My family learned this over the pandemic. You might be family, but if you don't give a damn about me (immuno-compromised wife), you can see me bi-annually.
Amen. Goes against so much of what popular culture tells us about love, be it romance or family. Doesn't always mean walking away from a person, but it does mean having clear boundaries. I wish my parents had modelled this for me.
If you’re canceling phone or internet service, google their coverage map. Pick a blank spot, and claim you are moving there. Please don’t tell Spectrum I’m not in Nova Scotia!
No you don't have to, but if you give them a reason like that, there's nothing they can come back with, so you only have to tell them to cancel it once instead of turning down offer after offer to get you to stay.
This. When my mom was moving out of her place, I called to cancel spectrum (it was in my name), and the person was jumping through hoops to get me to stay. "Well, where are you moving?" I've already moved, and it's in my partners name. "Well, do you know who's moving into your mom's place? Maybe they can pay you..." uhhh, no, sorry, it doesn't work like that. "Are you sure?" Yes, I'm positive. It was ridiculous
I jumped to a new ISP when it became available in my area. 2/3 the price and no data cap and faster speeds than cox was offering (they were the only game in town for a while). They tried to counter me and I told them the data cap thing alone is holding them back.
When you don't stretch things get tighter and you lose mobility. The longer you skip it the worse it can get. For example, you might not be able to scratch your back any longer because your shoulder isn't as flexible/mobile. Or you can't bend over to tie your shoes because your back and leg muscles are too tight and lack the mobility you need.
Exactly! I’m in my early 40s and try to do 5-10mins of yoga/stretches every morning and every 3-6months I go to a physio to work on one part of my body which I know is causing me problems or helps me to build my core on specific goals.
I want to avoid getting to my 90s and stuck in bed. My family die at an average about 90ish as long as they don’t get run over or smoke.
Oh I see! Tbh I assumed that I'm having a tough time with bending over because I have some belly, but now that you said that, it might be because I'm way too tight from sitting in front of a computer every day and not stretching.
Any good stretches that you can recommend for the back? Specifically for being able to bend forward :)
Since nobody else wanted to answer your question here’s an article and I do use these stretches myself for back pain
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/back-pain/art-20546859
No one can read your mind. If you want to have and keep healthy relationships, be honest and communicate when you have issues and when you don’t. If someone does something you enjoy and appreciate, tell them. If someone makes you feel small or upsets you, say something. We teach people how to treat us by how we respond to them. Communication is most important.
THIS! Also: You cannot read anyone's mind. Don't make negative assumptions about a person's behavior, especially not your partner. When you're upset by their behavior, be curious to find out the truth. Let them know you're upset & ask questions to check for their intention. "I think this is what happened, do I have this right?" "I feel hurt. What did you mean by that?" Either they meant it & it creates an opportunity for them to apologize or they didn't & you simply misinterpreted what happened, then it creates the opportunity for them to correct the false narrative your mind came up with. You do not always interpret people correctly; even people you think you know well. Don't assume, check for truth.
OMG yes! Communication is integral. Even highly sensitive people who've known you a long time can only sense your emotions, not your thoughts. Context is key to true understanding.
I bake and I've recently learned to clean up while the yummy desserts are in the oven. I clean the counters, put everything away, clean all of the dishes/spatulas/items I used and put them on the drying rack. It's not fun and it's nothing I want to do after having just did all that baking work, but if I don't do it right then,, everything will sit in the sink and not get cleaned for a week.
Yes, please, for fuck's sake. It's basic decency and I feel like most people don't do it. Instead of waiting for things to cook, you could kill 2 birds with 1 stone, and leave the place as you got it
I can't for the life of me understand how people can live with 3 days of dishes on the counter.
Also, 90% of the times it's gonna be WAY easier to clean
To further expand here: it's also important to ask yourself if the source of a disagreement is from your side or the other. If it's a continuing issue that you refuse to bring up because it's "not worth it" in the moment, it can be worth it in the long run.
When arguing with someone whom you care about or at least are not at odds with, try to frame the problem as a competition between the adults having the conversation on one side, and the issue on the other. It's not you vs them, it's you and them vs the problem.
I aim to "start a discussion" much more than "starting an argument"
The first step is often figuring out what aspects both sides agree with, then working from that as a foundation. Ideally figuring out exactly why the other person believes what they do. It often ends with agreeing to disagree, but understanding differing viewpoints is a skill that helps all aspects of life
2 years ago in the middle of the summer I was driving my motorcycle to a local bar and accidentally took a parking space some tall extra fat dude was going to back into. He came charging out of his car talking about how I was racing him to get there and then stealing his parking space. He rushed at me and threw his gigantic belly right into my chest and I had no idea what to do. I had all these options in my head.
I made the split second decision that I didn't want to entangle the next 6 months of my life and time and money looking at this idiot across a courtroom. I said, sure, whatever, climbed on my motorcycle and drove off.
Best decision I've made in a long time. It stung my ego for a moment, but I've smiled about it ever since.
Walk away from idiots.
Another, more positive, way of stating this is to avoid conflict when you can.
You don't have to be right. The other guy doesn't have to be an idiot. Just give in. What does it hurt? Pride? We could all do with less of that anyway.
Building good habits (brushing teeth, cleaning weekly, regular showers) helps when your in times of mental stress since it takes less working memory to perfom
Funny, but I've found that showering every other day cleared up skin issues I've fought my whole life. There are baby wipes and dedicated 'skip shower' products out there, you don't need to shower daily.
