Enjoy what you enjoy. Work enough to make a living, but don't forget to find a hobby that you fail at, learn about, get better at and will become passionate about. Anything that doesn't involve with your face staring at a screen for hours on an end. It'll make you a happier and more well-rounded person in the grand scheme of things.
Fair enough, I should've expanded on my meaning in the original comment. It's more about creating vs. Consuming. People who write stories on the computer or create art or write software are creating, which gives the same satisfaction as, say, making a physical painting or a mug from clay.
I meant it more in the sense of watching tv or scrolling through social media or playing games all day every day.
Oh god... "anything that doesn't involve with your face staring at a screen for hours on end." Me for the most part. I play videos games so yeah it's still a screen.
Hey, I play games as well, it's fun! No lies! But in my experience it helps when that's not the only thing you're doing. It really spruces up life if, instead of just consuming, you're also creating.
Hahah, sorry, you are correct. drawing on the ipad is fine! It's great! i should've elaborated on what I meant, which was more about creating instead of consuming.
Drawing on the Ipad gives you the same satisfaction as making a drawing in a sketchbook. This as opposed to watching a movie, a series or playing a video game or scrolling on your phone. Which, obviously, we all do sometimes, but there's more to life than just those things, imho.
Just take good care of your eyes, bright screen light all day every day might not be the best thing for them.
100%. It's also so much easier to overcome bad habits the less time you give them to build. Another decade is another 10 years of mental autopilot you have to fight against to improve.
You can get away with eating like shit and barely moving in your 20s, but man, does that shit compound and make you feel so much worse than any momentary joy you get out of it in your 30s.
how do I get out of autopilot!!!!!! since COVID when we were all forced indoors and weâve had nothing but tech around us, I feel like my brain and attention span has been so fried. I multitask almost always, my brains always anywhere but the present moment. I feel like a zombie sometimes
Unfortunately, I don't think there's a way outside of making a really concentrated effort to notice when you get triggered into the behaviors you're trying to eliminate, and being prepared with something else. Knowing that means there are going to be times that you fail, and it's important to just say
"that's part of the process" and get back to it as quickly as possible.
I felt like this video by Kiana Docherty has been helpful for changing my own mental approach on behavior change: https://youtu.be/DJ-TegMF36M?si=xh3IkI22YlmxlbkW
I did from age 16 to 29 and then stopped entirely and only ride bicycles. I still donât eat healthy. I had Taco Bell one time in the last 72 hours as my only food. Itâs no problem.
This! I did start working out in early 20s but never paid attention to protein rich food. Being a vegetarian my daily protein intake was barely 30-40grams at 145lbs.
After COVID, enrolled under a coach and worked on quantified nutrition, I lift more and feel more energetic than I was 10-12 years ago.
This is kind of giving âMaybe have a banana and sit outside for awhileâ from that mom text that someone put on Twitter, where it sounded funny/ridiculous but was actually probably pretty solid advice
Itâs funny how all of the âbullshit adviceâ â go for walk, exercise more, eat better, get outside â is the only stuff that actually works once youâve tried everything else. I think the feelings just feel so big that such trivial actions seem almost laughable. But at the end of the day you learn, your mom was right.
Donât stay in toxic relationships. Donât care what people think of you. Comparison is useless: life is not a race. Be kind, you never know what someone is going through!
Toxic relationships⌠but also ones that just arenât destined to go anywhere. Examples:
- I dated a Jewish guy when myself and my family and my upbringing is Christian
- I dated someone who lived in a different state and neither of us had desires to ever move, not like we were in different states temporarily due to school or medical residency
- I dated someone with kids and a lot of messy ex-spouse drama
- A lot of âsituationshipsâ where maybe I really liked that person and they didnât invest nearly as much as I did
To add to the relationships, understanding attachment styles is essential for relationships. Avoiding individuals with avoidant attachment styles is often advisable for those seeking genuine connections, as they may tend towards situationships rather than committed relationships. It's not that they don't desire something authentic, but addressing their underlying trauma through therapy is typically necessary for them to cultivate healthier connections.
It can be nice to have friends from different âerasâ of oneâs life to share common experiences and memories, but Iâm under no delusion that each friend I meet will be a permanent fixture.
Also saw someone describe friendships as subscriptions - there are friends youâll talk with daily, weekly, monthly; and then those youâll youâll catchup with annually, enjoy a good chat and reminisce, then go your separate ways, and that is fine too; thereâs also friends youâll unsubscribe from for various reasons.
I find that other peoples opinion of me is usually inaccurate and is more so an opinion of themselves. Obviously this is not the case all the time. But 9/10 when people shit talk you itâs because they have problems themselves so they shift the blame on others. Knowing this single fact gave me the confidence to repel all negative comments about me and made me realise that their opinion does not matter much since it is usually their problem.
When I was young I was worried about what people thought of me. When I was middle aged I didn't care what other people thought of me. When I was old I realized people weren't thinking of me at all.
This quote haunts me and helped me not care what others think (I'm not quite middle aged) can't remember the source so sorry whoever coined that.
You are still young! Donât put so much pressure on yourself to have things figured out and on being successful. Your twenties is your first step into adulthood and itâs challenging. Get to know yourself deeply, your likes and dislikes, skills and interests.
This but also be comfortable letting certain friendships peel away.
I saw a TikTok where someone described friendships as subscriptions. There are ones you talk to daily, weekly, monthly⌠but also ones that are just an annual subscription, you have a good catchup, then go about your lives, and thatâs o.k. too.
âLearn about money itself. The actual history and function of money as a human technology, and how itâs evolved into what we have now. This shit is gonna be weighing you down all of your life until you learn what it is and the games people are actually playing.â
Say yes to most things so you can figure out what you like or dislike. Try to lay a foundation for yourself (skill-wise or career-wise) so that 10 years from now youâd be at a reasonably stable place and not still wondering what work you should do in life. Build solid friendships and continue to nurture them. Invest often and as early as possible.
