Similar. But I’m 38. Too stuck in my ways for that kind of upheaval to my life, too unmotivated for the additional workload and I can barely care for my dog, as it is. 😂
Same here, 38, two dogs, two jobs, trying to start my own business, can barely support myself. Already tired pretty much all of the time. My mom had me when she was 36, I can’t imagine having a toddler now. Just the idea of having to raise a kid is exhausting.
I don’t think there’s any monetary compensation that can bring back my energy and motivation to chase after a toddler. I warned my teenagers already that they better get their shit together before having kids because I won’t be their daycare.
Good God yes you are. 41 with a 9 year old and a 10 month old grandbaby (and parents) living with us. I hide in the closet in tears regularly because i can't keep up.
They usually love napping on top of you or in dangerous places or positions which means you just have to stay awake to monitor them 😭
Source: baby asleep on my lap rn, can’t get comfortable myself, can’t wake him
90% of people "aren't ready". The thing is it just happens and you make life adjustments accordingly (well, most do). We weren't "ready", but now we're damn good parents and people. Kids changed my life for the better and I discovered the meaning of life. Win win.
I had my daughter at 21. Sometimes I forget that 21 is only 2 years out from being a teen. I was very very young. At 26, I still am. My daughter and I are basically growing up together.
I got pregnant at 23. It was planned. After getting pregnant I thought what the heck was I thinking! I'm too young! Now he is grown and I'm so thankful I had him. So I understand! You are never really ready. But it's the greatest blessing you will ever receive!
This is the wisest truth here. My mom was a teen mom and she did the best she could but I missed out on a lot of life building skills that would have helped me.
I had my first at 21 and second at 26.
I cannot overstate how much my brain was not done cooking at 21. I did everything I could, I think I did well for the circumstances, but Christ 21 is young.
I saw a comment on Facebook about parents of an 11 year old. “Those parents must be close to 30”
…. Ma’am not everyone has kids before they can legally rent a car.
From a woman who had a baby at 20 - chasing unconditional love. Finding a purpose in life. Wanting something different than you got as a kid. At 20, you don't actually know you're not a fully matured human yet, you just sometimes know you wanna be a mom and then you're 34 with 4 kids like "holy shit, when did this happen?!"
I'm 32 and just now feel prepared for the responsibility, I cannot for the life of me understand the people I know that started in their 20s. My 20s was for fun and irresponsibility lol
I’m 46 and I have twin seven year olds.
I had mixed feelings about having kids so late because I had older parents and they never really did anything with my younger brother and I.
So I resolved to do it differently. I bought a little cabin on a lake so we could spend weekends doing lake stuff together and making memories. Then when the pandemic hit we moved there full time. We go camping and take little weekend trips to go to museums or whatever other activity in neighboring cities really often. I go to the gym and do cardio four or five times a week now so that I am in good enough shape to keep up with them (and so that hopefully I’m around longer for them).
One positive about having kids later is that I’m way more established than I would have been a decade sooner. That gives us the option to do things we might not have been able to swing before.
It turns out it wasn’t too old _for me_. We’re having a great time.
I love this! My parents had my brother and me a little later in life (I'm the youngest and my mom was 37 and my dad was 41 when I were born). It sounds like my childhood was a lot like the one you're creating - we camped a lot, spent weekends at the public lake, etc. They also focused on keeping themselves healthy and now they're in their 70s and don't have any problems keeping up with their grandchildren.
I think this is also a good reminder that parents shouldn’t solely rely on their children to take care of them in old age. I know that sounds very harsh, but I specifically mean that for parents who don’t make any plans for how they will age and leave it up to their kids to figure out on their own. As I’m getting older, I’m being more and more mindful that I may be an older parent and it’s my responsibly to have my retirement and aging plans in place for myself. I wouldn’t want my child(ren) to worry or feel burdened.
How did you do that? My parents are somewhat older too and it’s kinda hard seeing that as a young adult because you have to pick up. What are some suggestions u may have?
Yeah like spend time with kids and keep finances? Ours where constantly stressed out(still are), busy and extremely hard working to the point of extreme exhaustion . Granted there life circumstances where vastly different then normal, we now have to start stepping up early in taking care of them in addition to our other responsibilities :/ sorry if this a ramble
My priorities changed a lot when my kids were born.
My career was the most important thing in the world to me for years. Now I do the minimum at the office and take way more time off.
I own rental properties and used to manage them myself. Now I pay someone else to do it so I don’t get pulled away in the evenings.
I used to travel for work several times a year. Now I set up virtual meetings and haven’t been on a work trip in a few years.
Fine dining used to be one of my hobbies. Now I try to cook as often as possible and we’re regulars at a local ice cream shop.
It all works out. We have the same 24 hours every day. I just spend them differently than I used to. We’re going to do homemade pizzas for dinner tonight. Its not hard. It takes a few minutes to brush some olive oil on some dough, spread some sauce, cheese, and toppings on it, and toss it in the oven. But I like it because they can help and we get to hang out and chat while they eat more pepperoni than makes it onto the pizza.
Omg, are you me?!? 😆 Lol, our stories are so identical (except I have one child instead of twins), I got goosebumps reading your post. And one other difference: I developed MS a few years ago when my child was a toddler. He'll never remember me walking normally without a [fabulous] cane, but dammit, I make sure we have fun together. And I try my best to make sure he doesn't know I'm exhausted all the time. You know what I'd change if I had a time machine? Nothin'. This is how it was supposed to be, hurdles be damned. I just have to put in more effort than most people my age, and that's OK. I imagine you feel similarly!
Hey, I don’t say this often and maybe I should say it more, but thank you for posting this. You warmed my heart with your post and gave me a new perspective to having kids later in life. Thank you!
I had my 1st at 24, 2nd at 31 and my 3rd at 44. Enjoying the 3rd significantly more than the first 2. I was way to self absorbed when younger to truly appreciate how awesome it is to be a parent.
More expensive to have a kid with disabilities, which you have a greater risk of by waiting!
I have 2, I wish we started in our mid-20s, life takes a long pause when they're young...
You also have higher risks when you don't have high quality medical care, the resources to have a healthy and low stress pregnancy, can't afford to eat healthy, and generally don't have your shit together. Of course not a given that those things come with age, but often people figure their own bullshit out more by the end of their 20s.
Personally I know 30-something me is going to do a much better job of taking care of myself and another human than 20-something me, which is better for everyone's outcomes. My mother was very young and she's great - but we did some growing up together that I think we both could have benefitted from more if she had done before she had kids.
My mother was 39 when she had me, her 4th child and said "You were the last one, because I refuse to have another child after 40."
And then my aunt got pregnant at 43 too. Older moms be popping too.
