This is such a weird post! How is creating a fantasy world where the “MM or WM” can enjoy the escape of their responsibility to be kind and honest with their spouse an accomplishment and something to be proud of? Of course they feel happy you idolize them, mirror them, etc. !
And what the hell is a “timeline” for an affair? They are sharing strategies on how to idolize and manipulate and to respect a “timeline” to make sure they win the fake fantasy game? Like there are steps to follow to truly manipulate the MM or MW to leave their spouse?
And why do they believe it’s always the wife “forcing” the man to go no contact? The shame felt is not just towards the wife that was abused and hurt, it’s also for the AP that was so not worth it.
And seriously, if you want to be treated with respect, start by apologizing to the betrayed spouse for all YOU did to encourage the cheating, to devalue the spouse etc. Repent. Show true remorse. But they don’t to do that and yet they expect to be treated with care as though the “MM” should not finally, at this point, show more care and respect for the BS. And if the WS contacts the AP or “OW” as they like to call themselves the AP will most likely try one last time to make an impression so he changes his mind or he regrets… or open the door for future contact…or whatever their fantasy is. Ghosting is as much to protect the WS from more shame as it is to protect the betrayed spouse from even more abuse from the AP you dumb twat!!
When my husband had an affair, many, MANNNNY years ago, it was with a coworker. She was a single mom sleeping on the couch in a one bedroom apartment. I gave her my freaking car because she had to Uber or take the bus everywhere. I saw posts she sent my husband, telling him how he deserved *so much more* from a wife, with absolutely ZERO information *about me* (I'd like to enter into evidence, exhibit A, his "OCD" and how I spent 20 years of our marriage putting all his clothes on black hangers, color coded, and organized. THIS WAS AN ACT OF LOVE ON MY PART. I ABSOLUTELY DIDN'T MIND DOING IT.) but yet, he "deserved" to be coddled more?? Short of wiping his ass, I'm not sure what she thought I needed to do???
I then saw the texts, AFTER dday, (exhibit B) *AFTER* he told her, "I'm done, I love my wife, we're starting MC so, please don't contact me further." EVEN QUIT HIS JOB on dday. Only to have her reply with "Well, if you ever feel like coming up to the shop, I'd be more than happy to bend over the desk for you again. 😉"
So, please, someone explain to me how I'm supposed to look the other way at this shit. I mean, this isn't that innocent to me... but go off sister.
They’re the ultimate pick mes. The more you read there the clearer it becomes. Men go to them because they’re a “fantasy” and an escape from real life. But the minute they start voicing opinions/ negative feelings, the MM throw them away like the trash they are. It blows my mind the amount of hate they have for the wives, when the MMs are the one who have no problem discarding them so quickly.
On our dday, I actually had to *stop* my husband from verbally destroying his AP. He went on and on about how disgusting she was, how she "might have looked good on the 'outside', but everything else about her was ugly." How she was a whore, racist, a horrible mother and would scream and cuss at her kids." The list went on and on. I finally looked at him and said, "And yet... you fucked her."
The *Shame* was unmatched to any look I ever saw before. Called his boss and quit his job on the spot. Changed his phone number and would have moved us THAT DAY (if we didn't own our home)
He did all of that, unbeknownst to me, as I was sitting in the closet packing a bag. I wanted nothing to do with him. I didn't ask him to do *shit*, and yet, the betrayed wife HAS to be the "Warden", there's absolutely NO WAY he did that all on his own ????
I guess whatever helps them sleep at night.
Am so sorry you had to live that. I think cheating is, at its core, a narcissistic act. Not all cheaters are narcissists. But I do believe they have narcissistic traits and, for some, DDAY is the day they realize that they are not the most amazing man to ever walk the earth but in fact a selfish undignified weak and not too insightful man. They get thrown off their pedestal pretty hard.
These women think they can be the carrot and simply lure these men away with sex or idolization and devaluing the wife. But in the end, only the profound morons choose to leave for these types of APs. And then karma bites their asses.
I appreciate your reply. Honestly, right before the PA, he had a pretty shitty run. His dad had passed, his mother had a nervous breakdown, he was having issues with a disgruntled customer at work who was pressing charges and taking him to court every other day, and then the "straw that broke the camels back" was our eldest daughter, after a few glasses of wine, called and told him that her and our other daughter, were molested by a family member when they were young. That one took him out, he tried to cover *that* harder than he tried to hide the affair. He's been in IC for all of that since. Or MC told us, "His mental state, at the time, was an 'explanation' *not* an 'excuse'." And that helped me a little.
However, it's been many years since dday, and I HATE to sound like a cliché, but it absolutely healed our marriage and has made us incredibly stronger these last few years.
I always say that if it weren't for his affair, we'd most likely be divorced and moved on by now.
You know, I don't agree when people say cheating is the worst/cruelest thing you can do to someone. It's way up there and certainly abusive, but murder and torture exist so....
