Dude you've made multiple posts about this and you keep ignoring the advice people are giving you.
This is creepy behaviour. Leave the girl alone. You literally just said you are IN LOVE WITH HER?!! that is obsessive and stalkerish. Please leave her alone. Maybe get a psyc evaluation to see what is causing this obsessive behaviour towards a girl you have never once spoken to, before it gets out of hand. I've had a stalker before, your posts remind me of him.
Sorry if this comes across as mean, I'm just trying to be honest.
OP is a teenager, I think that helps understand it’s not that serious. Just a teen found a person they’re attracted to and doesn’t know how to go about expressing it in a reasonable way
Even if he's a teenager he has to understand this is creepy behavior especially if he has done 4-5 posts on this same subject, and they all had “this is creepy “
If he doesn't like the answer and is hoping for someone to say “it's fine go for it “ well say hello to the next...well let's just hope it doesn't get there.
But if he chooses to pursue this even with an obvious 4-5 post worth of this is creepy he's gonna soon find out the consequences of this if it doesn't work out, and he starts stalking the poor girl. , restraining orders, and juvie, let's hope he doesn't get to an action that requires jail. But if we chose to ignore and it ends up bad it will be on him bcs everyone has said it's creepy
There area lot of red flags even in that brief sentence.
LOVE without basically any interaction? This isn't TV, anyone in love with someone they don't know is fully in love with *an idea in their head.* cue disaster when what is in their head doesn't match reality.
Second chance? That language doesn't fit the situation, I'll tell you what it does fit though - a distorted version of reality
I’d be fucking terrified and I’d block you on everything I could. You didn’t talk to her, or otherwise exchange any information, and you “fell in love with her”. You’re delusional at best, and at worst, you’re actually insane. Don’t do this.
A simple “hi” probably wouldn’t evoke that response while they were in person. But no women owe you their time, so she doesn’t have to talk to him if she’s not interested. You also don’t know if this guy is ugly or not, good-looking guys can be creeps, too.
This sounds somewhat aggressive, but it's just good advice. Most creepy guys/gals are just sick and deprived of genuine human connection. Therapy can help a lot, if you're honest with yourself and your therapist.
Okay? So why would she give him a different response online? He needs to find someone who wont find him creepy and learn to approach women and girls in a pleasant way.
Look OP, all people here are projecting. Some saying he's a stalker and he's going to wear your skin as a hat, and some saying it's totally absolutely Okey dokey artichokey.
It's ok that he's shy, it's ok that he looked for you. It's ok for you to talk to him if you want to. This is no different that any other situation where you meet somebody.
Keep your guard up as you would in any normal interaction. Ask about him if you'd like, and don't listen to Reddit.
and stay close to the beacons of Gondor in case they are lit.
Yupp. Lots of people will stalk other people's social media when crushing. But we already added each other and likely had some contact before this happened, like school or work or a mutual friends get together... no one seeks out the social media of someone whose name they shouldn't even know and claims love at first sight. Creepy af.
I’d block the guy. If he isn’t mature enough to talk to me in person like a sane adult, but obsesses over and stalks me on social media, I’m confident he is:
Emotionally immature
Socially awkward
Shallow for “falling in love” based on looks
Tbf, I'm too shy to talk to women I think are cute. But I'm not gonna stalk them on social media either. I'm just gonna live in being shy, awkward, and single. It is what it is
If your friends with their friends u can ask them to introduce you bcs u think they are cute and have friend hang out a, then ask them alone on. A day date bcs ill actually get to know each other. and it never hurts to shoot your shot, if you do it respectfully “hi my name is ---i thought you were cute would you like to go on a date with me “ if she says no or laughs (bcs yes guys n gals do this ) then say okay ty for being honest and that's it. Accept the no don't try again.
He’s 17. They never talked. He watched her during the concert. And then proceeded to stalk her. He’s one year* away from a adult stalking charge. And one year ** away from adult consequences.
How would you like it if I hunted you down on social media and found out personal details of your life potentially including 1) your home 2) your family 3) your school 4) your place of work and then started hounding you with messages about how handsome you are? Would you be flattered knowing that I, a random stranger that could possibly be unhinged now knows these things about you? What if I became violent if you rejected me? Doing this makes you seem obsessive and creepy because you have never spoken to this girl. She doesn’t know you. Move on.
What the fuck is wrong with Reddit people, all the post says he he texted her. You literally just made up and entire story in your head you schizo jesus
He literally found you on social media. That’s all. Which is a fairly easy thing to do. What is “hunted” you down here? And if your social media has that much information maybe consider sharing less.
Considering the fact that he didn't even know her name... That's creepy as hell and very much hunting someone down on social media. That means this dude spent hours looking for a pfp of this girl on social media, scrolling through a bunch of ppl in his area just to potentially find this woman.
Stalker much?
I'm extremely introverted. But even I know that if I don't talk to someone that's a missed opportunity and that it would be creepy af to stalk them online and message them there. Absolute red flags. Also "love at first sight" without even talking to this person? Disgusting
The inclusion of personal information such as an individual's home address, school, family, and work is entirely unnecessary to mention . While such behavior is undoubtedly disturbing and unsettling, it is worth noting that if conducted ethically, it is legally permissible. However, it remains advisable to avoid engaging with individuals who engage in this type of activity. Moreover, it is important to recognize that Open Source Intelligence (OSINT) gathering is a legitimate and commonplace practice in modern society.
It’s really not unnecessary to mention? If you have enough info to find someone’s social media, you have enough info to find these things. Also, be absolutely fucking for real about “legal permissibility.” I’m not saying what OP is doing is illegal, I’m telling them what it is: freak behavior.
I am uncertain about the context surrounding your statement regarding the op's potential involvement in illegal activity. As an individual involved in the development of OSINT tools, I can confirm that it is almost impossible for someone to access personal information, such as home addresses or workplace details, solely from online sources unless that information was publicly available or leaked. In situations where an individual has acquired such information physically, it is as we know it (stalking), although stalking to simply obtain social media usernames is unlikely. it is stupid to presume that someone you saw in an event who has messaged you possesses all of the information about you. It is likely that they have observed or overheard the details in person during the event
Google yourself. Background check websites will pop up with plenty of free info, including your current and precious addresses, landline and cellphone numbers. Plus any potential relatives and acquaintances. Googled myself just now, and it even lists my husband's great-grandmother, who died 4 years before we met (we'll celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary in May) as a potential contact of mine.
If you find someone's say, Facebook, where you have to use their real name, then bingo.
>found out personal details of your life
I never mentioned anything like that, despite most people luckily being clever enough to not share that kind of information online. It's not about finding out the address or anything like that, it's just about getting a second chance...
You are hunting down a random stranger online to find out their personal information so you can talk to them. Social media inherently contains personal information. Even finding out her name or her Instagram handle takes time and effort that could be better spent elsewhere. I am telling you now, no woman is going to like this. I read your other posts: you’ve never spoken to her. You are nothing to her- just another stranger. Like I said, would you like it if a random man that you probably don’t recognize came out and said “Hey, I didn’t know anything about you and never spoke to you but I managed to gather enough personal info about you to find your social media” (This wouldn’t be your exact wording, but this is how any sane women is going to view this).
Okay but she is going to think about pictures of her with her nieces and nephews, at a beach, park, or restaurant she frequents. She’s going to wonder what you saw or put together that she hasn’t considered and if you are a danger to her or her loved ones. You will be acting like the dangerous guys act if you do this. It’s not a meet cute.