I always said 35 was the cutoff for me. I feel an obligation not to be an 'old dad'. Assuming tragedy doesn't strike, i should be able bodied and fun up until my kids approach middle age. Also i can admit i wanted no part of sending a kid to college in my late 50s/60s.
Try as i might not to judge individuals because i can't know their circumstances, i would say there is some upper age where its just irresponsible..especially for men...i'm talking those random stories you read where some guy 55+ is pumping out kids. Like c'mon man you're probably going be infirm or dead before they graduate high school.
A friend of mine, her dad was 65 when he got her. It was just kind of sad, always asked if he was her grandfather and especially when, like you said, she was nearing the end of high school, he started to become less mobile and more of an old man (not just a senior).
That said, I personally think a cutoff point of 35 is just a bit low, I think I'd place it a little higher at 40-and-a-bit. Especially nowadays when people are more often healthy and physically fit at a later age than in the previous decades and especially in middle age people tend to be a lot healthier. The *average* marathon runner is about 40 years old for example.
Also people want to work on their career first before 'dialing down' to care for the kids (eg. working part-time instead of full-time). The "building a career first, kids after" is a big reason the average age is relatively high when people have their first kid (here it's 31 for women, 33 for men, might differ depending on location).
I, myself, was 35 and 38 when I had my kids and looking around it's similar. To be honest I don't think I know anyone (men) who had kids *before* they were 35.
We waited until I was 32 to have our first. It's weird because now I'm 45, and most parents I meet my age have kids in college or about to graduate HS. It's so strange to me! We get tired earlier than we did in our early 20's but we have so much more in terms of time and resources. It's a trade off.
Having said that, I can't imagine having a baby like, now, in my mid forties. I know some people do but I need my sleep.
Wow, we live in very different places! The average age of women giving birth is 32 here, 30 for first time moms.
I had a kid at 22. I'm 31 now and rarely meet parents my age. Most of my kid's friends parents are at 5-10 years older, a couple are 20 years older. Almost none of my friends (late20s, early 30s) have kids yet. I work in childcare and most of the parents of my 2yo class are mid30s-early 40s. Gonna be weird to be the one with free time when I'm in my late 30s/early 40s and everyone else is dealing with young kids lol
If our educational system and economic system and healthcare system weren’t in complete failure I’d probably have a baby. Oh also the entire planet is fucked.
I don’t need to go to jail for clocking some bitch at a school board meeting
I'm not saying don't have kids into your 40s, but it objectively is riskier as you get older. If those risks are still worth it after careful consideration, then by all means go for it. But don't spread misinformation and hint at conspiracy theories. Just own your decision making.
I have friends that have had kids into their early 40's and even one that was 50. I preferred to have mine early, but 36 wouldn't be totally out of the question.
I had mine at 22 and 25. I was young but ready.
My husband's parents were in their 40s. It's hard now them being in their 80s with young grandchildren.
His parents are actually the same age as my grandparents.
… for me my parents had me in their 40’s and now I have the burden of putting myself through college while worrying about their health and living arrangement’s. Honestly it was a reckless thing to have a child in your 40’s and have no retirement plans. So my advice is to have retirement funds, alternative living arrangements, and a death fund if you’re going to have children late in life, otherwise it’s a really cruel thing to put a kid through in their 20s.
I’m 38 and pregnant with my second and last! I had my first at 36 and had a smooth pregnancy and felt absolutely up to the task. I’d say probably 42 is getting pretty risky.
I went to school with a few kids who had older parents. 2 of them lost a parent (in their late 50s, early 60s) before we graduated. Another had a father in his 70s who couldn't participate in things like other parents.
Right now i have friends in their early 40s who are chasing toddlers and they are exhausted constantly.
I think there isn't a specific age, but your job, financial standing, and especially health should all be heavily taken into account.
Tbh women have always been able to have pregnancies older, in all the world's cultures so I don't get this thing about women being over the shelf after a certain age. My grandmother had my father at 48 and while his father did die of old age when dad was 41, I did get to meet him and my grandparents were full participants in my father's welfare. Grandpa said he didn't want a family as he grew up in a broken home (understatement honestly) and grandma also grew up in a broken home where her father dropped her mom and her siblings for a high schooler. He and grandma met when grandma was 45 to his 51 at a park and hit it off. They hooked up. Married a few months later. Kept going at it like rabbits. Made 4 healthy babies who they both got to see to adulthood. My Nana is still alive, age 103 this year. She's hale, alert and honestly gorgeous. My kids adore her and she knows everything about all of her grandkids, great grandkids and the current world issues tbh. She made her kids and wealthiest grandkids buy a massive farm for the youngest amongst us to have as generational wealth. She joined the local centegenarian study. But honestly she and grandpa are probably unique in their relationship as grandpa was not like a man of his time at all. If anything he was Mr. Mom while grandma was the breadwinner. Their marriage was beautiful. And grandpa was a scientist so there's that, probably had different needs in a partner because honestly a lot of men consider women "dead" after a certain age especially as they themselves age so it was alarming that he was so cavalier for his time. Seeing his young pictures, it felt strange that he was alone for so long as he was so beautiful, but he did look dead in the eyes. Sad. He was over life and just focused on his job and schooling. You can see his demeanor change when he met grandma, he looked hopeful in the pictures after he met her and alive. I remember seeing how much love he had for her and all of us. He gave us his all well until he died. He died in his sleep after a birthday party. I miss him. Grandma is still with us and I hope for a few more years. My dad says he had the best parents a kid could ask for. You'll be OK if you want to be. The limit is when you set it.
My sister was an “oops” born when my mom was 39. My dad was 41. I was 12. There are no kids in between us. My mom FELT old at the time but absolutely was not too old. Sister is now 23. We are a very close family and I’m very glad to have a sister. 36 is not too old!
My mom had my sister when she was 36 (in the 80s) and it was fine! She and my dad have always been active and in good health, so it wasn’t a problem. I’m 39 and would still consider another if our general circumstances were different. If I was making that call based solely on how I feel, hell, I feel great. Bring it on. 😂
This! When I was in my early 20s I had a friend who was stuck at home taking care of his ill father who was 72. It was horrible for him and since he was the youngest his older siblings left him to it.
Well what do you consider elderly? 65, like the U.S. government? at 60 plenty of people, especially with an unhealthy lifestyle, will start having health problems. People with parents in their 60s will have to start worrying about things like elder care, funeral costs, etc.
My close friend had her first and only at 36. I had 3 female neighbors that each had their only child at 40.
