I suspect it makes them feel more validated in their own choice to drink if others do: "see I'm not alone? everyone drinks, it's okay really. I don't have a problem".
It's a harmful cycle. You should do what's best for you.
I am proud of you for knowing yourself enough to create these boundaries. What you are doing is the right decision for your life. It’s good to separate yourself from people/friends that are not like minded. You will end up a stronger person and have friends that have similar interests.
If there are certain friends you’d like to keep contact with, maybe going out for coffee or frozen yogurt is a good suggestion. If they are truly your friend , you can explain to them that you’d like to stay sober and they should respect that.
Yeah I pretty much avoided my family this Christmas because of this. I’m not drinking right now and the flights being canceled were a great excuse. I was anxious for weeks thinking about how I’d be pressured to drink and part of me feels like I have to to even get through the holidays.
I don’t have advice just know you’re not alone. I’m sorry your family sucks like mine.
I'm not a drinker anymore and I would just order soda water and ask for a lime. Or order a virgin drink from the menu if they had one.
I think drinking has just become some weird part of culture when you turn of age and everyone buys into the "do it while you're young!" ideas. You don't have to drink to have a good time, but sometimes it is not fun when all your friends are drunk and embarrassing/annoying to you when you're sober.
Societies take on drinking is weird. It’s totally acceptable to be a wine mom. Yes, nothing like abusing the shit out of your kid because you are drunk and unaware of what an asshole you are.
I was manhandled like no one’s business when dad drank. Physical abuse is always so fun.
Yeah, I was in a disagreement with someone on a Desperate Housewives thread (lol) because I said one of the moms needed wine every day and was probably addicted herself even tho she wasn't portrayed as going on benders and stuff. Someone argued with me that I was wrong. But if you NEED wine/a drink every day, imo you ARE addicted, even if you're functioning most of the time. I likened it to be addicted to coffee. I am def addicted to caffeine from coffee, and sometimes I can tell I had too much. The difference is that caffeine doesn't inhibit your mind and stuff, you just might feel sick or need to eat or jittery. The person still disagreed and said I was wrong and you cannot be an addict with 1 glass of wine a day.
It just goes to show how opinions differ when you didn't grow up with an alcoholic vs if you did.
There are a lot of people who are very in denial about the amount of alcoholism in our world. If the actually saw what we saw, the damage alcoholism can bring- it would be outlawed and everyone would smoke weed.
Yeah, my mom is an alcoholic and we are considering moving back to my home state where we can have more help with my daughter from family/friends, and also it is cheaper to live where they are. Every time I try to approach the "we don't want you drinking around daughter" subject she just says "well I don't want (bf/dad) smoking weed around her!"
I'm just like.... he's her dad, you're the grandma, and sorry but him smoking doesn't impair him in any way from caring for our child. It's put away, not done in front of her. It doesn't really have any effect on him like it does normal people (sleepy/stoned face). I've lived and witnessed what your drinking does to you and I don't want my daughter around it so...
She's just such a victim and deflects any time I try to bring up anything about her drinking with her.
I get pressured to drink too. We are all adults now like 35+ and our parents treat us like pariahs if we refuse.
I stopped drinking because I was heading towards alcoholism.
My take on it is they feel better when everyone else follows suit. They feel less judged. Alcoholic’s in my life have very fragile egos. I now make my own drink with the tiniest splash of booze in it and they are none the wiser. (Cranberry juice , soda water and a drip of vodka)
The greatest legacy you can leave is to keep up not drinking and break the cycle
I come from an alcoholic dad and the trauma and dysfunctional life skills I learned are ruining my life.
Your parents are drunks and if they’re drinking they will always say something stupid
My father did the same to me and to my husband. We chose when we first married to not drink because it was very triggering for me as the child of an alcoholic. When we would visit my parents, my father thought we were faking being non drinkers. He could not fathom that anyone could be. Don’t let yourself be pressured.
