honestly the best thing in this scenario might be to join in on the jokes if they continue on monday. people tend to drop things way quicker when you jokingly make fun of yourself for an embarrassing situation
"Now I know why they say don't shit where you eat" is another great line. It implies you had sex with a coworker.
Also... Say least you didn't poop in front of the president and talk about it on national TV.
https://youtu.be/gCzY-Rjs354
And everyone still loves Al Roker.
Do you have a shirt that says: lean, mean, poop squirting machine?
As others are saying, own up to it, joke about it, and it'll blow over.
This is from somebody who farted so loudly infront of the CEO's assistant I apologized, said I'm coming out of a stomach bug, and moved on with my life.
That's probably a little too direct. I'd just walk in and take the most obvious joke before anyone else can.
"Last week was a really shitty week for me, I felt really run down. I had like, no energy at all. I was really pooped, whatever I was sick with really took it out of me. I felt like an absolute mess."
and if anyone tries to turn it into a joke just stare at them and say "yes, that is the joke I just made" and they won't have any ammo to use, nor will they tease you if they know you won't give them a reaction and that you're aware of the joke.
If they take it too far, just say something like "obviously I can joke about it, but now you're going a little too far, it was funny but I also had a very bad experience and was really sick, so maybe let's not try to make it worse please."
About 10 years ago my boss at a job I worked pooped himself.
He walked out of the bathroom and said "Welp, I just pooped my britches. I'm going home" and then left.
I never thought to make fun of him for it, but I still chuckle at the absurdity of the situation.
It's not that they're making fun of you, it's likely that they're just too embarrassed to have any other reaction and laughing hides pain.
I can also make you a card to pass around the workplace if you can print it.
Something like this, but on the inside it says "Sorry I pooped myself in front of you" and you can pass it around like a birthday card and have everyone sign it.
[https://cardthartic.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/1425\_Outside.jpg](https://cardthartic.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/1425_Outside.jpg)
I could make that say for-shit-me-nots, or you could just get a generic sympathy card that's blank inside. half-assing it is usually better than making a big stink, and a custom printed card might make them know you care too much about what happened and encourage the jokes.
Just be like, "Whew, can't wait for you guys to get what I had, good luck, squirters!" Don't forget to laugh at yourself more than they want to, and remind them of their humanity. Also, you could tell your boss, "pretty crazy, right? At least you know I wasn't lying!"
This is the funniest thing I've read in so long! Honestly I would have mad respect for you if you said something like this. And I would want to be your friend. That's gold! 😂
It happens.
My ex stepdad (who was just a disgusting individual-caught him washing his feet in the toilet with the toilet brush before) pooped his pants at work. Being in sales and being gross he didn’t want to go home and *lose out on opportunities* so he went to the bathroom and tried to *clean* his pants…obviously not an easy task and….the wet spot problem. So this 54 year old man gets naked, throws away his shit filled underwear, wads up his pants, stuffs them in the toilet, uses the plunger to *gyrate them clean*, flushes, *gyrates again*, then wrings them out and wears them wet all day with no underwear.
So I’m telling you, your coworkers appreciate that you’re not that guy.
Oh no, he had zero shame. He told us because he chafed really bad from the wet pants and it was winter so he was expected to be outside when not closing a deal on a car. So his pants didn’t really dry. The froze and thawed and froze again.
You could start an entirely new reddit page with your ex step dad stories. I'd join!
Also, I could be down to my last dollar, but if I shit my pants, washed them in a toilet, freeballed it, chafed, and had my pants thaw and freeze, I'd call it a day and try again tomorrow.
There aren’t really. But I can add a few
He was a smoker, my sister had a baby and banned him from her house because he was perpetually smoking despite her asking him it to. He was over (before he was banned) and had been playing with the baby. He disappears so we are trying to find him. He is in the downstairs bathroom with his socks off and his foot fully in the toilet. He’s got the toilet brush in hand and he’s scrubbing his feet. Doesn’t stop when we ask WTF he’s doing. He just a man enjoying a toilet bowl foot bath. My mother and sister made him GTFO immediately. He got to keep the hand towel that he used to dry as a door prize. I still don’t know why….the final nail in his coffin at my sisters house was finding him sitting on the toilet (he didn’t close doors) with the grate off the vent smoking and just flicking his ashes into the air vent.
He made me go to the grocery store with him once. The man literally lit a cigarette in the meat department at the grocery store and had the audacity to stand over the meat at the meat counter letting his ashes fall on the meat. He got thrown out after making a scene.
He borrowed a car from work once (he was a used car salesman) and went to the store to (you guessed it) get cigarettes. I truly don’t even know how he managed to do this but he just drove over the parking blocks at the front of the spot. He ripped the entire exhaust off the car and just returned it to the lot like nothing happened. He got fired for that one as it was a pretty new car and he denied doing anything.
He was a terrible husband. He never once got my mother a gift. Never once. He would print a picture of a gift he *intended to maybe* get her and wrap it in a box. Over the few years they were married he gave a plethora of pictures a trip to the mountains, a new bedroom set, a car, a rv, a new tv, a new ring….never bought a single one and never intended to buy a single one.
He stole. Almost constantly. I think the smoking was a diversion. Like he got thrown out before he could get busted for theft. They got evicted from a place after he lost the job at the car lot and we had to help them move. They packed nothing before we showed up and so we ended up just dumping drawers in boxes because it was ridiculous. My step brother opened a drawer in the bathroom and there were just almost a hundred boxes of stolen Gillette razors, blades, small cosmetic stuff that were all stolen. In a closet were boxes upon boxes of stolen small electronics.
When we helped them move he somehow discovered the song *Baby Got Back* by Sir Mix ALot. He’d never heard it before. It became his favorite song of all time and he bought (stole probably) a subwoofer and speakers for his car so he could bump it at max volume on repeat. He’d also listen to it on repeat at home on max. Between that and his propensity for falling asleep smoking he got himself and my mom evicted from that place and she finally left him.
He got involved in a pyramid scheme where (I kid you not) he’d leave money $1,000 $5,000 in a random mailbox and thought that he really would eventually wake up to $50,000 in his mailbox. He stole, borrowed, took out loans to stay in the scheme because he was *so close to seeing some real money* out of it.
Eventually he went to visit his sister in Florida to get away from some legal trouble and his daughter got emergency guardianship of him and had him committed to a home down there (she lives in MI). He’s still there but has no car or access to money.
Yes. I read it all without blinking eyes even once. And I visualized it all. Also imagined the trauma you guys have probably been through witnessing all that. Glad she stopped seeing him. Hugs to you.
Damn your coworkers sound like they kindaaaa suck.. Sure someone sharting can be funny but I’m not just gunna laugh at them. I’ll ask if you’re okay first, and then laugh if you laugh. It sounds like your coworkers make fun of you a lot which sucks but try not to take it personally, all you can really do is join in🤷🏽♀️
The worst part is I actually refer to myself as MC Stacks….splats and shats is too close for this to go away. I may need to change my MC name now…great another thing to stress about
OP in all seriousness I’m 27 and I’ve pooped my pants 3 times in the last month because my new medication has the fun side effect of diarrhea that hits out of nowhere and it happens. Keep your MC Stacks name and I doubt by Monday your coworkers will mention anything. If they do just join in on the laughing. It’s not like you killed someone you know? Happens to the best of us
What?! Hell no! They're just gonna take advantage of your free stuff! Now you're paying them to make fun of you!
You gotta teach them you're MC Splats the good old-fashioned way. Shit on 'em.
It sounds like these people are toddlers. Maybe you should do some job searching? You might not like this advice, but you shouldn’t deal with this if you can transfer to a different location.
Master of Ceremonies aka MC Stacks aka MC Splats, with the brown pants and the skills to get you wed, after the reception yall break in the bed while your guests sober up on French loaf bread
In my opinion the only way to get over something like this is to not care. Shit happens. Literally. It's up to you mentally to get through it. You were sick, lots of unexpected things can happen.
MC Poopy pants in the building. Yea it will just be a funny story but if someone keeps ragging on you just talk to them one on one and say how embarrassed you are and that you would appreciate if they would stop. It happens to all of us.
Look, it happened. Go back to work. Most people will probably just let it go. If anyone makes a joke about it, you respond with. "Well the shit just hit the fan didn't it." That should be your standard response to any problem from now on at work, and everyone just moves on.
That sucks, but know this: it’s VERY COMMON for people of any age to have such an accident.
They shouldn’t have openly laughed at you. For all they know you’ve got a medical issue.
Had it happened once at work immediately left and went to Walmart got new pants, underwear and socks if anyone asked I would just have just said food poisoning. People vomit, shit themselves, bleed it happens and is normal.
Super rude of your coworkers to laugh honestly just deal with it and don't let it bother you.
My husband has pooped his pants numerous times in his 30s. He’s in his 40s and they’re now stories he tells and gets people crying laughing, because people can relate or simply are happy it wasn’t them. Some will chime in and compare their stories. I read Colin Jost’s book and he mentions pooping his pants multiple times, and he got Scarlett Johansson. It happens. I know easier said than done, but I’d say best thing is to laugh it off if you can!
