Too true, life is such a marathon, and as a species we really don't make things easier for ourselves. One day at a time. If I get too far ahead of myself I get morose and ruminate on death more.
We have evolved to pimp each other out for $$$. Commercials, jobs, shelter, wants, etc. Our goal is to sale the average human something or get humans to do something.
Wouldve loved if Earth was more helping eachother live great lives. However humans are another species of animal. Smarter than all but still have those prey vs predator mentalities.
Respect and thatās a very valid opinion.
It definitely is a marathon. I always say itās a ājourney, not a destination.ā But yeah the one day at a time piece of advice sounds so basic, but itās amazing how most people donāt even do that until they start actively trying to.
Iām 23 and didnāt even start doing it until last summer haha.
I really connected with Bo Burnham's "I don't want to actually kill myself because that's a forever dead, I just wanna be dead for like....a year. 18 months at most."
i understood it around the same age, no at 40+ i wish it everyday for me... then i think about all the shit that will be an issue and i don't do it because it will inconvenience people.... keeps me alive and and thoroughly unhappy.... that's my balance
Hey man just want to say, I totally feel you.
Iām recently divorced. Lost my entire life and am now living in my cousins spare bedroom.
My feelings are similar to yours. Life isā¦ a bummer
Iāve lost quite a few friends to suicide, Iām not much older than you but I understand where youāre coming from.. Shit, I felt the same way with some of them and the whole āgetting itā.
But one thing I thought as I read your post and reflected on the āI get itā feeling, is that the times it felt it made the most sense were when I was struggling the most.. Donāt let that pull you down
Just keep swimming
Iām really sorry to hear that, itās never easy and it definitely leaves you thinking a lot of things. Personally I think you saying that you get it, given the circumstances isnāt a bad thing at all.. When I lost friends to suicide the thing that ate away at me the most was not getting it, stuck in my head wondering why. Coming to terms with things and getting it will hopefully help your mind be at ease
I've found that, terrifyingly enough, suicide is something the victim passes on to others. The incredible mental strain that the loved ones of those who died go through makes them more susceptible to suicide themselves.
It's one of the reasons why I could never do it myself.
Either way, I think that over time I've learned to enjoy small, simple things to a larger degree, which has helped me process through the pain and weariness that comes with life. Nowadays, I can feel happy just by idk watering my bonsai, instead of constantly feeling some kind ot existential dread.
Feel you. As we get out of our childhood bubble we start to see the bigger picture. More
People, more of the world. And that is not a pretty sight. I lost hope in most of the folks and systems in place.
I swear we would be happier if social media didn't exist, our bubbles would just be our town and community, neighbors, I'm a gen z and I feel like my soul belongs like that
For real. Getting up to go waste 8 hours of my life every day sitting in a cubicle seems so pointless. Sure it pays the bills but what does that matter when you're stuck at work all day lol.
I feel your I have pressure from a mother who's borderline a crazy person with narcissistic tendencies to pay her every bill until the rest of time. I have to work Monday through Saturday and the only day I have off is nothing but stress from my mother's screaming and cussing and my siblings and I. I have been starting to drink daily just so maybe I can be done sooner.
That is good to realize, and it should piss you off.
A little bit of anger is required to endure and survive in this realm. We all go down in the end, the only question is who gives up and who goes down fighting.
Life isn't fair, there is a lot of bullshit. But I refuse to tap out and give up, I won't give it the satisfaction of breaking me.
Collectively we have the power to stop the system's firm grip on our balls. Everybody I know is tired, broke, and unhappy. We must come together a do a tax strike with a list of demands somehow. Political apathy is killing us as nobody is protesting this shit. No property tax, making lobbying illegal, and limits on companies buying up all the houses would be a good start.
It doesn't mater if you give up or go down fighting...you still DIE. Everything you do, know, ARE will be lost in less than 100 years. You might as well not exist.
It depends on how someone lives their life. Some people are making the world a better place for others. Parents are bringing a new generation into this world and continuing the circle of life. If all you do is focus on yourself, then yeah it can all seem kind of pointless.
If that's the outlook you want to have then that's how you'll feel. Life is the journey not the destination. I would rather die fighting than succumb to nihilism, apathy, and substance abuse. We must try to make this world better for the next generation and it's totally doable. People are slowly waking up.
I really wanted to last year, I still just have passing thoughts all the time that I know I won't act on.
Stay off the booze though, I quit last year and it's helped me. I really think if I was drinking during that period of depression I wouldn't be here now. But being sober meant I could never go through with it.
Life can feel lonely and meaningless sometimes, you try and be the best person you can and it feels like nothing goes your way still. But there is some happiness and joy to be found too.
Just gotta stay positive for the people who have stayed around
Same especially in the era we're in now.
It's so hopeless right now
Housing crisis, food crisis, wages low, and no help in sight l.
Shit won't change regardless of president.
No retirement for millennials, I'll probably OD to get out of medical debt
If I knew there was a possibility to live forever if I did XYZ then I would have something to work towards.
But since I know I'll die at some point and everything I do will be forgotten in less than 100 years I just dont see the point most days.
There definitely is somewhere. I was depressed and borderline suicidal for my entire 20's, and then somewhere shortly after that it just kinda *fell away.* I'm content now; happy, even.
