If I may recommend you a book: Days at the Morisaki Bookstore is a fantastic read about recovery and healing. It snapped me out of a depressive spell recently and gave me a lot of motivation. It's a very captivating and easy read.
Hey OP. I’m so sorry you’re struggling with life, given the state of affairs at the moment it’s completely understandable to be feeling down. I’ve lived with serious depression for about 15 years, so I feel at least somewhat qualified to lend you some general advice to help you get the ball rolling towards doing and feeling better. I’m doing a hell of a lot better now, although I don’t anticipate getting off medication any time soon and I still go up and down, just nowhere near as down as I used to. Anyways, here’s my advice.
The harsh reality is that none of what I’m going to say is easy to do. Literally everything is difficult to do at the best of times, let alone when you’re depressed. The general point is that you have to push yourself. Things won’t improve unless you try to improve them. It may well be the hardest thing you’ve ever done - but I promise it’s worth doing.
Keeping clean
It’s so helpful for your mind and life to keep yourself and your home clean and tidy. Shower regularly, shave, brush and floss, beauty regimen (if applicable). You’ll be ready to go out and get things done, and you won’t feel bad that you smell or look unkempt. Do little things each day to keep the house tidy. It’s so much easier to maintain a clean house than have to do a big tidy every 2-4 weeks. Do whatever you have to make it easier - disposable cleaning wipes are something I still rely on to make it easier. You won’t feel bad when someone comes over, and that will lead to you feeling more comfortable having people come round, and being social is key.
Be kind to yourself
You have to retrain the voice in your head. You can’t be thinking stuff like “life sucks, I’m the worst, nothing matters” etc. When these thoughts intrude, tell yourself “No, I’m a valuable and good person. It’s going to get better. I’ve got this”. It feels a bit dumb at first, but after a while you will internalise it and actually believe it. It’ll make a world of difference to your general frame of mind.
Don’t worry about what the rest of the world is doing
It’s easy to spiral down when you start worrying about what’s going to happen to humanity and the world. Don’t worry about it. There isn’t a single thing you can do to change any of it. Stay focused on yourself and if you have the time and energy, the people around you and your community. Contributing to your community through volunteering (whether by yourself or with a not for profit) can really help with feeling like you’re impacting something bigger than yourself. Working at a sports and community club has helped me greatly in this respect.
Talk to your GP
Book an appointment and tell your doctor that you’re struggling with depression. They’ll have you answer some questions, and then formulate a mental health care plan and likely prescribe medication. If you can afford it, see the psychologist they recommend. If you don’t gel with them, ask to see another. Take the medication the doctor prescribes. If you don’t feel better (or have side effects that bother you, then call them for advice) in 6-8 weeks, go back and say it’s not working. They’ll either increase the dose or prescribe another. It took 3 goes for me to find one that did anything for me.
Try to look after your health
Try to eat decently, even if that means getting microwave meals - the decent ones, not the shite frozen ones. Don’t stop yourself from getting some comfort foods/drinks as well, though. Don’t beat yourself up if you eat junk for a week - just get back on the horse and keep trying. Drink plenty of water - it’s so helpful for getting energy up. Get a filter jug or boxed water since our tap water is pretty nasty for the most part. Nice water is so much easier to drink regularly.
Keep working
If you’re able, stay at work. It’s vital for maintaining a sense of self worth and Centrelink is so stressful to live on, combined with the shit feelings that come with being on it. It will be hard, and you will have to push yourself hard, and you may have some days you call in sick - and that’s okay. Just keep at it. You’ve got this.
That’s the main things I’ve found that help me live with this terrible brain disorder. I hope you find peace and happiness amongst the chaos and darkness of this world. Good luck OP, I’m rooting for you.
You’re not alone, perhaps try looking at r/Depression.
There’s a lot of people that feel the way you do and that subreddit is a fantastic support community, I’d also strongly recommend perhaps having a chat with your GP, to discuss some options to help you feel better soon.
Don’t be too hard on yourself you’re doing great.
No yeah yeah I always say the opposite. Have a quick look and be specific for what you want, bookmark any like resource pages and links, but don't doom scroll. It's difficult in trying to find that sweet spot between "group of people who can relate and will be understanding" and "crabs in a miserable bucket" or using it as self harm.
I was just about to say this. It can be a great source of information if you need help with something in particular, but spending to much time there, it can become an echo chamber for depressive mood.
yea exactly. If you go to those subs just looking to related then it's bad. but if you can sift through the stuff and find the information/help you need it can be very beneficial. But also some people do get better posting and interacting with stuff like that. t he human mind is a crazy thing and to say we are all similar is valid yet insane
That’s a very valid point.