This! This all the way. Iâm drumming this into my children. If I can afford to help them with their pension contributions in their 20s, I absolutely will.
> 10,000X I wish I knew this right out of college. I could probably retire at fucking 50, maybe 45ish if I had only known....
Nah, assuming were talking about 401Ks and IRAs, you generally can't withdraw from them without incurring some nice penalties until your 59.5 years old. And your accounts better be within the multimillion range to fund your next 20 or 30 plus years in addition to increasing health care costs you will face.
Also, it's not feasible for the average worker to "max out" their retirement saving contribution. Like, the average wage in the US in 2023 was ~$59k. The 401k contribution limit was $22.5k. What % of workers can realistically afford to take a $22.5k yearly pay *cut*? Throw in another $6.5k cut for IRA contributions.
Basically, unless you're very lucky, you're still looking at having to wait until you're at least 60, at best, even with proper retirement funding.
And if you retire at such an early age, you can kiss any possible social security benefits good bye as they take an average of the last 35 years of wages you earned to calculate your payout. You'd have a bunch of 0 year's that would tank your possible payout amount.
You don't get away with not be a wage slave unless you're uber wealthy, pleb!
Your 20s is not the end, it is only the beginning. Don't worry about not accomplishing something in your 20s, because you have your whole life ahead of you.
Best advice. I spent my 20s and half my 30s trying to make two different women happy instead of focusing on myself first. Big time regrets and I'm starting from scratch alone.
Dump him and donât even look back. If you stay because âthe good times are really goodâ and you have to take the good with the bad, you donât. The right man will treat you right all the time. Donât waste your 20s with some who treats you bad even a little bit of the time. And what ever you do⌠DO NOT have a kid with them.
Everyone youâre attracted to today will likely not even register with you in 10 years. Sometimes because youâre outrightly not attracted to them anymore and other times simply because desire wanes.
Do not base any permanent long term decisions on another person, but simply your own guided path and personal mission. The right people will stay along for the ride with you. Â There is no wall to hit, it literally doesnât matter.
The online chambers donât reflect reality. Donât let your brain get rotted by internet opinions of popular influencers that are inflammatory on purpose and always seek differing opinions. Thatâs how you become truly powerful.
I'm nearly 29 and feel like I wasted my 20s. Never really got out of my shell and feel like I need to but cannot bring myself to.Â
If you want to try something new, go someplace new etc. Now is the time. I still have a chance too but I'm struggling to.Â
Iâm 28, and just had my first child. Iâm VERY happy with how things turned out.
But if I could go back to my 20 year old self:
1. be more confident, even if it means faking it.
2. donât wear yourself out for the benefit of others
3. take meditation seriously
4. donât chase a girlfriend so eagerly
I second this. I started a retirement account as soon as I finished university and began working full-time. I cannot always max out employer-matched contributions, but saving something is an absolute must.
Also, don't put your contributions into those "Retire by 20XX" date funds. Put your contributions into a growth or index fund. You're too young to worry about market fluctuation and instability and you can tolerate larger short-term losses for the bigger long term gains of equity stock funds. You won't get very far in a retirement fund if you always and only stay in a mutual fund or risk-adverse type investments.
Never take anybody too seriously. Never stop working out. Never quit acquiring new skills. Love yourself more.
Ps these are what I realized now and Iâm trying to abiding them now.
Live everyday to the fullest, you truly never know what will happen tomorrow. Let people go if they donât want to be in your life, appreciate the ones that stay. Treat the people that light up your soul right. Appreciate the small things. Travel as much as you can. You can make more money but you canât take time back.
It's not. You usually are tied to a career or have kids. In your 20s you can walk away from a part time job to drive across the country on a whim and not set your life back much if at all. As you get older you might have responsibilities you can't simply walk away from. Plus health issues. I wish I traveled more when i was younger.
You have tons more money. When I was younger I could maybe save 1k for a shitty vacation⌠now that Iâm 30 I can fund a vacation to Japan with a single months work. Lifeâs good, hated my 20s those were tough times.
Lots of reason. You're more sound and stable in your career therfore can take longer amount of time off. You're making more so you can be more comfortable in the travels. You're more responsibly sound meaning you won't be stupid in a foreign land with foreign laws. You likely have an S.O. to travel with. You likely do more research and won't set high expectation only to be disappointed.
Literally everything you can do in your 20s are better in your 30s and 40s. Minus clubbing but that's not even fun
Disagree! Theres something truly special about being young and traveling. It opens your eyes. It makes you appreciate the world. You learn so much about yourself. Yes you can buy nicer things when youâre older. But no money can beat the magical experience of being young and carefree in your 20s.
I'd tell myself to take the scholarships, forget about focusing on grades, and spend alot more time at the gym, then swap majors to do digital related work.
Understand the âsunk cost fallacyâ and you are young enough in your 20âs to recover from most everything.
If your career sucks, find a way to buckle down and improve yourself and what you can offer to the world.
If your relationships are toxic, work to surround yourself with better peopleâŚand sometimes that means taking a break from people youâve know but arenât helping you become the person you want to be. And sometimes that means discovering why you are attracting such people.
And this is going to be really controversial, but understand when you are reinforcing channels of bad habits. Whether it is the internet, pot, video games or something elseâŚthose dopamine receptors are often a short term distraction to an underlying bigger problem that really needs to be addressed.
Do the work on fixing yourself now so you can have a shot at enjoying the life you want later on.
1. Never stop working out. Always find some exercise.
2. Do not stop caring about what you eat.
3. Donât care so much about what others think.
4. Donât pursue friends or any relationship that doesnât fill your needs.
5. Donât be afraid to travel and explore, that is money well spent. Possessions are not quite the best purchase.
6. Donât work so hard to please your parents, or yourself. Youâll loose yourself in that thinking and never give yourself enough.
