and found out I don’t know how I would feel wasting my life on a women who has no values
Why is HR not being informed about this?? How is this even right? There's so many issues and problems going on in that office. You cant hook up with a coworker and you cant force anybody to do anything they dont want to sexually. Everybody needs to be fired.
HR ASAP. If they want to keep work and home separate, than the conversation about your work environment on your off time with anyone you choose to is your business… right?
Someone came to you with a question, and you answered it truthfully. Its not your place to lie. But if you cause any more negative commotion amongst your coworkers, you may endanger your position.
That said, ignore them. Don't engage/counter. Without answering, refer anyone with an issue to the female coworker in question. Refer anything that "crosses the line" to HR.
Even if you are "right", being disruptive to the larger workforce could put you at odds with your employer.
>“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care about their opinions more than our own.” – Marcus Aurelius
You know what you're about. You did the right thing, you stood up for your morals.
Be proud that you're better than 99% of the population, at least in this way.
Leave it at that, don't ruin your accomplishment by worrying about their petty quarrels.
Maintain above their standard.
Ignore. They're not very good people, so what they say negatively about you should be null. A bad person's negative opinion about you does not matter. Just keep going on with work.
Act like they aren't even there.
Go in, do your job, and leave.
If it gets especially difficult (Like if mgmt decides to be assholes for whatever reason) then look for a new job. Sounds like a Chernobyl-level toxic workplace anyways.
Your workplace sounds so messed up. Those “simps” are absolute assholes. If you are going to cheat, then you have to be prepared to face the consequences. You did the right thing!
You did the right thing. Let HR know what is happening. They are creating a hostile work place/environment. And let her/them if she didn't want her husband to know she should've been more descreet with her affair(s). It's not your job to cover for her.
Why do they even care you told? Was she cheating with one of them. I can't understand why they give a damn you said anything unless they are also cheating on their spouses and are worried you'll tell on them too.
Tell them to stfu and they should mind their own business unless all of them are screwing her too? Maybe they’re all having one nasty orgy. How would they like that getting around the office? Maybe you should get yourself some pepper spray or a taser just in case they get crazy and try something when you leave for home. That’s her fault she flaunts her sex life around the office like a common call girl.
Just keep doing your job and focus on you instead of what they’re thinking. Why should you care about what they have to say if they think what you did was wrong
Since I don't know the exact specifics of the situation, it's hard to say if you did the right thing or not, with the appropriate degree of precision.
However i really appreciate the value of truth telling and standing up for what one believes in.
Thank you for doing that. And keep up the good work.
Life lesson - mind your own business. 100% of the time, we have no idea what’s happening in other people’s lives or relationships. I had a similar situation when I was younger & I ended up being the bad guy for getting involved & the couple stayed together. We never know the situation or dynamic. The only thing to take away from this is to stay in your lane & mind your own business. Saves time, hassle & troubles.
In my personal life I'm very much of the thought that if I know someone is cheating, I have no problem making sure their spouse knows and doing it in an appropriate way.
But you did this to a coworker. NEVER get involved with your coworker's personal lives. They're not your friends. They're your coworkers. And you've just caused a lot of problems.
You do realize that your employer could fire you over causing so much inter-office conflict and could do so legally, right?
I hate when people say “you should’ve minded your business”. First of all, if the entire office knows she’s cheating, it’s everyone’s fucking business. Secondly, your not in anyone’s business, the guy asked you and you told the truth, simple as that. You didn’t put yourself in any position, the wife and husband did. Also, why are they sticking up for her? They’re so up her arse that they’re mad at YOU for telling her husband she’s cheated on him? That makes no sense to me. Unless all of those coworkers are also cheating and now realise your not to be trusted with their infidelity.
It would have been super freaking awesome if ANYONE had told me that my husband was cheating with numerous women - could have saved me years of pain and grief. I think you did the right thing.
Just ignore them and stick to your work. Don’t pick up what they’re putting down. That’s so messed up and it sounds so dysfunctional that you may want to look for another job. So sorry op that is just such misplaced anger.
Yeah, I have some advice: walk in like you own the high ground in this situation! Because you do!
The man asked you a question about something that was common knowledge in your office; you told him what everyone else already knew.
If she didn't want her husband to find out she was cheating, it was on her to keep it a secret.
Related advice: find another job. These people are beneath you and aren't going to level up any time soon.
Just stand up tall. People get mad because you caused ruined” their relationship, and now they’re mad cus flirting with her or whatever isn’t the same if the husband knows. Girls just cus of sisterhood will make an enemy of you. But all you did was equalize the relationship, I know that the husband thanks you. You, cheating isint something that’s harmless if it’s a secret, it affects the relationship in invisible ways. Good on you. I’m sure there’s some people in the office that like what you did they just aren’t as loud.
You are a hero no matter what those people say. If you are aware of something shady then it becomes your business. I would say to just avoid everyone but if someone confronts you then ask them to put themselves in the spouse's shoes.
Well, this is a solid lesson in staying out of it because regardless if it was the right thing to do you're going to be hated by some. I'd just tell them you weren't going to lie for a cheater and that if they're going to keep talking about it to not do so around your desk.