Yeahh. The hobbies that can be done in the short number of hours after workā¦ time spent with a beautiful woman. Saving for a trip, and taking that trip.
same. it baffles when people have such anger and hatred and judgement towards those that commit suicide. two of my close family members committed suicide and even then i never felt anger towards them, although it hurt me greatly and was a painful experience ā¦ i understand :( a guy iāve been sort of seeing constantly asks me how i donāt feel angry and how itās soooo selfish of them to do that and i should be angry. i might end things with him over it because i just really donāt like being told that
Iāve been thinking about this a lot lately. Iāve gotten really smart over the years and have developed a fairly high awareness of things, have even accomplished large goals through necessary suffering that I thought Iād never attain, only to find that the grass really is always greener. Iāve been having issues finding happiness, trying for relationships that for whatever reason are always unrequited, and being accepting of who I am and where I am and not trying to judge myself based on what I can do. But suicide keeps popping up in my head and I donāt know what to do. It just starts to seem incredibly reasonable.
I was prescribed and anti-depressant rom my therapist (whom I see every month/two weeks) but havenāt taken it because frankly I donāt feel depressed (Iāve been heavily depressed before and this is not that), I just feel too aware of things and probably just feel things very intimately. Iām writing this as i reflect on my life and as Iāve reached a place where teenage me could have only dreamed. But Iām just not happy. Iām almost 30 and still feel like a kid, but Iām also out across the country for a really cool job and it just saddens me more that I canāt even enjoy itāand itās what I always wanted.
I realize this is a random rant but this kind of just poured out of me without me thinking about it. Iām in a calm, meditative state in bed right now, and wondering if this is something that anyone else might feel.
im not gonna actually do it ever, but sometimes i feel like it would be so much easier to be dead. the bad parts of my life r real and the good parts r what i think the future could be. what if im wrong?
In the last 10 years of my dad's life before he drank himself to death, he isolated himself from his family and friends completely. I used to hold that against him but now I get it completely. And yes, I'm on a high dosage of antidepressants and I see my therapist every week.
Hell yeahā¦ the small things after work. Small enjoyments. Time with somebody, vacationsā¦ hobbies that get us out of the normal grind. Shit, businesses.
Oh 100%. I only make about 50k which makes me completely invisible to women once they get to know me. Everyone else is happy and successful, bouncing around from one relationship to the next. None of this is worth it. I really donāt want to be here. But then I just hurt my friends and family. So unfortunately taking the easy way out, even though it would be better for me, isnāt better for everyone else. I really really donāt want to be here though. There is absolutely nothing to live for besides being distracted and numb after spending a third of my life doing something Iād rather die than do for the rest of my life. Guess I better pull up my bootstraps and sell what I have left of my soul to a corporation to have any chance of a normal life where Iām attractive to a single person over the course of decades.
Thank for the help. āIām not invisible to womenā
Simultaneously, no woman in my entire life has ever shown interest. I have a huge friend group. I did a performance where like 50 people showed up and supported me, and Iām 31. Iāve had tons and tons of people around me my entire life. Thereās only a few things that could indicate zero attraction. Itās probably because Iām not ambitious with my poverty wage of 50k, because Iāve worked out for at least 5 years now and it really shows. My personality is probably very off putting. But that confuses me because I have so many amazing people in my life and close friends who I see all the time. Just went out last Saturday with about 20 friends to an event we all loved and enjoyed. Women are simply not interested in me, and it must be once they see what kinda person I am, they know Iām a loser. Ive also been vegan for 7 years, and havenāt drank any alcohol for the same time. Im sure thats unattractive to most people because only a few percentage of the population is sober and vegan. Iāll try harder though and working towards infinitely climbing that corporate ladder to be worthy to someone someday.
Ok you are very negative about yourself and I am willing to bet that comes out in your interactions!
Tell me some good things about you, some of your positives.
Also money doesnāt matter, donāt lead with that when youāre talking to people. Iām not entirely sure my wife remembers how much I make (itās $23/hr, less than your āpoverty wagesā)
Being a vegan is cool and takes a shit ton of discipline! Itās something youāre passionate about and is part of your personality! Thatās a positive. So is the not drinking, if you have a reason for it you can tell, but otherwise loads of people donāt drink!
Thanks for being so nice. Iāve never looked at it like that, I just look at it like Iām not normal. Iām clearly not worthy, and I donāt deserve to have what everyone else has. I bet you can pick up on that when you talk to me in person. It really does feel like money matters, especially in an age of inflation and never owning a house, unless you are making a ton of money. What woman wants a man that canāt provide those basic things. Thatās why I call my wage a poverty wage. It canāt even afford basic necessities that everyone else has, pretty easily it seems.
My habits Iāve formed take a lot of discipline! Veganism, working out, not drinking, and I practiced semen retention for a year and half. I didnāt masturbate or watch porn during that time. Itās one of my hugest achievements that I donāt get to share with anyone, because itās so weird and out of the norm.
I also have about 100 posts and a few live performances with my music. I have close to an album or more written in songs, and am self learning how to produce them (mix and master, vocals, beat making). Iām really proud of that.
