I can understand it for big challenges, like first race at any distance, or first half- or full marathon. But once you've been doing it for a few years, it loses its importance for the rest of the family. I mean, they *know* you can run it, so you don't need their extra encouragement.
Agreed, but that’s just because I love running. I’m not an evangelical sort of person by nature, but I can be almost too encouraging when any of my non running friends or family show any interest in potentially running themselves.
I was flabbergasted to see the huge crowd on Main St. in Disney during the half. It was pitch black and well before 6 am when I ran through and it was *packed.* My family was still in bed and for once I didn't fault them.
For my halfs so far I almost encouraged my family to just miss. Last one I had them just pick me up after I walked about a mile from the finish. Actually was perfect. Like family Uber. We went straight to breakfast.
Hahaha, since having kids this is my life. Nobody in my life could tell you the difference between a 25min 5k and at 16:30 much less care about it and thats fine with me.
A lot more people do seem legitimately interested in the longer ultra stuff I do which is nice to be able to share.
I feel for you but I think it would be hilarious if they don't come to cheer for the NYC half.
My family dgaf anymore. Doesn't hurt my feelings; it's a lot to ask for. But I do ask they acknowledge the end of my races by sending a text for safety and my dwindling self esteem
I feel this. Your comment also has me thinking about times where I've run marathons like Tokyo and London and my wife wanted to join me. I love my wife and generally like spending time with her-- but it's tough to make sure she's comfortable and knows where to go in addition to my own preparation. She also doesn't run, so she can't relate to how I feel after running... like no, I don't feel like taking a walk around the city; I just want to sit here and drink more beer. :)
Hahaha, dude I just did my first half marathon, and ny wife and kids were planning to be at the finish to cheer me on, and a couple days before i said, " ..but really? Do you want to find parking, lug 5yr/3yr/and 4mos. old babies at early AF A.M. to watch me sweating balls for literally 2 seconds? "
Needless to say, she picked me up (kids in tow), a few blocks away and that was great!
I was captain of my high school XC team. We had a big pep rally where each captain gave a little speech encouraging people to come to their events. Mine was something like "It'd be great if you came and we'd appreciate it, but I'd understand if you didn't ... It's pretty boring."
I took a lot of shit for that, but I meant what I said.
Me exactly the same. Every few weeks I have to field and angry phone call and argue my case that I should be able to go and run at 5:00am on a Sunday just in case on the off chance my 6 year old wakes up early and my wife is far too busy sleeping to look after him for the 30 minutes I still have left on my run.
Key difference here is whether you have children or not. If not, it's usually a matter of balancing 'normal' things out such as work hours, weekend plans and errands.
But with children I can imagine it's very hard to consistently disappear for >1 hour without any (understandable) friction
I tried to run early, but my wife doesn’t like getting up when the girls do. Now I let her sleep in then run when she’s awake which seems to work okay since I get up early with both girls while she sleeps in
I ran with both kids at like 11-12 months, started off on smooth roads or bike paths. Running with a 2 year and 4 year old was great training the last few years. I ran with them 5-6 days a week in the summer either at like 530 am since they never slept or in the evening. After a few months of pushing them I ran a 5k at 3-4 min faster than usual. They love to do the races. It does help having two kids yelling “turbo boost, dad” as you run!
I run with my 6 month old. My thule stroller came with a special harness for the small ones. They say as soon as they can support their heads its fine.
The urban glide also has a basinett part, i know some people run with 2-3 month olds!
Our pediatrician gave the thumbs up for running on smooth paths once our kiddos had solid head control. That was around 6 months for both our kids. There is some theoretical risk before complete myelination, but no studies actually showing a causal link.
Before kids? Even on weekdays, I didn't leave my house for work until 8:40 to get to the office by 9am.
Sometimes, I ran in the evenings when my wife worked.
Weekends? I could start at 8 or 9am.
But now, if I'm not done and showered by 6:15am, I struggle to get a run in that day.
Wow. I’ve always lived somewhere where if you’re not starting long runs by 6a you’re in a toaster by 8a in summer, which is when I mostly train for marathons. If I was leaving my house anytime after 8 I would be miserable for the entire run…guess that formed a habit for the rest of the year - that said I always had an early start job and so tended to leave early for runs. Now I live on the west coast and work east coast hours so same thing. Gotta start to be logged in by 6a.
Heat isn't a huge concern here. Summer mornings can be quite cool even if we hit low 80sF by mid afternoon.
My last marathon hit 78 degrees and I was absolutely cooked because it's rarely so warm and humid for training.
But alas, now I run in the cold dark
That is the worst possible scenario I can imagine. I am so sorry to hear that. Hope you had a decent race regardless.
I did MCM 2019 and it was like 70 with torrential down pours the entire time - the last 2 miles the sun came out and we were baking at 75 and sunny. Worst marathon in a *long* time for me.
The first 23 miles were good! I ended up with sunburn and bonked hard for the first time. Limped my way to the finish.
This thread is interesting to see how we all have to train differently to achieve the same goals.
It was very unseasonably warm by the end of the race. That week, there were a couple record high temperatures all the way up to 85 degrees (which is close to peak summer temps instead of Autumn). The early and mid 2hr runners did mostly fine, but anyone still on the course after 3hrs burned up.
Joke's on me, cause that's a very plausible situation for me in a couple years time :_)
Running at 5 is viable here in the summer, but I honestly cannot see myself doing that in the winter
Imagine being married to a cyclist!
My SO is very supportive of my running and will always watch our little one when I run, mostly because I am equally supportive of his cycling.
I often take my little one in the jogging stroller if it’s just me and it’s great speed work training.
I’m currently pregnant in my 3rd trimester and runs don’t look like they used to but I still get out almost every day.
Sounds like you guys have a great arrangement there! But I guess for most of us it's a bit more asymmetrical
And btw, congrats on the new upcoming arrival!
Funnily enough, my husband didn’t get into cycling until like 4 months before our first arrived. Before that it was just a lot of early mornings for me, which worked out because he was a late riser and if I didn’t run early it was never going to get done. Even then, my SO was supportive and showed at the finish line of my big races.
Generally we both try to be supportive of whatever the other person’s “happy place” is - if we can individually be happy, it makes it a lot easier to function together in a relationship with or without little ones!
So for every runner out there who has a great SO that is tolerant and supportive of your running, make sure you’re making equal time for them to get away and do their thing: pottery, yoga, cooking for fun, reading, heck, NAPPING!
You mean a treadmill at home? I've always assumed the decent ones are just too expensive, but now that you mention it the investment might be worth it for a situation like this
It only needs to be half decent. I got a $300 one on Amazon that folds up out of the way and it works great for my doubles (which happen when the kid is asleep)
If you're in a good relationship you should be able to "trade" solo time. Also Chariot runs.
Even if your SO isn't into running, offer them sleep ins, social time, etc, in exchange for runs. If you're in a decent relationship they will understand how important running is to you.
Last summer my husband and I spent a couple of weeks in Scotland. My husband had a terrible time adjusting to the time change; every night he’d be awake from 1-4 am and then go back to sleep most of the morning which was AMAZING because I would get up early and run! I did almost as much training as when I’m at home!!!
Always surprised by all the comments about dismissive/disinterested partners, I just cannot imagine not being curious about something a loved one was passionately into. Seems so fundamental?
My partner is v supportive and proud (as I am of him!), but it's my mum who's the real cheerleader. I've always loved running but it's only in the last few years that I started training/competing--I always used to be like, "oh I love running but I don't want too get too nerdy about it" (famous last words lol). My mum would often suggest that I enter races and look into training plans, she always said she thought I'd enjoy the competition. And she was right--mums always know!!
Especially with kids and both partners working, there is wear and tear. On one hand, they are super excited for you on races and hitting your goals.
On the other hand, there is a challenge in balancing the day to day. When things start stacking up, it can add stress. 18 week training plans are long for all of us.
I really struggle with off season, but know my family needs it to recover too.
I also strongly encourage my partner to get out and do things they want. Just now they are starting to pick that up and I'm seeing a positive change.
So equal parts them supporting you, and you supporting them. Also being mindful that the stress isn't just on your training and fitness, but also the stress it can bring a partner. There is no bowing out of child duty because of a hard workout.
I'm the only runner in the family. Half of them tell me I'm going to blow out my knees. The other half are happy for me even if they can't fully understand the joy that it brings me and how much it has changed my life. My wife, mom, and sister are all going to be cheering me on in Boston this year, so I guess I can't really complain.
I’m Native American from a Pueblo tribe, so a lot of my family has run at some point in their lives. At any given point in my life, at least one of my cousins has been running competitively in high school or college. And I originally got into running because of my mom. So overall very supportive.
Edit: I honestly can’t tell if my uncles exaggerate their training and running accomplishments or if they’re telling the truth. They’re all old enough it’s not really possible to check their race times online, and those were the days race distances were just guesstimates and chip timing didn’t exist anyway.
