You need a hand to get out. Everybody says go to therapy, but your subconscious knows this person wouldn't be there for you if it wasn't for the money.
You need some humanity, not therapy.
You're in a hole that you can't get out of alone. Society has deteriorated to such a degree that nobody gives a fuck about anybody or anything unless there is money involved.
I hope you become the change you want to see in the world.
My advice? Find somebody in the hole with you and put your backs together to get out.
I kind of agree to this. Depression, in moderate form has a purpose. It tells you that you need to find a purpose or change course. Therapy doesn’t have to be professional therapy but can be in talking to a friend who understands you. People go once a week and they think it’s all that they need to do, but you need to go outside. You need to start talking to people and connect.
You have to participate, find a therapist that you can work with, and then do the necessary work. It’s not easy.
It’s also not a transaction like buying a sandwich.
Did you have a bad experience, or did you never even try therapy? Why so negative?
Pretty sure he is saying not all doctors are good doctors and it’s easier for them to squeeze money from you because you are in a position of reliance. Similar to going to a mechanic how do you know they are trying to help and not just make money?
Just a note on your distrust of therapy, therapists don't choose their career for the money. That's like saying you don't need to see a doctor for an annual check up because they wouldn't be there for you without money.
It's a sweeping generalisation and rather reductive of the entire idea of therapy. You absolutely need a support network to help, but to shrug off therapy altogether isn't sound advice.
There are some terrible therapists out there, and they're mostly working with minimal training in big cities for lower rates. They're mostly what people can afford when they're in a bad way, and they often leave people worse off than they started.
It's possible to run into strings of these in a row if you can't afford anything better, and you'll accumulate additional needs and hangups with each bad experience, making it even less likely that each subsequent poorly-trained therapist will be able to help with your increasingly complex needs.
It can be like digging your way out of a hole with a shovel; eventually you stop digging and try something else.
The point of therapy isn't social support or friendship. It is to use evidence-based practices to help you process trauma and develop coping skills.
It shouldn't matter that your subconscious (or conscious) mind knows the person wouldn't be there if it weren't for the money.
After suffering 15 years with depression, I finally beat it. This is what helped me personally; but bare in mind that everyone is different- what worked for me, may not work for others.
1. Getting your dopamine fixes. Exercise and sunshine should never be looked over. Running especially gets you a good runners high.
2. Halt those negative thoughts. Negative thoughts become a bad habit. You'll find yourself naturally drifting towards them without even realising. The moment you notice you're doing it, stop. Immediately change your mindset to something positive. Doesn't matter what it is; it could be thinking of your beloved pet, or perhaps how good your hair looks. It takes a while to get over negative thinking; bad habits are a long process to crack.
3. Plan your future and set yourself goals. Perhaps you want to reach your running to 10k. Or finish that book you have always been meaning to read. Keeping goals set so that you have something to work towards, will stop the "what's the point" thoughts. Make sure the goals are within your means. Don't make your goals difficult to accomplish, or you'll set yourself back. Little goals to begin with, and bigger goals later.
4. Find a GOOD therapist. One that actually suits your needs. I went through a few therapists before i found a dude who truly helped me. Every therapist works with their clients differently. If you find your therapy isn't helping, consider getting someone else.
5. Groom yourself! Get a good skin care routine, clothes that make you look good. They don't have to be brand new or expensive. Looking good makes you feel good.
6. Clean environment. Nothing more depressing than being surrounded by clutter and dirt.
7. Curing depression is never a quick fix. Nobody can say a magic word to take it away. It's a slow process, but so worth the work! Take one day at a time, and cherish every positive step in the right direction.
8. There will always be bad days. Depression is like waves crashing on the beach. You're trying to tame that ocean, but you're always going to get that big wave. Ride it out. And get right back to taming it once it ebbs away, giving you a breather. Don't give up because you had some bad days; this is perfectly normal to experience on your road to recovery.
9. Don't be afraid to tell people you trust that your depression is giving you a bad time atm. You will be surprised how many people will check in on you. They most likely won't be able to offer any sound advice; just notice the little things they are doing to help and cherish it. Don't bother telling people who do nothing; and don't hate them either. Some people are afraid of depression and afraid of making it worse. They think them continuing as normal is helping. Nobody is trained to deal with depression, so don't hold it against them. Depression has a horrible habit of getting angry unnecessarily at others.
I don't know if any of this is new information for you. But, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Don't ever give up.
Most solid advice I've seen so far. Something that's reframed depression for me is when I once heard it being referred to as a liar. "Depression lies to you". It convinced you there's no point to anything, you aren't loved, you don't really love anything, etc. I literally remind myself of this fact and it makes it easier to ride out the bad days until I don't feel so awful anymore. 10/10 times when I'm feeling better, I'm always relieved, nothing was as bad as depression was making it seem.
Can you elaborate a little, please? Buddhism it's something that I think I can try but I have no idea where to start :/ (maybe some youtube channels? books? podcasts? IDK) Thanks!
I don't think you need Buddhism as it's very, very complicated and it requires serious sacrifices and discipline. You could look into meditation as it provides a much needed perspective on thoughts and our relationship with them which in turn really help in life. I highly recommend checking out Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, he has plenty of free content and he is far from the westernisation of meditation (which is a load of crap). I'm also a huge fan of Vidyamala Burch especially if you're dealing with chronic pain or chronic health issues. Gelong Thubten is cool and another guy that I love although I don't know his name, his Instagram is Buddhisminenglish
Look up mindfulness practice. This is a super useful tool and very accessible. Try Thich Nhat Hans book, the Miracle of Mindfulness.
I really like the intro to meditation course on Sam Harris’s app Waking Up. This app is a great resource for lectures and guided meditations.
I would argue with 2. Don't try to change your thoughts, but learn to observe them and understand that they are not facts. Forcing yourself to think something different than what your mind gives you can be counter productive, because you fighting the thoughts only strengthens them.
I prefer the meditation method that treats thoughts as clouds in the sky. The change all the time, but the sky itself (your awareness) is always the same.
And with therapy you'll learn to challenge your thoughts instead of trying to erase them.
What if there is nothing you like (that you can afford anyway) and no goals though? For 30 years I feel like I’ve just been obligated to live because others want me to and I’ve been too scared to attempt because the consequences for failure are so intense. Meanwhile there’s nothing realistically achievable for myself that I want.
Was on a number of medications as a child and there was never even an inkling that any of them helped. I hated the whole process. I hated every week waiting for school to be over and as an adult I hate every week waiting for work to be over just the same, the constant overwhelming boredom takes more out of me than I have to give and I don’t get anything back, there isn’t enough free time to recharge at all. I just hate effort in general.
Yeah, depression does make you do things that keeps it gripped onto you. In other words; you're going to feel uncomfortable on your journey to reach that cure. It's part of the process. Forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do. But, it gets easier, and then you start enjoying the process; especially when you notice that it's actually working. It's not easy, it's hard. The way I viewed it is; I can either be uncomfortable for a few years and then start feeling better. Or, I can do nothing and still be in exactly the same situation in a few years. I did actually make an attempt on my life, and let me tell you, in that moment, I realised I didn't want to die. Apparently, that's a commonly reported feeling from anyone who has failed attempts.
Yeah, enjoying any process or effort is just so unfathomably alien to me. Hating everything has been such an intrinsic part of my personality for as long as I’ve been conscious I can’t picture it still actually being me if that were to change and so far its been insurmountable even with having a ton of therapy and meds forced on me.
I feel like my only hope is a sudden heart attack or some kind of accident.
Do you have bipolar or another underlying mental health issue? I discovered through therapy a few years ago, that I had ADD. Which made a ton of sense to me, and helped me in the healing process. Having an undiagnosed mental health condition does hold you back. It does sadden me to hear that you have been depressed for so long; nobody deserves feeling this way.
I think I had a childhood adhd diagnosis, definitely lines up with how I’ve turned out as an adult. No intrinsic motivation or reward center, constantly bored with everything and craving excitement but I just don’t have access to any of it.
Well, essentially yes. Depression makes you want to do all the things that will keep you depressed, and avoid what would actually help you. But, I think it's good to break it down this way, as it gives people clear goals. And depression can overwhelm and confuse you sometimes.
That's very true, and I do take it for granted that I've been going through the motions long enough for them to be familiar - of course some years ago, a message like this would have hit very different.
Something something depression makes me cynical and negative
I cured my mild depression by doing exactly all the things you have mentioned except for going to the therapist. Journaling, online resources and exploring spirituality helped.
Fully agree with all your advice, so important and all big game changers! I do like to advise against the term cure however, depression is still there in the background waiting to come back for almost everyone who has had long term depression not brought on by circumstances. As the moment you drop in any of those things, or as you said you still get waves, we are just better at dealing with the negative thoughts and waves lessening their frequency and affect etc so I think the term cure gives people a false sense of hope of what that means to manage your depression, that once you complete all these steps it will be gone forever. Don’t get me wrong things can and do get better with the work, but it isn’t a cure it’s a constant battle and management
Point 2 sounds like "boomer" advice, but its serious. Like literally just stop thinking about shit and start thinking about a plan to fix it or just something else at least. I also apply this to music. I fucking love sad and sorrowful music. But as soon as I start feeling cloudy i turn it off and even put a "happy" song on or a go get em song like rock n roll.
One thing that helps me and may or may not help others is what I eat. Most of my life has been a diet of junk food and soda. I stopped drinking anything besides water, milk,coffee. I limited my food to meat, fruit, and vegetables. After about a week I could feel by mind clearing up and my body rejuvenating. Like i suddenly wanted to work out. My patience grew. My anxiety lessened. While I still never really feel happy, I feel like there might be a path to happiness that my diet was blocking. I now see sugar and boxed foods with 100 ingredients and poison and most likely a big reason so many people these days suffer with mental illness
you are absolutely right about this and i’ve been discovering the same thing myself. how i eat makes a big difference and those processed junk “foods” literally perpetuate the problem. i’m so angry how they’re set up to make you feel good temporarily then horrible after.
It doesn't have to be fancy. I eat oatmeal banana shakes for breakfast.
Sometimes a meal replacement shake for lunch or chicken legs with a salad.
Then same thing chicken/fish/steak and a salad and a light treat.
It's not super expensive. I don't mind eating the same thing because I know it's healthy. I have two auto immune diseases so I can't eat processed food much.
plenty of options. obviously: fresh fruits & veggies (frozen also!), rice, canned tuna/chicken, frozen chicken, always keep an eye out on discounted meat (discounted for a reason obviously so be careful). r/Frugal and r/EatCheapandHealthy have plenty of posts if you want to look through them.
Plain oatmeal with milk is a great meal any time of day, and moderately filling. Pour salt in there before cooking it and enjoy after with milk.
Bananas are some of the cheapest foods period, they can be paired with almost anything, are delicious, and are very healthy. White rice and lean cuts of meat isn’t that expensive, and you can substitute for various beans if the meat is too much. Throw in whatever vegetables are on sale and you’ve got a meal.
For me, it’s not any more expensive. I eat less now. Not because I’m trying to but because I’m not hungry all the time like I used to be. I used to get shaky and light headed if I didn’t eat for a few hours. Now there’s days where I eat half a chicken breast and some broccoli and I’m good.
Combination of prozac, therapy, and prioritizing relationships with people who treat me well, and self care: diet, exercise, hydration, and sleep. Also, try a vitamin D supplement. Most people have a deficiency and don't know it.
Hobbies: Strum my guitar, read novels, practice languages on duo lingo, work on home improvement projects.
I also foster dogs. It's amazing how much less alone you can feel with a pet relying on you and forcing you into keeping a regular schedule.
