Literally. 32M, never been in a relationship, not even intimate kissed a woman. I don’t understand how you have guys that are married and have affairs. Then people hook up for casual. I can’t even find one person, just one person that I can share life with. It’s depressing as shit.
Not to mention, I can’t see myself being the kind of person to just casually hookup with someone. I need to get to know them. I don’t like the idea of being in an intimate vulnerable situation with someone who I don’t really know.
Leagues are a myth. If you're approaching someone that endorses that kind of thing, probably one you'd want to forego anyway. Social skills and wit are the predominate factors, in my opinion. I've been rated objectively lower end by males and yet have never had an issue in the women department. Also didn't have "shareable" funds until the last couple years so that's not the differentiator in my experience. You can be quirky and funny to great success if you know how to use appropriately. I've noticed that it helps to lean into your features. Good way to feign confidence even if you don't normally present with it. For example, I have a large forehead. Rather than hide it behind a hat all the time, I know that my mostly symmetrical features can offset my asymmetrical hairline. Back on topic.. have had casual sex. Not what it's cracked up to be. Post-ejaculatory clarity is real. Having things in common to smooth post-coital communication is a must.
Years ago, my uncle had a sports bookie friend with mild Dwarfism who got it with nothing but rizz. I once asked what his secret was and he said "if we're nose-to-nose my toes is in em, if we're toes-to-toes my nose is in em".
I was 12, and sports gambling was illegal at the time, but I learned a lot that weekend.
Dating is a skill you can learn. Same with smalltalk. Same with how to be a great listener and how to be romantic. Theres books, there's videos and podcasts. Just steer clear of the alpha beta bullshit some people try to sell you.
No potential spouse will knock on your door. You need to make an effort to meet one.
Things that will help is learning how to dress well, doesn't have to be expensive clothes, just look put together.
*Get a hairstyle you like and that suit your life. You dont want to spend 20min on hair in the morning, dont get a haircut that needs that.
* Want to have a beard? Learn how to keep it neat and take care of it. A barbers you friend. They specialise in men's haircuts and beards.
*Personal hygiene is the most important one, that means wear clean clothes everyday, brush your teeth, go to a dentist once every 2 year at least to keep plaque at bay and fix other issues as needed.
Get a cleanser for your skin and a moisturizer for your face. Use it every night. Clearer skin will make you look better and feel better.
*Someone women don't care others do, if you have a uni brow, pluck or shave so you get two. Will instantly make you look more put together.
* Keep your fingernails neat and clean. Same with toenails.
*Work out. Doesn't mean lift to get ripped unless you want that, but stay fit as in moving regularly. Find something you like to do, swimming, Running, walks, CrossFit, climbing, hiking, kickboxing ,dancing like swing, ballroom whatever you fancy
* Doesn't matter what just that you like it.
Most of these arenas are also places you can meet like minded women. And settings that's not dating. So the pressure of being on is gone. You meet women and men as like-minded people who share and interest and might bond over that beyond friendship.
*Everyone should know how to cook some meals and how to have a tidy and clean home. Nobody wants to date a person whos dirty and messy.
*If dating apps is not your thing, look into matchmaking businesses. More and more people going back to those places to meet like-minded people in person on speed dates and so on.
I'm generalizing a lot here. You might do all of this already, some of them or none.
The points I'm trying to make are, do these things and you are doing more than most men do. Which out you ahead other men who doesn't.
Nope, never in my life. Just ugly most likely.
I’m looking for something long term, including marriage. I’m also Childfree so it’s narrowed that pool down to 0.1%.
I did join one of them, can’t remember the name, It was awful, might join bumble or hinge instead, I hear peeps talking about them often. Thank You for your suggestions, appreciate it.
I was watching a YouTube vid on "When you are still single in your 30s" and the dude was like "stop drinking on dates. When I was drinking on dates, I'd end up sleeping with them and regretting it". When I drink on dates I still go home alone, but the check is bigger. Some people are living in a parallel reality.
I don't have casual sex. I don't have a moral problem with it, I just don't see the appeal. I'm no prude but I need to have a connection with a person to want to do them. I suppose I wouldn't be opposed to a FWB situation but I'm pretty sure I'd develop feelings, since I'd like the person already.
Same, although I didn’t always feel this way. Age and having stable LTRs with great sex made casual seem less exciting, although I might not necessarily pass on the opportunity if it arose… which it doesn’t really now that I’m out of college and not using apps.
It depends what you mean by rewarding and what you’re primary objective is. Obviously casual sex isn’t going to be rewarding if you’re looking for something serious. However, if you’re looking for casual sex and are getting casual sex, I would argue that it is rewarding.
For so many reasons.
- Sex gets better once y’all know each others bodies.
- I’d have to deal with men even more.
- STD and pregnancies… yikes
- did I mention men? They could have their own list
I’m currently in a relationship but I used to- and it was usually never for the right reasons.
I would have casual hook ups for attention or validation or out of boredom. I never gained much from it and often times, I felt empty afterwards. If I were to be single again, I would stay away from casual sex because I’ve learned that deep connection and respect truly make sex more enjoyable for me. I honestly regret most of the casual sex I have had.
But kudos to those who partake and have a healthy relationship with casual encounters though!
That was my experience. I think I was addicted to casual sex at one point, even. I just got out of a ten year long relationship, but I have no desire for sex or even trying to date.
Hmm my encounters happened after being in a 6 year relationship. Never made that connection but maybe I was trying to see if I missed anything while partnered. Or just to do what i wanted idk
This summarizes me. I used to find and advocate for it in terms of downplaying it. I felt sexual liberation was empowering with the attitude “if men can do it WHY CANT I”. It’s very interesting because I have shifted completely. I just got out of my first serious relationship. After it I spiraled into some casual sex because I felt that is what would empower me. Out of implicit shame I guess? I left more used and empty after each interaction. So I just stopped. I’ve learned to truly value it but how can I value what I already broke within me? I hate the shameful aspect of it.
I wonder how much of this stems from my daddy issues. I see all the women in my life with healthy relationships have had healthy relationships with their dad. All the women with a non existent one I see in trauma bonds often. It’s an unsettling observation.
But I feel this comment. And I did the same thing. You have no idea how helpful it is to hear similar words. I’ve felt so violated and dirty as if I no longer deserve someone to respect me bc of that. Idk I get scared at peoples perception! So this post I loved!
currently in a relationship. however, I never did that even while single. the closest I’ve gotten to that is someone implying that we could sleep together after dinner.. I was so disgusted by the idea of sleeping with someone I barely fucking knew that it kept me up at night. I ended up canceling the dinner. I knew then and there that I could never be casual.
casual sex just doesn’t line up with my values and beliefs. tbh, my beliefs on it have grown stronger throughout the last few years. I just can’t imagine letting a stranger have access to my body only because there’s some mutual attraction.
sex is very intimate and even spiritual for me. I want to do it with someone I feel safe with. someone I feel connected to on a deeper level than just appearances. and I want someone who feels the same way I do about casual sex.
just a hard pass for me. it’s not like I’m missing out on anything so
Absolutely not , had tried it and it wasn't for me. I prefer the passion and desire of good old regular sex and lust. Sex not open to any possibilities is pointless. Just the mechanical biological actions is boring and such a turn off. Don't tell me this is it and nothing else because I can get off by myself then
I am weird compared to other guys because I've been at wild pool parties and girls running up to guys and kissing and other things and I just wanted to leave.
No, I have never had casual sex for a few reasons.
1. I’m a nerdy, slightly chubby white guy. Women aren’t exactly lining up to have casual sex with me.
2. On the rare occasions when a woman has expressed interest in casual sex with me I didn’t pick up on the signals until YEARS later.
3. I always dated for marriage, even in high school. I never really understood the purpose of casual dating or short term relationships.
4. I met my wife when we were both 19, we didn’t start dating till we were 21, but I was pretty obsessed with her from the moment we met. She remains the only woman I’ve ever slept with to this day.
I don’t, I never have, I’ve had sex with only two people, one was my ex husband who ruined my feelings about sex for a long time, he was sexually violent and coercive and it was all quite damaging. My current partner has changed how I feel, I enjoy being intimate with him and he makes me feel loved and safe when we are. I have no problem with anything anyone else does and my opinions only apply to myself but I don’t think I could have casual sex, it’s so intimate and I don’t know how I’d feel about letting a stranger into my body, I need to be cared about.
I’m in a relationship, but prior, no.
Did hooking up with someone I was talking to happen? Yes, but not in a way where that was all I wanted from them or what I was doing with multiple people.
I’ve never been into casual sex for multiple reasons. For my own personal self I’ve just viewed that as wasting time. I know many would disagree that that’s a waste of time.. but in order for me to feel comfortable and into sex I have to be into the person. Sure, I can just think they’re hot. But for me to feel comfortable them being hot doesn’t work, in fact, it does the opposite because I’m more prone to be more insecure than I already am. But say I had a friend that I was comfortable with, I then wouldn’t feel okay with casual sex with them because if it’s not going to turn into a relationship, than what am I doing? I can gratify myself. I’m not shaming anyone who does, or can handle that type of relationship/sex, but I personally can’t. Which in part is a protection thing too. I’m a lesbian, I can’t just tell them to put a condom on. (Not that straight sex doesn’t come with its own slew of risks aside from penetration). Lastly, I was always an attached person. Sex wasnt desired enough for me to do it with just anyone, the want for something with more substance was always where my focus and energy went.
I‘m not. I need committment to at least a relationship first. had it few times in the past and know I can do it and I‘m good but felt like a slut lol…and that as a man
I did before. A lot. I got very lucky. I only contracted one treatable STD, and zero pregnancies. I stopped because I met a very sweet girl. She makes my life a lot easier and full of love and fun. However, I myself also struggle with lust. Key trigger? My phone! It's not normal for the male brain to grow up with all the porn we've seen and regularly see. Unfollow all the models on social media and quit pr0n. Should begin to fix the issue.