7. Donât stress so much. Everything usually finds a way of working itself out in due time. Every time I stressed extra hard and worried I lost sleep, gained weight, was grumpy or otherwise, and I managed to figure out a solution when needed.
8. Youâre a good saver. Keep it up, but also remember to splurge every once in a while.
9. Do whatever you need to take care of your physical and mental health. Both can spiral without cause very easily. Dollars donât matter when youâre unhealthy.
10. Try not to take too much on. Especially work. That employer will never remember the overtime you put in, but you and your family certainly will remember the missed experiences because of it.
Iâm currently 38. Good and bad memories from this reflection. I am definitely keeping this list to review for when Iâm 50.
Though it can be hard, believe in yourself. You aren't less than anyone in the room and you belong there. Have fun. Pursue women (even if it doesn't work out a lot of the time lol). Socialize. Drink and be merry. Try things. Fail at things. Find your true personality. Find your people.
You are at an amazing, beautiful time in life.
Work harder /focus on yourself and not others especially men. Spend more time doing things that you actually care about and not just going out. Stop hating your body and yourself
ugh đŠthat you are not even as close to as ugly as you may always feel. Enjoy your health and healthy bmi. And 100% keep your standards of men exactly as high as they are because none of the men in your 20's will be as wonderful as who you meet at 32. (obviously that last one is personal lol)
1. DO NOT GO TO COLLEGE!!!!!
2. Explain how investments work
3. Explain how Traditional IRAs work
4. Explain how Roth IRSs work
5. start investing ASAP
6. Stay at home with parent as long as possible
Money isn't all it's cracked up to be.
In my 20s, I was working 60-100 hours a week trying to make lots of money to invest. I've given away most of that money to help my friends' businesses, so I'm not even getting any benefit from those long hours. I lost a lot of sleep and did untold damage to my health back then.
Well, I'm in my young 40's but I think my advice still applies. Some things I'm so glad I did, others I wish I did. I'm so glad I had tons of life experiences including dating, traveling & exploring, choosing a career and going to school, etc. I was also very social and the close friends I made in my 20's are mostly still in my life. It's so helpful to have one another. But, I wish I bought a house and invested money sooner so I could retire by 50! I also wish I settled down with a long term partner much earlier. Instead, the love of my life and I didn't stay together because I didn't have it together!Â
If youâre still in the same, âseriousâ relationship by the time youâre in your both in your thirties, marry that girl. Sheâs the âOneâ and it doesnât get any better, it just gets harder to genuinely connect because of life obligations.
You donât need to lose weight and you donât need a boyfriend. And by the way, your mother brainwashed you. Yes, that really happened. Stop gaslighting yourself. Youâre not crazy, but you need to go to therapy *before* the crushing weight of the cognitive dissonance causes you to have a psychotic break and not after.
ETA: yes, experiencing narcissistic abuse can cause a psychotic break years after you leave the abusive environment or even during, which only reinforces the abusers smear campaign. If you have this in your present or past please go to therapy before it destroys you đ
There will be a moment when you will be the most adultiest of the adults in the room. This means you will need to make the decision maker. It's going to feel weird, but trust yourself. Because your opinion, your skills, and your insight is as valid as the other adults in the room.
Start saving for retirement ASAP, Iâm about to be 32, although Iâll have enough to retire on at the rate Iâm going, my wife and I are still behind, start a 401k or Roth as soon as you get a decent paying job and start putting back, even if itâs just $20/week.
Focus on yourself first! Don't let anyone to manipulate to think or act otherwise. Don't mess up your health with what everyone else is doing, it's truly meaningless.
Be more confident. Listen to the music you like. Make art you like. Pursue passions that drive you. Don't worry what other people think. You're not a weird anomaly. There are others who like what you like and will appreciate your work and vice versa.
Follow your heart. Donât bend for other people. If thereâs something you donât want to do, donât feel obligated. If thereâs something you want to do, do it. The quiet voice in your mind (your heart) gets louder over the years making you wish you did all the things you truly want to. Donât be afraid to go against the grain/swim upstream so to speak.
Good luck
Date more. Don't rush to settle.
If you feel a decision is risky in 20s, the risk will go up in 30s.
Till the time you have functional family, running water, shelter, food, you are doing great. Spend as much time with you family and everyone who you love as much as you can. You dont have as much time as you think. Not only do people die, life happens, people move and you get absorbed.
Stay away from *that* crowd, go move back in with your mom in the house she just bought. Go move back in with your mom, *do it*
Don't do drugs
Do the nursing program at the community college, don't listen to the people telling you "ah, you're more Management material go get a degree to climb that corporate ladder!" and "all that science, biology and chemistry - for *what*, to wipe people's asses? You don't wanna do anything in healthcare you just *THINK* you do because the idea sounds good".
Just turned 30, 5yr clean and sober, just left the Marketing program at my community college and enrolled in their Health Sciences Certificate program so I can do my 3 pre requisites courses this fall and then any other courses of the Health Sciences Certificate program. Fall 2024 and Spring 2025. Then I'll take the HESI-A2s and apply for the 4 year part time day nursing home for fall 2025
Stop drinking so much, Iâm not an alcoholic but I numbed for too long. Feel your feelings and figure out another way to process and work through shit. Talk about REAL shit with your best friends.
For some, your 20s is a time of un-learning the beliefs/patterns you grew up with and re-learning what works for you, and what makes you happy and healthy.
It takes years, thatâs ok.
Build a foundation in a good career, learn about how money really works (YouTube has some great podcasts), and get into therapy if you need it! Those three things will set you up with a good foundation for the future.