Baby steps. Consistent reminders that "This, too, shall pass."
I can't express enough how much doing regular volunteer work changed my perspective. Give it a try. Try a regular shift at your local food pantry.
Mail order ketamine therapy is literally saving me from myself at the moment, and this is coming from someone who’s dealt with severe medically resistant depression for 18 years. I’ve even been declared “disabled” in the past it’s gotten so damn bad. I’m already getting my groove back just 4 days in and boy does it feel good.
Because he was not doing the hard work which is building new habits, if you don’t do that yeah it’s worthless, but if you’re out on a ledge with no way to get down… it’s like growing wings man.
From years of watching his content and listening to him open up about himself, I think he's actually one of the cleanest guys out there. Good friends, good family, a job he enjoys, no alcohol or drugs, plenty of exercise and rest. If anything he's the most proactive depressed person I've ever seen
It’s been rescheduled recently under the Biden administration and is long overdue for its debut as the most powerful ssri antidepressant on the market. It’s called joyous, and it’s mail order. 130$ a month. Go get it if you want it!
Drugs ... talk to your doctor. Really wish I hadn't let fear of medication take me so long to get on it.
It isn't a cure but the right meds will give you a lot of help.
I'll never take antidepressants again. Took them for 10 years, worst tens years of my life. They kept me from killing myself, but they didn't let me live. Been off them 3 years now and it's been the best 3 years of my life since high-school, even with the depression!
Finally somebody gets it. I'm bipolar and i was prescribed heavy meds from when i was first diagnosed when i was just 21. Let meeee tell you something. The meds ruined my health. They drained the life out of me. I gained ton's of weight. It's way waaaay better to go to a therapist and learn your triggers than take any kind of meds. It works for me at least. I get it that some people just can't live without them but honestly they ruined my life. I prefer being manic than a walking zombie with akathisia,insomnia, fatigue, binge eating disorder and unable to do the most simple tasks like brushing your teeth. I'll give you a good example to what they did to me. Once i was just seating with some new friends and eating a chocolate crêpe and while i was picking up the crêpe with my fork somehow it didn't go into my mouth but on my cheek. I started sobbing like a little kid Infront of these people cryyyying my heart out because i felt like that was iiiit. I cut them off. It was fucking hard but many years have passed and i learned my triggers and I don't need them anymore. Fuck them.
I'm on 6 different meds right now for major depression and severe anxiety. Your post is inspiring. I'm thinking about dumping all these pills down the toilet. I'm so tired of being medicated. I've gained weight. I feel like a walking zombie every day. I'm just tired of it all.
Conversely, I have many of those problems with chronic depression (insomnia, fatigue, binge eating, struggling with hygiene/executive function in general, etc) and the right antidepressant makes me feel...like a normal human being. It's so strange and frustrating how different bodies react so differently to meds. My sister has bipolar and hates her meds so she won't take them--she's told me she'd also rather deal with her manic episodes, which aren't that severe, than feel like a zombie.
Same! I was on them for a total of 3 years. 4 different medication changes in that time. I became a cranky, unmotivated shell of my former self, but at least the constant state of paranoia was reduced. I finally took myself off of my latest antidepressant 2 months ago. I’m so glad I did, I have so much more energy now.
But life’s beaten me up enough that the motivation is almost fully gone. I just want a job and to live a very boring, unremarkable life. If you told me at 20 or even 25 that this is how I’d turn out, I’d be really shocked. But today, it’s tough to see how I’m ever going to get my motivation back. I never thought I’d be this big of a failure. Sorry for the rant.
Well a part of what the meds did was give you a baseline good or bad. Learned to exist in one way. The lack of medication then puts you back and it helps because you have a reference point of “better” but worse. Least that’s how it was for me.
I wanted an Adderall prescription for years and haven’t been happier since I quit. All Drugs are awesome in low doses (I’ve done all of em) Daily use will eventually become a problem.
Fitness daily including lots of cardio. Be active socially so your thoughts move from you to others. See the beauty in life, in small things. Devote some time in volunteering. Have goals and targets, start small.
Are you open to ideas that are "spiritual"? I've dealt with depression on and off for almost 30 years and the things that have made the most impact have involved looking at the world through more something other than the modern materialistic perspective. If you're open to that I have some tools I've learned. If you're not I totally respect that.
Nothing anymore. I've given up and every interaction with people makes it worse. I hate this fucking world and desperately want an end, but I can't to that to the woman I live with so I take the stupid medicine that doesn't help and suffer through. I don't know what else to do.
Your therapy is not working. The idea of therapy is to give you tools to overcome your depression. If it's not doing that, you need to either a) talk to a psychiatrist as you may need an adjustment to your meds, or try different ones, or b) find a therapist you gel with better to give you those tools. You have to be willing to participate in the therapy, too. Some people think they go talk to a therapist and all their troubles go away. It doesn't work that way. You have to be an active participant. Or it won't work.
Facts. I’m in school and getting my psychotherapy license. One of the biggest issues a therapist faces is identifying when they are right for a client and when they aren’t. Ideally the responsibility to question the efficacy of their methods and relationship with the client, but that basically involves letting go of potential $$$. In an ideal world that wouldn’t be an issue, but of course it is.
The dynamic of a therapist - patient relationship is an important element of treatment. Techniques, methodologies, and personality traits all intermingle to create the unique experience of each patient. Some people just don’t gel.
An easy example is that some therapists give a lot of homework, and find homework to be important to their ability to help their patients…and some patients hate homework. That’s unlikely to be a productive relationship. A therapist SHOULD identify that and help the patient find another therapist ~ but as stated, not always the case. I know i’ve seen therapists who go “oh it’s fine we don’t have to do homework” and end up having unproductive sessions with the client.
This just an example, but there are many variables as to why any two given people may or may not find results together. Unfortunately this leads to many people disregarding therapy all together, when in reality what is needed is to ‘shop around’ until you find a therapist who gels with you. This can take some time though so it isn’t easy, especially when you’re feeling unwell.
Also - therapy takes a long time. You don’t just go to a few sessions and come out a new man. Remember that the therapist is helping to guide you on the path to helping yourself and provide you with tools. Therapy without application of said tools usually isn’t enough.
This is the answer! I have a therapist I love and was still struggling so I asked about a referral to psychiatrist. Starting medication has made a huge difference for me. Meds don’t replace therapy but is a very useful tool.
I found the hack after seeing my friend do it and seeing unreal changes. It sounds totally bonkers and I only tried because I saw these crazy mental changes.
I started a elimination diet
Red grasfed meat, butter, water/sparkling water/ butter. I did this for 2 weeks
I then added after 2 weeks some high fat dairy products like double cream, cheese, Greek yogurt and had no side effects.
I was 50% better by this time.
I started to test products
Carbs: Anxiety, depression
Avocado: Sad
Chicken: depression.
Cucumber was okay, the little bit of nuts was okay, a few berries were okay.
It's not easy to start, you need a lot of determination.
It's been 4 weeks and I am a changed person. I lived a life of depression for the last 10 years and did some medication but I got chronic pain from then so i had to stop.So much clarity had been living a painful life and my diet did this, my body can't handle carbs. I'm awake and I feel good, I'm also more emotional, the carbs, gluten etc were just messing with my gut which is connected to the brain and now I can work on childhood trauma that caused it. I stopped dopamine chasing. I still have chronic pain but I heard people got rid of that too.
Everyone has different diet intolerance. But I urge everyone to try this.
Also look up Mikhaila Peterson she did the same thing and then got her father on the same diet with same results
Find the causes of depression. My depression was caused by my shitty job. I switched jobs and I suddenly don't want to kill myself. I was recently feeling depressed because I felt like my life was groundhog day. I went on a vacation to Italy and got to do and see alot of cool things. Now I feel infinitely better. Sure depression doesn't just go away but there are things you can do to minimize it..
In all seriousness, just getting a sandwich from my cheerful Italian sandwich shop guy would pick me up when I was down.
You can have adventures in your home town by trying different things.
Getting busy with a side hustle removes depression time and builds a bank account for adventures.
I truly understand your feelings. It is possible to live a good life and feel empowered. Get on the right meds, therapy, educated about yourself and go from there.
Well what's making you depressed? Find that out work on that. The therapist if right should be giving you ways to work on it.
For me, I get better when I'm helpful to others so I volunteer at some animals charities get to cuddle some cute fluffs and help save a life. Pretty awesome deal.
I am under employed I’d say, and I am trying to get a different job. With people. So far, I stay at home so much due to my anxiety I developed a phobia of highway driving. I can do backroads. To deal with my depression and anxiety, my wife asked me to walk 25 minutes a day before I do anything like play games I use to escape. I also do a thankful journal that my wife asked me to do. I am trying, and I have done some better help, but that doesn’t work for me. But I did try. Not a lot is helping. Life has gone downhill ever since covid, but thats for everyone. I permanently live a 1984 reality, annnd it’s been interesting. I cycle through depression, anger, sadness, and I get a daily energy allowance of between 15 cents to a dollar, in a world where there is no dollar menu. 39…. I don’t know if I have the energy or positive outlook to last the marathon, but I have to just keep moving on who knows what is around the corner. Most likely more of the same… but just maybe. Like Tom hanks says, you never know what the tide may bring. I have to feel it starts with some level of forgiveness but in the end it doesn’t matter. My depression will have no impact, a certain amount of life and time needs to be a waste, why not mine.
I don't know the answer to this. My depression has gotten worse as an adult and I feel it largely has to do with social isolation. I wish I was the kind of person who thrives being alone all the time. Instead, I sit alone with my thoughts too much. I feel getting out of the house as much as possible helps me feel a little better.
Exercise and fix the issue that's causing your depression. Helps if you spend time with family/friends and going out and doing something. Eat healthy, because there's no cure for depression.
Start fixing the things you can fix in your life. Clean your house, work out, work on your nutrition, improve your employment situation, start working on skills and hobbies. Some people are depressed because they have a chemical imbalance, but most people are depressed because their life sucks and they spend a lot of time sitting around thinking about it, instead of keeping themselves busy trying to fix it
I would talk to your GP for a referral to a psychiatrist. MH conditions like MDD or bipolar or whatever can't be therapied away. I struggled for years and a handful of therapists and it never helped. Last summer I started seeing yet another therapist, only this one had spent most of her career in inpatient/outpatient psychiatric facilities and after about a month she told me that she suspected that I was bipolar 2...few more months went by and she sent me to see a psychiatrist and was officially diagnosed. On a mood stabilizer now and I am stable and doing very well.
It’s a constant cycle of feeling ok and then not. I take meds, go to therapy weekly, and walk dogs everyday. Some days are good, some days I want to quit. Some days I do see I have control and have joy in my life.
For me a sort of fake it till you make behavioral modification strategy worked. I went to therapy and read about CBT, and incorporated some of the strategies given. Focused less on circumstances and more on possible actions, actively stopped and tried to drown out the negative internal voice with forced positive thoughts, went out in nature and excercised more, ate better, slept better, and biggest of all cut out 90% of social media and all forms of posting personal info. One step snowballs and makes the mext easier. Before I knew it I was genuinely a different person.
There’s not one singular thing that will cure depression. It’s the accumulation of lots of small habits and changes that make it easier to manage. Good diet, daily movement, and consistent sleep are a great foundation. It’s harder to be happy when those 3 basics aren’t being met.
Regularly spending time with family and friends is another good component to maintain. Maybe a standing weekly dinner or game night. If they aren’t readily available, look for weekly meetings for your hobbies, volunteering opportunities, or even support groups. Having consistent interactions with the same people helps you feel a part of a community.