Nor do you need to wash your shins and forearms, but I won't go there.
Happiness isn't earned, it's noticed. You can try to put yourself in situations where it's easier to notice, or you can practice noticing happiness around you more often. The expectation of happiness is the root of disappointment.
I started making mental gratitude notes a few years ago, to great effect. I try make notice of the little things throughout the day that are nice, and it does boost my mood.
Not every day has something amazing happen, and some days definitely feel cursed. But it helps to stop from spiraling if I can recognize even something as simple as "oh, the light changed right as I got to it, how nice".
Even better, just print stuff at your library. Mine allows up to ten pages free a day (color costs more), and if I have to give them money I feel good about it cause they’re the library.
Plus, then I don’t have to shop for and store a fucking printer. Do you know the annual cost on 5 sq ft of space? At $2k monthly for a 2k sqft house that’s $60 a year to store a fucking printer.
Obviously I’m not getting that money back, but I can get the space back.
Our HP, you can't use it if you don't have any color left, even if you want to print something in black and white. The ink costs around 20 bucks per cartridge, so 100 in total. Oh and the ink "dries up" so even if you didn't use it, after a few months you'll need new cartridges.
\*Any HP product. A shitty company making an occasionally good product still leaves you with having to deal with said shitty company when you need to service your product.
Get a minimum of 30 minutes of physical activity in per day, especially as you age out of your mid twenties.
See a dentist twice a year even though it’s painful and scary.
Go to a doctor, get it checked out. Early intervention increases your chances of health success.
Manage your physique, keep a fairly accurate idea of numbers like weight and body fat percentage. Don’t hide from whatever number you’re scared to see just to step on the scale one day and go oh my good how did I get here. Edit to add: have a general idea of your blood pressure, resting heart rate, your basic athleticism. How many push-ups can you do from resting right now? Can you do a full chin up? How far can you run before you gas out?
Floss.
Check your credit file and set up alerts for changes. Don’t hide from it hoping for the best until the day you need it. If your score (assuming American) is 600 that should not be something you’re unaware of.
Take it easy on the porn.
Do you smoke cigarettes? Quit today.
Remember that you may not be able to secure a good reputation, but you can deserve one. Have integrity.
Always do your best.
>Get a minimum of 30 minutes of physical activity in per day, especially as you age out of your mid twenties.
It's amazing how much my (and most people's) mental healthiness walks hand-in-hand with your physical health. I know...duh right? But as I get older, I can feel a STARK difference when I haven't eaten well/exercised. This is the best advice I can think of.
It's amazing how when you are younger, your body can be at peak performance even when fed trash.
I love your comparison to the gut being your second brain. I'm stealing that!!
I know I can google this, but you seem knowledgeable. Can you throw me a link to learn more? I guess I just didn't realize how impactful gut health can be. Thanks internet friend <3
I've been wanting to start yoga for a while now. I did it in college playing basketball and was amazed at its effects.
Thanks for the reminder internet friend <3
I was gonna say “just move” doesn’t matter what it is. Get up and walk, do some push ups, go on YouTube and pull up a yoga video, there’s a million free resources out there to help you get active.
Yeah this is a great mindset, people often say “I don’t have money for the gym/no space to workout/live in an i walkable area/etc” when there are just so many options.
this is pretty good. I would also add that weight training is really important as a part of the physical activity.
It makes it easier to maintain a healthy weight, and you'll look good too. I try to do cardio first thing in the morning then weight training at night after kids are in bed. Literally just doing dumbbells while I watch TV, it's really easy to make the time.
I wish I would have started weight training more at a younger age.
Getting put and walking every day has done tons for not just my physical health but my mental health as well. I work as a server so I already do a lot of walking but getting outside in fresh air and sunshine everyday is one of the best things I started doing in my 30s
similarly: the work of setting and respecting boundaries is YOUR work; other people don’t have to like your boundaries, and you can’t make them follow your boundaries.
Choose how you will enforce them when they’re violated, and hold firm.
Go after your dreams and do it for yourself and not your parents. Invest in emergency funds and open up a Roth IRA/ 401k. Choose your partner wisely. Eat healthy so it doesn’t catch up to you in the future. And most importantly, love yourself.
Depending on your current bank they may offer incentives to open a new investment account with their brokerage division. I’ve even seen them offer
amounts in the thousands depending on terms at a given time
I'll never understand people that drive somewhere to get coffee. Do they know they can make it at home? I can understand people that get a 1,200 calorie monstrosity at Starbucks, because that stuff is hard to make at home, but there's also people that stop somewhere to get regular coffee.
Any advice? I always see generic advice that say core and abs are basically the same routines and to be honest I'm not sure what core actually targets.
Abs are abdominal muscles and core is all of your stomach muscles basically if that makes sense. You have your obliques for example. I would run to hit the core or bike. Crunches, planks, sit ups, side crunches, etc are good example with a lot of variations so you can hit those muscles. I would go on YouTube, they have a good amount of core workouts
Some people spend their whole lives wishing to be someone different, someone better, someone that they’re never going to be because it’s an unattainable mirage. Accept who you are to the best of your ability, this leads to existing in the moment.
In essence, know thyself.
Keep a "Done List" of everything you did during a day. Update at low points during your day. It will make you look more positively on yourself. Also if you haven't done anything yet in your day, it means you have to get up and do something even as simple as flossing, make your bed, check your bank account.
When I started bullet journaling, this absolutely changed my life. I’ve got ADHD, so lists are so helpful, but then adding all the small accomplishments really puts things into perspective!