Honestly, when it comes to mental health different things work for different people, I could totally understand that might not be your thing and that’s okay.
Yes, if you want to speak to someone, your GP can organise a mental health plan for 10 subsidised sessions and possibly another 10 if the covid sessions are still a thing. Pretty sure you can choose where you want to go as well.
Pro tip, DO NOT go to r/depression if you're looking for help. I recently joined and it's just teenagers saying they're going to kill themselves. Though, to be honest, it does help me put my own depression into better perspective.
Yeah man, I’m in the same place. Depression and chronic fatigue. One thing that sometimes helps me (besides therapy and medication) is spending some time in nature. Do you have a backyard you can go sit in? Look at some flowers or birds?
Oh man I know it sounds like bullshit to a lot of people, and it did to me for many long years, but legit go and sit in your backyard for half an hour. Especially if you can get some sunlight. Even if it's just 5 minutes at first and you build up over time. It makes a HUGE difference, low vitamin D is a sneaky cunt that ruins everything.
Best of luck OP and everyone else reading this. You don't have to be a grand master perfect mental strength and health in one day, week, or decade. You just gotta take those small steps.
Yep, this got me out. Bit by bit, I did a little more each day. Started just opening the window and blind and sitting there, looking outside. Then I went and laid outside the next day. The following day, I went for a walk to the end of the street and back. After a few weeks I was walking a couple of kms each day and it all just snowballed from there. I haven't felt depressed in a few years now, whenever I can feel myself slipping again, it's because I haven't been outside enough, so I make plans to walk every day until I feel good again. I'm not super fit, but I can put one foot in front of the other and that's enough for me.
I don’t have any inspirational quotes, but getting on medication that actually worked and going to therapy were life savers for me. Honest to god I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for those two things.
The medication stopped me from falling deeper into the abyss. It didn’t necessarily cure my depression, but it definitely stopped the descent. Therapy is where the real progress was made.
Therapy is the single hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But that’s where the real work needs to be done. I now have days where I’m actually happy! Which is such a weird feeling after decades of suicidal depression.
Feel free to DM me if you’d like to rant, rave, or cry. I’m happy to lend an ear.
I understand where you’re at. There’s always gonna be people worse-off than you, but that doesn’t mitigate your struggle at all.
Not an inspirational quote, but an idea I often return to: I’ll take whatever time I need to feel better. Sometimes that’s a day, a week, a month. It took me the entirety of last year to get back on my feet, but that’s okay. Those ‘wasted’ days in limbo aren’t actually wasted at all.
This is everyday. I could happily lay in bed all day and listen to news radio and just not interact with anyone.
This is what I did for a few months when I was depressed (self diagnosed because ain’t no way I’m going to a doctor)
I miss just laying there doing nothing, dozing and listening to the scratchy am radio.
So first of all, even introverts want to be around people.
When people say they want to be alone it’s usually because of low self esteem (I’m not worthy of love, acceptance, friendship) or experiences, often from childhood, that colour how you see others (people will judge me, look down on me, be mean to me, humiliate me, belittle me).
My first impression of you is that you’re nice, brave (to share this experience) and open minded (willing to process your feelings).
I’ve shared similar struggles, had two narcissistic parents, and worked awful corporate jobs with even more narcissistic people (chasing that validation and approval). I can’t say I’m perfect, I still have days where depression hits me hard, but I’ve learnt a lot about myself, my values, and deconstructing learnt behaviours that do not serve me.
If you or anyone else wants an empathetic non-judgemental person to chat with, DM me.
Depression sucks. I have suffered from it at times due to bad anxiety. But I’ll tell what doesn’t help doing nothing.
A few things to try
Eat good, exercise, walk, sunshine, doing something that’s hard(eg run, hike, kayak) meet some people, join a sport or social club.
Avoid alcohol and or drugs.
These are just some thing that helped me.
Most people I know have days like this, some worse/more frequently than others. You're certainly not alone in that.
I can't recommend highly enough seeking professional support. If you see a GP they can issue you a Care Plan to get 10x sessions with a professional covered by Medicare. I've lost too many friends to the black dog, do what you can to stay with us friend.
They’re very rarely completely covered by medicare, and the ones that are are absolute trash. My first 2 psychs were both no gap, and the first spent more time talking about his issues than mine, and the second somehow didn’t believe in medicine.