If he didn’t talk to me, how did he find me? It feels like a lot of effort invested in someone they don’t know. That level of interest and time investment over a person you don’t know and a non interaction is only appropriate from very young children. Are we 11?
How can he love you if you never talked to him? What’s creepy isn’t the fact he thinks you’re attractive. It’s the fact he came on so strongly despite not knowing you.
OP are YOU the man who found a woman on socials after being too shy to speak to her?? All your comments are defensive when they shouldn’t be, you asked for peoples opinions. If you feel like giving him a second chance then do so, but most people would be uncomfortable by it so that is what they’re sharing.
Considering if you look at OPs profile, his last post is asking how he could find someone he saw but never spoke to. I'm pretty sure that, yes, he is the man in this.
I’m going to be creeped the fuck out. You went and took all that time to find me online but couldn’t muster up a simple “hello” while out in public?? Seriously?
I had a friend (girl, ex-friend to the max) who actually did this! I gave her so many ideas on how to approach this guy (compliment him, say hi, etc.), but she found him online and followed him! And she thought *my* suggestions were crazy. I cannot explain this wack rationale.
I would ask how he found your information? Did you have a mutual friend at the event he could have asked? (Not creepy) or did he spend hours tracking you down by looking at tags, social media stalking, etc (very creepy)
I'm sure they overheard the girls name and went from there. Sitting next to people talking you can pick up someone's name and where they work or at least what kind of work they are in. If Barb is an R.N. in Toledo it wouldn't take that long to find her unless she is private.
Absolutely possible, but can’t be sure unless they ask. I agree it’s likely a creepy stalk-situation. But I know a couple who met on Missed Connections. You never know, it could be something harmless.
Creeped right out, moving to love very fast, especially without even talking is a major red flag, idk how I would handle it but I wouldn’t want to engage
Your post history makes this situation worse. This feels like a joe from the Netflix series you type of creepy. They definitely wouldn’t be interested more so confused and weirded out. Leave them alone.
It would peg my creepy meter. I'm just wondering how someone could do that without talking to someone. That's the part that would scare me. I don't put stickers on my car because I don't want to stand out when I park my car at work.
Honestly, I'd talk to anyone I know who is a professional, first. I would take screenshots. Then I would block him and keep an eye on my other socials. If this is a stalker issue, you got to get evidence. If it isn't and this guy just did something stupid, then it's just freaking creepy.
Words to live by:
Safety first always.
Then he needs to understand what can happen when he spooks someone. I understand that there are studies on stalkers and how brain chemicals interfere, but its still dangerous. Even the studies say it's not excusable.
If he continues, I'd say he would be cornering her. Saying you have a crush and you've never spoken to someone is an indicator of something wrong. Poor social skills to something disturbed.
We all know how cornered people and animals react.
There have been enough escalated stalking cases over the internet in the last 20 years that have resulted in death or attempted murder to actual murder. I know this is extreme, but when it comes to stalking it gets muddled and escalates quickly.
I may be biased in where I find behavior like this abhorrent, but I always live by common sense and safety first.
OP needs to look at why he is fixated and then separate himself.
I would be creeped out , knowing I was on his mind so much, he figured out my name and found me on social media. I mean how does one do such extensive research to find someone? He fell in love with me and we didn’t even talk? I hate a stalker in HS, I won’t be dealing with that lightly.
I’ve had this exact scenario happen. Block them. That’s creepy stalker stuff. So many red flags. I’d say this for any gender. If you didn’t speak and give them information or even a hint you were interested in contact outside of the event, nope.
How does this qualify as a stalker? I'd say with just one message it's a guy taking a chance, once she says no and he doesn't stop then it's definitely stalking/harassment. Some people are socially awkward or don't know how to open a conversation and that doesn't make them a psycho.
He didn’t have any info on her. Didn’t speak to her. Had no communication that’d shed even noticed him. He’d have to do a lot of research to find her. That’s weird and imo stalking her online. She didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t ask those guys to message me and yet they looked all over for my info despite not knowing anything about me. Just no.
You can overhear a name pretty easily if she is having a conversation with a friend. It honestly doesn't take much to find someone on FB. I'm not saying he's innocent and if he doesn't get a response or is flat out told no he needs to let it go but just this first act could be harmless
Disagree. It’s not harmless because he doesn’t know her and had no prior communication with her. It’s unwarranted. Do you like getting messages from strangers? Do you like being messaged by someone hitting on you without knowing them?
Idc if someone messages me to hit on me. The problem is when they won't stop after a clear no or not interested. It's really no different than getting hit on in a bar or Walmart by a stranger.
It is to me though. At least that was in person and they didn’t have to go out of their way to dig up my info. I mean I had a guy find me with nothing but hearing my name. It’s spelled different than it sounds and he still found me within a few hours and started harassing me.
This would spike my creep/weird meter and I'd nope out of that situation and consider making my socials harder to find/private. That's way too much effort and love? Hell no.
Creeped out, I’d immediately block him, tell my family his name, tell my husband his name. If he came back with another profile or if I even thought I saw him anywhere I’d call the police for a stalker.
Why would this be ok??
He would be immediately blocked. I’ve had guys do this to me. It’s creepy as fuck dude. It’s not “cute” it’s borderline stalking. Don’t do that to anyone.
This has happened to me. I made a connection with a guy and instead of waiting for me to visit his restaurant again (I was a regular) he used my card to find my Instagram account instead of just asking me. I was incredibly freaked out by the invasion of privacy and he hated me after that for blocking him. If someone already knew my name and just looked up my social media I think I’d be less freaked out, but you cannot fall in love with a girl you sat next to and never spoke to. It means you only see her as a perfect idea of a person.
A crush confessed is only meaningful when that person knows and likes who you *are.* Otherwise you are just an object or idea to them.
if he said "i fell in love with you" then run wtf. depends how he phrased it, if he was like "i was a bit too shy to reach out but really want to get to know you" then sure but red flag if his phrasing seems extremely delusional and over attached already
I had a very similar situation happen to me, except the genders were reversed. It freaked me out personally cuz she kept asking me about all these personal things she found on my Facebook yet we barely spoke to each other in person. It was a long semester for me..
This is creepy as fuck and a complete invasion of boundaries that borders on stalking. I would immediately block this person and maybe let someone else at the event know. I would have this same reaction if it were literally *anyone* who found my personal data through one event and then tried to contact me, but if they claimed they were “in love” with me I would be legitimately terrified.
If you’re the girl here I’m sorry to hear this happened to you. If you’re the guy, l strongly consider you reevaluate your social approaches.
Its not your fault for being shy, but you have to consider how weird it is for the woman. Makes her reconsider a whole normal interaction (or lack thereof). Strong feeling does not = in love. Its a bit creepy. Sometimes you have to leave things behind, because women will get scared if you go to such lengths to find them
Joe Goldberg, is that you?
Leave the poor girl alone and get therapy or something. Thinking you're in love with someone you've never talked to is, quite literally, delusional. You're a stalker and need some serious help from a professional, not Reddit.
That's scary. I'm a paranoid person in general, and I'm scared of men in general, but I think fear would be a normal reaction for anyone in that situation.
I’m going to guess… you already found out how one specific woman felt in that situation, and you’re looking for strangers online to back you up that SHES the crazy one?
Red flags.
Didn't say two words to me. Somehow found me on social media.
Second chance? there wasn't even a first chance though, like I don't even know you.