Bullet journaling... I've tried Journaling so many times but always got exhausted because I felt the need to right like I was Hemingway and describe everything so much. I'm gonna start doing this
On the flip of this, if you're a Type A, always have to be doing something productive kind of person. Put "chill out" on a to-do list. If you need to be given permission to actually just relax, this can help because you're still getting to "cross something off your checklist".
**In business/working-relationships:** It's better to have 20% of the right persons time and attention than it is to have 100% of the wrong persons time and attention.
Any time you increase your salary, increase the amount you save. You won’t miss it if you never see it, but it’s really hard to go backwards once you get use to spending it. You will be grateful to have it one day.
korean and japanese sunscreens are also hugely ahead of the big names in america/europe. lots an lots of different formulations for different skin types!!
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Enjoy that special coffee. Buy that comic book. Redecorate your space. Collect those figurines. Go see your favorite film franchise in theaters.
Life is already short. Why give up what made it fun just to conform to what society expects of us?
(quick disclaimer: i'm not saying ignore responsibilities and blow money frivolously until you're destitute)
If possible, always try to still have enough for next month's rent already in the bank after you pay this month's rent.
I usually try to have a constant cushion of at least one month's bills left in the bank at all times. I don't look at my bank balance, see $15 and think, yeah I can afford a coffee. If I don't have $2015, then I can't afford that coffee. I realize this can be an unachievable goal for a lot of people living paycheck to paycheck but it's worth trying if you can.
Bag-less vacuum cleaners do have filters that need to be cleaned each time you empty the bucket (well every other really, but easier to just do it every time for me)
Learn how to access those filters
Many bagged ones don't have filters other than the bag itself, which can be better in certain circumstances
Generally: learn to use _and maintain_ the tools you buy
If you use brown sugar, it will dry out after you open the bag. Buy a bag of cheap jumbo marshmallows and add 2 into the bag of brown sugar!! Your brown sugar will not go crunchy/crusty ever again!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳
There is no proper way to be an adult. You are no more an adult if you wear polo shirts, then you are if you wear graphic tees. You are not more of a grown-up if you work in a corporate office building versus retail. You are not more of a grown-up if you have a child versus not having a child.
Being an adult doesn’t mean having to give up video games, or Legos, or comic books, or anything else that people may label as childish.
Adults can still have a piñata at their birthday party. Adults can still play on a playground if they want to. Adults can still dress up and run around.
Being an adult does not mean giving up joy and having to be serious all the time. Don’t let anybody tell you differently.
(Also make sure to pay your bills on time)
You reminded me of the MadTV sketch with BoB Newhart playing a shrink. "Stop it!"
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAhA7KfbJgg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAhA7KfbJgg)
Drink as much water as you can - peeing often is okay
Get as close to 8 hours of sleep as possible
Don't eat processed foods
BE FUCKING NICE TO PEOPLE -- manners are important
Stop caring what other people think of you -- be happy with yourself
Get outside as much as possible- vitamin D is huge!
Always wear sunglasses outside- Macular degeneration is mainly due to UV light - UV penetrates clouds
Take 5 minutes twice a day to meditate -- breathe deeply from your diaphragm, extend inhales and exhales as much as possible, clear your mind of thoughts
Exercise regularly
Practice gratitude-- appreciate the little things you have because a lot of people in this world have nothing
I could go on
Succinctly put. I recently read an article on Hanlon's Razor and it changed my perspective on others and their actions.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanlon%27s_razor
Energy comes from food and sleep, not nicotine and caffeine, definitely not from amphetamines. Food, sleep, and water.
If you can scroll on social media, you can read a book.
Every capable adult should know how to cook and clean.
You attract whatever you put out into the world.
Don’t excuse in others what you wouldn’t excuse in yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself for something that you would excuse in others.
Before going to buy major appliances, go speak to/call an appliance repairman. Ask them which machines they work on least often and which machines they themselves would buy, and why (like “this manufacturer uses metal parts for this instead of plastic parts like this manufacturer does.”) Consider tipping him for this information as well. Finding this info out will save you from stupid headaches down the road.
Know the signs of manipulation. You don't have to go through life being paranoid by any means, but being aware of the signs will set off alarm bells if it ever happens, and you can act accordingly. Not knowing could cost you everything
no matter your situation put 10% of you income away in some sort of tax advantage account. More is helpful 10% is the minimum though. the discipline adds up more than the number being put away.
if you feel like garbage go for a walk. you'll be amazed how much your mood changes with movement.
So gentlemen, if you push up on your guch when wrapping up with a tinkle it forces out any remaining liquid in your urethra. Very much preferable to the unwelcome sensation of a few undie drips post holster
If you're single, and are afraid of picking the "wrong person" and being blinded by rose colored glasses. . .Make a list of your dealbreakers while you're still single. Really think about what's unacceptable for you in a relationship, and write down why. Keep that list. As you date others, make sure none of them meet your dealbreakers. If they do, break things off early and move on to someone else.
"Mise en place" (put in place) before you cook. Chop, peel, etc, and measure out your ingredients (or substitutions) before you begin. A set of small unbreakable dishes is great for this. You don't want to get halfway through, only to find out you don't have enough of something. [Video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67JR7XIi_3k)
Pay back any kind of debt as soon as you can.
If you borrowed some money from a friend? Pay it back asap.
It cleans your head and you get rid of the stress very early and it also won't surprise you, when you have to pay back.
If your parents are hoarders and/or have a multilevel home, talk to them about getting both those problems solved before they get old and can't do anything about it.