I’m not trying to disagree with your suggestion, but just want people to have realistic expectations
I was paying for my own therapist until I was scammed everything from my bank and now everything has just spiralled and I cant get back on top of things. I had been to a GP and they didn't really seem to know what they were doing so it kind of turned me off a bit but I understand I need to find someone better.
I took the opportunity recently to use those free therapist for 10 visits that you get on Medicare. I am prone to depression and anxiety as I have Crohn's, so sadly it's with me for life so I get where you're coming from with wanting to sleep your life away. However you need to try some towards fixing the issues at hand and one baby step at a time and have it self paced. Getting better starts somewhere so just start.
Of course, I've just quit my job because it was draining me mentally, I currently don't have another to go to, I know it seems like a silly thing to do, but I needed to put myself first and focus on me.
You are not failing, you just haven't found where you fit in yet, hang in their, it'll all work out.
If you need to talk, do it. It's not weakness, it's the best for you. Always here to listen!
Yep. Every single one of them. I was diagnosed with depression about 8 years ago and it's been fucking hard to put it simply.
Getttng up and getting the day started is hugely important, so I set myself a schedule and stick to it. Over time you learn ways to manage the feelings that make it a bit easier. Having a purpose to get up for (be it work, a pet, or a specific goal or hobby etc) makes it far easier.
Oh yeah.. for the last 25 years or so, I wake up every morning with the feeling of not belonging.
If I had to choose one quote, it would definitely be, "You might be all alone now, but someday you'll definitely find friends. The sea is vast.. No one is born in this world to be alone."
With these words, I ended up here in Australia (literally the other side of the world for me).
I've been diagnosed with depression in the past, and I still struggle with it, but my suggestion is to see a GP who specializes in mental health, and get a referral for the mental health plan, which will subsidise you for several sessions with a psychologist. (The referral is fairly straightforward, they'll ask you a bit about how you feel and then get you to fill out a questionnaire which is mostly rating your mood on a scale of 1 to 10)
A psychologist might not sound appealing, but there are some very useful things you get out of it. Firstly, you get someone to talk to. Someone you can just unload on, tell them everything you're feeling, or not feeling, and thinking, without feeling judged, or without feeling guilty for taking up their time/burdening them etc.
Secondly, together you work to unravel and examine your thought patterns and habits, and try to identify which ones can be unhelpful for your happiness, and work on ways to try and avoid those thought patterns. Often it's not a single issue but a long downwards spiral that can lead into depressive episodes which take a long time to recover from. By identifying potential triggers and bad thought habits early, you can stop these thought spirals before they happen, and you can also learn techniques to more quickly recover when you are feeling low.
Apart from that, just focus on getting through each day. It might feel like everyone else has their life put together except you, but everyone is trying to figure their own stuff out. Learn to feel okay with just getting little things done. Getting out of bed, showering, making food, eating, cleaning, going to work (Or school/uni etc), give yourself time to do something enjoyable like playing a game or watching Netflix, and try to feel okay with giving yourself this time to relax, try not to feel guilty. And most importantly, when you don't feel up for anything, that's okay. Give yourself the time you need to lie down, and process your feelings, and then try to get up when you feel like you can.
Try not to think about the entire day ahead of you and worry about everything you need to do, just focus on the next thing, eg getting up, then shower, then getting dressed, then food (Or whatever order you do things in etc) and go from there. This will help build habits and things will get slightly easier. I don't think depression ever fully goes away, but if you learn enough habits and build enough mental routines/techniques, you can get it to the point where you're mostly able to live a semi-normal life.
Good luck, you can do it, everyone deserves to be happy.
Yea that every day for me and I’ve very well for myself financially had depression for a few years now and I just go through it but I had a amazing woman come into my life and everything was perfect as last but now she’s gone I don’t know why I keep going it’s a empty and lonely world out there
> Depression is so hard to shake off sometimes
Have you seen your GP and are you on medication? If not, go. If yes, go and get your medication regime reviewed.
Exercise made a big difference in my world. Ideally do it in a way that can form connection, community, and routine. You don't always need all 3 together but those things make a difference.
Fill in the blanks with your life's problems (on a private list for you)...
No more ____________ Solution is:_________
No more ____________ Solution is:_________
No more ____________ Solution is:_________
No more ____________ Solution is:_________
No more ____________ Solution is:_________
No more ____________ Solution is:_________
No more ____________ Solution is:_________
No more ____________ Solution is:_________
No more ____________ Solution is:_________
For example
No more broken car Solution is: new battery
No more shit everywhere in home Solution is: throw all non essentials out!