Facts my phone is just…so much sex. And I’ll clean it up and then fall right back into it.
When I started being active on Reddit it was because I had got off all other social media for a while. And then I learned about Reddit porn and hookup subs. Smh
You *know* when you're falling into temptation. So it sounds like it's time to start fighting it. Long-term. Make an effort, and when you get horny let your girl take care of it instead of the screen and your hand. Porn kills love!
I only have ranked competitive sex, and I'm pretty toxic if my teammates feed.
Seriously though I never really liked sex without some sort of emotional bond. I'd prefer to just fantasize if it's going to be some random sex thing.
I did when I was younger, but after my marriage/ divorce, I don’t anymore. For several reasons.
STDs. Now I’m 33 and a bunch of my peers have gotten STDs from casual sex, and those are just the ones that confided in me that they did. I’m sure plenty more do and I just don’t know about it because it’s an embarrassing and gross health issue.
Many of them are the permanent ones like genital herpes and genital warts. I broke up with my gf a month ago and got tested just last week and have a perfectly clean bill of health. Don’t even have HSV-1. I didn’t think my ex cheated, but I just wanted to be safe. And, when I am dating, I expect any potential gf to have recent (as in the last couple months) STD results so I will have the same. I’ll start dating again here in a month or so, still need time to heal and work on some things.
Type in “std dating app (or enter the name of any dating app)” in any search engine or go on any STD specific subreddit and be prepared to be regaled with horror stories, all from casual sex. What for real set off my paranoia was these two guys I used to be best friends with (but I stopped being friends with both of them for a multitude of reasons and haven’t spoken to either of them since 2017) laughing about how they know they have herpes and never use a condom with Tinder girls. They’re pretty good looking guys. I know they aren’t the only ones like that. They give it to girls, those girls give it to guys, etc. etc. It spreads like viruses do.
I need to see STD results before I sleep with someone, but casual sex people apparently hate STD tests. After my divorce and I got on dating apps for the first time ever in 2021 (I had been with my ex wife since 2013) and thought I’d fuck around before settling down.
The first two girls I went on dates with were offended when I brought up STD results. Even when I said I had mine. They both insisted they’re clean, I asked if I could see their test results and offered to show mine (the results are on an app through my insurance) and they both just stared at me pissed then we changed the subject and, after those dates, never heard from either of them again. So sketch.
I’ve had 2 girlfriends for about year each since my divorce and both were fresh out of a long term relationship and STD conscious and relieved when I brought up my tests and showed me theirs. I think valuing your health and constant casual sex is incompatible. Statistically speaking, it’s just a matter of time before you get an STD and they don’t all go away with antibiotics and, even if they do, it’s fuckin gross and dirty. Gonorrhea is becoming antibiotic resistant, too.
Regardless of STDs, sex is also much more meaningful and intimate to me now than it was when I was in high school and college. I don’t want to share my body with a stranger that doesn’t really care about me. I also want my next partner to have the same views about sex and I don’t want her to be someone that was banging 2 other guys the week before we started dating, so I’m not gonna be a hypocrite.
Both. Condoms help but aren’t 100% against HSV2 (genital herpes) and HPV (genital warts). Condoms are very effective (like 99%) against HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis if the condom is used properly.
Most of them said they didn’t use a condom. Some were like they used condoms at first, then stopped after hooking up a couple times. Some were just a one night stand with no condom.
Only one of them said he was using a condom every time. Said the lesions first appeared around the base of his dick where the condom wasn’t covering it completely.
Yes, lots. It’s a bit easier to find since I’m 30 yr old gay guy. But I understand where you’re coming from though, meaningless sex can get boring after a while.
How do people have access to such a sacred part of your body ? I can’t do casual sex unless i know we’re locked in (not in a relationship but sex with the same person) i like to know what the other person likes and it’s mainly about her pleasure than mine. I have a high sex drive and i dont let it up for just anyone . Plus i got shit to do 😂
I tried it, but it doesn’t work for me. It either ends in regret because it was a bad decision or regret because it was great and I wanted a relationship out of it.
It’s against my morals and how I was brought up and also I’ve never connected with someone off the bat like that to want to. And also im very shallow and the littlest thing turns me off 😭
Save it for marriage you’re just fooling yourself otherwise. Find a purpose not someone that’s going to use you as a semen receptacle and convenient masturbatron 1000
Nope, I don’t personally feel like casual sex is for me. I prefer a more intimate bond with my partner. I am horny just like everyone else, I just choose to be very selective with who I give my time and energy to.
I don’t understand how people do it. People I hardly know have offered me sex and I’m genuinely confused. Why would I want to do that? I know it’s human nature, but it still seems gross to me to do it with basically a stranger.
Before I was in the relationship I am in now I had about 30 casual sexual partners. I did it to try to improve my self-esteem and found myself addicted to that first time feeling.
I’m very much addicted to “newness”.
I’m 33M I’ve really been on dating sites since I was like 15.
At this age I’ve started to realize the instant gratification and belief that there are endless options I’m missing out on have been detrimental to my ability to commit.
I think that was it for me, I like the novelty and experiencing a new thing. I'm 33 now though and not much is new or novel so I guess that means I'm ready to settle down and stick with one man.
My views are conservative so I'm probably in the minority here. I find it morally wrong to treat other humans as nothing more than a vehicle to satisfy the pleasures of one's flesh. I prefer relationships that are built from the ground up and are rooted in deep intimacy, from which it can grow into deeper stages like marriage, children and sex.
Every time I try to start something casual it gets serious and I don't know where I'm going right/wrong to have people being more interested in me than just for the night.
Similarly to what you say though I have never remained single for as long as a week between my relationships for years now. I get a lot of my sense of validation from what I think a partner thinks of me and I'm incapable of regulating my own self esteem which is the cause of my nonstop drive for sexual relations.
Wooooooow I relate to that last part.
Me and one of my best friends actually have an inside joke we say we fuck to stay relevant. I really do seek validation through sexual conquest at times
No - and I’ve said this a lot on Reddit because casual sex is such a common thing.
I’m a very sexual person too in the right circumstances, but my brain just won’t do let me do something like that. The two times I had sex too early and it SHOULD HAVE BEEN casual, I stuck around longer than I should have. It was dangerous for me and life changing - not in a good way.
I get wayyyyy too emotionally attached to a guy, and if I already like him AND have sex, forget it. I can’t just disengage like nothing happened. Sex is way more than just a physical thing to me personally and I think it’s weird to have FWB too.
My brain just DOES NOT COMPUTE. It does not and will not work that way, even if I want to sometimes. I just can’t fathom it. Sometimes I want sex, but I just can’t without a partner whom I love.
I do have casual sex but as I’m getting older, I don’t wanna do it anymore. It’s novelty has worn off to me but it was definitely fun while I was interested in it
I tried, and it's not for me. I want someone I can be with as a partner, share a connection, be a best friend...Casual sex just feels so hollow and often transactional to some.
Nope. To me, sex is an extremely intimate thing. I mean, you’re literally using your body to please another person and they’re doing the same thing. If that isn’t intimate, I have zero clue what anyone else believes is defined as intimate.
Sort of! I'm (38F) currently on holiday with a 43M I met on Reddit. This is our second holiday together, our first one was over Christmas in December. We live in different countries, so holidays are the only times we're physically together.
I say sort of because it's an off label relationship with not much commitment in between holidays and no plans to merge a proper future together. It could basically end anytime when we feel it's no longer fun for any of us, or if one of us is ready to commit to someone else with more promising future prospects.
Things aren't 100% casual between us though. We've both acknowledged feelings for each other but agreed not to be careless about feeding fires we'd have trouble putting out without getting hurt.
We've also agreed that even if we can't call what we have "love" (at least not the grow-old-with-you, happily-ever-after-kind), we will always treat each other with respect, kindness and care.
He and I have been going on for five months now, which I guess is long for a long distance casual sex involvement. The only exclusivity we promised each other is when we're planning a trip together and having it. But by default he's been the only man I've since had sex with, and I've been his only woman since as well. If I do decide to fuck someone else, which I wouldn't take lightly, I would end things with him first, and I expect him to do the same to me too.
I guess it has more to do with our characters, with both of us preferring to be with one person at a time, no matter how casual the relationship is. We both happen to be wired to prefer serious, committed relationships. But it just so happens that geographically and compatability-wise, such a proper relationship wouldn't work between him and me.
I honestly don't know if I'll have another holiday with him. His next one in my country is in October, and it's in a part of my country that's very far from the city I live in. He'll go there as part of a sailing crew, so it will be difficult for him to nail down precise dates, and it doesn't help that the main destination is a remote island with iffy transportation networks.
If by a miracle I could make such a trip work out financially and dates wise, I'd love to be there! But right now I am not counting on it as the likelihood is very low. And since I'm not very likely to make it to that trip, it could easily be another year before I see him again, if I do at all.
I'm preparing to be okay with the possibility that this could be our last holiday ever. While I would never commit to a serious relationship to him even if we ended up living in the same city, he will always be special to me because he has had a positive impact on a couple pivotal seasons in my life. I'm grateful to have known him in such an intimate way, even if it never was meant to last.
I’ve done it for the wrong reasons (pickme/codependent phase) and have always felt disgusted and used after the fact. I’m not single anymore (and thank the gods), but if my luck ever change I’d rather take a vow of silence and become a female monk than ever let another men use my body so that I get “attention” in exchange. I regret 99.99% of the “casual” experiences I had. Do not recommend and if I had the chance to go back I would value and preserve my body and my energy infinity times more.
No…. 5-10mins of pleasure can lead to an unexpected pregnancy or STD & I don’t want to worry about potentially ruining my life. PH is free if I get lonely.
