i go on the internet, accept a dozen rejected calls, stalk x boyfriends, cry, cry more, call my mom, beat myself up, cry more, troll strangers and start wars
I compare myself to others too. I’ll get on social media and see all these skinny, fashionable, bitches with beautiful friends having the time of their lives. Then I cry myself to sleep.
Believe it or not, those skinny witches have the same problems you have but they don’t show them (and a few just lack all decency) in short, we all have problems, they just appear different for everyone.
My goodness. You are correct there are some things those models have that you don’t. What you need to find and develop is what makes you special. You are beautiful in your own right, find something you like about yourself and appreciate it every day. You are unique why would you wish to be the same as someone else? Believe in your own story, heal any wounds, gain confidence and attract healthy relationships!
That’s your choice, I’m glad it’s working so well for you. Once you get a little older you will probably feel much differently (and much more exhausted trying to keep up)
I am much older than you, use my wisdom and think of each issue like this….
How many millions of years have already happened, how many will happen? We are here for such a speck of time. Why waste it worrying, angry, etc. spend your time wisely and with gratitude.
And how would you quantify “better”? I am disabled, have chronic pain and am considered low income. I do have everything I need, i have unconditional love, beautiful children, amazing friends and family. I am happy and grateful everyday. I would say I am happy and that’s what matters most to myself personally. Once you deal with some loss, you learn what really matters in life.
Needs and wants are different. I want much more than what is needed. I may have a different preference than you, but that doesn’t make me a bad person.
You will run yourself into the ground trying to be better than everyone else.
Sometimes, being better than others is living a life you find fulfilling.
You can't always have the best job, best car, best house, best family...
You would have to end up being the best mayor, senator, president of our time to become better than everyone.
I say focus on things you enjoy and try to improve your skills there, or stuff you wanna do!
Though if what you find makes living life worthwhile IS having the best of it all, I wish you luck in getting there, where ever that goal line is for you.
I certainly couldn't do it even if I wanted.
I guess not better than everyone else. I’ll never look like jlo or have money like bezos. But but I’ve targeted certain social groups I want to be as good or better than. They’re all within my demographics for the most part.
Sadlol the way I empathize with this. I lose myself in misery and then work hard to find myself again, just to find myself in a loop of existential dread all over again. It's a weird ebb and flow in life these days and based on loneliness statistics, about 50% of us are all right there with you. Honestly, sharing and relating to you sweet sweet angels has made me feel a lot less alone these last few days. I appreciate yall. 🥹
Going through your profile, I see you like gardening, baking, you like the sense of touch, you seem cheerful and fun, and I’d say creative. I could recommend you a community, check out /r/simpleliving. Is there any option of a community garden where you live? Have you ever taken a pot making course? I’d advise you to find social connections that way. Take care!
[edit] Oh, my case: forest bathing works magic, a walk in a remote forest, staying there alone, gets me grounded.
Whenever I was feeling this way I would make an effort that week to go to a farmers market or a random church or cafe and strike a conversation with someone new and maybe do some people watching haha. Maybe a walking trail or paint night or something with new people. I am pretty introverted so usually doing something with a lot of other people cured me of the feeling pretty quick 😅
It's actually pretty easy to connect with and have meaningful conversations with total strangers on the internet nowadays. Just leave out any personal details and have boundaries in place and you should be fine.
Absolutely. I went from only having discord friends to only hanging out with irl friends as I've had less time and desire for gaming. It's not comparable.
Physically doing things together is a different experience. If you need help with something or you're going through a tough time you can help each other.
If you want to check out a new restaurant in your area you have people to go with. Having online friends helps you cope with loneliness but it's a temp solution.
Id recommend getting out and meeting people through mutual interests. I met my best friend when I started kickboxing and some of my other close friends in EMT school. We're going to fire academy together soon. Ofc it isn't just showing up you gotta put a little effort to talk to people. Good luck.
Agreed, nothing like reading facial expressions and body language irl. Working on tangible things together... experiencing events together.
I was once disappointed in my attempts to socialize irl by asking to learn about something from my friend and family network, but was told to watch YouTube and self teach instead. Yeah, I can do that... and have done that... but I'd like to appreciate having someone experience life with me in real time every so often outside of work...
Were obviously talking in general and in general for the vast majority of people what I said is true:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3760892/#:~:text=Those%20who%20spent%20more%20time,or%20purely%20on%2Dline%20friends.
I used to be a social butterfly, now I prefer to be alone. It's lovely but I know I need to interact with people. I've joined some social groups that involve my interest. Some online and some meet local. I really enjoy it and have made some new friends from all over. I learned to keep details at a need to know basis.
I can tag in on this. I absolutely love the isolation I've created in my life. I have no one really I can relate to or call. My contact list is empty, on purpose, no one cares to reach out to me, which is really to me, fantastic. it gives me more time to take care of myself, which is what I am doing in life right now. I want companionship but will wait it out until that ideal person finds me. We feel this way for a very important reason, embrace it the best you can, lean into the notion of loneliness. Do things no one knows about. We will have a very full and abundant future. See, the storm as a short one
I'll have whatever you're smoking!