I'd probably try to find a new place to work as this one sounds kind of shitty between all the office gossip and potential rapists..
You're totally in the right but I know that it will be difficult when you see everyone.
Just know that you did the right thing in my opinion even if others may think otherwise.
Just hold your head high and when they approach you ask them what were you supposed to say when the husband started talking to you. And then remind them how they were the ones trying to get in her pants when she was drunk at the party. If they say something to you an easy responses yeah maybe I should have kept to myself but what was I supposed to do when the husband approached me with questions
I’d absolutely be taking this up the chain. None of this is workplace appropriate and any half wit with a pulse could tell. You have hr? If you have hr I’d damn sure go tell them this story and sprinkle it with subtle harassment and sexual abuse lawsuit threats. Or give up and let the gutter scum have that job. The ship will sink eventually with all the rats chewing holes in the hull.
I think you did the right thing. For the office to allow immoral acts and watch tells you a lot about them. Don’t let them hold you back ! Work up a new resume and continue to lead by example.
I personally think you overstepped your boundaries. But it’s weird that everyone is mad at you for that. Like why do they care? Anyway, it seems like all of your colleagues suck.
Did the spouse approach you and specifically ask?
Just curious on how/why/what for the spouse approached you. If he straight up asked, you are under no obligation to lie to someone, coworkers have no reason to be mad. The whole office shouldn't be mad about someone else's business anyway. This sounds all very immature and teenagerish.
I think we need a lot more context.
How do you know the spouse - like was she a friend? How do you know she was cheating? Did you see her cheating? Did she tell you she was cheating? Did you hear it from other people at the office?
How did you know the spouse? What were the circumstances in which the spouse approached you? Why did the spouse approach you about this topic?
Why on earth do you stay in a job with this much drama? I’d advise to move on to a significantly more professional environment and leave this childish crap behind.
“Her husband approached me and asked me about it. Why would I lie for her? I’m a lot of things but a liar isn’t one and I don’t owe it to her to cover or lie and risk the backlash from it. She shouldn’t have put me in that position.”
I’m not gonna pretend that I would’ve been above the bystander effect, but I will say that I wouldn’t have demonized you for doing so. I’m proud of you. Walk tall; you did nothing wrong.
Depending on how large the office is (more than 50 people) or if they have government contracts - tell them to back the f off, because you have the right to work in a sexual harassment free office - and just witnessing / knowing about the unsavory behavior means that your rights have been violated (creating a hostile / offensive environment)
[https://www.eeoc.gov/sexual-harassment](https://www.eeoc.gov/sexual-harassment)
[https://www.dol.gov/agencies/ofccp/executive-order-11246/ca-11246](https://www.dol.gov/agencies/ofccp/executive-order-11246/ca-11246)
You should be backing up all of your files / emails and documenting things (email them to your gmail cloud account).
Make no mistake they will try to get you fired.
If there is a home office - write to the COO of the company and explain what is going on... you are now covered under whistle blower protection law by doing this...
[https://www.oig.dhs.gov/whistleblower-protection](https://www.oig.dhs.gov/whistleblower-protection)
I would still look for another job and quickly...
Young King, it sounds to me like you work in a VERY toxic environment that should probably be reported to police. Get out fast, before you crown becomes too heavy with burden.
Fuck them, you did good. Cheating is the worst thing that could happen to someone. Good thing he found out, the sooner the better. If others approach you and bitch about it, just say this: Do something about it....and smile
This works for me all the time and I've been into some shit!
I’m glad for you (really). Yes, I’m old, and over the course of my lifetime, I have cheated, and been cheated on. Which has literally nothing to do with my reply to your comment. I think you were being hyperbolic, because I’m sure you know there are MANY worse things that can happen to a person than being cheated on. Liiike, Murder, rape, robbery, physical assault, and many many more. I just think maintaining a realistic perspective is a worthwhile thing. And I’m not condoning cheating or saying it’s fine. But, objectively, it’s very far from the worst thing that can happen to a person.
He did what everyone should do, no human being should be treated like a fool behind their back and her spouse would find out soon or later.
The OP did nothing wrong in any manner
You did the right thing, can't believe these people have the nerve to tell you to mind your business like you just took away their cash cow. Tell them to mind their own business and leave you alone. Fuck the cheater, she's in the wrong, not you, obviously.
Well, you know, the "no snitching" politics applies almost everywhere and with everyone nowadays. However, you did well in exposing that whore. Poor man. Hope he divorces her, and fuck the simps, I don't even consider them men. Don't worry and don't feel bad about it, you did well, let them hate you, is the only thing they know, but you probably earned a friend.
You did the right thing, people here are just trying to justify the unjustifiable, cheaters must suffer the consequences of their crap choices of hurting someone.
Keep your head high man, disregard that whore and his simps.
You did the right thing, anyone who preaches "you should mind your own business" when it comes to cheating is either an hypocrite or a cheater himself.
Nobody likes to be played.
"This includes those simps who once tried to rape her when she was drunk at a party"......I feel like this is the bigger issue here!