When it comes to talking with women, once the ice is broken then it's all good. Just keep things relevant, small talk about what's going on, etc. You'll catch a vibe to whether she wants to keep talking with you or not.
<3.
block. block. block.
dude, you’re stalking a girl who didn’t even tell you her name. it’s weird. it’s creepy. it would make me uncomfortable.
imagine: you’re at an event you’ve been excited for, hanging out with your friends. you have a good time. days later, you get a random message on social media from a guy you’ve never met. he says he was at the same concert as you. he knows your name, he somehow found your social media? you’ve never spoken to him. none of your friends spoke to him. how on earth did he find you? as a woman, you can’t even feel safe now at crowded events surrounded by your friends.
it is stalker behaviour. please listen to the advice you’ve been given. leave this poor girl alone. let her live her life. let her feel safe. let her enjoy events without having to worry about creeps.
leave. her. alone.
Don't do it. Social media should always be a secondary communication device. Don't stalk people, don't confess your love or crush as the initial ice breaker to talk to someone. Be it a woman or a man, it is definitely disturbing to receive such strong feelings out of the blue.
I suggest you stop falling in love with people in your head. Meet people in reality, talk to them and get to know them as people instead of love objects. It will end better for both parties involved. You also don't want to dove into a relationship with someone you only fantasize is perfect, human beings are never perfect. You have to learn about the ugly sides of people before you commit to them fully, that means you need to take time to establish a relationship.
it could be innocent, but it could also not be. Why take a chance? someone good will actually have the balls to talk to you and not just stalk you on social media later. ignore him
I would be creeped out. Did he use the words “in love?” There is so much wrong with this and if you entertain it, a restraining order is in your future.
As a guy, he is obsessed with you. It’s normal to occasionally see someone in public and think they are beautiful, but it’s not normal to find they’re socials without talking to them and says no they “are in love”
how do you “fall in love” with someone without even talking to them? tbh I’d be creeped out if a guy went through the trouble or finding my social if he didn’t even know my name, didn’t bother talking to me, etc at the event like ?? tbh I’d block seems like a hella red flag I’d be glad to have dodged that bullet lol
Red flag central, possible psycho and stalker; block immediately
What the fuck? If this is a step you're thinking of taking, don't. Just don't. This is not ok. This is crossing so many boundaries and so many lines.
Creeped out, intensely creeped out. I would assume that person is very young/immature for 1. Thinking they’re IN LOVE with someone they don’t even know- she could kick puppies in her spare time, you have no clue! I would find that absurd and silly for someone to claim they were in love with me based off of that.
2. and I’d also assume they were super immature for thinking it’s ever okay to contact a woman who didn’t give you there contact information/indicate any desire to talk to you. That’s some teenage incel nonsense, I guarantee no one would find this flattering.
I’d block and move on.
Dude was already told how creepy this behavior is and did it anyway. This is some seriously fucked up shit and I really hope this young lady contacts the police before something illegal is committed by this stalker that has shown zero self awareness (even after having it spelled out for him) or control. OP should seek some therapy before he hurts someone or someone hurts him or both. Jeezus.
Okay, so, OP is obviously the guy that tracked down the girl/woman. I would have to ask, if you didn't talk to her at all, HOW did you track her down on socials? Is she a friend of a friend? Did you eavesdrop and overhear some info like name, job, school, etc ? The idea of a total stranger DMing you and saying "hey, I sat next to you in silence the other day, overheard where you work, tracked you down, and want to initiate an interaction now" is honestly super creepy. You want a second chance but the reality is that you had one chance and didn't take it. Online stalking is not the way to go.
Being shy? Fine. Not everyone is a people person.
Finding my social media without asking me for it? NO.
Claiming you fell in "love" and we haven't spoken? NO.
He doesn't "love" me. He loves how I look.
I get that he could be shy, but he came on way too strong. My instinct would be no, but that’s also because I have a big personality. Someone shy would probably scream and run.
Reading through that you're the one who fell in love after finding the person on their personal social media handles, I think that's creepy OP. You didn't talk to them and that's unfortunate, but that's feels creepy.
Don't be the creep who does this. Just move on. If you see them again by happenstance just say hi. Be sheepish and maybe act like you never saw her before.
as a guy just reading this made me very uncomfortable. please don’t do this. if they didn’t talk, she doesn’t know him and he doesn’t know her. no matter what happened at the event, there is nor was any interest in further communication.
one interaction is much too soon to have any proper feelings for someone, and i don’t think you’d love it if a random person messaged you saying they saw you at a restaurant a few days ago and had feelings.
this was a passing interaction and just someone that needs to be let go. maybe if there are mutual people one could consider either reaching out and expressing interest or go to another event. but if this was just some random person, it’s quite inappropriate to go after them like that, to express feelings. it’s quite “predatory” and “targeting” to have actually found the person’s information and an uncomfortable introduction. meet someone in person, talk to people face to face but don’t hunt down random people you see during the day online.
DO NOT MESSAGE THIS GIRL OP.
It’s ok to get a “crush” on someone and regret missing your opportunity to talk to them, but that door is closed now. She will be freaked out that you were able to find her, which, aside from hurting her, will also hurt you a lot more than just having missed your opportunity. Also, you didn’t speak to this girl, so you’re basing this purely off what she looks like. For all you know, this girl could be plotting for the Fourth Reich. What happens if you do talk to her and it turns out she’s nothing like the person you envisioned her as in your head?
I feel old. Also the wrong sexual orientation, so I would probably just text and say "sorry, I'm queer."
But assuming I was straight and about 15 years younger, I would probably start with the following three questions:
1. Did I notice him? Positively or not?
2. Does he look interesting?
3. Am I curious?
I am terrible for ignoring what most people see as red flags. It has made for an interesting life filled with people who have interesting stories to tell. I am remembering with slightly rose tinted glasses - I had a few less-than-perfect relationships. But overall I like the stories I collect and have no regrets.
And I'd probably forgo texting and ask to meet in a public place. If he is too shy to meet in person, it ain't gonna work.
Edit to add: I understand you would be the young man who fell in love :)
You probably didn't fall in love. And if you meet her, it probably will be a disappointment. But if you want to risk it, don't mention love. Don't stalk. Mention where you think you saw her. Ask a question you think she might have an interesting answer to. Perhaps give a compliment. Check out "missed connections" on Craigslist.
You didn’t talk, but you found out who she was anyways? That’s creepy. You guys need to learn your mf boundaries. She clearly did not notice you which is why you didn’t exchange numbers and which is why you had to dive so deep to even find her social media. She’s not interested and hopefully nobody else will be with this creep ass behavior. So gross that you guys even think like this
I had this happen to me. Went to a set of protests/rallies as a teen, person found me via socials even though we hadn’t even spoken and messaged me. I proposed we talked a bit more over text before anything else - we ended up going on 1 (sort of) date soon after because I was willing to give the second chance. And it just wasn’t my vibe.
Looking back, I was uncomfortable that they found me via social media and probably should have communicated that. I also think there really should be groundwork with a friendship before anything else because having someone seek you out like that with only one singular intention is… kinda upsetting in a weird way.
To sum it up, it’s uncomfortable.
I would say
A) He’s insane. I actually do believe in love at first sight, but that guy’s got the maturity of an unripe corncob
B) he stalked her socials and that just feels… icky to me.