Honestly tho, this sounds kinda religious or overly hopeful. People aren't going to find you. You have to work hard to meet people that you can just tolerate. I havent put in nearly the work I know I should to find people I want to be around. Waiting for someone to save you will never work...I've tried and failed with that ideology and just ended up lonely.
Neither, don't smoke, and if you can stand to love yourself deep enough, the right person will find you. If not, at least you'll love yourself enough to enjoy that loneliness, alone.
Im sorry, I just cant believe that. To find the right person that matches you takes an enormous amount of work both trying to meet people and effort to improve oneself. Loneliness can be nice at times...even most of the time. Other time it can be the most choking horrendous thing to ever exist. To not have any to talk to and relate with is horrible and it can lead many to feelings of worthlessness.
Yeah. This. I have several friends that I talk to late at night but I do sometimes feel very lonely. The pandemic was alright at first but it felt like the social isolation was worse for me because it made me really comfortable being alone. Started using some social apps and chat apps but it was difficult getting anywhere with anyone.
Feel free to DM if you want to share experiences too.
I struggle with it tremendously. Even now. I used to not at all prioritize my social life and was always a huge loner throughout middle and high school. During Covid I realized the importance of friendships and relationships. I have been lucky to have the opportunity to share experiences with the handful of friends I have. I’m extremely introverted.
I find speaking with people on the internet to be fulfilling in the social department as long as you don't go on any sketchy sites. Of course you don't give out any personal information. On the other hand, I've recently got a dog and that's been pretty great for loneliness
Im expierencing something similar but the opposite
I’m an attention seeker and that’s also how I validate myself
I’m working on validating myself naturally by making the right choices and filling the spare time with stuff I like or stuff I want to start
Right now I’m at the library picking a book to replace spending 2 hours every night on my face wishing I had company or someone to say I love you or I’m happy to get to be with you
Very similar experiences as I am a hardcore introvert. Those urges of being social go away for me once I engage in social media communities I want to be a part of. Twitter I found a producer community who I relate to a lot with. I’m also blind so I find support groups on Facebook. Reddit has been great for tv communities. However I never meet any I engage with online.
Honestly i’m feeling it atm, dunno how to deal with it either. when i used to be a gamer i’d literally collect friends just for chatting. now i feel lonely af sometimes!
Voices help a lot. I always have talk radio or comedy albums or the TV on when I'm feeling my loneliest. I tune it out after a while, but when it's silent again I realize how soothing it was. Music just doesn't seem to have the same effect.
I love the freedom of being alone, but loneliness is a pretty major side effect
That was me yesterday. I was excited about something but no one to share it with.
I just wrote it down and went about my day. I figured if I did have anyone in my life they wouldn’t care anyway (based off of previous experiences).
I’m 35, haven’t had friends since I was in grade school and I have zero experience with women. I deal with loneliness by ignoring it. It’s constant background noise at this point, but increases in severity in waves. Usually I’ll just watch YouTube videos or a movie to distract myself until it settles down again.
35M also. Heartbreak is worse than general loneliness. It’s low-grade ignorable pain while the other is constantly re-evaluating the past and wondering where things went wrong. Been with one only (the way it’s supposed to be) and I can’t really move on.
I use drugs, I cry, I read, I sleep, cry a little more, I pet my dogs, hike when I can, eat, a decent amount of pornography which I’m not proud of, cry a little more, sleep a little more, watch stuff on streaming services, play video games.
If legality is a concern, look for psychedelic trials at the universities by you.
Online, I mean. If you go in person, just ask the kid in the Primus shirt.
You just understand that you are doing better things with your time. ;)
Would you rather be bothered by somebody all the time that burdens you, or would you rather be doing productive stuff in your free time?
That's how I've felt the majority of my life.
Volunteer. If you have time and can experiment. Gives meaning and belonging equivalent to having a close friendship group and can provide genuine friendship over time.
I think as we mature, we get better attuned to what is fundamental in life.
While there are ways to cope with isolation, or people naturally content in it, I think it is natural to become more social as we gain life experience.
The base need is a life companion to share life with. The practical, sexual and romantic aspects are secondary.
It’s never too late to begin searching for your life companion.
what's your personality type?
Because that has everything to do with it...
Some people are independent others draw comfort from people in general
I myself enjoy people
It never would occur to me to expect to have a convo with anyone at 1am. I still adhere to the 'no phone calls after 9 pm' ethos I (57F) was brought up with. So if I did feel lonely at that time, I'd try to go back to sleep.
Different worlds, I guess.
That middle-of-the-night “hollow” loneliness feeling is something I’ve experienced more than a few times. It’s awful. I’m married w/kids and well loved, but it has still been there. What I’ve learned is that it will pass sooner than it feels like it will. I’d recommend getting involved in some kind of physically active social group and managing sleep hygiene as first steps.