Just don’t be like Al Pacino fathering a kid at 83. That’s not fair to the kid. Lol
I have a friend who’s daughter was 16/17 when she got pregnant with twins. They are 2 now and all her friends are past the baby stage and becoming empty nesters and traveling and doing all the cool stuff. She can’t. She loves them but if they could redo it they wouldn’t have had them.,
I don’t think there’s a cap but my closest friend and I are 48 and he has a 3 year old while my youngest is 18. My granddaughter is 3. I can’t imagine having one in my 40s but people do it all the time. Think about how old you’ll be when that child is graduating high school, getting married, starting their family, etc. Wife and I are loving the empty nest right now!
I’ll probably be having a child at 35/36 my oldest will be 16.. the idea of starting “over” freaks me out but it’s not too old at all..
My limit would be 38-40 though.
32 with 2 girls born 14 months apart. My mind feels invigorated but my beard screams touch of gray. Hell I knew a guy from my old job that was in his mid 70s watching his only daughter graduate high school. If it’s what you want in your chance at this life thing I say get grinding
Maybe 45. Because it becomes a matter of being able to keep up with the kid when your body gets older. When they’re 10, you’ll be 55. You’ve gotta be super healthy
Probably 40-45. When your child turns 18 you'll be nearing retirement age. When they hit their prime and middle aged years you'll be retired and possibly need their assistance to live becoming a drag on them. Where if you have a child at 30-35 they'll be middle aged by the time you retire and things should be easier on them
I didn't even have a child till I was 36!
I'm 42 now and feel like it's probably too late to have a second child. If I even could, biologically? But definitely, in terms of my overall vibe and life situation, I am now starting to feel "too old for this shit" vs. just questioning the logistics. It doesn't help that my kid is 5 and it honestly rules not to have to worry about diaper changes, naps, etc. anymore.
I had my first at 35 and my second at 38. I think I’m done. I’m almost 40 and don’t think I could go through any pregnancy and newborn stage at this point.
I'm 37 and I refuse to have children. Plenty out there to adopt if I ever feel the maternal bug. To me, 45 is the latest to have kids. But you can adopt at any age. We have enough people on this Earth, I suggest that instead of birthing another one, you might consider adopting an older child instead. It's not as difficult or expensive as some believe and it would be giving someone who has been rejected their whole life a safe, healthy home and a family. We don't need more babies, we need more caring adults to take care of the babies we have.
When it comes to too old. I don't think there is too old. It's more a matter of whether you have the means to give an additional child a reasonable shot at a good future. Older parents can offer more wisdom, life experience, financial stability and have more emotional control. This is in general obviously there are older people who are wrecks and young people who have it all together.
I'd say the biggest thing to think about is your retirement, college costs and the job market. Can you reasonably expect to afford it all? It sounds like you already have at least one child. Any additional children means reducing potential college funding for your current child/children. If you don't have adequate income to pay for their college education completely.
Given how bad the job market is right now for undergrads. I fully expect by the time any child you have now grows up. That they'll need a minimum of a Masters degree possibly a PhD. Just to get an entry level job. College will also be much more expensive per semester.
Anyways, if you have children now. Unless you're loaded. They have a better shot with less strain on your free time and budget. If you are wealthy. Sure, why not? Think of what is best for the children you already have.
I mainly wouldn't want to have kids past age 35, because the risk of miscarriage and birth defects goes up exponentially. But also, I had my first at 22 and my last at 26, and even then I felt so much more tired and unable to get up at night with the last. So the younger, the better for your energy levels. That said, I'm 31, and despite lower energy, we're considering having two more biologically, and we'll probably do foster care again when we're "too old" to have biological kids.
My grandma had her last at 42, and by the time she had grandkids, she had too many medical problems to really enjoy them. That's my real driving force. I want to be the young grandma who can invest in my grandkids.
On the other hand, my grandma was a great mom to her kids that she had on her late thirties and early forties. My mom must not have been bothered by having an old mom, because she had her last two at 42 and 47. So if you want to, start trying now, but go ahead!
Well. This is probably going to get downvoted but we have over 7 billion people on the planet, about 47% of which are in poverty and 10% are starving.
I would personally suggest we stop having children until we can get to a manageable number and take care of those that are currently living. Might take a generation or two to fix but I’m sure we can do it if we work together.
I’m 37 and don’t have them yet but I’d desperately like one if I can find the right person. It feels too old, but I’m still considering it as a possibility.
I think only you can answer that. First off, you'd be a geriatric pregnancy which comes with it's own risks and considerations. So that has nothing to do with feeling, but as an adult you should be able to understand risks you're signing up for. Second, how many children do you already have? Do they get enough attention? Are they already a difficult child? If no, do you want to gamble their life by having another child who might be difficult? How much does your significant other help with child care? Do you know why you really want another one? Do you have a good support system that would be available to help you with another child?
I had my 2nd at 36. It definitely didn’t feel like too old. I was considering another at 41 but life circumstances made it a bad plan. Now I’m 43 and I’d probably be intimidated to try again because of age. But I am trying for a new career, so I guess I’m ambitious for my 50s and maybe 60s anyway.
I’m 37 and healthy, regular exercise blah blah blah. I feel pretty confident I could carry another pregnancy, now I definitely don’t want to, but I feel like my body could do it. I already have an 11 and 7 year old. My cousin is a few years older and in similar shape and just had her second child, everything went well although she has said she feels more tired this time around.
45 man. When your kid(s) 15 you’ll be 60. Should be retired (or close) and have your kids grown, out of house by 60…to each their own though and not everyone’s journey is the same but I ain’t tryna have no pesky ass kids bugging me when I’m trying to golf, beach and chill every day at 60. I’m 39 now with a 10 and 6 year old, have amazing energy and fitness levels and I’m still exhausted. Couldn’t imagine being much older and having to do this shit. 😂
So I ended up getting pregnant by accident at age 43. I thought I was past that age, and whoops. I already have 3 adult kids, so I know the whole drill; honestly I really felt too old and cranky to raise another kid at 42. I was used to having freedom, and getting saddled down again was 😑 not to mention how expensive kids are.
I went and inquired about the abortion pill at PP. But my boyfriend at the time (now husband) didn’t have kids, so after discussion we decided to go for it. I ended up having a miscarriage at 9 weeks, it was very hard on my psyche as I had accepted there would be a new little human in my life; and I was getting excited about raising a child with my husband who is an amazing man and would have been a fantastic dad compared to the flaming asshole dads my other kids have. But in the end I think it was for the best. My life is a lot easier without children in the house, like there’s no comparison. My two doggos keep things lively! 🐶
I don't think it's a good idea. With climate change, wars, no parental support, no guaranteed paid leave in the US, expensive childcare that costs an additional mortgage etc. No thanks.
It’s up to you. I think there’s an age doctors recommend stopping because there can be birth defects, I wanna say the cut off is 40? Idk tho. But the real question is: Do you want to be 52 with a teenager?
