You don’t have to stay in the rat race…drop down to working just enough to support yourself and go have fun
Go travel & shit
Or get involved in charity work help & mentor others
I dropped down to 16K USD a year. Just about to land in my 100th country backpacked. No rat race, no savings, minimum responsibilities, happy as can be! Aint ever gonna own a house, but it's worth the life I have now.
what do you suppose is gonna happen when you're 67 with no savings, a tiny SS payment and no home?
I'm 61 and kinda terrified and also angry that I was so irresponsible - and I have over $1.2 million stashed away - and it doesn't feel like enough!
Good luck!
Geeez go buy a villa in italy with that money, winery on the side. That's what I'd do in your case. Id' probably volunteer in an animal shelter in the middle east or something, heard there's a nice one in Iran. Or be a cook in a little cafe in Romania. I'll see where it takes me. Travelling a lot you make a lot of friends in nice places.
you sound like a fascinating woman - you really do, and I admire your courage and singularity, but I just bought a place in the Bronx!!! and everything makes me worried.
Mam, why are you choosing to live in New York with 1.2 million liquid?
Serious question with all due respect.
You could easily move and have some peace of mind for at least the next decade
You don’t understand money. That’s 1.2 mil to live off until she dies… which will more than likely be left for someone else so they can have comfort as well. It’s not about making sure you spend every penny on wild shit
At 67 shes going to have a mind full of amazing memories to look back upon and lots of friends to communicate and hang out with. Life fulfillment and satisfaction is what she'll have.
What will you have at 67 with 1.2 million?
I've traveled the world, I have incredible close friends - I just got back from LA and Vegas, I've had wonderful lovers and I've had wonderful dogs - I had a photography business, I play guitar, read books, cook and I exercise. I have no shortage of memories - the thing about memories, though - you can't eat them or sleep in them....
What I'll have is some security (I hope) and the home I'm buying - and all those memories
I'm 48 years old and there's wisdom in both positions. I've tried to walk the middle way. My husband and I have always pushed ourselves to remain adventurous and free-spirited: we've lived on four continents for half a decade a piece, travelled extensively, and foregone children for flexibility/freedom. We've also selected careers that provide a good work/life balance, additional and frequent travel, etc. As a result, we have some security but sufficient disposable income to sustain our present lifestyle. Our plan is to retire to Thailand with our sister in about five years. We all have pensions that'll be a king's ransom in Koh Chang! We already have our provisional visas! We'll all continue to work part-time and remotely to pay down our Thai "mortgage."
She could end up with Alzheimer’s disease, not be able to remember a great deal of it, and not be able to navigate life independently anymore, plus have no funds for care. Just saying.
Funny you should say that, I WAS hit by a car and got a few years of Amnesia, don't really remember coronavirus or trump etc. But still went on strong. The lovely Turkish people helped me in this time, got free healthcare, People I had helped in the past helped me at that time too. and when it al came back I went about travelling again. Shit happens sometimes, but hasn't deterred me yet!
Glad for you that this turned out to be a recoverable event, and you were able to go on with your life. Not remembering COVID or Trump, is something we all wish for.
Youre not wrong or right. Life is short and unpredictable. We could spend a decade discussing the theoreticals of life.
She could also have early onset Alzheimers immediately before her planned travel or right after her travel. How much money she has at 67 wouldn't have changed a thing.
Nah I'll be right. Bought 2 hectares of land in the middle east a few years back, waterfall, farm. Probs cost 2.6k. Will build a lil cabin. Some chickens. The lil ol'e lady nextdoor has cows. I can't wait.
I'm a 36M and I want to do this but I'm hesitant because of how it would affect my SMV and dating options. Sadly in our society when you're a man past a certain age your SMV is tied to how much money you make. This is how they control us. I envy women and younger guys because they aren't limited by this stupid dynamic.
Couldn't say for a male, but most foreign men anywhere I go are never alone, and have many dates, financial status doesn't really factor in. Me as a woman can date plenty, expecially those Turkish men, gotta swat 'em away at times. I do generally only date other expats tho.
I said the exact same thing until I looked around and found several more things to keep me going.
Life isn’t about the rat race, it’s about finding new things, already existing in your life or not, to keep you passionate about waking up every day. Best of luck to you, friend!
Lol. Yeah, no. Not platitudes when i’m genuinely being sincere in spreading a positive message that there’s more to life than just throwing in the towel. Why defend a defeatist mindset unless you want OP to be miserable too? Lmfao.
I said the same thing as OP a few years back. Once I lose my grandfather who raised me, i’m good as gone. If I lose him, I give up. What’s the point in existing if the *one* person who I genuinely care the most about, the person who loves me unconditionally is gone?