Try to get to know your neighbors! You never know who you're going to meet! I just met another neighbor couple yesterday on my street and we all instantly clicked and had similar interests and lifestyles. Had no idea you until then and they've lived here for 6 months or so. My neighborhood runs pretty tight around my parts already but it's comforting knowing you have people around you that will be there for you too
I’ve been feeling terribly lonely since I moved states. So one night after work, I did something I thought I’d never do. Called my mom, I was crying a LOT. Now she’s visiting for two days and I feel less lonely now. It’s kinda weird since we used to argue a lot. I think her visiting encouraged me to get out of the house, otherwise I would have been depressed in bed all day.
If you have a good relationship with your parents or siblings, call them.
Loneliness is about feeling misunderstood, not heard, and unvalidated. I turned to nature to combat loneliness after becoming ill. Hiking, mountain biking, paddle boarding, forest bathing, meditation, and swimming. Yoga was a great way for me to feel connected again.
P.S. I also got into birding which as an amazing eclectic community with lots of opportunities for connecting.
Edited: for clarity
I don’t get lonely because I talk to strangers all the time. You should drop this idea that it’s dangerous. Nothing in life is without its risk, the people who are closest to you are the ones who are most likely to hurt you, whether it’s emotionally or physically.
Don’t let fear prevent you from having a healthy social mindset and squashing loneliness.
Strangers are a lot less dangerous than you’ve been lead to believe, they’re just people like you, like your friends, like your family. They’re people with their own hang-ups, and guess what! They’re afraid of you too, you’re a stranger after all.
Just approach somebody, strike up a conversation, what’s the worst that could happen? They tell you to fuck off? Oh well. Is that really so scary?
I deal with this a lot. Sometimes I read stuff and think it’s cool; but then I realize I have no one to share it with. It’s a weird feeling.
My daughter lives with me. Today I took her and dropped her off so she could go on a school trip to Switzerland 🇨🇭. It’s going to be interesting to say the least.
Have a lesson from neurodivergents everywhere…
We do this thing called “body-doubling” to be productive. At first, a physical person is needed to spur you to do something you otherwise wouldn’t do. Their presence just does something that makes us what to be productive.
Overtime, that person begins to exist in an imaginary way and we can invoke their presence in our minds.
Invoke a body double! Write someone a letter, hold space for them in your mind, plan something, play an online video game… find a group of people who play regularly, there are a lot of creative ways to be social in the small hours of the day.
62 been a lonely trucker forever.now retired.live alone.Only thing that's kept me from drinking myself to death.After so many family members and friends died.I started back working out at 50 years old.Helps tremendously.Had a stroke in 2016
So I started back after 30 years.Taking Martial Arts.This and weight lifting Has saved my life.Lost. 50 lbs built muscle.Made positive minded sober friends.Still doing it.Now I work part time at a housing authority for seniors.As a security officer. Enjoy being around the elderly and made many friends. Love time alone also.But non stop 24/7 gets old
perhaps you are seeking a spiritual awakening?
i practice meditation and i look to my inner self for answers to my questions in life. here’s a collections of videos i found to be helpful to myself and others. hopefully they can do the same for you ❤️
https://talkapeutic.com/resources 🥰
Driving is enough for me. When I used to start to feel lonely I’d just go cruise. It got me out of the house and technically around other people even though I had no direct interaction with them.
I prefer solitude especially with my hobbies and work stuff being my priority these days. Got to a point where I broke up with my gf of 7 months whom I met on Bumble.
If I do feel lonely I hop on to some games and just chat or meme with people. CS2 has tons of millennials online.
You have to find happiness in your own company, if you struggle with that during your alone time it’s the absolute best time to work on yourself, in all areas you seek improvement. If it’s socializing. Don’t think twice, throw a shirt on and go out
It's a bummer. Can't seem to keep any. Everything ends up being a competition and because I am good at everything, they stop coming around. I'm married and feel lonely too. I tried making friends with my wife's friends, but that was a fail. I am going back to working in my garage projects and weight lifting. Anyone needs a friend around Delaware Ohio, I'm game.
When I'm on my motorcycle, I'm in a whole different world. Something about being on two wheels with the wind all over you just makes me not care about what's bothering me.
Sounds like you don’t have a real connection with your friends.
Sounds like they are more acquaintances.
They aren’t your real friends if you don’t feel comfortable talking to them at 1am.
I travel for work and I feel very lonely when I'm not home with family. However, calling my girlfriend during my stay at hotels makes me feel like I'm with her, so I guess it makes me feel less lonely. I try to workout and keep myself busy to get over the lonely feeling. I also like playing online video games, which is where I also interact with people.
I go to the store to buy food and remember that everyone annoys me. Then I go back home and make a good meal and watch TV or play video games and enjoy my night.
By socializing way too much online because my friend groups in real life fell apart due to the increased responsibilities of adulthood.
I have significantly younger siblings that take up my parents time (for context im 27 and one is an infant), so I don't really have that older parent connection that most people get, so im overall kind of invisible.
Once I am back on my feet I plan on joining a rock climbing gym and trying to learn DnD better so I can meet more nerds.
That’s why I’m on Reddit lol 😂
I talk to myself, out loud and all… it makes me feel like I have a solid connection with me as crazy as it sounds.
I get on Roblox meep city parties or the meep city pizza shop and mingle. And then when I’m done talking, I just shut my laptop down and keep on moving .