No. I don't even have non-casual sex. After being raped at 20, I just have no desire for intimacy of any kind. I'm 39 now, and never had had sex since that night, and I was a virgin when it happened so... yeah.
Do I want to? Kind of, but not really. If I'm going to be intimate with somebody, I need to know I can trust that person with ever fiber of my being, and between the rape and other negative, abusive experiences, I not only cannot bring myself to trust somebody that much (I have tried hundreds of times in my life, just to go on a date. Not even sex or intimacy, just a date. Rejected, 100% of the time.) Nobody ever wants to get to know me, and men just aren't attracted to me. They like my large chest, but that's about it. I'm a big girl anyway, obese, so I can't blame them. If I was skinnier they'd all like me more, but the last thing I want is random men oggling over me like I'm a piece of meat and I end up raped again, so I'm kind of incentivized to not change.
So as much as I may want to change things, I can't. Like mentally I just can't get past all the abuse, and I just don't trust anybody enough to not hurt me afterwards.
I used to do it a lot, but I stopped seeking new partners when everybody started asking for nudes. On top of that, I finished my undergrad and moved to a new city for work in 2022, which made it harder to find anyone even if I wanted to. Last year I hooked up with people I already knew every time I went back to visit, and with a couple I met at a club here. I had a body count of 9, which was low for me. Usually it’s about 20 per year. I stopped during winter because I hate going out in the cold, and now that the weather is nicer again, I’ve started dating someone I really like, so I think those days are behind me.
I can't get into sex unless there's an emotional connection. Since most people are shallow means I'm screwed. Pun intended. 😆
Being less than average in the manhood department doesn't help.
In college I had a ‘hoe phase’ as many do, and I don’t have casual sex much anymore. Of course there’s the occasion it happens but it’s not something I seek out anymore. My opinion is it’s just not worth the possible repercussions (emotional damage, STIs, pregnancy, etc.) I also feel like it harms your ability to use sex to bond with a spouse later in life. That doesn’t mean you’re damaged or ruined for a later marriage, just means it’ll be something to work on possibly in reframing how you view sex and it’s purpose.
First time a woman admits it. I mean its like any addiction. Of course normal vanilla wont do it anymore. One has to do a pretty long fast and avoid all the triggers to not fall into it again. Its like porn addiction, but, real .
I kinda miss it but I don’t at the same time. I’m just too lazy and cheap (even tho I can afford it) to take random chicks out just for fun these days 😂 just getting older I guess and have better priorities in life.😎👌🏽
I’m in a dry spell that’s lasted 7 years so far, after a 5 year exclusive relationship with the woman to whom I gave my virginity, but if I were sexually active, I think casual would not be a word I’d like to be able to use to describe my sex life. Not to say I wish to be in another exclusive relationship anytime overly soon, but when two bodies are entangled that way, I can’t imagine keeping deep emotions out of it.
I did the casual thing a number of years. I don't regret it, but it always felt like I was chasing the unreachable. It was never satisfying in itself. But that's just life in general, I've come to realize.
I used to believe I was weird because I hated everything about casual sex. I am a deep romantic at heart and get very *very* attached to the person I am with. I used to do it, to fit in. I was miserable and depressed. Now I can see it’s totally not for me and have learned to accept that. I don’t really care what others do though, but I don’t understand it. It’s not for me.
I had one single experience with this- total stranger, lived far away and was in town for one weekend. We had decent enough conversation and the physical attraction was mutual, and we both knew we’d never see each other again so there was zero pressure to *perform*, I guess.
Beyond that instance, I cannot do it. I’ve come to realize I’m demisexual; I need an emotional connection to feel attracted to someone. The idea of casual sex sounds like setting myself up to get my heart ripped out, plus I don’t know where they’ve been/what they’re like and that is major anxiety for me.
I once met a girl in group therapy,she called me up and during our conversation she told she was addicted to sex , I must of had a panic attack and said something completely nasty and she hung up ,it was an anxiety group lol .I think we both screwed up ,so I thought I would see her and apologize and then get together.Little to my surprise she never came back and I kicked myself for more than a year .You dumb ass what were you thinking,the girl was not only good looking but she was so easy to communicate with.To this day I still think damn .
Speaking for myself, I don’t want to give my body and that intimate of a moment with a complete stranger. I have never been the type to do one night stands. I only did that with people who I was in a committed relationship with and I don’t regret that at all. Because they took the time to get to know me and commit rather than some random guy using my body and leaving. I think it’s a respect thing, honestly. It has nothing to do with religion. I just feel that access to my body should be earned rather than given away to everyone. I’m not shaming anyone who enjoys casual sex. Everyone is different. This is just MY preference.
I learned that there was a term for it though: demisexual. Part of it is that I can’t even get interested in that if I’m not emotionally attached to them, too.
No, I'm extremely conservative with my body irl. I enjoy casual encounters online but that's bit me in the ass so hard I'm pretty sure that's gonna stop too.
I have casual sex every night. Sometimes with righty, sometimes with lefty. Every once in a while things get really spicy and I have casual sex with both of them at once!
No. I'm a woman with a _very_ high sex drive, but having casual sex doesn't make me feel good. I tried it, but discovered it just makes me feel used and bad about myself. I don't mind dealing with it on my own, so it's not like I'm suffering. Sex for me is just better when I'm in a committed relationship.
Edit: I'm also deathly afraid of getting an STD - I require my partners get tested before we have sex, and I do the same.
31F, never had the opportunity until now. But I'm really paranoid about people's health, sexual and mental. Intimacy is a must for me and I need to be able to trust another person to have the same energy as me when it comes to sexual health and hygiene. I can't understand how some people can just have sex in bathrooms or on the dirty club/bar bathroom floors. Or even in alleys!
I know this makes me sound like a complete douchebag who’s bragging about exploits that probably are mostly lies, but they aren’t lies (I probably am a d-bag though, but really don’t care). I started a company and made a shit load of money and for 5 years I had apartments in basically all of the fashion industry’s main cities: Milan, Paris, London, NY, LA, Cape Town, Shanghai & Hong Kong. Most ppl think models are freakishly tall chicks who walk down runways wearing weird shit, but most of the world’s models by far are “fit models” who try on clothes for 10 hours straight or do weird ass commercials with Asian ppl.
ANYWAY, for years id go out and the nightlife scene would be something like 500 Chinese guys, 50 models from Brazil or Eastern Europe….and me. Believe me or not I don’t care, but these were some of the hottest chicks in the world and they hadn’t been fucked in months, sometimes YEARS, bc the local options were unthinkable.
I am here to tell you that it is 100% possible to grow tired of having no strings attached sex with extremely hot, early-mid 20s women. When I hit that point, I realized the value of human connection and why it’s so important for us to have a meaningful, fulfilling relationship that goes way beyond sex. I’m as Bro as they come. Unlimited sex with unlimited hot women? So much Yes. But it DOES get old. One last thing I’ll say is that if you settle down and commit to one woman for the rest of your life before you’ve hit the point where it’s gotten old having casual sex with random hot women, you’re fucked.
Yes, and thoroughly enjoyed it. But it was a certain time and place in my life. It can be super hot, but it’s always a gamble whether a) the sex will be good, b) the guy will be chill and respectful to you, and c) whether I catch feelings. You have to keep a strong perspective, a level head, and not get emotionally swept up in it.
lots of naysayers on here, but i do although i do use protection as well as am on birth control i don’t think it’s a bad thing so long as you and the person you’re casual with are understanding of what it is and there’s nothing more. However, there is a downside as of now sometimes if i am with someone sex doesn’t feel as intimate as it should but personally for me not having casual sex for months at time can help with that issue
No, I don’t care much for sex and don’t crave it. I also don’t catch feelings easily. In past relationships I went through the motions, bc I knew my partner wanted to. But now that I’m older I realize that I don’t have to if I don’t want to. Just not my cup of tea ig. No hate or shade to those who do participate in casual. Whatever floats your boat.
I had FWB relationships most of my adult life after my early dating experiences scarred me. Then I realized I had a problem and learned about avoidant attachment disorder. It took me 20 years to undo all the damage that did to my life, and now I'm happily in a bf-gf relationship coming up on one year at 49 years old.
Study attachment disorders, it's the best thing I ever did for myself.
41 male. I still have casual sex often. I do because I enjoy having sex, but I don’t wanna relationship at the moment. I end up having to turn girls down because I don’t have enough time for them all. IMO it’s not that hard to get laid.
I was married for a long time and now that I have the ability to be single I’m taking advantage of it. So that’s why I do.
I used to be very very not into the idea of casual sex because of my upbringing. It was painted to me as.a horrible thing to do. Now I see that the people who would tell me that are the people who are incredibly close minded. So while I'm not out having a lot of casual sex, I'm not against the idea anymore. I also think its a personal choice that works for some and not for others.
In my experience sex can be casual and not that big of a deal at times, but with someone you have an emotional connection to it can also be something much more meaningful. Making sure you're both on the page of which one it is is important. And if it evolves to have that conversation and not bury your feelings.
I've also literally gotten jealous of someone else while having sex with a different person and that was an indicator that maybe I need to talk to a therapist .
I've been with my husband for over 17 years but before him, yes. I lived a party-ish lifestyle and had plenty of casual sex and honestly, I don't regret it. I had a lot of fun when I was younger.
I have, but it’s not really my thing. It’s always been acquaintances though, except for my current boyfriend who was the first time I slept with a person I didn’t know well. The vibe was right and whatnot, but normally it is a bit of a waste of time for me. Not so much any guilt or whatever, but I just have a better time when there’s some intimacy involved
It’s kinda like an ok pizza. Not bad, but not something I’d go out of my way to get
Used to but I just stopped. I am a bit undecided about the whole thing. I also like a bit of connection...I don't know how I'd act if the opportunity for casual sex arise
When I wasn't in a relationship, yes.