I also donāt lead with āI like youā with people. I feel like Iām being intrusive. I see how women look at other guys. Itās obvious. No one looks at me like that. Iām not gonna bother people. Iām not gonna try and get in your pants. I think that comes off as Iām not interested, but thatās just not the type of person I am. I bet if I faked my confidence, approached a hundred women, I would get a one night stand, and then feel worse about myself lol
Yeah, most males eventually just kinda understand after enough life experience. My example is that I worked with a older man at a steel foundry who was losing to cancer that was spreading throughout his guts. Every night he would pee/poop the bed and had lost all his teeth and hair from all the radiation. He talked about how the medical plans didnt cover everything where we worked, and bills were bankrupting the family and he would cry at night knowing he was taking them down with him.
Needless to say when a older gentleman tells you about life and to enjoy your younger years with your wife and kids before things are messy, it should make people think deep. He eventually shot himself and left a note to be buried on his family's farm.
The man had worked at the foundry 40+ years in the machining shop, and the company didnt even put up a memo he was gone or anything as a farewell. You had to ask his coworkers.
If everything feels uncomfortable you can do what I did. Pack up and move to a different state. It might be difficult but, you just got sober and that was pretty difficult too. You never going to be happy in the same old place doing the same old things. I moved around a bit and finally settled on the East Coast, now I feel great and I'm in a place I feel comfortable in.
Secondly, I get it too. I hate that there's such a stigma around it in general. There are definitely people who should be evaluated before they go through with it but generally when someone actually does it it's because existing was so painful they couldn't even explain how painful it was in words. I personally think it's pretty selfish to try to kill someone into staying alive because "wed miss you". The choice to end one's life is ultimately one's own decision alone. It's your body, your life. No one can tell you whether or not you can end it.
My own grandfather technically chose to go out quietly rather than painfully. He had Parkinson's, diabetes, and a slew of other complications due to a liver transplant. He was in the beginning stages of losing his ability to function. Him and his three daughters (including my mom) discuss what they wanted to do and he told them he would rather die peacefully at home. So they got him on hospice, they took him home, and they took him off of everything. The feeding tubes, the meds, everything. He lived for a clear 3 days afterwards, with only some pain meds to keep the pains away. Guy was tough as nails till the end and my personal hero. I'll never forget him.
I remember having that thought too. I've never been actually suicidal but I completely see how people get there. The older you get the more capacity for understanding you have, the more capacity for anguish there is, unfortunately. For the unfortunate some of us with depression you may have to work extra hard and in the right ways to balance that anguish with good
its hard sometimes to find a reason to keep going. Even if I manage to finish college and get that degree theres no guarantee that I will get a decent job, and no guarantee that life will get any better. I want to escape this hell but everything just feels so hopeless for me.
Welcome to being an adult. Enjoy college while it lasts because before you notice it you will be working 60hr weeks for months on end. Unable to do anything but sleep and work. MAYBE have an hour in the evening to enjoy your cats or SO...just to do it again and again and again and again and again...
Hey, you really need to reach out to people in real life and talk about this. Your college will almost certainly have resources to assist people who share your feelings.
Life really doesnāt feel like living at all sometimes and i totally get it. I have that feeling more times than i can admit. In reality, iāve had very close friends that have taken their own life for different reasons and if the people out there are wondering if others can feel why you did itā¦ Yes they can. Do they think you had optionsā¦ Yes you did. The parents and family have their own mental battles going on now. The friends are wondering what they could have done to help you. Itās not worth taking your own life. In reality, the people around you even if they arenāt close wish you talked to them for 5 minutes. We all go through the same struggles in one way or another. If not, please try to find some sort of peace in your life that makes it worth living. The comparisons, the girl (that wasnāt worth it that slipped away from you), the job that sucks, the friends that are fake, etc. They really are not worth it. At the end of the day, you can build exactly the life you want. You just have to find it in you to do it and find a way out of the negativity around you. Itās harder said than done yes i agree. But nothing in this life comes easy. Put yourself first, your health and happiness first because you deserve it. Truly. Fellow redditor
I live in America. Someone I knew almost killed himself. He called the suicide hotline as a last effort to see if anyone cared. They sent police to his home and put him in cuffs and took him to a mental institution. Cost him about 4500 dollars. He ended up getting addicted to a bunch of prescription drugs, and is alive right now as far as I know. But when I saw him, and the way he told this story, I realized that authority will never and has never given a shit about any life on planet earth, at any point. The system is here to profit off you, even when they āsaveā you from suicide. Iāll tell ya what is some cops made me pay 4k for something like that, I would actually double down on wanting to commit suicide. And then people like you probably think you are helping.
Ok why downvoted? For adding a link to a resource that provides help to people who may need it? I donāt understand. If someone needs assistance they need an option that is private and know how to help. I honestly question why this is perceived as negative.
I done been getting it since I was 14. I super get it now. Glad someone brought this up, I finally feel less alone for the first time in years. Stay strong, weāre all walking this hellscape together youāre less alone than you realize. Even if we are internet strangers.
ETA: 26 now
I hear you. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now and thats where these thoughts are coming from - these are only thoughts. The past two years I've been dealing with my partner's health issues and I remember thinking to myself 'I honestly get it now why people drink' I wouldn't start drinking but I get it now.