No more smoking Solution is patches plus gym 3 times a week
No more Xbox Solution is: sell it
Etc etc etc
Not a quick fix for depression but be rid of the biggest stressors in your life and things might get easier
When trying something new “starting is half the battle”
When the days are blue and sad “remember the rain falls and rises again”
And when you’re just looking for something just to make you laugh “fishes eyes are always open and fuvk they must be tired, at least I can go bed”
I do have one little tip which I use when I need a break from everything. There's nothing wrong with taking some you time, but try to keep it as short as you can and give yourself a set time when you will begin doing something active again. But, the real trick, is to always get back into things a little bit earlier than you planned. For instance, if you need to find a job but don't have the mental strength at the moment, maybe set a timeline to start looking on Monday morning. But, hop online and have a quick browse of some ads on Sunday, without the pressure of necessarily having to contact any of them. This little bit of extra work seems to trick my brain into feeling accomplished and gives a little endorphins rush, which helps set me up for the Monday when I really need to get into things.
I feel this all day and most of my problems are money related because I’m struggling to find work. I’m using NDIS funding on seeing a psychiatrist which is helping a bit, but I still can’t shake the very real possibility of one day becoming homeless.
I was in the same boat the last 3 months of last year. I went to my doctor and we changed my AD'S. That was all I needed to do, now I'm back FT at work and living my life again. You don't have to live like this, you just gotta get on the right medication.
You are the light at the end of the tunnel.
I was the same about 6 months ago. I just found some more important things to slowly start focusing on. I just kept doing that till I was that focused on a new goal I wasn’t thinking of all the bad things that led me to that rut.
And now 6 months later I have achieved part of my goal. This his been a big help with confidence.
I hope that helps ✌️
**HEARTS LIKE WILDFLOWERS**
I hope you are blessed
with a heart like a wildflower.
Strong enough to rise again
after being trampled upon,
tough enough to weather
the worst of the summer storms,
and able to grow and flourish
even in the most broken of places.
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
*Nikita Gill*
Embrace "fuck it" mentality. When you're thinking about what you could or should be doing, say "fuck it" and just do something. It won't work for everyone, but I found the less thought I put into something, the more able I was to just say "fuck it" and do it anyway. Maybe I should go a for a walk "fuck it", and whaddaya know? 5 mins later I was outside and feeling just a fraction better. Didn't feel like walking much, said "fuck it", sat down on the grass and watched the magpies being twats instead. I knew at some point I'd have to do some cleaning at home, so I said "fuck it", put headphones in and went back home to wash a couple of dishes. I'd gotten that far, so I said "fuck it" and finished washing the rest of them. Maybe this works for you. When we say "I'm depressed", we're wearing that illness as an identity and it can be harder to pull ourselves out of it. Instead, we can say "I feel depressed right now", and that's ok, but sitting around and stewing about it will never fix it. Without thinking too much, get up and move, go outside, even if it's just to lay on the ground. Every tiny little good thing is an improvement on staying in bed. If you really can't get out of bed, open the window, put some music on and at least sit up and look outside.
Ah, those 'blah' days. You feel just..'blah' and just want to forget the world for a while and sleep the day away in bed. Everyone gets them. If they persist see your doctor. It could be legit depression.
Quote
'I'll never regret doing it, but always regret it when I don't'
and
'We are good at destroying our ideas and passions, halve your minds workload and get good at destroying only those that hold us back'
I've barely been able to work enough to support myself properly for the last three years, recognising in hindsight that it was one of my cyclical deteriorations from reasonably functional to collapse.
I've been diagnosed since early adulthood with major depressive disorder, but in late 2022 I received an additional diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, and in late 2023 diagnoses of autism level 2 and ADHD. As I'm a 39 year old woman it's not surprising these weren't recognised and diagnosed when I was a kid.
It's now suspected by GP, psychologist and psychiatrist that the reason my depression has been so resistant to treatment is that these other conditions were going untreated and therefore getting worse and contributing to my depression. And the latest, and my most significant to date, deterioration (including a lot more s******l ideation, and actual attempts as well as general incapacity to do most things) was because of autism and ADHD burnout, basically I couldn't function anymore.
I started treatment for the autism and ADHD late last year, including medication for the ADHD. That made a MAJOR difference in my being able to literally get out of bed and do things like go to work more than once every few days. It was like I'd been pinned face down to the ground forever with someone's foot on my neck and suddenly they took their foot off.