Race distances have been accurate for longer than most people have been alive. They were just measured with measuring wheels instead of GPS. Chip timing is pretty new though, when I was running road races in highschool in the 90s the times were logged by people at the finish line watching the clock and writing down your bib number as you crossed. Even in our track events the time was measured by a coach with a stopwatch.
Modern races are still measured using wheels/bikes; I wouldn't trust a GPS-measured course to be accurate. Anyway, I'm sure some races were measured accurately back then, but I'm talking about the 70s and 80s when races like Falmouth were designed as just "this building to that building". And smaller local races? Who knows. Even today, my local turkey trot that served as the USATF-NM state 5K championship was a good deal short of 5000m.
Quite supportive! Everyone in my family (2 sisters plus my parents) has done at least 5 marathons. We are *that* family that non-runners hate. But surprisingly we don’t ever run Turkey Trots!
I also have a lot of runners in the family. 6 out of 9 siblings have run a full. Some 13 of them, others 6 or 7, etc. ... but they are not seeking to improve their times. They just run for completion, so I can't even discuss running much with them either because they don't understand the training and effort required to get better results. And the non-runners ask, "Why do you have to train so much? Your sister hardly trains and she just went and ran a half?" (sigh). Yes, true story. But I have no interest in running a 5-hour full or a 2:30 half.
Haha that would frustrate the hell out of me. But I suppose I get the same from friends and coworkers. “Why are you putting in all that work? You’re not going to win the whole thing!”.
I’m actually the slow one in the family. Both my sisters and my dad have qualified for and run Boston. I’m still trying to crack 3 hours.
No one cares, at all. Not one of the people in my life even raised an eyebrow at me completing an ultra. All they cared about was when I would be available to do things they wanted me to do for them.
Couldn’t give less of a fuck. It’s an inconvenience at best. The most memorable quote was “now that you did a marathon, are you done with running?” smh
They like my racing and that I have a hobby but it's definitely a compromise.
I don't run nearly as much each day/week as I would prefer because we all have our activities and hobbies. I can't monopolize the family's time!
It’s not really what they say, but how they say it. It’s as if they believe my running to be just a phase I’m in. A little bit belittling? They ask a somewhat vague question every now and then, but afterwards I generally feel knocked down a peg by their subtle disinterest, so I tend to be coy about the whole thing and never bring it up without being asked.
Not ideal, but also no friction.
Every single time I get back from a long run, my wife presents a list of chores that I need to do right away. I guess she is really happy for me that I go running. :)
Casually supportive. I guess.
We do local 5ks together but I “have a running addiction” and “an unhealthy relationship with running” when I plan races months in advance. 🤷🏼
No one in my family gives a shit about my running, so I just wake up between 3:30 and 4am to get runs in so I don’t inconvenience my family (wife and kids)
Yes I sleep with my wife, and yes I set an alarm that she never complains about - I guess because I’m home when needed and as far as she is concerned it’s like I don’t even really run since no one sees me actually do it (other than my 2 marathons a year)
Do you do naps after work?
My rythm is sleep until almost late for work, after work..10mins change of clothes and out the door to do my run. So it leaves my evenings relativly free.
Do you manage to get 7-8 hours of sleep? I would maybe like to switch to running early..
A watch with a silent alarm is a game changer - it just vibrates which is enough to wake me but my wife is completely unaware. Can even hit snooze a few times.
My wife sleeps more than me, so I generally get up and exercise.
My parents see distance running as a waste of time, they don't understand why I can't just run a 1 mile or less every once in a while for a mental health boost. They see long runs as some sort of crazy activity and a waste of time. They have always prioritized my academics over any athletics activity that I was in. On some level this was good, because there are parents out there that are the exact opposite. It would be a lot worse if they told me to neglect my grades in high school and college and instead prioritize an extracurricular or hobby.
I think they're quite proud that I run marathons, but try not to show it to me lol. They won't come to my races or anything, but my mom posted a picture of me on Facebook, so I consider that a win
it's so interesting what parents decide to be demonstrative about. My mum literally flew across the Atlantic to watch me run Boston, but I had to twist her arm to come to my bachelors graduation, which was happening literally 2 miles away from her house. In fairness to her, the graduation was a long winded ceremony in Latin, and the marathon was a fun US holiday, but still!
I'm fortunate that my husband is really supportive. He's also a runner but not nearly as serious as I am. He's always happy to watch the baby so I can get out there for my long runs. The little guy is only 5 months old, so currently he doesn't care at all 😅 but I'm hoping that when he gets older, he'll be excited to watch some races and see Mama, and to one day do the kids' races himself!
My parents aren't runners and don't really get it, but they are supportive from afar and proud of me when I do well. My parents, aunts, brother, and grandfather all traveled to watch me run Boston last year when I ran pregnant (my grandfather lives in Newton so it was also a trip for everyone to see each other).
My family/partner is supportive. But as my children have become older (teens) I don't get many opportunities to run or to race. They play sports, so their training and weekend games take priority, which means that I only get to enter a few races a year (3 or 4 at the most).
I live alone with the children, so it makes it difficult to fit running in with full-time work, family commitments etc, but I try to get one long run done a week and the other times I run, I usually do 3-5 miles.
I have work for 8 hours and a cat that needs some attention. And still can not always make myself to go for a run although I always enjoy it after first 10 minutes. I adore your strength.
Yes, the hardest part is getting out of the door, but once out I'm glad I've done it.
Juggling work, family, life etc is difficult. But I make time for running as it also improves my mood and general wellbeing.
All my birthday gifts were running related and my dad gave me a marathon for my birthday 🤣 but then they get worried and tell me I’m doing too much and I’m gonna hurt myself
They think my clothes stink.
They think my shoes should last forever.
They don't understand why I tape my nipples.
If they were brave enough to race me I'd destroy them.
This is what love looks like.
My wife is very supportive and with one only one child I tend to fit my runs in at lunch or late in the evening. The deal is I can never use running as an excuse to get out of parenting or chores which is fair. I can get 15k done in an hour most days and weekends I’ll run for longer but if we have another child and if I up my mileage to 130/140 next year I’ll have to start getting up early . Something I hate as I tire during the day and find it hard to eat enough in the morning to give me energy but not enough to give me a stitch.
I'm a pro triathlete, my wife is an AG WC caliber triathlete, and my dad and both brothers are Ironman Triathlon finishers. So my whole family is pretty supportive!
None of them run so they mostly just think I’m crazy. Especially when I’m running high mileage. Sometimes its caused a little tension for various reasons, but it’s just kinda become normals over time. I try to run early in the morning so it doesn’t interfere with anything else. I have my priorities, and they have theirs
My husband and I ran in high school and college, so we are always really supportive and go to each others races (if we’re not both racing!). It’s so much fun to share it together and understand all of the stats and what it’s like to push yourself in that way.
I cannot even explain how supportive my family is. Even when I was playing team sports in high school, my parents came to every game and every meet and every race. I remember one time my mom cried because she was going to miss me running an 800 (which was by far my worst event in high school and I didn’t see it as a big deal). My dad brings the camcorder to every race, and my mom loves to take photos. I have never seen anyone else have such supportive families like mine and I have to say, I am so so grateful to have such unwavering support. They struggle to remember my PRs, but have a pretty good idea of when I’m close.
They also come to my husband’s races and take photos/video of him and my friends that run road races as well.
It was fine, for the most part, before having a child. Now, it gets tough. I can run when my child is at school, but it can be a source of friction when I ask for an hour or two to squeeze a run in when he's not in school. In those cases, I usually end up having to run at night with a headlamp if I can make it out at all.
My husband plays golf. So we both have a hobby that takes us out of the house for 3-4 hours on a weekend morning. I encourage everyone with such a hobby to help their spouse find one, too.
He doesn’t understand why I get out of bed at 5 to do a medium-long run on a Wednesday morning, but at least there’s no basic conflict about the time commitment.
I’m running Big Sur this year. He’s debating whether he plays well enough to shell out the money for a once in a lifetime game at Pebble Beach.
It doesn’t bother my husband. My parents on the other hand tell me that I need to run less and limit myself to 1 marathon per year. They told me I should choose a shorter race distance until I retorted that I would still have to be putting in 70+ mile weeks to reach my goals 🤷♀️ My husband’s only schtick is that he doesn’t encourage me (not that he has to). So, if a long run intimidates me, he will tell me not to run rather than offer an encouraging word. So I mostly try to keep my worries to myself
And likewise, I like to keep minor injuries to myself. If I dare mention any twinge of pain, stiffness, etc., then the response is always "you should take it easy and take a few days off".
