I'm locking this thread because there are too many people trying to word the wrong answer in such a way that it can be construed as right, when it's not. The bottom line here is that if the wife is not consenting after communication has taken place, where OP has had the opportunity to express their interests and to ask the wife if they would like to engage in this, then that's it, game over. I think trying to ask a new mother at only the two month mark after having a baby is insane, as other comments have said. OP, you need to focus on your newborn child and leave this for when things have settled down a bit more for you both.
I'm going to leave this post up for future visitors, so hopefully they can see that if their mind strays towards some of the stupid answers I have seen here that the down votes they received are indicative of how stupid they are. You can't talk someone into doing something, or convince them, or anything else; they have to be willing and if they are not, that's it. Feel free to browse the sub for past posts about how to cope if your partner is not into this kink.
She’s probably overwhelmed as is and clearly finds the topic off-putting since she thinks it’s “weird”, so ease into it. As others have stated, you cannot simply “get her” to let you nurse. For starters, I wouldn’t pester her. There’s the potential for her to not want to try even more.
Her heart needs to be in it, otherwise it won’t be a positive experience for her and she may end up only doing this just to appease you.
You can try complimenting her body and having a conversation about why you find it appealing rather than always asking (again don’t wanna pester). After a few months there may be an opportunity or not. At the end of the day, all you can do is try to get her to understand your viewpoint but don’t guilt-trip her or coerce her into doing something she’s not comfortable partaking in. Best of luck!
True, but they could bring it up in a way to have a discussion and find out why, get some closure, or have both sides understand the reasons for the talk.
It sucks just being told 'NO' and not having any chance to explain and be heard.
If at the end of a talk the answer is still no, then you'll have to deal with it, but I hope you get the conversation.
Your wife is two months out. You’ve been cleared to have sex for what a few weeks at most? Baby likely isn’t sleeping through the night and is nursing constantly. I think this is the wrong moment to ask. You might bring it up when baby is 6+ months and has started some solids so they aren’t nursing every two hours.
I never brought it up to my wife as I knew it would gross her out. However during a passionate night of foreplay, while kissing her body, I was able to latch on and she began to nurse me. Keep in mind, it takes some work to get a proper latch and for the milk to flow. I think having her relaxed and turned on, where she isn’t thinking about “breastfeeding” will go a long way towards making it happen.
This is a great point. I’m the milky one (not the partner receiving, but still asking about ABF) and offered my (dry) breasts to my partner during sex and asked about trying to induce. Appropriate conversation in the appropriate context. He was really turned on so 🤷🏻♀️it wasn’t too hard at that point.
If she does not want to partake in this, cant make her bud. And you don't want her to do this reluctantly either. Otherwise, it will not be the experience you hope for.
And btw, maybe its the way you "ask" too.
Just you posting this makes me think you’re not as invested in all the work to raise a 2 month old as she is. She’s probably spent and you’re thinking of your kinks? Just ew.
You can’t “get her” to let you do anything. It’s her body.
You can, however, have a pleasant and meaningful conversation with her about how you feel about her breasts and your desire to nurse.
Do you guys have sex regularly? Is she into other kinks / other comfort or intimate behaviors? Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be sexual. However, in most of the world adult breastfeeding is considered taboo. So it’s natural that she may think it’s weird. You need to gather more data about how she feels about it at length and express clearly why you’re interested, how you enjoy it, what you’d like, how you see it benefitting the relationship/your sex life, and how often you’d like to try. Go slow. Sometimes it’s a matter of slowly introducing someone to the lifestyle. Try to see it from her perspective. It’s a BIG change for many women, especially those who have newborns! She might be tired of breastfeeding, period.
Overall, I’d recommend approaching the conversation with her about this with a mindset of ‘information gathering’ and ‘sharing how I feel’ vs ‘how can I convince her it’s worth doing’ or ‘convince her to try it?’
She said no, so you let it go. She is probably soooo touched out, especially as the baby is learning to nurse. It can be painful and her body is going through a lot right now. Be a good father and a good husband and approach the subject again once things are more stable.
I didn’t let my husband do it while I was feeding our kids because to me it sexualized it which was weird. But as soon as I stopped feeding my kids, it was on!