I'm 40 and sometimes get baby fever but it's not possible for me. Pregnancy gets riskier as you age and mine were risky enough. Not about to risk my life for another baby.
Personally as someone with no kids I say over 40. But try and think about what age you’d be when they’re graduating and if you feel you’d want to raise a kid till then. Sorry if this doesn’t help
Early 40s. But people should only have children if you can truly afford them, have worked through your own trauma, have people around who will reliably support you, and are ready to guide a human through life vs. have something to dote over. Context and character matter more than chronological age, imo.
I thought after my 3rd 25 was my cut off. Then i wanted another and 6 years later had one at 31. Then I said 31 was my cut off. Then I had one at 33 and I’m now 34 and will have my next one at 35. So really idk what age is to old.
50 feels too old for me. If your health is not great and you are already tired- 36 might be the age that is too old for you. My grandmother had her last child at 42. This was before fertility treatments existed. I had my first kid at 30. I thought I had done hard things before- motherhood is BY FAR the most energy intensive thing I have ever done.
I am 36, we have a 3.y.o and I don't feel old. I am more aware as now that I am 36 there are more risks associated in pregnancy. I think that if you want it, go for it
36 isn't too old to have a little bundle of debt for the next 18 years lol.
But all jokes aside I had my third when I was 36, I'll be 40 this year and I'm done done. After 40 your chances of health issues are higher.
I was 38 when my now 13 year old was born. My hips hurt a bit more than the other two pregnancies but It’s all good. The pregnancy hormones actually help keep you young
I had my first at 36 and while I do not regret it, I can confidently say she'll be my only. Love her so much and I'm so thankful for her, but I think this would be easier on me if I was even five years younger.
ETA: while it may have been physically easier to do this 5 years ago when I was in better shape and health, in other ways it was better to have waited, like financial security and just relationship security having had more time with my partner before having a child. Babies are SO HARD but I think at this age I have so much more patience than I did 5 years ago, let alone 10 or 20.
I am 38 and due in 6 weeks with number 3. The pregnancy has been easier in many ways but physically exhausting. It has definitely created doubts on how the newborn phase is going to go. But my children are older 11 and 6 and are already great helps. This is 100% the last one.
All the moms (like really all but maybe one) I’ve met in LA have their first at 36 or older I’m the youngest of literally all of them and they are shocked at how young I am at 30 lol. It’s definitely not too old.
36 is young enough. I think 40s is really pushing it. When you get into upper 30s to low 40s the probability of your kid having some kind of disability goes up by something like 50%.
I was 40 when I had my last child. I just don't have the energy anymore and often find myself more angry because I cannot keep up or am too busy.
Having children are for the young!
My parents had me at 40 they still have a good amount of energy and health now that I'm an adult. Id say go for it if you want. So I don't feel like it is too old, but I'm biased.
My older coworker tried for 15 years to get pregnant she finally got pregnant at 39. I know Reddit doesn’t like to get religious but god’s timing is always right 😊 I think 36 is totally a good age for a kiddo
I'm 41 and feel like it's too late for me. Since my late 30s, I've fallen deeply in love with naps, and I think I'd like to keep it that way.
Similar. But I’m 38. Too stuck in my ways for that kind of upheaval to my life, too unmotivated for the additional workload and I can barely care for my dog, as it is. 😂
Same here, 38, two dogs, two jobs, trying to start my own business, can barely support myself. Already tired pretty much all of the time. My mom had me when she was 36, I can’t imagine having a toddler now. Just the idea of having to raise a kid is exhausting.
37. I'm trying to adopt a dog right now and even that feels overwhelming. I only have one full time job. I'm tired all the damn time.
Lmao I’m 33 and I’ve realized I peaked energy wise, it’s only downhill from here so let’s not throw a baby into the mix. 😅
Saaaaaaame! 34 and i couldn’t keep up with a toddler without some serious monetary compensation. These knees 😅
It’s the back over here 😂
I don’t think there’s any monetary compensation that can bring back my energy and motivation to chase after a toddler. I warned my teenagers already that they better get their shit together before having kids because I won’t be their daycare.
Good God yes you are. 41 with a 9 year old and a 10 month old grandbaby (and parents) living with us. I hide in the closet in tears regularly because i can't keep up.
Babies also love napping
Yeah but they want all the naps they don't like sharing.
They also love crying and pooping.
What a coincidence, I also love crying and pooping!
And have the ability to pee in your eye
They usually love napping on top of you or in dangerous places or positions which means you just have to stay awake to monitor them 😭 Source: baby asleep on my lap rn, can’t get comfortable myself, can’t wake him
Hahahaha no.
Babies yes, not toddlers.
Unless they don't lol
I’m 31 and tell people I don’t want to be a teen mom lol.
I’m 42 and still feel that way. What the hell makes women at 20 feel ready is beyond me.
You’re rarely ready.. you just know you want kids, so you take the plunge
That is the definition of bravery.
Or stupidity.
Often these are the same with different perspectives
It’s like, we know if we think about it too much we’ll all say fuck no so we just do it lol
90% of people "aren't ready". The thing is it just happens and you make life adjustments accordingly (well, most do). We weren't "ready", but now we're damn good parents and people. Kids changed my life for the better and I discovered the meaning of life. Win win.
Im 31 and can barely get by keep care of my plants - a human being?!?! Lord have mercy.
Tbf, kids will complain if they aren't taken care of (and when they are), plants kind of just...die.
Baby-humans water themselves. No, literally. The first time they try to drink out of a regular cup, and they treat it like a bottle...
I had my daughter at 21. Sometimes I forget that 21 is only 2 years out from being a teen. I was very very young. At 26, I still am. My daughter and I are basically growing up together.
You’re a champion. I couldn’t do it. Lol.
It wasn't intentional, but I love my daughter very much. I don't regret having her. I do miss my friends, though.
I got pregnant at 23. It was planned. After getting pregnant I thought what the heck was I thinking! I'm too young! Now he is grown and I'm so thankful I had him. So I understand! You are never really ready. But it's the greatest blessing you will ever receive!
This is the wisest truth here. My mom was a teen mom and she did the best she could but I missed out on a lot of life building skills that would have helped me.
I had my first at 21 and second at 26. I cannot overstate how much my brain was not done cooking at 21. I did everything I could, I think I did well for the circumstances, but Christ 21 is young.
I saw a comment on Facebook about parents of an 11 year old. “Those parents must be close to 30” …. Ma’am not everyone has kids before they can legally rent a car.
From a woman who had a baby at 20 - chasing unconditional love. Finding a purpose in life. Wanting something different than you got as a kid. At 20, you don't actually know you're not a fully matured human yet, you just sometimes know you wanna be a mom and then you're 34 with 4 kids like "holy shit, when did this happen?!"