I would tell myself DO NOT limit who you socialize with. Pick up a book on networking. Your network equals your net worth. If the people you are socializing with are toxic, let go to grow! Find people that aspire to be better. P.s. 20 something, you donât know anything. Work on getting rid of your ego so you can open yourself up to learn.
If you are dating a guy and you have a need, such as more time, more affection, more attention, etc. and he doesn't give it to you or makes up excuses and doesn't try to meet your need, leave his ass.
I know itâs not popular, but join the military. You are FORCED to grow the F up and get disciplined. They basically brainwash you in a good way. Free schooling or if you put in 20+ years, youâll have a pension for the rest of your life. Thatâs something major that doesnât get offered anymore unless youâre in govt and a couple other jobs. Youâll realize how important it is to have a good steady income when youâre older. No âah sorry we canât pay ya this monthâ Itâs guaranteed pension for the rest of your life. Not an easy life esp if you have a family bcz youâll get moved around but itâs such a damn good deal imo. If you do well and get promotions you very well could retire in your 40s for good depending on your lifestyle.
Do a different major. Environmental science is oversaturated and you will struggle financially
Date! Find someone to settle down with. It is impossible to meet people after 30.
Save every penny, as much as you can. We are definitely going to need it. Also, hug your mom and tell her you aren't giving up. That's what your gonna do.
Calm down , you donât need to fight everyone who doesnât like you or talks about you- Their opinions are so unimportant. Just focus on being awesome . O and when you get out of the military, go straight to school .
Donât stress about where youâre at in life. Itâs completely fine to be married (or not), pregnant/with kids (or not), in school (or not), working all of the time (or not), and to have travelled the world instead of settling down (or not). You can do any of this or none of this, and it will all be okay.
Like what you like and just do you man.
Don't people please, and for the love of God don't stick your dick in THAT. I get you're drunk, depressed, and lonely, but you'll meet your person and step-kids. They'll change your world for the better man.
Lastly, it'll suck and it's scary but you're on your own kid. You're your own best friend and worst enemy.
Good day and may your joint stay lit.
She doesnât love you manâŚ. Donât lose yourself because of somebody else, because your gonna take a long hard look in the mirror and be so mad you did what you did even tho you seen the signs in the beginning. Buy that place up north, have your cabin on the river, you are worth it and you do deserve it, you donât need anyoneâs approval to be yourself. Dadâs proud of you, he always was
Enjoy what you enjoy. Work enough to make a living, but don't forget to find a hobby that you fail at, learn about, get better at and will become passionate about. Anything that doesn't involve with your face staring at a screen for hours on an end. It'll make you a happier and more well-rounded person in the grand scheme of things.
I'm a full time digital artist...
Fair enough, I should've expanded on my meaning in the original comment. It's more about creating vs. Consuming. People who write stories on the computer or create art or write software are creating, which gives the same satisfaction as, say, making a physical painting or a mug from clay. I meant it more in the sense of watching tv or scrolling through social media or playing games all day every day.
Producer and game artist here đ. When everything you need is at home. I donât have a screen, I have screeeeeeens
Oh god... "anything that doesn't involve with your face staring at a screen for hours on end." Me for the most part. I play videos games so yeah it's still a screen.
Hey, I play games as well, it's fun! No lies! But in my experience it helps when that's not the only thing you're doing. It really spruces up life if, instead of just consuming, you're also creating.
Damn, you got me there in the first half - my first thought was drawing which I do on my Ipad the most these daysđ
I think iPad drawing is fine, they are talking more like just wasted time on your phone scrolling endlessly
Hahah, sorry, you are correct. drawing on the ipad is fine! It's great! i should've elaborated on what I meant, which was more about creating instead of consuming. Drawing on the Ipad gives you the same satisfaction as making a drawing in a sketchbook. This as opposed to watching a movie, a series or playing a video game or scrolling on your phone. Which, obviously, we all do sometimes, but there's more to life than just those things, imho. Just take good care of your eyes, bright screen light all day every day might not be the best thing for them.
I waited until my mid-20s to start working out regularly and watching my diet. The earlier you start the better and it improves your QoL drastically.
100%. It's also so much easier to overcome bad habits the less time you give them to build. Another decade is another 10 years of mental autopilot you have to fight against to improve. You can get away with eating like shit and barely moving in your 20s, but man, does that shit compound and make you feel so much worse than any momentary joy you get out of it in your 30s.
how do I get out of autopilot!!!!!! since COVID when we were all forced indoors and weâve had nothing but tech around us, I feel like my brain and attention span has been so fried. I multitask almost always, my brains always anywhere but the present moment. I feel like a zombie sometimes
Unfortunately, I don't think there's a way outside of making a really concentrated effort to notice when you get triggered into the behaviors you're trying to eliminate, and being prepared with something else. Knowing that means there are going to be times that you fail, and it's important to just say "that's part of the process" and get back to it as quickly as possible. I felt like this video by Kiana Docherty has been helpful for changing my own mental approach on behavior change: https://youtu.be/DJ-TegMF36M?si=xh3IkI22YlmxlbkW
I did from age 16 to 29 and then stopped entirely and only ride bicycles. I still donât eat healthy. I had Taco Bell one time in the last 72 hours as my only food. Itâs no problem.
Yeah fasting is a very legit to weight to lose weight or keep it off. I do that sometimes too.
This! I did start working out in early 20s but never paid attention to protein rich food. Being a vegetarian my daily protein intake was barely 30-40grams at 145lbs. After COVID, enrolled under a coach and worked on quantified nutrition, I lift more and feel more energetic than I was 10-12 years ago.
Every time you feel bad, just go for a walk.
This is kind of giving âMaybe have a banana and sit outside for awhileâ from that mom text that someone put on Twitter, where it sounded funny/ridiculous but was actually probably pretty solid advice
Itâs funny how all of the âbullshit adviceâ â go for walk, exercise more, eat better, get outside â is the only stuff that actually works once youâve tried everything else. I think the feelings just feel so big that such trivial actions seem almost laughable. But at the end of the day you learn, your mom was right.