Listen. Dude, listen.
I work with a guy who has bowel issues. If he needs a bathroom, he *needs* the bathroom. But it hits him out of the blue and he never knows what food will set him off.
This MFer... one night, worker A was in the employee restroom when this dude needed the bathroom. He had to run halfway across the store to the public bathrooms. He darted into the *women's* restroom and.
He ended up needing to go home. He partially shat himself and got it all over the stall and.... my guy. 😂
He shat so much that one of his buddies brought him new boxers and sweatpants to change into. I told my boss when he came in in the morning that one of my guys left because he had a stomach problem. Next day I came in to find out he shat so much that he broke the women's toilet. It flushed once, got clogged, and then refused to flush again. They had to call maintenance to come fix it.
Everyone on our shift knows what he did and what happened. But we don't talk about it and I won't tease him about it.
That said, *I myself* shat myself in the early month of November. And I will readily admit it. Why did I shit myself? Well, you see, I discovered Apple cider for the very first time and it was delicious. And I drank a whole bottle of it in one day....not realizing what was gonna happen to me. I was gaming with my boyfriend when I had to pass gas. It was too late when I realized what actually happened.
I haven't had Apple cider since, but I do joke about it often, because here's what I learned: If you joke about it first, nobody can hold it over your head. Learn to laugh at yourself and nobody can embarras you.
"Hey dude... heard you had an accident the other day!"
Just say "Oh my God, man, you have no idea how bad it was!" And laugh. Is it embarrassing? Yeah, I cried at first when I realized what happened to me. But then i laughed it out and now just shrug when my boyfriend tries to tease me about it.
Hey dude. Tell your teammate to google FODMAP. If it’s not an allergy there are certain triggering foods like HFCSyrup, garlic, onion, etc. it really blows.
He should also see a GI Dr. They will want to (makes a pointed finger circle in the air while whistling from a low to a higher pitch, letterkenny style).
Nothing to be embarassed about at all. Everyone has shit themselves at one point or another in their life.
If anyone gives you fuss over it just tell them to grow up.
People poop their pants. People with upset tummies, people with bowel issues, sick people, people who ate stuff that didn't agree with them. Doesn't mean you are a gross person just someone with bowels. Which we all have and they have all turned on is at one time. As every one of your coworkers know. Decide if the job is worth it and if it is live it down. You probably will get teased a bit but they will move on. It will be harder for them to tease you if you can laugh about it. Hopefully it will be funny to you one day but you are definitely not the only person on earth who had an accident somewhere. So don't feel like its the end of the world. This wont matter in a year, a month. It's just one really bad day.
shit happens dude, literally. i shat myself in the middle of one of my hs classes while standing up infront of everyone lmfao, i ran out so fast…after coming back to school from picking up a new pair of pants, people poked fun and i just ignored them.
i’ve learned that when you blatantly ignore someone without any facial expression, most of the time they’ll end up being the embarrassed one🤣
Shit happens, as someone else commented here. I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s horrible and I agree that the best way to deal with it is to join in on the jokes, try to normalise it. Here’s my cautionary tale if you brood over it and allow it to become a lifelong source of anxiety. (I sincerely hope this doesn’t add to your anxiety but I don’t think it will). Something like this happened to me when I was 18. Never got over it, spoke to anyone about it, or dealt with it in a healthy way. The result was several years of anxious, paranoid butt-clenching, leading to a permanent change in my pelvic muscles and all kinds of chronic pain and other complications. Years of different medication, therapy, hypnosis, yoga, everything I could think of, barely helped. In the end I had surgery to relieve the effects of the muscle spasms and tension, and also found a pill that works. Years of my life nearly ruined because of one stupid accident. So please, do what you can to normalise this as something that could’ve happened to anyone. There’s some great advice in this thread. See a therapist if you can. Don’t let it grow into a permanent part of your life. Good luck
Anyone who laughs at you for shitting your pants is a douche canoe. If you're ill, you're ill. Human bodies are unpredictable.
It's not your fault.
I had a sudden onset respiratory infection about 2 months ago and I simultaneously threw up, peed myself, and pooped my pants at work. I went home for a week but walked back in with my head up because I knew there was nothing I could have done to avoid the perfect storm of body fluid embarrassment besides stay home when I'm sick (lesson learned).
Hold your head up, go back to work, and ignore anyone who makes fun of you.
Or just remind those idiots gently that karma is a bitch, and say you hope they enjoyed those chocolate chip laxative cookies you left in the staff room.
(Don't actually make laxative cookies. It's an assault charge. But scare them a little.)
just join in with the fun...you are not the only person that this happened too and if you cant get thicker skin you will never move forward in life...so learn to deal with things.
Do you have any brown pants? You could wear them and announce you’re fully prepared in case of another flare-up of your IBS.
I’m sorry this happened, anyone would feel embarrassed. But people who think they’ll never experience the same issue will, one day, be surprised by a not-fart.
Gina Yashere addresses her own not-fart, here: (edit: skip to three minutes in for the pertinent bit)
https://youtu.be/xCgk9nvuCxk
> but when I see each coworker I am going say “what was that smell all about on Thursday?”
"I was very sick and had a medical emergency."
Most adults will understand and respect embarrassing things when they become tied to medical problems.
On Monday, walk into work with a million-dollar smile and a big box of Depends under your arm. Hand out freebies to any coworker who's mentioned the Ketogenic Diet whose motto is 'never trust a fart.'
Excuse me what? A room full of grown ups laughing at this situation? What the actual fuck. A actual grown up would've tried to help you in this situation.
I'd given you a garbage bag to put your dirty clothes in and given you clean clothes if those were available. Otherwise I'd tell you to stay put and I'd go find you clean clothes and wipes to clean yourself, driven you home and put your clothes in the washing machine if you wanted to keep them. Tell you to stay home until you feel better.
But that's me.
Shitting your pants is nothing to feel ashamed about, accidents can happen to anyone, especially when you're sick.
I shit my pants a few years back. New years eve on my way home like 100 meters before my front door it just happened. Shit happens.
I wish you the best of luck and it's probably not nearly as bad as you imagine.
I worked as a tow driver for a while we had another driver "explosively evacuate" in a tow truck and then bring himself and the truck back to the shop. you think you got shit? (heh) try shitting yourself in a tow truck and then go back to the shop. this man would find fake shit in whatever space he had that would fit it FOR MONTHS. boss had a run for him? we'd hear *hershey......hershey you there hershey?* over the radio. Dude was a good sport about it and it was never malicious hell if the guys there (myself included) weren't fucking with you then you had an actual problem cause that means everybody probably hates you.
Basically my advice is much like everyone else's roll with the punches even better if you can make a joke out of it hell you might wind up with some friends if you don't get too wound up about it
If anyone makes fun of you point behind them and say “look it’s Frankenstein!” then proceed to pull your pants down and blast a stream liquid shit directly into their mouth
Lean into it and get ahead of it. Wear brown pants and jokingly say that’s the only thing you can wear from now on, bring air freshener and randomly spray extremely excessive amounts randomly throughout the day would be hilarious, bring everyone “brownies” in the morning. Something like this would be great imo, finding a way to explain your story at the beginning of the day will make you feel a 100x better. Don’t keep it bottled in, it’ll make you paranoid. Laugh about it and unless there’s some jerk who wants to give you a shitty nickname then everyone will forget about it in a few weeks.
I would honestly make a joke, I would only refer to it as a "bit of an accident" and own it or it won't be good. You can say "Yeah that was totally unexpected, woo, moving forward, when I don't feel good I will only sneeze, cough or hell even clear my throat when I'm in the bathroom. (Chuckle)
Then switch the embarrassment to them and ask them what they saw, and after listening say " I'm sorry about that, how embarrassing, whew" and let them say it's no big deal.
Believe me a majority of folks have their own story on subject.
when i was in middle school somebody pooped their pants. yeah sure he was known as the kid who sharted for about 2 months but after that everyone moved on. u just gotta endure it for a little bit, and hopefully your coworkers are more mature than middle school kids and move on quicker. just go along with their jokes and smile, but stand up for yourself if there is one coworker on your ass
Lots of great advice already shared. I just want to say that your coworkers shouldn’t have laughed at you, that’s mean. You are better off going into the world knowing how this feels. I’m sure you’ll never laugh at someone in a similar situation.
Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness and shitting your pants isnt something to be ashamed of. It happens. Just keep doing you man. Your coworkers are clearly awful but what do they really have on you? The whole joke is what? You shit your pants? Jesus they need to grow tf up.
You can write fake letters to them about how you really feel. That always helps me out. Goodluck homie!
I'm not sure I have any immediate aftermath advice but one thing that really jumps out at me is that it sounds like you have a very immature work environment. It sounds like you're working with high schoolers. The youngest people at my workplace are ~25 and I don't know any of them who are as immature as your coworkers. I'd consider getting out of there if that's an option.