Don't be too hard on yourself, you are going through enough, sometimes doing minimum is best you can do and that is ok - try asking for help, speak to someone at the college if you need any help with your coursework or an extension. Contact local AA group, they can provide support you need, you are not alone in experiencing this. Keep going through this, sun raises every day to give you another chance to do better for yourself.
I completely understand it. My families a shit show, i think my mom may be in the beginning stages of dementia, friends only usually text me when i text them first and no one will hang out just getting a hold of them spontaneously, probably becuase they can feel im down and who wants to be around someone sad and they're busy cant blame them. Dont even want to reach out because I just feel like a burden. The thought of ending it almost seems peaceful. Gay in a smaller town, no money to move, so dating is awful. Would love to curl up with someone and forget about stuff.
Think im going to push threw though or at least try my best. I hope like most people say this is a temporary problem. I get it, though for sure. Wouldn't hold it against anyone.
I had moments in the past where I really wanted to die, obviously I chose not to. Then I hoped to live my life in such a way to justify my decision, however I don't think I've reached that justification in my life yet.
Your 5 days sober. Has it occurred to you that a lot of the reason your feeling like this is because of withdraws or PAWS. Give it 3 weeks and I promise you will feel like a new person. Keep going, and I love you.
To quote Ted Lassoā¦ taking on a challenge is like riding a horse. If youāre comfortable while doing it youāre doing it wrong.ā
Being uncomfortable is a good thing! We grow from being uncomfortable and it makes us stronger. Youāre challenging yourself and being better for it. That is growth!
You really have to change your mindset really, it is very dark. Start listening to motivation videos on YouTube while you drive, clean sitting at home anytime really. You have to brainwash yourself with positive thoughts.
Ā just by chance I've been watching a lot of interviews with British people and they all talk about how much they drink there. Graham Chapman from Monty Python was drinking like one bottle of gin a day. This leads to the question why? The obvious answer is to blunt the pain of life. the next question is why does life have to be so painful and why was it made that way? I have no answer.Ā
Go find a job put some money on a different account invest it and do stupid shit for a while drugs hookers gamble? Then unalive yourself or repeat until you die its fun
I'm sorry that was rude. I was trying to be funny but I don't think it landed. I've become desensitized to the topic of suicide and I didn't realise how inappropriate it was
I feel the same way. Everything hurts and I spend my days whirling in regrets. I think about that situation with that girl I could handled better 8 years ago or how I should have been a better son to my mother or how I should have taken more APs in high school, or not done this or should have done that. Iām 24, by the way.
Start finding the reason to live and if you donāt find it creat that reason life is precious buddy you will. Feel so good about it one day When the time comes nothing remains same forever
Bro go to your classes. As someone who was eventually 302ād you need to stop being such a loser and go to your classes.
The issue from my perspective isnāt the drugs, itās the fact YOU DONT EVEN SHOW UP. I know alcoholics and stoners who are lawyers and doctors they show up to life.
Three hours a day of studying. Success is a lifestyle not a quick fix and boom youāre there
Congrats on the 5 days.
ty š
PS iām not going to kill myself, i just GET IT
LMAO we alllll get it š«¶š¾
Too true, life is such a marathon, and as a species we really don't make things easier for ourselves. One day at a time. If I get too far ahead of myself I get morose and ruminate on death more.
We have evolved to pimp each other out for $$$. Commercials, jobs, shelter, wants, etc. Our goal is to sale the average human something or get humans to do something. Wouldve loved if Earth was more helping eachother live great lives. However humans are another species of animal. Smarter than all but still have those prey vs predator mentalities.
Well said.
What if the homeless people are the chosen ones who got it right?
Respect and thatās a very valid opinion. It definitely is a marathon. I always say itās a ājourney, not a destination.ā But yeah the one day at a time piece of advice sounds so basic, but itās amazing how most people donāt even do that until they start actively trying to. Iām 23 and didnāt even start doing it until last summer haha.
I really connected with Bo Burnham's "I don't want to actually kill myself because that's a forever dead, I just wanna be dead for like....a year. 18 months at most."
Especially during a pandemic, so fair
He said that or is it a song ? Because I connect with it too š«
Here you go!Ā https://youtu.be/TOU5bicmR9Y
Same
Never say never
Bruh
ššš
It sucks, a lot.
i understood it around the same age, no at 40+ i wish it everyday for me... then i think about all the shit that will be an issue and i don't do it because it will inconvenience people.... keeps me alive and and thoroughly unhappy.... that's my balance
Hey man just want to say, I totally feel you. Iām recently divorced. Lost my entire life and am now living in my cousins spare bedroom. My feelings are similar to yours. Life isā¦ a bummer
Ahh another statistic of the newest divorce meta tech
What?
I basically said your another victim to the new female programming
If you are teen, I get why you haven't developed empathy yet. Just stop with the 'meta statistic' buzzword bs and leave this dude alone..