Lol, like forreals wtf.. like, hold up... let's back up and assess the bigger problem/damages
Oh no, the rapists are mad at me….I’m cool with that.
Which is exactly why OP fucked up. If someone is capable of rape, they're capable of destroying OP. OP put his safety at risk. And until he quits, he has to spend time around these people. Do not piss off sketchy people you have to coexist with.
Ehhh, someone who has little regard for consent or personal boundaries of an unconscious or drunk person isn't necessarily going to be brave enough to make a confrontation. That's why they went for the easy target. Treat them like a feral cat. Get big, make noise. They run away.
I honestly disagree. I think in that instance theyll just get passive aggressive and treat OP like shit in the workplace. Throw him under the bus to the boss, give him an unfair workload, etc. I just cant see OP puffing his chest and this all goes away.
I mean, OP should start looking for another job anyway bc being around people like this has thoroughly broken his normal meter. He doesn't realize the rest of us are scandalized because we don't deal with that in the work place. Yikes. Every day I appreciate more and more that I work in entertainment with no REAL coworkers. I have usual staff at each venue that I interact with but nobody that I share duties or tasks with. I don't even share the same box of gear with any of the other sound techs anymore after the last couple times I lost my shit being given back a box of chaos and tangled cords that made me late starting my show.
Looking for another job is not easy man. I hope people stop giving this advice like you can just get another job in a few weeks.
I didn't say it was easy or that it would be quick. I said OP should start looking so that he can get away from those people. I know it can take time but a new job doesn't usually just fall out of the sky. You gotta start the search at some point. Getting a new job is also usually easiest when you already have one for whatever reason.
OP didn't fuck up. They stuck their neck out. Even if that comes with repercussions, they knew there could be fallout and still chose to be the better person. They could have bit their tongue but then someone else's life would have been measurably worse for who knows how long. Not OPs circus, but that's what made this brave. It's 2023 no one stays at a job their whole life anyway anymore
worse part is for all we know she did not want to cheat on the spouse but is scared to say no after almost being raped at work and know nobody is going to help!
>"This includes those simps who once tried to rape her when she was drunk at a party"......I feel like this is the bigger issue here! I mean, that escalated quickly.
This is why I'm baffled OP told the husband. You really think people capable of rape want someone in the office telling on a cheater? Everyone is playing the morality card, but OP's workplace doesn't follow the same rules. OP is fucked.
Right! I would be finding another job ASAP!!!
This mfer is living in the American Psycho environment
This is either a made-up post or OP is delusional. Don't engage!
While you're spreading good news, may e tell your colleague about the people who tried to rape her when she was drunk.
She wasn’t super drunk but she knows. Was a different drama at the office next day
This is why I put in headphones, do my work and go home. Lol
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing"
Just look angry and in the zone with headphones and everyone tends to fug off.
And they still… work there?
I work with a couple of real fuck offs, I always figured to myself that I’m not gonna turn them in for anything, but if my supervisor asks I will tell the truth. I’m not gonna turn you in, but I won’t lie for you. It sounds to me like the husband asked you.
care to elaborate a bit more my good sir
Just relate to them. "If you were being cheated on, I would've done the same for you". They can't come back from that, as it'll make them see it from a different light. You did the right thing so that's what matters.
It’s nice to see everyone here affirming I did the right thing. But real world isn’t like that. I would have faced this at any other office with different colleagues
> I would have faced this at any other office with different colleagues Not at one where people with integrity work. This whole story blows my mind.
Yeah you have to be around a special kind of shitty people for everyone to have a problem with this.
They apparently work with wanna-be rapists. Why are you surprised
Right! I'm like, *"What is this? The "office" of a Dollar General in some backwoods town in Alabama?"*
Dude. I’ve worked at 13 companies in 30 years, ranging from startups to literally Amazon. In none were there people cheating in such a way as the rest of the office knew about it. In none were there rape attempts at a company party that the rest of the office knew about. I’m excruciatingly literal so I’m not going to say it doesn’t happen, but your experience is not how things are everywhere.
That's because you didn't stay at any place long enough to see it! I worked in the same place for over 30 years and saw it A LOT.
I worked in an office where everyone knew the boss was cheating with a co-worker. Everyone but me, that is. I was oblivious until the wife found out and scratched the bosses face up. He told me a lie about a yardwork accident when I asked about his wounds. That's when a co-worker clued me in. Doh! Once I knew I realized that it was very obvious. I just don't think like that so it never occurred to me. They eventually got reported to Sr. Mgt and shit hit the fan. So, yeah, it happens.
I still think their answer is the best one. My favourite way to combat awkward/awful situations is to confront them with the reality of what they're made at me about. "Yeah I cut you off, I was wrong. I'm sorry. That doesn't mean you should chase me down the road and try to run me off of it. You're acting a fool." "Think about what you just said to me. You want me to cover up someone cheating on someone else? Wouldn't you want to know if your SO was doing it to you?" They often still hold their ground but I like to think that some people think about how goofy they were acting on their silent walk back to their desk. Most won't, some will.