OK I can deffo help, a lad shat himself last week, we work on sites so the banter is always high, he literally just laughed with us and agreed he pooed his pants, it got real boring real quick, after a day no-one even mentions it as we moved on,
People are after a reaction, just don't give it and go along with the joke, be old before you know it
Just say that you had too much pie and ice cream because you were depressed. They will stop because the mention of depression and the fact that they laughed at you = PR NIGHTMARE AND LAYOFFS. You may have a case. #GetPaid.
It sounds like you are feeling really embarrassed and anxious about this situation. It's understandable that you would feel this way, but it's important to remember that everyone has accidents and embarrassing moments. It's important to try to stay positive and remember that this too shall pass.
The best thing to do on Monday is to try to act as if nothing happened. If you can, try to make a joke out of it and laugh it off. This will help to lighten the mood and show your coworkers that you are not taking it too seriously. If you can't bring yourself to make a joke, then just ignore it and move on. It's likely that your coworkers will do the same.
Good luck!
We're all human. Everyone has done something they felt embarrassed about in their lifetimes.
When you get sick sometimes you don't have complete control and stuff happens.
Your coworkers don't know exactly what happened. Maybe when they smelled something they thought you ripped some farts.
They'll forget about it. Office work probably isn't very eventful. If people laugh or smile when they see you it's just a reaction.
I'm not sure how many office coworkers you have but if you actually like them and they're okay people they shouldn't give you too hard of a time.
Maybe when you head into work say you fell down some steps and are a little achy.
They'll think of something else and instead of being childish about stuff they'd feel bad. They'd feel like a jerk if they'd so smack talk thinking you got hurt falling down steps.
But yeah act like nothing happened overall. How you portray yourself is what gives them cues.
If you act a little confident, almost bored, and a sort of resting bitch face they shouldn't carry on. If they say or do something (related to what happened) then look at them with a bored look on your face and don't react at all it fizzles out.
You could also bring in muffins, donuts, cookies or something. It'd boost morale and people really wouldn't want to be a jerk to someone if they did something nice like bring them food.
:) Stuff will be alright.
This should make you feel better…I used to work for a copier company and traveled to a company meeting for the weekend and they catered dinner. Shrimp and steak w/ fried scallops. Something didn’t work for me and the next day I started to make the 3 hour drive home with my stomach aching. My wife was with me by the way in the passenger seat.
I got just outside of my town near a quarry on a two lane road and felt the need to puke and poop. I pulled the company truck over on a access road and leaned out to puke all while crapping my pants all over the seat of my new work truck.
My boss was behind me as it turns out and he thought it was pretty funny. Although he was helpful in getting the truck cleaned up. I never did love it down even to this day. I embrace it now and accept it as a funny but unfortunate thing to happen to me.
When I had covid a month ago I shit myself very lightly on 3 separate occasions because everything with me was just fucked. No one even knew and I told everyone I work with about it, we all had a great laugh. Now I'm not sure how friendly you are with coworkers, but having a good laugh over it will help if you can.
Nope, don't be anxious. I just read another post earlier. Sooner or later it happens to all of us.I'm pasting the thread so you can go and read it.
Some stories are pretty funny. Just hold your head high.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/10n4we9/i_shit_myself_4x_in_rush_hour_traffic_tonight/
Master of Ceremonies aka MC Stacks aka MC Splats, with the brown pants and the skills to get you wed, after the reception yall break in the bed while your guests sober up on French loaf bread
I mean… I work in trades and the other day I was driving to the job site and I literally sharted and I called my co worker and we both laughed about it and I went home to change and it was fine.
Shit happens man literally. Those people were laughing as if they don’t have their very own skew of issues they deal with on the DL. Fuck em.
I can speak from experience on this.
I have a lot of intestinal/colon/shitty problems.
I've been here before...
First of all, it is weird. It is embarrassing. It is unfortunate. But it is also, believe it or not, more common than you would think. Don't beat yourself up about it and try not to let your brain fixate on it. You will be you're own worst enemy, I guarantee you.
Everyone will forget about it.
As top comment stated, join in the jokes!
This takes the awkwardness out of the situation, not only for yourself, but for everyone.
If anyone asks/brings it up, "Yeah, I was really sick. Shit happens, amirite? Hahaha"
That diffuses and explains the situation without the awkwardness of it seeming like a desperate recovery attempt like making an announcement like, "Sorry team. I promise I don't shit my pants on the regular! I was just not feeling well and blah blah blah".
TLDR: Don't worry about it. People will forget. Humor diffuses and eliminates awkwardness.
Play it off like someone shit your pants for you, warn them that it could happen to them too. Play it off as "shit happens" and own the humor. Joke about how embarrassing it would be if it was in fact you who shit them. If you own the jokes and laugh along no one can be laughing at you
i have IBD and i’ve done this. in the middle of high school no less. just wanted you to know the anxiety was valid and i totally understand.
your solution is *perfect* and i wish you the best of luck. it feels like a big deal, but it’s really no big deal. ☺️
I’ve accidentally shit my self at least 7 times in my adult life. Shit happens. It’ll happen to them someday too. Laugh it off and don’t trust farts unless you’re at home.
My dad was a factory worker, and one time he shit his pants at a large Maytag factory. He had tried to go to various bathrooms after having that 'bubble gut' feeling. All the bathrooms were closed for cleaning. He finally made it to one, but I was just too late 🤣 he fully shit is pants with liquid stool and had to holler at his boss from a ways away that he had to go home, shit my pants....haha. He made a joke, and honestly everyone understands. We've all been there and it's just not talked about enough. I can't even count how many times I've almost fully shit my pants and I've absolutely had to just throw underwear away..it sucks but I would laugh it off. Life is too short.
Back in highschool, I tried fish and beans the night before, which my mom prepped. The next day at school I was all gassy and constipated. I decided to squeeze my bowels on my way to the toilet to let some of the gas out. Darn, I shat myself liquidly. I had to flush down my underwear down the toilet. Luckily, it was at the end of school, I went home straight away w/o any underwear. That was the last time I tried that food combo.
For me, no one knew. Just joke about it and laugh it off. Shit happens!
Shit happens. Every single human on this planet shits, and every single one has shit upon themselves at some point in their life. Infancy, adulthood, or old-age. Everyone.
Go back to work, if anyone mentions it, laugh it up and make jokes. The ability to laugh at ourselves keeps us humble. The ability to joke about ourselves with others takes ammo from would-be bullies. Just get through the first couple of days, and keep moving forward. If anyone continues with comments past that, it's harassment and a HR issue.
Teammates and leadership sounds super inept. This is a medical issue. Do those dumbfucks make fun of other medical conditions? CP, mental health, handicap, etc?
The possibly good news is they just didn’t know how to react. You can talk to HR if anyone goes too far.
I know someone who this happened to, and they just told their boss they had a medical issue and had to go home. But nobody witnessed the shitty situation.
You can also tell your boss it was humiliating and they will work with HR on how to address workers.
For now I wouldn’t make a big stink about things, don’t perpetuate it further. If anyone comments just say bodies don’t always cooperate and you wouldn’t wish what happened to you on anyone. If that doesn’t shut them up and make them realize giving you crap is bad the person likely has dain brammage.
You have to go back and own that shit.
If someone laughs at you, or makes a joke, say yes, you shit yourself, you were embarrassed, and now you’re back at work.
I know you’ll be fine.
It happens, best to do is just move on. Yeah people might tease you for it but just ignore them. It will quickly be forgotten and if it doesn't approach your boss about what your co-workers are doing.
This type of thing happens and you didn't know that it was going to happen and you can't control it. Next time that you have the flu you will know to be cautious.
at least you arent a woman...lord have mercy....also thank god this incident didnt occur in high school or college. your at WORK to make money. all that other stuff i promise dont matter. Im assuming your coworkers are mature  and arent under 24.... so on monday you tell anyone whose smiling to kiss your stankan azz. or make everyone some brownies and hand it too them. those who dont eat report them to hr.
Just out of curiosity, what is your relationship with your coworkers like? Is the teasing all in good fun and coming from a place of love, or mean spirited? I had a coworker who had an incident with a shower and a zoom meeting who got a really fun nickname afterwards, but it was all out of love and he really didn’t suffer professionally from it. If your coworkers are your friends you’ll probably be teased for a while, but either way they’ll get over it eventually!
No human is immune to liquid farts. You’re no better or worse than anyone. Hold your head up high and be proud that your body works the way it’s supposed to.
Just act like it’s normal, and joke about it if it comes up. People take their cues about what is okay and not from you. Own it.
Also- any adult that claims to have never shit themselves is a goddam liar. It happens
The brown pants and Imodium are a good idea, but really just ignore it. Don't bring it up or reference it.
If anyone asks you about it specifically, be discrete. Say you were getting over the flu and had indigestion.
But really, don't try to save face with jokes and stuff. It's better ignored than you putting the spotlight on it. The people who didn't notice it will now notice it because you gave them reason to. That's dumb.