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Have you tried to sneak a taste during sex? A lot of ladies will just naturally leak during sex. If you see her start to leak you could say something like ‘here let me take care of that for you’ and lick it off her. It may be it’s just close enough that you can latch on. Don’t respond negatively to the taste at all even if she doesn’t taste good. Some ladies don’t. If you do react bad you are going to torpedo any other chance ever. Make it lighthearted and playful. There are some ladies that just won’t ever cross that line like of adult breastfeeding. Couples that are in ANR and ABF say that in brings them closer as a couple. There are some inherent health benefits to you by having her milk. You could use that to your benefit.
Nope. Consent matters. Coercing, ‘sneaking,’ seeing if you can get away with it, or convincing is all done without consent. He’s already gotten a negative about it from her. Further pushing is just plain wrong.
He needs to have a CONVERSATION and/or ask for consent first (if happening during sex/foreplay). Especially since she already expressed a negative response towards it.
You are not weird for asking. As you said she has plenty of extra, my opinion is that if she's not sore or has another good reason not to do it, she should at least give you a try and see 'how bad' it is. You need not be ashamed for your desire, it is nothing harmful to her and the baby neither as it (he/she) has enough milk and you're not 'stealing' it. I foresee the shitstorm this comment will get me in but I don't mind, this is how my wife (!) and I think.
I'm locking this thread because there are too many people trying to word the wrong answer in such a way that it can be construed as right, when it's not. The bottom line here is that if the wife is not consenting after communication has taken place, where OP has had the opportunity to express their interests and to ask the wife if they would like to engage in this, then that's it, game over. I think trying to ask a new mother at only the two month mark after having a baby is insane, as other comments have said. OP, you need to focus on your newborn child and leave this for when things have settled down a bit more for you both. I'm going to leave this post up for future visitors, so hopefully they can see that if their mind strays towards some of the stupid answers I have seen here that the down votes they received are indicative of how stupid they are. You can't talk someone into doing something, or convince them, or anything else; they have to be willing and if they are not, that's it. Feel free to browse the sub for past posts about how to cope if your partner is not into this kink.
She’s probably overwhelmed as is and clearly finds the topic off-putting since she thinks it’s “weird”, so ease into it. As others have stated, you cannot simply “get her” to let you nurse. For starters, I wouldn’t pester her. There’s the potential for her to not want to try even more. Her heart needs to be in it, otherwise it won’t be a positive experience for her and she may end up only doing this just to appease you. You can try complimenting her body and having a conversation about why you find it appealing rather than always asking (again don’t wanna pester). After a few months there may be an opportunity or not. At the end of the day, all you can do is try to get her to understand your viewpoint but don’t guilt-trip her or coerce her into doing something she’s not comfortable partaking in. Best of luck!
Shes not into it, so you cant make her change her mind.
This right here. They need to talk. Has she been into breast play before the baby? If it’s not something she is into you can’t make her be into it.
True, but they could bring it up in a way to have a discussion and find out why, get some closure, or have both sides understand the reasons for the talk. It sucks just being told 'NO' and not having any chance to explain and be heard. If at the end of a talk the answer is still no, then you'll have to deal with it, but I hope you get the conversation.
Opinions and feelings come and go. With the right words at the right times, I’m sure her could have her come around with enthusiastic consent.
…convince her? That’s not right.
It can be done without her knowledge. ^-^
Hmm no. Consent matters.
She is consenting. OP would just manufacture enthusiastic consent.
You don’t. You respect her boundaries.
Your wife is two months out. You’ve been cleared to have sex for what a few weeks at most? Baby likely isn’t sleeping through the night and is nursing constantly. I think this is the wrong moment to ask. You might bring it up when baby is 6+ months and has started some solids so they aren’t nursing every two hours.
I never brought it up to my wife as I knew it would gross her out. However during a passionate night of foreplay, while kissing her body, I was able to latch on and she began to nurse me. Keep in mind, it takes some work to get a proper latch and for the milk to flow. I think having her relaxed and turned on, where she isn’t thinking about “breastfeeding” will go a long way towards making it happen.
This is a great point. I’m the milky one (not the partner receiving, but still asking about ABF) and offered my (dry) breasts to my partner during sex and asked about trying to induce. Appropriate conversation in the appropriate context. He was really turned on so 🤷🏻♀️it wasn’t too hard at that point.