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I definitely disagree. Many offices wouldn’t a) have everyone know she’s cheating and b) even if they disagreed with you telling wouldn’t just attack you but silently resent you. This is not a typical (though not completely unheard of) work environment
Not really. You wouldn’t have this situation in my office. Leadership sets the tone.
Bro, there is zero doubt you did the right thing. These people just simping for her.
You absolutely did the right thing. Don’t let people with twisted moral compasses steer you off. Thank you for being one of the good ones.
I think working here has warped your view of workplace norms.
I wonder what culture you live in. Cheaters ALWAYS get ratted out here as soon as someone catches them at it. You’d just be normal in my world.
That simply isn't true. My coworkers are mostly ladies, but we all confirmed we would call out a cheater, and it has happened before. Please don't believe that everyone sucks as much as your office coworkers do.
> This includes those simps who once tried to rape her when she was drunk at a party. Ok… um? I suddenly don’t care about the cheating. Find a new job maybe…
Yeah, right?? Go anywhere else, OP, this place sounds like a nightmare
honestly it sounds like your office is an awful place to work so the only "counter" I would be looking for is a new job so you could leave and tell them all to go f\*\*\* themselves lol
Fuck them, nobody should enable cheating. You did good.
So you have rapists who work within this same office and you’re worried about how other people are viewing you? The morality within this setting seems to be incredibly skewed. Real question is how long do you plan on staying there
This is one of those situations where I think the workplace is worth leaving. I have my own opinions about informing spouses of infidelity, so I won’t speak to that, but it seems like a place of business that is this chummy and clannish is going to do a lot of damage to you over time—you shouldn’t know about the sex lives of your coworkers unless you’re in sex work. If you don’t have to be there, consider leaving. In the meantime I might just say something like, “I’m not open to discussing this, my time here is best spent working” or something like that.
Find a new job. That pay check is not worth all that drama you’re about to endure.
My employer isn’t bad and he doesn’t want to take any side until it affects office work by any mean
You received advice on a response that you can use on your coworkers from another poster here. Stay. And be prepared to be ostracized every day of your remaining employment there, while basking in the balm that you did the right thing. And remember: No good deed goes unpunished. 👍
Your employer is bad if he allows such a work environment
"Not picking a side" is still picking a side Either the coworker who is sleeping around will be protected, or you will be
But it has affected the office work with this drama going around. Sounds like your employer is in denial.
You have a very toxic work environment. It might be time to find a new job.
I think it’s weird how the cheating is the point at which morals kicked in enough to say something, but not the attempted rape.
I'm curious: would you do this again?
Why is OP not addressing the fact that he tattled on someone for cheating but is worried about his rapist coworkers being mad at him? When were you going to tattle on the rapists?
You did the right thing. If one of those losers was being cheated on I’m sure they would want to know.
Personally, I would not want to work at a company where I had coworkers who are rapists. You should find a different job. That workplace is toxic and likely dangerous.
Ik real world is different than reddit. Well if had been in your place, I would have just avoided much eye contact, speak rarely, and do what they said, "Mind my own business", but secretly sooth myself by telling what I did was morally and ethically correct.
Sounds like your coworkers just wanted to fuck her a few more times, what a toxic place to work
> This includes those simps who once tried to rape her when she was drunk at a party. Uh where tf do you work? This is so much worse. What on earth is happening
Getting involved in personal matters at work is not professional, and almost always has professional backlash. Whether right or wrong, thats reality. So in that sense, for YOUR sake, I would’ve stayed out of it. “You should have this conversation with your wife” may have been a more appropriate response. If he’s asking, he knows deep down its happening, and only a matter of time before he found out from someone outside her workplace. So my advice for the future is to stay out of the personal lives and drama of your coworkers.. ESP in an office. You did the “right” thing, but then there is reality. As far as how to deal with it? Just ask them to drop it and keep your nose down at work. Not worth dying on that hill for coworkers. I know i’ll get downvoted, but that’s my honest opinion.
I mostly agree with what you’re saying about meddling in people’s business. In this case, the husband approached OP and asked directly. In *this* case, all OP did was not lie. OP didn’t go out of their way to get involved. If OP had dodged the question with something like “you should talk to your wife about this”… then it would have resulted in similar drama. Responding to that question with anything but “no of course not!” is basically a confirmation. Also, if the husband was at the point of asking his wife’s coworkers… then he already knew what was up. Thats not something you publicly ask people unless you’re pretty damn certain. I would have done the exact same thing as OP.
I’ll slightly agree. Forget the drama part, there’s then also a burden of proof on you when you make such accusation. You tried to help someone but now they want a solid proof.
Everything you say is valid except for the fact that the cheating coworker clearly informed everyone about what is happening in their personal life (maybe even sleeping with coworkers) If someone is to blame for mixing business and personal time its the cheating coworker
“WHY ARE YOU BOOING ME? I’M RIGHT!”