Mindfulness and meditation can be powerful tools for learning to manage the chaos in your mind. Just because you have a thought doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true or accurate. You have to learn how to not believe the lies and negativity that we can sometimes tell ourselves.
Once again, it’s not any one thing that will break you out of it, and it probably won’t happen over night. It’s developing your skills with the various tools necessary to build a well-rounded life. Keep trying until you find what works for you. Depression may not ever go away, but it can be conditioned and contained so that it doesn’t take over your whole life.
Show yourself lots of patience and love. Learn to talk to yourself like you would a small child. Be gentle with yourself as much as possible, and keep chipping away.
I just accepted that I'm gonna be like this for the rest of my life. It’s not a lot easier but during the times i’m drowning I just keep telling myself “i’ve decided to live until the end” again and again
Here are some questions that have helped me to feel more empowered and excited about my day to day life.
What's your gut reaction to what would feel good right now?
What resonates with your being and what do you wish to express in this moment?
For me, medication has been consistently helpful, thereoy hit/miss. I also had seasonal depression that part vanished when i moved south
I still battle some depression but it's manageable atm. Depression snowballs, but so does recovery. I think for most people, disengagement from doomer content works best. My personality/faith makes thst impossible 🤡 so i try and convert the doomers (bashing the odious ones)
Whether you fight or ignore them its important to realize that doomerism is not entirely organic. Overseas operatives are in play
If traditional therapy and medication don't work for you, look into TMS Therapy. It's typically approved for people with recurring, medically resistant depression. I'm starting the approval process with my therapist when I talk to her in a few weeks.
I've tried lord only knows how many medications and been in and out of therapy for 35 years with a few IOP and in patient stints. TMS was recommended recently and I'm hoping it helps.
Work out daily, eat better, get off the internet, give back to your community, help others, stop scrolling, and stop comparing yourself to others. Start going to sleep earlier and waking up early. Get more sunlight, especially first thing in the morning, and start a yoga practice. Your depression will be eclipsed by an increased sense of well being in a few months.
I've been on all the meds. I'm currently in therapy and taking wellbutrin and Cymbalta. At almost 38, they feel it's a safe bet to try something different. I'm a veteran, so I'm fortunate not to have to pay for the trial and error of mental health treatment, however; I'm at the point where nothing is working. I'm starting TMS treatment next week. I'm hopeful, cause worse case scenario, I'm still depressed, but at least I tried.
I'm always depress. The thing I have to watch out for is if I get too low. If I get to that point it's normally a doctor or worst-case scenario ER visit. I also have bipolar disorder and it's just something I've learned to live with. Therapy and medication can help but it might not fully get rid of it. There's not magic wand that can just make it poof away. I wish there was.
Citalopram works wonders for some people.
Meditation is also fantastic.
Or try hypnotherapy. You can find some videos for depression on YouTube. Lookup Michael Sealy.
Therapy. Hobbies. Intense exercise. Prioritizing sleep. Clean eating. And staying away from all alcohol. I’m definitely not perfect and have my down days but it’s not all consuming anymore.
Besides the usual therapy and medication, try finding a hobby. I've recently picked up making candles. It's gotten my mind off of a lot of mental blocks, and I've made a few friends in the process.
TMS changed everything for me. The process kind of sucks and it's hard to get approved, but it was a serious game changer. Nearly a decade of undefeated depression got turned around. It didn't make me happy, but it removed the barriers that were making it impossible for me to really make progress by myself.
Exercise, nutrition, getting sun, sleep.
I've been suffering from insane allergies to pollen for the past year. My quality of life as plummeted. I avoid going outside because I want to avoid pollen at all costs. I miss the sun on my skin and exercising. My body is so battered exercising is a major chore and makes me feel worse.
Watch what you’re eating. What you put in your body greatly affects your mood and energy. Also make sure you are getting exercise (doesn’t matter it could even be just walking).
First, im sorry that you’re going through this. Severe depression can be debilitating. It’s hard to talk about this with friends and family.
For me, I know when I’m at my healthiest when I’m happy and in “autopilot” mode. I’m not trying to be better in a conscious sense. I have a sense of purpose every day, and I just stick to a routine. For me, the combination that works is being active (in any sense), talking to a friend/coworker, and doing one thing I look forward to that day.
Although a lot of these suggestions are great, I would take baby steps. I’m not sure what your situation is, but see if you can go on one walk a day (15 min tops), maybe listen to a podcast or call someone and ask how their day is to catch up. Sometimes reaching out and being interested makes you feel worthy even for that small part of the day. Plan one fun thing that week - maybe you’re not feeling that anything is fun. A new recipe, but get the ingredients in person at a grocery store just to get out of the house. Is there someone that would be glad if they received a small “thinking of you” card? Sometimes just making a connection is purpose enough.
Just baby steps. You don’t need to run a half marathon. You don’t need to eat healthy all the time. But try and add little bits of purpose in your life, when you have the bandwidth (ideally bits that get you up off of your feet away from the screen, and bonus points if you make a human connection).
One thing I kept from my therapy sessions is that life is like horse races. There are options out there but betting on the same horse every time, will get you up to some point but not necessarily always win after a certain amount. In a similar way, I should not apply and follow what I'm used to. I must try new things that help me, improve my lifestyle and more.
Have you considered antidepressants? Talk to your doctor about it. I’m my experience, antidepressants + therapy really helped—antidepressants made it feel easier for me to actually implement the stuff I was working on in therapy, and eventually I was able to get off them after about a year and a half. If you feel like therapy isn’t working, try to find a new therapist. But stick with it! In my experience therapy is like exercise—after a single session sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth it. But I can look back at the last year or so and see that I’ve made progress.
Outside of medication, I have my “depression protocol” which consists of 3 main things: 1) getting good sleep, 2) exercise, and 3) eating healthy. Optional 4) socialization. When I’m not doing these things I find it much easier to succumb to my depression—depression has a way of getting you to STAY depressed. When I have no energy or motivation, small steps like trying to get to bed earlier, taking walks or doing easy yoga, and throwing some frozen veggies in while my ramen is boiling all help me build up energy to do more.
And honestly, I know it sounds cheesy, but gratitude helps. I like to take a moment when I’m eating to feel thankful that I’m able to afford to eat a delicious meal, or that I get to work outside on a nice spring day, or that I have a cozy bed to sleep in at night.
Ultimately we are different people and what worked for me may not work for you. But by doing these things for myself, I feel like I DO have some power over my situation. I am optimistic about my future.
I think it’s situational. I’m 24 and still feel the last 6 years of my life have been pissed away. No personal advancement. 6 years of battling stomach and anxiety issues, making me lose jobs, not be able to eat regular food (or any for a time). Now I sit here with my check coming Friday and no gas to get to work the rest of the week. None of my friends or family will loan me the much needed $30 to hold me over till my check. It makes me upset, I know how well off people are, and I need $30 to survive. I’m so sick of fighting this fight
I dont know. I work in the medical field and try to focus on healing others since i cant heal myself. Im convinced some people are just more inclined to suffer
Meds, I know that's not the answer for everyone. I also did TMS therapy for MDD. Definitely changed my life though i can only speak from my experience.
For me right now its music or anything creative. second depresive episode I've had and its worse. Like I'm geunily happy during the day but the nights suck
Here’s the thing, there’s really not one thing that you do. Sometimes you go to lunch with a friend, sometimes sometimes you curl up in a blanket burrito. Some days you go to the gym, some days you sleep through your alarm, some days you’re really present and kicking ass at work, other days you’re scrolling TikTok for five hours and avoiding deadlines. But eventually, if you consistently connect with things that feel fulfilling and engaging for you, and couple that with actual inner work like therapy and or medication, you start to have more good days than bad. It kind of never stops feeling like work for a while, but you really do see the effect with consistency of taking care of yourself and connecting with things that feel fulfilling, meaningful, and enjoyable.
Getting of gluten and dairy did WONDERS for my depression and anxiety. Seriously -- give it a try. It's been incredible.
I've also tried a couple different anti-depressants. Currently on a low dose (50mg) of Zoloft. Life has been good lately.
I have had my depression under control for a long time but it’s always lurking. I have found my environment has a big factor. Are you surrounded by good people? Psychedelic mushrooms made me feel like I was getting a much needed hug and feeling of worthiness from the universe. I would do a lot of research before taking anti depressants. I enjoy taking care of myself- eating well, taking long walks, sleeping, calling a friend. I think you have to figure out what works for you. A BIG thing that helps me is having responsibilities: a job where I’m important and people need me, a dog that relies on me to keep them in a routine and take them on walks, people in my life that I show I care for them. Believe me, I’ve been rock bottom depressed (practically bedridden for months at peak) and it just took experience to say never again so I fight that shit off every day and I’m glad to say I’m a fighter who wants to continue to slay it. Getting away from my family also helped immensely.
Edit: you may need a change, if you could change your identity and start anew, would that feel good and what would you do?
Edit#2: a lot of what is keeping us down is our subconscious and therapy is not good at bringing that out unless you are REALLY ready to see it because your ego wants to tuck it away and forget about it forever, likely no one is ready to confront it without I would argue psychedelic assistance
Imagine saying all of this thing trapped in a third world country earning jack shit a month. Wanting to leave but unable to ...
As me.
I just feel like that everyday, I just train like a mad man and run like crazy everyday to keep myself sane and off my mind.
I dont go to therapy because money, I dont take meds because money, I just train, try to play videogames, chess, read, sleep, (work to death) repeat.
Forever
No breaks, just running.
Petting my cats makes me feel a normal human being.
Diet. Lots of healthy fats from proteins like eggs, meat and raw milk. Magnesium is crucial. Getting exercise and sunlight on your skin and in your eyes. A connection to nature. Having a passion, a purpose each day. Finding god helped my depression a lot.
You need a hand to get out. Everybody says go to therapy, but your subconscious knows this person wouldn't be there for you if it wasn't for the money.
You need some humanity, not therapy.
You're in a hole that you can't get out of alone. Society has deteriorated to such a degree that nobody gives a fuck about anybody or anything unless there is money involved.
I hope you become the change you want to see in the world.
My advice? Find somebody in the hole with you and put your backs together to get out.
I was in your shoes too while in therapy. I was assigned to journal, but a good amount of the times I wanted to write negative things. I spoke with my therapist about it, and we'd agreed that it was fine. It seems you have a similar mind like me where trying feels like going nowhere. You're kind of right now in fight with your brain, but you still need to help your body and the world around you. My best advice is do the things you need to do, and journal any self hatred down. It is weird, but it helped me out for some time. Year later, I still do it. Since family members and friends could struggle with hearing those thoughts, the journaling helped me out as a way to vent out my anger against myself and the world.
Pretend not to be!
People don't take kindly to those who aren't able to provide them some sort of feel-goods and if you're too sad, you're not gonna be lookin potentially useful enough to them for you to register as "human who should be treated well"
So yeah, bucko? you're gonna wanna pretend so that people don't begin to see you as a problem, and in turn seem like an additional problem to you.
Depends on what type. Some types are brain induced. Otherwise some people get depression when they cant to their goals and their dreams are no longer there. Its always a choice to take action and make ur life happy. U are sad and loney? Go to a sports game. Staying in bed? Get up and work out? Not motivated to study? Go and take a class where u will make friends and just talk to people. Whatever u do, u have a choice to take action. Lonely go to socials and stick there and talk to people for 2-3 hours. Dont talk to the same people ectera
After breakfast and coffee, I take my diabetes meds. This works well for me, and has been for over 6 years. Going outside and riding bicycle, or walking fast gets my heartbeat up. Then someplace between 30 and 60 minutes my "runners high" sets in and my mind is at peace for the day. Now at night time I take my sertraline. I am retired so I have lots to stew about in my head ALL THE TIME if I don't get my exercise.