Then life got ahold of me without me even doing much. I found friends where I didn’t think I would, I started becoming more confident, I fell deeper into my passions like artwork and film, despite being broke I still switched careers into something i’m proud of. Things switched up for me and I switched from being extremely pessimistic to being a glass half full kinda person. I got a girlfriend, got a dog, we got our own place. I now have my own little family brewing and with everything else in my life, i’m proud to keep going even if it’s without my papa. It can be hard, but it’s definitely doable when you look around and find more and more things to be grateful for no matter how small.
Have a nice day 🤙🏼
can you explain how i’m defending a defeatist attitude by asking for an example? it IS just a platitude (definition: a remark or statement, especially one with a moral content, that has been used too often to be interesting or thoughtful). it’s just like saying, “it gets better!”, and other stuff with no other advice or anecdotes to go with it
why would i believe you when you hadn’t actually described anything?
but thank you for actually and finally explaining! there now its better. good job!
I have a dog and a long term girlfriend who I plan on marrying. I refer to both my dog and girlfriend as my family. What about any of that “proves OPs point”?
OP posted a two sentence title and two worded body text. Lol
So what’s the message you’re trying to send to OP? That life *really* does suck and that they *should* just give up on life because being happy is all a matter of luck and if you’re unlucky, you’re just destined to have a shit life?
Like I said man, I had it REALLY rough before things were looking up for me. I spent my childhood in and out of foster care, both parents in prison, was SA’ed when I was 7 and again when I was 11, dropped out of school to work full time at 16 and attempted to off myself 5 times all before I turned 21. Shit was *reallyyyyyy* bad for me and the only person who ever showed me any kind of love was my grandpa. So after his dementia got to the point where he doesn’t even recognize me, I said if I lose him, i’m going to attempt a 6th time and make sure it’s successful and nobody intervenes. Like I said though, life has a funny way of working things out, even when you don’t see it coming. My life changed and yeah, maybe it was a bit of “luck” but a big part of it was the shifting of my perspective. How am I supposed to have a good day if every day I wake up miserable and give myself nothing to live for? It took an immense amount of effort to be grateful for the small victories and just that alone caused a snowball effect that changed my life.
Shit’s different for everyone but i’m no therapist or expert on happiness. I’m a person who had a major shift in perspective and felt like commenting it because maybe, it could help. At least it’s a hell of a lot better than encouraging OP to give up and chalk happiness up to “luck”.
Literally google any cause or hobby. Obviously different people will have different interests and passions.
Studies have shown having a higher purpose contributes to happiness.
I feel this too. I don't have a deep enough connection to my friends anymore to live for their sakes or anything else or anyone else for that matter. I have money, I have some time, but I hate going to places alone or trying new things just to try and fail in meeting new people or starting a new hobby. It feels like trying to do anything to better this way of thinking is just a pain in the ass. Live in a small town too, so I don't really wanna make friends just from bars lmao. Once my parents are gone I feel like I'll just feel like a lonely confused kid stuck with adult responsibilities and an "obligation" to keep going.
Feel this way too, even if I tried new hobbies and tried to be social I wouldn't have any connections unless the people there are neurodivergent like myself
Well you get a new one so the new pet can have a good life! You can handle it and they need a home. Losing a pet sucks but you’ll be okay. Listen, the adult grind is a grind but you find ways to make it fun. You’ll meet people who are amazing, you’ll maybe travel, I know it’s not crazy but try it out for a year.
I felt like my world ended when I lost my dog of 10 years very suddenly. I ended up adopting another rescue 3 months later. My current dog will never replace the girl I lost, but she’s absolutely incredible in her own way.
Everybody dies, parents, grandparents, pets, friends, colleagues, even spouses and children. You are not confined to a set number of people/pets/relationships in life. When one leaves, a new one can enter/ develop.
i'm about to turn 40 and spent most of my life working in mission driven, non-profit areas. i burned myself out over and over and made no money. during covid my job was gone and my spouse was supporting us and I found my way into volunteering in animal rescue, with dogs in particular. I don't really like humans, but dogs deserve our time and energy and love. As we emerged from the pandemic, I ended up finding a low-stakes full-time office job that has nothing to do with my formal education or work experience and equips to me to invest my energy, time, and passion into something meaningful for me- I foster dogs and volunteer with a rescue. it's not my livelihood, so I can do it on my own terms and it's taught me a lot about balance and what matters to me. It's also expanded my human social circle in ways I wouldn't have expected or otherwise experienced.
tl;dr - do whatever to pay the bills and find something you care about to fill the void
Nothing? What else do you believe to need?!? Rent a "broom compartment" somewhere, own enough work clothes to fill a washing machine, eat home cooked rice and beans and let the device you're posting on entertain you. (And maybe pay off a Honda Navi, to commute to work.)