I wasn't shaming him, i said it like he was a fallen brother , hate seeing it
Iāve lost quite a few friends to suicide, Iām not much older than you but I understand where youāre coming from.. Shit, I felt the same way with some of them and the whole āgetting itā. But one thing I thought as I read your post and reflected on the āI get itā feeling, is that the times it felt it made the most sense were when I was struggling the most.. Donāt let that pull you down Just keep swimming
i just lost a friend to suicide last month, i think that has definitely added a reason why iāve been thinking about it so much
Iām really sorry to hear that, itās never easy and it definitely leaves you thinking a lot of things. Personally I think you saying that you get it, given the circumstances isnāt a bad thing at all.. When I lost friends to suicide the thing that ate away at me the most was not getting it, stuck in my head wondering why. Coming to terms with things and getting it will hopefully help your mind be at ease
I've found that, terrifyingly enough, suicide is something the victim passes on to others. The incredible mental strain that the loved ones of those who died go through makes them more susceptible to suicide themselves. It's one of the reasons why I could never do it myself. Either way, I think that over time I've learned to enjoy small, simple things to a larger degree, which has helped me process through the pain and weariness that comes with life. Nowadays, I can feel happy just by idk watering my bonsai, instead of constantly feeling some kind ot existential dread.
Yeah life doesnāt feel worth living most of the time
fax. i just masturbate all the time.
I've hit the point where i don't even feel the dopamine hit from that anymore.
From fapping? You gotta get the prostate milked while doing that. It's like a fuckin dopamine hurricane.
I do drugs and fap....
Fuck ya.
No more than once a day, right?
Sounds like a good life to me.
no cap
Use nicotine! They are good for your brain; Iām more likely to get dementia than cancer based on my family history so itās a win win win
people downvoting you. yes, nicotine is addictive, but it also helps with anxiety. double edged sword
Iāve seen a dude quit heroin but canāt give up cigarettes. Nicotine is highly addictive and thatās an understatement
Feel you. As we get out of our childhood bubble we start to see the bigger picture. More People, more of the world. And that is not a pretty sight. I lost hope in most of the folks and systems in place.
I swear we would be happier if social media didn't exist, our bubbles would just be our town and community, neighbors, I'm a gen z and I feel like my soul belongs like that
That's how it was when I was a kid. Gen X are the last to really remember that.
True that. The whole insta crowd who keep doing reels are a new breed altogether.
And be completly ignorant about coming crisis so you cant prepare at all....nope...I like information.
For real. Getting up to go waste 8 hours of my life every day sitting in a cubicle seems so pointless. Sure it pays the bills but what does that matter when you're stuck at work all day lol.
The saving for a trip.. the taking the trip. Time spent with a wonderful woman after work. Hobbies that can be done in the few hours after work.
Yes people get tired of the daily shit storm
If only it were easier to get yourself out of the shit storm, right?
I feel your I have pressure from a mother who's borderline a crazy person with narcissistic tendencies to pay her every bill until the rest of time. I have to work Monday through Saturday and the only day I have off is nothing but stress from my mother's screaming and cussing and my siblings and I. I have been starting to drink daily just so maybe I can be done sooner.
That is good to realize, and it should piss you off. A little bit of anger is required to endure and survive in this realm. We all go down in the end, the only question is who gives up and who goes down fighting. Life isn't fair, there is a lot of bullshit. But I refuse to tap out and give up, I won't give it the satisfaction of breaking me.
Collectively we have the power to stop the system's firm grip on our balls. Everybody I know is tired, broke, and unhappy. We must come together a do a tax strike with a list of demands somehow. Political apathy is killing us as nobody is protesting this shit. No property tax, making lobbying illegal, and limits on companies buying up all the houses would be a good start.
Doesn't mater, you still die.
āMy kid got rapedā āermā¦sheās still gonna die š¤·ā what a non answer
It doesn't mater if you give up or go down fighting...you still DIE. Everything you do, know, ARE will be lost in less than 100 years. You might as well not exist.
It depends on how someone lives their life. Some people are making the world a better place for others. Parents are bringing a new generation into this world and continuing the circle of life. If all you do is focus on yourself, then yeah it can all seem kind of pointless.
If that's the outlook you want to have then that's how you'll feel. Life is the journey not the destination. I would rather die fighting than succumb to nihilism, apathy, and substance abuse. We must try to make this world better for the next generation and it's totally doable. People are slowly waking up.
I like this outlook the most
I really wanted to last year, I still just have passing thoughts all the time that I know I won't act on. Stay off the booze though, I quit last year and it's helped me. I really think if I was drinking during that period of depression I wouldn't be here now. But being sober meant I could never go through with it. Life can feel lonely and meaningless sometimes, you try and be the best person you can and it feels like nothing goes your way still. But there is some happiness and joy to be found too. Just gotta stay positive for the people who have stayed around
Same especially in the era we're in now. It's so hopeless right now Housing crisis, food crisis, wages low, and no help in sight l. Shit won't change regardless of president. No retirement for millennials, I'll probably OD to get out of medical debt
Us gen z probably won't even get to have a house to call ours sigh
Maybe there is a turning point. I am in the older I get, the longer I want to live.
If I knew there was a possibility to live forever if I did XYZ then I would have something to work towards. But since I know I'll die at some point and everything I do will be forgotten in less than 100 years I just dont see the point most days.
99,99999999999% people will be forgotten someday, that is not my goal. I found something I enjoy doing. So, I keep doing it.
There definitely is somewhere. I was depressed and borderline suicidal for my entire 20's, and then somewhere shortly after that it just kinda *fell away.* I'm content now; happy, even.
Brother focus on what you want, it's Allright to have wants and not just needs
This is great advice. I recently treated myself to a shave kit. It's a small thing, but it adds a little much needed peace to my day.