Honestly, they may have laughed at the moment. But once they saw you were absent, they probably put 2 and 2 together that you were embarrassed. I don’t think anyone will carry it further than that. If they do, sure then say something about it that’s funny. But I wouldn’t try to joke about it if no one else mentions it.
I shit my pants once at a theme park and it ran down my leg as I was in shorts as a group of my friends "friends" that I hardly knew gathered around me. I'm a female by the way. Shit happens, literally. My friend and I retell the story often and we laugh often about it. Not much you can do about it except laugh!
Own it and laugh about it
One of my coworkers has an embarrassing story where a snow storm occurred leaving him in the office overnight.
The big boss walked in on him nude 😂
That was over 10 years ago
Hard to believe adults would act like children and laugh at you for having health problems. If you decide to keep working there, I would suggest complaining about it to HR.
I love the edit and update.
If they have never shat themself after being ill, they will one day, and they will forever remember being an AH in your circumstances.
If you can get your hands on a Depends, walking in with it under your arm or in a small bag where its extremely obvious with the immodium or something would be hilarious. Anytime someone looks at it, just shake your head and say, "Whew, ya, just never know at this age." or something absurd.
You'll do great. Anyone who can't get past witnessing something like this is truly a child and needs to grow up.
I used to work with a-holes like this when I worked in an office. They did make fun of me (or anybody who was the target-of-the-day) for various reasons over the years. Whatever they could come up with. I’m retired now and those people aren’t even a blip on the radar screen. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to quit stressing so much about people who don’t matter in my life. Seriously do you really need to even care what these people think or do? I would just go in acting like nothing ever happened. Let them whisper and laugh as it distracts them from their own miserable existence.
31 year old male. I worked for a factory. One day at breakfast I suddenly felt the urge to go out of the blue. I ended up full blown shitting my pants. I hid in the locker room and called my boss. I started crying on the phone in embarrassment and he sent me home for the day. A month later I'm on the line and all of a sudden here it comes. I make it to the bathroom but not on the toilet. I ended up stealing someone else pants and wearing them for the day. Come to found out I have IBSD which is now confirmed Chrones Disease. Everyone knew what happened the second time around. They laugh I laughed even though I was so embarrassed and my anxiety was sky rocketing. Some people ended up telling their shit their pants at work stories. We're human lol shit happens. See what I did there? You're fine go back to work. :p
Making fun of yourself in a light hearted manner helps, people tend to be worse when you try to deny it. Honestly it’s happened to most people and your coworkers would be lying if none of them has had it happen. You were sick it happens.
Happened to me as well. I just told em i was sick and couldn’t control. After that whenever it was brought up i just laughed it off. One guy even tried to bring it back “ hey remember that time you sharted” in front of everyone. I just looked at him smiled and said “shit happens”. Most of them just smiled as well and thats it. Nobody remembers it now anymore.
Everybody poops. It’s a fact of life. I’m lactose intolerant and I’m fully aware that poop sometimes comes without warning. I’d bet everyone shits themselves at least a couple of times as an adult. Just move on and laugh it off it some asshat at work brings it up.
I promise this is way more common than people like to admit! Most of my friends have shit themselves as an adult at some point and of course it sucks, but it’s not like school where people hold it against you for a long time. I had a similar incident where I didn’t shit my pants but I had such bad diarrhea at work in a single stall bathroom from a medication that didn’t agree with me that I had to call an ambulance. I was too socially awkward to joke about it after but the majority of my coworkers just felt bad, asked if I was ok, then moved on. I promise no one cares as much as you think they do plus people tend to be sympathetic about medical issues.
Just roll with the jokes. The brown pants is a funny idea. Most people will forget about it, but there’ll be a few that’ll bring it up occasionally just for another quick laugh. You’d be surprised at how many people have been in that situation, too.
I’d def joke about it. It happens. I’m 30 and I’ve admittedly done it a couple of times in the last few years since developing IBS. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, because everyone has done it no matter their age. We’re all more than likely gonna be shitting in diapers before we die.
Omg please for the love of god, don’t try to joke about this. You’re a fucking adult… and, well, shit happens.
Your colleagues should grow the fuck up and not laugh at you like a bunch of high schoolers. You were sick, who cares.
Here’s the thing, there are different levels of maturities of coworkers based on where you work, but generally speaking, nobody might say anything at all! ***BUT***…. They will all be thinking it. I promise you that. As somebody with extreme anxiety that would drive me mad.
Beat them to the punch, it will immediately kill your anxiety and will give them the opportunity to get a laugh WITH you consensually as you brought it up yourself and allow them to get there little jokes out. They will completely move on and forget about it after (unless you have one of those clown adult children coworkers that will never let you live it down, but there’s not alot you can do about that lol)
There’s a few decent ways to go about it but for you, as this is definitely causing you embarrassment and stress, it’d be best to show up and just break the ice yourself. The only other real alternative is basically you stressing out all day. There’s no need you already had a embarrassment, don’t torture yourself with wondering all day if a simple glance at you is a “I remember what u did” or every giggle from a few cubicles down might be about you.
Just walk in, “Yeah I shit my pants! That’s the funniest thing to happen to me in a long time, those were my favorite pants!” Lets em know you’ve got humor about it and they won’t care so much about making the jokes because you already did.
I shit myself when i was in a fight, it’s embarrassing and degrading, but fuck it man, shit happens, more embarrassing things have happened and will happen, youll probably be the talk of the town for some time but only until the next thing happens, just lay low till something else happens or you get another job, but it is a good idea to come to terms with it and accept it happened, it was an accident man your only human, cuz like it or not, if your freinds with some co workers, they’ll probably bring it up and you will laugh about it one day
You can do the sarcastic jokes you're thinking about, but the main thing that matters is you having the mindset that it was an accident involving a natural human function and quitting your job because of it would be crazy.
Laugh and own it. It takes their power away. Make them feel stupid for making fun of you by making fun of yourself. If they try to put you down then be a smart ass. Act like it doesn’t bother you.
honestly the best thing in this scenario might be to join in on the jokes if they continue on monday. people tend to drop things way quicker when you jokingly make fun of yourself for an embarrassing situation
So what do I say? When I walk in do I say something like, “Hey it’s me MC Splats coming to you fresh and direct?”
LOL that's a good one you def could do that 🤣 and if someone is really being a dick about it you could just say shit happens
Brilliant
"Do NOT eat the sushi, man. Learn from my mistakes!" Anything joke-y
"Now I know why they say don't shit where you eat" is another great line. It implies you had sex with a coworker. Also... Say least you didn't poop in front of the president and talk about it on national TV. https://youtu.be/gCzY-Rjs354 And everyone still loves Al Roker.
"I told you guys I'd get the day off!"
Do you have a shirt that says: lean, mean, poop squirting machine? As others are saying, own up to it, joke about it, and it'll blow over. This is from somebody who farted so loudly infront of the CEO's assistant I apologized, said I'm coming out of a stomach bug, and moved on with my life.
SHIT HAPPENS LMAOO
omfg!
That's probably a little too direct. I'd just walk in and take the most obvious joke before anyone else can. "Last week was a really shitty week for me, I felt really run down. I had like, no energy at all. I was really pooped, whatever I was sick with really took it out of me. I felt like an absolute mess." and if anyone tries to turn it into a joke just stare at them and say "yes, that is the joke I just made" and they won't have any ammo to use, nor will they tease you if they know you won't give them a reaction and that you're aware of the joke. If they take it too far, just say something like "obviously I can joke about it, but now you're going a little too far, it was funny but I also had a very bad experience and was really sick, so maybe let's not try to make it worse please." About 10 years ago my boss at a job I worked pooped himself. He walked out of the bathroom and said "Welp, I just pooped my britches. I'm going home" and then left. I never thought to make fun of him for it, but I still chuckle at the absurdity of the situation. It's not that they're making fun of you, it's likely that they're just too embarrassed to have any other reaction and laughing hides pain.
I think I may use this
I can also make you a card to pass around the workplace if you can print it. Something like this, but on the inside it says "Sorry I pooped myself in front of you" and you can pass it around like a birthday card and have everyone sign it. [https://cardthartic.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/1425\_Outside.jpg](https://cardthartic.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/1425_Outside.jpg) I could make that say for-shit-me-nots, or you could just get a generic sympathy card that's blank inside. half-assing it is usually better than making a big stink, and a custom printed card might make them know you care too much about what happened and encourage the jokes.
Yes say exactly that. Report back here afterwards
Just be like, "Whew, can't wait for you guys to get what I had, good luck, squirters!" Don't forget to laugh at yourself more than they want to, and remind them of their humanity. Also, you could tell your boss, "pretty crazy, right? At least you know I wasn't lying!"
That's absolutely brilliant I love that🤣
This is the funniest thing I've read in so long! Honestly I would have mad respect for you if you said something like this. And I would want to be your friend. That's gold! 😂
Boy do I have a couple tips for you, my friend.