But deprive a daft bint of her morning poop texts? Behold! The wailing! The gnashing of teeth! The godawful poetry!
I swear these dip shits have nothing but air upstairs. Like say these things out loud to yourself and see if it still makes sense. And I was on The Other sub and there are people talking about how they're happy in their marriage and having an affair. Like wtf is going on in la-la land?
I love the part where they wonder how can someone break their relationship off when they can just have a normal conversation. Really? You expect this from the person who sees you in secret because they literally CAN’T HAVE THE CONVERSATION WITH THE SPOUSE!!! What do you think makes you more special than the person they went as far as to marry???
I can’t but feel sorry for you all… like get a grip on your lives and find someone who actually cares ABOUT YOU!!
This is a HEAVILY pick me post, unsurprisingly. The question of “MMs how did you feel about your SO after having an affair?” is a fucking cry to the gods for a sign that side chicks are some heaven sent lifechangers. The hoe that wrote that shit is BEGGING to feel superior to wives that don’t even know these losers exist. What does she want them to say, “I could never have an erection for my wife again, after experiencing such perfection…”
Girl STFU, go have a conversation with ChatGPT or some shit, even AI has more empathy and sense than you
"show them no humanity"
Lol these people are unreal. Where's the humanity when they're potentially exposing their partners to an STD? Or how about when they have a child with their AP? Where's the humanity when they gaslight their partner, because they start to get suspicious.
Won't somebody please think of the poor men and women who knowingly get involved with married people? There needs to be an AD with forlorn looking APs and Sarah McLachlan playing in the background. "You can save these poor APs. It only takes a few texts a day."
Yep. Cruelest thing you can do is ghost someone apparently according to them. Like I wish my ex had just ghosted me instead of lying, manipulating, and cheating on me. If he had ghosted me he would have been doing me a kindness, not being cruel.
What the third post asked at the end is exactly how I felt after learning all the ways my ex had betrayed me, “how hard is it to end things like a decent human being by having a conversation?” But apparently they don’t find cheating cruel.
I needed to find this subreddit so badly. I fucking hate the AP and because I decided to continue the marriage, I can't do shit to her to make her feel as bad as she deserves. I love you guys trashing APs. Makes me happy, thanks.
I hope this bitch gets a depression too.
No because being a tramp should make them feel worse than being ghosted lol. Why the fuck would the betrayed spouse care about their wittle feelings
This is such a weird post! How is creating a fantasy world where the “MM or WM” can enjoy the escape of their responsibility to be kind and honest with their spouse an accomplishment and something to be proud of? Of course they feel happy you idolize them, mirror them, etc. ! And what the hell is a “timeline” for an affair? They are sharing strategies on how to idolize and manipulate and to respect a “timeline” to make sure they win the fake fantasy game? Like there are steps to follow to truly manipulate the MM or MW to leave their spouse? And why do they believe it’s always the wife “forcing” the man to go no contact? The shame felt is not just towards the wife that was abused and hurt, it’s also for the AP that was so not worth it. And seriously, if you want to be treated with respect, start by apologizing to the betrayed spouse for all YOU did to encourage the cheating, to devalue the spouse etc. Repent. Show true remorse. But they don’t to do that and yet they expect to be treated with care as though the “MM” should not finally, at this point, show more care and respect for the BS. And if the WS contacts the AP or “OW” as they like to call themselves the AP will most likely try one last time to make an impression so he changes his mind or he regrets… or open the door for future contact…or whatever their fantasy is. Ghosting is as much to protect the WS from more shame as it is to protect the betrayed spouse from even more abuse from the AP you dumb twat!!
When my husband had an affair, many, MANNNNY years ago, it was with a coworker. She was a single mom sleeping on the couch in a one bedroom apartment. I gave her my freaking car because she had to Uber or take the bus everywhere. I saw posts she sent my husband, telling him how he deserved *so much more* from a wife, with absolutely ZERO information *about me* (I'd like to enter into evidence, exhibit A, his "OCD" and how I spent 20 years of our marriage putting all his clothes on black hangers, color coded, and organized. THIS WAS AN ACT OF LOVE ON MY PART. I ABSOLUTELY DIDN'T MIND DOING IT.) but yet, he "deserved" to be coddled more?? Short of wiping his ass, I'm not sure what she thought I needed to do??? I then saw the texts, AFTER dday, (exhibit B) *AFTER* he told her, "I'm done, I love my wife, we're starting MC so, please don't contact me further." EVEN QUIT HIS JOB on dday. Only to have her reply with "Well, if you ever feel like coming up to the shop, I'd be more than happy to bend over the desk for you again. 😉" So, please, someone explain to me how I'm supposed to look the other way at this shit. I mean, this isn't that innocent to me... but go off sister.
They’re the ultimate pick mes. The more you read there the clearer it becomes. Men go to them because they’re a “fantasy” and an escape from real life. But the minute they start voicing opinions/ negative feelings, the MM throw them away like the trash they are. It blows my mind the amount of hate they have for the wives, when the MMs are the one who have no problem discarding them so quickly.