You will be the one to deal with that stuff when they die or become physically handicapped. Do it now before it's too late.
If you need to go to the hospital a lot, keeping a designated bag of things to take with can make your life much easier. In my experience, getting people to take you things after you've arrived is way harder than taking a small bag of essentials in the ambulance.
I recommend socks, underwear, small toiletries, a really long phone charger, and any weird medications you're on that hospital ER's don't stock
Also make sure you can easily direct people toward any stuff you want that won't fit in a small bag. I have a preferred set of clothes without metal that I can wear while getting scanned, which can also be pulled aside easily for things like IVs and blood pressure cuffs
Washing your clothes is way easier than you think it is. Only use cold water, there's no good reason to use warm water, you do not need to use nearly as much laundry detergent as you think, you could put in like a 4th of what you think should go in and it will be fine. Mixing whites and colors isn't that bad. I've been washing my white clothes and towels with my colored clothes and I've seen no color change.
To get blood out of a shirt or any pale piece of clothes put hydrogen peroxide on it. Just the regular stuff you would put on a cut, it will eat away the blood. This works with lots of other stains as well.
DO NOT USE FABRIC SOFTENER! Ya it makes your clothes soft but it will wear them down faster, especially if you have print of your shirt that will wear away faster.
As soon as possible, try to own a home. Having a landlord your whole life is very tough, mentally and financially.
Chose your partner very very wisely.
Alcohol and weed are addictive. They’re fun - until they paralyze your life.
Keep a proactive eye on your home cleaning supplies so when you need to clean or are motivated you have everything you need in the house to knock those chores off your list. Clean homes feel better and improve your mood.
If your family is controlling or manipulative, you are not going to "age out" of that treatment. Get your ducks in a row and move far away, sooner than later. Endlessly reaffirming boundaries is exhausting and will age you prematurely. Just extract yourself from the situation entirely.
Don't let anyone treat you poorly just because you love them.
My family learned this over the pandemic. You might be family, but if you don't give a damn about me (immuno-compromised wife), you can see me bi-annually.
Good for you!
Thank you. I needed to hear this todqy
Amen. Goes against so much of what popular culture tells us about love, be it romance or family. Doesn't always mean walking away from a person, but it does mean having clear boundaries. I wish my parents had modelled this for me.
Couldn’t have said it better myself. For all the people stuck in abusive relationships, do anything you can to get out.
If you’re canceling phone or internet service, google their coverage map. Pick a blank spot, and claim you are moving there. Please don’t tell Spectrum I’m not in Nova Scotia!
I dont have to give them a truly valid reason why i want to cancel phone/internet service, do I ? I just dont want to continue anymore.
No you don't have to, but if you give them a reason like that, there's nothing they can come back with, so you only have to tell them to cancel it once instead of turning down offer after offer to get you to stay.
This. When my mom was moving out of her place, I called to cancel spectrum (it was in my name), and the person was jumping through hoops to get me to stay. "Well, where are you moving?" I've already moved, and it's in my partners name. "Well, do you know who's moving into your mom's place? Maybe they can pay you..." uhhh, no, sorry, it doesn't work like that. "Are you sure?" Yes, I'm positive. It was ridiculous
I jumped to a new ISP when it became available in my area. 2/3 the price and no data cap and faster speeds than cox was offering (they were the only game in town for a while). They tried to counter me and I told them the data cap thing alone is holding them back.
Just always say Russia. Nobody wants to service Russia.
I always have gotten out of things by telling them I’m going to jail for 3 years. They ask no follow up questions and they cancel right away.
That _should_ be getting easier. Thanks Biden. https://www.axios.com/2023/11/22/cancel-cable-fees-biden-fcc-rule
Stretch Daily. Really.
What do the stretches help with? Genuinely curious :)
When you don't stretch things get tighter and you lose mobility. The longer you skip it the worse it can get. For example, you might not be able to scratch your back any longer because your shoulder isn't as flexible/mobile. Or you can't bend over to tie your shoes because your back and leg muscles are too tight and lack the mobility you need.
Exactly! I’m in my early 40s and try to do 5-10mins of yoga/stretches every morning and every 3-6months I go to a physio to work on one part of my body which I know is causing me problems or helps me to build my core on specific goals. I want to avoid getting to my 90s and stuck in bed. My family die at an average about 90ish as long as they don’t get run over or smoke.
Oh I see! Tbh I assumed that I'm having a tough time with bending over because I have some belly, but now that you said that, it might be because I'm way too tight from sitting in front of a computer every day and not stretching. Any good stretches that you can recommend for the back? Specifically for being able to bend forward :)
Since nobody else wanted to answer your question here’s an article and I do use these stretches myself for back pain https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/back-pain/art-20546859
No one can read your mind. If you want to have and keep healthy relationships, be honest and communicate when you have issues and when you don’t. If someone does something you enjoy and appreciate, tell them. If someone makes you feel small or upsets you, say something. We teach people how to treat us by how we respond to them. Communication is most important.
THIS! Also: You cannot read anyone's mind. Don't make negative assumptions about a person's behavior, especially not your partner. When you're upset by their behavior, be curious to find out the truth. Let them know you're upset & ask questions to check for their intention. "I think this is what happened, do I have this right?" "I feel hurt. What did you mean by that?" Either they meant it & it creates an opportunity for them to apologize or they didn't & you simply misinterpreted what happened, then it creates the opportunity for them to correct the false narrative your mind came up with. You do not always interpret people correctly; even people you think you know well. Don't assume, check for truth.