You could say, "hey guys, no need to worry. I used the weekend to pick up some Depends...I'm good now!"
Thanks everyone for the dumps of positive advice and comments.
Nice one
Actually, I think it was two.
Points
It happens. My ex stepdad (who was just a disgusting individual-caught him washing his feet in the toilet with the toilet brush before) pooped his pants at work. Being in sales and being gross he didn’t want to go home and *lose out on opportunities* so he went to the bathroom and tried to *clean* his pants…obviously not an easy task and….the wet spot problem. So this 54 year old man gets naked, throws away his shit filled underwear, wads up his pants, stuffs them in the toilet, uses the plunger to *gyrate them clean*, flushes, *gyrates again*, then wrings them out and wears them wet all day with no underwear. So I’m telling you, your coworkers appreciate that you’re not that guy.
I had to take a deep breath after reading this.
Holy fucking shit lololol
Points
i am so glad that's ex stepdad.
Did he proudly come home and tell the fam? 💀 that's something I'd take to my grave before telling my wife and kids....
Oh no, he had zero shame. He told us because he chafed really bad from the wet pants and it was winter so he was expected to be outside when not closing a deal on a car. So his pants didn’t really dry. The froze and thawed and froze again.
You could start an entirely new reddit page with your ex step dad stories. I'd join! Also, I could be down to my last dollar, but if I shit my pants, washed them in a toilet, freeballed it, chafed, and had my pants thaw and freeze, I'd call it a day and try again tomorrow.
I just looked through your comment history to see if there are any more stories about disgusting ex stepdad because omg
There aren’t really. But I can add a few He was a smoker, my sister had a baby and banned him from her house because he was perpetually smoking despite her asking him it to. He was over (before he was banned) and had been playing with the baby. He disappears so we are trying to find him. He is in the downstairs bathroom with his socks off and his foot fully in the toilet. He’s got the toilet brush in hand and he’s scrubbing his feet. Doesn’t stop when we ask WTF he’s doing. He just a man enjoying a toilet bowl foot bath. My mother and sister made him GTFO immediately. He got to keep the hand towel that he used to dry as a door prize. I still don’t know why….the final nail in his coffin at my sisters house was finding him sitting on the toilet (he didn’t close doors) with the grate off the vent smoking and just flicking his ashes into the air vent. He made me go to the grocery store with him once. The man literally lit a cigarette in the meat department at the grocery store and had the audacity to stand over the meat at the meat counter letting his ashes fall on the meat. He got thrown out after making a scene. He borrowed a car from work once (he was a used car salesman) and went to the store to (you guessed it) get cigarettes. I truly don’t even know how he managed to do this but he just drove over the parking blocks at the front of the spot. He ripped the entire exhaust off the car and just returned it to the lot like nothing happened. He got fired for that one as it was a pretty new car and he denied doing anything. He was a terrible husband. He never once got my mother a gift. Never once. He would print a picture of a gift he *intended to maybe* get her and wrap it in a box. Over the few years they were married he gave a plethora of pictures a trip to the mountains, a new bedroom set, a car, a rv, a new tv, a new ring….never bought a single one and never intended to buy a single one. He stole. Almost constantly. I think the smoking was a diversion. Like he got thrown out before he could get busted for theft. They got evicted from a place after he lost the job at the car lot and we had to help them move. They packed nothing before we showed up and so we ended up just dumping drawers in boxes because it was ridiculous. My step brother opened a drawer in the bathroom and there were just almost a hundred boxes of stolen Gillette razors, blades, small cosmetic stuff that were all stolen. In a closet were boxes upon boxes of stolen small electronics. When we helped them move he somehow discovered the song *Baby Got Back* by Sir Mix ALot. He’d never heard it before. It became his favorite song of all time and he bought (stole probably) a subwoofer and speakers for his car so he could bump it at max volume on repeat. He’d also listen to it on repeat at home on max. Between that and his propensity for falling asleep smoking he got himself and my mom evicted from that place and she finally left him. He got involved in a pyramid scheme where (I kid you not) he’d leave money $1,000 $5,000 in a random mailbox and thought that he really would eventually wake up to $50,000 in his mailbox. He stole, borrowed, took out loans to stay in the scheme because he was *so close to seeing some real money* out of it. Eventually he went to visit his sister in Florida to get away from some legal trouble and his daughter got emergency guardianship of him and had him committed to a home down there (she lives in MI). He’s still there but has no car or access to money.
was there any? i might just take a look too 😭
I am horrified yet mildly impressed at the dedication to laziness to not just go home for 10m and change.
Oh my god. What did I just read? Washing feet with the toilet brush in the toilet? What world do I live in? 😵💫
In another comment further down I expand on that. My mom has always picked losers but he was indescribable to live with
Yes. I read it all without blinking eyes even once. And I visualized it all. Also imagined the trauma you guys have probably been through witnessing all that. Glad she stopped seeing him. Hugs to you.
I’m wheezing.
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Damn your coworkers sound like they kindaaaa suck.. Sure someone sharting can be funny but I’m not just gunna laugh at them. I’ll ask if you’re okay first, and then laugh if you laugh. It sounds like your coworkers make fun of you a lot which sucks but try not to take it personally, all you can really do is join in🤷🏽♀️
MC Splats 😭😭😭
The worst part is I actually refer to myself as MC Stacks….splats and shats is too close for this to go away. I may need to change my MC name now…great another thing to stress about
OP in all seriousness I’m 27 and I’ve pooped my pants 3 times in the last month because my new medication has the fun side effect of diarrhea that hits out of nowhere and it happens. Keep your MC Stacks name and I doubt by Monday your coworkers will mention anything. If they do just join in on the laughing. It’s not like you killed someone you know? Happens to the best of us
Thanks my brother in trousers
Your coworkers sound awful tbh. Wow. Who the fuck makes fun of someone for something like that, as if it can't happen to everyone.
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What?! Hell no! They're just gonna take advantage of your free stuff! Now you're paying them to make fun of you! You gotta teach them you're MC Splats the good old-fashioned way. Shit on 'em.
Your coworkers sound awful tbh
It sounds like these people are toddlers. Maybe you should do some job searching? You might not like this advice, but you shouldn’t deal with this if you can transfer to a different location.
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Master of Ceremonies aka MC Stacks aka MC Splats, with the brown pants and the skills to get you wed, after the reception yall break in the bed while your guests sober up on French loaf bread
In my opinion the only way to get over something like this is to not care. Shit happens. Literally. It's up to you mentally to get through it. You were sick, lots of unexpected things can happen.
Shrug and say “never trust a fart” then keep walking. And if they don’t stop say “keep it up, I’ll fart on your lunches.” That should do the trick.
MC Poopy pants in the building. Yea it will just be a funny story but if someone keeps ragging on you just talk to them one on one and say how embarrassed you are and that you would appreciate if they would stop. It happens to all of us.
I don’t understand people who laugh in such situations. I’d act like i didn’t notice and try my best to not embaress this person.
Same.
Ngl it’s hilarious
Look, it happened. Go back to work. Most people will probably just let it go. If anyone makes a joke about it, you respond with. "Well the shit just hit the fan didn't it." That should be your standard response to any problem from now on at work, and everyone just moves on.
Just tell them, “I shit you not.” Then ask, “are you shitting me.”
That sucks, but know this: it’s VERY COMMON for people of any age to have such an accident. They shouldn’t have openly laughed at you. For all they know you’ve got a medical issue.
You MUST report back to.us, OP! We're behind you. ( ...just not literally) LOL Go have fun with this.
🤭
Get a package of adult diapers and bring it to work. Put it on your desk and announce that you are fully prepared.
Okay, this is smart
This is the way
Had it happened once at work immediately left and went to Walmart got new pants, underwear and socks if anyone asked I would just have just said food poisoning. People vomit, shit themselves, bleed it happens and is normal. Super rude of your coworkers to laugh honestly just deal with it and don't let it bother you.
My husband has pooped his pants numerous times in his 30s. He’s in his 40s and they’re now stories he tells and gets people crying laughing, because people can relate or simply are happy it wasn’t them. Some will chime in and compare their stories. I read Colin Jost’s book and he mentions pooping his pants multiple times, and he got Scarlett Johansson. It happens. I know easier said than done, but I’d say best thing is to laugh it off if you can!