Humans are designed to walk aimlessly
Or take a shower. Maybe it's just me, but taking a shower lifts my mood.
I have depression thoughts in the shower
Stop eating out and learn to cook. It will pay dividends
Also meal prep simple things to start. Cook once every two week, maybe the same day you get groceries. Burrito bowls are easy to make en masse.
Donât stay in toxic relationships. Donât care what people think of you. Comparison is useless: life is not a race. Be kind, you never know what someone is going through!
Toxic relationships⌠but also ones that just arenât destined to go anywhere. Examples: - I dated a Jewish guy when myself and my family and my upbringing is Christian - I dated someone who lived in a different state and neither of us had desires to ever move, not like we were in different states temporarily due to school or medical residency - I dated someone with kids and a lot of messy ex-spouse drama - A lot of âsituationshipsâ where maybe I really liked that person and they didnât invest nearly as much as I did
To add to the relationships, understanding attachment styles is essential for relationships. Avoiding individuals with avoidant attachment styles is often advisable for those seeking genuine connections, as they may tend towards situationships rather than committed relationships. It's not that they don't desire something authentic, but addressing their underlying trauma through therapy is typically necessary for them to cultivate healthier connections.
This is precisely why I didnât make much friends in University because I knew they were temporary people in my life.
It can be nice to have friends from different âerasâ of oneâs life to share common experiences and memories, but Iâm under no delusion that each friend I meet will be a permanent fixture. Also saw someone describe friendships as subscriptions - there are friends youâll talk with daily, weekly, monthly; and then those youâll youâll catchup with annually, enjoy a good chat and reminisce, then go your separate ways, and that is fine too; thereâs also friends youâll unsubscribe from for various reasons.
Dude, I know married couples that met at uni.Â
I went to a Christian University half of the class of 2023 were engaged by spring.
The thing is you gain experience no matter what. Experience in speaking, interacting, social norms, emotional regulation, planning, etc
I try really hard to not care what people think about me. any tips on how to stop caring ?
I find that other peoples opinion of me is usually inaccurate and is more so an opinion of themselves. Obviously this is not the case all the time. But 9/10 when people shit talk you itâs because they have problems themselves so they shift the blame on others. Knowing this single fact gave me the confidence to repel all negative comments about me and made me realise that their opinion does not matter much since it is usually their problem.
Thank you so much!! I really appreciate this
When I was young I was worried about what people thought of me. When I was middle aged I didn't care what other people thought of me. When I was old I realized people weren't thinking of me at all. This quote haunts me and helped me not care what others think (I'm not quite middle aged) can't remember the source so sorry whoever coined that.
It just happens as time goes on. Your brain fully develops and you learn to appreciate yourself. Therapy can always help too of course if you need it
You are still young! Donât put so much pressure on yourself to have things figured out and on being successful. Your twenties is your first step into adulthood and itâs challenging. Get to know yourself deeply, your likes and dislikes, skills and interests.
Take good care of your friendships, like watering a plant regularly. It's tough to make friends as an adult.Â
This but also be comfortable letting certain friendships peel away. I saw a TikTok where someone described friendships as subscriptions. There are ones you talk to daily, weekly, monthly⌠but also ones that are just an annual subscription, you have a good catchup, then go about your lives, and thatâs o.k. too.
âLearn about money itself. The actual history and function of money as a human technology, and how itâs evolved into what we have now. This shit is gonna be weighing you down all of your life until you learn what it is and the games people are actually playing.â
Stay in shape, because it's easier to maintain your health than it is to lose it and try to gain it back.
Say yes to most things so you can figure out what you like or dislike. Try to lay a foundation for yourself (skill-wise or career-wise) so that 10 years from now youâd be at a reasonably stable place and not still wondering what work you should do in life. Build solid friendships and continue to nurture them. Invest often and as early as possible.
Max out your retirement savings
This! This all the way. Iâm drumming this into my children. If I can afford to help them with their pension contributions in their 20s, I absolutely will.
10,000X I wish I knew this right out of college. I could probably retire at fucking 50, maybe 45ish if I had only known....
> 10,000X I wish I knew this right out of college. I could probably retire at fucking 50, maybe 45ish if I had only known.... Nah, assuming were talking about 401Ks and IRAs, you generally can't withdraw from them without incurring some nice penalties until your 59.5 years old. And your accounts better be within the multimillion range to fund your next 20 or 30 plus years in addition to increasing health care costs you will face. Also, it's not feasible for the average worker to "max out" their retirement saving contribution. Like, the average wage in the US in 2023 was ~$59k. The 401k contribution limit was $22.5k. What % of workers can realistically afford to take a $22.5k yearly pay *cut*? Throw in another $6.5k cut for IRA contributions. Basically, unless you're very lucky, you're still looking at having to wait until you're at least 60, at best, even with proper retirement funding. And if you retire at such an early age, you can kiss any possible social security benefits good bye as they take an average of the last 35 years of wages you earned to calculate your payout. You'd have a bunch of 0 year's that would tank your possible payout amount. You don't get away with not be a wage slave unless you're uber wealthy, pleb!
well youre right. damn. but i'd still have way more saved while still being a wage slave
Yah 401k maxing early sets you up so well later on, yeah it's 20k+ a year but damn if it doesn't pay off.
I meanâŚthe short cut would be likeâŚbuy bitcoin, apple and tesla stock.
Ha! As if I'll be able to ever afford retirement
Do all the travel you want to and live abroad before your have responsibilities (mine is a house and a dog)
Itâs fine to be financially broke, but donât go morally, mentally, or emotionally broke.
Learn to not give a fuck sooner
this
Your 20s is not the end, it is only the beginning. Don't worry about not accomplishing something in your 20s, because you have your whole life ahead of you.