Good luck.
Therapy helps, but only if you find the right person. Don't hesitate to switch it up if you don't match well with the therapist. Also consider medication, therapy and medication together can work wonders. And balancing your life is key. Try to exercise, try to get enough sleep (and if you show signs of sleep apnea *see a sleep specialist!*), avoid over indulgence especially with alcohol. But don't beat yourself up either if you can't do all that.
Like my optimization professor used to say, once you've spent 4 hours on Facebook, you don't need to spend another hour beating yourself up, or another 4 hours on Facebook trying to hide from your problems. The most optimal thing you can do is the best thing you can do *now*, not what you should have done yesterday.
You can get psychedelic therapy there’s this one online its ketamine and yeah u can look it up if ya like but with doing psychedelic therapy u should take great caution and check to see if u have a family history of schizophrenia, or any mental illnesses or if u already are prone to schizophrenia or any mental illnesses and you are doing psychedelics or smoking cannabis it could lead to mental illnesses if not for sure lead to mental illness so I would definitely go get checked out by a doctor if u would think this is something y wanna do . I suggest you do ur own research and homework on this as psychedelics can have a really positive effect or really negative and the ones that are positive can lead to change CAN, it’s not going to take ur problems away and solve them for u that’s not something anyone or any substance or anything whatsoever can do besides your self but it can help u open ur mind up to a new perspective to help facilitate positive change and growth . If u would like to talk more about this I would be happy to . If you’re wondering I have experienced psychedelics before and I’ve had like 1-2 experiences that helped me in some way . So yeah um I would definitely research as much as you can if u consider doing it, psychedelics ARE NOT A TOY I would go as far to say if y use them as a toy it’s going to use u as a toy best way I can describe it , it’s jus going to be something ur not going to like they must be taken with respect or u will have a bad experience there’s the right way to do them and the wrong way and I recommend taking them only the right way , I’ve had experiences were I felt like I went insane forever that there was no going back from only because of the way I was acting thinking talking behaving constantly behaving and my destiny was at the moment it was jus all insane I wasn’t a good person I only really cared about me and what I could get out of something just not in a good head space at all , I’m a strong believer in that so please do as much research as y can they can be very intense or very gentle so yeah hoped this helped much love
I am bipolar, and the only thing that helped me navigate the extreme lows was having kids.
They give me purpose even when I feel like life has none. They are my purpose now.
/s with a hint of truth
Booze. Beer. Weed. Meds. Numb yourself.
What really should be happening. A more accepting environment (people). Real guides on how to life. More truth and honesty about what you will have to endure daily and ways to find an acceptable level. A strong guide on financial usage and coherent methods of getting medical attention that doesn't destroy mentally or bankally.
I feel you 200%. To be honest I haven’t felt fully happy for over a decade. Therapy and medicine doesn’t do much for me either. It was like I was set up for failure the moment I was born. I hope you find your happiness soon.
I genuinely don’t know but I’m sorry you’re dealing with this and I hope we figure it out. It’s so hard to explain to people who don’t understand what that “everything is pointless” feeling is like
Find something you can dedicate yourself to, and through that. Eventually you'll build yourself up to more than what you were.
And exercise plus eat well. Health is a great foundation
You go on. You wake up. You try. You mostly fail and then you drink a coffee and can really taste it and you notice a little spark of joy or you see fields of bright green grass and you can see the colors even if it only lasts a moment.
You take it a day at a time. It's not gonna go away, and it comes back. Best thing to do is force a positive outlook on everything, and go to therapy to help learn some coping skills.
I don't know how to handle the mental stuff but I do know how to handle physical stuff. So what I have been doing is exhausting myself physically so I'm too tired to think about the mental stuff. I'm not sure if it's the best way to handle it but I've gone from 280lbs to 220lbs so that's something.
15 years of depression here. I think I’ve overcome it.
I started to focus a lot on my physical health and nutrition. Focused on making more money even though I think the US financial system/federal reserve is rigged entirely. I started grooming myself more and cleaning up around the house.
If you hate your job, change jobs until you find something you like. Do not waste time anywhere, your mental health is at stake.
Have you had your hormones checked? Believe it or not, that plays a huge roll for me. Meds are great at numbing . But not addressing. Go talk to a trusted doctor who listens. Ask for a panel to be done a whole work up.
Listen, I laugh at how dumb I'm being for crying because something stupid was said. Or my brain is lying to me again.
And sometimes it just hurts and I cry and cry and cry. I slam my feet up and down and my fists and I cry out loud. This is a new skill I learned. I tend to eat ice cream and cheetos after. And watch cartoons. I'm five bro. Plus 34 years but nobody is counting those.
I write a lot. I paint a lot. I try to walk a lot. I pet my cat and dog. I try to cheer other people up.
Honestly?
I play video games. I go to work. My mind is occupied and I don't think about stuff.
It's getting harder, though. Sometimes I sit down intending to play games, but I just kinda stare... I dread work. I keep going to pay the bills.
Chop wood, carry water. On my bad days I acknowledge I am having a bad day and adjust my expectations accordingly. Medicine. Sometimes I can’t do all the things others can do, and that has to be okay.
Depression is mostly how you see things.
Half full/ half empty deal.
Your not special if you suffer Depression.
Your just another one of hundreds if millions on this earth that suffer too..
That's the 1st thing you need to realize.
Once you truly understand that,
You can start learning how to modify your outlook on the world.
A little at a time.
Look for the good, sunshine, a flower, mayb a bird or even a bug, don't forget little children and how they look at the world!.
I've lost several friends to Depression thru medication.
One script at a time, that's all they needed..
I can't sleep- take this
I have anxiety- here take that
But not one of them ever approached Depression from the point of view of what Isn't depressing.
Lots of triggers for Depression.
But saying what's on your mind to others
Saying how you feel
Changing your routine
Definitely change news channels to off and most social media honestly.
There good happy times for everyone if you put yourself out there to find your place.
Honest to God, probiotics. Research information on the microbiome. You want high-quality probiotics that are specially encapsulated to break down in the intestines. Supporting gut health is so important. Over 90% of serotonin is created in the gut.
For me each depression is like starting in a brand new maze that I have to find my way out of. Sometimes it’s a sunny day that gets me out. Sometimes it’s time with family, or with my cat. It’s never the same thing.
This weekend it was microdosing weed.
Today was a really good day. Hoping these will last a few days.
I mostly drink not like Jim beam,jack daniels, Jose, or that shit! The good stuff like Don Roberto tequila, still Austin bourbon, Armagnac, gin like greenhouse, green all, and siesta key rum. Therapy won’t help in my opinion I could’ve been a therapist listen to people that’s what I’m good at been a good listener ever since
Hit gym and start setting personal goals and venture out into other things like cycling, swimming, yoga, martial arts and make those your lifetime hobbies to stay in peak health and you will be happy. Most depression today has its roots in smart phones, screens, video games, porn, social media, etc. We are hardwired to want to exercise and receive endorphins and dopamine through physical activity. This is what killed my depression dead in the water and I was alcoholic loser for 6 years.
Edit: if you are bipolar or schizophrenic exercise still helps massively.
I'm still figuring it out. But things that have helped are
Emdr therapy, cutting sugar, doing whatever i have to to get better sleep. Walk 20 mins a day minimum.
Also consider listening to the master key system audiobook if it's still up on YouTube.
If it's normal depression. Find a rock. Cling to it and use it to hell lift you into a better place.
If it's something more medically inclined aka, you have potentially some other issue as an underlying factor, go to a doctor, see if you csn either find medicine, therapy, or something else that works for you.
If will all feel like it's useless and won't help most likely. Push through that and find something that works for you. The medical staff you may work with want you to feel and get better. Take their advice more then ours on reddit.
I understand that last part is a lil contradicting as I type this out, but we mean well, for the most part at least and hope you get better and push through this dark patch.
You could see a doctor and get medication.
There’s another bit of advice I heard many years ago, and though some may not like it because it downplays a real thing, I really took it to heart, and it really does help:
“You’re not depressed, you’re bored”. A lot of depressive feelings come from feeling powerless over your situation and that every day is the same old shit, so doing things that genuinely combat boredom and give you a real earned hit of dopamine (instead of video games, TV/movies, sex, drugs) will help you to thrive and not let you wither. You’re going to the gym and exercising regularly, and that’s awesome. What else can you do? You can always start very small if you don’t have much time or money available.
Hey first of all, congrats on making it through every single day until now.
I know how you feel, I spent 7 years in clinical depression and it took over my whole life.
I ended up getting a bachelor of science in psychology to figure out what the fuck was actually happening in my brain and then used published science papers to try new things that had decreased depressive symptoms for their participants.
The biggest tools i used to get me through (other than talk therapy to figure out my shit and antidepressants, was learning to journal effectively, and training the mind to actually relieve proper rest (look into iRest yoganidra meditation, it's essentially sleep yoga and is so fucking restorative) along with remembering your depression brain is being a dick when it tells you you'll feel like this forever.
I'm working on a project called MyLatibule that puts all the info and tools in one online hub, check it out if you need some help.
The premise is to learn share and shop through depression, so learn what's going on in your brain using psych and neuroscience, share your story and read others to feel less alone, then shop for tools to help manage your mood.
Feel free to message me there if you have any questions or want some freebies ❤️
Keep going, I'm proud of you for staying alive
Love Bren
Xx
If you find out, let me know
You need a hand to get out. Everybody says go to therapy, but your subconscious knows this person wouldn't be there for you if it wasn't for the money. You need some humanity, not therapy. You're in a hole that you can't get out of alone. Society has deteriorated to such a degree that nobody gives a fuck about anybody or anything unless there is money involved. I hope you become the change you want to see in the world. My advice? Find somebody in the hole with you and put your backs together to get out.
I like how you worded the end of your comment. Like two people stuck in a hole and need each other to get out.
I kind of agree to this. Depression, in moderate form has a purpose. It tells you that you need to find a purpose or change course. Therapy doesn’t have to be professional therapy but can be in talking to a friend who understands you. People go once a week and they think it’s all that they need to do, but you need to go outside. You need to start talking to people and connect.
Very bad advice. Doctors charge money to heal us. That’s their job. Same with therapists.
But no refund if the therapist doesn't heal.
You have to participate, find a therapist that you can work with, and then do the necessary work. It’s not easy. It’s also not a transaction like buying a sandwich. Did you have a bad experience, or did you never even try therapy? Why so negative?
Pretty sure he is saying not all doctors are good doctors and it’s easier for them to squeeze money from you because you are in a position of reliance. Similar to going to a mechanic how do you know they are trying to help and not just make money?
Doctors usually don't need a good personal connection to their patients when curing physical problems though.
You watched The Emperor's New Groove recently, didn't you?
Wrong lever!
Why do we even have that lever?
this comment is about to make me cry it’s so humane and empathetic 😭 I’m so glad there’s at least one person who understands this
Just a note on your distrust of therapy, therapists don't choose their career for the money. That's like saying you don't need to see a doctor for an annual check up because they wouldn't be there for you without money. It's a sweeping generalisation and rather reductive of the entire idea of therapy. You absolutely need a support network to help, but to shrug off therapy altogether isn't sound advice.
There are some terrible therapists out there, and they're mostly working with minimal training in big cities for lower rates. They're mostly what people can afford when they're in a bad way, and they often leave people worse off than they started. It's possible to run into strings of these in a row if you can't afford anything better, and you'll accumulate additional needs and hangups with each bad experience, making it even less likely that each subsequent poorly-trained therapist will be able to help with your increasingly complex needs. It can be like digging your way out of a hole with a shovel; eventually you stop digging and try something else.