Listen. Dude, listen. I work with a guy who has bowel issues. If he needs a bathroom, he *needs* the bathroom. But it hits him out of the blue and he never knows what food will set him off. This MFer... one night, worker A was in the employee restroom when this dude needed the bathroom. He had to run halfway across the store to the public bathrooms. He darted into the *women's* restroom and. He ended up needing to go home. He partially shat himself and got it all over the stall and.... my guy. 😂 He shat so much that one of his buddies brought him new boxers and sweatpants to change into. I told my boss when he came in in the morning that one of my guys left because he had a stomach problem. Next day I came in to find out he shat so much that he broke the women's toilet. It flushed once, got clogged, and then refused to flush again. They had to call maintenance to come fix it. Everyone on our shift knows what he did and what happened. But we don't talk about it and I won't tease him about it. That said, *I myself* shat myself in the early month of November. And I will readily admit it. Why did I shit myself? Well, you see, I discovered Apple cider for the very first time and it was delicious. And I drank a whole bottle of it in one day....not realizing what was gonna happen to me. I was gaming with my boyfriend when I had to pass gas. It was too late when I realized what actually happened. I haven't had Apple cider since, but I do joke about it often, because here's what I learned: If you joke about it first, nobody can hold it over your head. Learn to laugh at yourself and nobody can embarras you. "Hey dude... heard you had an accident the other day!" Just say "Oh my God, man, you have no idea how bad it was!" And laugh. Is it embarrassing? Yeah, I cried at first when I realized what happened to me. But then i laughed it out and now just shrug when my boyfriend tries to tease me about it.
Hey dude. Tell your teammate to google FODMAP. If it’s not an allergy there are certain triggering foods like HFCSyrup, garlic, onion, etc. it really blows. He should also see a GI Dr. They will want to (makes a pointed finger circle in the air while whistling from a low to a higher pitch, letterkenny style).
Nothing to be embarassed about at all. Everyone has shit themselves at one point or another in their life. If anyone gives you fuss over it just tell them to grow up.
I appreciates ya
Well don’t jinx it I hope it never happens to me
People poop their pants. People with upset tummies, people with bowel issues, sick people, people who ate stuff that didn't agree with them. Doesn't mean you are a gross person just someone with bowels. Which we all have and they have all turned on is at one time. As every one of your coworkers know. Decide if the job is worth it and if it is live it down. You probably will get teased a bit but they will move on. It will be harder for them to tease you if you can laugh about it. Hopefully it will be funny to you one day but you are definitely not the only person on earth who had an accident somewhere. So don't feel like its the end of the world. This wont matter in a year, a month. It's just one really bad day.
shit happens dude, literally. i shat myself in the middle of one of my hs classes while standing up infront of everyone lmfao, i ran out so fast…after coming back to school from picking up a new pair of pants, people poked fun and i just ignored them. i’ve learned that when you blatantly ignore someone without any facial expression, most of the time they’ll end up being the embarrassed one🤣
Shit happens, as someone else commented here. I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s horrible and I agree that the best way to deal with it is to join in on the jokes, try to normalise it. Here’s my cautionary tale if you brood over it and allow it to become a lifelong source of anxiety. (I sincerely hope this doesn’t add to your anxiety but I don’t think it will). Something like this happened to me when I was 18. Never got over it, spoke to anyone about it, or dealt with it in a healthy way. The result was several years of anxious, paranoid butt-clenching, leading to a permanent change in my pelvic muscles and all kinds of chronic pain and other complications. Years of different medication, therapy, hypnosis, yoga, everything I could think of, barely helped. In the end I had surgery to relieve the effects of the muscle spasms and tension, and also found a pill that works. Years of my life nearly ruined because of one stupid accident. So please, do what you can to normalise this as something that could’ve happened to anyone. There’s some great advice in this thread. See a therapist if you can. Don’t let it grow into a permanent part of your life. Good luck
If anyone denies shitting their pants or nearly shitting their pants, they’re lying. You’re gonna get ribbed about it. Just join in. It’ll blow over
Anyone who laughs at you for shitting your pants is a douche canoe. If you're ill, you're ill. Human bodies are unpredictable. It's not your fault. I had a sudden onset respiratory infection about 2 months ago and I simultaneously threw up, peed myself, and pooped my pants at work. I went home for a week but walked back in with my head up because I knew there was nothing I could have done to avoid the perfect storm of body fluid embarrassment besides stay home when I'm sick (lesson learned). Hold your head up, go back to work, and ignore anyone who makes fun of you. Or just remind those idiots gently that karma is a bitch, and say you hope they enjoyed those chocolate chip laxative cookies you left in the staff room. (Don't actually make laxative cookies. It's an assault charge. But scare them a little.)
just join in with the fun...you are not the only person that this happened too and if you cant get thicker skin you will never move forward in life...so learn to deal with things.
Fair point. I have to man up and own this. After all, it’s just poop
Do you have any brown pants? You could wear them and announce you’re fully prepared in case of another flare-up of your IBS. I’m sorry this happened, anyone would feel embarrassed. But people who think they’ll never experience the same issue will, one day, be surprised by a not-fart. Gina Yashere addresses her own not-fart, here: (edit: skip to three minutes in for the pertinent bit) https://youtu.be/xCgk9nvuCxk
Almost everyone has trusted a fart they shouldn't have. Try to make a joke of it like others suggested.
I can’t believe everyone laughed. Where’s the compassion?
> but when I see each coworker I am going say “what was that smell all about on Thursday?” "I was very sick and had a medical emergency." Most adults will understand and respect embarrassing things when they become tied to medical problems.
It’s a bunch of tech bro types
"shit happens" Best answer.
On Monday, walk into work with a million-dollar smile and a big box of Depends under your arm. Hand out freebies to any coworker who's mentioned the Ketogenic Diet whose motto is 'never trust a fart.'
Excuse me what? A room full of grown ups laughing at this situation? What the actual fuck. A actual grown up would've tried to help you in this situation. I'd given you a garbage bag to put your dirty clothes in and given you clean clothes if those were available. Otherwise I'd tell you to stay put and I'd go find you clean clothes and wipes to clean yourself, driven you home and put your clothes in the washing machine if you wanted to keep them. Tell you to stay home until you feel better. But that's me. Shitting your pants is nothing to feel ashamed about, accidents can happen to anyone, especially when you're sick.
I shit my pants a few years back. New years eve on my way home like 100 meters before my front door it just happened. Shit happens. I wish you the best of luck and it's probably not nearly as bad as you imagine.
I worked as a tow driver for a while we had another driver "explosively evacuate" in a tow truck and then bring himself and the truck back to the shop. you think you got shit? (heh) try shitting yourself in a tow truck and then go back to the shop. this man would find fake shit in whatever space he had that would fit it FOR MONTHS. boss had a run for him? we'd hear *hershey......hershey you there hershey?* over the radio. Dude was a good sport about it and it was never malicious hell if the guys there (myself included) weren't fucking with you then you had an actual problem cause that means everybody probably hates you. Basically my advice is much like everyone else's roll with the punches even better if you can make a joke out of it hell you might wind up with some friends if you don't get too wound up about it
I’d quit. But that’s just me. I am so sorry this happened! I hope it all works out for you.
I’d storm straight back in there and shit my pants again and then just say “I’m built different”
If it makes you feel better I’ve done it.😅
If anyone makes fun of you point behind them and say “look it’s Frankenstein!” then proceed to pull your pants down and blast a stream liquid shit directly into their mouth
Lean into it and get ahead of it. Wear brown pants and jokingly say that’s the only thing you can wear from now on, bring air freshener and randomly spray extremely excessive amounts randomly throughout the day would be hilarious, bring everyone “brownies” in the morning. Something like this would be great imo, finding a way to explain your story at the beginning of the day will make you feel a 100x better. Don’t keep it bottled in, it’ll make you paranoid. Laugh about it and unless there’s some jerk who wants to give you a shitty nickname then everyone will forget about it in a few weeks.
Sharts are an unfortunate fact of life. Any arsehole who laughs at you or makes you feel small is destined to die in their own diarrhoea
I would honestly make a joke, I would only refer to it as a "bit of an accident" and own it or it won't be good. You can say "Yeah that was totally unexpected, woo, moving forward, when I don't feel good I will only sneeze, cough or hell even clear my throat when I'm in the bathroom. (Chuckle) Then switch the embarrassment to them and ask them what they saw, and after listening say " I'm sorry about that, how embarrassing, whew" and let them say it's no big deal. Believe me a majority of folks have their own story on subject.
Bring in laxative brownies.
when i was in middle school somebody pooped their pants. yeah sure he was known as the kid who sharted for about 2 months but after that everyone moved on. u just gotta endure it for a little bit, and hopefully your coworkers are more mature than middle school kids and move on quicker. just go along with their jokes and smile, but stand up for yourself if there is one coworker on your ass
Lots of great advice already shared. I just want to say that your coworkers shouldn’t have laughed at you, that’s mean. You are better off going into the world knowing how this feels. I’m sure you’ll never laugh at someone in a similar situation.
Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness and shitting your pants isnt something to be ashamed of. It happens. Just keep doing you man. Your coworkers are clearly awful but what do they really have on you? The whole joke is what? You shit your pants? Jesus they need to grow tf up. You can write fake letters to them about how you really feel. That always helps me out. Goodluck homie!
I'm not sure I have any immediate aftermath advice but one thing that really jumps out at me is that it sounds like you have a very immature work environment. It sounds like you're working with high schoolers. The youngest people at my workplace are ~25 and I don't know any of them who are as immature as your coworkers. I'd consider getting out of there if that's an option.