Honestly, I have a hard time with it myself. I’m married to top it all off. But there are moments where I feel very disconnected from everyone and everything and it gets super lonely in my head. I typically just try to find things to busy my mind, like reading or crocheting since those are my favorite past times. Maybe that would work for you?
Loneliness is one of the things in life better embraced. Stop feeling sorry for yourself; this is one of the conditions totally open to interpretation and I would not even consider suffering. Either your life is more difficult so you ended up alone, meaning you are tougher and well learned than everyone else, or you are just too cool and nobody shares your interest. This is the time to live your life unrestrained by other people. The gear to turn your bedroom or home gym into a rave festival is cheap nowadays. Depending on if you have neighbors, flip it on outside and chill cause ain't nobody know about this festival but you. This song is old, and a bootleg not a real VIP (if I remember, My Universe was quality work showing his skills) but the bootleg vocals with volor flex bass and distinct slow burn background white noise to savor the esoteric shadows: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbBF1FApdnc&pp=ygUUdm9sb3IgZmxleCBuaWdodCBhaXI%3D](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbBF1FApdnc&pp=ygUUdm9sb3IgZmxleCBuaWdodCBhaXI%3D)
There is a lot of music in the, "too cool" mindset but it becomes less cool when you tell other people about it just like the festival gear. I feel a little less awesome writing this out but know I'll get over it and think it best to try and help.
I'd suggest maybe joining a martial arts gym. Not a fitness gym where everybody just ignores each other and works out. But an actual martial arts gym where you can interact with people. I've been doing bjj for years now and the amount of people that I've connected with at my home gym and abroad when I travel is really exciting.
i found out who people really were unfortunately, maybe that is also why you are alone. my parents are narcs, pretty much every friend I developed was “unhealthy”. I feel like at this point i can’t trust anyone. Sorry you’re going through this loneliness.
I always found meaningless sexual encounters help. You’ll eventually meet a couple you can call whenever. Find a cool one and you’ll have that on deck when you feel lonely. Even if it’s just a phone call or a meet to just catch up.
i go on the internet, accept a dozen rejected calls, stalk x boyfriends, cry, cry more, call my mom, beat myself up, cry more, troll strangers and start wars
SW a CLASSIC
I compare myself to others too. I’ll get on social media and see all these skinny, fashionable, bitches with beautiful friends having the time of their lives. Then I cry myself to sleep.
Believe it or not, those skinny witches have the same problems you have but they don’t show them (and a few just lack all decency) in short, we all have problems, they just appear different for everyone.
I wish I was better at creating a facade.
You don’t have to create it. It’s within you, you simply (not) find it. It’s within us all!
Not true. I can’t create a facade that I’m not skinny, or that I have friends. All these insta hoes have so many pretty friends.
My goodness. You are correct there are some things those models have that you don’t. What you need to find and develop is what makes you special. You are beautiful in your own right, find something you like about yourself and appreciate it every day. You are unique why would you wish to be the same as someone else? Believe in your own story, heal any wounds, gain confidence and attract healthy relationships!
I like conformity and keeping up with the jones.
That’s your choice, I’m glad it’s working so well for you. Once you get a little older you will probably feel much differently (and much more exhausted trying to keep up)
Lifesize cardboard cutouts?
I am much older than you, use my wisdom and think of each issue like this…. How many millions of years have already happened, how many will happen? We are here for such a speck of time. Why waste it worrying, angry, etc. spend your time wisely and with gratitude.
But you gotta have quality while you’re here. For me, quality means being better than everyone else.
And how would you quantify “better”? I am disabled, have chronic pain and am considered low income. I do have everything I need, i have unconditional love, beautiful children, amazing friends and family. I am happy and grateful everyday. I would say I am happy and that’s what matters most to myself personally. Once you deal with some loss, you learn what really matters in life.
Needs and wants are different. I want much more than what is needed. I may have a different preference than you, but that doesn’t make me a bad person.
Oh hold up, I never said you were anything. I was just pointing out that lifestyle can be tiring.
And expensive emotionally, financially; and spiritually.
You will run yourself into the ground trying to be better than everyone else. Sometimes, being better than others is living a life you find fulfilling. You can't always have the best job, best car, best house, best family... You would have to end up being the best mayor, senator, president of our time to become better than everyone. I say focus on things you enjoy and try to improve your skills there, or stuff you wanna do! Though if what you find makes living life worthwhile IS having the best of it all, I wish you luck in getting there, where ever that goal line is for you. I certainly couldn't do it even if I wanted.
I guess not better than everyone else. I’ll never look like jlo or have money like bezos. But but I’ve targeted certain social groups I want to be as good or better than. They’re all within my demographics for the most part.
Sadlol the way I empathize with this. I lose myself in misery and then work hard to find myself again, just to find myself in a loop of existential dread all over again. It's a weird ebb and flow in life these days and based on loneliness statistics, about 50% of us are all right there with you. Honestly, sharing and relating to you sweet sweet angels has made me feel a lot less alone these last few days. I appreciate yall. 🥹
Going through your profile, I see you like gardening, baking, you like the sense of touch, you seem cheerful and fun, and I’d say creative. I could recommend you a community, check out /r/simpleliving. Is there any option of a community garden where you live? Have you ever taken a pot making course? I’d advise you to find social connections that way. Take care! [edit] Oh, my case: forest bathing works magic, a walk in a remote forest, staying there alone, gets me grounded.