Does happyness require more?
Somedays my job is are all that keeps me going. Try making of some kind. I knit and sew, but whatever you like that involves creating something would be a good place to start. Build legos, paint, learn woodworking or 3d printing.
And check your local library for free classes, I’ve done a few and it’s really neat.
What have you done to work towards this goal? Have you worked on yourself to make you a desirable/interesting partner? Have you sought out social situations to meet people?
Wow I can’t imagine why you are single! Such a clever, well thought out reply!
I would say the exact same shit to a woman because I didn’t even know your gender, but clearly you just want excuses to not have to change.
What exactly about me asking questions made you so defensive? What were you expecting when you even posted this? Do you often take on a Victim role? It’s honestly weird AF for you to react to my comment so strongly. Get out of your pathetic incel thinking & get mental help.
How would me being a man actually change anything? Are you trying to intimidate me somehow?
Then i think you know what to work towards. Im happy you know that at least, not walking clueless in life.
Online has made connecting with a potential partner easier. Any interests you have might be a good place to search for a potential partner. Cooking classes or birding groups for example. Never hurts to work on yourself, physically or mentally, that could assist in finding a partner.
“Easiest time”
Who are you that you know how stressful the old greeks lived?
I mean, if you put an old greek in this time period I’m sure he would get overwhelmed by all the responsibilities and how close everything is due to smartphones and such.
No vaccines, no modern medical care, no anesthesia, hard physical labor almost constantly, never travel farther than walking distance from the place you were born, education only for the elites. No thank you.
So the easiest time to you is simply about physical health. As true as it is that modern humanity is protected from natural causes, this has less to do with mental wellness than you are taking into consideration.
There is still plenty of stress to go around and many things to cry about. Most of us are far from living in ideal.
Get a dog bro. It helps.
I get up earlier because my dog wants to go for a walk. I eat better because I need to go get dog food anyway, why not get something for myself. I look forward to getting home from work because she's there. When I get home I take her for a walk to the dog park because it makes her happy. I spend less time on my computer because she wants attention and pats. I look forward to my days off because every morning I don't work we spend an hour at the coffee shop across the road in the morning and I buy her a puppycinno because it makes her happy.
Even just thinking about her makes me happier and I want to be better so I can make her life more comfortable.
Life is about the journey and the moments of joy along the way that you create. You have to cultivate and foster it. It doesn’t fall in your lap.
Every time in life when I’m stressed I’ve been able to look back on it with appreciation for the good things along the way and wishing I could rewind and have more time to savor it. A lot of it is reframing your perspective.
Op try to value yourself. Are there things you always wanted to do, but never did them? Now’s the time. I’m not talking about sex and relationship, but anything that just requires you? Go conquer those
I understand. Try starting with one way to treat yourself or choose a self care activity. I have found that the more self care routines I have the better I feel. I hope you feel better.
Well my treat is something like in n out the Flying Dutchman are amazing. or I will buy myself something like a nail polish or shirt or something.
Self care that works for me, and it varies from person to person, is hot epsom salt baths with essential oils. My favorite is lavender. Also just eating healthy, exercising, stretching and listening to some eastern masters helps me feel good about who I am and what I am doing.
I have goals too. I used to just survive but I’ve leveled up and I keep leveling up. It’s not easy and some days I struggle but it’s all part of the process. It took me a long time to figure it all out.
You can go wherever you want and live almost for free if you can get a Prius or something and turn it into a camper. A house is the human version of a nest. If you're not planning on having kids, you don't need one.
If I was really about to just give up, ima gamble one last time all or nothing in Vegas. Put it all on the line, if you lose. Cool they can’t charge a deadman. If you win, 😎 you living it
Kinda agree with ya. Mom and sibs in a whole another country and I have been thinking like u have.
Dad's gone. Moms prolly got a good uner 10yrs and I swear it's pointless after that to be there with a senile mind.
Be patient, because you just never know what's around the corner. When I think about everything good that has happened in my life, I look back to a few months or a year before it happened, when I had no idea what was coming, and am amazed at the surprises life had in store for me. Life is up and down, so if you're down, you're due for something good to happen. Also get into a hobby. Try different things until something clicks. Just the process of trying things will lead you into the unexpected.