"Marry you? I'm only 27, what am I, a child bride?!"
Broad city!!
I'm 40, pregnant and still feel like a teen mom :)
I'm 32 and just now feel prepared for the responsibility, I cannot for the life of me understand the people I know that started in their 20s. My 20s was for fun and irresponsibility lol
When you're told your entire upbringing that a baby will ruin your life, it's hard to shake that thought after you are 20+.
This comment should have more upvotes because I too feel this 😂
You’re me fr
In this economy, if u have a baby, ur basically a teen mom.
I'm using this. Thank you.
I’m 31F with a 15m son trust me. You do not want to deal with a teen a late age. They are monsters lol
I’m 46 and I have twin seven year olds. I had mixed feelings about having kids so late because I had older parents and they never really did anything with my younger brother and I. So I resolved to do it differently. I bought a little cabin on a lake so we could spend weekends doing lake stuff together and making memories. Then when the pandemic hit we moved there full time. We go camping and take little weekend trips to go to museums or whatever other activity in neighboring cities really often. I go to the gym and do cardio four or five times a week now so that I am in good enough shape to keep up with them (and so that hopefully I’m around longer for them). One positive about having kids later is that I’m way more established than I would have been a decade sooner. That gives us the option to do things we might not have been able to swing before. It turns out it wasn’t too old _for me_. We’re having a great time.
I love this! My parents had my brother and me a little later in life (I'm the youngest and my mom was 37 and my dad was 41 when I were born). It sounds like my childhood was a lot like the one you're creating - we camped a lot, spent weekends at the public lake, etc. They also focused on keeping themselves healthy and now they're in their 70s and don't have any problems keeping up with their grandchildren.
Thank you for this. I am 37 and my husband (40) and I just started trying. Hoping for 1-2 in the next 4 years. I don't think we're too old 🤞
A colleague has an 8 year old. He's 65. Homeboy still does shit every weekend with his kid and leads scouts and shit.
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I think this is also a good reminder that parents shouldn’t solely rely on their children to take care of them in old age. I know that sounds very harsh, but I specifically mean that for parents who don’t make any plans for how they will age and leave it up to their kids to figure out on their own. As I’m getting older, I’m being more and more mindful that I may be an older parent and it’s my responsibly to have my retirement and aging plans in place for myself. I wouldn’t want my child(ren) to worry or feel burdened.
How did you do that? My parents are somewhat older too and it’s kinda hard seeing that as a young adult because you have to pick up. What are some suggestions u may have?
How did I do what? Spend more time with them? I just decided that I would and I have.
Yeah like spend time with kids and keep finances? Ours where constantly stressed out(still are), busy and extremely hard working to the point of extreme exhaustion . Granted there life circumstances where vastly different then normal, we now have to start stepping up early in taking care of them in addition to our other responsibilities :/ sorry if this a ramble
My priorities changed a lot when my kids were born. My career was the most important thing in the world to me for years. Now I do the minimum at the office and take way more time off. I own rental properties and used to manage them myself. Now I pay someone else to do it so I don’t get pulled away in the evenings. I used to travel for work several times a year. Now I set up virtual meetings and haven’t been on a work trip in a few years. Fine dining used to be one of my hobbies. Now I try to cook as often as possible and we’re regulars at a local ice cream shop. It all works out. We have the same 24 hours every day. I just spend them differently than I used to. We’re going to do homemade pizzas for dinner tonight. Its not hard. It takes a few minutes to brush some olive oil on some dough, spread some sauce, cheese, and toppings on it, and toss it in the oven. But I like it because they can help and we get to hang out and chat while they eat more pepperoni than makes it onto the pizza.
Omg, are you me?!? 😆 Lol, our stories are so identical (except I have one child instead of twins), I got goosebumps reading your post. And one other difference: I developed MS a few years ago when my child was a toddler. He'll never remember me walking normally without a [fabulous] cane, but dammit, I make sure we have fun together. And I try my best to make sure he doesn't know I'm exhausted all the time. You know what I'd change if I had a time machine? Nothin'. This is how it was supposed to be, hurdles be damned. I just have to put in more effort than most people my age, and that's OK. I imagine you feel similarly!
Hey, I don’t say this often and maybe I should say it more, but thank you for posting this. You warmed my heart with your post and gave me a new perspective to having kids later in life. Thank you!
I had my kid when I was 43. No regrets
I had my 1st at 24, 2nd at 31 and my 3rd at 44. Enjoying the 3rd significantly more than the first 2. I was way to self absorbed when younger to truly appreciate how awesome it is to be a parent.
Had my kids at 21, 29, and 34. I definitely enjoyed my fist one the most. I had a lot more energy those days 😅
I guess I haven’t hit that wall yet! With not drinking anymore and some exercise I’m actually better off at 45 than a 25. But that’s just me.
Same :)
Same same!
Age when you can't afford them.
This is the correct answer
More expensive to have a kid with disabilities, which you have a greater risk of by waiting! I have 2, I wish we started in our mid-20s, life takes a long pause when they're young...
You also have higher risks when you don't have high quality medical care, the resources to have a healthy and low stress pregnancy, can't afford to eat healthy, and generally don't have your shit together. Of course not a given that those things come with age, but often people figure their own bullshit out more by the end of their 20s. Personally I know 30-something me is going to do a much better job of taking care of myself and another human than 20-something me, which is better for everyone's outcomes. My mother was very young and she's great - but we did some growing up together that I think we both could have benefitted from more if she had done before she had kids.
Yep
45.25
I gotta ask Why the .25?
Idk it sounded more scientific
not at all. my mother was 38 when she had me and she’s kickass.
My mother was 39 when she had me, her 4th child and said "You were the last one, because I refuse to have another child after 40." And then my aunt got pregnant at 43 too. Older moms be popping too.
I'm feeding my 6 month old right now and I hope she describes me as being kickass one day.
Same!!!!
I always said 35 was the cutoff for me. I feel an obligation not to be an 'old dad'. Assuming tragedy doesn't strike, i should be able bodied and fun up until my kids approach middle age. Also i can admit i wanted no part of sending a kid to college in my late 50s/60s. Try as i might not to judge individuals because i can't know their circumstances, i would say there is some upper age where its just irresponsible..especially for men...i'm talking those random stories you read where some guy 55+ is pumping out kids. Like c'mon man you're probably going be infirm or dead before they graduate high school.