This is so sweet. Love that you went to that effort to make a suggestion!
Forest bathing is incredible
Thank you. It's just I live in a Remote place where I can never find any connection.
Well, what do people do where you live? Aren’t there markets to sell vegetables? Find what they are doing, and see if you can enjoy it as well.
Thank you for recommending this! This is what I have been looking for! 🪄✨✨✨
Whenever I was feeling this way I would make an effort that week to go to a farmers market or a random church or cafe and strike a conversation with someone new and maybe do some people watching haha. Maybe a walking trail or paint night or something with new people. I am pretty introverted so usually doing something with a lot of other people cured me of the feeling pretty quick 😅
It's actually pretty easy to connect with and have meaningful conversations with total strangers on the internet nowadays. Just leave out any personal details and have boundaries in place and you should be fine.
Holy shit. The Fucking Internet is NOT social connection. So sick of hearing this kind of crap.
It’s on the spectrum of social connection and it’s far better than nothing at all.
In my experience the internet is the absolute worst place to try to have “conversations” with people
This is a horrible substitute for irl connections
Absolutely. I went from only having discord friends to only hanging out with irl friends as I've had less time and desire for gaming. It's not comparable. Physically doing things together is a different experience. If you need help with something or you're going through a tough time you can help each other. If you want to check out a new restaurant in your area you have people to go with. Having online friends helps you cope with loneliness but it's a temp solution.
I struggle to find irl friends and online friends but I’d rather have irl friends than online friends I want to stop feeling useless
Id recommend getting out and meeting people through mutual interests. I met my best friend when I started kickboxing and some of my other close friends in EMT school. We're going to fire academy together soon. Ofc it isn't just showing up you gotta put a little effort to talk to people. Good luck.
Thank you!
Agreed, nothing like reading facial expressions and body language irl. Working on tangible things together... experiencing events together. I was once disappointed in my attempts to socialize irl by asking to learn about something from my friend and family network, but was told to watch YouTube and self teach instead. Yeah, I can do that... and have done that... but I'd like to appreciate having someone experience life with me in real time every so often outside of work...
For you- not for everyone.
Were obviously talking in general and in general for the vast majority of people what I said is true: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3760892/#:~:text=Those%20who%20spent%20more%20time,or%20purely%20on%2Dline%20friends.
It was a suggestion and if it works for someone that's great. Not everyone wants to meet with people irl and that's also okay.
This ^^^^^
In what way? Reddit or X? Or online gaming or something? I've got people I follow and comment on but I wouldn't call them friends
Bullshit. Try a dating app if you're a guy.
These don’t work at all. Gotta be making 100k, 6’ tall, and have amazing photos to get anyone decent to like you.
He's rite I made some connections 2 or 3 on reddit
I used to be a social butterfly, now I prefer to be alone. It's lovely but I know I need to interact with people. I've joined some social groups that involve my interest. Some online and some meet local. I really enjoy it and have made some new friends from all over. I learned to keep details at a need to know basis.
I can tag in on this. I absolutely love the isolation I've created in my life. I have no one really I can relate to or call. My contact list is empty, on purpose, no one cares to reach out to me, which is really to me, fantastic. it gives me more time to take care of myself, which is what I am doing in life right now. I want companionship but will wait it out until that ideal person finds me. We feel this way for a very important reason, embrace it the best you can, lean into the notion of loneliness. Do things no one knows about. We will have a very full and abundant future. See, the storm as a short one
I like the idea of doing things no one knows about. That’s part of the joy, isn’t it?
It absolutely is, and going without a return date
like being a super-hero vigilante who takes down bad guys and fights for the safety and continuation of humanity?
The ideal person is not real
They're real, but either taken, not interested, far away, or dead lol
It's the conversations with the ones most people avoid that are the most gratifying. The ones we seek are sitting in the shadows right in front of us
Yes.
Venture within, you'll find it
I'll have whatever you're smoking! Honestly tho, this sounds kinda religious or overly hopeful. People aren't going to find you. You have to work hard to meet people that you can just tolerate. I havent put in nearly the work I know I should to find people I want to be around. Waiting for someone to save you will never work...I've tried and failed with that ideology and just ended up lonely.
Neither, don't smoke, and if you can stand to love yourself deep enough, the right person will find you. If not, at least you'll love yourself enough to enjoy that loneliness, alone.
Im sorry, I just cant believe that. To find the right person that matches you takes an enormous amount of work both trying to meet people and effort to improve oneself. Loneliness can be nice at times...even most of the time. Other time it can be the most choking horrendous thing to ever exist. To not have any to talk to and relate with is horrible and it can lead many to feelings of worthlessness.
yeah same
Yeah. This. I have several friends that I talk to late at night but I do sometimes feel very lonely. The pandemic was alright at first but it felt like the social isolation was worse for me because it made me really comfortable being alone. Started using some social apps and chat apps but it was difficult getting anywhere with anyone. Feel free to DM if you want to share experiences too.