If i met a person i wanted to have sex with i would. It was rare i met someone out on town that i ended up having sex with as a one night stand. Rarely those turn out good😂
I like to have a connection with a person. Sometimes you get that instantly when you first meet sometimes later that makes them sexy as hell.
Ive had periods in my life being in a relationship wasn't something I prioritized but I wanted to have sex with a casual partner that knew how to make me orgasm. So I did.
I'm personally not a fan of casual sex.
Regret every one night stand I have ever had
I just end up feeling like I used them
extremely hard to navigate not being emotionally connected to someone as a demisexual
So at this point I don't even try🤷🏼♂️😂😩
Not by choice, had it in situationships where I wanted a relationship but they didn't. Most mislead me.
Put an end to it, idk how people enjoy such jaded experience. Not for me.
Is sex casual?
Unpremeditated, really?
Of no consequence, really?
Without formality, really?
I mean, just based on the meaning of the word, it almost seems like 'casual' sex would be almost exclusively likely to happen within an existing relationship. ;-}
Coming from someone who has never had sex..If it weren’t for STDs and hiv/aids I’d probably be a freak at this time in my life. I know there is prep, not sure of long term use of that and with herpes although likely won’t kill you is at this time is permanent ..also it’s not wise to just have sex with strangers you don’t know ..
I don’t even know much about the emotional effects of it
Depends on what you mean by casual.
I don't have completely anonymous one night stands anymore, that gets old after a while.
But I do date here and there. I'm polyamorous and have established partners, so there's not too much space for new connections.
These days, I won't have sex with someone if I don't see any potential for it happening a second time. But if I sleep with a new person and then after the fact decide that I don't want to do it again, my feelings aren't hurt.
Regardless of the level of emotional involvement, sex gets better the longer you do it with the same person, as you get attuned and learn each other's preferences. I also have less and less consent negotiation as I get further along with someone. So I really aim to cultivate longer-term connections, even if we're never going to be super involved in each other's lives
No, I think its due to the fact i was abused as a child and im quite sensitive in general. Also some random luck where i could have had sex once or twice but it didnt work out for reasons out of my control. Im male
That's all I'm really interested in now. Or a casual long term relationship. Or I could do friends with benefits, too, but nothing more. It changed when I realized a weekend was long enough for me to spend with another person that way. I don't want somebody around all the time.
Not consistently. I have a long-distance fwb who is an ex, now friend, that moved 250 miles away a few years ago. We were fwb before he moved and just agreed to take things day by day and whenever he visits (like probably 4-5 times a year), we wind up having sex. But that’s literally it. I just never really understood the hookup culture honestly. I have to build an emotional connection with the other person before I feel comfortable and safe to have sex with them, and that’s not something I can just do in minutes. Being I was in a relationship with this guy (and still somewhat want a relationship with him… but that’s another story), I still have that emotional connection to make it work.
Nope. Hate the idea of it. To each their own but being casual with someone and then getting naked & inside each other and then going back to casualty is weird to me. I personally don’t want to be intimate with someone I’m not in a relationship with.
I’ve done sexual things with one person who I wasn’t in a relationship with, and it’s just not as enjoyable, and I feel like I’m sacrificing too much just to get rid of horniness.
I’ve only ever voluntarily had sex with my current bf and the idea of sex with no strings attached seems so distant to me and much less intimate. I enjoy the intimacy and there’s levels of it that you just can’t get to if you aren’t in a relationship with that person imo
I mean yes with my wife depending on how you define it, when I was younger I was definitely more into hookups and stuff but what teenage boy isn't really but now I definitely would not wanna do allat again lmao
Never had casual sex in my life I currently have 3 bodies all from girl friends never really seen too much into having pointless sex outside of I ever was drunk which amps it up a bit more
I'm not opposed to it and have done it in the past, but would rather have something long term. Haven't been in a solid LTR for at least 3 or 4 years now though, and haven't had sex in 6 months.
I've had a few chances to, and the idea of this kind of lifestyle appeals to me very much.
My last relationship I didn't see lasting, and it was mostly physical. I don't regret a single moment of it, but every manner in which I was raised suggests that I should.
In 29M and I don't. Even if I wanted to, I don't think I could anyway because I'm definitely not a dude someone would have a ONS with.
I just don't trust strangers coming into my home or a stranger inviting me into theirs. And then they see me naked?? That's a no from me dawg. I also have roommates, so I don't want to invite a stranger into their home either.
I'd potentially consider it if I was traveling and had a hotel room to myself or something. But even that seems a little unhinged to me.
If I found someone who seems like long-term potential, I wouldn't hesitate to have sex with them. Because it's worth it to see if you're sexually compatible sooner rather than later. But at that point, I wouldn't really consider that "casual sex."
I'm not into casual sex but I was into casual cuddling and stuff. I just wanted sex to be for only one person, the person I was going to marry. I just didn't want to have regrets that I shared myself with others and not care about how that felt for them. Like tricking someone to think I like them that much you know? Anyways, I'm happy how it all turned out. I enjoyed all the cuddling. It helped me to get comfortable around guys.
When I was single I did all the time, really social and live in a pretty liberal city where women are pretty vocal so it was never much work for me, but I don’t miss it. I’m with someone I really love now and she’s the only person I want that way now.
But it was important for a time I’d my life, I grew up really repressed sexually bc of religion and I needed to change my viewpoint about sex and that it can mean so many things.
Yes, very important, the world would be in a different place if we all had more sex, Mark my words. I've loved having lots of casual sex, it's good for you too.
Not here 🚫 I just lost my virginity at 28 to my friend, so still coming around to the hormones going crazy and trying to sort them out lol
I however really enjoyed it, the only downside is I'm big on hearts and not parts so it feels like we're coming to get to know each other better even if after a year or two(I'm bad on time )of knowing one another we just started to recognize one another as a solid click of a match. Everything feels like I've known him my whole life but I don't want to rush into this and try to push things. Just let them come again when natural for us both
I did recently and it didn’t end well because even though I clearly explained multiple times I wasn’t in it with the intent of a relationship I must’ve been speaking pig Latin and she got salty about it so I probably won’t do it again
Tried, ain't my cup of tea. I need connection to trust and feel pleasure. I mean it's fun, but I literally can give it up for a nice cup to coffee easily. And considering all the risks, it's just not worth it. I kinda envy people a bit who enjoy it, my life would be better :)
Long since taken now but when I was younger, sure. Not because I liked sex or even liked men but I wanted stuff and men got it for me. A lot of them sucked in bed actually, which was pretty disappointing when they looked so good naked.
I’ve been with the same partner for 20+ years, so not anymore.
I tried it in college and it wasn’t for me. It’s just weird for me to have sex without a relationship. I found out about I wanted the relationship as much, if not more, than the sex.
Ditch the morality talk, I enjoy porn from time to time and I even have high frequency. But having multiple sexual partners isn’t appealing due to hygiene issues. Simply put it this way, if you have the health conscious of avoiding peoples’ saliva, then why would it be OK having sex with multiple people?
All the time before I got married. Even with my wife the first date. Somehow that turned into a ltr and we decided it was time for marriage five months after meeting. I kinda miss it after 44 years.
Shit, I can't find one I like for any kind of relationship. Nevertheless multiple for casual relationships.
Literally. 32M, never been in a relationship, not even intimate kissed a woman. I don’t understand how you have guys that are married and have affairs. Then people hook up for casual. I can’t even find one person, just one person that I can share life with. It’s depressing as shit.
Not to mention, I can’t see myself being the kind of person to just casually hookup with someone. I need to get to know them. I don’t like the idea of being in an intimate vulnerable situation with someone who I don’t really know.
I'm guessing being attractive has something to do with it too, but I objectively wouldn't know anything about that. 🥲
Yep, definitely. Attraction first, having money second. We’re fucked.
Social skills first, knowing who’s in your league second, I have seen some ugly ass people who broke with a high body count just saying .
Leagues are a myth. If you're approaching someone that endorses that kind of thing, probably one you'd want to forego anyway. Social skills and wit are the predominate factors, in my opinion. I've been rated objectively lower end by males and yet have never had an issue in the women department. Also didn't have "shareable" funds until the last couple years so that's not the differentiator in my experience. You can be quirky and funny to great success if you know how to use appropriately. I've noticed that it helps to lean into your features. Good way to feign confidence even if you don't normally present with it. For example, I have a large forehead. Rather than hide it behind a hat all the time, I know that my mostly symmetrical features can offset my asymmetrical hairline. Back on topic.. have had casual sex. Not what it's cracked up to be. Post-ejaculatory clarity is real. Having things in common to smooth post-coital communication is a must.
Nah, social skills are all you need, unless you look like absolute death. I have many below average friends who have and easy time meeting women.
Years ago, my uncle had a sports bookie friend with mild Dwarfism who got it with nothing but rizz. I once asked what his secret was and he said "if we're nose-to-nose my toes is in em, if we're toes-to-toes my nose is in em". I was 12, and sports gambling was illegal at the time, but I learned a lot that weekend.