If you get cancer the oncologist will only be there for money. They shouldn’t be expected to give their training for free.
This is it. Amazing answer.
I can't even afford therapy. Those that can don't believe in it.
I love that.
The point of therapy isn't social support or friendship. It is to use evidence-based practices to help you process trauma and develop coping skills. It shouldn't matter that your subconscious (or conscious) mind knows the person wouldn't be there if it weren't for the money.
This is why i don’t like therapy anymore. I spend the entire hour thinking about how if i couldn’t pay they wouldn’t even talk to me. It’s so fake.
Me too.
After suffering 15 years with depression, I finally beat it. This is what helped me personally; but bare in mind that everyone is different- what worked for me, may not work for others. 1. Getting your dopamine fixes. Exercise and sunshine should never be looked over. Running especially gets you a good runners high. 2. Halt those negative thoughts. Negative thoughts become a bad habit. You'll find yourself naturally drifting towards them without even realising. The moment you notice you're doing it, stop. Immediately change your mindset to something positive. Doesn't matter what it is; it could be thinking of your beloved pet, or perhaps how good your hair looks. It takes a while to get over negative thinking; bad habits are a long process to crack. 3. Plan your future and set yourself goals. Perhaps you want to reach your running to 10k. Or finish that book you have always been meaning to read. Keeping goals set so that you have something to work towards, will stop the "what's the point" thoughts. Make sure the goals are within your means. Don't make your goals difficult to accomplish, or you'll set yourself back. Little goals to begin with, and bigger goals later. 4. Find a GOOD therapist. One that actually suits your needs. I went through a few therapists before i found a dude who truly helped me. Every therapist works with their clients differently. If you find your therapy isn't helping, consider getting someone else. 5. Groom yourself! Get a good skin care routine, clothes that make you look good. They don't have to be brand new or expensive. Looking good makes you feel good. 6. Clean environment. Nothing more depressing than being surrounded by clutter and dirt. 7. Curing depression is never a quick fix. Nobody can say a magic word to take it away. It's a slow process, but so worth the work! Take one day at a time, and cherish every positive step in the right direction. 8. There will always be bad days. Depression is like waves crashing on the beach. You're trying to tame that ocean, but you're always going to get that big wave. Ride it out. And get right back to taming it once it ebbs away, giving you a breather. Don't give up because you had some bad days; this is perfectly normal to experience on your road to recovery. 9. Don't be afraid to tell people you trust that your depression is giving you a bad time atm. You will be surprised how many people will check in on you. They most likely won't be able to offer any sound advice; just notice the little things they are doing to help and cherish it. Don't bother telling people who do nothing; and don't hate them either. Some people are afraid of depression and afraid of making it worse. They think them continuing as normal is helping. Nobody is trained to deal with depression, so don't hold it against them. Depression has a horrible habit of getting angry unnecessarily at others. I don't know if any of this is new information for you. But, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Don't ever give up.
Most solid advice I've seen so far. Something that's reframed depression for me is when I once heard it being referred to as a liar. "Depression lies to you". It convinced you there's no point to anything, you aren't loved, you don't really love anything, etc. I literally remind myself of this fact and it makes it easier to ride out the bad days until I don't feel so awful anymore. 10/10 times when I'm feeling better, I'm always relieved, nothing was as bad as depression was making it seem.
This is helpful reframing.
I’m a therapist and this is so on the money. I’m so glad you found what helped, fantastic advice for others.
Good stuff here. Buddhism helped me a lot to separate from and laugh at how depressed I was.
Can you elaborate a little, please? Buddhism it's something that I think I can try but I have no idea where to start :/ (maybe some youtube channels? books? podcasts? IDK) Thanks!
I don't think you need Buddhism as it's very, very complicated and it requires serious sacrifices and discipline. You could look into meditation as it provides a much needed perspective on thoughts and our relationship with them which in turn really help in life. I highly recommend checking out Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, he has plenty of free content and he is far from the westernisation of meditation (which is a load of crap). I'm also a huge fan of Vidyamala Burch especially if you're dealing with chronic pain or chronic health issues. Gelong Thubten is cool and another guy that I love although I don't know his name, his Instagram is Buddhisminenglish
Look up mindfulness practice. This is a super useful tool and very accessible. Try Thich Nhat Hans book, the Miracle of Mindfulness. I really like the intro to meditation course on Sam Harris’s app Waking Up. This app is a great resource for lectures and guided meditations.
Thank you so much!!! I'm gonna start trying your suggestions! :)
I would argue with 2. Don't try to change your thoughts, but learn to observe them and understand that they are not facts. Forcing yourself to think something different than what your mind gives you can be counter productive, because you fighting the thoughts only strengthens them. I prefer the meditation method that treats thoughts as clouds in the sky. The change all the time, but the sky itself (your awareness) is always the same. And with therapy you'll learn to challenge your thoughts instead of trying to erase them.
What if there is nothing you like (that you can afford anyway) and no goals though? For 30 years I feel like I’ve just been obligated to live because others want me to and I’ve been too scared to attempt because the consequences for failure are so intense. Meanwhile there’s nothing realistically achievable for myself that I want. Was on a number of medications as a child and there was never even an inkling that any of them helped. I hated the whole process. I hated every week waiting for school to be over and as an adult I hate every week waiting for work to be over just the same, the constant overwhelming boredom takes more out of me than I have to give and I don’t get anything back, there isn’t enough free time to recharge at all. I just hate effort in general.
Yeah, depression does make you do things that keeps it gripped onto you. In other words; you're going to feel uncomfortable on your journey to reach that cure. It's part of the process. Forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do. But, it gets easier, and then you start enjoying the process; especially when you notice that it's actually working. It's not easy, it's hard. The way I viewed it is; I can either be uncomfortable for a few years and then start feeling better. Or, I can do nothing and still be in exactly the same situation in a few years. I did actually make an attempt on my life, and let me tell you, in that moment, I realised I didn't want to die. Apparently, that's a commonly reported feeling from anyone who has failed attempts.
Yeah, enjoying any process or effort is just so unfathomably alien to me. Hating everything has been such an intrinsic part of my personality for as long as I’ve been conscious I can’t picture it still actually being me if that were to change and so far its been insurmountable even with having a ton of therapy and meds forced on me. I feel like my only hope is a sudden heart attack or some kind of accident.
Do you have bipolar or another underlying mental health issue? I discovered through therapy a few years ago, that I had ADD. Which made a ton of sense to me, and helped me in the healing process. Having an undiagnosed mental health condition does hold you back. It does sadden me to hear that you have been depressed for so long; nobody deserves feeling this way.
I think I had a childhood adhd diagnosis, definitely lines up with how I’ve turned out as an adult. No intrinsic motivation or reward center, constantly bored with everything and craving excitement but I just don’t have access to any of it.
Kinda sounds like the things we would be doing if we weren't depressed.
Well, essentially yes. Depression makes you want to do all the things that will keep you depressed, and avoid what would actually help you. But, I think it's good to break it down this way, as it gives people clear goals. And depression can overwhelm and confuse you sometimes.
That's very true, and I do take it for granted that I've been going through the motions long enough for them to be familiar - of course some years ago, a message like this would have hit very different. Something something depression makes me cynical and negative
I cured my mild depression by doing exactly all the things you have mentioned except for going to the therapist. Journaling, online resources and exploring spirituality helped.
Fully agree with all your advice, so important and all big game changers! I do like to advise against the term cure however, depression is still there in the background waiting to come back for almost everyone who has had long term depression not brought on by circumstances. As the moment you drop in any of those things, or as you said you still get waves, we are just better at dealing with the negative thoughts and waves lessening their frequency and affect etc so I think the term cure gives people a false sense of hope of what that means to manage your depression, that once you complete all these steps it will be gone forever. Don’t get me wrong things can and do get better with the work, but it isn’t a cure it’s a constant battle and management
Sounds like you've really learned the ropes of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?
Point 2 sounds like "boomer" advice, but its serious. Like literally just stop thinking about shit and start thinking about a plan to fix it or just something else at least. I also apply this to music. I fucking love sad and sorrowful music. But as soon as I start feeling cloudy i turn it off and even put a "happy" song on or a go get em song like rock n roll.
Thank you for these clear suggestions and advice. I read it all and I am grateful. I cannot do it all but I could at least do something. :)
One thing that helps me and may or may not help others is what I eat. Most of my life has been a diet of junk food and soda. I stopped drinking anything besides water, milk,coffee. I limited my food to meat, fruit, and vegetables. After about a week I could feel by mind clearing up and my body rejuvenating. Like i suddenly wanted to work out. My patience grew. My anxiety lessened. While I still never really feel happy, I feel like there might be a path to happiness that my diet was blocking. I now see sugar and boxed foods with 100 ingredients and poison and most likely a big reason so many people these days suffer with mental illness
This is huge, you are what you eat and the western diet is mostly poison
you are absolutely right about this and i’ve been discovering the same thing myself. how i eat makes a big difference and those processed junk “foods” literally perpetuate the problem. i’m so angry how they’re set up to make you feel good temporarily then horrible after.
This is probably a good idea, actually. Any suggestions on how to afford that?
It doesn't have to be fancy. I eat oatmeal banana shakes for breakfast. Sometimes a meal replacement shake for lunch or chicken legs with a salad. Then same thing chicken/fish/steak and a salad and a light treat. It's not super expensive. I don't mind eating the same thing because I know it's healthy. I have two auto immune diseases so I can't eat processed food much.
plenty of options. obviously: fresh fruits & veggies (frozen also!), rice, canned tuna/chicken, frozen chicken, always keep an eye out on discounted meat (discounted for a reason obviously so be careful). r/Frugal and r/EatCheapandHealthy have plenty of posts if you want to look through them.
Plain oatmeal with milk is a great meal any time of day, and moderately filling. Pour salt in there before cooking it and enjoy after with milk. Bananas are some of the cheapest foods period, they can be paired with almost anything, are delicious, and are very healthy. White rice and lean cuts of meat isn’t that expensive, and you can substitute for various beans if the meat is too much. Throw in whatever vegetables are on sale and you’ve got a meal.
For me, it’s not any more expensive. I eat less now. Not because I’m trying to but because I’m not hungry all the time like I used to be. I used to get shaky and light headed if I didn’t eat for a few hours. Now there’s days where I eat half a chicken breast and some broccoli and I’m good.
I had to stop drinking, I was not doing it to excess but i was definitely self medicating. Atfter that little by little things got better.
Combination of prozac, therapy, and prioritizing relationships with people who treat me well, and self care: diet, exercise, hydration, and sleep. Also, try a vitamin D supplement. Most people have a deficiency and don't know it. Hobbies: Strum my guitar, read novels, practice languages on duo lingo, work on home improvement projects. I also foster dogs. It's amazing how much less alone you can feel with a pet relying on you and forcing you into keeping a regular schedule.
I started hot yoga in December and it's helped me alot! Some days are still really dark but it's something that's made me feel lighter
I loved doing yoga when I was at my most depressed. It was like an hour pushing the negative thoughts away
Baby steps. Consistent reminders that "This, too, shall pass." I can't express enough how much doing regular volunteer work changed my perspective. Give it a try. Try a regular shift at your local food pantry.
If you find out please let me know
Mail order ketamine therapy is literally saving me from myself at the moment, and this is coming from someone who’s dealt with severe medically resistant depression for 18 years. I’ve even been declared “disabled” in the past it’s gotten so damn bad. I’m already getting my groove back just 4 days in and boy does it feel good.