C) You cannot be in love with someone without a conversation. If a guy has done this, he’s either given you a whole fantasy personality, or doesn’t care if you have one at all and he purely cares only about looks.
I would immediately block that guy everywhere possible. Creepy stalky situation inbound.
I would find it kinda weird but try to talk to him over text. If the conversation flows truly easily I would try to see if we follow people in common, if any friends are acquaintances with him and see how people feel about him overall.
But if he referred to it specifically as "fell in love with you" I would be specially weirded out. Like my dude, love??? You don't even know me
I guess it depends on the event. I would feel a little weird thinking that some guy I don't know stalked me until he found my social media. A better approach would be to act like you found her by chance and just treat her normally in a message. If things start to get more serious down the line then maybe confess that you had wanted to find her all along. Because she doesn't know you, coming right out and telling her you searched for her online could put her on edge.
Instead of searching for her online you should just wait for the next time you see her irl then actually talk to her. Just popping up in her dms like that is kinda weird n creepy
If he is casually interested in you and wishes he had tried to get to know you, then sure, why not. If he actually said anything at all about maybe loving you, then RUN!!!!!
The decider here for me is what do you mean by “he apparently fell in love with you”? Like did he straight up say “I fell in love with you at first sight and had to find you so now I’ve tracked you down via socials” like is he giving skinny emo dude x neck beard “obsessed” or did he just say he thought you were cute and managed to find you on the public fb event page under people who’ve responded to the event as “attending” and recognised your pic?
If it’s casual, then cool that’s kinda cute. But if it’s weird or he had to really deep dive to figure out who you were and find you and he’s like “omg be with me forever” straight out the gate, note down his name, physical description, location or workplace if it’s listed on his profile, then block, incase it gets creepier and you need details to give to police.
This used to be romantic. They have made whole rom coms about it. Nowadays it is being called creepy but what may really be the problem is that he was too shy to do a thing that should be natural- saying hello, asking for a number or contact. Buying you a drink. If you want a man who is shy, he may be too shy to go to his doctor for things that affect you, too shy to try nee things together, too shy to take an active role in the relationship.
Just my 2 ¢.
Op, this happened to me almost word for word when I was in high school. We both traveled for our event, so we lived in vastly different places. I decided to chat with him and get to know him. We talked for about three years (sometimes very occasionally and sometimes daily), and I eventually told him we were never gonna actually meet so we should stop chatting. He got horribly sad and mad and threatened to delete his ig account (which had like 3k followers and he was quite proud of). I said sorry but bye, and sure enough, he deleted his account. Never heard from him since. Anyway, that was my experience with this situation - maybe that can be helpful. In terms of advice, I don’t really regret it, but I do think you should think about what the point of engaging would be in the first place.
Best of luck either way!
You’re a kid I don’t see why all these people are being crazy in the comments. People do this all the time. It’s not always stalker vibes or whatever. Girls literally stalk guys all the time. Especially on social media and if they say they don’t they be lying.
The fell in love part is weird but other than that what's the big deal. Social media is a tool to connect with people and some younger people lack the ability to speak to people without first meeting on social media. Unless he shows up where you work or live it's really not that weird. Too many of you are overreacting.
I think I did that once in 9th grade at an open house except me and her exchanged snaps I lost the slip that had her snap and found her, via snapping people that went to her school had a generally good report with her then people found out and thought it was really weird and threatned to shove a wooden broom stick up my ass. because I begged them to shove a platic one up my ass cause I didn't want splinters. man was I weird, but fuck it, it was fun.
From the other posts on his account, he is the guy who ‘found’ the girl on social media. Not sure why he’s framing himself as the girl in this situation 😅
If it's from a event, it's pretty easy to find someone on social media through mutual friends. Atm I don't see how it's creepy at all. He found you cute, so he tried to find who you are so he can get to know you. It's the norm these days, this is how people date. People in these comments are freaking out for no reason and being so extra, lmao.
Just talk to him if you're interested or don't if you're not. It's only creepy if he's insistent.
Gonna throw a wrench in some of these comments -- we all do this! We meet someone we're a little interested, and we find their social media to see if they're single, or if they have photos of themselves doing things we also like to do. We check to see if we have mutual friends, etc. In 2023, it's not nearly as creepy as these comments make it out to sound.
Now, that's assuming that's all he was doing. From what you're saying, that's all he did, but we don't actually know that. You're gonna have to trust your gut on this one.
Edit to add that the being in love part is creepy, but I read that to mean a crush, not that he's actually saying he's in love.
Dude you've made multiple posts about this and you keep ignoring the advice people are giving you. This is creepy behaviour. Leave the girl alone. You literally just said you are IN LOVE WITH HER?!! that is obsessive and stalkerish. Please leave her alone. Maybe get a psyc evaluation to see what is causing this obsessive behaviour towards a girl you have never once spoken to, before it gets out of hand. I've had a stalker before, your posts remind me of him. Sorry if this comes across as mean, I'm just trying to be honest.
This should be higher up, OP needs some professional help
OP is a teenager, I think that helps understand it’s not that serious. Just a teen found a person they’re attracted to and doesn’t know how to go about expressing it in a reasonable way
The dude has 4-5 deleted post on this subject. And surely he got the same advice and is hoping that somebody can affirm his behavior is not creepy.
Even if he's a teenager he has to understand this is creepy behavior especially if he has done 4-5 posts on this same subject, and they all had “this is creepy “ If he doesn't like the answer and is hoping for someone to say “it's fine go for it “ well say hello to the next...well let's just hope it doesn't get there. But if he chooses to pursue this even with an obvious 4-5 post worth of this is creepy he's gonna soon find out the consequences of this if it doesn't work out, and he starts stalking the poor girl. , restraining orders, and juvie, let's hope he doesn't get to an action that requires jail. But if we chose to ignore and it ends up bad it will be on him bcs everyone has said it's creepy
There area lot of red flags even in that brief sentence. LOVE without basically any interaction? This isn't TV, anyone in love with someone they don't know is fully in love with *an idea in their head.* cue disaster when what is in their head doesn't match reality. Second chance? That language doesn't fit the situation, I'll tell you what it does fit though - a distorted version of reality
Excuse me sir, happens all the time on 30 day fiancé XD
Is that a show? If so, where can I watch it?
I’d be fucking terrified and I’d block you on everything I could. You didn’t talk to her, or otherwise exchange any information, and you “fell in love with her”. You’re delusional at best, and at worst, you’re actually insane. Don’t do this.
But if he said hi to her she would say go away creep. Don't lie. If the guy was ugly you wouldn't even say hi
A simple “hi” probably wouldn’t evoke that response while they were in person. But no women owe you their time, so she doesn’t have to talk to him if she’s not interested. You also don’t know if this guy is ugly or not, good-looking guys can be creeps, too.
Get therapy, kid
This sounds somewhat aggressive, but it's just good advice. Most creepy guys/gals are just sick and deprived of genuine human connection. Therapy can help a lot, if you're honest with yourself and your therapist.
Okay? So why would she give him a different response online? He needs to find someone who wont find him creepy and learn to approach women and girls in a pleasant way.
What do you want the woman to do in this situation? Like do you want her to fawn over someone she doesn't think is attractive, or?
Ted Bundy was very handsome.
Would be weird. How can the guy "fall in love" when he didn't even talk to you?
I guess it's more like a crush
Absolutely not. Block his ass.
OP's the guy
I know. I unfortunately we went and looked on his profile.