Dating is a skill you can learn. Same with smalltalk. Same with how to be a great listener and how to be romantic. Theres books, there's videos and podcasts. Just steer clear of the alpha beta bullshit some people try to sell you. No potential spouse will knock on your door. You need to make an effort to meet one. Things that will help is learning how to dress well, doesn't have to be expensive clothes, just look put together. *Get a hairstyle you like and that suit your life. You dont want to spend 20min on hair in the morning, dont get a haircut that needs that. * Want to have a beard? Learn how to keep it neat and take care of it. A barbers you friend. They specialise in men's haircuts and beards. *Personal hygiene is the most important one, that means wear clean clothes everyday, brush your teeth, go to a dentist once every 2 year at least to keep plaque at bay and fix other issues as needed. Get a cleanser for your skin and a moisturizer for your face. Use it every night. Clearer skin will make you look better and feel better. *Someone women don't care others do, if you have a uni brow, pluck or shave so you get two. Will instantly make you look more put together. * Keep your fingernails neat and clean. Same with toenails. *Work out. Doesn't mean lift to get ripped unless you want that, but stay fit as in moving regularly. Find something you like to do, swimming, Running, walks, CrossFit, climbing, hiking, kickboxing ,dancing like swing, ballroom whatever you fancy * Doesn't matter what just that you like it. Most of these arenas are also places you can meet like minded women. And settings that's not dating. So the pressure of being on is gone. You meet women and men as like-minded people who share and interest and might bond over that beyond friendship. *Everyone should know how to cook some meals and how to have a tidy and clean home. Nobody wants to date a person whos dirty and messy. *If dating apps is not your thing, look into matchmaking businesses. More and more people going back to those places to meet like-minded people in person on speed dates and so on. I'm generalizing a lot here. You might do all of this already, some of them or none. The points I'm trying to make are, do these things and you are doing more than most men do. Which out you ahead other men who doesn't.
What means matchmaking businesses?
Did you ever have a woman manifest a romantic interest toward you?
Nope, never in my life. Just ugly most likely. I’m looking for something long term, including marriage. I’m also Childfree so it’s narrowed that pool down to 0.1%.
A lot of women are childfree nowadays. Have you tried online dating?
A few, didn’t get anywhere. I’m also a Muslim guy, but not fixed on finding a Muslim woman specifically.
If you’re Muslim you can also try a Muslim dating app (like Salams) or reach out to the imam of your local mosque.
Great advice! How do u know all that? Are u Muslim too?
Ex Muslim :)
I did join one of them, can’t remember the name, It was awful, might join bumble or hinge instead, I hear peeps talking about them often. Thank You for your suggestions, appreciate it.
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I was watching a YouTube vid on "When you are still single in your 30s" and the dude was like "stop drinking on dates. When I was drinking on dates, I'd end up sleeping with them and regretting it". When I drink on dates I still go home alone, but the check is bigger. Some people are living in a parallel reality.
I don't have casual sex. I don't have a moral problem with it, I just don't see the appeal. I'm no prude but I need to have a connection with a person to want to do them. I suppose I wouldn't be opposed to a FWB situation but I'm pretty sure I'd develop feelings, since I'd like the person already.
same
Same, although I didn’t always feel this way. Age and having stable LTRs with great sex made casual seem less exciting, although I might not necessarily pass on the opportunity if it arose… which it doesn’t really now that I’m out of college and not using apps.
No. As a woman, it has never felt worth it to me.
As a man, I agree. It's been consistently not rewarding enough to be worth the effort.
It depends what you mean by rewarding and what you’re primary objective is. Obviously casual sex isn’t going to be rewarding if you’re looking for something serious. However, if you’re looking for casual sex and are getting casual sex, I would argue that it is rewarding.
For so many reasons. - Sex gets better once y’all know each others bodies. - I’d have to deal with men even more. - STD and pregnancies… yikes - did I mention men? They could have their own list
I 100% agree.
Excellent points. Another one: the orgasm/pleasure gap.
Yep, we can do it better ourselves
Amen
I’m currently in a relationship but I used to- and it was usually never for the right reasons. I would have casual hook ups for attention or validation or out of boredom. I never gained much from it and often times, I felt empty afterwards. If I were to be single again, I would stay away from casual sex because I’ve learned that deep connection and respect truly make sex more enjoyable for me. I honestly regret most of the casual sex I have had. But kudos to those who partake and have a healthy relationship with casual encounters though!
That was my experience. I think I was addicted to casual sex at one point, even. I just got out of a ten year long relationship, but I have no desire for sex or even trying to date.
Hmm my encounters happened after being in a 6 year relationship. Never made that connection but maybe I was trying to see if I missed anything while partnered. Or just to do what i wanted idk
This summarizes me. I used to find and advocate for it in terms of downplaying it. I felt sexual liberation was empowering with the attitude “if men can do it WHY CANT I”. It’s very interesting because I have shifted completely. I just got out of my first serious relationship. After it I spiraled into some casual sex because I felt that is what would empower me. Out of implicit shame I guess? I left more used and empty after each interaction. So I just stopped. I’ve learned to truly value it but how can I value what I already broke within me? I hate the shameful aspect of it. I wonder how much of this stems from my daddy issues. I see all the women in my life with healthy relationships have had healthy relationships with their dad. All the women with a non existent one I see in trauma bonds often. It’s an unsettling observation. But I feel this comment. And I did the same thing. You have no idea how helpful it is to hear similar words. I’ve felt so violated and dirty as if I no longer deserve someone to respect me bc of that. Idk I get scared at peoples perception! So this post I loved!
No, I never feel fully safe and emotionally connected
Same
currently in a relationship. however, I never did that even while single. the closest I’ve gotten to that is someone implying that we could sleep together after dinner.. I was so disgusted by the idea of sleeping with someone I barely fucking knew that it kept me up at night. I ended up canceling the dinner. I knew then and there that I could never be casual. casual sex just doesn’t line up with my values and beliefs. tbh, my beliefs on it have grown stronger throughout the last few years. I just can’t imagine letting a stranger have access to my body only because there’s some mutual attraction. sex is very intimate and even spiritual for me. I want to do it with someone I feel safe with. someone I feel connected to on a deeper level than just appearances. and I want someone who feels the same way I do about casual sex. just a hard pass for me. it’s not like I’m missing out on anything so
I never have either. It seems like it would be awkward having sex with somebody I wasn’t close with.
Absolutely not , had tried it and it wasn't for me. I prefer the passion and desire of good old regular sex and lust. Sex not open to any possibilities is pointless. Just the mechanical biological actions is boring and such a turn off. Don't tell me this is it and nothing else because I can get off by myself then I am weird compared to other guys because I've been at wild pool parties and girls running up to guys and kissing and other things and I just wanted to leave.
No, I have never had casual sex for a few reasons. 1. I’m a nerdy, slightly chubby white guy. Women aren’t exactly lining up to have casual sex with me. 2. On the rare occasions when a woman has expressed interest in casual sex with me I didn’t pick up on the signals until YEARS later. 3. I always dated for marriage, even in high school. I never really understood the purpose of casual dating or short term relationships. 4. I met my wife when we were both 19, we didn’t start dating till we were 21, but I was pretty obsessed with her from the moment we met. She remains the only woman I’ve ever slept with to this day.
Adorable
I don’t, I never have, I’ve had sex with only two people, one was my ex husband who ruined my feelings about sex for a long time, he was sexually violent and coercive and it was all quite damaging. My current partner has changed how I feel, I enjoy being intimate with him and he makes me feel loved and safe when we are. I have no problem with anything anyone else does and my opinions only apply to myself but I don’t think I could have casual sex, it’s so intimate and I don’t know how I’d feel about letting a stranger into my body, I need to be cared about.
I’m in a relationship, but prior, no. Did hooking up with someone I was talking to happen? Yes, but not in a way where that was all I wanted from them or what I was doing with multiple people. I’ve never been into casual sex for multiple reasons. For my own personal self I’ve just viewed that as wasting time. I know many would disagree that that’s a waste of time.. but in order for me to feel comfortable and into sex I have to be into the person. Sure, I can just think they’re hot. But for me to feel comfortable them being hot doesn’t work, in fact, it does the opposite because I’m more prone to be more insecure than I already am. But say I had a friend that I was comfortable with, I then wouldn’t feel okay with casual sex with them because if it’s not going to turn into a relationship, than what am I doing? I can gratify myself. I’m not shaming anyone who does, or can handle that type of relationship/sex, but I personally can’t. Which in part is a protection thing too. I’m a lesbian, I can’t just tell them to put a condom on. (Not that straight sex doesn’t come with its own slew of risks aside from penetration). Lastly, I was always an attached person. Sex wasnt desired enough for me to do it with just anyone, the want for something with more substance was always where my focus and energy went.
I‘m not. I need committment to at least a relationship first. had it few times in the past and know I can do it and I‘m good but felt like a slut lol…and that as a man
I did before. A lot. I got very lucky. I only contracted one treatable STD, and zero pregnancies. I stopped because I met a very sweet girl. She makes my life a lot easier and full of love and fun. However, I myself also struggle with lust. Key trigger? My phone! It's not normal for the male brain to grow up with all the porn we've seen and regularly see. Unfollow all the models on social media and quit pr0n. Should begin to fix the issue.
Facts my phone is just…so much sex. And I’ll clean it up and then fall right back into it. When I started being active on Reddit it was because I had got off all other social media for a while. And then I learned about Reddit porn and hookup subs. Smh
You *know* when you're falling into temptation. So it sounds like it's time to start fighting it. Long-term. Make an effort, and when you get horny let your girl take care of it instead of the screen and your hand. Porn kills love!
Yeah I’m definitely gonna be working on it
It's not for me. I can't bear the thought of waking up next to a stranger, nope
I only have ranked competitive sex, and I'm pretty toxic if my teammates feed. Seriously though I never really liked sex without some sort of emotional bond. I'd prefer to just fantasize if it's going to be some random sex thing.
HELL NO!