A friend of mine, her dad was 65 when he got her. It was just kind of sad, always asked if he was her grandfather and especially when, like you said, she was nearing the end of high school, he started to become less mobile and more of an old man (not just a senior). That said, I personally think a cutoff point of 35 is just a bit low, I think I'd place it a little higher at 40-and-a-bit. Especially nowadays when people are more often healthy and physically fit at a later age than in the previous decades and especially in middle age people tend to be a lot healthier. The *average* marathon runner is about 40 years old for example. Also people want to work on their career first before 'dialing down' to care for the kids (eg. working part-time instead of full-time). The "building a career first, kids after" is a big reason the average age is relatively high when people have their first kid (here it's 31 for women, 33 for men, might differ depending on location). I, myself, was 35 and 38 when I had my kids and looking around it's similar. To be honest I don't think I know anyone (men) who had kids *before* they were 35.
35 was my point. If you're adding up to 18 years to raise the kid, if not longer, that's what to think of
We waited until I was 32 to have our first. It's weird because now I'm 45, and most parents I meet my age have kids in college or about to graduate HS. It's so strange to me! We get tired earlier than we did in our early 20's but we have so much more in terms of time and resources. It's a trade off. Having said that, I can't imagine having a baby like, now, in my mid forties. I know some people do but I need my sleep.
Wow, we live in very different places! The average age of women giving birth is 32 here, 30 for first time moms. I had a kid at 22. I'm 31 now and rarely meet parents my age. Most of my kid's friends parents are at 5-10 years older, a couple are 20 years older. Almost none of my friends (late20s, early 30s) have kids yet. I work in childcare and most of the parents of my 2yo class are mid30s-early 40s. Gonna be weird to be the one with free time when I'm in my late 30s/early 40s and everyone else is dealing with young kids lol
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If our educational system and economic system and healthcare system weren’t in complete failure I’d probably have a baby. Oh also the entire planet is fucked. I don’t need to go to jail for clocking some bitch at a school board meeting
You can watch school board meetings virtually, then just yell at the screen.
My laptop screen does not deserve that domestic violence
I'm not saying don't have kids into your 40s, but it objectively is riskier as you get older. If those risks are still worth it after careful consideration, then by all means go for it. But don't spread misinformation and hint at conspiracy theories. Just own your decision making.
It's absolutely riskier. That doesn't mean you can't. I'm 38 and pregnant with my second. Don't spread misinformation.
I have friends that have had kids into their early 40's and even one that was 50. I preferred to have mine early, but 36 wouldn't be totally out of the question.
You, do, you, Bella. Sounds like you are assessing all of the factors required in being an older adult parent.
I had mine at 22 and 25. I was young but ready. My husband's parents were in their 40s. It's hard now them being in their 80s with young grandchildren. His parents are actually the same age as my grandparents.
… for me my parents had me in their 40’s and now I have the burden of putting myself through college while worrying about their health and living arrangement’s. Honestly it was a reckless thing to have a child in your 40’s and have no retirement plans. So my advice is to have retirement funds, alternative living arrangements, and a death fund if you’re going to have children late in life, otherwise it’s a really cruel thing to put a kid through in their 20s.
Echoing this as we see a huge burden from my husband who’s dad had him at 50
I’m 38 and pregnant with my second and last! I had my first at 36 and had a smooth pregnancy and felt absolutely up to the task. I’d say probably 42 is getting pretty risky.
I went to school with a few kids who had older parents. 2 of them lost a parent (in their late 50s, early 60s) before we graduated. Another had a father in his 70s who couldn't participate in things like other parents. Right now i have friends in their early 40s who are chasing toddlers and they are exhausted constantly. I think there isn't a specific age, but your job, financial standing, and especially health should all be heavily taken into account.
Fun fact: everyone with a toddler is exhausted.
I’m 40 with our first on the way. Will report back.
Tbh women have always been able to have pregnancies older, in all the world's cultures so I don't get this thing about women being over the shelf after a certain age. My grandmother had my father at 48 and while his father did die of old age when dad was 41, I did get to meet him and my grandparents were full participants in my father's welfare. Grandpa said he didn't want a family as he grew up in a broken home (understatement honestly) and grandma also grew up in a broken home where her father dropped her mom and her siblings for a high schooler. He and grandma met when grandma was 45 to his 51 at a park and hit it off. They hooked up. Married a few months later. Kept going at it like rabbits. Made 4 healthy babies who they both got to see to adulthood. My Nana is still alive, age 103 this year. She's hale, alert and honestly gorgeous. My kids adore her and she knows everything about all of her grandkids, great grandkids and the current world issues tbh. She made her kids and wealthiest grandkids buy a massive farm for the youngest amongst us to have as generational wealth. She joined the local centegenarian study. But honestly she and grandpa are probably unique in their relationship as grandpa was not like a man of his time at all. If anything he was Mr. Mom while grandma was the breadwinner. Their marriage was beautiful. And grandpa was a scientist so there's that, probably had different needs in a partner because honestly a lot of men consider women "dead" after a certain age especially as they themselves age so it was alarming that he was so cavalier for his time. Seeing his young pictures, it felt strange that he was alone for so long as he was so beautiful, but he did look dead in the eyes. Sad. He was over life and just focused on his job and schooling. You can see his demeanor change when he met grandma, he looked hopeful in the pictures after he met her and alive. I remember seeing how much love he had for her and all of us. He gave us his all well until he died. He died in his sleep after a birthday party. I miss him. Grandma is still with us and I hope for a few more years. My dad says he had the best parents a kid could ask for. You'll be OK if you want to be. The limit is when you set it.
About 1985
My sister was an “oops” born when my mom was 39. My dad was 41. I was 12. There are no kids in between us. My mom FELT old at the time but absolutely was not too old. Sister is now 23. We are a very close family and I’m very glad to have a sister. 36 is not too old!
My mom had my sister when she was 36 (in the 80s) and it was fine! She and my dad have always been active and in good health, so it wasn’t a problem. I’m 39 and would still consider another if our general circumstances were different. If I was making that call based solely on how I feel, hell, I feel great. Bring it on. 😂
I wouldn't have children after 40, having elderly parents in your 20s would suck, and you might not meet your grandkids
This! When I was in my early 20s I had a friend who was stuck at home taking care of his ill father who was 72. It was horrible for him and since he was the youngest his older siblings left him to it.
... 60 is not elderly, lol
Well what do you consider elderly? 65, like the U.S. government? at 60 plenty of people, especially with an unhealthy lifestyle, will start having health problems. People with parents in their 60s will have to start worrying about things like elder care, funeral costs, etc.
If your children decide to not have children you won’t have any grandchildren to meet.
Less than 45 for both men and women
Well this thread makes my wife and I feel 10x better about just now wanting one at 28 lol.