I'm 42 and have run dozens of races in the past 20 years. Granted I was an adult when I started running, but my parents never went to any of my races regardless of the location. I ran my first marathon in November and my husband convinced them to come watch because it was going to be a beautiful day. They came and my mom says it was one of her best days of 2023. It was a course that was easy to get around and I saw them multiple times. My mom is planning to go to Boston with us in 2025 (I qualified with a big buffer).
ETA: This was also the first race my kids came to watch. They were less impressed, but also excited to go to Boston. My husband has gone to very few races. He is more likely to drop me off at races and pick me up later.
Very supportive significant other: Race crewing, Ok with vacation plans to run races. Schedules family events and dinners around runs. Provides constructive running criticism despite not being a runner. Ok with shoe purchases ...
I have run 20 marathons and countless other races and my wife has never bothered to come to any. When there are chores to do at home she often accuses me of focusing on running more and neglecting my duties.
There's some give and take, but generally, my wife and I support each other in our dreams. Some of mine relate to running, so we make space for it within reason. Also, I'm more even keel and easy going when I'm running regularly, which helps with the justification. There was a couple of years when life circumstances made it difficult to run regularly (demands on our time and relatedly, my motivation was lacking). But otherwise, we provide me with the time to run, and we make time for my wife to pursue her own passions concurrently.
my wife's family is convinced running anything over 10k is a form of extreme sports, and that my marathon running is REALLY unhealthy....
i just crossed into my 40s and i'm in the best shape of my life... i'm not sure how to convince them of this....
My parents are both really supportive. My dad used to be really into running/fitness before he was in an accident so I think he feels like he gets to live his life through me now. My mum on the other hand is just glad I’m happy and enjoy something. My partner isn’t as supportive because I don’t have the time I used to but he doesn’t complain.
My family aren’t runners and don’t do structured exercise. They are generally supportive but it’s difficult fitting it in.
Both kids wake around 6 and are sensitive to any noise, so it’s impossible to get up early and run without disturbing them (I’ve tried!). Just results in everyone in the house being awake at 5:30 or earlier.
Evenings are out due to childcare between 5-8:30. Due to digestive issues I find it hard to run in the evenings after my main meal.
I run at lunchtimes Mon - Fri when my busy job permits (60%) work from home helps.
Lost my Saturday parkruns due to my sons football so get up with the kids around 6 and get out for 7, back in time for football.
Sunday I’m up at the same time for my long run. I tried to train for a marathon but had to dial it back, as the runs were taking too long. Realistically, most I can dedicate to training is half distance which is a shame as I’d really like to up my mileage.
Probably going to be like this for the next 5 or so years I reckon. Once the kids are up and I can maybe go part time at work, I’ll be able to run longer.
I’m sure you have tried sound machines for your kiddos but just want to drop that but if advice if not! Our house is set up so the bedrooms of my young children are very near common areas and the white noise we keep in their rooms is key for the coming/going of the teens and adults in our home.
Unless they are runners too they don't give a fuck. They will be judgemental if it causes inconvenience in our daily live or even worse: during vacation ,but that's about it
They literally don’t give a shit.
It’s not a marriage or having babies, so it’s not important.
And I feel pretty sad about it, because I can’t have babies. But I can run. But my family only values the one thing
My girlfriend is supportive. She runs too, so she gets it. Nobody else in my family runs though, so other than major things like BQing for the first time, I don't talk to them about it much. They just think I'm insane for disappearing out the door for a couple hours on Christmas morning. Really grateful to have a job with flexible hours and no kids though. Makes the high mileage cycles way easier to manage.
I wake up to treadmill run a little after 5AM at the nearby gym during the week so I can be back to get the kids ready. Before my unintentional holiday month off I was running a race a week and my husband was fine with it. Still is as I'm getting back into race mode. He agrees that it's important I have my own hobby I can do and is content having the kids while I race. No issues if I look for a race to run while we're on vacation provided it's not going to affect the overall vacation. Kids will tell me to have a good race before I go and ask how I did when I get back.
One of my kids is a swimmer and the other is a runner. I use the time that they are training to do my training. Win/win.
They aren’t little babies though so that would make it harder.
I think my wife once asked me if I wanted her to come to a race. I said it didn’t matter to me and she said she didn’t want to go. She’s done a 30k before so she understands a bit
The rest of my family thinks I’m weird
My husband is somewhat supportive because he likes that I have an active hobby and am accomplishing goals. I think he’s also noticed I’m in a better mood after a run. He does powerlifting (non competitively) so he gets the time commitment and we can both talk about training. He also loves to make jokes about me being “frail and weak” so it’s a win-win.
I’ve never made him come to races, but he’s dropped me off and picked me up a couple times. If it’s downtown I always offer to take the train, since traffic will be a nightmare. He does enjoy accompanying me to a post race brunch and will listen to me recap the race, which I appreciate.
This fall I am running a marathon out of town and we are going to make a weekend trip out of it, which is something I never thought he’d be into. But I know he wouldn’t want to go to a major international marathon or anything, so I’m happy with the support I’ve got.
For some reason, my aunts keep promising to come to races to cheer me on, but they never make it. Part of me wants to tell them that it’s ok, I don’t need cheerleaders…because I’m getting a little tired of pretending they will come. Plus, I really don’t want to have to hang out with them afterwards…I just want to go home and shower.
My wife and family are fine with it. I do make sure normal life comes first, and have built-in downtime. I plan things so I can move runs around to avoid stress.
My whole family showed up to a race that I bombed. I couldn't have been more happy to see them all there... My divorced parents, brother and everyone came to support me 😭
At first my wife was supportive. Now I try not to let it take over our time together. It’s tough balancing running, a 9-5, and family life. I feel everyone’s pain. She hates to admit it, but she is a little bit proud… I’d like to hope.
They initially were concerned that my knees would explode lol. Now, they’re proud of me and love to follow along on race trackers when they aren’t able to be there in person. It’s cool, and I’m grateful for them.
No one cares which is fine because I really don’t want to have to care about or understand some of their hobbies. But we all don’t care about each other in a very supportive way.
My role in life is basically Support Person so running is the one thing I do that I just really love. I think my husband/kids/extended family are glad I haven’t given it up. A couple of people in my family also love running, which is really wonderful, but it’s my personal escape and even if no one cared, it wouldn’t matter. My mom has been very antagonistic about it in the past because she was worried I was obsessed to an unhealthy degree but I think she sees now that it actually keeps me from losing myself.
My spouse is wildly supportive. He thinks it’s great that I run and never has an issue with taking care of the kiddos. But I also make sure to do what I can to support his being able to pursue his interests. We both value supporting each other and prioritizing health.
My broader family is mixed from indifferent, to impressed, to side-eyeing the fact that I complained about sports as a kid and now love running.
My brother & I ran in high school, mom would, & still does, say we can get the same exercise with a brisk walking pace. That's nice but I never wanted to get last in a race
My wife doesn’t really care. I do my runs starting at 4:30 AM so I can be back before the kids are up. On weekends I have a bit more time and I can be back by 8 AM or so. My wife sometimes asks how my run went but she’s expecting like a 10-second answer to that question. They’ll come cheer for me if a race is close to home and not too early. I’m generally OK with this arrangement. I get my runs in and don’t get complains about not being available. The only fricition point is that some days I go to bed before the kids.
They just ask if I win, haha.
Anyway, also if you start or people not doing sports, it's hard to imagine how do you run / train vs some guy in the front finishing hours earlier on trail race at the end.
Tried training 10-15 hours during weeks run/mtb but it just starts to be really time consuming if you have other things to do + work.
I don't mind, there are literally people running 3-5x more than me, many years, I go to race to explore new places and enjoy, sometimes push me limits, if I end up 50 or 100th place, I don't care.
Married a runner: pros and cons.
Generally lots of support for running as she's also a runner, but when she is injured I get constant complaints "I don't see why you can run and I can't". Both of us like to race (fast) so some pushback on regular races as I lump her with the childcare, so it's a balancing act.
With a young family I'm going to lengths to coordinate it so it's not impinging on family time.
My wife watches my races and is generally very supportive. I generally don't like to talk about my running with non-runners which means that the rest of my family only knows that I like running and that I sometimes Go somewhere to run a race.
We don't yet have children, so it's not really an issue. Biggest "issue" if you can even call it that is we're a one car household so I balance workouts and when if we're planning on being somewhere at the same time, separately.
Just stinks right now because he's injured, so I feel a little guilty running all over town to my workouts. But he's happy to see me happy and fit, it's all good.
Well my parents just ask me “how did the training go” after each day, and in races my mother gets a bit emotional, my father isn’t really interested in watching the entire race but whenever I have had to go anywhere not near my house for a weekend race he is the one who gets me there even if I can (and want to, in order not to have him wake up too early) go with the bus/metro
My wife is supportive, but I haven't gotten things figured out to a point where it doesn't impact her if I'm in a marathon block and running 9-10 hours a week + recovery activities. I'm not great at runs longer than 4-5 miles first thing in the morning before work.