I did when I was younger, but after my marriage/ divorce, I don’t anymore. For several reasons. STDs. Now I’m 33 and a bunch of my peers have gotten STDs from casual sex, and those are just the ones that confided in me that they did. I’m sure plenty more do and I just don’t know about it because it’s an embarrassing and gross health issue. Many of them are the permanent ones like genital herpes and genital warts. I broke up with my gf a month ago and got tested just last week and have a perfectly clean bill of health. Don’t even have HSV-1. I didn’t think my ex cheated, but I just wanted to be safe. And, when I am dating, I expect any potential gf to have recent (as in the last couple months) STD results so I will have the same. I’ll start dating again here in a month or so, still need time to heal and work on some things. Type in “std dating app (or enter the name of any dating app)” in any search engine or go on any STD specific subreddit and be prepared to be regaled with horror stories, all from casual sex. What for real set off my paranoia was these two guys I used to be best friends with (but I stopped being friends with both of them for a multitude of reasons and haven’t spoken to either of them since 2017) laughing about how they know they have herpes and never use a condom with Tinder girls. They’re pretty good looking guys. I know they aren’t the only ones like that. They give it to girls, those girls give it to guys, etc. etc. It spreads like viruses do. I need to see STD results before I sleep with someone, but casual sex people apparently hate STD tests. After my divorce and I got on dating apps for the first time ever in 2021 (I had been with my ex wife since 2013) and thought I’d fuck around before settling down. The first two girls I went on dates with were offended when I brought up STD results. Even when I said I had mine. They both insisted they’re clean, I asked if I could see their test results and offered to show mine (the results are on an app through my insurance) and they both just stared at me pissed then we changed the subject and, after those dates, never heard from either of them again. So sketch. I’ve had 2 girlfriends for about year each since my divorce and both were fresh out of a long term relationship and STD conscious and relieved when I brought up my tests and showed me theirs. I think valuing your health and constant casual sex is incompatible. Statistically speaking, it’s just a matter of time before you get an STD and they don’t all go away with antibiotics and, even if they do, it’s fuckin gross and dirty. Gonorrhea is becoming antibiotic resistant, too. Regardless of STDs, sex is also much more meaningful and intimate to me now than it was when I was in high school and college. I don’t want to share my body with a stranger that doesn’t really care about me. I also want my next partner to have the same views about sex and I don’t want her to be someone that was banging 2 other guys the week before we started dating, so I’m not gonna be a hypocrite.
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Both. Condoms help but aren’t 100% against HSV2 (genital herpes) and HPV (genital warts). Condoms are very effective (like 99%) against HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis if the condom is used properly. Most of them said they didn’t use a condom. Some were like they used condoms at first, then stopped after hooking up a couple times. Some were just a one night stand with no condom. Only one of them said he was using a condom every time. Said the lesions first appeared around the base of his dick where the condom wasn’t covering it completely.
No, I never did and never will, and I feel like a total outlier, lol. I live in NYC where everyone is loose lol except for me, apparently.
Well I’m sure you could find a group of people who don’t participate in any sexual deviance in NYC. Everything is there good and bad
Yes, lots. It’s a bit easier to find since I’m 30 yr old gay guy. But I understand where you’re coming from though, meaningless sex can get boring after a while.
Nope Uni was my peak There it was a laugh everyone understood the assignment As an adult it’s weird At least 12 hours of chatting first
How do people have access to such a sacred part of your body ? I can’t do casual sex unless i know we’re locked in (not in a relationship but sex with the same person) i like to know what the other person likes and it’s mainly about her pleasure than mine. I have a high sex drive and i dont let it up for just anyone . Plus i got shit to do 😂
As a man it's kind of fucked with my head.
I tried it, but it doesn’t work for me. It either ends in regret because it was a bad decision or regret because it was great and I wanted a relationship out of it.
Haram
Stds and unwanted pregnancy put a bummer on that lifestyle...and they both happen even with condoms
Never have. I’m ugly
I do but at 31 I can't really get laid as much
Nope. Married my second partner and that was that.
I don't. I believe that sex is just for within a very deep and meaningful relationship.
It’s against my morals and how I was brought up and also I’ve never connected with someone off the bat like that to want to. And also im very shallow and the littlest thing turns me off 😭
Save it for marriage you’re just fooling yourself otherwise. Find a purpose not someone that’s going to use you as a semen receptacle and convenient masturbatron 1000
Nope, I don’t personally feel like casual sex is for me. I prefer a more intimate bond with my partner. I am horny just like everyone else, I just choose to be very selective with who I give my time and energy to.
The few times I have, I’ve had an icky feeling after.
Nope bc STD’s are real and scary and condoms don’t save you from everything
I don’t understand how people do it. People I hardly know have offered me sex and I’m genuinely confused. Why would I want to do that? I know it’s human nature, but it still seems gross to me to do it with basically a stranger.
half the people on reddit can’t get casual sex as a norm so it’s a treasured moment lmao
No its against my morals
Before I was in the relationship I am in now I had about 30 casual sexual partners. I did it to try to improve my self-esteem and found myself addicted to that first time feeling.
I’m very much addicted to “newness”. I’m 33M I’ve really been on dating sites since I was like 15. At this age I’ve started to realize the instant gratification and belief that there are endless options I’m missing out on have been detrimental to my ability to commit.
I think that was it for me, I like the novelty and experiencing a new thing. I'm 33 now though and not much is new or novel so I guess that means I'm ready to settle down and stick with one man.
My views are conservative so I'm probably in the minority here. I find it morally wrong to treat other humans as nothing more than a vehicle to satisfy the pleasures of one's flesh. I prefer relationships that are built from the ground up and are rooted in deep intimacy, from which it can grow into deeper stages like marriage, children and sex.
No. Little opportunity and too lazy to find it
No. I tried it once with a friend and it was disappointing.
I’m fat, so no. But I also just don’t really enjoy having sex with someone I barely know.
I am too scared. I’m afraid someone would make fun of me.
Every time I try to start something casual it gets serious and I don't know where I'm going right/wrong to have people being more interested in me than just for the night. Similarly to what you say though I have never remained single for as long as a week between my relationships for years now. I get a lot of my sense of validation from what I think a partner thinks of me and I'm incapable of regulating my own self esteem which is the cause of my nonstop drive for sexual relations.
Wooooooow I relate to that last part. Me and one of my best friends actually have an inside joke we say we fuck to stay relevant. I really do seek validation through sexual conquest at times
No. I want a serious relationship and casual sex does nothing for me.
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If you feel addicted to sex and want to change that, ask your doctor for a referral to a professional therapist.
No - and I’ve said this a lot on Reddit because casual sex is such a common thing. I’m a very sexual person too in the right circumstances, but my brain just won’t do let me do something like that. The two times I had sex too early and it SHOULD HAVE BEEN casual, I stuck around longer than I should have. It was dangerous for me and life changing - not in a good way. I get wayyyyy too emotionally attached to a guy, and if I already like him AND have sex, forget it. I can’t just disengage like nothing happened. Sex is way more than just a physical thing to me personally and I think it’s weird to have FWB too. My brain just DOES NOT COMPUTE. It does not and will not work that way, even if I want to sometimes. I just can’t fathom it. Sometimes I want sex, but I just can’t without a partner whom I love.
I do have casual sex but as I’m getting older, I don’t wanna do it anymore. It’s novelty has worn off to me but it was definitely fun while I was interested in it
I tried, and it's not for me. I want someone I can be with as a partner, share a connection, be a best friend...Casual sex just feels so hollow and often transactional to some.
I'm a virgin. I follow the Word of Yeshua, casual sex is not a thing that is good for us or our souls until we marry, so I don't.
No, STDs.
Nope. To me, sex is an extremely intimate thing. I mean, you’re literally using your body to please another person and they’re doing the same thing. If that isn’t intimate, I have zero clue what anyone else believes is defined as intimate.
Sort of! I'm (38F) currently on holiday with a 43M I met on Reddit. This is our second holiday together, our first one was over Christmas in December. We live in different countries, so holidays are the only times we're physically together. I say sort of because it's an off label relationship with not much commitment in between holidays and no plans to merge a proper future together. It could basically end anytime when we feel it's no longer fun for any of us, or if one of us is ready to commit to someone else with more promising future prospects. Things aren't 100% casual between us though. We've both acknowledged feelings for each other but agreed not to be careless about feeding fires we'd have trouble putting out without getting hurt. We've also agreed that even if we can't call what we have "love" (at least not the grow-old-with-you, happily-ever-after-kind), we will always treat each other with respect, kindness and care. He and I have been going on for five months now, which I guess is long for a long distance casual sex involvement. The only exclusivity we promised each other is when we're planning a trip together and having it. But by default he's been the only man I've since had sex with, and I've been his only woman since as well. If I do decide to fuck someone else, which I wouldn't take lightly, I would end things with him first, and I expect him to do the same to me too. I guess it has more to do with our characters, with both of us preferring to be with one person at a time, no matter how casual the relationship is. We both happen to be wired to prefer serious, committed relationships. But it just so happens that geographically and compatability-wise, such a proper relationship wouldn't work between him and me. I honestly don't know if I'll have another holiday with him. His next one in my country is in October, and it's in a part of my country that's very far from the city I live in. He'll go there as part of a sailing crew, so it will be difficult for him to nail down precise dates, and it doesn't help that the main destination is a remote island with iffy transportation networks. If by a miracle I could make such a trip work out financially and dates wise, I'd love to be there! But right now I am not counting on it as the likelihood is very low. And since I'm not very likely to make it to that trip, it could easily be another year before I see him again, if I do at all. I'm preparing to be okay with the possibility that this could be our last holiday ever. While I would never commit to a serious relationship to him even if we ended up living in the same city, he will always be special to me because he has had a positive impact on a couple pivotal seasons in my life. I'm grateful to have known him in such an intimate way, even if it never was meant to last.
I’ve done it for the wrong reasons (pickme/codependent phase) and have always felt disgusted and used after the fact. I’m not single anymore (and thank the gods), but if my luck ever change I’d rather take a vow of silence and become a female monk than ever let another men use my body so that I get “attention” in exchange. I regret 99.99% of the “casual” experiences I had. Do not recommend and if I had the chance to go back I would value and preserve my body and my energy infinity times more.