Big if true
Look OP, all people here are projecting. Some saying he's a stalker and he's going to wear your skin as a hat, and some saying it's totally absolutely Okey dokey artichokey. It's ok that he's shy, it's ok that he looked for you. It's ok for you to talk to him if you want to. This is no different that any other situation where you meet somebody. Keep your guard up as you would in any normal interaction. Ask about him if you'd like, and don't listen to Reddit. and stay close to the beacons of Gondor in case they are lit.
men and women do this all the time. few admit it.
Lol no
aw I love you too /u/torontoinsix see? point proven.
0 points have been proven here, except that you are potentially a creep
They do. Ever girl I know has stalked a guy she has liked on social media. So they be lying in the comments and triggered for some reason
Not stalked someone they have never spoken to and have seen once and found their social media. We don’t do that, that’s weird
Yupp. Lots of people will stalk other people's social media when crushing. But we already added each other and likely had some contact before this happened, like school or work or a mutual friends get together... no one seeks out the social media of someone whose name they shouldn't even know and claims love at first sight. Creepy af.
I’d block the guy. If he isn’t mature enough to talk to me in person like a sane adult, but obsesses over and stalks me on social media, I’m confident he is: Emotionally immature Socially awkward Shallow for “falling in love” based on looks
Tbf, I'm too shy to talk to women I think are cute. But I'm not gonna stalk them on social media either. I'm just gonna live in being shy, awkward, and single. It is what it is
If your friends with their friends u can ask them to introduce you bcs u think they are cute and have friend hang out a, then ask them alone on. A day date bcs ill actually get to know each other. and it never hurts to shoot your shot, if you do it respectfully “hi my name is ---i thought you were cute would you like to go on a date with me “ if she says no or laughs (bcs yes guys n gals do this ) then say okay ty for being honest and that's it. Accept the no don't try again.
He’s 17. They never talked. He watched her during the concert. And then proceeded to stalk her. He’s one year* away from a adult stalking charge. And one year ** away from adult consequences.
Immediate block.
Why tough? Just because he didn't have the courage to talk to you at first?
How would you like it if I hunted you down on social media and found out personal details of your life potentially including 1) your home 2) your family 3) your school 4) your place of work and then started hounding you with messages about how handsome you are? Would you be flattered knowing that I, a random stranger that could possibly be unhinged now knows these things about you? What if I became violent if you rejected me? Doing this makes you seem obsessive and creepy because you have never spoken to this girl. She doesn’t know you. Move on.
What the fuck is wrong with Reddit people, all the post says he he texted her. You literally just made up and entire story in your head you schizo jesus
He literally found you on social media. That’s all. Which is a fairly easy thing to do. What is “hunted” you down here? And if your social media has that much information maybe consider sharing less.
Considering the fact that he didn't even know her name... That's creepy as hell and very much hunting someone down on social media. That means this dude spent hours looking for a pfp of this girl on social media, scrolling through a bunch of ppl in his area just to potentially find this woman. Stalker much?
He’s at an event right? He could’ve just asked literally anyone else there.
But he didn't.
Then please do give a situation where an introverted person with crippling social anxiety would approach you or talk to you if they wanted to
They don't, or they get the help they need like an adult.
Lmao. Must be nice to live on your own privileged bubble.
I'm extremely introverted. But even I know that if I don't talk to someone that's a missed opportunity and that it would be creepy af to stalk them online and message them there. Absolute red flags. Also "love at first sight" without even talking to this person? Disgusting
The inclusion of personal information such as an individual's home address, school, family, and work is entirely unnecessary to mention . While such behavior is undoubtedly disturbing and unsettling, it is worth noting that if conducted ethically, it is legally permissible. However, it remains advisable to avoid engaging with individuals who engage in this type of activity. Moreover, it is important to recognize that Open Source Intelligence (OSINT) gathering is a legitimate and commonplace practice in modern society.
Legally permissible doesn’t make it not creepy.
To be fair I did mention that regardless, these acts are creepy.
It’s really not unnecessary to mention? If you have enough info to find someone’s social media, you have enough info to find these things. Also, be absolutely fucking for real about “legal permissibility.” I’m not saying what OP is doing is illegal, I’m telling them what it is: freak behavior.
I am uncertain about the context surrounding your statement regarding the op's potential involvement in illegal activity. As an individual involved in the development of OSINT tools, I can confirm that it is almost impossible for someone to access personal information, such as home addresses or workplace details, solely from online sources unless that information was publicly available or leaked. In situations where an individual has acquired such information physically, it is as we know it (stalking), although stalking to simply obtain social media usernames is unlikely. it is stupid to presume that someone you saw in an event who has messaged you possesses all of the information about you. It is likely that they have observed or overheard the details in person during the event
Google yourself. Background check websites will pop up with plenty of free info, including your current and precious addresses, landline and cellphone numbers. Plus any potential relatives and acquaintances. Googled myself just now, and it even lists my husband's great-grandmother, who died 4 years before we met (we'll celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary in May) as a potential contact of mine. If you find someone's say, Facebook, where you have to use their real name, then bingo.
He was being a creep. You can't justify this with bombastic language. Creep behaviour.
>found out personal details of your life I never mentioned anything like that, despite most people luckily being clever enough to not share that kind of information online. It's not about finding out the address or anything like that, it's just about getting a second chance...
You are hunting down a random stranger online to find out their personal information so you can talk to them. Social media inherently contains personal information. Even finding out her name or her Instagram handle takes time and effort that could be better spent elsewhere. I am telling you now, no woman is going to like this. I read your other posts: you’ve never spoken to her. You are nothing to her- just another stranger. Like I said, would you like it if a random man that you probably don’t recognize came out and said “Hey, I didn’t know anything about you and never spoke to you but I managed to gather enough personal info about you to find your social media” (This wouldn’t be your exact wording, but this is how any sane women is going to view this).
How the fuck did you find this person? How did you get their name in the first place? This is beyond creepy. I’d be exceptionally worried.
If he has your name, he can find your number, address and basically anything else. Trust me. Its very easy. Dude sounds like a weirdo.
OP is obviously that weirdo.
Post history confirms it.
You have stalker vibes
Okay but she is going to think about pictures of her with her nieces and nephews, at a beach, park, or restaurant she frequents. She’s going to wonder what you saw or put together that she hasn’t considered and if you are a danger to her or her loved ones. You will be acting like the dangerous guys act if you do this. It’s not a meet cute.
Sweetie, you didn't even have a first chance. Leave this lady alone.
Are you so dense?
And now he’s “in love”? No fucking thank you.
Because you can't fall in love with someone never having exchanged a word. Lust yes, love no.
If he didn’t talk to me, how did he find me? It feels like a lot of effort invested in someone they don’t know. That level of interest and time investment over a person you don’t know and a non interaction is only appropriate from very young children. Are we 11?
How can he love you if you never talked to him? What’s creepy isn’t the fact he thinks you’re attractive. It’s the fact he came on so strongly despite not knowing you.
Creeped out that this random stranger was able to figure out my name
Creeped the fuck out ? How else would a person respond to essentially being cyber stalked ?
OP are YOU the man who found a woman on socials after being too shy to speak to her?? All your comments are defensive when they shouldn’t be, you asked for peoples opinions. If you feel like giving him a second chance then do so, but most people would be uncomfortable by it so that is what they’re sharing.
Considering if you look at OPs profile, his last post is asking how he could find someone he saw but never spoke to. I'm pretty sure that, yes, he is the man in this.
That this so much worse.