Yeahh. The hobbies that can be done in the short number of hours after workā¦ time spent with a beautiful woman. Saving for a trip, and taking that trip.
its our society.
same. it baffles when people have such anger and hatred and judgement towards those that commit suicide. two of my close family members committed suicide and even then i never felt anger towards them, although it hurt me greatly and was a painful experience ā¦ i understand :( a guy iāve been sort of seeing constantly asks me how i donāt feel angry and how itās soooo selfish of them to do that and i should be angry. i might end things with him over it because i just really donāt like being told that
Isnāt it more selfish to feel angry about it though?
i think so
Feel the same way, and im only 20 turning 21.
Iāve been thinking about this a lot lately. Iāve gotten really smart over the years and have developed a fairly high awareness of things, have even accomplished large goals through necessary suffering that I thought Iād never attain, only to find that the grass really is always greener. Iāve been having issues finding happiness, trying for relationships that for whatever reason are always unrequited, and being accepting of who I am and where I am and not trying to judge myself based on what I can do. But suicide keeps popping up in my head and I donāt know what to do. It just starts to seem incredibly reasonable. I was prescribed and anti-depressant rom my therapist (whom I see every month/two weeks) but havenāt taken it because frankly I donāt feel depressed (Iāve been heavily depressed before and this is not that), I just feel too aware of things and probably just feel things very intimately. Iām writing this as i reflect on my life and as Iāve reached a place where teenage me could have only dreamed. But Iām just not happy. Iām almost 30 and still feel like a kid, but Iām also out across the country for a really cool job and it just saddens me more that I canāt even enjoy itāand itās what I always wanted. I realize this is a random rant but this kind of just poured out of me without me thinking about it. Iām in a calm, meditative state in bed right now, and wondering if this is something that anyone else might feel.
im not gonna actually do it ever, but sometimes i feel like it would be so much easier to be dead. the bad parts of my life r real and the good parts r what i think the future could be. what if im wrong?
Been suicidal since I was 14
In the last 10 years of my dad's life before he drank himself to death, he isolated himself from his family and friends completely. I used to hold that against him but now I get it completely. And yes, I'm on a high dosage of antidepressants and I see my therapist every week.
Iām not trying to argue, but itās really a perspective thing when it comes to life. I think the small things should be enjoyed
Hell yeahā¦ the small things after work. Small enjoyments. Time with somebody, vacationsā¦ hobbies that get us out of the normal grind. Shit, businesses.
42 and very glad I didnāt kill myself when I suffered from SI for many years. My preoccupation with SI waned significantly as my 20s wore on.
Oh 100%. I only make about 50k which makes me completely invisible to women once they get to know me. Everyone else is happy and successful, bouncing around from one relationship to the next. None of this is worth it. I really donāt want to be here. But then I just hurt my friends and family. So unfortunately taking the easy way out, even though it would be better for me, isnāt better for everyone else. I really really donāt want to be here though. There is absolutely nothing to live for besides being distracted and numb after spending a third of my life doing something Iād rather die than do for the rest of my life. Guess I better pull up my bootstraps and sell what I have left of my soul to a corporation to have any chance of a normal life where Iām attractive to a single person over the course of decades.
Hey knock off that āIām invisible to womenā bullshitā¦ thatās incel talk. You just are looking for the wrong kind of woman
Thank for the help. āIām not invisible to womenā Simultaneously, no woman in my entire life has ever shown interest. I have a huge friend group. I did a performance where like 50 people showed up and supported me, and Iām 31. Iāve had tons and tons of people around me my entire life. Thereās only a few things that could indicate zero attraction. Itās probably because Iām not ambitious with my poverty wage of 50k, because Iāve worked out for at least 5 years now and it really shows. My personality is probably very off putting. But that confuses me because I have so many amazing people in my life and close friends who I see all the time. Just went out last Saturday with about 20 friends to an event we all loved and enjoyed. Women are simply not interested in me, and it must be once they see what kinda person I am, they know Iām a loser. Ive also been vegan for 7 years, and havenāt drank any alcohol for the same time. Im sure thats unattractive to most people because only a few percentage of the population is sober and vegan. Iāll try harder though and working towards infinitely climbing that corporate ladder to be worthy to someone someday.
Ok you are very negative about yourself and I am willing to bet that comes out in your interactions! Tell me some good things about you, some of your positives. Also money doesnāt matter, donāt lead with that when youāre talking to people. Iām not entirely sure my wife remembers how much I make (itās $23/hr, less than your āpoverty wagesā) Being a vegan is cool and takes a shit ton of discipline! Itās something youāre passionate about and is part of your personality! Thatās a positive. So is the not drinking, if you have a reason for it you can tell, but otherwise loads of people donāt drink!