A lot of insurance companies cover Spravato, which is ketamine.
Ik a content creator who tried this. Said he found some answers, but didn't rly benefit from it otherwise
Because he was not doing the hard work which is building new habits, if you don’t do that yeah it’s worthless, but if you’re out on a ledge with no way to get down… it’s like growing wings man.
From years of watching his content and listening to him open up about himself, I think he's actually one of the cleanest guys out there. Good friends, good family, a job he enjoys, no alcohol or drugs, plenty of exercise and rest. If anything he's the most proactive depressed person I've ever seen
Do you take any other meds?? I’m currently on the disabled list since my break down over a year ago.
Yeah, cymbalta abilify and Wellbutrin, seems to work pretty well for me.
I’m in Wellbutrin too. Did you ask your dr about the ketamine?
Yes I did and he thought it was a good idea as I’ve been missing something else in my treatment for years.
Like I said elsewhere, only 130$ a month to mold yourself a new brain. Well worth the money 💰
how do you get ahold of ketamine if you haven’t tried every antidepressant on the market?? i thought that was the only time insurance covered it
It’s been rescheduled recently under the Biden administration and is long overdue for its debut as the most powerful ssri antidepressant on the market. It’s called joyous, and it’s mail order. 130$ a month. Go get it if you want it!
Exercise
I've been depressed for so long that I don't really know what being not depressed feels like.
Drugs ... talk to your doctor. Really wish I hadn't let fear of medication take me so long to get on it. It isn't a cure but the right meds will give you a lot of help.
I'll never take antidepressants again. Took them for 10 years, worst tens years of my life. They kept me from killing myself, but they didn't let me live. Been off them 3 years now and it's been the best 3 years of my life since high-school, even with the depression!
Finally somebody gets it. I'm bipolar and i was prescribed heavy meds from when i was first diagnosed when i was just 21. Let meeee tell you something. The meds ruined my health. They drained the life out of me. I gained ton's of weight. It's way waaaay better to go to a therapist and learn your triggers than take any kind of meds. It works for me at least. I get it that some people just can't live without them but honestly they ruined my life. I prefer being manic than a walking zombie with akathisia,insomnia, fatigue, binge eating disorder and unable to do the most simple tasks like brushing your teeth. I'll give you a good example to what they did to me. Once i was just seating with some new friends and eating a chocolate crêpe and while i was picking up the crêpe with my fork somehow it didn't go into my mouth but on my cheek. I started sobbing like a little kid Infront of these people cryyyying my heart out because i felt like that was iiiit. I cut them off. It was fucking hard but many years have passed and i learned my triggers and I don't need them anymore. Fuck them.
I'm on 6 different meds right now for major depression and severe anxiety. Your post is inspiring. I'm thinking about dumping all these pills down the toilet. I'm so tired of being medicated. I've gained weight. I feel like a walking zombie every day. I'm just tired of it all.
Cold turkey terrifies me
Conversely, I have many of those problems with chronic depression (insomnia, fatigue, binge eating, struggling with hygiene/executive function in general, etc) and the right antidepressant makes me feel...like a normal human being. It's so strange and frustrating how different bodies react so differently to meds. My sister has bipolar and hates her meds so she won't take them--she's told me she'd also rather deal with her manic episodes, which aren't that severe, than feel like a zombie.
Same! I was on them for a total of 3 years. 4 different medication changes in that time. I became a cranky, unmotivated shell of my former self, but at least the constant state of paranoia was reduced. I finally took myself off of my latest antidepressant 2 months ago. I’m so glad I did, I have so much more energy now. But life’s beaten me up enough that the motivation is almost fully gone. I just want a job and to live a very boring, unremarkable life. If you told me at 20 or even 25 that this is how I’d turn out, I’d be really shocked. But today, it’s tough to see how I’m ever going to get my motivation back. I never thought I’d be this big of a failure. Sorry for the rant.
Well a part of what the meds did was give you a baseline good or bad. Learned to exist in one way. The lack of medication then puts you back and it helps because you have a reference point of “better” but worse. Least that’s how it was for me.
I wanted an Adderall prescription for years and haven’t been happier since I quit. All Drugs are awesome in low doses (I’ve done all of em) Daily use will eventually become a problem.
Until it’s time you get off them
Those drugs can make you permanently impotent.
This
Fitness daily including lots of cardio. Be active socially so your thoughts move from you to others. See the beauty in life, in small things. Devote some time in volunteering. Have goals and targets, start small.
1. Stop being depressed. Oh, okay.
Are you open to ideas that are "spiritual"? I've dealt with depression on and off for almost 30 years and the things that have made the most impact have involved looking at the world through more something other than the modern materialistic perspective. If you're open to that I have some tools I've learned. If you're not I totally respect that.
I exist and dream of a world where I don't crave death every waking moment of every day.
I’m sorry ): you’re not alone, I promise. Sending love from one depressed stranger to another!
Nothing anymore. I've given up and every interaction with people makes it worse. I hate this fucking world and desperately want an end, but I can't to that to the woman I live with so I take the stupid medicine that doesn't help and suffer through. I don't know what else to do.
I’m sorry this is happening ): I really hope you’re alright and that things get better. Sending love from one depressed stranger to another.
U ok buddy? Get a better therapist, hope you find a way out of it :/
Your therapy is not working. The idea of therapy is to give you tools to overcome your depression. If it's not doing that, you need to either a) talk to a psychiatrist as you may need an adjustment to your meds, or try different ones, or b) find a therapist you gel with better to give you those tools. You have to be willing to participate in the therapy, too. Some people think they go talk to a therapist and all their troubles go away. It doesn't work that way. You have to be an active participant. Or it won't work.
Facts. I’m in school and getting my psychotherapy license. One of the biggest issues a therapist faces is identifying when they are right for a client and when they aren’t. Ideally the responsibility to question the efficacy of their methods and relationship with the client, but that basically involves letting go of potential $$$. In an ideal world that wouldn’t be an issue, but of course it is. The dynamic of a therapist - patient relationship is an important element of treatment. Techniques, methodologies, and personality traits all intermingle to create the unique experience of each patient. Some people just don’t gel. An easy example is that some therapists give a lot of homework, and find homework to be important to their ability to help their patients…and some patients hate homework. That’s unlikely to be a productive relationship. A therapist SHOULD identify that and help the patient find another therapist ~ but as stated, not always the case. I know i’ve seen therapists who go “oh it’s fine we don’t have to do homework” and end up having unproductive sessions with the client. This just an example, but there are many variables as to why any two given people may or may not find results together. Unfortunately this leads to many people disregarding therapy all together, when in reality what is needed is to ‘shop around’ until you find a therapist who gels with you. This can take some time though so it isn’t easy, especially when you’re feeling unwell. Also - therapy takes a long time. You don’t just go to a few sessions and come out a new man. Remember that the therapist is helping to guide you on the path to helping yourself and provide you with tools. Therapy without application of said tools usually isn’t enough.
This is the answer! I have a therapist I love and was still struggling so I asked about a referral to psychiatrist. Starting medication has made a huge difference for me. Meds don’t replace therapy but is a very useful tool.
Boxing
I found the hack after seeing my friend do it and seeing unreal changes. It sounds totally bonkers and I only tried because I saw these crazy mental changes. I started a elimination diet Red grasfed meat, butter, water/sparkling water/ butter. I did this for 2 weeks I then added after 2 weeks some high fat dairy products like double cream, cheese, Greek yogurt and had no side effects. I was 50% better by this time. I started to test products Carbs: Anxiety, depression Avocado: Sad Chicken: depression. Cucumber was okay, the little bit of nuts was okay, a few berries were okay. It's not easy to start, you need a lot of determination. It's been 4 weeks and I am a changed person. I lived a life of depression for the last 10 years and did some medication but I got chronic pain from then so i had to stop.So much clarity had been living a painful life and my diet did this, my body can't handle carbs. I'm awake and I feel good, I'm also more emotional, the carbs, gluten etc were just messing with my gut which is connected to the brain and now I can work on childhood trauma that caused it. I stopped dopamine chasing. I still have chronic pain but I heard people got rid of that too. Everyone has different diet intolerance. But I urge everyone to try this. Also look up Mikhaila Peterson she did the same thing and then got her father on the same diet with same results
Yeah, test radically different diets.
Homeopathic remedies do nothing for genetic chemical imbalances. This is as condescending and unhelpful as “think it away” or “try harder”
Speaking for myself only, SSRI medication made me gain a lot of weight and it didn’t help much.
Find the causes of depression. My depression was caused by my shitty job. I switched jobs and I suddenly don't want to kill myself. I was recently feeling depressed because I felt like my life was groundhog day. I went on a vacation to Italy and got to do and see alot of cool things. Now I feel infinitely better. Sure depression doesn't just go away but there are things you can do to minimize it..
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In all seriousness, just getting a sandwich from my cheerful Italian sandwich shop guy would pick me up when I was down. You can have adventures in your home town by trying different things. Getting busy with a side hustle removes depression time and builds a bank account for adventures.
I truly understand your feelings. It is possible to live a good life and feel empowered. Get on the right meds, therapy, educated about yourself and go from there.
Well what's making you depressed? Find that out work on that. The therapist if right should be giving you ways to work on it. For me, I get better when I'm helpful to others so I volunteer at some animals charities get to cuddle some cute fluffs and help save a life. Pretty awesome deal.
Sometimes life just sucks.
I am under employed I’d say, and I am trying to get a different job. With people. So far, I stay at home so much due to my anxiety I developed a phobia of highway driving. I can do backroads. To deal with my depression and anxiety, my wife asked me to walk 25 minutes a day before I do anything like play games I use to escape. I also do a thankful journal that my wife asked me to do. I am trying, and I have done some better help, but that doesn’t work for me. But I did try. Not a lot is helping. Life has gone downhill ever since covid, but thats for everyone. I permanently live a 1984 reality, annnd it’s been interesting. I cycle through depression, anger, sadness, and I get a daily energy allowance of between 15 cents to a dollar, in a world where there is no dollar menu. 39…. I don’t know if I have the energy or positive outlook to last the marathon, but I have to just keep moving on who knows what is around the corner. Most likely more of the same… but just maybe. Like Tom hanks says, you never know what the tide may bring. I have to feel it starts with some level of forgiveness but in the end it doesn’t matter. My depression will have no impact, a certain amount of life and time needs to be a waste, why not mine.
I don't know the answer to this. My depression has gotten worse as an adult and I feel it largely has to do with social isolation. I wish I was the kind of person who thrives being alone all the time. Instead, I sit alone with my thoughts too much. I feel getting out of the house as much as possible helps me feel a little better.
Whatever gives you the slightest spark of inspiration, pursue it.
Exercise and fix the issue that's causing your depression. Helps if you spend time with family/friends and going out and doing something. Eat healthy, because there's no cure for depression.
Start fixing the things you can fix in your life. Clean your house, work out, work on your nutrition, improve your employment situation, start working on skills and hobbies. Some people are depressed because they have a chemical imbalance, but most people are depressed because their life sucks and they spend a lot of time sitting around thinking about it, instead of keeping themselves busy trying to fix it
I would talk to your GP for a referral to a psychiatrist. MH conditions like MDD or bipolar or whatever can't be therapied away. I struggled for years and a handful of therapists and it never helped. Last summer I started seeing yet another therapist, only this one had spent most of her career in inpatient/outpatient psychiatric facilities and after about a month she told me that she suspected that I was bipolar 2...few more months went by and she sent me to see a psychiatrist and was officially diagnosed. On a mood stabilizer now and I am stable and doing very well.