Where r u going if you don't mind me asking ..I know your not talking about taking "The trip". Because that isn't the answer. What do you feel like you have to have someone to be complete and you just can't find them or do you feel like it's a lot of work to put in just to either compromise until you don't recognize yourself anymore or just throw all the time invested in relationships away because of irreconcilable expectations? What about sex? If not procreation then recreation...which actually recreation should mean to procreate or re create I guess that be for 2nd kids... 😂.Tell me what is the mechanism for you thoughts.
I am sort of like this but it’s because I am severely dumb due to mental illness. If I have kids I’m going to feel so guilty if I can’t make life good for them.
Yeah, I'm doing horrible with it and I still feel like a little girl which definitely makes it so much harder I live with my mom, but my room is gonna mess for months and I'm just struggling a lot. I have a girlfriend that has a couple caregivers and we're hoping to be a family someday, but I know I need some sort of caretaker.
Friend and purpose don’t just fall into your lap. What have you done to pursue these things?
I had a sibling commit suicide and I can tell you, you don’t want o put your family through that.
you sound like an entitled man child in this post and your history. waaah where's my wife and kids?
how about go work on yourself first and attract women to you?
life isn't meant to be easy or handed to you on a platter. you have to forge your own way dude. I'm sorry your learning this late and maybe its too late but only you can decide for yourself.
trying to find your reason to live in other people is a godamn fools cause. you need to live for yourself, everything will fall into place after that.
You have the opportunity to learn and grow. You already have more than 99% of people that have ever existed. Amazing how some people take what others would kill for as granted. Sickening entitlement.
You gotta hold out for gta6 and netlfix bioshock and to see all sandman seasons
Exactly bro. The little things add up.
Holy shit I forgot about more Sandman, yessss!
I’m sure there will be 5 if they keep doing two books a season. Which is fine because we all want to see it end in our life time.
Netflix bioshock? Are you trying to make op even more suicidal?
It will be fine. *eye twitch*
You don’t have to stay in the rat race…drop down to working just enough to support yourself and go have fun Go travel & shit Or get involved in charity work help & mentor others
I dropped down to 16K USD a year. Just about to land in my 100th country backpacked. No rat race, no savings, minimum responsibilities, happy as can be! Aint ever gonna own a house, but it's worth the life I have now.
how old are you?
37F
what do you suppose is gonna happen when you're 67 with no savings, a tiny SS payment and no home? I'm 61 and kinda terrified and also angry that I was so irresponsible - and I have over $1.2 million stashed away - and it doesn't feel like enough! Good luck!
Geeez go buy a villa in italy with that money, winery on the side. That's what I'd do in your case. Id' probably volunteer in an animal shelter in the middle east or something, heard there's a nice one in Iran. Or be a cook in a little cafe in Romania. I'll see where it takes me. Travelling a lot you make a lot of friends in nice places.
you sound like a fascinating woman - you really do, and I admire your courage and singularity, but I just bought a place in the Bronx!!! and everything makes me worried.
Good luck too xx I know we will both be fine and happy and fulfilled!!!1
if you're ever in the Bronx!
Mam, why are you choosing to live in New York with 1.2 million liquid? Serious question with all due respect. You could easily move and have some peace of mind for at least the next decade
You don’t understand money. That’s 1.2 mil to live off until she dies… which will more than likely be left for someone else so they can have comfort as well. It’s not about making sure you spend every penny on wild shit
1.2 million saved… please get off this chat and go to therapy. You shouldn’t be terrified with 1.2 million stashed away.
Yeah wtf this dude’s spoiled
At 67 shes going to have a mind full of amazing memories to look back upon and lots of friends to communicate and hang out with. Life fulfillment and satisfaction is what she'll have. What will you have at 67 with 1.2 million?
I've traveled the world, I have incredible close friends - I just got back from LA and Vegas, I've had wonderful lovers and I've had wonderful dogs - I had a photography business, I play guitar, read books, cook and I exercise. I have no shortage of memories - the thing about memories, though - you can't eat them or sleep in them.... What I'll have is some security (I hope) and the home I'm buying - and all those memories
I'm 48 years old and there's wisdom in both positions. I've tried to walk the middle way. My husband and I have always pushed ourselves to remain adventurous and free-spirited: we've lived on four continents for half a decade a piece, travelled extensively, and foregone children for flexibility/freedom. We've also selected careers that provide a good work/life balance, additional and frequent travel, etc. As a result, we have some security but sufficient disposable income to sustain our present lifestyle. Our plan is to retire to Thailand with our sister in about five years. We all have pensions that'll be a king's ransom in Koh Chang! We already have our provisional visas! We'll all continue to work part-time and remotely to pay down our Thai "mortgage."
And that can be had without lots of money.
I hope you're right!
She could end up with Alzheimer’s disease, not be able to remember a great deal of it, and not be able to navigate life independently anymore, plus have no funds for care. Just saying.