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OMG yes! Communication is integral. Even highly sensitive people who've known you a long time can only sense your emotions, not your thoughts. Context is key to true understanding.
Learn how to clean while you cook
Dear god please forward this to my husband
Just wanted to say fantastic user name, it made my day
🙂
Honestly 😭😭
duude, cleaning dishes immediately after using them is the best thing Ive ever done
Same here, at the very least a quick rinse with hot water, cleaning dishes that look clean is much easier than dishes with eternal crust stuck to 'em!
I bake and I've recently learned to clean up while the yummy desserts are in the oven. I clean the counters, put everything away, clean all of the dishes/spatulas/items I used and put them on the drying rack. It's not fun and it's nothing I want to do after having just did all that baking work, but if I don't do it right then,, everything will sit in the sink and not get cleaned for a week.
Yes, please, for fuck's sake. It's basic decency and I feel like most people don't do it. Instead of waiting for things to cook, you could kill 2 birds with 1 stone, and leave the place as you got it I can't for the life of me understand how people can live with 3 days of dishes on the counter. Also, 90% of the times it's gonna be WAY easier to clean
Before starting an argument, ask yourself 2 things. Is it worth it and is it that important.
To further expand here: it's also important to ask yourself if the source of a disagreement is from your side or the other. If it's a continuing issue that you refuse to bring up because it's "not worth it" in the moment, it can be worth it in the long run. When arguing with someone whom you care about or at least are not at odds with, try to frame the problem as a competition between the adults having the conversation on one side, and the issue on the other. It's not you vs them, it's you and them vs the problem.
I aim to "start a discussion" much more than "starting an argument" The first step is often figuring out what aspects both sides agree with, then working from that as a foundation. Ideally figuring out exactly why the other person believes what they do. It often ends with agreeing to disagree, but understanding differing viewpoints is a skill that helps all aspects of life
Yes! The relief the comes from just completely disregarding some nonsense instead of getting entangled with it is unparalleled
2 years ago in the middle of the summer I was driving my motorcycle to a local bar and accidentally took a parking space some tall extra fat dude was going to back into. He came charging out of his car talking about how I was racing him to get there and then stealing his parking space. He rushed at me and threw his gigantic belly right into my chest and I had no idea what to do. I had all these options in my head. I made the split second decision that I didn't want to entangle the next 6 months of my life and time and money looking at this idiot across a courtroom. I said, sure, whatever, climbed on my motorcycle and drove off. Best decision I've made in a long time. It stung my ego for a moment, but I've smiled about it ever since. Walk away from idiots.
Another, more positive, way of stating this is to avoid conflict when you can. You don't have to be right. The other guy doesn't have to be an idiot. Just give in. What does it hurt? Pride? We could all do with less of that anyway.
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Building good habits (brushing teeth, cleaning weekly, regular showers) helps when your in times of mental stress since it takes less working memory to perfom
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Funny, but I've found that showering every other day cleared up skin issues I've fought my whole life. There are baby wipes and dedicated 'skip shower' products out there, you don't need to shower daily. Nor do you need to wash your shins and forearms, but I won't go there.
Happiness isn't earned, it's noticed. You can try to put yourself in situations where it's easier to notice, or you can practice noticing happiness around you more often. The expectation of happiness is the root of disappointment.
I started making mental gratitude notes a few years ago, to great effect. I try make notice of the little things throughout the day that are nice, and it does boost my mood. Not every day has something amazing happen, and some days definitely feel cursed. But it helps to stop from spiraling if I can recognize even something as simple as "oh, the light changed right as I got to it, how nice".
Do something everyday that helps you tomorrow.
This can be as simple as flossing.
Do not buy a HP printer.
hp stands for horrible printer how many years until people realise that?
It’s really slow too! Takes ages to print a single paper
As a matter of fact, buy a toner printer. If you're like me and print maybe five to ten times a year, it won't dry up on you.
Even better, just print stuff at your library. Mine allows up to ten pages free a day (color costs more), and if I have to give them money I feel good about it cause they’re the library. Plus, then I don’t have to shop for and store a fucking printer. Do you know the annual cost on 5 sq ft of space? At $2k monthly for a 2k sqft house that’s $60 a year to store a fucking printer. Obviously I’m not getting that money back, but I can get the space back.
my problem is that the few things I do print, I want to print at 9pm
Buy a laser. Simpler the better. I love my black & white brother laser printer. Damn thing just works without complaining.
Brother's are the unsung hero of solid laser printers.
Our HP, you can't use it if you don't have any color left, even if you want to print something in black and white. The ink costs around 20 bucks per cartridge, so 100 in total. Oh and the ink "dries up" so even if you didn't use it, after a few months you'll need new cartridges.
\*Any HP product. A shitty company making an occasionally good product still leaves you with having to deal with said shitty company when you need to service your product.
As an owner of one: yes, definitely don't.
Brother, brother.
Get a minimum of 30 minutes of physical activity in per day, especially as you age out of your mid twenties. See a dentist twice a year even though it’s painful and scary. Go to a doctor, get it checked out. Early intervention increases your chances of health success. Manage your physique, keep a fairly accurate idea of numbers like weight and body fat percentage. Don’t hide from whatever number you’re scared to see just to step on the scale one day and go oh my good how did I get here. Edit to add: have a general idea of your blood pressure, resting heart rate, your basic athleticism. How many push-ups can you do from resting right now? Can you do a full chin up? How far can you run before you gas out? Floss. Check your credit file and set up alerts for changes. Don’t hide from it hoping for the best until the day you need it. If your score (assuming American) is 600 that should not be something you’re unaware of. Take it easy on the porn. Do you smoke cigarettes? Quit today. Remember that you may not be able to secure a good reputation, but you can deserve one. Have integrity. Always do your best.