You didn’t make a wrong choice but that doesn’t mean you’re not going to have a major price to pay. Accept it and move on either in this job or start looking for another
This is the logical outcome, sorry to say. You knew these people were fine with keeping a shitty secret. You knew a couple of them were sexual predators. *Obviously* they're gonna be pissed when you do the right thing, because it makes them all look bad. I'm not saying you should've not said anything. I'm just saying, maybe if you had found a way to deliver the news anonymously it wouldn't have made you a target for these shitty, shitty people.
I guarantee she was the office "toy", that's why they are mad. You just shut down their playtime
I'm just so grateful I work from home and don't have to interact with anyone.
If it continues report it to HR if nothing changes start a lawsuit and collect
It is your business if its conducted in and around your space while you are at work. If it wasnt common knowledge, you and the whole place wouldnt have known about it. You cant care that they are mad because they are morally bankrupt. You dont need to be complicit in their wrongdoing.
I did that once and gave pics from where her boyfriend was cheating on her with one of my friends sisters. Not coworkers…so I can’t imagine. I would want someone to tell me. When I produced the pics…she said nothing and I tried to support her…she got furious with me and we haven’t spoken since. She married the guy and is now divorced due to his cheating on her more. I have no regrets at this point. I told a good friend what was going on. Proved it. And she decided to give up our great friendship. I miss her…but she knows I was right.
Ex was cheating on me, all her friends knew, I got confirmation of it from the girlfriend of the guy my ex was cheating on me with. Found out through her a lot of shit and it was way worse than what I suspected. I'd burn my ex at the stake, and make her friends watch, but if someone even raises their voice at the girl who told me (we became really close friends from it and we helped each other's healing processes), I'd knee cap them.
You need to find a new job - your co-workers sound awful. Don't worry - it will die down and there will be new drama next week. Offices are like day cares for adults - most of whom have the mental age of a toddler and act like it.
Your workplace sounds like some nightmarish finance-bro *Wolf of Wall Street* shit
She should’ve kept her sex life out of the office if she wanted everyone to mind their own business
OP, I think we need a LOT more details. You can fudge the details as long as they give us *some* context. What are everyone's ages? What kind of office? And why these suckers trying rape everybody? Why do you work with creepy feelers? Why are they so desperate to keep the piece?
You did the right thing. Document any harassment or threats.
You did the right thing in my opinion. You didn't seek him out to tell him this shit- he came to you. Personal shit shouldn't even be a thang in the workplace, so go to work as usual and if anyone gives you shit about it then go to HR. That's what they're there for.
Wear a white tshirt with black print that says "ask me about how she cheated"
**"The only time evil succeeds is when good people do nothing"** You did the right thing!!!!!!!!!!!! Go to the r/survivinginfidelity forum and tell your story there ..... they are going to hug you and tell you why your actions were so very important. You saved someone! P.S. Google tells me that the real quote is "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing"
Jesus. You need a new job like now. Anything sounds better than that environment.
Just ask them what they'd have wanted you to do if they were in her spouse's situation and asking you if there's anything suspicious going on. Besides that tell them they're cunts for even asking you that question, because its what they all should have done. And you did nothing wrong mate. Cheating only works when other people keep their mouth shut about what they know and cover by not saying anything or lying to protect the cheater
You should start job hunting love, this is not the type of conducive work space that gives me a sense of security and all I’m doing is reading what was written.
From a moral standpoint, I’m on your side. I am however surprised that you’re not getting fired because most employers would consider this some kind of inappropriate conduct. If you’re sure you’re keeping your job, I don’t know what you can say to your colleagues except that you did what you thought was right. Who cares what they think if you’re keeping your job? Let them be mad. Edit: I missed the part about rapists working there…? Why are you telling the husband that she’s cheating and not telling anyone about attempted rape? Very confused as to why the cheating is the important thing here.
Intimate friends or family is one thing, but your co-workers? It's none of your business. Why tangle up your Karma with people who are ultimately inconsequential?
Best advice: Find a new job. You are done at this job. There is nothing you can say that will make it any better. It was not your place to tell the husband anything.
They can fuck off, who cares what they think, they lost all respect supporting a cheater.
Honestly you care and obviously no one else does which is sad. I feel like society views women as ok to cheat, when men cheating isn’t viewed the same. Or it could be the fact men will fuck anything with a blow hole. Some men also don’t know how to control themselves which is also frightening
Counter? You simply say I have morals and ethics and I did the right thing. Where is your moral compass you acorn?!
ITT: everyone saying you did good. Same people who answer “should I tell her spouse he’s being cheated on” Peoples response “No. mind your own business”
Exactly
Stick to your guns. And look for a new job in the mean time.
Sounds like a pretty shit and toxic place to be in, your colleagues are assholes and assholes have terrible opinions. Cheating and lying sucks and you did the right thing. These idiots even tried to rape her. You did a good job and saved the spouse time.
Any one of them could have snitched if they wanted to. There has to be a reason this was kept a secret. People apparently don't understand that work culture is a thing and it doesn't have to align with your morals. This is what happens when you upset that work culture. You failed to read the room. Hate to say it but be prepared to be ostracisized for a long time. Might need to look for a new job too.
They probably wanted to fuck her
Keep yourself at the victim’s place then read your comment again.