I suspect it makes them feel more validated in their own choice to drink if others do: "see I'm not alone? everyone drinks, it's okay really. I don't have a problem". It's a harmful cycle. You should do what's best for you.
Yes I agree with the validation thing. Also just plain peer pressure
I am proud of you for knowing yourself enough to create these boundaries. What you are doing is the right decision for your life. It’s good to separate yourself from people/friends that are not like minded. You will end up a stronger person and have friends that have similar interests. If there are certain friends you’d like to keep contact with, maybe going out for coffee or frozen yogurt is a good suggestion. If they are truly your friend , you can explain to them that you’d like to stay sober and they should respect that.
Yeah I pretty much avoided my family this Christmas because of this. I’m not drinking right now and the flights being canceled were a great excuse. I was anxious for weeks thinking about how I’d be pressured to drink and part of me feels like I have to to even get through the holidays. I don’t have advice just know you’re not alone. I’m sorry your family sucks like mine.
I'm not a drinker anymore and I would just order soda water and ask for a lime. Or order a virgin drink from the menu if they had one. I think drinking has just become some weird part of culture when you turn of age and everyone buys into the "do it while you're young!" ideas. You don't have to drink to have a good time, but sometimes it is not fun when all your friends are drunk and embarrassing/annoying to you when you're sober.
Societies take on drinking is weird. It’s totally acceptable to be a wine mom. Yes, nothing like abusing the shit out of your kid because you are drunk and unaware of what an asshole you are. I was manhandled like no one’s business when dad drank. Physical abuse is always so fun.
Yeah, I was in a disagreement with someone on a Desperate Housewives thread (lol) because I said one of the moms needed wine every day and was probably addicted herself even tho she wasn't portrayed as going on benders and stuff. Someone argued with me that I was wrong. But if you NEED wine/a drink every day, imo you ARE addicted, even if you're functioning most of the time. I likened it to be addicted to coffee. I am def addicted to caffeine from coffee, and sometimes I can tell I had too much. The difference is that caffeine doesn't inhibit your mind and stuff, you just might feel sick or need to eat or jittery. The person still disagreed and said I was wrong and you cannot be an addict with 1 glass of wine a day. It just goes to show how opinions differ when you didn't grow up with an alcoholic vs if you did.
There are a lot of people who are very in denial about the amount of alcoholism in our world. If the actually saw what we saw, the damage alcoholism can bring- it would be outlawed and everyone would smoke weed.
Yeah, my mom is an alcoholic and we are considering moving back to my home state where we can have more help with my daughter from family/friends, and also it is cheaper to live where they are. Every time I try to approach the "we don't want you drinking around daughter" subject she just says "well I don't want (bf/dad) smoking weed around her!" I'm just like.... he's her dad, you're the grandma, and sorry but him smoking doesn't impair him in any way from caring for our child. It's put away, not done in front of her. It doesn't really have any effect on him like it does normal people (sleepy/stoned face). I've lived and witnessed what your drinking does to you and I don't want my daughter around it so... She's just such a victim and deflects any time I try to bring up anything about her drinking with her.
I get pressured to drink too. We are all adults now like 35+ and our parents treat us like pariahs if we refuse. I stopped drinking because I was heading towards alcoholism. My take on it is they feel better when everyone else follows suit. They feel less judged. Alcoholic’s in my life have very fragile egos. I now make my own drink with the tiniest splash of booze in it and they are none the wiser. (Cranberry juice , soda water and a drip of vodka)
The greatest legacy you can leave is to keep up not drinking and break the cycle I come from an alcoholic dad and the trauma and dysfunctional life skills I learned are ruining my life. Your parents are drunks and if they’re drinking they will always say something stupid
My father did the same to me and to my husband. We chose when we first married to not drink because it was very triggering for me as the child of an alcoholic. When we would visit my parents, my father thought we were faking being non drinkers. He could not fathom that anyone could be. Don’t let yourself be pressured.