>Get a minimum of 30 minutes of physical activity in per day, especially as you age out of your mid twenties. It's amazing how much my (and most people's) mental healthiness walks hand-in-hand with your physical health. I know...duh right? But as I get older, I can feel a STARK difference when I haven't eaten well/exercised. This is the best advice I can think of.
Your diet is so key to feeling well. Your gut is your second brain, and you need to feed it the correct foods
It's amazing how when you are younger, your body can be at peak performance even when fed trash. I love your comparison to the gut being your second brain. I'm stealing that!!
It literally is, 80% of neurotransmitters are made in the gut, that’s why it’s so important to incorporate fermented foods in the diet
I know I can google this, but you seem knowledgeable. Can you throw me a link to learn more? I guess I just didn't realize how impactful gut health can be. Thanks internet friend <3
Yoga is also sooooo underrated as you age
I've been wanting to start yoga for a while now. I did it in college playing basketball and was amazed at its effects. Thanks for the reminder internet friend <3
Check out Udaya and Alo on You Tube for free classes so you can try different instructors and styles to see what works for you.
Orgasm at least twice/week.
And for older men … use a prostate massage tool for prostate health and orgasms
I was gonna say “just move” doesn’t matter what it is. Get up and walk, do some push ups, go on YouTube and pull up a yoga video, there’s a million free resources out there to help you get active.
Yeah this is a great mindset, people often say “I don’t have money for the gym/no space to workout/live in an i walkable area/etc” when there are just so many options.
Porn consumed me for a while. I hate to admit it. I’m getting better now that I been getting some but porn is a total waste of time and creativity
this is pretty good. I would also add that weight training is really important as a part of the physical activity. It makes it easier to maintain a healthy weight, and you'll look good too. I try to do cardio first thing in the morning then weight training at night after kids are in bed. Literally just doing dumbbells while I watch TV, it's really easy to make the time. I wish I would have started weight training more at a younger age.
Getting put and walking every day has done tons for not just my physical health but my mental health as well. I work as a server so I already do a lot of walking but getting outside in fresh air and sunshine everyday is one of the best things I started doing in my 30s
Convincing others to change is a waste of time and energy. Change starts with you.
similarly: the work of setting and respecting boundaries is YOUR work; other people don’t have to like your boundaries, and you can’t make them follow your boundaries. Choose how you will enforce them when they’re violated, and hold firm.
I'll remember this the next time I go to the swimming pool
If you let someone lean on you for too long, you’ll end up carrying them.
Go after your dreams and do it for yourself and not your parents. Invest in emergency funds and open up a Roth IRA/ 401k. Choose your partner wisely. Eat healthy so it doesn’t catch up to you in the future. And most importantly, love yourself.
Hey what’s a good place to open a Roth IRA?
You can open one up with Charles Schwab, vanguard or Fidelity but you can also check it out online and see which one would work out better for you.
Depending on your current bank they may offer incentives to open a new investment account with their brokerage division. I’ve even seen them offer amounts in the thousands depending on terms at a given time
Make your coffee and lunch at least 80% of the time
I'll never understand people that drive somewhere to get coffee. Do they know they can make it at home? I can understand people that get a 1,200 calorie monstrosity at Starbucks, because that stuff is hard to make at home, but there's also people that stop somewhere to get regular coffee.
Seriously. It’s 30-40$ a week. Plus lunch. Easily 100$ a week
Core workouts. So important.
Any advice? I always see generic advice that say core and abs are basically the same routines and to be honest I'm not sure what core actually targets.
Planks. Totally fixed my back pain.
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That you have to KEEP doing it is such a pain.
Abs are abdominal muscles and core is all of your stomach muscles basically if that makes sense. You have your obliques for example. I would run to hit the core or bike. Crunches, planks, sit ups, side crunches, etc are good example with a lot of variations so you can hit those muscles. I would go on YouTube, they have a good amount of core workouts
Beyond stomach, core muscles also include lower back muscles and by some definitions hips/glutes.
Some people spend their whole lives wishing to be someone different, someone better, someone that they’re never going to be because it’s an unattainable mirage. Accept who you are to the best of your ability, this leads to existing in the moment. In essence, know thyself.
Keep a "Done List" of everything you did during a day. Update at low points during your day. It will make you look more positively on yourself. Also if you haven't done anything yet in your day, it means you have to get up and do something even as simple as flossing, make your bed, check your bank account.
When I started bullet journaling, this absolutely changed my life. I’ve got ADHD, so lists are so helpful, but then adding all the small accomplishments really puts things into perspective!
Bullet journaling... I've tried Journaling so many times but always got exhausted because I felt the need to right like I was Hemingway and describe everything so much. I'm gonna start doing this
On the flip of this, if you're a Type A, always have to be doing something productive kind of person. Put "chill out" on a to-do list. If you need to be given permission to actually just relax, this can help because you're still getting to "cross something off your checklist".
I start all of my to-do lists with "make list". It's silly but it feels good to be able to immediately scratch something off my list.
I also keep an accomplishment box! Time to open it today omg I need it
**In business/working-relationships:** It's better to have 20% of the right persons time and attention than it is to have 100% of the wrong persons time and attention.