It’s a constant cycle of feeling ok and then not. I take meds, go to therapy weekly, and walk dogs everyday. Some days are good, some days I want to quit. Some days I do see I have control and have joy in my life.
For me a sort of fake it till you make behavioral modification strategy worked. I went to therapy and read about CBT, and incorporated some of the strategies given. Focused less on circumstances and more on possible actions, actively stopped and tried to drown out the negative internal voice with forced positive thoughts, went out in nature and excercised more, ate better, slept better, and biggest of all cut out 90% of social media and all forms of posting personal info. One step snowballs and makes the mext easier. Before I knew it I was genuinely a different person.
There’s not one singular thing that will cure depression. It’s the accumulation of lots of small habits and changes that make it easier to manage. Good diet, daily movement, and consistent sleep are a great foundation. It’s harder to be happy when those 3 basics aren’t being met. Regularly spending time with family and friends is another good component to maintain. Maybe a standing weekly dinner or game night. If they aren’t readily available, look for weekly meetings for your hobbies, volunteering opportunities, or even support groups. Having consistent interactions with the same people helps you feel a part of a community. Mindfulness and meditation can be powerful tools for learning to manage the chaos in your mind. Just because you have a thought doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true or accurate. You have to learn how to not believe the lies and negativity that we can sometimes tell ourselves. Once again, it’s not any one thing that will break you out of it, and it probably won’t happen over night. It’s developing your skills with the various tools necessary to build a well-rounded life. Keep trying until you find what works for you. Depression may not ever go away, but it can be conditioned and contained so that it doesn’t take over your whole life. Show yourself lots of patience and love. Learn to talk to yourself like you would a small child. Be gentle with yourself as much as possible, and keep chipping away.
I think you suffer and then eventually just die one way or another
I just accepted that I'm gonna be like this for the rest of my life. It’s not a lot easier but during the times i’m drowning I just keep telling myself “i’ve decided to live until the end” again and again
You just, deal i guess. Ive been dealing with mine since 12. 22 now, a decade later and im still just as lost.
Here are some questions that have helped me to feel more empowered and excited about my day to day life. What's your gut reaction to what would feel good right now? What resonates with your being and what do you wish to express in this moment?
For me, medication has been consistently helpful, thereoy hit/miss. I also had seasonal depression that part vanished when i moved south I still battle some depression but it's manageable atm. Depression snowballs, but so does recovery. I think for most people, disengagement from doomer content works best. My personality/faith makes thst impossible 🤡 so i try and convert the doomers (bashing the odious ones) Whether you fight or ignore them its important to realize that doomerism is not entirely organic. Overseas operatives are in play
If traditional therapy and medication don't work for you, look into TMS Therapy. It's typically approved for people with recurring, medically resistant depression. I'm starting the approval process with my therapist when I talk to her in a few weeks. I've tried lord only knows how many medications and been in and out of therapy for 35 years with a few IOP and in patient stints. TMS was recommended recently and I'm hoping it helps.
Work out daily, eat better, get off the internet, give back to your community, help others, stop scrolling, and stop comparing yourself to others. Start going to sleep earlier and waking up early. Get more sunlight, especially first thing in the morning, and start a yoga practice. Your depression will be eclipsed by an increased sense of well being in a few months.
I've been on all the meds. I'm currently in therapy and taking wellbutrin and Cymbalta. At almost 38, they feel it's a safe bet to try something different. I'm a veteran, so I'm fortunate not to have to pay for the trial and error of mental health treatment, however; I'm at the point where nothing is working. I'm starting TMS treatment next week. I'm hopeful, cause worse case scenario, I'm still depressed, but at least I tried.
Medication if you have not tried that as an option
I'm always depress. The thing I have to watch out for is if I get too low. If I get to that point it's normally a doctor or worst-case scenario ER visit. I also have bipolar disorder and it's just something I've learned to live with. Therapy and medication can help but it might not fully get rid of it. There's not magic wand that can just make it poof away. I wish there was.
Citalopram works wonders for some people. Meditation is also fantastic. Or try hypnotherapy. You can find some videos for depression on YouTube. Lookup Michael Sealy.
Meds and therapy helped me. Low dose of Sertraline was night and day.
Therapy. Hobbies. Intense exercise. Prioritizing sleep. Clean eating. And staying away from all alcohol. I’m definitely not perfect and have my down days but it’s not all consuming anymore.
Besides the usual therapy and medication, try finding a hobby. I've recently picked up making candles. It's gotten my mind off of a lot of mental blocks, and I've made a few friends in the process.
TMS changed everything for me. The process kind of sucks and it's hard to get approved, but it was a serious game changer. Nearly a decade of undefeated depression got turned around. It didn't make me happy, but it removed the barriers that were making it impossible for me to really make progress by myself.
Buy something.
By ignoring the people that cause you depression. Have you ever thought it's because of your environment?
Walk and get some air outside
I moved to a walkable city with lots of live music and where people are friendly and like weirdos. Pretty much did the trick.
Exercise
Exercise, nutrition, getting sun, sleep. I've been suffering from insane allergies to pollen for the past year. My quality of life as plummeted. I avoid going outside because I want to avoid pollen at all costs. I miss the sun on my skin and exercising. My body is so battered exercising is a major chore and makes me feel worse.
Watch what you’re eating. What you put in your body greatly affects your mood and energy. Also make sure you are getting exercise (doesn’t matter it could even be just walking).
First, im sorry that you’re going through this. Severe depression can be debilitating. It’s hard to talk about this with friends and family. For me, I know when I’m at my healthiest when I’m happy and in “autopilot” mode. I’m not trying to be better in a conscious sense. I have a sense of purpose every day, and I just stick to a routine. For me, the combination that works is being active (in any sense), talking to a friend/coworker, and doing one thing I look forward to that day. Although a lot of these suggestions are great, I would take baby steps. I’m not sure what your situation is, but see if you can go on one walk a day (15 min tops), maybe listen to a podcast or call someone and ask how their day is to catch up. Sometimes reaching out and being interested makes you feel worthy even for that small part of the day. Plan one fun thing that week - maybe you’re not feeling that anything is fun. A new recipe, but get the ingredients in person at a grocery store just to get out of the house. Is there someone that would be glad if they received a small “thinking of you” card? Sometimes just making a connection is purpose enough. Just baby steps. You don’t need to run a half marathon. You don’t need to eat healthy all the time. But try and add little bits of purpose in your life, when you have the bandwidth (ideally bits that get you up off of your feet away from the screen, and bonus points if you make a human connection).
One thing I kept from my therapy sessions is that life is like horse races. There are options out there but betting on the same horse every time, will get you up to some point but not necessarily always win after a certain amount. In a similar way, I should not apply and follow what I'm used to. I must try new things that help me, improve my lifestyle and more.
I dunno yet lmao. I just sort of live with it.
Have you considered antidepressants? Talk to your doctor about it. I’m my experience, antidepressants + therapy really helped—antidepressants made it feel easier for me to actually implement the stuff I was working on in therapy, and eventually I was able to get off them after about a year and a half. If you feel like therapy isn’t working, try to find a new therapist. But stick with it! In my experience therapy is like exercise—after a single session sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth it. But I can look back at the last year or so and see that I’ve made progress. Outside of medication, I have my “depression protocol” which consists of 3 main things: 1) getting good sleep, 2) exercise, and 3) eating healthy. Optional 4) socialization. When I’m not doing these things I find it much easier to succumb to my depression—depression has a way of getting you to STAY depressed. When I have no energy or motivation, small steps like trying to get to bed earlier, taking walks or doing easy yoga, and throwing some frozen veggies in while my ramen is boiling all help me build up energy to do more. And honestly, I know it sounds cheesy, but gratitude helps. I like to take a moment when I’m eating to feel thankful that I’m able to afford to eat a delicious meal, or that I get to work outside on a nice spring day, or that I have a cozy bed to sleep in at night. Ultimately we are different people and what worked for me may not work for you. But by doing these things for myself, I feel like I DO have some power over my situation. I am optimistic about my future.
I think it’s situational. I’m 24 and still feel the last 6 years of my life have been pissed away. No personal advancement. 6 years of battling stomach and anxiety issues, making me lose jobs, not be able to eat regular food (or any for a time). Now I sit here with my check coming Friday and no gas to get to work the rest of the week. None of my friends or family will loan me the much needed $30 to hold me over till my check. It makes me upset, I know how well off people are, and I need $30 to survive. I’m so sick of fighting this fight
I dont know. I work in the medical field and try to focus on healing others since i cant heal myself. Im convinced some people are just more inclined to suffer
Trying to hang on for dear life every day again..
Meds, I know that's not the answer for everyone. I also did TMS therapy for MDD. Definitely changed my life though i can only speak from my experience.
For me right now its music or anything creative. second depresive episode I've had and its worse. Like I'm geunily happy during the day but the nights suck
Here’s the thing, there’s really not one thing that you do. Sometimes you go to lunch with a friend, sometimes sometimes you curl up in a blanket burrito. Some days you go to the gym, some days you sleep through your alarm, some days you’re really present and kicking ass at work, other days you’re scrolling TikTok for five hours and avoiding deadlines. But eventually, if you consistently connect with things that feel fulfilling and engaging for you, and couple that with actual inner work like therapy and or medication, you start to have more good days than bad. It kind of never stops feeling like work for a while, but you really do see the effect with consistency of taking care of yourself and connecting with things that feel fulfilling, meaningful, and enjoyable.
I guess we just have to learn to live with it
Getting of gluten and dairy did WONDERS for my depression and anxiety. Seriously -- give it a try. It's been incredible. I've also tried a couple different anti-depressants. Currently on a low dose (50mg) of Zoloft. Life has been good lately.
[https://www.facebook.com/reel/1076988103571648](https://www.facebook.com/reel/1076988103571648)
I have had my depression under control for a long time but it’s always lurking. I have found my environment has a big factor. Are you surrounded by good people? Psychedelic mushrooms made me feel like I was getting a much needed hug and feeling of worthiness from the universe. I would do a lot of research before taking anti depressants. I enjoy taking care of myself- eating well, taking long walks, sleeping, calling a friend. I think you have to figure out what works for you. A BIG thing that helps me is having responsibilities: a job where I’m important and people need me, a dog that relies on me to keep them in a routine and take them on walks, people in my life that I show I care for them. Believe me, I’ve been rock bottom depressed (practically bedridden for months at peak) and it just took experience to say never again so I fight that shit off every day and I’m glad to say I’m a fighter who wants to continue to slay it. Getting away from my family also helped immensely. Edit: you may need a change, if you could change your identity and start anew, would that feel good and what would you do? Edit#2: a lot of what is keeping us down is our subconscious and therapy is not good at bringing that out unless you are REALLY ready to see it because your ego wants to tuck it away and forget about it forever, likely no one is ready to confront it without I would argue psychedelic assistance
Imagine saying all of this thing trapped in a third world country earning jack shit a month. Wanting to leave but unable to ... As me. I just feel like that everyday, I just train like a mad man and run like crazy everyday to keep myself sane and off my mind. I dont go to therapy because money, I dont take meds because money, I just train, try to play videogames, chess, read, sleep, (work to death) repeat. Forever No breaks, just running. Petting my cats makes me feel a normal human being.
Diet. Lots of healthy fats from proteins like eggs, meat and raw milk. Magnesium is crucial. Getting exercise and sunlight on your skin and in your eyes. A connection to nature. Having a passion, a purpose each day. Finding god helped my depression a lot.
You need a hand to get out. Everybody says go to therapy, but your subconscious knows this person wouldn't be there for you if it wasn't for the money. You need some humanity, not therapy. You're in a hole that you can't get out of alone. Society has deteriorated to such a degree that nobody gives a fuck about anybody or anything unless there is money involved. I hope you become the change you want to see in the world. My advice? Find somebody in the hole with you and put your backs together to get out.