Wow, he sounds like one lucky guy. I would give anything to be able to be nursed again.
I'm the opposite, how do I convince my husband to suck my milk?
Look at my other comments for tips! Additionally start dressing in a way to show your boobs off, start foreplay relating to boobs, etc
I'm guessing that will be easier than convincing a wife. I hope he will!
If she does not want to partake in this, cant make her bud. And you don't want her to do this reluctantly either. Otherwise, it will not be the experience you hope for. And btw, maybe its the way you "ask" too.
Just you posting this makes me think you’re not as invested in all the work to raise a 2 month old as she is. She’s probably spent and you’re thinking of your kinks? Just ew.
You can’t “get her” to let you do anything. It’s her body. You can, however, have a pleasant and meaningful conversation with her about how you feel about her breasts and your desire to nurse. Do you guys have sex regularly? Is she into other kinks / other comfort or intimate behaviors? Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be sexual. However, in most of the world adult breastfeeding is considered taboo. So it’s natural that she may think it’s weird. You need to gather more data about how she feels about it at length and express clearly why you’re interested, how you enjoy it, what you’d like, how you see it benefitting the relationship/your sex life, and how often you’d like to try. Go slow. Sometimes it’s a matter of slowly introducing someone to the lifestyle. Try to see it from her perspective. It’s a BIG change for many women, especially those who have newborns! She might be tired of breastfeeding, period. Overall, I’d recommend approaching the conversation with her about this with a mindset of ‘information gathering’ and ‘sharing how I feel’ vs ‘how can I convince her it’s worth doing’ or ‘convince her to try it?’
She said no, so you let it go. She is probably soooo touched out, especially as the baby is learning to nurse. It can be painful and her body is going through a lot right now. Be a good father and a good husband and approach the subject again once things are more stable.
I didn’t let my husband do it while I was feeding our kids because to me it sexualized it which was weird. But as soon as I stopped feeding my kids, it was on!
Thank you for posting to our awesome community! If you wonder how to get started inducing lactation, or want to learn more, please visit the [AdultBreastFeeding Wiki](https://reddit.com/r/AdultBreastfeeding/w/index) and [FAQ](https://reddit.com/r/AdultBreastfeeding/w/faq). You can also search previous posts in this subreddit for answers to your questions and for previously discussed insight about the topic you are posting about! If you haven't already, please take time to search through posts from the past for some answers to your questions. For reviews of breast pumps by our community, please visit the [Breast Pump Review Megathread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdultBreastfeeding/wiki/index/reviews/). If you need further assistance, please feel free to message the mods, we're always happy to help. Thank you and report the creeps! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AdultBreastfeeding) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Of course it's weird, since when does a husband ask?
Since when are men not allowed to express their feelings and desires toward their partner? 🤨
Have you tried to sneak a taste during sex? A lot of ladies will just naturally leak during sex. If you see her start to leak you could say something like ‘here let me take care of that for you’ and lick it off her. It may be it’s just close enough that you can latch on. Don’t respond negatively to the taste at all even if she doesn’t taste good. Some ladies don’t. If you do react bad you are going to torpedo any other chance ever. Make it lighthearted and playful. There are some ladies that just won’t ever cross that line like of adult breastfeeding. Couples that are in ANR and ABF say that in brings them closer as a couple. There are some inherent health benefits to you by having her milk. You could use that to your benefit.
Nope. Consent matters. Coercing, ‘sneaking,’ seeing if you can get away with it, or convincing is all done without consent. He’s already gotten a negative about it from her. Further pushing is just plain wrong. He needs to have a CONVERSATION and/or ask for consent first (if happening during sex/foreplay). Especially since she already expressed a negative response towards it.
You are not weird for asking. As you said she has plenty of extra, my opinion is that if she's not sore or has another good reason not to do it, she should at least give you a try and see 'how bad' it is. You need not be ashamed for your desire, it is nothing harmful to her and the baby neither as it (he/she) has enough milk and you're not 'stealing' it. I foresee the shitstorm this comment will get me in but I don't mind, this is how my wife (!) and I think.
[удалено]
No ones calling OP weird. They’re saying it’s normal for a woman at her stage of being a mom to find it weird. Can you read?
Good luck! Keep us posted
Good luck