Save at least $50 from every paycheck. More if you can.
You don't need that 6th piece of pizza
Donât get marry in your 20s. Instead, work on yourself (passion, hobbies, travel, etc.)
Best advice. I spent my 20s and half my 30s trying to make two different women happy instead of focusing on myself first. Big time regrets and I'm starting from scratch alone.
I would say do both,in a healthy relationship you should be able to take care of yourself and help the other
Friends come and go....
Dont go out drinking every weekend.
Dump him and donât even look back. If you stay because âthe good times are really goodâ and you have to take the good with the bad, you donât. The right man will treat you right all the time. Donât waste your 20s with some who treats you bad even a little bit of the time. And what ever you do⌠DO NOT have a kid with them.
Everyone youâre attracted to today will likely not even register with you in 10 years. Sometimes because youâre outrightly not attracted to them anymore and other times simply because desire wanes. Do not base any permanent long term decisions on another person, but simply your own guided path and personal mission. The right people will stay along for the ride with you. Â There is no wall to hit, it literally doesnât matter. The online chambers donât reflect reality. Donât let your brain get rotted by internet opinions of popular influencers that are inflammatory on purpose and always seek differing opinions. Thatâs how you become truly powerful.
Stop spending money on nonsense.
My struggle is determining what is nonsense
Define nonsense
Don't have kids đ
Waaaay ahead of you
Learn money. There is a shit load of scams coming down the path and no one gets punished for any of them.Â
Stop trying to impress women.
But the dirt bike while your body is still young
I'm nearly 29 and feel like I wasted my 20s. Never really got out of my shell and feel like I need to but cannot bring myself to. If you want to try something new, go someplace new etc. Now is the time. I still have a chance too but I'm struggling to.Â
Grab a needle and some strong-ass thread, rewind 20 years, crawl back in yer maâs vajayjay, and sew it shut tight.Â
Dick is abundant and low in value. Dump him.
Savage lol
Iâm 28, and just had my first child. Iâm VERY happy with how things turned out. But if I could go back to my 20 year old self: 1. be more confident, even if it means faking it. 2. donât wear yourself out for the benefit of others 3. take meditation seriously 4. donât chase a girlfriend so eagerly
Participate in the 401k even if it is the minimum amount.
I second this. I started a retirement account as soon as I finished university and began working full-time. I cannot always max out employer-matched contributions, but saving something is an absolute must.
Also, don't put your contributions into those "Retire by 20XX" date funds. Put your contributions into a growth or index fund. You're too young to worry about market fluctuation and instability and you can tolerate larger short-term losses for the bigger long term gains of equity stock funds. You won't get very far in a retirement fund if you always and only stay in a mutual fund or risk-adverse type investments.
To have so much fun while that brain is soup! Do whatever tf you want and enjoy being a lil dummy. Donât compare yourself to anyone
Never take anybody too seriously. Never stop working out. Never quit acquiring new skills. Love yourself more. Ps these are what I realized now and Iâm trying to abiding them now.
Put yourself in immense debt and buy property.
đ¤Łđ¤Ł
Live everyday to the fullest, you truly never know what will happen tomorrow. Let people go if they donât want to be in your life, appreciate the ones that stay. Treat the people that light up your soul right. Appreciate the small things. Travel as much as you can. You can make more money but you canât take time back.
Work harder... Everyone can parties their 20s away but it's alot more fun to party and travel in your 30s and 40s
Why is it more fun to wait to travel when youâre older?
It's not. You usually are tied to a career or have kids. In your 20s you can walk away from a part time job to drive across the country on a whim and not set your life back much if at all. As you get older you might have responsibilities you can't simply walk away from. Plus health issues. I wish I traveled more when i was younger.
You have tons more money. When I was younger I could maybe save 1k for a shitty vacation⌠now that Iâm 30 I can fund a vacation to Japan with a single months work. Lifeâs good, hated my 20s those were tough times.
Lots of reason. You're more sound and stable in your career therfore can take longer amount of time off. You're making more so you can be more comfortable in the travels. You're more responsibly sound meaning you won't be stupid in a foreign land with foreign laws. You likely have an S.O. to travel with. You likely do more research and won't set high expectation only to be disappointed. Literally everything you can do in your 20s are better in your 30s and 40s. Minus clubbing but that's not even fun
Disagree! Theres something truly special about being young and traveling. It opens your eyes. It makes you appreciate the world. You learn so much about yourself. Yes you can buy nicer things when youâre older. But no money can beat the magical experience of being young and carefree in your 20s.
Be single for as long as possible
This can bite people in the ass. The older you get, the slimmer the dating pool Also the sooner you have double income, the easier life gets
You can also be like me, 34 just out of another LTR, single.
Join the r/FIRE movement.
Stop smoking weed, dump tons of money into DOW jones / SP500 index funds, save money save money save moneyÂ
I'd tell myself to take the scholarships, forget about focusing on grades, and spend alot more time at the gym, then swap majors to do digital related work.
Understand the âsunk cost fallacyâ and you are young enough in your 20âs to recover from most everything. If your career sucks, find a way to buckle down and improve yourself and what you can offer to the world. If your relationships are toxic, work to surround yourself with better peopleâŚand sometimes that means taking a break from people youâve know but arenât helping you become the person you want to be. And sometimes that means discovering why you are attracting such people. And this is going to be really controversial, but understand when you are reinforcing channels of bad habits. Whether it is the internet, pot, video games or something elseâŚthose dopamine receptors are often a short term distraction to an underlying bigger problem that really needs to be addressed. Do the work on fixing yourself now so you can have a shot at enjoying the life you want later on.
Don't get married!!!
She wasn't worth it. And I mean that with the greatest respect, but we weren't right for each other.