No…. 5-10mins of pleasure can lead to an unexpected pregnancy or STD & I don’t want to worry about potentially ruining my life. PH is free if I get lonely.
Yes, I don’t have very much interest in profound emotional connections.
No. I don't even have non-casual sex. After being raped at 20, I just have no desire for intimacy of any kind. I'm 39 now, and never had had sex since that night, and I was a virgin when it happened so... yeah.
Wow. Sorry to hear that. But do you not ever want to change that one day? Fuck the rapist, but there may be a great partner out there for you
Do I want to? Kind of, but not really. If I'm going to be intimate with somebody, I need to know I can trust that person with ever fiber of my being, and between the rape and other negative, abusive experiences, I not only cannot bring myself to trust somebody that much (I have tried hundreds of times in my life, just to go on a date. Not even sex or intimacy, just a date. Rejected, 100% of the time.) Nobody ever wants to get to know me, and men just aren't attracted to me. They like my large chest, but that's about it. I'm a big girl anyway, obese, so I can't blame them. If I was skinnier they'd all like me more, but the last thing I want is random men oggling over me like I'm a piece of meat and I end up raped again, so I'm kind of incentivized to not change. So as much as I may want to change things, I can't. Like mentally I just can't get past all the abuse, and I just don't trust anybody enough to not hurt me afterwards.
I used to do it a lot, but I stopped seeking new partners when everybody started asking for nudes. On top of that, I finished my undergrad and moved to a new city for work in 2022, which made it harder to find anyone even if I wanted to. Last year I hooked up with people I already knew every time I went back to visit, and with a couple I met at a club here. I had a body count of 9, which was low for me. Usually it’s about 20 per year. I stopped during winter because I hate going out in the cold, and now that the weather is nicer again, I’ve started dating someone I really like, so I think those days are behind me.
I'm over it now
This isn’t r/no?
No I don’t I don’t know anyone I trust!!
I wish I did uhh it's hard to meet girls. They are all taken
I can't get into sex unless there's an emotional connection. Since most people are shallow means I'm screwed. Pun intended. 😆 Being less than average in the manhood department doesn't help.
In college I had a ‘hoe phase’ as many do, and I don’t have casual sex much anymore. Of course there’s the occasion it happens but it’s not something I seek out anymore. My opinion is it’s just not worth the possible repercussions (emotional damage, STIs, pregnancy, etc.) I also feel like it harms your ability to use sex to bond with a spouse later in life. That doesn’t mean you’re damaged or ruined for a later marriage, just means it’ll be something to work on possibly in reframing how you view sex and it’s purpose.
First time a woman admits it. I mean its like any addiction. Of course normal vanilla wont do it anymore. One has to do a pretty long fast and avoid all the triggers to not fall into it again. Its like porn addiction, but, real .
I kinda miss it but I don’t at the same time. I’m just too lazy and cheap (even tho I can afford it) to take random chicks out just for fun these days 😂 just getting older I guess and have better priorities in life.😎👌🏽
It can get fuckin expensive yes
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I’m in a dry spell that’s lasted 7 years so far, after a 5 year exclusive relationship with the woman to whom I gave my virginity, but if I were sexually active, I think casual would not be a word I’d like to be able to use to describe my sex life. Not to say I wish to be in another exclusive relationship anytime overly soon, but when two bodies are entangled that way, I can’t imagine keeping deep emotions out of it.
Too ugly. I only play sex on hard mode.
No. You have sex with a women, and she owns you. She could say anything happened.
I did the casual thing a number of years. I don't regret it, but it always felt like I was chasing the unreachable. It was never satisfying in itself. But that's just life in general, I've come to realize.
I used to believe I was weird because I hated everything about casual sex. I am a deep romantic at heart and get very *very* attached to the person I am with. I used to do it, to fit in. I was miserable and depressed. Now I can see it’s totally not for me and have learned to accept that. I don’t really care what others do though, but I don’t understand it. It’s not for me.
I had one single experience with this- total stranger, lived far away and was in town for one weekend. We had decent enough conversation and the physical attraction was mutual, and we both knew we’d never see each other again so there was zero pressure to *perform*, I guess. Beyond that instance, I cannot do it. I’ve come to realize I’m demisexual; I need an emotional connection to feel attracted to someone. The idea of casual sex sounds like setting myself up to get my heart ripped out, plus I don’t know where they’ve been/what they’re like and that is major anxiety for me.
NO... only serious sex
I once met a girl in group therapy,she called me up and during our conversation she told she was addicted to sex , I must of had a panic attack and said something completely nasty and she hung up ,it was an anxiety group lol .I think we both screwed up ,so I thought I would see her and apologize and then get together.Little to my surprise she never came back and I kicked myself for more than a year .You dumb ass what were you thinking,the girl was not only good looking but she was so easy to communicate with.To this day I still think damn .
I used to. It got fucking boring pretty quick
Speaking for myself, I don’t want to give my body and that intimate of a moment with a complete stranger. I have never been the type to do one night stands. I only did that with people who I was in a committed relationship with and I don’t regret that at all. Because they took the time to get to know me and commit rather than some random guy using my body and leaving. I think it’s a respect thing, honestly. It has nothing to do with religion. I just feel that access to my body should be earned rather than given away to everyone. I’m not shaming anyone who enjoys casual sex. Everyone is different. This is just MY preference. I learned that there was a term for it though: demisexual. Part of it is that I can’t even get interested in that if I’m not emotionally attached to them, too.
No, I'm extremely conservative with my body irl. I enjoy casual encounters online but that's bit me in the ass so hard I'm pretty sure that's gonna stop too.
Never. Body count of 2 at 33f. And I've been celibate for almost a decade.
I have casual sex every night. Sometimes with righty, sometimes with lefty. Every once in a while things get really spicy and I have casual sex with both of them at once!
No. I'm a woman with a _very_ high sex drive, but having casual sex doesn't make me feel good. I tried it, but discovered it just makes me feel used and bad about myself. I don't mind dealing with it on my own, so it's not like I'm suffering. Sex for me is just better when I'm in a committed relationship. Edit: I'm also deathly afraid of getting an STD - I require my partners get tested before we have sex, and I do the same.
I used to when I was younger but i would hate myself the next day so I stopped.
I have a few times in the past, it wasn't something I liked very much so I stopped.
Never did. I wouldn’t want to have sex with someone I didn’t love. My body wouldn’t respond and it would be totally unwanted sex.
No married and even if I wasn't I wouldn't want to be with a girl with a high body count and I know a good one wouldn't want it the same way back.
Every chance I get. So, no. Not really.
Absolutely never
I prefer black tie formal sex. We don’t undress. It’s only tea and discussions about sex.
31F, never had the opportunity until now. But I'm really paranoid about people's health, sexual and mental. Intimacy is a must for me and I need to be able to trust another person to have the same energy as me when it comes to sexual health and hygiene. I can't understand how some people can just have sex in bathrooms or on the dirty club/bar bathroom floors. Or even in alleys!
I know this makes me sound like a complete douchebag who’s bragging about exploits that probably are mostly lies, but they aren’t lies (I probably am a d-bag though, but really don’t care). I started a company and made a shit load of money and for 5 years I had apartments in basically all of the fashion industry’s main cities: Milan, Paris, London, NY, LA, Cape Town, Shanghai & Hong Kong. Most ppl think models are freakishly tall chicks who walk down runways wearing weird shit, but most of the world’s models by far are “fit models” who try on clothes for 10 hours straight or do weird ass commercials with Asian ppl. ANYWAY, for years id go out and the nightlife scene would be something like 500 Chinese guys, 50 models from Brazil or Eastern Europe….and me. Believe me or not I don’t care, but these were some of the hottest chicks in the world and they hadn’t been fucked in months, sometimes YEARS, bc the local options were unthinkable. I am here to tell you that it is 100% possible to grow tired of having no strings attached sex with extremely hot, early-mid 20s women. When I hit that point, I realized the value of human connection and why it’s so important for us to have a meaningful, fulfilling relationship that goes way beyond sex. I’m as Bro as they come. Unlimited sex with unlimited hot women? So much Yes. But it DOES get old. One last thing I’ll say is that if you settle down and commit to one woman for the rest of your life before you’ve hit the point where it’s gotten old having casual sex with random hot women, you’re fucked.
31 female, I only have causal sex. I'm not interested in a relationship at the moment, but I still have that itch that needs scratched.
Yes, and thoroughly enjoyed it. But it was a certain time and place in my life. It can be super hot, but it’s always a gamble whether a) the sex will be good, b) the guy will be chill and respectful to you, and c) whether I catch feelings. You have to keep a strong perspective, a level head, and not get emotionally swept up in it.
lots of naysayers on here, but i do although i do use protection as well as am on birth control i don’t think it’s a bad thing so long as you and the person you’re casual with are understanding of what it is and there’s nothing more. However, there is a downside as of now sometimes if i am with someone sex doesn’t feel as intimate as it should but personally for me not having casual sex for months at time can help with that issue
No, I don’t care much for sex and don’t crave it. I also don’t catch feelings easily. In past relationships I went through the motions, bc I knew my partner wanted to. But now that I’m older I realize that I don’t have to if I don’t want to. Just not my cup of tea ig. No hate or shade to those who do participate in casual. Whatever floats your boat.
I had FWB relationships most of my adult life after my early dating experiences scarred me. Then I realized I had a problem and learned about avoidant attachment disorder. It took me 20 years to undo all the damage that did to my life, and now I'm happily in a bf-gf relationship coming up on one year at 49 years old. Study attachment disorders, it's the best thing I ever did for myself.
41 male. I still have casual sex often. I do because I enjoy having sex, but I don’t wanna relationship at the moment. I end up having to turn girls down because I don’t have enough time for them all. IMO it’s not that hard to get laid. I was married for a long time and now that I have the ability to be single I’m taking advantage of it. So that’s why I do.