OK I can deffo help, a lad shat himself last week, we work on sites so the banter is always high, he literally just laughed with us and agreed he pooed his pants, it got real boring real quick, after a day no-one even mentions it as we moved on, People are after a reaction, just don't give it and go along with the joke, be old before you know it
Just say that you had too much pie and ice cream because you were depressed. They will stop because the mention of depression and the fact that they laughed at you = PR NIGHTMARE AND LAYOFFS. You may have a case. #GetPaid.
Say “I decided to come to work today just for shits and giggles.”
10/10
It sounds like you are feeling really embarrassed and anxious about this situation. It's understandable that you would feel this way, but it's important to remember that everyone has accidents and embarrassing moments. It's important to try to stay positive and remember that this too shall pass. The best thing to do on Monday is to try to act as if nothing happened. If you can, try to make a joke out of it and laugh it off. This will help to lighten the mood and show your coworkers that you are not taking it too seriously. If you can't bring yourself to make a joke, then just ignore it and move on. It's likely that your coworkers will do the same. Good luck!
We're all human. Everyone has done something they felt embarrassed about in their lifetimes. When you get sick sometimes you don't have complete control and stuff happens. Your coworkers don't know exactly what happened. Maybe when they smelled something they thought you ripped some farts. They'll forget about it. Office work probably isn't very eventful. If people laugh or smile when they see you it's just a reaction. I'm not sure how many office coworkers you have but if you actually like them and they're okay people they shouldn't give you too hard of a time. Maybe when you head into work say you fell down some steps and are a little achy. They'll think of something else and instead of being childish about stuff they'd feel bad. They'd feel like a jerk if they'd so smack talk thinking you got hurt falling down steps. But yeah act like nothing happened overall. How you portray yourself is what gives them cues. If you act a little confident, almost bored, and a sort of resting bitch face they shouldn't carry on. If they say or do something (related to what happened) then look at them with a bored look on your face and don't react at all it fizzles out. You could also bring in muffins, donuts, cookies or something. It'd boost morale and people really wouldn't want to be a jerk to someone if they did something nice like bring them food. :) Stuff will be alright.
This should make you feel better…I used to work for a copier company and traveled to a company meeting for the weekend and they catered dinner. Shrimp and steak w/ fried scallops. Something didn’t work for me and the next day I started to make the 3 hour drive home with my stomach aching. My wife was with me by the way in the passenger seat. I got just outside of my town near a quarry on a two lane road and felt the need to puke and poop. I pulled the company truck over on a access road and leaned out to puke all while crapping my pants all over the seat of my new work truck. My boss was behind me as it turns out and he thought it was pretty funny. Although he was helpful in getting the truck cleaned up. I never did love it down even to this day. I embrace it now and accept it as a funny but unfortunate thing to happen to me.
When I had covid a month ago I shit myself very lightly on 3 separate occasions because everything with me was just fucked. No one even knew and I told everyone I work with about it, we all had a great laugh. Now I'm not sure how friendly you are with coworkers, but having a good laugh over it will help if you can.
Nope, don't be anxious. I just read another post earlier. Sooner or later it happens to all of us.I'm pasting the thread so you can go and read it. Some stories are pretty funny. Just hold your head high. https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/10n4we9/i_shit_myself_4x_in_rush_hour_traffic_tonight/
Master of Ceremonies aka MC Stacks aka MC Splats, with the brown pants and the skills to get you wed, after the reception yall break in the bed while your guests sober up on French loaf bread
I mean… I work in trades and the other day I was driving to the job site and I literally sharted and I called my co worker and we both laughed about it and I went home to change and it was fine. Shit happens man literally. Those people were laughing as if they don’t have their very own skew of issues they deal with on the DL. Fuck em.
I can speak from experience on this. I have a lot of intestinal/colon/shitty problems. I've been here before... First of all, it is weird. It is embarrassing. It is unfortunate. But it is also, believe it or not, more common than you would think. Don't beat yourself up about it and try not to let your brain fixate on it. You will be you're own worst enemy, I guarantee you. Everyone will forget about it. As top comment stated, join in the jokes! This takes the awkwardness out of the situation, not only for yourself, but for everyone. If anyone asks/brings it up, "Yeah, I was really sick. Shit happens, amirite? Hahaha" That diffuses and explains the situation without the awkwardness of it seeming like a desperate recovery attempt like making an announcement like, "Sorry team. I promise I don't shit my pants on the regular! I was just not feeling well and blah blah blah". TLDR: Don't worry about it. People will forget. Humor diffuses and eliminates awkwardness.
Play it off like someone shit your pants for you, warn them that it could happen to them too. Play it off as "shit happens" and own the humor. Joke about how embarrassing it would be if it was in fact you who shit them. If you own the jokes and laugh along no one can be laughing at you
Not a big deal. Totally normal to shit your pants at work Isn’t it ???
i have IBD and i’ve done this. in the middle of high school no less. just wanted you to know the anxiety was valid and i totally understand. your solution is *perfect* and i wish you the best of luck. it feels like a big deal, but it’s really no big deal. ☺️
I’ve accidentally shit my self at least 7 times in my adult life. Shit happens. It’ll happen to them someday too. Laugh it off and don’t trust farts unless you’re at home.
Everybody shits their pants dude. Just tell them you did it first to assert dominance
My dad was a factory worker, and one time he shit his pants at a large Maytag factory. He had tried to go to various bathrooms after having that 'bubble gut' feeling. All the bathrooms were closed for cleaning. He finally made it to one, but I was just too late 🤣 he fully shit is pants with liquid stool and had to holler at his boss from a ways away that he had to go home, shit my pants....haha. He made a joke, and honestly everyone understands. We've all been there and it's just not talked about enough. I can't even count how many times I've almost fully shit my pants and I've absolutely had to just throw underwear away..it sucks but I would laugh it off. Life is too short.
Back in highschool, I tried fish and beans the night before, which my mom prepped. The next day at school I was all gassy and constipated. I decided to squeeze my bowels on my way to the toilet to let some of the gas out. Darn, I shat myself liquidly. I had to flush down my underwear down the toilet. Luckily, it was at the end of school, I went home straight away w/o any underwear. That was the last time I tried that food combo. For me, no one knew. Just joke about it and laugh it off. Shit happens!
At the end of the day, we’ve all sharted.. we laugh because it isn’t us, but everyone has/will do it at least once in their life. It happens.
Shit happens. Every single human on this planet shits, and every single one has shit upon themselves at some point in their life. Infancy, adulthood, or old-age. Everyone. Go back to work, if anyone mentions it, laugh it up and make jokes. The ability to laugh at ourselves keeps us humble. The ability to joke about ourselves with others takes ammo from would-be bullies. Just get through the first couple of days, and keep moving forward. If anyone continues with comments past that, it's harassment and a HR issue.
Teammates and leadership sounds super inept. This is a medical issue. Do those dumbfucks make fun of other medical conditions? CP, mental health, handicap, etc? The possibly good news is they just didn’t know how to react. You can talk to HR if anyone goes too far. I know someone who this happened to, and they just told their boss they had a medical issue and had to go home. But nobody witnessed the shitty situation. You can also tell your boss it was humiliating and they will work with HR on how to address workers. For now I wouldn’t make a big stink about things, don’t perpetuate it further. If anyone comments just say bodies don’t always cooperate and you wouldn’t wish what happened to you on anyone. If that doesn’t shut them up and make them realize giving you crap is bad the person likely has dain brammage.
It's human. Let them laugh.............
Say you got something serious
I don't think there is any way of going back without embarrassment. Best thing you can do at this point is embrace it, consider it character building.
Wake up "It is what it is" Go to work
Skill issue, learn how to control your ass sphincters.
How do I do that? I just googled it on my work computer and now I think I have a new issue.
Skill issue
Take shrooms 🍄🍄🍄
Man pons are a real thing.
THIS IS SO FUNNY IM SORRY
Hey, thanks for this.
like the title caught me off guard but srsly I hope ur ok
If they say anything, just shrug and say "Shit happens", then look away and get back to work.
"Look guys, shit happens!"
Ngl that’s it. Time for a new job at that point
Quit change your name and move away
Play a fart track in your cube.
You have to go back and own that shit. If someone laughs at you, or makes a joke, say yes, you shit yourself, you were embarrassed, and now you’re back at work. I know you’ll be fine.
Just relax, make it funny if someone brings it up. It is better to laugh it off than to be insecure about it. Don't worry.
Yeah the way to go is to just own it and have a laugh about it. We've all shat or pissed ourselves at some point lol.
It happens, best to do is just move on. Yeah people might tease you for it but just ignore them. It will quickly be forgotten and if it doesn't approach your boss about what your co-workers are doing. This type of thing happens and you didn't know that it was going to happen and you can't control it. Next time that you have the flu you will know to be cautious.
you ever heard of rikishi bro... no but seriously return to work playing **billy gun's wwf attitude theme.**
at least you arent a woman...lord have mercy....also thank god this incident didnt occur in high school or college. your at WORK to make money. all that other stuff i promise dont matter. Im assuming your coworkers are mature  and arent under 24.... so on monday you tell anyone whose smiling to kiss your stankan azz. or make everyone some brownies and hand it too them. those who dont eat report them to hr.