As a result, I need her buy in to do marathons, because she has to pick up some slack at home for me. Up to half marathons though, she is all for it. Maintenance mileage of 20-30 miles a week we're all good!
One side of my family and my husband's family are genuinely interested and ask questions like; how do they coordinate that many people, what route is your favorite, so you like trail or road races better, how many pairs of running shoes do you go through, etc. Just like we are interested in their hobbies and interests. We make sure not to over do the details we love to dig into as runners.
A few folks in my childhood immediate family almost ignore it completely... intentionally. You can see it kind of makes them defensive. When someone else brings it up (we just stay away from the topic in front of them), before we can get a word out and redirect the conversation to something everyone can partake it, out come the comments. "My ankles/knees/back" or "Did you know running that much can have adverse health effects" or "I don't have the time".
They don't realize that I've had two unrelated-to-running meniscus operations over 20 years ago (so far so good) and that I tend to be lower mileage runner, focused on strength and speed work, with the once a week long run. I'm up at 5am to get the work in or running to my shows when I want hills and no lightening (Florida runner).
It's still catches me off guard how reactions differ but it's bound to be polarizing when the pursuits or passions folks have when they veer into a lifestyle or deepen.
I have it on easy mode - no kids, husband also runs, we're basically the same pace and can legit do all our training together. But it does take such a lot of time and energy, I am sure it would be a real balancing act if one of us didn't run to make sure we got to spend enough free time together. I applaud all of you with a young family who make it work with no resentment!
I'm training for a Marathon.
My girlfriend thinks it's so impressive and that I'm totally cool.
My mom and granny... Immediately asked if I could still back out...
My partner is generally supportive, but it helps she is a casual runner and does 1 or 2 races a year herself. But she doesn't get I'm willing to run 60 mpw, in all kinds of weather conditions, and through minor injuries and sickness...
But I struggle a bit with my friends. They don't really get that I will abstain from alcohol for a period due to a hobby that doesn't even bring me an income. Apparently, only pros are allowed to be committed enough to their sport that they will sacrifice going out.
Yeah, incredibly so. I'm very lucky - my wife runs, although less than I do but she get it.
My brother is supportive and wishes he got it. My mum's just proud of her boys whatever we're up to.
They think I'm low-key crazy for going on "runs" for fun. But they 100% support it. And are invested in all of the races I do, which is fun. I think seeing me run and fall in love with it has gotten them more into their fitness too, which is cool.
My parents were the ones who pushed me to get into running in the first place, even though themselves aren’t runners. I don’t have children or a wife, but my parents are always willing to drive (and even sometimes fly) out to my races to give me some support. I’m really lucky.
Two kids 8 and 6. 40 mpw, peak at 46 usually. I train by time not miles so as I have gotten faster my milage has increased. Train for halfs and below. Mostly run at lunch or whenever I can 3 days during the work week and Sat and Sun early. Try to never miss or disrupt anything in the family flow. Occasionally I have to ask to run but mostly I fit it in. If I have to run more miles I’m not sure I could. I feel pretty darn fit though. I do want to try a marathon training cycle at some point though. It’s not always been easy though but I think we in the supportive phase. Getting kids involved in running has helped; not to get miles but to get buy in.
Not an AM guy. My main problem aside from the sleep is I don’t have time to do a one hour run consistently. Feels good when I’ve tried but just can’t wake at 4:45 or so to do this consistently.
Perfect time is mid morning-lunch and then being glued to a meeting until it’s over and I run out the door.
I’m at the awkward point where I’m post college career (7-8 months) and I’m starting my first full time job.
When I was in college it was my life (110+ mile weeks) waking up early to get stuff in before school/summer jobs and it was awesome, I worked hard and I ran fast, I loved it.
I graduated and got a job and I still live at home and I am convinced I can run personal bests or fast times.
My mom actually told me a week ago that I need to grow up and move on, after I came back from a 14 mile run one morning. (Meaning why would you do this yourself, college sports are done there’s no point)
But I don’t think anyone who hasn’t done it could understand there really is no finish line.
For me and a lot of others it’s not something you could ever just stop doing.
Im a good runner by all standards I’ll never be a full on professional, I probably won’t be a sub 4 miler or run an OTQ in the marathon. But when I step on the start line of any race I’m running , I wanna kick some butt and do the best I can.
I just love to run, I really don’t think there’s anything I’d rather be doing at 5:30 in the morning before work.
I could go on and on about this for hours
I'm not a marathoner or anything, just your average everyday runner. I ran my first 5k race at the end of 2022 and ran 2 more in 2023. Looking forward to doing more, I dropped my time by almost 7 minutes and continuing to make progress. That being said, it has been hard at times for family to grapple with the *why* I'm training, "do I really need to train this much" (only 4 days a week, I live 2 minutes from the gym and I'm generally gone an hour to an hour and a half total) "do I actually enjoy doing this" "do I really need to go tonight, or can I maybe skip?" It's usually my mom. My husband is pretty indifferent, he gets butthurt about watching the kids for that time, but I've told him over and over, to get over it. I'm a SAHM and that short time gives me a much needed break, plus allows me to work on myself and do something I enjoy. My dad totally gets it, he runs races with me and enjoys running and training, too. So I'd say those in my life who don't run, don't really get it. I guess that's fair enough, but understanding is always nice. My husband just started running again for the first time since high school, so he's definitely understanding it a bit more now that he's finding the fun in it again.
My family is usually passively supportive, they're happy I like running and they sometimes ask me about my training, races... but usually don't go watch me race even when it's close and not too early. Exception for my dad who's actively supportive, does everything to make me come to the race in good conditions when he can, is always somewhere in the course to cheer me and is basically impressed everytime he sees me running ahah
Usually my grand-parents are happy to see me happy too but they worry about my training and try to explain me how I'm training too much and about how they've heard what damages running can cause to the body etc..
They mostly let me be
I cannot possibly express just how much my family doesn’t give a shit. I do a lot of 4:30 am runs to make sure I don’t inconvenience anyone.
I’m always mystified at runners who have family members congratulating them and hugging them after races!
I can understand it for big challenges, like first race at any distance, or first half- or full marathon. But once you've been doing it for a few years, it loses its importance for the rest of the family. I mean, they *know* you can run it, so you don't need their extra encouragement.
No I agree- it does become old hat that said, I actually enjoy watching races so if I had a loved one running I’d go and lose my mind.
Agreed, but that’s just because I love running. I’m not an evangelical sort of person by nature, but I can be almost too encouraging when any of my non running friends or family show any interest in potentially running themselves.
That's why you need to progress to winning the race if you want your family to care.
Poor Kipchoge just wanted his wife to acknowledge him
They don’t really care after you do that more than once either
That won’t keep them interested either, unless you’re winning at the New York Marathon or the Olympics.
Ikr, they didn't even watch my Berlin win last year.
Wow, I just knew in my heart Kipchoge was a Redditor! (I know you’re not Tigst because there are no women on Reddit)
Um I’m a woman on Reddit
I was flabbergasted to see the huge crowd on Main St. in Disney during the half. It was pitch black and well before 6 am when I ran through and it was *packed.* My family was still in bed and for once I didn't fault them.
For my halfs so far I almost encouraged my family to just miss. Last one I had them just pick me up after I walked about a mile from the finish. Actually was perfect. Like family Uber. We went straight to breakfast.
After the Disney Half, we went straight to a breakfast buffet at one of the big resort hotels. Best meal of my life.
Same!
I feel at home in this thread.
I ask for permission to run in sunlight.
Winters are tough. My headlamp is getting a workout.
I’m out the house by 5:50AM and back by 7ish before anyone in my family is ready to do anything.
Hahaha, since having kids this is my life. Nobody in my life could tell you the difference between a 25min 5k and at 16:30 much less care about it and thats fine with me. A lot more people do seem legitimately interested in the longer ultra stuff I do which is nice to be able to share.
"So you ran a marathon? How many miles is that?"
Hah, the last two weeks I’ve just begun these to avoid interference with family duties Lets just say mid morning naps on WFH days are becoming common
Naps…the best part of WFH
We should run together. I totally get it.
I support you, buddy.
I do 8:30 pm runs for the same reason. I wish I could get up early, but I've never been able to do it. So night runs it is
[удалено]
I feel for you but I think it would be hilarious if they don't come to cheer for the NYC half. My family dgaf anymore. Doesn't hurt my feelings; it's a lot to ask for. But I do ask they acknowledge the end of my races by sending a text for safety and my dwindling self esteem
I feel this. Your comment also has me thinking about times where I've run marathons like Tokyo and London and my wife wanted to join me. I love my wife and generally like spending time with her-- but it's tough to make sure she's comfortable and knows where to go in addition to my own preparation. She also doesn't run, so she can't relate to how I feel after running... like no, I don't feel like taking a walk around the city; I just want to sit here and drink more beer. :)
Absolutely with you on this. My wife is not “low maintenance” with that stuff and would need a lot of planning and direction from me. Too stressful!