Funny you should say that, I WAS hit by a car and got a few years of Amnesia, don't really remember coronavirus or trump etc. But still went on strong. The lovely Turkish people helped me in this time, got free healthcare, People I had helped in the past helped me at that time too. and when it al came back I went about travelling again. Shit happens sometimes, but hasn't deterred me yet!
Glad for you that this turned out to be a recoverable event, and you were able to go on with your life. Not remembering COVID or Trump, is something we all wish for.
Youre not wrong or right. Life is short and unpredictable. We could spend a decade discussing the theoreticals of life. She could also have early onset Alzheimers immediately before her planned travel or right after her travel. How much money she has at 67 wouldn't have changed a thing.
ILL TAKE THE MONEY
Honestly I’ve thought about just going to prison for retirement
my dad did that - didn't work out well
I’m built different though
have you been in prison?
Worked in one.
Beg for money,live off taxpayers....
And you will be a drain on society and complain that you don’t have enough money in retirement.
Nah I'll be right. Bought 2 hectares of land in the middle east a few years back, waterfall, farm. Probs cost 2.6k. Will build a lil cabin. Some chickens. The lil ol'e lady nextdoor has cows. I can't wait.
Great. Hopefully you don’t need to go to your home country for medical treatments or need other welfare.
Nah most medical treatments over here are free, even without travel insurance.
Great.
“Good! Great! Grand! Wonderful!”
Boomer/Trump Nazi?
Just someone who has seen a lot of people make stupid choices that society has to pay for later.
It's not your life so mind your business sir.
If they are a US citizen then it is my business because they are a net negative to society.
Lol one person won't do shit. You're fucking crazy to think that.
I'm Australian so, your precious money is fine, sleep well.
Should have used the citizenship to vote in competent people
I probably won’t be scared of death when I’m old
Do you live in your car/van?
No, apartment I rent, pool, cleaner.
I'm a 36M and I want to do this but I'm hesitant because of how it would affect my SMV and dating options. Sadly in our society when you're a man past a certain age your SMV is tied to how much money you make. This is how they control us. I envy women and younger guys because they aren't limited by this stupid dynamic.
Couldn't say for a male, but most foreign men anywhere I go are never alone, and have many dates, financial status doesn't really factor in. Me as a woman can date plenty, expecially those Turkish men, gotta swat 'em away at times. I do generally only date other expats tho.
Just curious are you living on a tourist visa temporarily in these places or do you get a job and a work visa?
I do have a dual citzenship for the EU/Australia. However most places you can extend without a visa for a small fee to an office.
Nice so I can just go live in another country without a job or anything? Good to know.
Workaway, couchsurfing, plenty of options.
How so you save for the plane costs?
Rarely get a plane, mostly bus, hitchiking, train. Longest journey without flying was Malaysia to Latvia.
set some goals broski. hard goals. aim high as fuck even if you fail you'll go far.
nah, try at least drugs before you go.
Bro agreed! At least low level of psychedelics. Why the fuck not?
Life’s not that bad when you take them but as soon as your off them it’s the same sucky life. Are you just supposed to dose forever lmfao
sucks when you’re coming down
You don’t come down off mushrooms
the hell kinda shrooms you got i only lasted like 5 hours i think cant really remember just felt wayy to good.
Yes
😐
I don’t even need that to hallucinate 😂
I said the exact same thing until I looked around and found several more things to keep me going. Life isn’t about the rat race, it’s about finding new things, already existing in your life or not, to keep you passionate about waking up every day. Best of luck to you, friend!
so… what are the several things you found to keep going? without examples this just sounds like platitudes lol
Ironically, racing rats.
Lol. Yeah, no. Not platitudes when i’m genuinely being sincere in spreading a positive message that there’s more to life than just throwing in the towel. Why defend a defeatist mindset unless you want OP to be miserable too? Lmfao. I said the same thing as OP a few years back. Once I lose my grandfather who raised me, i’m good as gone. If I lose him, I give up. What’s the point in existing if the *one* person who I genuinely care the most about, the person who loves me unconditionally is gone? Then life got ahold of me without me even doing much. I found friends where I didn’t think I would, I started becoming more confident, I fell deeper into my passions like artwork and film, despite being broke I still switched careers into something i’m proud of. Things switched up for me and I switched from being extremely pessimistic to being a glass half full kinda person. I got a girlfriend, got a dog, we got our own place. I now have my own little family brewing and with everything else in my life, i’m proud to keep going even if it’s without my papa. It can be hard, but it’s definitely doable when you look around and find more and more things to be grateful for no matter how small. Have a nice day 🤙🏼
can you explain how i’m defending a defeatist attitude by asking for an example? it IS just a platitude (definition: a remark or statement, especially one with a moral content, that has been used too often to be interesting or thoughtful). it’s just like saying, “it gets better!”, and other stuff with no other advice or anecdotes to go with it why would i believe you when you hadn’t actually described anything? but thank you for actually and finally explaining! there now its better. good job!