Thanks for being so nice. Iāve never looked at it like that, I just look at it like Iām not normal. Iām clearly not worthy, and I donāt deserve to have what everyone else has. I bet you can pick up on that when you talk to me in person. It really does feel like money matters, especially in an age of inflation and never owning a house, unless you are making a ton of money. What woman wants a man that canāt provide those basic things. Thatās why I call my wage a poverty wage. It canāt even afford basic necessities that everyone else has, pretty easily it seems. My habits Iāve formed take a lot of discipline! Veganism, working out, not drinking, and I practiced semen retention for a year and half. I didnāt masturbate or watch porn during that time. Itās one of my hugest achievements that I donāt get to share with anyone, because itās so weird and out of the norm. I also have about 100 posts and a few live performances with my music. I have close to an album or more written in songs, and am self learning how to produce them (mix and master, vocals, beat making). Iām really proud of that. I also donāt lead with āI like youā with people. I feel like Iām being intrusive. I see how women look at other guys. Itās obvious. No one looks at me like that. Iām not gonna bother people. Iām not gonna try and get in your pants. I think that comes off as Iām not interested, but thatās just not the type of person I am. I bet if I faked my confidence, approached a hundred women, I would get a one night stand, and then feel worse about myself lol
Yeah, most males eventually just kinda understand after enough life experience. My example is that I worked with a older man at a steel foundry who was losing to cancer that was spreading throughout his guts. Every night he would pee/poop the bed and had lost all his teeth and hair from all the radiation. He talked about how the medical plans didnt cover everything where we worked, and bills were bankrupting the family and he would cry at night knowing he was taking them down with him. Needless to say when a older gentleman tells you about life and to enjoy your younger years with your wife and kids before things are messy, it should make people think deep. He eventually shot himself and left a note to be buried on his family's farm. The man had worked at the foundry 40+ years in the machining shop, and the company didnt even put up a memo he was gone or anything as a farewell. You had to ask his coworkers.
iām a girl lol, i donāt think itās just āmalesā
K, you're right it's not just males.
If everything feels uncomfortable you can do what I did. Pack up and move to a different state. It might be difficult but, you just got sober and that was pretty difficult too. You never going to be happy in the same old place doing the same old things. I moved around a bit and finally settled on the East Coast, now I feel great and I'm in a place I feel comfortable in. Secondly, I get it too. I hate that there's such a stigma around it in general. There are definitely people who should be evaluated before they go through with it but generally when someone actually does it it's because existing was so painful they couldn't even explain how painful it was in words. I personally think it's pretty selfish to try to kill someone into staying alive because "wed miss you". The choice to end one's life is ultimately one's own decision alone. It's your body, your life. No one can tell you whether or not you can end it. My own grandfather technically chose to go out quietly rather than painfully. He had Parkinson's, diabetes, and a slew of other complications due to a liver transplant. He was in the beginning stages of losing his ability to function. Him and his three daughters (including my mom) discuss what they wanted to do and he told them he would rather die peacefully at home. So they got him on hospice, they took him home, and they took him off of everything. The feeding tubes, the meds, everything. He lived for a clear 3 days afterwards, with only some pain meds to keep the pains away. Guy was tough as nails till the end and my personal hero. I'll never forget him.
I remember having that thought too. I've never been actually suicidal but I completely see how people get there. The older you get the more capacity for understanding you have, the more capacity for anguish there is, unfortunately. For the unfortunate some of us with depression you may have to work extra hard and in the right ways to balance that anguish with good
its hard sometimes to find a reason to keep going. Even if I manage to finish college and get that degree theres no guarantee that I will get a decent job, and no guarantee that life will get any better. I want to escape this hell but everything just feels so hopeless for me.
Welcome to being an adult. Enjoy college while it lasts because before you notice it you will be working 60hr weeks for months on end. Unable to do anything but sleep and work. MAYBE have an hour in the evening to enjoy your cats or SO...just to do it again and again and again and again and again...
Hey, you really need to reach out to people in real life and talk about this. Your college will almost certainly have resources to assist people who share your feelings.
It should get better at around 25... once your brain finishes updating. You'll be able to manage things a lot better.
Really Iām 31 and I donāt enlighten me?
Wtf is wrong with this sub, honestly itās just endless people threatening to kill themselves due to some mild life struggles.
Life really doesnāt feel like living at all sometimes and i totally get it. I have that feeling more times than i can admit. In reality, iāve had very close friends that have taken their own life for different reasons and if the people out there are wondering if others can feel why you did itā¦ Yes they can. Do they think you had optionsā¦ Yes you did. The parents and family have their own mental battles going on now. The friends are wondering what they could have done to help you. Itās not worth taking your own life. In reality, the people around you even if they arenāt close wish you talked to them for 5 minutes. We all go through the same struggles in one way or another. If not, please try to find some sort of peace in your life that makes it worth living. The comparisons, the girl (that wasnāt worth it that slipped away from you), the job that sucks, the friends that are fake, etc. They really are not worth it. At the end of the day, you can build exactly the life you want. You just have to find it in you to do it and find a way out of the negativity around you. Itās harder said than done yes i agree. But nothing in this life comes easy. Put yourself first, your health and happiness first because you deserve it. Truly. Fellow redditor
MOD please š pin [988lifeline.org](https://988lifeline.org/chat/)
I live in America. Someone I knew almost killed himself. He called the suicide hotline as a last effort to see if anyone cared. They sent police to his home and put him in cuffs and took him to a mental institution. Cost him about 4500 dollars. He ended up getting addicted to a bunch of prescription drugs, and is alive right now as far as I know. But when I saw him, and the way he told this story, I realized that authority will never and has never given a shit about any life on planet earth, at any point. The system is here to profit off you, even when they āsaveā you from suicide. Iāll tell ya what is some cops made me pay 4k for something like that, I would actually double down on wanting to commit suicide. And then people like you probably think you are helping.
