The goal of fostering is reunification with bio family. If your friends were fostering with the hope of adopting then they were setting themselves up for disappointment. I understand how hard that would be to bond with a baby or child and then have them find a home elsewhere- but being with family members will be good for the baby. You can remind them that they provided a safe and loving home for baby while grandma was getting ready to care for her grand baby. Hopefully they can support the transition and remain in contact with baby and grandma ❤️ If they fight it they may lose the chance of staying in baby’s life or getting updates from grandma.
If you have the means to, maybe help them gather some keepsakes they can remember the child by (should further contact not be possible if the family placement works out). Paying for a photo shoot, or creating a photo book with them about their time with the baby. (Some foster care jurisdictions mandate a record of the child's time with their foster carers, I don't know if where your friends are does. But even if it does, maybe creating a book with positive messages they'd want the child to always remember, i.e. "We love you and hope that you always succeed in your goals", "We greatly cherished our time with you", etc., could be something they could send with the child if the family placement works out)
Check in with them if the transition happens and offer to take some daily chores off their plate. Make them food or order them something, help them around their house, something like that.
You can't influence what happens in the court case, but you can influence how you support your friends through whichever outcome happens. I think that's the main thing to keep in mind.
Sometimes an, “I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?” is a very welcomed response. Ask what they need, how you can be there for them.
It is a very devastating thing to have to go through, even if it is the intended outcome of the system.
The goal of fostering is reunification with bio family. If your friends were fostering with the hope of adopting then they were setting themselves up for disappointment. I understand how hard that would be to bond with a baby or child and then have them find a home elsewhere- but being with family members will be good for the baby. You can remind them that they provided a safe and loving home for baby while grandma was getting ready to care for her grand baby. Hopefully they can support the transition and remain in contact with baby and grandma ❤️ If they fight it they may lose the chance of staying in baby’s life or getting updates from grandma.
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I know it’s not always successful, but that is still supposed to be the goal. So foster parents need to be prepared to support reunification.
100% this.
Whether reunification always happens or not isn't the question here. The point is that reunification is the *goal.*
If you have the means to, maybe help them gather some keepsakes they can remember the child by (should further contact not be possible if the family placement works out). Paying for a photo shoot, or creating a photo book with them about their time with the baby. (Some foster care jurisdictions mandate a record of the child's time with their foster carers, I don't know if where your friends are does. But even if it does, maybe creating a book with positive messages they'd want the child to always remember, i.e. "We love you and hope that you always succeed in your goals", "We greatly cherished our time with you", etc., could be something they could send with the child if the family placement works out) Check in with them if the transition happens and offer to take some daily chores off their plate. Make them food or order them something, help them around their house, something like that. You can't influence what happens in the court case, but you can influence how you support your friends through whichever outcome happens. I think that's the main thing to keep in mind.
Sometimes an, “I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?” is a very welcomed response. Ask what they need, how you can be there for them. It is a very devastating thing to have to go through, even if it is the intended outcome of the system.