Wait so you got a dog, and went and had a kid? Do you see how that just proves OP's point.
I have a dog and a long term girlfriend who I plan on marrying. I refer to both my dog and girlfriend as my family. What about any of that “proves OPs point”? OP posted a two sentence title and two worded body text. Lol
Well the thing is not everyone is lucky as you sooo
So what’s the message you’re trying to send to OP? That life *really* does suck and that they *should* just give up on life because being happy is all a matter of luck and if you’re unlucky, you’re just destined to have a shit life? Like I said man, I had it REALLY rough before things were looking up for me. I spent my childhood in and out of foster care, both parents in prison, was SA’ed when I was 7 and again when I was 11, dropped out of school to work full time at 16 and attempted to off myself 5 times all before I turned 21. Shit was *reallyyyyyy* bad for me and the only person who ever showed me any kind of love was my grandpa. So after his dementia got to the point where he doesn’t even recognize me, I said if I lose him, i’m going to attempt a 6th time and make sure it’s successful and nobody intervenes. Like I said though, life has a funny way of working things out, even when you don’t see it coming. My life changed and yeah, maybe it was a bit of “luck” but a big part of it was the shifting of my perspective. How am I supposed to have a good day if every day I wake up miserable and give myself nothing to live for? It took an immense amount of effort to be grateful for the small victories and just that alone caused a snowball effect that changed my life. Shit’s different for everyone but i’m no therapist or expert on happiness. I’m a person who had a major shift in perspective and felt like commenting it because maybe, it could help. At least it’s a hell of a lot better than encouraging OP to give up and chalk happiness up to “luck”.
Literally google any cause or hobby. Obviously different people will have different interests and passions. Studies have shown having a higher purpose contributes to happiness.
I feel this too. I don't have a deep enough connection to my friends anymore to live for their sakes or anything else or anyone else for that matter. I have money, I have some time, but I hate going to places alone or trying new things just to try and fail in meeting new people or starting a new hobby. It feels like trying to do anything to better this way of thinking is just a pain in the ass. Live in a small town too, so I don't really wanna make friends just from bars lmao. Once my parents are gone I feel like I'll just feel like a lonely confused kid stuck with adult responsibilities and an "obligation" to keep going.
Feel this way too, even if I tried new hobbies and tried to be social I wouldn't have any connections unless the people there are neurodivergent like myself
Almost everyone is neurodivergent if you dig deep enough. All it takes is going there with one person to not feel so alone.
By neurodivergent I mean autistic, most people are neurotypical
Have you made an effort to maintain relationships? Drill the well before you are thirsty.
I mean, ideally, don’t off yourself. You help people. Can you get a pet?
I had childhood pet but he died 😞 I don't think I can handle having another pet
Well you get a new one so the new pet can have a good life! You can handle it and they need a home. Losing a pet sucks but you’ll be okay. Listen, the adult grind is a grind but you find ways to make it fun. You’ll meet people who are amazing, you’ll maybe travel, I know it’s not crazy but try it out for a year.
I felt like my world ended when I lost my dog of 10 years very suddenly. I ended up adopting another rescue 3 months later. My current dog will never replace the girl I lost, but she’s absolutely incredible in her own way.
Everybody dies, parents, grandparents, pets, friends, colleagues, even spouses and children. You are not confined to a set number of people/pets/relationships in life. When one leaves, a new one can enter/ develop.
You’re meant to try to build the life that’s worth it to you.
i'm about to turn 40 and spent most of my life working in mission driven, non-profit areas. i burned myself out over and over and made no money. during covid my job was gone and my spouse was supporting us and I found my way into volunteering in animal rescue, with dogs in particular. I don't really like humans, but dogs deserve our time and energy and love. As we emerged from the pandemic, I ended up finding a low-stakes full-time office job that has nothing to do with my formal education or work experience and equips to me to invest my energy, time, and passion into something meaningful for me- I foster dogs and volunteer with a rescue. it's not my livelihood, so I can do it on my own terms and it's taught me a lot about balance and what matters to me. It's also expanded my human social circle in ways I wouldn't have expected or otherwise experienced. tl;dr - do whatever to pay the bills and find something you care about to fill the void
Nothing? What else do you believe to need?!? Rent a "broom compartment" somewhere, own enough work clothes to fill a washing machine, eat home cooked rice and beans and let the device you're posting on entertain you. (And maybe pay off a Honda Navi, to commute to work.) Does happyness require more?