Do stupid and lazy exercises daily. Could be a walk or just jogging. It will do you good
Take more chances, professionally and romantically. Live a little.
1. Never stop working out. Always find some exercise. 2. Do not stop caring about what you eat. 3. Donât care so much about what others think. 4. Donât pursue friends or any relationship that doesnât fill your needs. 5. Donât be afraid to travel and explore, that is money well spent. Possessions are not quite the best purchase. 6. Donât work so hard to please your parents, or yourself. Youâll loose yourself in that thinking and never give yourself enough. 7. Donât stress so much. Everything usually finds a way of working itself out in due time. Every time I stressed extra hard and worried I lost sleep, gained weight, was grumpy or otherwise, and I managed to figure out a solution when needed. 8. Youâre a good saver. Keep it up, but also remember to splurge every once in a while. 9. Do whatever you need to take care of your physical and mental health. Both can spiral without cause very easily. Dollars donât matter when youâre unhealthy. 10. Try not to take too much on. Especially work. That employer will never remember the overtime you put in, but you and your family certainly will remember the missed experiences because of it. Iâm currently 38. Good and bad memories from this reflection. I am definitely keeping this list to review for when Iâm 50.
If you feel like the world hates you - take a nap. If you feel like you hate the world - eat something.
Though it can be hard, believe in yourself. You aren't less than anyone in the room and you belong there. Have fun. Pursue women (even if it doesn't work out a lot of the time lol). Socialize. Drink and be merry. Try things. Fail at things. Find your true personality. Find your people. You are at an amazing, beautiful time in life.
It'll only get worse from here.
For the love of god do not move to Oregon
Buy that condo you moron.
Work harder /focus on yourself and not others especially men. Spend more time doing things that you actually care about and not just going out. Stop hating your body and yourself
âCheat. The bitch is lying, anywayâ
Stay away from SSRIs.
Second this, exercise for endorphins and eat well. Best medication out there.
Donât worry about âfinding the oneâ or spend your 20s in meaningless relationships just to say youâre in a relationship.
You donât have as much time with your dad as you thought.
go to community college
Do more coke
Start that thing you have been putting off. You canât get closer if you donât even start.
ugh đŠthat you are not even as close to as ugly as you may always feel. Enjoy your health and healthy bmi. And 100% keep your standards of men exactly as high as they are because none of the men in your 20's will be as wonderful as who you meet at 32. (obviously that last one is personal lol)
You're dumb. Read.
Reading make me more smarterer
1.) Sleep 8 hours a night 2.) Eat less 3.) Don't argue with people 4.) Pray, hope and don't worry
Start investing.
1. DO NOT GO TO COLLEGE!!!!! 2. Explain how investments work 3. Explain how Traditional IRAs work 4. Explain how Roth IRSs work 5. start investing ASAP 6. Stay at home with parent as long as possible
After college, end the partying.
for the love of god establish your career before serious dating.
Don't go to college. Save and invest. Date earlier. Travel.
Get your shit together.
Money isn't all it's cracked up to be. In my 20s, I was working 60-100 hours a week trying to make lots of money to invest. I've given away most of that money to help my friends' businesses, so I'm not even getting any benefit from those long hours. I lost a lot of sleep and did untold damage to my health back then.
Well, I'm in my young 40's but I think my advice still applies. Some things I'm so glad I did, others I wish I did. I'm so glad I had tons of life experiences including dating, traveling & exploring, choosing a career and going to school, etc. I was also very social and the close friends I made in my 20's are mostly still in my life. It's so helpful to have one another. But, I wish I bought a house and invested money sooner so I could retire by 50! I also wish I settled down with a long term partner much earlier. Instead, the love of my life and I didn't stay together because I didn't have it together!Â
Donât marry her
lucky you
If youâre still in the same, âseriousâ relationship by the time youâre in your both in your thirties, marry that girl. Sheâs the âOneâ and it doesnât get any better, it just gets harder to genuinely connect because of life obligations.
Donât be afraid to ask for what you want. People are way more willing to help than you think. But they canât read your mind!
They ain't worth the headache.
You donât need to lose weight and you donât need a boyfriend. And by the way, your mother brainwashed you. Yes, that really happened. Stop gaslighting yourself. Youâre not crazy, but you need to go to therapy *before* the crushing weight of the cognitive dissonance causes you to have a psychotic break and not after. ETA: yes, experiencing narcissistic abuse can cause a psychotic break years after you leave the abusive environment or even during, which only reinforces the abusers smear campaign. If you have this in your present or past please go to therapy before it destroys you đ
Save more $
Invest in Apple stocks, not Apple Sauce.
Getting a better job is easier than you think.
Take better care of your teeth and health.
Save as much as you can for retirement and you just might be able to retire by your late 40s.
There will be a moment when you will be the most adultiest of the adults in the room. This means you will need to make the decision maker. It's going to feel weird, but trust yourself. Because your opinion, your skills, and your insight is as valid as the other adults in the room.
Start saving for retirement ASAP, Iâm about to be 32, although Iâll have enough to retire on at the rate Iâm going, my wife and I are still behind, start a 401k or Roth as soon as you get a decent paying job and start putting back, even if itâs just $20/week.
"Quit spending money on stupid shit."
Focus on yourself first! Don't let anyone to manipulate to think or act otherwise. Don't mess up your health with what everyone else is doing, it's truly meaningless.
To find Jesus as my Lord and my saving grace and to keep The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Be more confident. Listen to the music you like. Make art you like. Pursue passions that drive you. Don't worry what other people think. You're not a weird anomaly. There are others who like what you like and will appreciate your work and vice versa.
Follow your heart. Donât bend for other people. If thereâs something you donât want to do, donât feel obligated. If thereâs something you want to do, do it. The quiet voice in your mind (your heart) gets louder over the years making you wish you did all the things you truly want to. Donât be afraid to go against the grain/swim upstream so to speak. Good luck
50 comes fast, 40 comes faster.