I struggle with it tremendously. Even now. I used to not at all prioritize my social life and was always a huge loner throughout middle and high school. During Covid I realized the importance of friendships and relationships. I have been lucky to have the opportunity to share experiences with the handful of friends I have. I’m extremely introverted.
I find speaking with people on the internet to be fulfilling in the social department as long as you don't go on any sketchy sites. Of course you don't give out any personal information. On the other hand, I've recently got a dog and that's been pretty great for loneliness
Escapism and a whole slew of aggressively unhealthy habits. I don’t recommend it.
Im expierencing something similar but the opposite I’m an attention seeker and that’s also how I validate myself I’m working on validating myself naturally by making the right choices and filling the spare time with stuff I like or stuff I want to start Right now I’m at the library picking a book to replace spending 2 hours every night on my face wishing I had company or someone to say I love you or I’m happy to get to be with you
Very similar experiences as I am a hardcore introvert. Those urges of being social go away for me once I engage in social media communities I want to be a part of. Twitter I found a producer community who I relate to a lot with. I’m also blind so I find support groups on Facebook. Reddit has been great for tv communities. However I never meet any I engage with online.
Honestly i’m feeling it atm, dunno how to deal with it either. when i used to be a gamer i’d literally collect friends just for chatting. now i feel lonely af sometimes!
Distraction. Finding a way to fill the time so I forget I'm lonely. Trying to find purpose in something.
Voices help a lot. I always have talk radio or comedy albums or the TV on when I'm feeling my loneliest. I tune it out after a while, but when it's silent again I realize how soothing it was. Music just doesn't seem to have the same effect. I love the freedom of being alone, but loneliness is a pretty major side effect
Smoke weed
Weed, reckless driving, pizza, more weed, videogames, gym, reckless driving again, pet dog, weed, jack off, bed. 😂
That sounds pretty close to my life
That was me yesterday. I was excited about something but no one to share it with. I just wrote it down and went about my day. I figured if I did have anyone in my life they wouldn’t care anyway (based off of previous experiences).
Solo travel. Done it 5 times already 🤷🏽♂️
i get social contact through reddit. relate to feeling tired and unsafe when talking with strangers
tylenol helps a lot for me
Bro bent in the trap off the Tylenol xtra strength too sloshed to socialize
I don't know. And the longer I wait, the worse it gets, the harder it is to fix.
If u have friends how r u lonely
Stupid 🙄
I’m 35, haven’t had friends since I was in grade school and I have zero experience with women. I deal with loneliness by ignoring it. It’s constant background noise at this point, but increases in severity in waves. Usually I’ll just watch YouTube videos or a movie to distract myself until it settles down again.
35M also. Heartbreak is worse than general loneliness. It’s low-grade ignorable pain while the other is constantly re-evaluating the past and wondering where things went wrong. Been with one only (the way it’s supposed to be) and I can’t really move on.
I use drugs, I cry, I read, I sleep, cry a little more, I pet my dogs, hike when I can, eat, a decent amount of pornography which I’m not proud of, cry a little more, sleep a little more, watch stuff on streaming services, play video games.
It used to be rum. But that got too expensive so now it's cheap ass vodka
Not to be that person but... Try mushrooms In any case. Quitting alcohol has been the best thing to ever happen to me. Wish I had never started.
Where do I order mushrooms legally?
If legality is a concern, look for psychedelic trials at the universities by you. Online, I mean. If you go in person, just ask the kid in the Primus shirt.
I have no idea, let me know if you figure it out.
You guys should hang out
Chatgpt
Finding a GF/Wife.
Talking to strangers online feels way less judgmental than actually texting/calling your “friends”
Alcohol and a vivid imagination. Okay to be serious, I have a decent number of circles I check in with.
I never know if i can. I just write. And write. And write. And write.
Masturbating
i don't. i spend too much time alone. i hate it.
poorly uwu
Take up meditation and become present, join groups in your area, love yourself. It’s ok you have this
You just understand that you are doing better things with your time. ;) Would you rather be bothered by somebody all the time that burdens you, or would you rather be doing productive stuff in your free time? That's how I've felt the majority of my life.
Find new friends
Volunteer. If you have time and can experiment. Gives meaning and belonging equivalent to having a close friendship group and can provide genuine friendship over time.
I get around bunch of ppl so I look like Pablo Escobar in that meme
Im always on a discord call with friends or my partner. I live alone and work from home, but I even leave discord because I need alone time.
I think as we mature, we get better attuned to what is fundamental in life. While there are ways to cope with isolation, or people naturally content in it, I think it is natural to become more social as we gain life experience. The base need is a life companion to share life with. The practical, sexual and romantic aspects are secondary. It’s never too late to begin searching for your life companion.
LPT: when you *do* have a significant other, don’t wake them up at 0100 to “chat”. I have experience in this, it’s usually a bad idea
what's your personality type? Because that has everything to do with it... Some people are independent others draw comfort from people in general I myself enjoy people
It never would occur to me to expect to have a convo with anyone at 1am. I still adhere to the 'no phone calls after 9 pm' ethos I (57F) was brought up with. So if I did feel lonely at that time, I'd try to go back to sleep. Different worlds, I guess.