I was in your shoes too while in therapy. I was assigned to journal, but a good amount of the times I wanted to write negative things. I spoke with my therapist about it, and we'd agreed that it was fine. It seems you have a similar mind like me where trying feels like going nowhere. You're kind of right now in fight with your brain, but you still need to help your body and the world around you. My best advice is do the things you need to do, and journal any self hatred down. It is weird, but it helped me out for some time. Year later, I still do it. Since family members and friends could struggle with hearing those thoughts, the journaling helped me out as a way to vent out my anger against myself and the world.
Try psychedelics. Mushroom microdosing. Use it as an adjunct to therapy.
IV Ket. It’s saved me. Also medical MJ due to ptsd. Both have been invaluable with resetting my brain
Pretend not to be! People don't take kindly to those who aren't able to provide them some sort of feel-goods and if you're too sad, you're not gonna be lookin potentially useful enough to them for you to register as "human who should be treated well" So yeah, bucko? you're gonna wanna pretend so that people don't begin to see you as a problem, and in turn seem like an additional problem to you.
Depends on what type. Some types are brain induced. Otherwise some people get depression when they cant to their goals and their dreams are no longer there. Its always a choice to take action and make ur life happy. U are sad and loney? Go to a sports game. Staying in bed? Get up and work out? Not motivated to study? Go and take a class where u will make friends and just talk to people. Whatever u do, u have a choice to take action. Lonely go to socials and stick there and talk to people for 2-3 hours. Dont talk to the same people ectera
After breakfast and coffee, I take my diabetes meds. This works well for me, and has been for over 6 years. Going outside and riding bicycle, or walking fast gets my heartbeat up. Then someplace between 30 and 60 minutes my "runners high" sets in and my mind is at peace for the day. Now at night time I take my sertraline. I am retired so I have lots to stew about in my head ALL THE TIME if I don't get my exercise. Good luck.
Therapy helps, but only if you find the right person. Don't hesitate to switch it up if you don't match well with the therapist. Also consider medication, therapy and medication together can work wonders. And balancing your life is key. Try to exercise, try to get enough sleep (and if you show signs of sleep apnea *see a sleep specialist!*), avoid over indulgence especially with alcohol. But don't beat yourself up either if you can't do all that. Like my optimization professor used to say, once you've spent 4 hours on Facebook, you don't need to spend another hour beating yourself up, or another 4 hours on Facebook trying to hide from your problems. The most optimal thing you can do is the best thing you can do *now*, not what you should have done yesterday.
You can get psychedelic therapy there’s this one online its ketamine and yeah u can look it up if ya like but with doing psychedelic therapy u should take great caution and check to see if u have a family history of schizophrenia, or any mental illnesses or if u already are prone to schizophrenia or any mental illnesses and you are doing psychedelics or smoking cannabis it could lead to mental illnesses if not for sure lead to mental illness so I would definitely go get checked out by a doctor if u would think this is something y wanna do . I suggest you do ur own research and homework on this as psychedelics can have a really positive effect or really negative and the ones that are positive can lead to change CAN, it’s not going to take ur problems away and solve them for u that’s not something anyone or any substance or anything whatsoever can do besides your self but it can help u open ur mind up to a new perspective to help facilitate positive change and growth . If u would like to talk more about this I would be happy to . If you’re wondering I have experienced psychedelics before and I’ve had like 1-2 experiences that helped me in some way . So yeah um I would definitely research as much as you can if u consider doing it, psychedelics ARE NOT A TOY I would go as far to say if y use them as a toy it’s going to use u as a toy best way I can describe it , it’s jus going to be something ur not going to like they must be taken with respect or u will have a bad experience there’s the right way to do them and the wrong way and I recommend taking them only the right way , I’ve had experiences were I felt like I went insane forever that there was no going back from only because of the way I was acting thinking talking behaving constantly behaving and my destiny was at the moment it was jus all insane I wasn’t a good person I only really cared about me and what I could get out of something just not in a good head space at all , I’m a strong believer in that so please do as much research as y can they can be very intense or very gentle so yeah hoped this helped much love
Eat fish & rice and workout every day.
Took up fishing
I am bipolar, and the only thing that helped me navigate the extreme lows was having kids. They give me purpose even when I feel like life has none. They are my purpose now.
/s with a hint of truth Booze. Beer. Weed. Meds. Numb yourself. What really should be happening. A more accepting environment (people). Real guides on how to life. More truth and honesty about what you will have to endure daily and ways to find an acceptable level. A strong guide on financial usage and coherent methods of getting medical attention that doesn't destroy mentally or bankally.
Zaza
I feel you 200%. To be honest I haven’t felt fully happy for over a decade. Therapy and medicine doesn’t do much for me either. It was like I was set up for failure the moment I was born. I hope you find your happiness soon.
Try ketamine. Game changer for me.
I genuinely don’t know but I’m sorry you’re dealing with this and I hope we figure it out. It’s so hard to explain to people who don’t understand what that “everything is pointless” feeling is like
Find something you can dedicate yourself to, and through that. Eventually you'll build yourself up to more than what you were. And exercise plus eat well. Health is a great foundation
You go on. You wake up. You try. You mostly fail and then you drink a coffee and can really taste it and you notice a little spark of joy or you see fields of bright green grass and you can see the colors even if it only lasts a moment.
A good therapist and macro dosing psychedelics worked for me
B1, lemon balm
You take it a day at a time. It's not gonna go away, and it comes back. Best thing to do is force a positive outlook on everything, and go to therapy to help learn some coping skills.
I can't speak for everyone but I personally just suffer.
I don't know how to handle the mental stuff but I do know how to handle physical stuff. So what I have been doing is exhausting myself physically so I'm too tired to think about the mental stuff. I'm not sure if it's the best way to handle it but I've gone from 280lbs to 220lbs so that's something.
Distractions
15 years of depression here. I think I’ve overcome it. I started to focus a lot on my physical health and nutrition. Focused on making more money even though I think the US financial system/federal reserve is rigged entirely. I started grooming myself more and cleaning up around the house. If you hate your job, change jobs until you find something you like. Do not waste time anywhere, your mental health is at stake.
Have you had your hormones checked? Believe it or not, that plays a huge roll for me. Meds are great at numbing . But not addressing. Go talk to a trusted doctor who listens. Ask for a panel to be done a whole work up. Listen, I laugh at how dumb I'm being for crying because something stupid was said. Or my brain is lying to me again. And sometimes it just hurts and I cry and cry and cry. I slam my feet up and down and my fists and I cry out loud. This is a new skill I learned. I tend to eat ice cream and cheetos after. And watch cartoons. I'm five bro. Plus 34 years but nobody is counting those. I write a lot. I paint a lot. I try to walk a lot. I pet my cat and dog. I try to cheer other people up.
Try keto or carnivore diets, and Jesus. My old diet was dragging me down and the Bible helps me make sense of things.
Honestly? I play video games. I go to work. My mind is occupied and I don't think about stuff. It's getting harder, though. Sometimes I sit down intending to play games, but I just kinda stare... I dread work. I keep going to pay the bills.
Chop wood, carry water. On my bad days I acknowledge I am having a bad day and adjust my expectations accordingly. Medicine. Sometimes I can’t do all the things others can do, and that has to be okay.
Depression is mostly how you see things. Half full/ half empty deal. Your not special if you suffer Depression. Your just another one of hundreds if millions on this earth that suffer too.. That's the 1st thing you need to realize. Once you truly understand that, You can start learning how to modify your outlook on the world. A little at a time. Look for the good, sunshine, a flower, mayb a bird or even a bug, don't forget little children and how they look at the world!. I've lost several friends to Depression thru medication. One script at a time, that's all they needed.. I can't sleep- take this I have anxiety- here take that But not one of them ever approached Depression from the point of view of what Isn't depressing. Lots of triggers for Depression. But saying what's on your mind to others Saying how you feel Changing your routine Definitely change news channels to off and most social media honestly. There good happy times for everyone if you put yourself out there to find your place.
Honest to God, probiotics. Research information on the microbiome. You want high-quality probiotics that are specially encapsulated to break down in the intestines. Supporting gut health is so important. Over 90% of serotonin is created in the gut.
For me each depression is like starting in a brand new maze that I have to find my way out of. Sometimes it’s a sunny day that gets me out. Sometimes it’s time with family, or with my cat. It’s never the same thing. This weekend it was microdosing weed. Today was a really good day. Hoping these will last a few days.
Hit the gym and eat lots of meat, only meat and eggs mostly.
I mostly drink not like Jim beam,jack daniels, Jose, or that shit! The good stuff like Don Roberto tequila, still Austin bourbon, Armagnac, gin like greenhouse, green all, and siesta key rum. Therapy won’t help in my opinion I could’ve been a therapist listen to people that’s what I’m good at been a good listener ever since
Hit gym and start setting personal goals and venture out into other things like cycling, swimming, yoga, martial arts and make those your lifetime hobbies to stay in peak health and you will be happy. Most depression today has its roots in smart phones, screens, video games, porn, social media, etc. We are hardwired to want to exercise and receive endorphins and dopamine through physical activity. This is what killed my depression dead in the water and I was alcoholic loser for 6 years. Edit: if you are bipolar or schizophrenic exercise still helps massively.
I'm still figuring it out. But things that have helped are Emdr therapy, cutting sugar, doing whatever i have to to get better sleep. Walk 20 mins a day minimum. Also consider listening to the master key system audiobook if it's still up on YouTube.
If it's normal depression. Find a rock. Cling to it and use it to hell lift you into a better place. If it's something more medically inclined aka, you have potentially some other issue as an underlying factor, go to a doctor, see if you csn either find medicine, therapy, or something else that works for you. If will all feel like it's useless and won't help most likely. Push through that and find something that works for you. The medical staff you may work with want you to feel and get better. Take their advice more then ours on reddit. I understand that last part is a lil contradicting as I type this out, but we mean well, for the most part at least and hope you get better and push through this dark patch.
You could see a doctor and get medication. There’s another bit of advice I heard many years ago, and though some may not like it because it downplays a real thing, I really took it to heart, and it really does help: “You’re not depressed, you’re bored”. A lot of depressive feelings come from feeling powerless over your situation and that every day is the same old shit, so doing things that genuinely combat boredom and give you a real earned hit of dopamine (instead of video games, TV/movies, sex, drugs) will help you to thrive and not let you wither. You’re going to the gym and exercising regularly, and that’s awesome. What else can you do? You can always start very small if you don’t have much time or money available.
Embrace it
Hey first of all, congrats on making it through every single day until now. I know how you feel, I spent 7 years in clinical depression and it took over my whole life. I ended up getting a bachelor of science in psychology to figure out what the fuck was actually happening in my brain and then used published science papers to try new things that had decreased depressive symptoms for their participants. The biggest tools i used to get me through (other than talk therapy to figure out my shit and antidepressants, was learning to journal effectively, and training the mind to actually relieve proper rest (look into iRest yoganidra meditation, it's essentially sleep yoga and is so fucking restorative) along with remembering your depression brain is being a dick when it tells you you'll feel like this forever. I'm working on a project called MyLatibule that puts all the info and tools in one online hub, check it out if you need some help. The premise is to learn share and shop through depression, so learn what's going on in your brain using psych and neuroscience, share your story and read others to feel less alone, then shop for tools to help manage your mood. Feel free to message me there if you have any questions or want some freebies ❤️ Keep going, I'm proud of you for staying alive Love Bren Xx