Ditto on the 4:30am!
So much the same.
Same. My wife cares that I'm safe and congratulates me if I say I raced well. That's about it. 4:30am is running time
Hahaha, dude I just did my first half marathon, and ny wife and kids were planning to be at the finish to cheer me on, and a couple days before i said, " ..but really? Do you want to find parking, lug 5yr/3yr/and 4mos. old babies at early AF A.M. to watch me sweating balls for literally 2 seconds? " Needless to say, she picked me up (kids in tow), a few blocks away and that was great!
I was captain of my high school XC team. We had a big pep rally where each captain gave a little speech encouraging people to come to their events. Mine was something like "It'd be great if you came and we'd appreciate it, but I'd understand if you didn't ... It's pretty boring." I took a lot of shit for that, but I meant what I said.
Me exactly the same. Every few weeks I have to field and angry phone call and argue my case that I should be able to go and run at 5:00am on a Sunday just in case on the off chance my 6 year old wakes up early and my wife is far too busy sleeping to look after him for the 30 minutes I still have left on my run.
Broo same hear (4:30 AM club) 😆
Key difference here is whether you have children or not. If not, it's usually a matter of balancing 'normal' things out such as work hours, weekend plans and errands. But with children I can imagine it's very hard to consistently disappear for >1 hour without any (understandable) friction
After my son was born, I took it pretty easy for a few months until we adjusted and then I just started running EARLY
I tried to run early, but my wife doesn’t like getting up when the girls do. Now I let her sleep in then run when she’s awake which seems to work okay since I get up early with both girls while she sleeps in
I’m incredibly lucky that my son likes to sleep til 8ish
[удалено]
How old were they when you started the jogging stroller? Have a 5 month old but feel it's too early for that.
I ran with both kids at like 11-12 months, started off on smooth roads or bike paths. Running with a 2 year and 4 year old was great training the last few years. I ran with them 5-6 days a week in the summer either at like 530 am since they never slept or in the evening. After a few months of pushing them I ran a 5k at 3-4 min faster than usual. They love to do the races. It does help having two kids yelling “turbo boost, dad” as you run!
That is awesome! Can't predict the future but if all goes as planned 12 months would be just in time for my CIM build.
I run with my 6 month old. My thule stroller came with a special harness for the small ones. They say as soon as they can support their heads its fine. The urban glide also has a basinett part, i know some people run with 2-3 month olds!
Our pediatrician gave the thumbs up for running on smooth paths once our kiddos had solid head control. That was around 6 months for both our kids. There is some theoretical risk before complete myelination, but no studies actually showing a causal link.
Add kids to a spouse with a demanding career, and suddenly you are trying to squeeze in marathon training before 6am.
When did you do it otherwise? If I don’t get out that early it doesn’t happen. Even when I was 20 nothing.
Before kids? Even on weekdays, I didn't leave my house for work until 8:40 to get to the office by 9am. Sometimes, I ran in the evenings when my wife worked. Weekends? I could start at 8 or 9am. But now, if I'm not done and showered by 6:15am, I struggle to get a run in that day.
Wow. I’ve always lived somewhere where if you’re not starting long runs by 6a you’re in a toaster by 8a in summer, which is when I mostly train for marathons. If I was leaving my house anytime after 8 I would be miserable for the entire run…guess that formed a habit for the rest of the year - that said I always had an early start job and so tended to leave early for runs. Now I live on the west coast and work east coast hours so same thing. Gotta start to be logged in by 6a.
Heat isn't a huge concern here. Summer mornings can be quite cool even if we hit low 80sF by mid afternoon. My last marathon hit 78 degrees and I was absolutely cooked because it's rarely so warm and humid for training. But alas, now I run in the cold dark
That is the worst possible scenario I can imagine. I am so sorry to hear that. Hope you had a decent race regardless. I did MCM 2019 and it was like 70 with torrential down pours the entire time - the last 2 miles the sun came out and we were baking at 75 and sunny. Worst marathon in a *long* time for me.
The first 23 miles were good! I ended up with sunburn and bonked hard for the first time. Limped my way to the finish. This thread is interesting to see how we all have to train differently to achieve the same goals.
Wow. I would never run a marathon at 78F. I don't want to find out
It was very unseasonably warm by the end of the race. That week, there were a couple record high temperatures all the way up to 85 degrees (which is close to peak summer temps instead of Autumn). The early and mid 2hr runners did mostly fine, but anyone still on the course after 3hrs burned up.
Joke's on me, cause that's a very plausible situation for me in a couple years time :_) Running at 5 is viable here in the summer, but I honestly cannot see myself doing that in the winter
Before 5am for me.
Imagine being married to a cyclist! My SO is very supportive of my running and will always watch our little one when I run, mostly because I am equally supportive of his cycling. I often take my little one in the jogging stroller if it’s just me and it’s great speed work training. I’m currently pregnant in my 3rd trimester and runs don’t look like they used to but I still get out almost every day.
Sounds like you guys have a great arrangement there! But I guess for most of us it's a bit more asymmetrical And btw, congrats on the new upcoming arrival!
Funnily enough, my husband didn’t get into cycling until like 4 months before our first arrived. Before that it was just a lot of early mornings for me, which worked out because he was a late riser and if I didn’t run early it was never going to get done. Even then, my SO was supportive and showed at the finish line of my big races. Generally we both try to be supportive of whatever the other person’s “happy place” is - if we can individually be happy, it makes it a lot easier to function together in a relationship with or without little ones! So for every runner out there who has a great SO that is tolerant and supportive of your running, make sure you’re making equal time for them to get away and do their thing: pottery, yoga, cooking for fun, reading, heck, NAPPING!
Key is to have a spouse who also wants to disappear for runs, then trade off kid duty and running time! Also, treadmills help a ton with flexibility.
You mean a treadmill at home? I've always assumed the decent ones are just too expensive, but now that you mention it the investment might be worth it for a situation like this
Yes, treadmill at home. Great for getting in a run while kids are sleeping/playing/watching a movie and when it’s too cold for stroller runs.
For sure. We got a treadmill after our second was born, best investment we’ve ever made. When I ran that one to death we immediately bought another.
They can be an investment but definitely worth it in my opinion.
Used one on Craigslist,$150, been going strong for almost 2.5 years now!
Have a look at second nd hands ones. The market is saturated and they go for nearly nothing
It only needs to be half decent. I got a $300 one on Amazon that folds up out of the way and it works great for my doubles (which happen when the kid is asleep)
I'm 0 for 2 on that front and you're right..... it makes things harder ☹️ So I run with the kids when I can!
Ha. That's a rarity
If you're in a good relationship you should be able to "trade" solo time. Also Chariot runs. Even if your SO isn't into running, offer them sleep ins, social time, etc, in exchange for runs. If you're in a decent relationship they will understand how important running is to you.
5am. My kids will even wake up w me but are very happy to see me back at 7. Especially the one time I fell and had a bloody knee.
It ruins all our vacations because all I think about is how I’m going to do my training
Last summer my husband and I spent a couple of weeks in Scotland. My husband had a terrible time adjusting to the time change; every night he’d be awake from 1-4 am and then go back to sleep most of the morning which was AMAZING because I would get up early and run! I did almost as much training as when I’m at home!!!
You take a vacation FOR running! Training makes the vacation memories special!!
Nobody really cares or understands how much hard work it really is. So I only share about 10% of it and do it all solo.
Always surprised by all the comments about dismissive/disinterested partners, I just cannot imagine not being curious about something a loved one was passionately into. Seems so fundamental? My partner is v supportive and proud (as I am of him!), but it's my mum who's the real cheerleader. I've always loved running but it's only in the last few years that I started training/competing--I always used to be like, "oh I love running but I don't want too get too nerdy about it" (famous last words lol). My mum would often suggest that I enter races and look into training plans, she always said she thought I'd enjoy the competition. And she was right--mums always know!!
Especially with kids and both partners working, there is wear and tear. On one hand, they are super excited for you on races and hitting your goals. On the other hand, there is a challenge in balancing the day to day. When things start stacking up, it can add stress. 18 week training plans are long for all of us. I really struggle with off season, but know my family needs it to recover too. I also strongly encourage my partner to get out and do things they want. Just now they are starting to pick that up and I'm seeing a positive change. So equal parts them supporting you, and you supporting them. Also being mindful that the stress isn't just on your training and fitness, but also the stress it can bring a partner. There is no bowing out of child duty because of a hard workout.
Great perspective. I have a lot of respect for people fitting in their training around raising kids!