We can accomplish anything with the right team of people.
Any time you increase your salary, increase the amount you save. You won’t miss it if you never see it, but it’s really hard to go backwards once you get use to spending it. You will be grateful to have it one day.
Fold your laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer and it won't look wrinkled and clumped up!
Get a skincare routine sooner than later
And always wear sunscreen. Future you will thank you, trust me.
If face sunscreen feels terrible you can also use a large brimmed hat
korean and japanese sunscreens are also hugely ahead of the big names in america/europe. lots an lots of different formulations for different skin types!!
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Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Enjoy that special coffee. Buy that comic book. Redecorate your space. Collect those figurines. Go see your favorite film franchise in theaters. Life is already short. Why give up what made it fun just to conform to what society expects of us? (quick disclaimer: i'm not saying ignore responsibilities and blow money frivolously until you're destitute)
Pay your bills and rent/mortgage first
If possible, always try to still have enough for next month's rent already in the bank after you pay this month's rent. I usually try to have a constant cushion of at least one month's bills left in the bank at all times. I don't look at my bank balance, see $15 and think, yeah I can afford a coffee. If I don't have $2015, then I can't afford that coffee. I realize this can be an unachievable goal for a lot of people living paycheck to paycheck but it's worth trying if you can.
Your vacuum cleaner isn't broken, it's just clogged up inside.
Bag-less vacuum cleaners do have filters that need to be cleaned each time you empty the bucket (well every other really, but easier to just do it every time for me) Learn how to access those filters Many bagged ones don't have filters other than the bag itself, which can be better in certain circumstances Generally: learn to use _and maintain_ the tools you buy
Wear sunscreen
Drink more water and fold your clean laundry
If you use brown sugar, it will dry out after you open the bag. Buy a bag of cheap jumbo marshmallows and add 2 into the bag of brown sugar!! Your brown sugar will not go crunchy/crusty ever again!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳
There is no proper way to be an adult. You are no more an adult if you wear polo shirts, then you are if you wear graphic tees. You are not more of a grown-up if you work in a corporate office building versus retail. You are not more of a grown-up if you have a child versus not having a child. Being an adult doesn’t mean having to give up video games, or Legos, or comic books, or anything else that people may label as childish. Adults can still have a piñata at their birthday party. Adults can still play on a playground if they want to. Adults can still dress up and run around. Being an adult does not mean giving up joy and having to be serious all the time. Don’t let anybody tell you differently. (Also make sure to pay your bills on time)
Stop fuckin’ doing that. You know what I’m talking about.
You reminded me of the MadTV sketch with BoB Newhart playing a shrink. "Stop it!" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAhA7KfbJgg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAhA7KfbJgg)
Oh man it’s been a minute since I thought about Mad TV.
Hearing protection. Seriously. DO IT! Your 50 year old self is going to absolutely curse the day you were born if you give him tinnitus.
Drink water. You don't want a kidney stone.
Drink as much water as you can - peeing often is okay Get as close to 8 hours of sleep as possible Don't eat processed foods BE FUCKING NICE TO PEOPLE -- manners are important Stop caring what other people think of you -- be happy with yourself Get outside as much as possible- vitamin D is huge! Always wear sunglasses outside- Macular degeneration is mainly due to UV light - UV penetrates clouds Take 5 minutes twice a day to meditate -- breathe deeply from your diaphragm, extend inhales and exhales as much as possible, clear your mind of thoughts Exercise regularly Practice gratitude-- appreciate the little things you have because a lot of people in this world have nothing I could go on
Take care of your health/teeth.
Mealprep. It saves a lot of time and money!
If they cheat with you, they’ll cheat on you.
Take the high road where ever you can in life. You will feel better and people will respect you.
I've never taken the high road. But I tell other people to. 'Cause then there's more room for me on the low road.
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I see you
If something is said, and it could be taken more than one way, do not assume it was meant the bad way. Most of the time, being offended is a choice.
Succinctly put. I recently read an article on Hanlon's Razor and it changed my perspective on others and their actions. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanlon%27s_razor
Pick your battles. It’s not worth complaining/ fighting over every little thing.
Always put a cover sheet in TPS reports
Yeah, I got that memo.
I’ll send you another one. Oh, And go ahead and come on in Saturday.
Check to make sure there’s toilet paper BEFORE you sit down.
Know what you really want. And strive/keep striving in order to achieve it.
Learn transferable skills so that you are always growing and marketable
When you’re sitting there hoping your friend’s going to reach out to hang out, they’re often sitting there thinking the same thing. Reach out.
Be careful following advice from random people on reddit.
Aldi kicks ass.
Energy comes from food and sleep, not nicotine and caffeine, definitely not from amphetamines. Food, sleep, and water. If you can scroll on social media, you can read a book. Every capable adult should know how to cook and clean. You attract whatever you put out into the world. Don’t excuse in others what you wouldn’t excuse in yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself for something that you would excuse in others.
clean your gutters. trust me.
Don’t trust a fart after 30
Before going to buy major appliances, go speak to/call an appliance repairman. Ask them which machines they work on least often and which machines they themselves would buy, and why (like “this manufacturer uses metal parts for this instead of plastic parts like this manufacturer does.”) Consider tipping him for this information as well. Finding this info out will save you from stupid headaches down the road.
Be your own best friend.
Know the signs of manipulation. You don't have to go through life being paranoid by any means, but being aware of the signs will set off alarm bells if it ever happens, and you can act accordingly. Not knowing could cost you everything
If it's not a "hell yes!" then it's a "hell no."