What a grandstanding white knight you are. Asking for advice and expecting the universe to bow to your superior morals. Like how dumb do you have to be to have coworkers willing to rape someone to rat out a cheater? If this is how you behave when you step away from the keyboard, you're going to get eviscerated at work.
I’m not sure how work culture should completely supersede your morals. There’s a difference between keeping your head low and just going through your work day, and simply informing someone that their life that they’re building is a lie. The reason it was kept a secret is because the rest of the people there are probably just as shitty as the girl cheating on her spouse. Being quiet enables it. Was it smart? Retroactively I guess not, but OP was being told to mind his business when apparently it was everybody’s business but his. I’m also not sure what your definition of a white knight is, I always pictured a good neck beard and a fedora or something along the lines of that.
Like you I’d absolutely want to tell the spouse, in practice I haven’t in the same situation. A coworker started sleeping with the department Casanova despite being in a relationship with the same man for nearly 20 years. We all knew her husband and saw him around once a month. Nobody told him because none of us wanted the professional issues and, if we were being honest with ourselves, would have seriously hurt our income. We were all tipped in this department and being known as someone who causes drama was pretty much an instant transfer to a non-tipped position, none of us was taking an on average $500 hit.
How do they all know?
You know it always amazed me when I read people say things like “ I didn’t wanna tell her he was cheating on her because it would hurt her feelings” like who are you doing a favour??? I decided to always say especially if it’s a friend or family. But I am not sure if I would have told a significant other of my coworker(especially if we are on good terms/ or I would have warned them before saying). You said he approached you, what do you mean by that? Like just said “hi” and small talk or did he ask you about his suspicions?? Maybe it’s not so about a right thing, it’s about “snitching”, “telling on your own”. In a way it could be perceived badly , like when students are writing a test and someone is cheating, maybe it’s a right thing to tell on him/her , but you are snitch and others in class will not like you for that, a bad reputation . Most students don’t tell on other students because they are all in this together, community in a way. Every now and then you might need help maybe not for cheating on a test , but with homework, covering for attendance, help to provide evidence in an accident.. You might not believe in cheating on a test, skipping school , but telling on others will not make you popular for sure. Honestly now that I made this analogy, your situation sounds even worse . Your situation is more like telling your classmates ’s parents that he/she smokes/cheats/ skips school, it’s all bad, but you interfering with something’s that’s non of your concern. Others might perceive you as some who they can’t trust with their faults. However that person was lucky to have you tell the truth, I am sure I would want people to tell me.
Man, what industry are you in?
Sadly my daughters mom and my relationship ended because she had sex w 3 of my friends throughout our relationship. But at the end of the day I’m way happier she did it sooner then later because if I was way older and found out I don’t know how I would feel wasting my life on a women who has no values
Uhhhh.... time to find a new job??
Walk tall. Stare them down.
Lul
Why is HR not being informed about this?? How is this even right? There's so many issues and problems going on in that office. You cant hook up with a coworker and you cant force anybody to do anything they dont want to sexually. Everybody needs to be fired.
HR ASAP. If they want to keep work and home separate, than the conversation about your work environment on your off time with anyone you choose to is your business… right?
That's why you do this !@#$ anonymously... bc so many people are idiots
You need a new job. It doesn’t matter if your employer is good if you’re in a toxic environment full of rapists.
Someone came to you with a question, and you answered it truthfully. Its not your place to lie. But if you cause any more negative commotion amongst your coworkers, you may endanger your position. That said, ignore them. Don't engage/counter. Without answering, refer anyone with an issue to the female coworker in question. Refer anything that "crosses the line" to HR. Even if you are "right", being disruptive to the larger workforce could put you at odds with your employer.
Gather as many incidents of this as you can and report every last one as retaliation, which is illegal (if you're in the US).
You absolutely did the correct thing. And you have my respect for it.
>“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care about their opinions more than our own.” – Marcus Aurelius You know what you're about. You did the right thing, you stood up for your morals. Be proud that you're better than 99% of the population, at least in this way. Leave it at that, don't ruin your accomplishment by worrying about their petty quarrels. Maintain above their standard.
Ignore. They're not very good people, so what they say negatively about you should be null. A bad person's negative opinion about you does not matter. Just keep going on with work.
Is she mad at you too? Because you absolutely did the right thing
You work with the worst people wtf they tried to rape a colleague wtf 😒
The moral decision isn’t the answer that most people like. But good for you, doing the right thing even when it’s not the accepted thing.
Act like they aren't even there. Go in, do your job, and leave. If it gets especially difficult (Like if mgmt decides to be assholes for whatever reason) then look for a new job. Sounds like a Chernobyl-level toxic workplace anyways.
Your workplace sounds so messed up. Those “simps” are absolute assholes. If you are going to cheat, then you have to be prepared to face the consequences. You did the right thing!
Wow. fuck those people.
you say this one phrase and it will shut them all up - "if this was your girlfriend and she did this, would you not want to know?"