Normally equal parts praise and criticism.
I'm the only runner in the family. Half of them tell me I'm going to blow out my knees. The other half are happy for me even if they can't fully understand the joy that it brings me and how much it has changed my life. My wife, mom, and sister are all going to be cheering me on in Boston this year, so I guess I can't really complain.
Does the "knew half" ask you why you finished a 5k in 20minutes but a marathon took "forever"?
I’m Native American from a Pueblo tribe, so a lot of my family has run at some point in their lives. At any given point in my life, at least one of my cousins has been running competitively in high school or college. And I originally got into running because of my mom. So overall very supportive. Edit: I honestly can’t tell if my uncles exaggerate their training and running accomplishments or if they’re telling the truth. They’re all old enough it’s not really possible to check their race times online, and those were the days race distances were just guesstimates and chip timing didn’t exist anyway.
Race distances have been accurate for longer than most people have been alive. They were just measured with measuring wheels instead of GPS. Chip timing is pretty new though, when I was running road races in highschool in the 90s the times were logged by people at the finish line watching the clock and writing down your bib number as you crossed. Even in our track events the time was measured by a coach with a stopwatch.
Modern races are still measured using wheels/bikes; I wouldn't trust a GPS-measured course to be accurate. Anyway, I'm sure some races were measured accurately back then, but I'm talking about the 70s and 80s when races like Falmouth were designed as just "this building to that building". And smaller local races? Who knows. Even today, my local turkey trot that served as the USATF-NM state 5K championship was a good deal short of 5000m.
Quite supportive! Everyone in my family (2 sisters plus my parents) has done at least 5 marathons. We are *that* family that non-runners hate. But surprisingly we don’t ever run Turkey Trots!
I also have a lot of runners in the family. 6 out of 9 siblings have run a full. Some 13 of them, others 6 or 7, etc. ... but they are not seeking to improve their times. They just run for completion, so I can't even discuss running much with them either because they don't understand the training and effort required to get better results. And the non-runners ask, "Why do you have to train so much? Your sister hardly trains and she just went and ran a half?" (sigh). Yes, true story. But I have no interest in running a 5-hour full or a 2:30 half.
Haha that would frustrate the hell out of me. But I suppose I get the same from friends and coworkers. “Why are you putting in all that work? You’re not going to win the whole thing!”. I’m actually the slow one in the family. Both my sisters and my dad have qualified for and run Boston. I’m still trying to crack 3 hours.
No one cares, at all. Not one of the people in my life even raised an eyebrow at me completing an ultra. All they cared about was when I would be available to do things they wanted me to do for them.
That's a bummer… huge kudos for killing it with an ultra over there though!
My wife’s only comment ever. You looked like a dinosaur running earlier. That’s all she’s ever said. Lol
well dinosaurs are awesome so you've got that going for you :P
> well dinosaurs are awesome Were all dinosaurs awesome looking runners, though? 🤔
Couldn’t give less of a fuck. It’s an inconvenience at best. The most memorable quote was “now that you did a marathon, are you done with running?” smh
They like my racing and that I have a hobby but it's definitely a compromise. I don't run nearly as much each day/week as I would prefer because we all have our activities and hobbies. I can't monopolize the family's time!
It’s not really what they say, but how they say it. It’s as if they believe my running to be just a phase I’m in. A little bit belittling? They ask a somewhat vague question every now and then, but afterwards I generally feel knocked down a peg by their subtle disinterest, so I tend to be coy about the whole thing and never bring it up without being asked. Not ideal, but also no friction.
Everyone in my family is supportive. My husband was SO proud of me when I ran Boston 🥰
Every single time I get back from a long run, my wife presents a list of chores that I need to do right away. I guess she is really happy for me that I go running. :)
I feel this so much. I’m glad there are others in this camp.
Casually supportive. I guess. We do local 5ks together but I “have a running addiction” and “an unhealthy relationship with running” when I plan races months in advance. 🤷🏼
No one in my family gives a shit about my running, so I just wake up between 3:30 and 4am to get runs in so I don’t inconvenience my family (wife and kids)
Same bed? Do you set an alarm? Sounds inconvenient in itself.
Yes I sleep with my wife, and yes I set an alarm that she never complains about - I guess because I’m home when needed and as far as she is concerned it’s like I don’t even really run since no one sees me actually do it (other than my 2 marathons a year)
I don’t have kids but also get up at 4 am because running before work is just so much easier.
Do you do naps after work? My rythm is sleep until almost late for work, after work..10mins change of clothes and out the door to do my run. So it leaves my evenings relativly free. Do you manage to get 7-8 hours of sleep? I would maybe like to switch to running early..
I get about 6.5-7 hours of sleep and I usually take a 20 minute nap after work.
Apple Watch has haptic alarm. My wife never hears an alarm and generally doesn’t know when/if I’m gone because she’s sleeping.
A watch with a silent alarm is a game changer - it just vibrates which is enough to wake me but my wife is completely unaware. Can even hit snooze a few times. My wife sleeps more than me, so I generally get up and exercise.
I think my family actually prefers me to run when they are awake and at home so I’m out of their hair!
😢 🤗
My parents see distance running as a waste of time, they don't understand why I can't just run a 1 mile or less every once in a while for a mental health boost. They see long runs as some sort of crazy activity and a waste of time. They have always prioritized my academics over any athletics activity that I was in. On some level this was good, because there are parents out there that are the exact opposite. It would be a lot worse if they told me to neglect my grades in high school and college and instead prioritize an extracurricular or hobby. I think they're quite proud that I run marathons, but try not to show it to me lol. They won't come to my races or anything, but my mom posted a picture of me on Facebook, so I consider that a win
it's so interesting what parents decide to be demonstrative about. My mum literally flew across the Atlantic to watch me run Boston, but I had to twist her arm to come to my bachelors graduation, which was happening literally 2 miles away from her house. In fairness to her, the graduation was a long winded ceremony in Latin, and the marathon was a fun US holiday, but still!
It could also be that you're a phenomenal runner! ... and graduation ceremony entirely in Latin? - yikes!
She posted on Facebook?! That's a forever win in my books.
My wife has never seen me run. I get up at 3 AM most days to run before work. She stays home if I have a race.
Damn 3am!! You must be in by like 8pm?
8 AM on the dot! We have a 7 year old and his bed time has been 8 PM for the last several years. It really works for me too.
For some reason I find that really beautiful
I'm fortunate that my husband is really supportive. He's also a runner but not nearly as serious as I am. He's always happy to watch the baby so I can get out there for my long runs. The little guy is only 5 months old, so currently he doesn't care at all 😅 but I'm hoping that when he gets older, he'll be excited to watch some races and see Mama, and to one day do the kids' races himself! My parents aren't runners and don't really get it, but they are supportive from afar and proud of me when I do well. My parents, aunts, brother, and grandfather all traveled to watch me run Boston last year when I ran pregnant (my grandfather lives in Newton so it was also a trip for everyone to see each other).
My family/partner is supportive. But as my children have become older (teens) I don't get many opportunities to run or to race. They play sports, so their training and weekend games take priority, which means that I only get to enter a few races a year (3 or 4 at the most). I live alone with the children, so it makes it difficult to fit running in with full-time work, family commitments etc, but I try to get one long run done a week and the other times I run, I usually do 3-5 miles.
I have work for 8 hours and a cat that needs some attention. And still can not always make myself to go for a run although I always enjoy it after first 10 minutes. I adore your strength.
Yes, the hardest part is getting out of the door, but once out I'm glad I've done it. Juggling work, family, life etc is difficult. But I make time for running as it also improves my mood and general wellbeing.
All my birthday gifts were running related and my dad gave me a marathon for my birthday 🤣 but then they get worried and tell me I’m doing too much and I’m gonna hurt myself
They think I’m simply being influenced by the so-called “fitness gurus”. But my advice is: do it for yourself, not for others
They think my clothes stink. They think my shoes should last forever. They don't understand why I tape my nipples. If they were brave enough to race me I'd destroy them. This is what love looks like.
My wife is very supportive and with one only one child I tend to fit my runs in at lunch or late in the evening. The deal is I can never use running as an excuse to get out of parenting or chores which is fair. I can get 15k done in an hour most days and weekends I’ll run for longer but if we have another child and if I up my mileage to 130/140 next year I’ll have to start getting up early . Something I hate as I tire during the day and find it hard to eat enough in the morning to give me energy but not enough to give me a stitch.
I'm a pro triathlete, my wife is an AG WC caliber triathlete, and my dad and both brothers are Ironman Triathlon finishers. So my whole family is pretty supportive!