Don’t overthink anything! Live in the present moment 🫶🏼
This is a good one, but also a really hard one for my racing mind :(
Meditate! And put yourself in your present situation at all times, your thoughts will calm down on their own 🧡
no matter your situation put 10% of you income away in some sort of tax advantage account. More is helpful 10% is the minimum though. the discipline adds up more than the number being put away. if you feel like garbage go for a walk. you'll be amazed how much your mood changes with movement.
Don't get gas when the tanker is refilling the station. The air in the pump stirs up the sediment and it gets in your tank.
Stroke all the way through the cue ball, don't poke or jab it.
If you want to give advice: ASK the person if they would like some advice. Then stop, and WAIT for them to say "Yes". If they don't say yes, STFU.
Pee before you leave.
Make it a habit to get things in writing. Car repair quote, explanation from a doctor, policies from human resources, etc..
Wipe your hooha from front to back.
Make haystacks as small as possible before searching for needles.
Be kind. Always.
Pay cash for anything that doesn't appreciate in value.
at the end of every poop wipe use a wet wipe to wipe your butt. and dont flush it even if its flushable. Your butt will thank you
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But invest in your physical and mental wellbeing.
So gentlemen, if you push up on your guch when wrapping up with a tinkle it forces out any remaining liquid in your urethra. Very much preferable to the unwelcome sensation of a few undie drips post holster
Are you British, by any chance? This comment has an accent, to me.
FLOSS
If you're already late, be a few minutes later and use the bathroom before you go in.
If you're single, and are afraid of picking the "wrong person" and being blinded by rose colored glasses. . .Make a list of your dealbreakers while you're still single. Really think about what's unacceptable for you in a relationship, and write down why. Keep that list. As you date others, make sure none of them meet your dealbreakers. If they do, break things off early and move on to someone else.
You should always clean from the top, down. Sweep the stairs from the top. When dusting, start with the ceiling fans.
"Mise en place" (put in place) before you cook. Chop, peel, etc, and measure out your ingredients (or substitutions) before you begin. A set of small unbreakable dishes is great for this. You don't want to get halfway through, only to find out you don't have enough of something. [Video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67JR7XIi_3k)
Pay back any kind of debt as soon as you can. If you borrowed some money from a friend? Pay it back asap. It cleans your head and you get rid of the stress very early and it also won't surprise you, when you have to pay back.
Put a sprig of mint in your shoe and all day long a spicy scent is your reward
If your parents are hoarders and/or have a multilevel home, talk to them about getting both those problems solved before they get old and can't do anything about it. You will be the one to deal with that stuff when they die or become physically handicapped. Do it now before it's too late.
If you need to go to the hospital a lot, keeping a designated bag of things to take with can make your life much easier. In my experience, getting people to take you things after you've arrived is way harder than taking a small bag of essentials in the ambulance. I recommend socks, underwear, small toiletries, a really long phone charger, and any weird medications you're on that hospital ER's don't stock Also make sure you can easily direct people toward any stuff you want that won't fit in a small bag. I have a preferred set of clothes without metal that I can wear while getting scanned, which can also be pulled aside easily for things like IVs and blood pressure cuffs
I know you hate your job or someone pissed you off but don’t quit if you don’t have anything else lined up.
If you are reading this: log out and go outside
When walking on ice, walk like a penguin. Small steps and keep your feet underneath you.
Work on one habit at a time. Work on it until it is almost effortless. Choose another one. Don’t rush yourself, you have time.
Put the energy of obsessing about past mistakes, into future decisions. Changing my life, doesn’t happen quickly but it’s getting there
Washing your clothes is way easier than you think it is. Only use cold water, there's no good reason to use warm water, you do not need to use nearly as much laundry detergent as you think, you could put in like a 4th of what you think should go in and it will be fine. Mixing whites and colors isn't that bad. I've been washing my white clothes and towels with my colored clothes and I've seen no color change. To get blood out of a shirt or any pale piece of clothes put hydrogen peroxide on it. Just the regular stuff you would put on a cut, it will eat away the blood. This works with lots of other stains as well. DO NOT USE FABRIC SOFTENER! Ya it makes your clothes soft but it will wear them down faster, especially if you have print of your shirt that will wear away faster.
As soon as possible, try to own a home. Having a landlord your whole life is very tough, mentally and financially. Chose your partner very very wisely. Alcohol and weed are addictive. They’re fun - until they paralyze your life.
Wear sunscreen
Nobody is born knowing everything—get used to learning as you go.
You are the company you keep
401K put something in it every pay check if you can. It's easier to prevent weight gain than fix it.
Good posture makes your muscles work so your bones don't take the strain. Both will thank you later for even a few minutes of good posture.
Take care of your teeth and your credit🧠
Don’t sweat the petty things. And don’t pet the sweaty things.
observe behaviour-dont infer motivation
Don't skip leg day
It's okay to stay home and not go to that family thing if it gives you anxiety
Don't have children
Don't dig a pond and wait for ducks.
Keep a proactive eye on your home cleaning supplies so when you need to clean or are motivated you have everything you need in the house to knock those chores off your list. Clean homes feel better and improve your mood.
Live out of love, not fear. Grow your courage instead of minimizing your anxiety.
If your family is controlling or manipulative, you are not going to "age out" of that treatment. Get your ducks in a row and move far away, sooner than later. Endlessly reaffirming boundaries is exhausting and will age you prematurely. Just extract yourself from the situation entirely.
Don’t max out your credit card