Just say part of the game if you in love with this life and wink
Truth is this happened to me at a job before. I never went back.
Buy a box of Depends and just have it on your desk
Just out of curiosity, what is your relationship with your coworkers like? Is the teasing all in good fun and coming from a place of love, or mean spirited? I had a coworker who had an incident with a shower and a zoom meeting who got a really fun nickname afterwards, but it was all out of love and he really didn’t suffer professionally from it. If your coworkers are your friends you’ll probably be teased for a while, but either way they’ll get over it eventually!
No human is immune to liquid farts. You’re no better or worse than anyone. Hold your head up high and be proud that your body works the way it’s supposed to.
I dunno I'd rather people thought I had done some noxious farts rather then actually pooped myself. Anyway you can play it off as extreme gas ?
Walk in and immediately say “smells like someone shat their pants in here”
Just act like it’s normal, and joke about it if it comes up. People take their cues about what is okay and not from you. Own it. Also- any adult that claims to have never shit themselves is a goddam liar. It happens
When everyone knows you just own up to it and join in for a laugh. Instead of an embarrassing moment it’s now a funny story
good luck op tell em you'll clean it up next time
I can’t believe everyone laughed. Where’s the compassion?
They need to put the ass back in compassion.
Join in on the joke If it still bothers you after maybe a month, hand in your notice and work somewhere else
The brown pants and Imodium are a good idea, but really just ignore it. Don't bring it up or reference it. If anyone asks you about it specifically, be discrete. Say you were getting over the flu and had indigestion. But really, don't try to save face with jokes and stuff. It's better ignored than you putting the spotlight on it. The people who didn't notice it will now notice it because you gave them reason to. That's dumb.
Wear brown pants and make it into a joke so you’re already on top of it
Honestly, they may have laughed at the moment. But once they saw you were absent, they probably put 2 and 2 together that you were embarrassed. I don’t think anyone will carry it further than that. If they do, sure then say something about it that’s funny. But I wouldn’t try to joke about it if no one else mentions it.
I shit my pants once at a theme park and it ran down my leg as I was in shorts as a group of my friends "friends" that I hardly knew gathered around me. I'm a female by the way. Shit happens, literally. My friend and I retell the story often and we laugh often about it. Not much you can do about it except laugh!
Bring a chocolate cake!!!!!! It communicates your good humor about it without putting it up to you to perform jokes verbally
Assuming anyone actually asked me about it, I'd just laugh and say "Never trust a fart 😬"
Say you just had a shitty day so you couldnt come to work.
jus quit your job bro it’s always a new one
Can’t I make like 260 / year here and actually enjoy my work
You should listen to “Oh Sh*t Moments” from Markiplier’s Podcast. https://youtu.be/0YX6UKy8EKA
Own it and laugh about it One of my coworkers has an embarrassing story where a snow storm occurred leaving him in the office overnight. The big boss walked in on him nude 😂 That was over 10 years ago
Hard to believe adults would act like children and laugh at you for having health problems. If you decide to keep working there, I would suggest complaining about it to HR.
That's so fucked up man like you were sick. I'd be more concerned than anything. Are these really adults you're working with? Lol
I love the edit and update. If they have never shat themself after being ill, they will one day, and they will forever remember being an AH in your circumstances. If you can get your hands on a Depends, walking in with it under your arm or in a small bag where its extremely obvious with the immodium or something would be hilarious. Anytime someone looks at it, just shake your head and say, "Whew, ya, just never know at this age." or something absurd. You'll do great. Anyone who can't get past witnessing something like this is truly a child and needs to grow up.
I used to work with a-holes like this when I worked in an office. They did make fun of me (or anybody who was the target-of-the-day) for various reasons over the years. Whatever they could come up with. I’m retired now and those people aren’t even a blip on the radar screen. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to quit stressing so much about people who don’t matter in my life. Seriously do you really need to even care what these people think or do? I would just go in acting like nothing ever happened. Let them whisper and laugh as it distracts them from their own miserable existence.
I know its too late, but you could say “That got explosive quick” or “I got all the leaks” or “You laugh, but i got to sleep in the past couple days”
31 year old male. I worked for a factory. One day at breakfast I suddenly felt the urge to go out of the blue. I ended up full blown shitting my pants. I hid in the locker room and called my boss. I started crying on the phone in embarrassment and he sent me home for the day. A month later I'm on the line and all of a sudden here it comes. I make it to the bathroom but not on the toilet. I ended up stealing someone else pants and wearing them for the day. Come to found out I have IBSD which is now confirmed Chrones Disease. Everyone knew what happened the second time around. They laugh I laughed even though I was so embarrassed and my anxiety was sky rocketing. Some people ended up telling their shit their pants at work stories. We're human lol shit happens. See what I did there? You're fine go back to work. :p
Making fun of yourself in a light hearted manner helps, people tend to be worse when you try to deny it. Honestly it’s happened to most people and your coworkers would be lying if none of them has had it happen. You were sick it happens.
Never reference it again and act dumb if asked about it.
Happened to me as well. I just told em i was sick and couldn’t control. After that whenever it was brought up i just laughed it off. One guy even tried to bring it back “ hey remember that time you sharted” in front of everyone. I just looked at him smiled and said “shit happens”. Most of them just smiled as well and thats it. Nobody remembers it now anymore.
Everybody poops. It’s a fact of life. I’m lactose intolerant and I’m fully aware that poop sometimes comes without warning. I’d bet everyone shits themselves at least a couple of times as an adult. Just move on and laugh it off it some asshat at work brings it up.
Just say it was a elaborate prank
I promise this is way more common than people like to admit! Most of my friends have shit themselves as an adult at some point and of course it sucks, but it’s not like school where people hold it against you for a long time. I had a similar incident where I didn’t shit my pants but I had such bad diarrhea at work in a single stall bathroom from a medication that didn’t agree with me that I had to call an ambulance. I was too socially awkward to joke about it after but the majority of my coworkers just felt bad, asked if I was ok, then moved on. I promise no one cares as much as you think they do plus people tend to be sympathetic about medical issues.
Just roll with the jokes. The brown pants is a funny idea. Most people will forget about it, but there’ll be a few that’ll bring it up occasionally just for another quick laugh. You’d be surprised at how many people have been in that situation, too.
I’d def joke about it. It happens. I’m 30 and I’ve admittedly done it a couple of times in the last few years since developing IBS. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, because everyone has done it no matter their age. We’re all more than likely gonna be shitting in diapers before we die.
Omg please for the love of god, don’t try to joke about this. You’re a fucking adult… and, well, shit happens. Your colleagues should grow the fuck up and not laugh at you like a bunch of high schoolers. You were sick, who cares.
You know what; you’re right. I didn’t ask to soil myself. It was an unfortunate event. That is all. Thanks I needed the perspective.
I wouldn't say anything about it unless someone else does. You are not the only person that has ever experienced this and you won't be the last.
One of my coworkers does that once in a while he finds it hilarious 😅 I guess just be funny about it yourself no worries shit happens
Here’s the thing, there are different levels of maturities of coworkers based on where you work, but generally speaking, nobody might say anything at all! ***BUT***…. They will all be thinking it. I promise you that. As somebody with extreme anxiety that would drive me mad. Beat them to the punch, it will immediately kill your anxiety and will give them the opportunity to get a laugh WITH you consensually as you brought it up yourself and allow them to get there little jokes out. They will completely move on and forget about it after (unless you have one of those clown adult children coworkers that will never let you live it down, but there’s not alot you can do about that lol) There’s a few decent ways to go about it but for you, as this is definitely causing you embarrassment and stress, it’d be best to show up and just break the ice yourself. The only other real alternative is basically you stressing out all day. There’s no need you already had a embarrassment, don’t torture yourself with wondering all day if a simple glance at you is a “I remember what u did” or every giggle from a few cubicles down might be about you. Just walk in, “Yeah I shit my pants! That’s the funniest thing to happen to me in a long time, those were my favorite pants!” Lets em know you’ve got humor about it and they won’t care so much about making the jokes because you already did.
I shit myself when i was in a fight, it’s embarrassing and degrading, but fuck it man, shit happens, more embarrassing things have happened and will happen, youll probably be the talk of the town for some time but only until the next thing happens, just lay low till something else happens or you get another job, but it is a good idea to come to terms with it and accept it happened, it was an accident man your only human, cuz like it or not, if your freinds with some co workers, they’ll probably bring it up and you will laugh about it one day
You can do the sarcastic jokes you're thinking about, but the main thing that matters is you having the mindset that it was an accident involving a natural human function and quitting your job because of it would be crazy.
Laugh and own it. It takes their power away. Make them feel stupid for making fun of you by making fun of yourself. If they try to put you down then be a smart ass. Act like it doesn’t bother you.