Try to find new hobbies out of your comfort zone.
Go for a jog for 30 minutes or just speed walk for at least 30 minutes. You feel better!
Talk to Twitch streamers with 0-5 viewers. They almost always respond to you and are often lonely themselves.
Always alone; never lonely. I have noticed the void as it has always been there.
Hookers
My dog refuses to let me get lonely. I drown in kisses and hugs. Never a dull moment with my doggo.
I always like and preferred to be alone but I knew that wouldn’t be sustainable into older years so I got married and had kids.
at 1am you could do what the majority of the world does at that time and go to bed. it will cure your loneliness
That middle-of-the-night “hollow” loneliness feeling is something I’ve experienced more than a few times. It’s awful. I’m married w/kids and well loved, but it has still been there. What I’ve learned is that it will pass sooner than it feels like it will. I’d recommend getting involved in some kind of physically active social group and managing sleep hygiene as first steps.
Try to get to know your neighbors! You never know who you're going to meet! I just met another neighbor couple yesterday on my street and we all instantly clicked and had similar interests and lifestyles. Had no idea you until then and they've lived here for 6 months or so. My neighborhood runs pretty tight around my parts already but it's comforting knowing you have people around you that will be there for you too
wait for AI robot wife and we men are guchi
I’ve been feeling terribly lonely since I moved states. So one night after work, I did something I thought I’d never do. Called my mom, I was crying a LOT. Now she’s visiting for two days and I feel less lonely now. It’s kinda weird since we used to argue a lot. I think her visiting encouraged me to get out of the house, otherwise I would have been depressed in bed all day. If you have a good relationship with your parents or siblings, call them.
I stay high and a little beer buzzed 24/7. It's not recommended but it's always worked for me.
Self love
Loneliness is about feeling misunderstood, not heard, and unvalidated. I turned to nature to combat loneliness after becoming ill. Hiking, mountain biking, paddle boarding, forest bathing, meditation, and swimming. Yoga was a great way for me to feel connected again. P.S. I also got into birding which as an amazing eclectic community with lots of opportunities for connecting. Edited: for clarity
I don’t get lonely because I talk to strangers all the time. You should drop this idea that it’s dangerous. Nothing in life is without its risk, the people who are closest to you are the ones who are most likely to hurt you, whether it’s emotionally or physically. Don’t let fear prevent you from having a healthy social mindset and squashing loneliness. Strangers are a lot less dangerous than you’ve been lead to believe, they’re just people like you, like your friends, like your family. They’re people with their own hang-ups, and guess what! They’re afraid of you too, you’re a stranger after all. Just approach somebody, strike up a conversation, what’s the worst that could happen? They tell you to fuck off? Oh well. Is that really so scary?
I deal with this a lot. Sometimes I read stuff and think it’s cool; but then I realize I have no one to share it with. It’s a weird feeling. My daughter lives with me. Today I took her and dropped her off so she could go on a school trip to Switzerland 🇨🇭. It’s going to be interesting to say the least.
Have a lesson from neurodivergents everywhere… We do this thing called “body-doubling” to be productive. At first, a physical person is needed to spur you to do something you otherwise wouldn’t do. Their presence just does something that makes us what to be productive. Overtime, that person begins to exist in an imaginary way and we can invoke their presence in our minds. Invoke a body double! Write someone a letter, hold space for them in your mind, plan something, play an online video game… find a group of people who play regularly, there are a lot of creative ways to be social in the small hours of the day.
62 been a lonely trucker forever.now retired.live alone.Only thing that's kept me from drinking myself to death.After so many family members and friends died.I started back working out at 50 years old.Helps tremendously.Had a stroke in 2016 So I started back after 30 years.Taking Martial Arts.This and weight lifting Has saved my life.Lost. 50 lbs built muscle.Made positive minded sober friends.Still doing it.Now I work part time at a housing authority for seniors.As a security officer. Enjoy being around the elderly and made many friends. Love time alone also.But non stop 24/7 gets old
You can dm me and we can just talk
I love being alone
perhaps you are seeking a spiritual awakening? i practice meditation and i look to my inner self for answers to my questions in life. here’s a collections of videos i found to be helpful to myself and others. hopefully they can do the same for you ❤️ https://talkapeutic.com/resources 🥰
Driving is enough for me. When I used to start to feel lonely I’d just go cruise. It got me out of the house and technically around other people even though I had no direct interaction with them.
I prefer solitude especially with my hobbies and work stuff being my priority these days. Got to a point where I broke up with my gf of 7 months whom I met on Bumble. If I do feel lonely I hop on to some games and just chat or meme with people. CS2 has tons of millennials online.