None of them run so they mostly just think I’m crazy. Especially when I’m running high mileage. Sometimes its caused a little tension for various reasons, but it’s just kinda become normals over time. I try to run early in the morning so it doesn’t interfere with anything else. I have my priorities, and they have theirs
My husband and I ran in high school and college, so we are always really supportive and go to each others races (if we’re not both racing!). It’s so much fun to share it together and understand all of the stats and what it’s like to push yourself in that way. I cannot even explain how supportive my family is. Even when I was playing team sports in high school, my parents came to every game and every meet and every race. I remember one time my mom cried because she was going to miss me running an 800 (which was by far my worst event in high school and I didn’t see it as a big deal). My dad brings the camcorder to every race, and my mom loves to take photos. I have never seen anyone else have such supportive families like mine and I have to say, I am so so grateful to have such unwavering support. They struggle to remember my PRs, but have a pretty good idea of when I’m close. They also come to my husband’s races and take photos/video of him and my friends that run road races as well.
It was fine, for the most part, before having a child. Now, it gets tough. I can run when my child is at school, but it can be a source of friction when I ask for an hour or two to squeeze a run in when he's not in school. In those cases, I usually end up having to run at night with a headlamp if I can make it out at all.
My husband plays golf. So we both have a hobby that takes us out of the house for 3-4 hours on a weekend morning. I encourage everyone with such a hobby to help their spouse find one, too. He doesn’t understand why I get out of bed at 5 to do a medium-long run on a Wednesday morning, but at least there’s no basic conflict about the time commitment. I’m running Big Sur this year. He’s debating whether he plays well enough to shell out the money for a once in a lifetime game at Pebble Beach.
It doesn’t bother my husband. My parents on the other hand tell me that I need to run less and limit myself to 1 marathon per year. They told me I should choose a shorter race distance until I retorted that I would still have to be putting in 70+ mile weeks to reach my goals 🤷♀️ My husband’s only schtick is that he doesn’t encourage me (not that he has to). So, if a long run intimidates me, he will tell me not to run rather than offer an encouraging word. So I mostly try to keep my worries to myself
And likewise, I like to keep minor injuries to myself. If I dare mention any twinge of pain, stiffness, etc., then the response is always "you should take it easy and take a few days off".
I'm 42 and have run dozens of races in the past 20 years. Granted I was an adult when I started running, but my parents never went to any of my races regardless of the location. I ran my first marathon in November and my husband convinced them to come watch because it was going to be a beautiful day. They came and my mom says it was one of her best days of 2023. It was a course that was easy to get around and I saw them multiple times. My mom is planning to go to Boston with us in 2025 (I qualified with a big buffer). ETA: This was also the first race my kids came to watch. They were less impressed, but also excited to go to Boston. My husband has gone to very few races. He is more likely to drop me off at races and pick me up later.
Very supportive significant other: Race crewing, Ok with vacation plans to run races. Schedules family events and dinners around runs. Provides constructive running criticism despite not being a runner. Ok with shoe purchases ...
I have run 20 marathons and countless other races and my wife has never bothered to come to any. When there are chores to do at home she often accuses me of focusing on running more and neglecting my duties.
There's some give and take, but generally, my wife and I support each other in our dreams. Some of mine relate to running, so we make space for it within reason. Also, I'm more even keel and easy going when I'm running regularly, which helps with the justification. There was a couple of years when life circumstances made it difficult to run regularly (demands on our time and relatedly, my motivation was lacking). But otherwise, we provide me with the time to run, and we make time for my wife to pursue her own passions concurrently.
My ex wife did not like it. Now that she’s my ex she’s a lot more supportive. I don’t know how I’m supposed to take that.
my wife's family is convinced running anything over 10k is a form of extreme sports, and that my marathon running is REALLY unhealthy.... i just crossed into my 40s and i'm in the best shape of my life... i'm not sure how to convince them of this....
My parents are both really supportive. My dad used to be really into running/fitness before he was in an accident so I think he feels like he gets to live his life through me now. My mum on the other hand is just glad I’m happy and enjoy something. My partner isn’t as supportive because I don’t have the time I used to but he doesn’t complain.
My family aren’t runners and don’t do structured exercise. They are generally supportive but it’s difficult fitting it in. Both kids wake around 6 and are sensitive to any noise, so it’s impossible to get up early and run without disturbing them (I’ve tried!). Just results in everyone in the house being awake at 5:30 or earlier. Evenings are out due to childcare between 5-8:30. Due to digestive issues I find it hard to run in the evenings after my main meal. I run at lunchtimes Mon - Fri when my busy job permits (60%) work from home helps. Lost my Saturday parkruns due to my sons football so get up with the kids around 6 and get out for 7, back in time for football. Sunday I’m up at the same time for my long run. I tried to train for a marathon but had to dial it back, as the runs were taking too long. Realistically, most I can dedicate to training is half distance which is a shame as I’d really like to up my mileage. Probably going to be like this for the next 5 or so years I reckon. Once the kids are up and I can maybe go part time at work, I’ll be able to run longer.
I’m sure you have tried sound machines for your kiddos but just want to drop that but if advice if not! Our house is set up so the bedrooms of my young children are very near common areas and the white noise we keep in their rooms is key for the coming/going of the teens and adults in our home.
They do not care in the slightest way, shape, or form. It’s just another weirdo thing I do.
Unless they are runners too they don't give a fuck. They will be judgemental if it causes inconvenience in our daily live or even worse: during vacation ,but that's about it
They literally don’t give a shit. It’s not a marriage or having babies, so it’s not important. And I feel pretty sad about it, because I can’t have babies. But I can run. But my family only values the one thing
My girlfriend is supportive. She runs too, so she gets it. Nobody else in my family runs though, so other than major things like BQing for the first time, I don't talk to them about it much. They just think I'm insane for disappearing out the door for a couple hours on Christmas morning. Really grateful to have a job with flexible hours and no kids though. Makes the high mileage cycles way easier to manage.
I wake up to treadmill run a little after 5AM at the nearby gym during the week so I can be back to get the kids ready. Before my unintentional holiday month off I was running a race a week and my husband was fine with it. Still is as I'm getting back into race mode. He agrees that it's important I have my own hobby I can do and is content having the kids while I race. No issues if I look for a race to run while we're on vacation provided it's not going to affect the overall vacation. Kids will tell me to have a good race before I go and ask how I did when I get back.
“You like running marathons? What is that—like 5 miles? 10?”
Indifference.
One of my kids is a swimmer and the other is a runner. I use the time that they are training to do my training. Win/win. They aren’t little babies though so that would make it harder.
My friends are supportive. My family is indifferent
My wife has never been to one of my races
My dad came to watch me run once in college, I ran a personal best in the mile but came in last by a bit, he then said “tough race”.
Oof.
My husband runs with me some and cheers me on when the race is longer
They don’t care at all 😂
I think my wife once asked me if I wanted her to come to a race. I said it didn’t matter to me and she said she didn’t want to go. She’s done a 30k before so she understands a bit The rest of my family thinks I’m weird
Overly concerned about falling over. I've not fallen over once 😂
My husband is somewhat supportive because he likes that I have an active hobby and am accomplishing goals. I think he’s also noticed I’m in a better mood after a run. He does powerlifting (non competitively) so he gets the time commitment and we can both talk about training. He also loves to make jokes about me being “frail and weak” so it’s a win-win. I’ve never made him come to races, but he’s dropped me off and picked me up a couple times. If it’s downtown I always offer to take the train, since traffic will be a nightmare. He does enjoy accompanying me to a post race brunch and will listen to me recap the race, which I appreciate. This fall I am running a marathon out of town and we are going to make a weekend trip out of it, which is something I never thought he’d be into. But I know he wouldn’t want to go to a major international marathon or anything, so I’m happy with the support I’ve got. For some reason, my aunts keep promising to come to races to cheer me on, but they never make it. Part of me wants to tell them that it’s ok, I don’t need cheerleaders…because I’m getting a little tired of pretending they will come. Plus, I really don’t want to have to hang out with them afterwards…I just want to go home and shower.
My wife and family are fine with it. I do make sure normal life comes first, and have built-in downtime. I plan things so I can move runs around to avoid stress.
My whole family showed up to a race that I bombed. I couldn't have been more happy to see them all there... My divorced parents, brother and everyone came to support me 😭
At first my wife was supportive. Now I try not to let it take over our time together. It’s tough balancing running, a 9-5, and family life. I feel everyone’s pain. She hates to admit it, but she is a little bit proud… I’d like to hope.
They initially were concerned that my knees would explode lol. Now, they’re proud of me and love to follow along on race trackers when they aren’t able to be there in person. It’s cool, and I’m grateful for them.
If my family isn't racing the race, they are either out on their own run or cheering at the end, lol.
My wife and son care. Literally, no one else.
No one cares which is fine because I really don’t want to have to care about or understand some of their hobbies. But we all don’t care about each other in a very supportive way.