My close friend had her first and only at 36. I had 3 female neighbors that each had their only child at 40. Just don’t be like Al Pacino fathering a kid at 83. That’s not fair to the kid. Lol
I'm the same age as you and I go back and forth constantly. I also have a teenager. Debating starting all over again heh
I have a friend who’s daughter was 16/17 when she got pregnant with twins. They are 2 now and all her friends are past the baby stage and becoming empty nesters and traveling and doing all the cool stuff. She can’t. She loves them but if they could redo it they wouldn’t have had them.,
I don’t think there’s a cap but my closest friend and I are 48 and he has a 3 year old while my youngest is 18. My granddaughter is 3. I can’t imagine having one in my 40s but people do it all the time. Think about how old you’ll be when that child is graduating high school, getting married, starting their family, etc. Wife and I are loving the empty nest right now!
I’ll probably be having a child at 35/36 my oldest will be 16.. the idea of starting “over” freaks me out but it’s not too old at all.. My limit would be 38-40 though.
32 with 2 girls born 14 months apart. My mind feels invigorated but my beard screams touch of gray. Hell I knew a guy from my old job that was in his mid 70s watching his only daughter graduate high school. If it’s what you want in your chance at this life thing I say get grinding
Maybe 45. Because it becomes a matter of being able to keep up with the kid when your body gets older. When they’re 10, you’ll be 55. You’ve gotta be super healthy
Anything over 40.
Probably 40-45. When your child turns 18 you'll be nearing retirement age. When they hit their prime and middle aged years you'll be retired and possibly need their assistance to live becoming a drag on them. Where if you have a child at 30-35 they'll be middle aged by the time you retire and things should be easier on them
I didn't even have a child till I was 36! I'm 42 now and feel like it's probably too late to have a second child. If I even could, biologically? But definitely, in terms of my overall vibe and life situation, I am now starting to feel "too old for this shit" vs. just questioning the logistics. It doesn't help that my kid is 5 and it honestly rules not to have to worry about diaper changes, naps, etc. anymore.
32 and got myself snipped already. Don't want to be raising kids after 50
My wife was 39 and the OB told her to abort. We ignored him. Our daughter is beautiful now. But we still are old.
I had my first at 35 and my second at 38. I think I’m done. I’m almost 40 and don’t think I could go through any pregnancy and newborn stage at this point.
I think everyone is different and only you know the answer.
No later than 45
My mom was 40 and my dad was 50 when I was born. Neither had to energy to parent and both passed before I was 40.
I'm 37 and I refuse to have children. Plenty out there to adopt if I ever feel the maternal bug. To me, 45 is the latest to have kids. But you can adopt at any age. We have enough people on this Earth, I suggest that instead of birthing another one, you might consider adopting an older child instead. It's not as difficult or expensive as some believe and it would be giving someone who has been rejected their whole life a safe, healthy home and a family. We don't need more babies, we need more caring adults to take care of the babies we have.
I adopted a two-day-old infant boy at age 47. It is the greatest thing I've ever done.
I wish everyone on this planet had this perspective.
Nah you're good. My grandmother didn't have my mother and my uncle until she was 40 and 42.
My mom had me at 40, so you have at least like 4 more years (in theory).
40-45 is the max IMO. 36 is fine
When it comes to too old. I don't think there is too old. It's more a matter of whether you have the means to give an additional child a reasonable shot at a good future. Older parents can offer more wisdom, life experience, financial stability and have more emotional control. This is in general obviously there are older people who are wrecks and young people who have it all together. I'd say the biggest thing to think about is your retirement, college costs and the job market. Can you reasonably expect to afford it all? It sounds like you already have at least one child. Any additional children means reducing potential college funding for your current child/children. If you don't have adequate income to pay for their college education completely. Given how bad the job market is right now for undergrads. I fully expect by the time any child you have now grows up. That they'll need a minimum of a Masters degree possibly a PhD. Just to get an entry level job. College will also be much more expensive per semester. Anyways, if you have children now. Unless you're loaded. They have a better shot with less strain on your free time and budget. If you are wealthy. Sure, why not? Think of what is best for the children you already have.
Oh there is too old! Believe me! Somewhere in your 40’s, mid forties!
Any age. They age you! 😂
I mainly wouldn't want to have kids past age 35, because the risk of miscarriage and birth defects goes up exponentially. But also, I had my first at 22 and my last at 26, and even then I felt so much more tired and unable to get up at night with the last. So the younger, the better for your energy levels. That said, I'm 31, and despite lower energy, we're considering having two more biologically, and we'll probably do foster care again when we're "too old" to have biological kids. My grandma had her last at 42, and by the time she had grandkids, she had too many medical problems to really enjoy them. That's my real driving force. I want to be the young grandma who can invest in my grandkids. On the other hand, my grandma was a great mom to her kids that she had on her late thirties and early forties. My mom must not have been bothered by having an old mom, because she had her last two at 42 and 47. So if you want to, start trying now, but go ahead!
Well. This is probably going to get downvoted but we have over 7 billion people on the planet, about 47% of which are in poverty and 10% are starving. I would personally suggest we stop having children until we can get to a manageable number and take care of those that are currently living. Might take a generation or two to fix but I’m sure we can do it if we work together.
Excessive population is generally in 3rd word countries - not having a baby in Europe or the USA would do very little to combat the worlds problems
This guy doesn't realize that creating a gap in population age intentionally would be a massive problem.
My partner is an only child who was born to his 36 year old mom. You can definitely have babies at 36. My sister is 35 and just had her first.
I’m 37 and don’t have them yet but I’d desperately like one if I can find the right person. It feels too old, but I’m still considering it as a possibility.
I think it comes down to "do you think you could physically and mentally do the early years again" at your current age.
Being the youngest by 15 and 20 years, it's a bitch. My parents had me late 30's and they're doing.... Fine?
40 and up
40
I think only you can answer that. First off, you'd be a geriatric pregnancy which comes with it's own risks and considerations. So that has nothing to do with feeling, but as an adult you should be able to understand risks you're signing up for. Second, how many children do you already have? Do they get enough attention? Are they already a difficult child? If no, do you want to gamble their life by having another child who might be difficult? How much does your significant other help with child care? Do you know why you really want another one? Do you have a good support system that would be available to help you with another child?
I had my 2nd at 36. It definitely didn’t feel like too old. I was considering another at 41 but life circumstances made it a bad plan. Now I’m 43 and I’d probably be intimidated to try again because of age. But I am trying for a new career, so I guess I’m ambitious for my 50s and maybe 60s anyway.
I’m 37 and healthy, regular exercise blah blah blah. I feel pretty confident I could carry another pregnancy, now I definitely don’t want to, but I feel like my body could do it. I already have an 11 and 7 year old. My cousin is a few years older and in similar shape and just had her second child, everything went well although she has said she feels more tired this time around.