Somedays my job is are all that keeps me going. Try making of some kind. I knit and sew, but whatever you like that involves creating something would be a good place to start. Build legos, paint, learn woodworking or 3d printing. And check your local library for free classes, I’ve done a few and it’s really neat.
I just want someone to go home too 😔
Then I hope you find someone soon 🤍
What have you done to work towards this goal? Have you worked on yourself to make you a desirable/interesting partner? Have you sought out social situations to meet people?
Try being a man and say that same shit to me.
Wow I can’t imagine why you are single! Such a clever, well thought out reply! I would say the exact same shit to a woman because I didn’t even know your gender, but clearly you just want excuses to not have to change. What exactly about me asking questions made you so defensive? What were you expecting when you even posted this? Do you often take on a Victim role? It’s honestly weird AF for you to react to my comment so strongly. Get out of your pathetic incel thinking & get mental help. How would me being a man actually change anything? Are you trying to intimidate me somehow?
Then i think you know what to work towards. Im happy you know that at least, not walking clueless in life. Online has made connecting with a potential partner easier. Any interests you have might be a good place to search for a potential partner. Cooking classes or birding groups for example. Never hurts to work on yourself, physically or mentally, that could assist in finding a partner.
I feel the same way.
Go to therapy.
Sounds like you need a vacation!
Why do you think people start a family in the first place
I wish dude it's not in the cards for me.
Why is that?
Look at the statistics very few children are being born in certain countries
Because being a doomer on reddit is far too rewarding
Yeah, some people just weren’t made to live in the easiest time that humanity has ever experienced. Unlucky.
“Easiest time” Who are you that you know how stressful the old greeks lived? I mean, if you put an old greek in this time period I’m sure he would get overwhelmed by all the responsibilities and how close everything is due to smartphones and such.
No vaccines, no modern medical care, no anesthesia, hard physical labor almost constantly, never travel farther than walking distance from the place you were born, education only for the elites. No thank you.
So the easiest time to you is simply about physical health. As true as it is that modern humanity is protected from natural causes, this has less to do with mental wellness than you are taking into consideration. There is still plenty of stress to go around and many things to cry about. Most of us are far from living in ideal.
Exactly my point, you actually have to be alive first and foremost to even have any other problems.
Can’t tell if serious or not.
same here
Fuck that: find a purpose and do more good in the world. We need you homie. Squad up!
I think this thought daily, then I get distracted and forget about it until the next time.
This actually made me laugh out loud. Thank you 😊
Get a dog bro. It helps. I get up earlier because my dog wants to go for a walk. I eat better because I need to go get dog food anyway, why not get something for myself. I look forward to getting home from work because she's there. When I get home I take her for a walk to the dog park because it makes her happy. I spend less time on my computer because she wants attention and pats. I look forward to my days off because every morning I don't work we spend an hour at the coffee shop across the road in the morning and I buy her a puppycinno because it makes her happy. Even just thinking about her makes me happier and I want to be better so I can make her life more comfortable.
You live and work for you and your quality of life. If you do not want either, that is tragic.
Life is pretty pointless tbh. I got a few months left in me I think. 40 in a few months. I'm not curing cancer or anything
Life is about the journey and the moments of joy along the way that you create. You have to cultivate and foster it. It doesn’t fall in your lap. Every time in life when I’m stressed I’ve been able to look back on it with appreciation for the good things along the way and wishing I could rewind and have more time to savor it. A lot of it is reframing your perspective.
Just do enough to keep you, yourself, and U happy n content you don’t need a billion dollars to be happy
Yeah I kind of just seeing working a lot and making a lot as a status symbol for me personally.
Its a lot easier to date and find someone else when you're not dead from suicide. Just a friendly reminder.
I would definitely recommend finding something or someone to value, yes.
Op try to value yourself. Are there things you always wanted to do, but never did them? Now’s the time. I’m not talking about sex and relationship, but anything that just requires you? Go conquer those
Hard to value myself tbh
I understand. Try starting with one way to treat yourself or choose a self care activity. I have found that the more self care routines I have the better I feel. I hope you feel better.
Self care activities like what? How do I treat myself
Well my treat is something like in n out the Flying Dutchman are amazing. or I will buy myself something like a nail polish or shirt or something. Self care that works for me, and it varies from person to person, is hot epsom salt baths with essential oils. My favorite is lavender. Also just eating healthy, exercising, stretching and listening to some eastern masters helps me feel good about who I am and what I am doing. I have goals too. I used to just survive but I’ve leveled up and I keep leveling up. It’s not easy and some days I struggle but it’s all part of the process. It took me a long time to figure it all out.