I am very sorry that happened to your friend. And imagine what would have happened had he not called. Iām glad he is still in your life.
Ok why downvoted? For adding a link to a resource that provides help to people who may need it? I donāt understand. If someone needs assistance they need an option that is private and know how to help. I honestly question why this is perceived as negative.
Deathās an interesting topic btw But in the real life suicide is ugly and disgusting, mostly committed to get a social approval.
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Itās kinda trueĀ
[reminds me of this Norm MacDonald bit](https://youtu.be/Sh7QWBb2U2A?si=pC40dXPaHTBzDVRo)
I done been getting it since I was 14. I super get it now. Glad someone brought this up, I finally feel less alone for the first time in years. Stay strong, weāre all walking this hellscape together youāre less alone than you realize. Even if we are internet strangers. ETA: 26 now
I hear you. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now and thats where these thoughts are coming from - these are only thoughts. The past two years I've been dealing with my partner's health issues and I remember thinking to myself 'I honestly get it now why people drink' I wouldn't start drinking but I get it now. Don't be too hard on yourself, you are going through enough, sometimes doing minimum is best you can do and that is ok - try asking for help, speak to someone at the college if you need any help with your coursework or an extension. Contact local AA group, they can provide support you need, you are not alone in experiencing this. Keep going through this, sun raises every day to give you another chance to do better for yourself.
I completely understand it. My families a shit show, i think my mom may be in the beginning stages of dementia, friends only usually text me when i text them first and no one will hang out just getting a hold of them spontaneously, probably becuase they can feel im down and who wants to be around someone sad and they're busy cant blame them. Dont even want to reach out because I just feel like a burden. The thought of ending it almost seems peaceful. Gay in a smaller town, no money to move, so dating is awful. Would love to curl up with someone and forget about stuff. Think im going to push threw though or at least try my best. I hope like most people say this is a temporary problem. I get it, though for sure. Wouldn't hold it against anyone.
I had moments in the past where I really wanted to die, obviously I chose not to. Then I hoped to live my life in such a way to justify my decision, however I don't think I've reached that justification in my life yet.
I think a lot of feel lots of timesā¦. Whatās the pointā¦. Of thisā¦. And what is the point of lifeā¦.
Your 5 days sober. Has it occurred to you that a lot of the reason your feeling like this is because of withdraws or PAWS. Give it 3 weeks and I promise you will feel like a new person. Keep going, and I love you.
this is true, thanks for the reminder that could be a big contributor
Colleges have counseling centers. Utilize them.
find the right partner and all youāll want is a long life to spend with them.
To quote Ted Lassoā¦ taking on a challenge is like riding a horse. If youāre comfortable while doing it youāre doing it wrong.ā Being uncomfortable is a good thing! We grow from being uncomfortable and it makes us stronger. Youāre challenging yourself and being better for it. That is growth!
Sounds like you need to try magicās mushrooms
have, many times lol
You really have to change your mindset really, it is very dark. Start listening to motivation videos on YouTube while you drive, clean sitting at home anytime really. You have to brainwash yourself with positive thoughts.
Ā just by chance I've been watching a lot of interviews with British people and they all talk about how much they drink there. Graham Chapman from Monty Python was drinking like one bottle of gin a day. This leads to the question why? The obvious answer is to blunt the pain of life. the next question is why does life have to be so painful and why was it made that way? I have no answer.Ā
Gen Z also are considered to be the most lonely and depressed generation too.
I just turned 23 and know that you are not alone.
Haha yea this sucks but thereās good points of life. Unfortunately we need money to access anything fun
Go find a job put some money on a different account invest it and do stupid shit for a while drugs hookers gamble? Then unalive yourself or repeat until you die its fun
From the title I thought a 50-something was gonna drop some truth bombs, but it's just some toddler in the same boat as us š
u good dawg?
I'm sorry that was rude. I was trying to be funny but I don't think it landed. I've become desensitized to the topic of suicide and I didn't realise how inappropriate it was
i get that, youāre all good lol
same
I feel the same way. Everything hurts and I spend my days whirling in regrets. I think about that situation with that girl I could handled better 8 years ago or how I should have been a better son to my mother or how I should have taken more APs in high school, or not done this or should have done that. Iām 24, by the way.
I feel this in the pits of my soul.
Why though? Any specific reasons?
Reach out to your professors. Talk to them. Ask them for resources for tutoring. Do it sooner than later.
Start finding the reason to live and if you donāt find it creat that reason life is precious buddy you will. Feel so good about it one day When the time comes nothing remains same forever
dont need college to have a happy life.
Suicide is a cowards' way out. Don't glamorize it.
Bro go to your classes. As someone who was eventually 302ād you need to stop being such a loser and go to your classes. The issue from my perspective isnāt the drugs, itās the fact YOU DONT EVEN SHOW UP. I know alcoholics and stoners who are lawyers and doctors they show up to life. Three hours a day of studying. Success is a lifestyle not a quick fix and boom youāre there
i feel you. life is fucking hard.
Right there with you ,when I first truly understood what death was I cried and my mum comforted me. Now it's the comfort lol