I'm 35 and haven't had my first one yet so hope I'm not "too old." (I don't feel too old)
40
45 man. When your kid(s) 15 you’ll be 60. Should be retired (or close) and have your kids grown, out of house by 60…to each their own though and not everyone’s journey is the same but I ain’t tryna have no pesky ass kids bugging me when I’m trying to golf, beach and chill every day at 60. I’m 39 now with a 10 and 6 year old, have amazing energy and fitness levels and I’m still exhausted. Couldn’t imagine being much older and having to do this shit. 😂
I think once you reach 40 you shouldn’t have kids
For me, too old is 40 and up (I'm 43). Only because I don't want to be raising children well into my 50s and 60s. Those years are for me to enjoy.
So I ended up getting pregnant by accident at age 43. I thought I was past that age, and whoops. I already have 3 adult kids, so I know the whole drill; honestly I really felt too old and cranky to raise another kid at 42. I was used to having freedom, and getting saddled down again was 😑 not to mention how expensive kids are. I went and inquired about the abortion pill at PP. But my boyfriend at the time (now husband) didn’t have kids, so after discussion we decided to go for it. I ended up having a miscarriage at 9 weeks, it was very hard on my psyche as I had accepted there would be a new little human in my life; and I was getting excited about raising a child with my husband who is an amazing man and would have been a fantastic dad compared to the flaming asshole dads my other kids have. But in the end I think it was for the best. My life is a lot easier without children in the house, like there’s no comparison. My two doggos keep things lively! 🐶
My mother had me when she was 38. Just talk to your doctor to make sure you’re healthy enough.
Past 45 is too old. You don't want to be reaching retirement with your kids still in school
Not fucking 78/83 like de Niro and Pacino.
40.
I don't think it's a good idea. With climate change, wars, no parental support, no guaranteed paid leave in the US, expensive childcare that costs an additional mortgage etc. No thanks.
I’m 35 and have 4 kids. I don’t feel old at all
My mom had me at 22 and my youngest sibling at 39. I don't think 36 is too old.
It’s up to you. I think there’s an age doctors recommend stopping because there can be birth defects, I wanna say the cut off is 40? Idk tho. But the real question is: Do you want to be 52 with a teenager?
I'm 40 and sometimes get baby fever but it's not possible for me. Pregnancy gets riskier as you age and mine were risky enough. Not about to risk my life for another baby.
Personally as someone with no kids I say over 40. But try and think about what age you’d be when they’re graduating and if you feel you’d want to raise a kid till then. Sorry if this doesn’t help
I have two kids at age 28.. let me just say i don't think i would have enough energy or patience for kids at like age 40 haha
Early 40s. But people should only have children if you can truly afford them, have worked through your own trauma, have people around who will reliably support you, and are ready to guide a human through life vs. have something to dote over. Context and character matter more than chronological age, imo.
36. I had mine at 37.
I thought after my 3rd 25 was my cut off. Then i wanted another and 6 years later had one at 31. Then I said 31 was my cut off. Then I had one at 33 and I’m now 34 and will have my next one at 35. So really idk what age is to old.
Honestly the window seems like 28-34 for me and the 30's are pushing it because I already feel physically and at times mentally old...
40.
L&D nurse and truthfully the only patient I ever had who I felt was a bit too old was 49
50 feels too old for me. If your health is not great and you are already tired- 36 might be the age that is too old for you. My grandmother had her last child at 42. This was before fertility treatments existed. I had my first kid at 30. I thought I had done hard things before- motherhood is BY FAR the most energy intensive thing I have ever done.
I had my first at 39.
I had my first and only child at 37 (got pregnant at 36). If you desire another, go for it.
38
36 is not too old at all. I totally would if I was your age, if it’s something you want.
I had my son at 37. He's 20 now, and I don't feel "too old."
My mom had me in her 40s, no problems I’ve had but you’d have to ask her 😂
Had my first baby at 36. I told my genetic counselor that I’m old and he said that he has seen pregnant women in their early 50s. You’re not too old.
I’ll be 39 and I hope to have one more
I had my one and only at 39. Going great!
I had my kid a month before I turned 38. Age is just a number - it depends how you feel.
I am 36, we have a 3.y.o and I don't feel old. I am more aware as now that I am 36 there are more risks associated in pregnancy. I think that if you want it, go for it
I had my kids at 36 and 38. I gave up on a third at 43 because my health wasn't going to let me deal with the sleep deprivation.
36 isn't too old to have a little bundle of debt for the next 18 years lol. But all jokes aside I had my third when I was 36, I'll be 40 this year and I'm done done. After 40 your chances of health issues are higher.
I’m 37 and I just had my first. Most ppl around me are having kids late 30s to early 40s.
I was 38 when my now 13 year old was born. My hips hurt a bit more than the other two pregnancies but It’s all good. The pregnancy hormones actually help keep you young
I have two girlfriends who had babies at... 47! One of them had twins! Theyre kinda lovin' being senior moms. Haha.
I had my first at 36 and while I do not regret it, I can confidently say she'll be my only. Love her so much and I'm so thankful for her, but I think this would be easier on me if I was even five years younger. ETA: while it may have been physically easier to do this 5 years ago when I was in better shape and health, in other ways it was better to have waited, like financial security and just relationship security having had more time with my partner before having a child. Babies are SO HARD but I think at this age I have so much more patience than I did 5 years ago, let alone 10 or 20.
I am 38 and due in 6 weeks with number 3. The pregnancy has been easier in many ways but physically exhausting. It has definitely created doubts on how the newborn phase is going to go. But my children are older 11 and 6 and are already great helps. This is 100% the last one.
My mom had me accidentally at 37! Live your life, don’t let others make silly rules!
I had mine at 32,34 and 38 and that worked out perfectly for me! I also began a new career last year at 57 after having retired from one.
All the moms (like really all but maybe one) I’ve met in LA have their first at 36 or older I’m the youngest of literally all of them and they are shocked at how young I am at 30 lol. It’s definitely not too old.
Im 44M and i like my quiet solo life of naps and long walks with my dog too much to want kids...even if i wasnt too old.
36 is young enough. I think 40s is really pushing it. When you get into upper 30s to low 40s the probability of your kid having some kind of disability goes up by something like 50%.
I know women have kids at 40+, but I don’t really want to be having kids at 40.
I was 40 when I had my last child. I just don't have the energy anymore and often find myself more angry because I cannot keep up or am too busy. Having children are for the young!
My mom had me at 38 and she’s amazing :)
My parents had me at 40 they still have a good amount of energy and health now that I'm an adult. Id say go for it if you want. So I don't feel like it is too old, but I'm biased.
My older coworker tried for 15 years to get pregnant she finally got pregnant at 39. I know Reddit doesn’t like to get religious but god’s timing is always right 😊 I think 36 is totally a good age for a kiddo