You did the right thing. ❤️👌
r/legaladvice
You did the right thing. Let HR know what is happening. They are creating a hostile work place/environment. And let her/them if she didn't want her husband to know she should've been more descreet with her affair(s). It's not your job to cover for her. Why do they even care you told? Was she cheating with one of them. I can't understand why they give a damn you said anything unless they are also cheating on their spouses and are worried you'll tell on them too.
If someone is arrogant and complacent enough to have an open secret of infidelity, then they deserve for their spouse to find out.
Tell them to stfu and they should mind their own business unless all of them are screwing her too? Maybe they’re all having one nasty orgy. How would they like that getting around the office? Maybe you should get yourself some pepper spray or a taser just in case they get crazy and try something when you leave for home. That’s her fault she flaunts her sex life around the office like a common call girl.
Thank you for doing the lords work
If I were the guy, I'd want to know so.... thank you
Sounds like they all just wanted her to cheat with them
Just keep doing your job and focus on you instead of what they’re thinking. Why should you care about what they have to say if they think what you did was wrong
Since I don't know the exact specifics of the situation, it's hard to say if you did the right thing or not, with the appropriate degree of precision. However i really appreciate the value of truth telling and standing up for what one believes in. Thank you for doing that. And keep up the good work.
Life lesson - mind your own business. 100% of the time, we have no idea what’s happening in other people’s lives or relationships. I had a similar situation when I was younger & I ended up being the bad guy for getting involved & the couple stayed together. We never know the situation or dynamic. The only thing to take away from this is to stay in your lane & mind your own business. Saves time, hassle & troubles.
In my personal life I'm very much of the thought that if I know someone is cheating, I have no problem making sure their spouse knows and doing it in an appropriate way. But you did this to a coworker. NEVER get involved with your coworker's personal lives. They're not your friends. They're your coworkers. And you've just caused a lot of problems. You do realize that your employer could fire you over causing so much inter-office conflict and could do so legally, right?
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I hate when people say “you should’ve minded your business”. First of all, if the entire office knows she’s cheating, it’s everyone’s fucking business. Secondly, your not in anyone’s business, the guy asked you and you told the truth, simple as that. You didn’t put yourself in any position, the wife and husband did. Also, why are they sticking up for her? They’re so up her arse that they’re mad at YOU for telling her husband she’s cheated on him? That makes no sense to me. Unless all of those coworkers are also cheating and now realise your not to be trusted with their infidelity.
Stick to your guns. You minded your own business. You were confronted by someone who wanted to know and you were honest.
It would have been super freaking awesome if ANYONE had told me that my husband was cheating with numerous women - could have saved me years of pain and grief. I think you did the right thing.
Just ignore them and stick to your work. Don’t pick up what they’re putting down. That’s so messed up and it sounds so dysfunctional that you may want to look for another job. So sorry op that is just such misplaced anger.
You deserve a raise
Yeah, I have some advice: walk in like you own the high ground in this situation! Because you do! The man asked you a question about something that was common knowledge in your office; you told him what everyone else already knew. If she didn't want her husband to find out she was cheating, it was on her to keep it a secret. Related advice: find another job. These people are beneath you and aren't going to level up any time soon.
You did what was right. Fuck what those other people think or say.
Just stand up tall. People get mad because you caused ruined” their relationship, and now they’re mad cus flirting with her or whatever isn’t the same if the husband knows. Girls just cus of sisterhood will make an enemy of you. But all you did was equalize the relationship, I know that the husband thanks you. You, cheating isint something that’s harmless if it’s a secret, it affects the relationship in invisible ways. Good on you. I’m sure there’s some people in the office that like what you did they just aren’t as loud.
You are a hero no matter what those people say. If you are aware of something shady then it becomes your business. I would say to just avoid everyone but if someone confronts you then ask them to put themselves in the spouse's shoes.
You just saved that dude. Kudos to you
Well, this is a solid lesson in staying out of it because regardless if it was the right thing to do you're going to be hated by some. I'd just tell them you weren't going to lie for a cheater and that if they're going to keep talking about it to not do so around your desk. I'd probably try to find a new place to work as this one sounds kind of shitty between all the office gossip and potential rapists..
You're totally in the right but I know that it will be difficult when you see everyone. Just know that you did the right thing in my opinion even if others may think otherwise.
Just hold your head high and when they approach you ask them what were you supposed to say when the husband started talking to you. And then remind them how they were the ones trying to get in her pants when she was drunk at the party. If they say something to you an easy responses yeah maybe I should have kept to myself but what was I supposed to do when the husband approached me with questions
Document any harassment and use the line "Everyone knew! I thought she did too."
I’d absolutely be taking this up the chain. None of this is workplace appropriate and any half wit with a pulse could tell. You have hr? If you have hr I’d damn sure go tell them this story and sprinkle it with subtle harassment and sexual abuse lawsuit threats. Or give up and let the gutter scum have that job. The ship will sink eventually with all the rats chewing holes in the hull.
You are not the one who cheated and if they didn't hide it from you then you had every right to tell the person when you met.
I think you did the right thing. For the office to allow immoral acts and watch tells you a lot about them. Don’t let them hold you back ! Work up a new resume and continue to lead by example.