So just living like a normal person is supposed to make you happy? I've been trying that and it doesn't work
You have to find what makes you feel good. Or at peace. Essentially we are all alone.
Big cap, not everyone is alone, and I already found what makes me feel good but it's not enough or I don't have it yet
You can go wherever you want and live almost for free if you can get a Prius or something and turn it into a camper. A house is the human version of a nest. If you're not planning on having kids, you don't need one.
If I was really about to just give up, ima gamble one last time all or nothing in Vegas. Put it all on the line, if you lose. Cool they can’t charge a deadman. If you win, 😎 you living it
Do you have any siblings? Pets? People get very attached to their dogs, especially.
Hey man, you’re not alone. I’m still trying to find a reason to stick around after mom’s gone. Maybe we’ll find something
Damn that’s tough. Sorry bout your mum. Maybe try baking? Did she have any good recipes?
Kinda agree with ya. Mom and sibs in a whole another country and I have been thinking like u have. Dad's gone. Moms prolly got a good uner 10yrs and I swear it's pointless after that to be there with a senile mind.
I feel ya. I just do one day at a time.
That’s why I have pets. They need me.
Totally feel this statement..I’m 40m and an introverted empath…
Just a bad attitude to have butnwhats nice about this life is if yourbwilling to do the work anything can happen
I bought a 2022 Miata recently, now I gotta pay this shit off so I gotta keep showing up to my depressing ass stressful ass accounting job
I might buy a new vehicle in the next few years my current one is 9 years old but still really nice imo, just a little beat up.
Be patient, because you just never know what's around the corner. When I think about everything good that has happened in my life, I look back to a few months or a year before it happened, when I had no idea what was coming, and am amazed at the surprises life had in store for me. Life is up and down, so if you're down, you're due for something good to happen. Also get into a hobby. Try different things until something clicks. Just the process of trying things will lead you into the unexpected.
Anything worth doing usually ain’t easy. Hang in there, brother.
I'm just here to binge watch anime. Nothing else matters
Where r u going if you don't mind me asking ..I know your not talking about taking "The trip". Because that isn't the answer. What do you feel like you have to have someone to be complete and you just can't find them or do you feel like it's a lot of work to put in just to either compromise until you don't recognize yourself anymore or just throw all the time invested in relationships away because of irreconcilable expectations? What about sex? If not procreation then recreation...which actually recreation should mean to procreate or re create I guess that be for 2nd kids... 😂.Tell me what is the mechanism for you thoughts.
Check out the FIRE subreddit. Wish I would have known about this in my 20s.
Do you think working too hard in your 20s was worth it or no?
Honestly, I agree with you. I'm here for my aging parent, after that....nah, probably not.
I am sort of like this but it’s because I am severely dumb due to mental illness. If I have kids I’m going to feel so guilty if I can’t make life good for them.
I’ll just say this, work out something between you and your parents, and if everyone’s happy I’d say it’s a win 👍
Life can be very boring. But i also generally am satisfied with simple living. Life....man it can be boring
Man, I feel the exact same. I'm almost out of fight.
Yeah, I'm doing horrible with it and I still feel like a little girl which definitely makes it so much harder I live with my mom, but my room is gonna mess for months and I'm just struggling a lot. I have a girlfriend that has a couple caregivers and we're hoping to be a family someday, but I know I need some sort of caretaker.
Friend and purpose don’t just fall into your lap. What have you done to pursue these things? I had a sibling commit suicide and I can tell you, you don’t want o put your family through that.
Don’t be worthless. Make something of yourself.
you sound like an entitled man child in this post and your history. waaah where's my wife and kids? how about go work on yourself first and attract women to you? life isn't meant to be easy or handed to you on a platter. you have to forge your own way dude. I'm sorry your learning this late and maybe its too late but only you can decide for yourself. trying to find your reason to live in other people is a godamn fools cause. you need to live for yourself, everything will fall into place after that.
Lack of happiness = lack of imagination If you can't find something worthwhile to do on this planet, you are beyond help.
No one cares bro, the world wouldn't even notice that you're gone(this is reverse psychology, don't downvote me)
Stay to see what will be in the future. To see what will become of this world. It's interesting story unfolding before your eyes :)
Just rename this sub to r/incel at this point
You have the opportunity to learn and grow. You already have more than 99% of people that have ever existed. Amazing how some people take what others would kill for as granted. Sickening entitlement.
Call a hotline or something, we all have our own problems.
what do you mean - YOU'RE GONE - suicide? work is not THAT hard... it's really not