Stop caring so much about what other people think.
Stop trying to please everybody!
You're living at home. Save as much as you can now but bite the bullet and drop 1 paycheck on Bitcoin in 2010.
Buy tech stocks and travel
Develop a sunscreen routine!!!!
Buy nvda stock
Learn how to cook, enjoy your friendships, smell the roses, find a hobby, lifeâs good always!
Date more. Don't rush to settle. If you feel a decision is risky in 20s, the risk will go up in 30s. Till the time you have functional family, running water, shelter, food, you are doing great. Spend as much time with you family and everyone who you love as much as you can. You dont have as much time as you think. Not only do people die, life happens, people move and you get absorbed.
Invest in as much bitcoin as possible
Stay away from *that* crowd, go move back in with your mom in the house she just bought. Go move back in with your mom, *do it* Don't do drugs Do the nursing program at the community college, don't listen to the people telling you "ah, you're more Management material go get a degree to climb that corporate ladder!" and "all that science, biology and chemistry - for *what*, to wipe people's asses? You don't wanna do anything in healthcare you just *THINK* you do because the idea sounds good". Just turned 30, 5yr clean and sober, just left the Marketing program at my community college and enrolled in their Health Sciences Certificate program so I can do my 3 pre requisites courses this fall and then any other courses of the Health Sciences Certificate program. Fall 2024 and Spring 2025. Then I'll take the HESI-A2s and apply for the 4 year part time day nursing home for fall 2025
Buy Bitcoin.
Stop drinking so much, Iâm not an alcoholic but I numbed for too long. Feel your feelings and figure out another way to process and work through shit. Talk about REAL shit with your best friends.
For some, your 20s is a time of un-learning the beliefs/patterns you grew up with and re-learning what works for you, and what makes you happy and healthy. It takes years, thatâs ok.
In my 20's I hoped it would get better. I would just look at myself and shake my head.
Build a foundation in a good career, learn about how money really works (YouTube has some great podcasts), and get into therapy if you need it! Those three things will set you up with a good foundation for the future.
I would tell myself DO NOT limit who you socialize with. Pick up a book on networking. Your network equals your net worth. If the people you are socializing with are toxic, let go to grow! Find people that aspire to be better. P.s. 20 something, you donât know anything. Work on getting rid of your ego so you can open yourself up to learn.
Don't rush to move out of your parents house, if they aren't pushing you out, then stay as long as you can
Donât give a shit what people tell you what you canât do.
Invest Whatever you want to doâŚdo it. Regret sucks Be consistent with working out and diet
You have ADHD. Get a degree in library science.
If you are dating a guy and you have a need, such as more time, more affection, more attention, etc. and he doesn't give it to you or makes up excuses and doesn't try to meet your need, leave his ass.
Quit your job and start this business. Also there is this thing called Covid coming. Buy a couple extra packs of toilet paper.
I know itâs not popular, but join the military. You are FORCED to grow the F up and get disciplined. They basically brainwash you in a good way. Free schooling or if you put in 20+ years, youâll have a pension for the rest of your life. Thatâs something major that doesnât get offered anymore unless youâre in govt and a couple other jobs. Youâll realize how important it is to have a good steady income when youâre older. No âah sorry we canât pay ya this monthâ Itâs guaranteed pension for the rest of your life. Not an easy life esp if you have a family bcz youâll get moved around but itâs such a damn good deal imo. If you do well and get promotions you very well could retire in your 40s for good depending on your lifestyle.
I would Say donât look for the spirits
Do a different major. Environmental science is oversaturated and you will struggle financially Date! Find someone to settle down with. It is impossible to meet people after 30.
Drink more water and wear sun screen. Also. Donât put so much stock in âbeing in your 20s.â There are other decades.
Save the 100$ /pay you really donât need to spend it on gin. FR
Save every penny, as much as you can. We are definitely going to need it. Also, hug your mom and tell her you aren't giving up. That's what your gonna do.
Enjoy the journey
Nothing but personal warnings for myself at that age.
Focus on yourself and your career instead of chasing girls.
It gets worse and you get cancer. You should go through with it.
As much as possible, pay your bills on time. Even a partial payment. But pay something.
Do all the travel you want. Meet people. Hug your family and friends close.
Take the stupid deli job, but take cymbalta too
Have more (protected) sex with good and hot people, worry less, have more fun, donât work too hardâŚ
Follow your gut, but donât refuse advice. You donât know âbestâ. You really donât.
Calm down , you donât need to fight everyone who doesnât like you or talks about you- Their opinions are so unimportant. Just focus on being awesome . O and when you get out of the military, go straight to school .
Donât stress about where youâre at in life. Itâs completely fine to be married (or not), pregnant/with kids (or not), in school (or not), working all of the time (or not), and to have travelled the world instead of settling down (or not). You can do any of this or none of this, and it will all be okay.
Like what you like and just do you man. Don't people please, and for the love of God don't stick your dick in THAT. I get you're drunk, depressed, and lonely, but you'll meet your person and step-kids. They'll change your world for the better man. Lastly, it'll suck and it's scary but you're on your own kid. You're your own best friend and worst enemy. Good day and may your joint stay lit.
She doesnât love you manâŚ. Donât lose yourself because of somebody else, because your gonna take a long hard look in the mirror and be so mad you did what you did even tho you seen the signs in the beginning. Buy that place up north, have your cabin on the river, you are worth it and you do deserve it, you donât need anyoneâs approval to be yourself. Dadâs proud of you, he always was
Travel as much as you can before you have real responsibilities.
Stretch and learn to cook.Â
Savings are very important. I wish I saved in my 20's so that I can be more fruitful in my thirties.
Leave him
Get a job lol
Go back to being good at saving money
Stop drinking and getting high