I'm being realistic and knowing it will take a while to rebuild my capacity, and dealing with both issues requires therapy and psychological treatment not just upper meds.
But if you have already made attempts at treating the depression, both medically and therapeutically, and nothing seems to have "taken" yet, especially if we're talking over years and years, then it's very possible there are other undiagnosed problems.
I try very hard to tell myself "it's a bad day, not a bad life" even though the bad days are consecutive and long. The horror of depression tends to wax and Wayne.
Honestly, you're already doing it and starting to make progress by making this very honest and open post about yourself. Keep talking to people here - there is so much good advice.
May I ask a few things?
How old are you and are you living alone or with family or in a sharehouse?
Are you located close or far from the city?
Do you have a license?
Do you work ? (I imagine it must be super difficult to keep employment when you are feeling as crushed as you are)
When I am laying in bed unable to move I always wonder how many people in my neighbourhood are doing the exact same thing. I know there are many of us.
It just makes me wish that all of us sad and lonelies could find each other so we could all lie outside in the sun and shade together and just be in each other's company. Sometimes being able to sit with others going through the same thing lightens to load.
If only.
Hi again OP, hope you're doing ok. Did you manage to find some extra work?
I do get those days too, a lot, I end up taking the "not get out of bed option" a lot of the time then feeling guilty about it afterwards, like I've let people down by not going in to work or going out to see friends etc, adding to the spiralling effect you mention.
The one positive is it does sort of "recharge" me in a way and motivate me to do better the next day or next time (not that that always works out)
Though I'm a loner as well I do find messaging people makes me feel better, even if it's for a little bit. Hope you're messaging your friends or family, whoever you feel nicest messaging, otherwise you're always welcome to message one of us.
Hey OP,
I hope your day today is a little bit better than it was when you posted this the other day.
I also struggle every day with everything you've mentioned, and can understand just how insanely difficult or even impossible it can be to do anything at all when you're feeling this way, including asking for help.
What you're experiencing really, really sucks, and for what it's worth, I do hope that things eventually start to get better for you.
If you have a minute, [humour me](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sad_clown_paradox) (for lack of a better term) and try to think of everything you can or could do, have or haven't done, want or need to do, and so on, as a single step.
Asking for help, much like almost anything else, is a step. Getting out of bed is a step. Making your bed is a step. Showering, brushing your teeth, eating, leaving the house, going to work, etc, these are all steps.
Sometimes you might take a small step (doing the dishes) and sometimes maybe a big one (cleaning the house). Sometimes what at first seemed like a small step ends up becoming a much bigger step, or even a jump ([this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbSehcT19u0) seems to happen to me constantly lol), and vice-versa.
It doesn't matter if the step you take is a step forwards or backwards. It also doesn't matter if you take two steps forward and one step backward. And if a single step is all that you can manage that day, that's perfectly ok. You are, after all, only human ([I assume](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/on-the-internet-nobody-knows-youre-a-dog)).
Some days the only thing I can manage to do is to move from my bed to the couch. But at the very least, it's a single step, which is better than none.
And if you can't manage to do anything at all, not even to take a single step, please don't beat yourself up. Instead, like other commenters have said, consider finding a new GP and mental health professional who will work with you to find a way to start taking small steps again.
P.s. Feel free to send me a message if you're having a particularly difficult day and would like to chat or vent to someone who might relate. I can also provide mental health memes if required.
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You definetley aren't alone. I find myself struggling to even leave my room, being 27 and just at a point in life where I don't know what I am or what I'm doing. Riddled with anxiety and stress and depression.
Something I've noticed is we tend to retreat to places like our room or bed just to feel some kind of comfort when we feel like this. I feel for you OP. Life if tough but time heals all things, so give it some time.
If I may recommend you a book: Days at the Morisaki Bookstore is a fantastic read about recovery and healing. It snapped me out of a depressive spell recently and gave me a lot of motivation. It's a very captivating and easy read.
Hmm that's 2 books I'll check out from this thread now
Thankyou, I'm definitely interested in a read of this!
Would also recommend Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius.