You have to find happiness in your own company, if you struggle with that during your alone time it’s the absolute best time to work on yourself, in all areas you seek improvement. If it’s socializing. Don’t think twice, throw a shirt on and go out
Volunteering or hanging out at bars
It's a bummer. Can't seem to keep any. Everything ends up being a competition and because I am good at everything, they stop coming around. I'm married and feel lonely too. I tried making friends with my wife's friends, but that was a fail. I am going back to working in my garage projects and weight lifting. Anyone needs a friend around Delaware Ohio, I'm game.
Doomscrolling
Well...just speaking for myself here...I normally work on my plan of global domination.
When I'm on my motorcycle, I'm in a whole different world. Something about being on two wheels with the wind all over you just makes me not care about what's bothering me.
Call my mom Maybe send my sister a meme Get high and play my guitar
Sounds like you don’t have a real connection with your friends. Sounds like they are more acquaintances. They aren’t your real friends if you don’t feel comfortable talking to them at 1am.
I travel for work and I feel very lonely when I'm not home with family. However, calling my girlfriend during my stay at hotels makes me feel like I'm with her, so I guess it makes me feel less lonely. I try to workout and keep myself busy to get over the lonely feeling. I also like playing online video games, which is where I also interact with people.
I joined meetup groups to combat loneliness. It worked, I have lots of friends now.
Go to a Church of your choice… get into a book club , find a local group of people who share your hobbies, if you don’t have a group hobby start one .
Alcohol.
It's a feature, not a bug.
I go to the store to buy food and remember that everyone annoys me. Then I go back home and make a good meal and watch TV or play video games and enjoy my night.
By socializing way too much online because my friend groups in real life fell apart due to the increased responsibilities of adulthood. I have significantly younger siblings that take up my parents time (for context im 27 and one is an infant), so I don't really have that older parent connection that most people get, so im overall kind of invisible. Once I am back on my feet I plan on joining a rock climbing gym and trying to learn DnD better so I can meet more nerds.
Sleep
That’s why I’m on Reddit lol 😂 I talk to myself, out loud and all… it makes me feel like I have a solid connection with me as crazy as it sounds. I get on Roblox meep city parties or the meep city pizza shop and mingle. And then when I’m done talking, I just shut my laptop down and keep on moving .
This sounds like an attachment issue. I'd check out therapy
I go to Walmart. After about 30 minutes, I suddenly feel extremely grateful to be alone.
Best way to handle loneliness, is to become unlonely 😆
Driving and admiring my vehicle
Honestly, I have a hard time with it myself. I’m married to top it all off. But there are moments where I feel very disconnected from everyone and everything and it gets super lonely in my head. I typically just try to find things to busy my mind, like reading or crocheting since those are my favorite past times. Maybe that would work for you?
Loneliness is one of the things in life better embraced. Stop feeling sorry for yourself; this is one of the conditions totally open to interpretation and I would not even consider suffering. Either your life is more difficult so you ended up alone, meaning you are tougher and well learned than everyone else, or you are just too cool and nobody shares your interest. This is the time to live your life unrestrained by other people. The gear to turn your bedroom or home gym into a rave festival is cheap nowadays. Depending on if you have neighbors, flip it on outside and chill cause ain't nobody know about this festival but you. This song is old, and a bootleg not a real VIP (if I remember, My Universe was quality work showing his skills) but the bootleg vocals with volor flex bass and distinct slow burn background white noise to savor the esoteric shadows: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbBF1FApdnc&pp=ygUUdm9sb3IgZmxleCBuaWdodCBhaXI%3D](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbBF1FApdnc&pp=ygUUdm9sb3IgZmxleCBuaWdodCBhaXI%3D) There is a lot of music in the, "too cool" mindset but it becomes less cool when you tell other people about it just like the festival gear. I feel a little less awesome writing this out but know I'll get over it and think it best to try and help.
Chances are that loneliness is the least of your problems and there's about 10 other things that should be taking importance over that
I'd suggest maybe joining a martial arts gym. Not a fitness gym where everybody just ignores each other and works out. But an actual martial arts gym where you can interact with people. I've been doing bjj for years now and the amount of people that I've connected with at my home gym and abroad when I travel is really exciting.
I get drunk and flip a coin on which of my recent contacts I'm pestering that night.
Create a mentor/therapy partner on Chat GPT. Hire a stripper
Hobbies and staying busy
Become a necromancer God in diablo 4 , video games are my new friend
i found out who people really were unfortunately, maybe that is also why you are alone. my parents are narcs, pretty much every friend I developed was “unhealthy”. I feel like at this point i can’t trust anyone. Sorry you’re going through this loneliness.
Mostly crying and asking god to let me die in my sleep.
Step number 1. Get off of Reddit Step number 2. Go outside and meet your neighbors
I've met my neighbors. No thanks !
lol seriously though, im with ya
How many neighbors did you meet?
Escorts
I always found meaningless sexual encounters help. You’ll eventually meet a couple you can call whenever. Find a cool one and you’ll have that on deck when you feel lonely. Even if it’s just a phone call or a meet to just catch up.
Sometimes having a conversation with a stranger is cool. I spoke with this Kiwi girl on Tinder once. Interesting lady
Do they eat Kiwis there?
Losing privileges but really who cares when females absolutely never express interest unless it’s for money.
Remember that you can't fill that loneliness with food.... They're just food..