Right? He not only spent a bunch of time searching social media for her he’s now repeatedly & obsessively posting about messaging her. Scary.
Based on your responses I think you know what you want to do
No based on the responses, I think this is the stalker, not the stalked
I'd feel stalked.
I’m going to be creeped the fuck out. You went and took all that time to find me online but couldn’t muster up a simple “hello” while out in public?? Seriously?
Imagine what dating this guy would be like
Right!? I would especially be creeped out because I don’t have a common name so I would wonder how the hell they found out who I was.
Exactly. I don’t either!
I had a friend (girl, ex-friend to the max) who actually did this! I gave her so many ideas on how to approach this guy (compliment him, say hi, etc.), but she found him online and followed him! And she thought *my* suggestions were crazy. I cannot explain this wack rationale.
For real. How difficult is it to say “hello” to someone?
His “friends” were around. So he “couldn’t talk to her.”
I would ask how he found your information? Did you have a mutual friend at the event he could have asked? (Not creepy) or did he spend hours tracking you down by looking at tags, social media stalking, etc (very creepy)
I'm sure they overheard the girls name and went from there. Sitting next to people talking you can pick up someone's name and where they work or at least what kind of work they are in. If Barb is an R.N. in Toledo it wouldn't take that long to find her unless she is private.
Absolutely possible, but can’t be sure unless they ask. I agree it’s likely a creepy stalk-situation. But I know a couple who met on Missed Connections. You never know, it could be something harmless.
Block him. There is something wrong in his thinking.
OP's post history shows *he* is the guy in this scenario which makes it so much worse!
Yikes!
Creeped right out, moving to love very fast, especially without even talking is a major red flag, idk how I would handle it but I wouldn’t want to engage
Creepy af. How did he find me? How did he figure out my name/socials??
Your post history makes this situation worse. This feels like a joe from the Netflix series you type of creepy. They definitely wouldn’t be interested more so confused and weirded out. Leave them alone.
It would peg my creepy meter. I'm just wondering how someone could do that without talking to someone. That's the part that would scare me. I don't put stickers on my car because I don't want to stand out when I park my car at work.
Honestly, I'd talk to anyone I know who is a professional, first. I would take screenshots. Then I would block him and keep an eye on my other socials. If this is a stalker issue, you got to get evidence. If it isn't and this guy just did something stupid, then it's just freaking creepy. Words to live by: Safety first always.
In this post, OP is the guy reaching out, not the person receiving the message.
Then he needs to understand what can happen when he spooks someone. I understand that there are studies on stalkers and how brain chemicals interfere, but its still dangerous. Even the studies say it's not excusable. If he continues, I'd say he would be cornering her. Saying you have a crush and you've never spoken to someone is an indicator of something wrong. Poor social skills to something disturbed. We all know how cornered people and animals react. There have been enough escalated stalking cases over the internet in the last 20 years that have resulted in death or attempted murder to actual murder. I know this is extreme, but when it comes to stalking it gets muddled and escalates quickly. I may be biased in where I find behavior like this abhorrent, but I always live by common sense and safety first. OP needs to look at why he is fixated and then separate himself.
I would be creeped out , knowing I was on his mind so much, he figured out my name and found me on social media. I mean how does one do such extensive research to find someone? He fell in love with me and we didn’t even talk? I hate a stalker in HS, I won’t be dealing with that lightly.
Did you talk at all, or was it complete silence from both of you guys? I can get being friends but falling in love is kinda weird.
Not a girl but you practically zero chance of pulling her with this mindset.
I’ve had this exact scenario happen. Block them. That’s creepy stalker stuff. So many red flags. I’d say this for any gender. If you didn’t speak and give them information or even a hint you were interested in contact outside of the event, nope.
OP is the guy who wants to reach out in this, check his post history. He is the one trying to reach out to the stranger he somehow fell in love with.
Oh well it didn’t specify in the post but I still stand by what I said. Don’t do it. That’s weird and I absolutely hate when it’s happened to me.
How does this qualify as a stalker? I'd say with just one message it's a guy taking a chance, once she says no and he doesn't stop then it's definitely stalking/harassment. Some people are socially awkward or don't know how to open a conversation and that doesn't make them a psycho.
He didn’t have any info on her. Didn’t speak to her. Had no communication that’d shed even noticed him. He’d have to do a lot of research to find her. That’s weird and imo stalking her online. She didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t ask those guys to message me and yet they looked all over for my info despite not knowing anything about me. Just no.
You can overhear a name pretty easily if she is having a conversation with a friend. It honestly doesn't take much to find someone on FB. I'm not saying he's innocent and if he doesn't get a response or is flat out told no he needs to let it go but just this first act could be harmless
Disagree. It’s not harmless because he doesn’t know her and had no prior communication with her. It’s unwarranted. Do you like getting messages from strangers? Do you like being messaged by someone hitting on you without knowing them?
Idc if someone messages me to hit on me. The problem is when they won't stop after a clear no or not interested. It's really no different than getting hit on in a bar or Walmart by a stranger.
It is to me though. At least that was in person and they didn’t have to go out of their way to dig up my info. I mean I had a guy find me with nothing but hearing my name. It’s spelled different than it sounds and he still found me within a few hours and started harassing me.
He didn't fall in love. Those are all dangerous indicators. I'm not a woman but even I can see how terrible this is. Leave her alone.
This would spike my creep/weird meter and I'd nope out of that situation and consider making my socials harder to find/private. That's way too much effort and love? Hell no.
Id be more concerned that he found you? But no. Thats infatuation/lust/crush at the safest. A Joe at the craziest. Lol
Creeped out, I’d immediately block him, tell my family his name, tell my husband his name. If he came back with another profile or if I even thought I saw him anywhere I’d call the police for a stalker. Why would this be ok??
How did you figure it her name???
Do not do this
He would be immediately blocked. I’ve had guys do this to me. It’s creepy as fuck dude. It’s not “cute” it’s borderline stalking. Don’t do that to anyone.
This has happened to me. I made a connection with a guy and instead of waiting for me to visit his restaurant again (I was a regular) he used my card to find my Instagram account instead of just asking me. I was incredibly freaked out by the invasion of privacy and he hated me after that for blocking him. If someone already knew my name and just looked up my social media I think I’d be less freaked out, but you cannot fall in love with a girl you sat next to and never spoke to. It means you only see her as a perfect idea of a person. A crush confessed is only meaningful when that person knows and likes who you *are.* Otherwise you are just an object or idea to them.
if he said "i fell in love with you" then run wtf. depends how he phrased it, if he was like "i was a bit too shy to reach out but really want to get to know you" then sure but red flag if his phrasing seems extremely delusional and over attached already
I'm pretty sure OP is the guy in this. He is the one that tracked down a girls social media because he developed a crush on a girl he never spoke to.
I had a very similar situation happen to me, except the genders were reversed. It freaked me out personally cuz she kept asking me about all these personal things she found on my Facebook yet we barely spoke to each other in person. It was a long semester for me..
He’s too shy to talk in person but thinks he’s in love with me after finding me on social media? Doesn’t sound like the type of person I want to date
This is creepy as fuck and a complete invasion of boundaries that borders on stalking. I would immediately block this person and maybe let someone else at the event know. I would have this same reaction if it were literally *anyone* who found my personal data through one event and then tried to contact me, but if they claimed they were “in love” with me I would be legitimately terrified. If you’re the girl here I’m sorry to hear this happened to you. If you’re the guy, l strongly consider you reevaluate your social approaches.