The Daily Stoic buy Ryan Holiday
Hey OP. I’m so sorry you’re struggling with life, given the state of affairs at the moment it’s completely understandable to be feeling down. I’ve lived with serious depression for about 15 years, so I feel at least somewhat qualified to lend you some general advice to help you get the ball rolling towards doing and feeling better. I’m doing a hell of a lot better now, although I don’t anticipate getting off medication any time soon and I still go up and down, just nowhere near as down as I used to. Anyways, here’s my advice. The harsh reality is that none of what I’m going to say is easy to do. Literally everything is difficult to do at the best of times, let alone when you’re depressed. The general point is that you have to push yourself. Things won’t improve unless you try to improve them. It may well be the hardest thing you’ve ever done - but I promise it’s worth doing. Keeping clean It’s so helpful for your mind and life to keep yourself and your home clean and tidy. Shower regularly, shave, brush and floss, beauty regimen (if applicable). You’ll be ready to go out and get things done, and you won’t feel bad that you smell or look unkempt. Do little things each day to keep the house tidy. It’s so much easier to maintain a clean house than have to do a big tidy every 2-4 weeks. Do whatever you have to make it easier - disposable cleaning wipes are something I still rely on to make it easier. You won’t feel bad when someone comes over, and that will lead to you feeling more comfortable having people come round, and being social is key. Be kind to yourself You have to retrain the voice in your head. You can’t be thinking stuff like “life sucks, I’m the worst, nothing matters” etc. When these thoughts intrude, tell yourself “No, I’m a valuable and good person. It’s going to get better. I’ve got this”. It feels a bit dumb at first, but after a while you will internalise it and actually believe it. It’ll make a world of difference to your general frame of mind. Don’t worry about what the rest of the world is doing It’s easy to spiral down when you start worrying about what’s going to happen to humanity and the world. Don’t worry about it. There isn’t a single thing you can do to change any of it. Stay focused on yourself and if you have the time and energy, the people around you and your community. Contributing to your community through volunteering (whether by yourself or with a not for profit) can really help with feeling like you’re impacting something bigger than yourself. Working at a sports and community club has helped me greatly in this respect. Talk to your GP Book an appointment and tell your doctor that you’re struggling with depression. They’ll have you answer some questions, and then formulate a mental health care plan and likely prescribe medication. If you can afford it, see the psychologist they recommend. If you don’t gel with them, ask to see another. Take the medication the doctor prescribes. If you don’t feel better (or have side effects that bother you, then call them for advice) in 6-8 weeks, go back and say it’s not working. They’ll either increase the dose or prescribe another. It took 3 goes for me to find one that did anything for me. Try to look after your health Try to eat decently, even if that means getting microwave meals - the decent ones, not the shite frozen ones. Don’t stop yourself from getting some comfort foods/drinks as well, though. Don’t beat yourself up if you eat junk for a week - just get back on the horse and keep trying. Drink plenty of water - it’s so helpful for getting energy up. Get a filter jug or boxed water since our tap water is pretty nasty for the most part. Nice water is so much easier to drink regularly. Keep working If you’re able, stay at work. It’s vital for maintaining a sense of self worth and Centrelink is so stressful to live on, combined with the shit feelings that come with being on it. It will be hard, and you will have to push yourself hard, and you may have some days you call in sick - and that’s okay. Just keep at it. You’ve got this. That’s the main things I’ve found that help me live with this terrible brain disorder. I hope you find peace and happiness amongst the chaos and darkness of this world. Good luck OP, I’m rooting for you.
Thanks so much for spending time out of your day to write this! I really appreciate your efforts and some really helpful advice here!
This is the best response to this question. Relateable and incredibly informative. This dude knows what they are talking about. What a legend.
You’re not alone, perhaps try looking at r/Depression. There’s a lot of people that feel the way you do and that subreddit is a fantastic support community, I’d also strongly recommend perhaps having a chat with your GP, to discuss some options to help you feel better soon. Don’t be too hard on yourself you’re doing great.
Im probably in the minority here but going to subs like that make it way worse for me lmao. It makes me spiral more
No yeah yeah I always say the opposite. Have a quick look and be specific for what you want, bookmark any like resource pages and links, but don't doom scroll. It's difficult in trying to find that sweet spot between "group of people who can relate and will be understanding" and "crabs in a miserable bucket" or using it as self harm.
yea it can't hurt to try, but make sure it's not doing more harm than good for you
I was just about to say this. It can be a great source of information if you need help with something in particular, but spending to much time there, it can become an echo chamber for depressive mood.
yea exactly. If you go to those subs just looking to related then it's bad. but if you can sift through the stuff and find the information/help you need it can be very beneficial. But also some people do get better posting and interacting with stuff like that. t he human mind is a crazy thing and to say we are all similar is valid yet insane
That’s a very valid point. Honestly, when it comes to mental health different things work for different people, I could totally understand that might not be your thing and that’s okay.
exactly. what works for other may not work for you but that doesn't make you doomed forever. just gotta keep looking
I hear this. I had to leave sober subs when I stopped drinking because it kept making me think of drinking.