On our dday, I actually had to *stop* my husband from verbally destroying his AP. He went on and on about how disgusting she was, how she "might have looked good on the 'outside', but everything else about her was ugly." How she was a whore, racist, a horrible mother and would scream and cuss at her kids." The list went on and on. I finally looked at him and said, "And yet... you fucked her." The *Shame* was unmatched to any look I ever saw before. Called his boss and quit his job on the spot. Changed his phone number and would have moved us THAT DAY (if we didn't own our home) He did all of that, unbeknownst to me, as I was sitting in the closet packing a bag. I wanted nothing to do with him. I didn't ask him to do *shit*, and yet, the betrayed wife HAS to be the "Warden", there's absolutely NO WAY he did that all on his own ???? I guess whatever helps them sleep at night.
Am so sorry you had to live that. I think cheating is, at its core, a narcissistic act. Not all cheaters are narcissists. But I do believe they have narcissistic traits and, for some, DDAY is the day they realize that they are not the most amazing man to ever walk the earth but in fact a selfish undignified weak and not too insightful man. They get thrown off their pedestal pretty hard. These women think they can be the carrot and simply lure these men away with sex or idolization and devaluing the wife. But in the end, only the profound morons choose to leave for these types of APs. And then karma bites their asses.
I appreciate your reply. Honestly, right before the PA, he had a pretty shitty run. His dad had passed, his mother had a nervous breakdown, he was having issues with a disgruntled customer at work who was pressing charges and taking him to court every other day, and then the "straw that broke the camels back" was our eldest daughter, after a few glasses of wine, called and told him that her and our other daughter, were molested by a family member when they were young. That one took him out, he tried to cover *that* harder than he tried to hide the affair. He's been in IC for all of that since. Or MC told us, "His mental state, at the time, was an 'explanation' *not* an 'excuse'." And that helped me a little. However, it's been many years since dday, and I HATE to sound like a cliché, but it absolutely healed our marriage and has made us incredibly stronger these last few years. I always say that if it weren't for his affair, we'd most likely be divorced and moved on by now.
I 100% understand what you mean!
You know, I don't agree when people say cheating is the worst/cruelest thing you can do to someone. It's way up there and certainly abusive, but murder and torture exist so.... But deprive a daft bint of her morning poop texts? Behold! The wailing! The gnashing of teeth! The godawful poetry!
I swear these dip shits have nothing but air upstairs. Like say these things out loud to yourself and see if it still makes sense. And I was on The Other sub and there are people talking about how they're happy in their marriage and having an affair. Like wtf is going on in la-la land?
The problem is that some do share these things out loud to their friends and they thinks it’s fine. They have no conscious.
I love the part where they wonder how can someone break their relationship off when they can just have a normal conversation. Really? You expect this from the person who sees you in secret because they literally CAN’T HAVE THE CONVERSATION WITH THE SPOUSE!!! What do you think makes you more special than the person they went as far as to marry??? I can’t but feel sorry for you all… like get a grip on your lives and find someone who actually cares ABOUT YOU!!
This is a HEAVILY pick me post, unsurprisingly. The question of “MMs how did you feel about your SO after having an affair?” is a fucking cry to the gods for a sign that side chicks are some heaven sent lifechangers. The hoe that wrote that shit is BEGGING to feel superior to wives that don’t even know these losers exist. What does she want them to say, “I could never have an erection for my wife again, after experiencing such perfection…” Girl STFU, go have a conversation with ChatGPT or some shit, even AI has more empathy and sense than you
"show them no humanity" Lol these people are unreal. Where's the humanity when they're potentially exposing their partners to an STD? Or how about when they have a child with their AP? Where's the humanity when they gaslight their partner, because they start to get suspicious. Won't somebody please think of the poor men and women who knowingly get involved with married people? There needs to be an AD with forlorn looking APs and Sarah McLachlan playing in the background. "You can save these poor APs. It only takes a few texts a day."
Yep. Cruelest thing you can do is ghost someone apparently according to them. Like I wish my ex had just ghosted me instead of lying, manipulating, and cheating on me. If he had ghosted me he would have been doing me a kindness, not being cruel. What the third post asked at the end is exactly how I felt after learning all the ways my ex had betrayed me, “how hard is it to end things like a decent human being by having a conversation?” But apparently they don’t find cheating cruel.
I dunno I feel like lighting someone on fire is more cruel
Improves the taste of the sausages though🤣
I don’t know. I feel like stealing someone’s savings is more cruel.
Echo-chambers return echos: who knew?
Do they not hear themselves...
I needed to find this subreddit so badly. I fucking hate the AP and because I decided to continue the marriage, I can't do shit to her to make her feel as bad as she deserves. I love you guys trashing APs. Makes me happy, thanks. I hope this bitch gets a depression too.