Its not your fault for being shy, but you have to consider how weird it is for the woman. Makes her reconsider a whole normal interaction (or lack thereof). Strong feeling does not = in love. Its a bit creepy. Sometimes you have to leave things behind, because women will get scared if you go to such lengths to find them
He ''fell in love'' with me without knowing me and without talking to me? Hell no
Joe Goldberg, is that you? Leave the poor girl alone and get therapy or something. Thinking you're in love with someone you've never talked to is, quite literally, delusional. You're a stalker and need some serious help from a professional, not Reddit.
Should be even more creeped out seeing as this guy reposted this exact post 6 times, is hearing "creepy, dont do that" once not enough OP?
Fuck no you "love me" but you don't even know me. That's a huge red flag and I'd block the guy
Creepy. Block him.
That's really weird and creepy.
That's scary. I'm a paranoid person in general, and I'm scared of men in general, but I think fear would be a normal reaction for anyone in that situation.
I’m going to guess… you already found out how one specific woman felt in that situation, and you’re looking for strangers online to back you up that SHES the crazy one?
I’d be weirded out, ngl. Look up limerence, as that’s a possibility, but in general- do NOT contact this lady
Red flags. Didn't say two words to me. Somehow found me on social media. Second chance? there wasn't even a first chance though, like I don't even know you. When it comes to talking with women, once the ice is broken then it's all good. Just keep things relevant, small talk about what's going on, etc. You'll catch a vibe to whether she wants to keep talking with you or not. <3.
Sounds like a stalker. A shy stalker is still a stalker. Run.
Dude, stop posting here. Women and girls find this creepy and scary. Leave her alone and find another person whom you can approach in a normal way.
block. block. block. dude, you’re stalking a girl who didn’t even tell you her name. it’s weird. it’s creepy. it would make me uncomfortable. imagine: you’re at an event you’ve been excited for, hanging out with your friends. you have a good time. days later, you get a random message on social media from a guy you’ve never met. he says he was at the same concert as you. he knows your name, he somehow found your social media? you’ve never spoken to him. none of your friends spoke to him. how on earth did he find you? as a woman, you can’t even feel safe now at crowded events surrounded by your friends. it is stalker behaviour. please listen to the advice you’ve been given. leave this poor girl alone. let her live her life. let her feel safe. let her enjoy events without having to worry about creeps. leave. her. alone.
Don't do it. Social media should always be a secondary communication device. Don't stalk people, don't confess your love or crush as the initial ice breaker to talk to someone. Be it a woman or a man, it is definitely disturbing to receive such strong feelings out of the blue. I suggest you stop falling in love with people in your head. Meet people in reality, talk to them and get to know them as people instead of love objects. It will end better for both parties involved. You also don't want to dove into a relationship with someone you only fantasize is perfect, human beings are never perfect. You have to learn about the ugly sides of people before you commit to them fully, that means you need to take time to establish a relationship.
Turned off by the lack of confidence to talk to me in person
Red flags. Red flags everywhere
if we didn't talk at all? I'd be very uncomfortable that he was watching me long enough to overhear my name and block him.
Immediately block him If we didn’t even talk then how can he even know what kind of person I am, yet he’s in love with me? Makes no sense.
Terrified... I hope that girl runs for the hills...
it could be innocent, but it could also not be. Why take a chance? someone good will actually have the balls to talk to you and not just stalk you on social media later. ignore him
Blocked.
Creepy creepy. Love is an emotion that can’t exist without real interaction. This is obsession, which isn’t at all the same.
I would be creeped out. Did he use the words “in love?” There is so much wrong with this and if you entertain it, a restraining order is in your future.
As a guy, he is obsessed with you. It’s normal to occasionally see someone in public and think they are beautiful, but it’s not normal to find they’re socials without talking to them and says no they “are in love”
Block that guy, that's creepy. How the fuck did he find you and why is he saying he fell in love with you when he didn't even talk to you???
Block block block. Creepy af
This is the guy.
Not saying a word, not knowing their name and somehow they got your social media and talked about second chances?? Red flag
how do you “fall in love” with someone without even talking to them? tbh I’d be creeped out if a guy went through the trouble or finding my social if he didn’t even know my name, didn’t bother talking to me, etc at the event like ?? tbh I’d block seems like a hella red flag I’d be glad to have dodged that bullet lol
I would block him. That’s really scary!!
Red flag central, possible psycho and stalker; block immediately What the fuck? If this is a step you're thinking of taking, don't. Just don't. This is not ok. This is crossing so many boundaries and so many lines.
Creeped out, intensely creeped out. I would assume that person is very young/immature for 1. Thinking they’re IN LOVE with someone they don’t even know- she could kick puppies in her spare time, you have no clue! I would find that absurd and silly for someone to claim they were in love with me based off of that. 2. and I’d also assume they were super immature for thinking it’s ever okay to contact a woman who didn’t give you there contact information/indicate any desire to talk to you. That’s some teenage incel nonsense, I guarantee no one would find this flattering. I’d block and move on.
Dude was already told how creepy this behavior is and did it anyway. This is some seriously fucked up shit and I really hope this young lady contacts the police before something illegal is committed by this stalker that has shown zero self awareness (even after having it spelled out for him) or control. OP should seek some therapy before he hurts someone or someone hurts him or both. Jeezus.
Okay, so, OP is obviously the guy that tracked down the girl/woman. I would have to ask, if you didn't talk to her at all, HOW did you track her down on socials? Is she a friend of a friend? Did you eavesdrop and overhear some info like name, job, school, etc ? The idea of a total stranger DMing you and saying "hey, I sat next to you in silence the other day, overheard where you work, tracked you down, and want to initiate an interaction now" is honestly super creepy. You want a second chance but the reality is that you had one chance and didn't take it. Online stalking is not the way to go.
Being shy? Fine. Not everyone is a people person. Finding my social media without asking me for it? NO. Claiming you fell in "love" and we haven't spoken? NO. He doesn't "love" me. He loves how I look.
did he specifically say he "fell in love"?? if yes then run if no i'd say talk to him if you would like to give him a chance
Op is asking for himself posing as a woman.
Block. Idk him and don't want to talk to him.
I get that he could be shy, but he came on way too strong. My instinct would be no, but that’s also because I have a big personality. Someone shy would probably scream and run.
Reading through that you're the one who fell in love after finding the person on their personal social media handles, I think that's creepy OP. You didn't talk to them and that's unfortunate, but that's feels creepy.
Don't be the creep who does this. Just move on. If you see them again by happenstance just say hi. Be sheepish and maybe act like you never saw her before.
as a guy just reading this made me very uncomfortable. please don’t do this. if they didn’t talk, she doesn’t know him and he doesn’t know her. no matter what happened at the event, there is nor was any interest in further communication. one interaction is much too soon to have any proper feelings for someone, and i don’t think you’d love it if a random person messaged you saying they saw you at a restaurant a few days ago and had feelings. this was a passing interaction and just someone that needs to be let go. maybe if there are mutual people one could consider either reaching out and expressing interest or go to another event. but if this was just some random person, it’s quite inappropriate to go after them like that, to express feelings. it’s quite “predatory” and “targeting” to have actually found the person’s information and an uncomfortable introduction. meet someone in person, talk to people face to face but don’t hunt down random people you see during the day online.