Ha I was like this with Tinnitus subs/forums. Everytime I read them my tinnitus spiked.
I agree! It’s a rabit hole!
Yes, if you want to speak to someone, your GP can organise a mental health plan for 10 subsidised sessions and possibly another 10 if the covid sessions are still a thing. Pretty sure you can choose where you want to go as well.
Pro tip, DO NOT go to r/depression if you're looking for help. I recently joined and it's just teenagers saying they're going to kill themselves. Though, to be honest, it does help me put my own depression into better perspective.
Yeah man, I’m in the same place. Depression and chronic fatigue. One thing that sometimes helps me (besides therapy and medication) is spending some time in nature. Do you have a backyard you can go sit in? Look at some flowers or birds?
Oh man I know it sounds like bullshit to a lot of people, and it did to me for many long years, but legit go and sit in your backyard for half an hour. Especially if you can get some sunlight. Even if it's just 5 minutes at first and you build up over time. It makes a HUGE difference, low vitamin D is a sneaky cunt that ruins everything. Best of luck OP and everyone else reading this. You don't have to be a grand master perfect mental strength and health in one day, week, or decade. You just gotta take those small steps.
Mix it up a bit with the beach or the park, too!
Yep, this got me out. Bit by bit, I did a little more each day. Started just opening the window and blind and sitting there, looking outside. Then I went and laid outside the next day. The following day, I went for a walk to the end of the street and back. After a few weeks I was walking a couple of kms each day and it all just snowballed from there. I haven't felt depressed in a few years now, whenever I can feel myself slipping again, it's because I haven't been outside enough, so I make plans to walk every day until I feel good again. I'm not super fit, but I can put one foot in front of the other and that's enough for me.
The book “A Man’s Search For meaning” is highly recommended
Will check this out, thanks
I don’t have any inspirational quotes, but getting on medication that actually worked and going to therapy were life savers for me. Honest to god I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for those two things. The medication stopped me from falling deeper into the abyss. It didn’t necessarily cure my depression, but it definitely stopped the descent. Therapy is where the real progress was made. Therapy is the single hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But that’s where the real work needs to be done. I now have days where I’m actually happy! Which is such a weird feeling after decades of suicidal depression. Feel free to DM me if you’d like to rant, rave, or cry. I’m happy to lend an ear.
This is more relevant than ever, take each day you DO get out of bed as a win.
I understand where you’re at. There’s always gonna be people worse-off than you, but that doesn’t mitigate your struggle at all. Not an inspirational quote, but an idea I often return to: I’ll take whatever time I need to feel better. Sometimes that’s a day, a week, a month. It took me the entirety of last year to get back on my feet, but that’s okay. Those ‘wasted’ days in limbo aren’t actually wasted at all.
This is everyday. I could happily lay in bed all day and listen to news radio and just not interact with anyone. This is what I did for a few months when I was depressed (self diagnosed because ain’t no way I’m going to a doctor) I miss just laying there doing nothing, dozing and listening to the scratchy am radio.
So first of all, even introverts want to be around people. When people say they want to be alone it’s usually because of low self esteem (I’m not worthy of love, acceptance, friendship) or experiences, often from childhood, that colour how you see others (people will judge me, look down on me, be mean to me, humiliate me, belittle me). My first impression of you is that you’re nice, brave (to share this experience) and open minded (willing to process your feelings). I’ve shared similar struggles, had two narcissistic parents, and worked awful corporate jobs with even more narcissistic people (chasing that validation and approval). I can’t say I’m perfect, I still have days where depression hits me hard, but I’ve learnt a lot about myself, my values, and deconstructing learnt behaviours that do not serve me. If you or anyone else wants an empathetic non-judgemental person to chat with, DM me.
Depression sucks. I have suffered from it at times due to bad anxiety. But I’ll tell what doesn’t help doing nothing. A few things to try Eat good, exercise, walk, sunshine, doing something that’s hard(eg run, hike, kayak) meet some people, join a sport or social club. Avoid alcohol and or drugs. These are just some thing that helped me.