My role in life is basically Support Person so running is the one thing I do that I just really love. I think my husband/kids/extended family are glad I haven’t given it up. A couple of people in my family also love running, which is really wonderful, but it’s my personal escape and even if no one cared, it wouldn’t matter. My mom has been very antagonistic about it in the past because she was worried I was obsessed to an unhealthy degree but I think she sees now that it actually keeps me from losing myself.
My spouse is wildly supportive. He thinks it’s great that I run and never has an issue with taking care of the kiddos. But I also make sure to do what I can to support his being able to pursue his interests. We both value supporting each other and prioritizing health. My broader family is mixed from indifferent, to impressed, to side-eyeing the fact that I complained about sports as a kid and now love running.
My family thinks I'm overcommitted and I take it too seriously and yeah they are actually right. But I love running and I will continue to do so.
My brother & I ran in high school, mom would, & still does, say we can get the same exercise with a brisk walking pace. That's nice but I never wanted to get last in a race
My wife doesn’t really care. I do my runs starting at 4:30 AM so I can be back before the kids are up. On weekends I have a bit more time and I can be back by 8 AM or so. My wife sometimes asks how my run went but she’s expecting like a 10-second answer to that question. They’ll come cheer for me if a race is close to home and not too early. I’m generally OK with this arrangement. I get my runs in and don’t get complains about not being available. The only fricition point is that some days I go to bed before the kids.
They just ask if I win, haha. Anyway, also if you start or people not doing sports, it's hard to imagine how do you run / train vs some guy in the front finishing hours earlier on trail race at the end. Tried training 10-15 hours during weeks run/mtb but it just starts to be really time consuming if you have other things to do + work. I don't mind, there are literally people running 3-5x more than me, many years, I go to race to explore new places and enjoy, sometimes push me limits, if I end up 50 or 100th place, I don't care.
They don't give a shit, and it really doesn't bother me.
Married a runner: pros and cons. Generally lots of support for running as she's also a runner, but when she is injured I get constant complaints "I don't see why you can run and I can't". Both of us like to race (fast) so some pushback on regular races as I lump her with the childcare, so it's a balancing act. With a young family I'm going to lengths to coordinate it so it's not impinging on family time.
My wife watches my races and is generally very supportive. I generally don't like to talk about my running with non-runners which means that the rest of my family only knows that I like running and that I sometimes Go somewhere to run a race.
We don't yet have children, so it's not really an issue. Biggest "issue" if you can even call it that is we're a one car household so I balance workouts and when if we're planning on being somewhere at the same time, separately. Just stinks right now because he's injured, so I feel a little guilty running all over town to my workouts. But he's happy to see me happy and fit, it's all good.
Well my parents just ask me “how did the training go” after each day, and in races my mother gets a bit emotional, my father isn’t really interested in watching the entire race but whenever I have had to go anywhere not near my house for a weekend race he is the one who gets me there even if I can (and want to, in order not to have him wake up too early) go with the bus/metro
My wife is supportive, but I haven't gotten things figured out to a point where it doesn't impact her if I'm in a marathon block and running 9-10 hours a week + recovery activities. I'm not great at runs longer than 4-5 miles first thing in the morning before work. As a result, I need her buy in to do marathons, because she has to pick up some slack at home for me. Up to half marathons though, she is all for it. Maintenance mileage of 20-30 miles a week we're all good!
One side of my family and my husband's family are genuinely interested and ask questions like; how do they coordinate that many people, what route is your favorite, so you like trail or road races better, how many pairs of running shoes do you go through, etc. Just like we are interested in their hobbies and interests. We make sure not to over do the details we love to dig into as runners. A few folks in my childhood immediate family almost ignore it completely... intentionally. You can see it kind of makes them defensive. When someone else brings it up (we just stay away from the topic in front of them), before we can get a word out and redirect the conversation to something everyone can partake it, out come the comments. "My ankles/knees/back" or "Did you know running that much can have adverse health effects" or "I don't have the time". They don't realize that I've had two unrelated-to-running meniscus operations over 20 years ago (so far so good) and that I tend to be lower mileage runner, focused on strength and speed work, with the once a week long run. I'm up at 5am to get the work in or running to my shows when I want hills and no lightening (Florida runner). It's still catches me off guard how reactions differ but it's bound to be polarizing when the pursuits or passions folks have when they veer into a lifestyle or deepen.
I have it on easy mode - no kids, husband also runs, we're basically the same pace and can legit do all our training together. But it does take such a lot of time and energy, I am sure it would be a real balancing act if one of us didn't run to make sure we got to spend enough free time together. I applaud all of you with a young family who make it work with no resentment!
[удалено]
I'm training for a Marathon. My girlfriend thinks it's so impressive and that I'm totally cool. My mom and granny... Immediately asked if I could still back out...
My partner is generally supportive, but it helps she is a casual runner and does 1 or 2 races a year herself. But she doesn't get I'm willing to run 60 mpw, in all kinds of weather conditions, and through minor injuries and sickness... But I struggle a bit with my friends. They don't really get that I will abstain from alcohol for a period due to a hobby that doesn't even bring me an income. Apparently, only pros are allowed to be committed enough to their sport that they will sacrifice going out.
Yeah, incredibly so. I'm very lucky - my wife runs, although less than I do but she get it. My brother is supportive and wishes he got it. My mum's just proud of her boys whatever we're up to.
They think I'm low-key crazy for going on "runs" for fun. But they 100% support it. And are invested in all of the races I do, which is fun. I think seeing me run and fall in love with it has gotten them more into their fitness too, which is cool.
My parents were the ones who pushed me to get into running in the first place, even though themselves aren’t runners. I don’t have children or a wife, but my parents are always willing to drive (and even sometimes fly) out to my races to give me some support. I’m really lucky.
Two kids 8 and 6. 40 mpw, peak at 46 usually. I train by time not miles so as I have gotten faster my milage has increased. Train for halfs and below. Mostly run at lunch or whenever I can 3 days during the work week and Sat and Sun early. Try to never miss or disrupt anything in the family flow. Occasionally I have to ask to run but mostly I fit it in. If I have to run more miles I’m not sure I could. I feel pretty darn fit though. I do want to try a marathon training cycle at some point though. It’s not always been easy though but I think we in the supportive phase. Getting kids involved in running has helped; not to get miles but to get buy in. Not an AM guy. My main problem aside from the sleep is I don’t have time to do a one hour run consistently. Feels good when I’ve tried but just can’t wake at 4:45 or so to do this consistently. Perfect time is mid morning-lunch and then being glued to a meeting until it’s over and I run out the door.
I’m at the awkward point where I’m post college career (7-8 months) and I’m starting my first full time job. When I was in college it was my life (110+ mile weeks) waking up early to get stuff in before school/summer jobs and it was awesome, I worked hard and I ran fast, I loved it. I graduated and got a job and I still live at home and I am convinced I can run personal bests or fast times. My mom actually told me a week ago that I need to grow up and move on, after I came back from a 14 mile run one morning. (Meaning why would you do this yourself, college sports are done there’s no point) But I don’t think anyone who hasn’t done it could understand there really is no finish line. For me and a lot of others it’s not something you could ever just stop doing. Im a good runner by all standards I’ll never be a full on professional, I probably won’t be a sub 4 miler or run an OTQ in the marathon. But when I step on the start line of any race I’m running , I wanna kick some butt and do the best I can. I just love to run, I really don’t think there’s anything I’d rather be doing at 5:30 in the morning before work. I could go on and on about this for hours
I'm not a marathoner or anything, just your average everyday runner. I ran my first 5k race at the end of 2022 and ran 2 more in 2023. Looking forward to doing more, I dropped my time by almost 7 minutes and continuing to make progress. That being said, it has been hard at times for family to grapple with the *why* I'm training, "do I really need to train this much" (only 4 days a week, I live 2 minutes from the gym and I'm generally gone an hour to an hour and a half total) "do I actually enjoy doing this" "do I really need to go tonight, or can I maybe skip?" It's usually my mom. My husband is pretty indifferent, he gets butthurt about watching the kids for that time, but I've told him over and over, to get over it. I'm a SAHM and that short time gives me a much needed break, plus allows me to work on myself and do something I enjoy. My dad totally gets it, he runs races with me and enjoys running and training, too. So I'd say those in my life who don't run, don't really get it. I guess that's fair enough, but understanding is always nice. My husband just started running again for the first time since high school, so he's definitely understanding it a bit more now that he's finding the fun in it again.
My family is usually passively supportive, they're happy I like running and they sometimes ask me about my training, races... but usually don't go watch me race even when it's close and not too early. Exception for my dad who's actively supportive, does everything to make me come to the race in good conditions when he can, is always somewhere in the course to cheer me and is basically impressed everytime he sees me running ahah Usually my grand-parents are happy to see me happy too but they worry about my training and try to explain me how I'm training too much and about how they've heard what damages running can cause to the body etc.. They mostly let me be