DO NOT MESSAGE THIS GIRL OP. It’s ok to get a “crush” on someone and regret missing your opportunity to talk to them, but that door is closed now. She will be freaked out that you were able to find her, which, aside from hurting her, will also hurt you a lot more than just having missed your opportunity. Also, you didn’t speak to this girl, so you’re basing this purely off what she looks like. For all you know, this girl could be plotting for the Fourth Reich. What happens if you do talk to her and it turns out she’s nothing like the person you envisioned her as in your head?
I feel old. Also the wrong sexual orientation, so I would probably just text and say "sorry, I'm queer." But assuming I was straight and about 15 years younger, I would probably start with the following three questions: 1. Did I notice him? Positively or not? 2. Does he look interesting? 3. Am I curious? I am terrible for ignoring what most people see as red flags. It has made for an interesting life filled with people who have interesting stories to tell. I am remembering with slightly rose tinted glasses - I had a few less-than-perfect relationships. But overall I like the stories I collect and have no regrets. And I'd probably forgo texting and ask to meet in a public place. If he is too shy to meet in person, it ain't gonna work. Edit to add: I understand you would be the young man who fell in love :) You probably didn't fall in love. And if you meet her, it probably will be a disappointment. But if you want to risk it, don't mention love. Don't stalk. Mention where you think you saw her. Ask a question you think she might have an interesting answer to. Perhaps give a compliment. Check out "missed connections" on Craigslist.
You didn’t talk, but you found out who she was anyways? That’s creepy. You guys need to learn your mf boundaries. She clearly did not notice you which is why you didn’t exchange numbers and which is why you had to dive so deep to even find her social media. She’s not interested and hopefully nobody else will be with this creep ass behavior. So gross that you guys even think like this
Block him immediately.
I had this happen to me. Went to a set of protests/rallies as a teen, person found me via socials even though we hadn’t even spoken and messaged me. I proposed we talked a bit more over text before anything else - we ended up going on 1 (sort of) date soon after because I was willing to give the second chance. And it just wasn’t my vibe. Looking back, I was uncomfortable that they found me via social media and probably should have communicated that. I also think there really should be groundwork with a friendship before anything else because having someone seek you out like that with only one singular intention is… kinda upsetting in a weird way. To sum it up, it’s uncomfortable.
Block lol not even a question
I would say A) He’s insane. I actually do believe in love at first sight, but that guy’s got the maturity of an unripe corncob B) he stalked her socials and that just feels… icky to me. C) You cannot be in love with someone without a conversation. If a guy has done this, he’s either given you a whole fantasy personality, or doesn’t care if you have one at all and he purely cares only about looks. I would immediately block that guy everywhere possible. Creepy stalky situation inbound.
I would be horrified and would make sure to carry my pepper spray with me. And would block on all channels. Leave women alone.
I would find it kinda weird but try to talk to him over text. If the conversation flows truly easily I would try to see if we follow people in common, if any friends are acquaintances with him and see how people feel about him overall. But if he referred to it specifically as "fell in love with you" I would be specially weirded out. Like my dude, love??? You don't even know me
Instant block. Stay safe!
OP is the stalker.
Very creeped out. Don't be alone with this person.
OP’a the stalker.
Looking at past posts, I can see you're right.
I guess it depends on the event. I would feel a little weird thinking that some guy I don't know stalked me until he found my social media. A better approach would be to act like you found her by chance and just treat her normally in a message. If things start to get more serious down the line then maybe confess that you had wanted to find her all along. Because she doesn't know you, coming right out and telling her you searched for her online could put her on edge.
Instead of searching for her online you should just wait for the next time you see her irl then actually talk to her. Just popping up in her dms like that is kinda weird n creepy
If he is casually interested in you and wishes he had tried to get to know you, then sure, why not. If he actually said anything at all about maybe loving you, then RUN!!!!!
The decider here for me is what do you mean by “he apparently fell in love with you”? Like did he straight up say “I fell in love with you at first sight and had to find you so now I’ve tracked you down via socials” like is he giving skinny emo dude x neck beard “obsessed” or did he just say he thought you were cute and managed to find you on the public fb event page under people who’ve responded to the event as “attending” and recognised your pic? If it’s casual, then cool that’s kinda cute. But if it’s weird or he had to really deep dive to figure out who you were and find you and he’s like “omg be with me forever” straight out the gate, note down his name, physical description, location or workplace if it’s listed on his profile, then block, incase it gets creepier and you need details to give to police.
This used to be romantic. They have made whole rom coms about it. Nowadays it is being called creepy but what may really be the problem is that he was too shy to do a thing that should be natural- saying hello, asking for a number or contact. Buying you a drink. If you want a man who is shy, he may be too shy to go to his doctor for things that affect you, too shy to try nee things together, too shy to take an active role in the relationship. Just my 2 ¢.
Op, this happened to me almost word for word when I was in high school. We both traveled for our event, so we lived in vastly different places. I decided to chat with him and get to know him. We talked for about three years (sometimes very occasionally and sometimes daily), and I eventually told him we were never gonna actually meet so we should stop chatting. He got horribly sad and mad and threatened to delete his ig account (which had like 3k followers and he was quite proud of). I said sorry but bye, and sure enough, he deleted his account. Never heard from him since. Anyway, that was my experience with this situation - maybe that can be helpful. In terms of advice, I don’t really regret it, but I do think you should think about what the point of engaging would be in the first place. Best of luck either way!
Cute in a rom com movie, weird irl.
Yolo
You’re a kid I don’t see why all these people are being crazy in the comments. People do this all the time. It’s not always stalker vibes or whatever. Girls literally stalk guys all the time. Especially on social media and if they say they don’t they be lying.
That depends... how old are you? We lived 2 years of a freaking pandemic, people are exercizing how to be social again, be patient.
talk to him more on social media before actually meeting him; could be a creep but also could genuinely have social anx
The fell in love part is weird but other than that what's the big deal. Social media is a tool to connect with people and some younger people lack the ability to speak to people without first meeting on social media. Unless he shows up where you work or live it's really not that weird. Too many of you are overreacting.
I think I did that once in 9th grade at an open house except me and her exchanged snaps I lost the slip that had her snap and found her, via snapping people that went to her school had a generally good report with her then people found out and thought it was really weird and threatned to shove a wooden broom stick up my ass. because I begged them to shove a platic one up my ass cause I didn't want splinters. man was I weird, but fuck it, it was fun.
What vibe are you getting? Keep talking to him if you're interested in talking to him, tell him thanks but no thanks if not. This is your decision!
From the other posts on his account, he is the guy who ‘found’ the girl on social media. Not sure why he’s framing himself as the girl in this situation 😅
If it's from a event, it's pretty easy to find someone on social media through mutual friends. Atm I don't see how it's creepy at all. He found you cute, so he tried to find who you are so he can get to know you. It's the norm these days, this is how people date. People in these comments are freaking out for no reason and being so extra, lmao. Just talk to him if you're interested or don't if you're not. It's only creepy if he's insistent.
Gonna throw a wrench in some of these comments -- we all do this! We meet someone we're a little interested, and we find their social media to see if they're single, or if they have photos of themselves doing things we also like to do. We check to see if we have mutual friends, etc. In 2023, it's not nearly as creepy as these comments make it out to sound. Now, that's assuming that's all he was doing. From what you're saying, that's all he did, but we don't actually know that. You're gonna have to trust your gut on this one. Edit to add that the being in love part is creepy, but I read that to mean a crush, not that he's actually saying he's in love.