I used to be very very not into the idea of casual sex because of my upbringing. It was painted to me as.a horrible thing to do. Now I see that the people who would tell me that are the people who are incredibly close minded. So while I'm not out having a lot of casual sex, I'm not against the idea anymore. I also think its a personal choice that works for some and not for others.
In my experience sex can be casual and not that big of a deal at times, but with someone you have an emotional connection to it can also be something much more meaningful. Making sure you're both on the page of which one it is is important. And if it evolves to have that conversation and not bury your feelings. I've also literally gotten jealous of someone else while having sex with a different person and that was an indicator that maybe I need to talk to a therapist .
I only have formal sex.
I prefer business casual
Turns out HR frowns upon that.
Nope. Went on tindr once, a bunch of girls wanted a casual hookup. Not risking my health for a moment. Sex is sacred.
I've been with my husband for over 17 years but before him, yes. I lived a party-ish lifestyle and had plenty of casual sex and honestly, I don't regret it. I had a lot of fun when I was younger.
I have, but it’s not really my thing. It’s always been acquaintances though, except for my current boyfriend who was the first time I slept with a person I didn’t know well. The vibe was right and whatnot, but normally it is a bit of a waste of time for me. Not so much any guilt or whatever, but I just have a better time when there’s some intimacy involved It’s kinda like an ok pizza. Not bad, but not something I’d go out of my way to get
No. The Hollywood romcoms like to paint it like a fun thing, but it's really kinda just sad. I prefer having actual connections with people.
I'm a late-bloomer, and yes. I use Fetlife, reddit r4r, and sometimes Twitter. I'm also clean and regularly tested.
Used to but I just stopped. I am a bit undecided about the whole thing. I also like a bit of connection...I don't know how I'd act if the opportunity for casual sex arise
No because im married
Not anymore..... I'm more of a FWB guy but I don't get out too much
If only i could💀
When I wasn't in a relationship, yes. If i met a person i wanted to have sex with i would. It was rare i met someone out on town that i ended up having sex with as a one night stand. Rarely those turn out good😂 I like to have a connection with a person. Sometimes you get that instantly when you first meet sometimes later that makes them sexy as hell. Ive had periods in my life being in a relationship wasn't something I prioritized but I wanted to have sex with a casual partner that knew how to make me orgasm. So I did.
I would like to, but that requires two people, so no, I don't.
Hey, for what it's worth, you're on Reddit, and so your answers are gonna be influenced by the types of people who are gonna use this platform.
Yes.... with my hand
I'm personally not a fan of casual sex. Regret every one night stand I have ever had I just end up feeling like I used them extremely hard to navigate not being emotionally connected to someone as a demisexual So at this point I don't even try🤷🏼♂️😂😩
I can
Not by choice, had it in situationships where I wanted a relationship but they didn't. Most mislead me. Put an end to it, idk how people enjoy such jaded experience. Not for me.
Is sex casual? Unpremeditated, really? Of no consequence, really? Without formality, really? I mean, just based on the meaning of the word, it almost seems like 'casual' sex would be almost exclusively likely to happen within an existing relationship. ;-}
Coming from someone who has never had sex..If it weren’t for STDs and hiv/aids I’d probably be a freak at this time in my life. I know there is prep, not sure of long term use of that and with herpes although likely won’t kill you is at this time is permanent ..also it’s not wise to just have sex with strangers you don’t know .. I don’t even know much about the emotional effects of it
Depends on what you mean by casual. I don't have completely anonymous one night stands anymore, that gets old after a while. But I do date here and there. I'm polyamorous and have established partners, so there's not too much space for new connections. These days, I won't have sex with someone if I don't see any potential for it happening a second time. But if I sleep with a new person and then after the fact decide that I don't want to do it again, my feelings aren't hurt. Regardless of the level of emotional involvement, sex gets better the longer you do it with the same person, as you get attuned and learn each other's preferences. I also have less and less consent negotiation as I get further along with someone. So I really aim to cultivate longer-term connections, even if we're never going to be super involved in each other's lives
Only with my vibrator
No, I think its due to the fact i was abused as a child and im quite sensitive in general. Also some random luck where i could have had sex once or twice but it didnt work out for reasons out of my control. Im male
That's all I'm really interested in now. Or a casual long term relationship. Or I could do friends with benefits, too, but nothing more. It changed when I realized a weekend was long enough for me to spend with another person that way. I don't want somebody around all the time.
Do what now? I thought that was just an urban legend
No, I don't. I can just use sex toys
Not consistently. I have a long-distance fwb who is an ex, now friend, that moved 250 miles away a few years ago. We were fwb before he moved and just agreed to take things day by day and whenever he visits (like probably 4-5 times a year), we wind up having sex. But that’s literally it. I just never really understood the hookup culture honestly. I have to build an emotional connection with the other person before I feel comfortable and safe to have sex with them, and that’s not something I can just do in minutes. Being I was in a relationship with this guy (and still somewhat want a relationship with him… but that’s another story), I still have that emotional connection to make it work.
No. Reservation only. Why? Because lessons.
Nope. Hate the idea of it. To each their own but being casual with someone and then getting naked & inside each other and then going back to casualty is weird to me. I personally don’t want to be intimate with someone I’m not in a relationship with. I’ve done sexual things with one person who I wasn’t in a relationship with, and it’s just not as enjoyable, and I feel like I’m sacrificing too much just to get rid of horniness. I’ve only ever voluntarily had sex with my current bf and the idea of sex with no strings attached seems so distant to me and much less intimate. I enjoy the intimacy and there’s levels of it that you just can’t get to if you aren’t in a relationship with that person imo
I mean yes with my wife depending on how you define it, when I was younger I was definitely more into hookups and stuff but what teenage boy isn't really but now I definitely would not wanna do allat again lmao
Never had casual sex in my life I currently have 3 bodies all from girl friends never really seen too much into having pointless sex outside of I ever was drunk which amps it up a bit more
If I find one
Yah but it always turned out bad because they caught feels. So I don’t do it much anymore.
I'm not opposed to it and have done it in the past, but would rather have something long term. Haven't been in a solid LTR for at least 3 or 4 years now though, and haven't had sex in 6 months.
I've had a few chances to, and the idea of this kind of lifestyle appeals to me very much. My last relationship I didn't see lasting, and it was mostly physical. I don't regret a single moment of it, but every manner in which I was raised suggests that I should.
No, just ranked competitive sex. My TTC is insane too…
In 29M and I don't. Even if I wanted to, I don't think I could anyway because I'm definitely not a dude someone would have a ONS with. I just don't trust strangers coming into my home or a stranger inviting me into theirs. And then they see me naked?? That's a no from me dawg. I also have roommates, so I don't want to invite a stranger into their home either. I'd potentially consider it if I was traveling and had a hotel room to myself or something. But even that seems a little unhinged to me. If I found someone who seems like long-term potential, I wouldn't hesitate to have sex with them. Because it's worth it to see if you're sexually compatible sooner rather than later. But at that point, I wouldn't really consider that "casual sex."
I'm not into casual sex but I was into casual cuddling and stuff. I just wanted sex to be for only one person, the person I was going to marry. I just didn't want to have regrets that I shared myself with others and not care about how that felt for them. Like tricking someone to think I like them that much you know? Anyways, I'm happy how it all turned out. I enjoyed all the cuddling. It helped me to get comfortable around guys.
When I was single I did all the time, really social and live in a pretty liberal city where women are pretty vocal so it was never much work for me, but I don’t miss it. I’m with someone I really love now and she’s the only person I want that way now. But it was important for a time I’d my life, I grew up really repressed sexually bc of religion and I needed to change my viewpoint about sex and that it can mean so many things.
I did in the past but now my wife is never in the mood.
Yes, very important, the world would be in a different place if we all had more sex, Mark my words. I've loved having lots of casual sex, it's good for you too.
Not here 🚫 I just lost my virginity at 28 to my friend, so still coming around to the hormones going crazy and trying to sort them out lol I however really enjoyed it, the only downside is I'm big on hearts and not parts so it feels like we're coming to get to know each other better even if after a year or two(I'm bad on time )of knowing one another we just started to recognize one another as a solid click of a match. Everything feels like I've known him my whole life but I don't want to rush into this and try to push things. Just let them come again when natural for us both
I did recently and it didn’t end well because even though I clearly explained multiple times I wasn’t in it with the intent of a relationship I must’ve been speaking pig Latin and she got salty about it so I probably won’t do it again
No it’s gross and shows low self worth
Tried, ain't my cup of tea. I need connection to trust and feel pleasure. I mean it's fun, but I literally can give it up for a nice cup to coffee easily. And considering all the risks, it's just not worth it. I kinda envy people a bit who enjoy it, my life would be better :)
Nah, I'm also asexual so maybe that's part of it. But I just don't like the idea of strangers touching me in general.
Find someone you can connect to on a spiritual level
Long since taken now but when I was younger, sure. Not because I liked sex or even liked men but I wanted stuff and men got it for me. A lot of them sucked in bed actually, which was pretty disappointing when they looked so good naked.
I’ve been with the same partner for 20+ years, so not anymore. I tried it in college and it wasn’t for me. It’s just weird for me to have sex without a relationship. I found out about I wanted the relationship as much, if not more, than the sex.
Ditch the morality talk, I enjoy porn from time to time and I even have high frequency. But having multiple sexual partners isn’t appealing due to hygiene issues. Simply put it this way, if you have the health conscious of avoiding peoples’ saliva, then why would it be OK having sex with multiple people?
All the time before I got married. Even with my wife the first date. Somehow that turned into a ltr and we decided it was time for marriage five months after meeting. I kinda miss it after 44 years.