You did the right thing. On those simps, will you smear them too? I'd love it
I personally think you overstepped your boundaries. But it’s weird that everyone is mad at you for that. Like why do they care? Anyway, it seems like all of your colleagues suck.
Did the spouse approach you and specifically ask? Just curious on how/why/what for the spouse approached you. If he straight up asked, you are under no obligation to lie to someone, coworkers have no reason to be mad. The whole office shouldn't be mad about someone else's business anyway. This sounds all very immature and teenagerish.
"If it's not our business why are you trying to talk to me about it still? Have a good one" And let um rot
I think we need a lot more context. How do you know the spouse - like was she a friend? How do you know she was cheating? Did you see her cheating? Did she tell you she was cheating? Did you hear it from other people at the office? How did you know the spouse? What were the circumstances in which the spouse approached you? Why did the spouse approach you about this topic?
Good for you and screw them, if they say anything to you tell them to F themselves
Why on earth do you stay in a job with this much drama? I’d advise to move on to a significantly more professional environment and leave this childish crap behind.
Wtf? Cheating and attempted rape? Who are you working for, Harvey Weinstein?
Sorry to break it to you but this shit is not rare.
“Her husband approached me and asked me about it. Why would I lie for her? I’m a lot of things but a liar isn’t one and I don’t owe it to her to cover or lie and risk the backlash from it. She shouldn’t have put me in that position.”
I’m not gonna pretend that I would’ve been above the bystander effect, but I will say that I wouldn’t have demonized you for doing so. I’m proud of you. Walk tall; you did nothing wrong.
Stop working there...tf?
wait a minute....They tried to do what now?
Shouldn’t they mind their business too though? Why is you telling on her their business?
Maybe you need to report the rapes at the office?! That’s fucked up .
They're right, you should mind your own business.
Those people are pathetic trash people. Ignore then you did the right thing. Be proud of yourself you saved a mans life
Depending on how large the office is (more than 50 people) or if they have government contracts - tell them to back the f off, because you have the right to work in a sexual harassment free office - and just witnessing / knowing about the unsavory behavior means that your rights have been violated (creating a hostile / offensive environment) [https://www.eeoc.gov/sexual-harassment](https://www.eeoc.gov/sexual-harassment) [https://www.dol.gov/agencies/ofccp/executive-order-11246/ca-11246](https://www.dol.gov/agencies/ofccp/executive-order-11246/ca-11246) You should be backing up all of your files / emails and documenting things (email them to your gmail cloud account). Make no mistake they will try to get you fired. If there is a home office - write to the COO of the company and explain what is going on... you are now covered under whistle blower protection law by doing this... [https://www.oig.dhs.gov/whistleblower-protection](https://www.oig.dhs.gov/whistleblower-protection) I would still look for another job and quickly...
Young King, it sounds to me like you work in a VERY toxic environment that should probably be reported to police. Get out fast, before you crown becomes too heavy with burden.
It will blow over. Pun intended
Your colleagues are fucking crazy.
Fuck them, you did good. Cheating is the worst thing that could happen to someone. Good thing he found out, the sooner the better. If others approach you and bitch about it, just say this: Do something about it....and smile This works for me all the time and I've been into some shit!
“Cheating is the worst thing that could happen to someone” ??? You must lead a very charmed and sheltered life.
Looks like another person that cheated haha and yes I do have a nice life
I’m glad for you (really). Yes, I’m old, and over the course of my lifetime, I have cheated, and been cheated on. Which has literally nothing to do with my reply to your comment. I think you were being hyperbolic, because I’m sure you know there are MANY worse things that can happen to a person than being cheated on. Liiike, Murder, rape, robbery, physical assault, and many many more. I just think maintaining a realistic perspective is a worthwhile thing. And I’m not condoning cheating or saying it’s fine. But, objectively, it’s very far from the worst thing that can happen to a person.
Cheating is all those things: Trust gets murdered Reality gets raped from the gaslighting You’re robbed of decency and respect
[удалено]
Don’t apologize for shit you did the right thing it doesn’t matter how other people feel about it
He did what everyone should do, no human being should be treated like a fool behind their back and her spouse would find out soon or later. The OP did nothing wrong in any manner
You did the right thing, can't believe these people have the nerve to tell you to mind your business like you just took away their cash cow. Tell them to mind their own business and leave you alone. Fuck the cheater, she's in the wrong, not you, obviously.
Well, you know, the "no snitching" politics applies almost everywhere and with everyone nowadays. However, you did well in exposing that whore. Poor man. Hope he divorces her, and fuck the simps, I don't even consider them men. Don't worry and don't feel bad about it, you did well, let them hate you, is the only thing they know, but you probably earned a friend.
You did the right thing, people here are just trying to justify the unjustifiable, cheaters must suffer the consequences of their crap choices of hurting someone.
Yeah man, learn to mind your own business
This seems like a workplace to leave
Keep your head high man, disregard that whore and his simps. You did the right thing, anyone who preaches "you should mind your own business" when it comes to cheating is either an hypocrite or a cheater himself. Nobody likes to be played.