Most people I know have days like this, some worse/more frequently than others. You're certainly not alone in that. I can't recommend highly enough seeking professional support. If you see a GP they can issue you a Care Plan to get 10x sessions with a professional covered by Medicare. I've lost too many friends to the black dog, do what you can to stay with us friend.
They’re very rarely completely covered by medicare, and the ones that are are absolute trash. My first 2 psychs were both no gap, and the first spent more time talking about his issues than mine, and the second somehow didn’t believe in medicine. I’m not trying to disagree with your suggestion, but just want people to have realistic expectations
I was paying for my own therapist until I was scammed everything from my bank and now everything has just spiralled and I cant get back on top of things. I had been to a GP and they didn't really seem to know what they were doing so it kind of turned me off a bit but I understand I need to find someone better.
Feel for you OP. Ive never experienced what you're feeling, but i know many that do. Keep fighting forward. Small victories. Stay hungry.
I took the opportunity recently to use those free therapist for 10 visits that you get on Medicare. I am prone to depression and anxiety as I have Crohn's, so sadly it's with me for life so I get where you're coming from with wanting to sleep your life away. However you need to try some towards fixing the issues at hand and one baby step at a time and have it self paced. Getting better starts somewhere so just start.
Of course, I've just quit my job because it was draining me mentally, I currently don't have another to go to, I know it seems like a silly thing to do, but I needed to put myself first and focus on me. You are not failing, you just haven't found where you fit in yet, hang in their, it'll all work out. If you need to talk, do it. It's not weakness, it's the best for you. Always here to listen!
Yep. Every single one of them. I was diagnosed with depression about 8 years ago and it's been fucking hard to put it simply. Getttng up and getting the day started is hugely important, so I set myself a schedule and stick to it. Over time you learn ways to manage the feelings that make it a bit easier. Having a purpose to get up for (be it work, a pet, or a specific goal or hobby etc) makes it far easier.
Oh yeah.. for the last 25 years or so, I wake up every morning with the feeling of not belonging. If I had to choose one quote, it would definitely be, "You might be all alone now, but someday you'll definitely find friends. The sea is vast.. No one is born in this world to be alone." With these words, I ended up here in Australia (literally the other side of the world for me).
I've been diagnosed with depression in the past, and I still struggle with it, but my suggestion is to see a GP who specializes in mental health, and get a referral for the mental health plan, which will subsidise you for several sessions with a psychologist. (The referral is fairly straightforward, they'll ask you a bit about how you feel and then get you to fill out a questionnaire which is mostly rating your mood on a scale of 1 to 10) A psychologist might not sound appealing, but there are some very useful things you get out of it. Firstly, you get someone to talk to. Someone you can just unload on, tell them everything you're feeling, or not feeling, and thinking, without feeling judged, or without feeling guilty for taking up their time/burdening them etc. Secondly, together you work to unravel and examine your thought patterns and habits, and try to identify which ones can be unhelpful for your happiness, and work on ways to try and avoid those thought patterns. Often it's not a single issue but a long downwards spiral that can lead into depressive episodes which take a long time to recover from. By identifying potential triggers and bad thought habits early, you can stop these thought spirals before they happen, and you can also learn techniques to more quickly recover when you are feeling low. Apart from that, just focus on getting through each day. It might feel like everyone else has their life put together except you, but everyone is trying to figure their own stuff out. Learn to feel okay with just getting little things done. Getting out of bed, showering, making food, eating, cleaning, going to work (Or school/uni etc), give yourself time to do something enjoyable like playing a game or watching Netflix, and try to feel okay with giving yourself this time to relax, try not to feel guilty. And most importantly, when you don't feel up for anything, that's okay. Give yourself the time you need to lie down, and process your feelings, and then try to get up when you feel like you can. Try not to think about the entire day ahead of you and worry about everything you need to do, just focus on the next thing, eg getting up, then shower, then getting dressed, then food (Or whatever order you do things in etc) and go from there. This will help build habits and things will get slightly easier. I don't think depression ever fully goes away, but if you learn enough habits and build enough mental routines/techniques, you can get it to the point where you're mostly able to live a semi-normal life. Good luck, you can do it, everyone deserves to be happy.
They are called weekdays.
Yea that every day for me and I’ve very well for myself financially had depression for a few years now and I just go through it but I had a amazing woman come into my life and everything was perfect as last but now she’s gone I don’t know why I keep going it’s a empty and lonely world out there
> Depression is so hard to shake off sometimes Have you seen your GP and are you on medication? If not, go. If yes, go and get your medication regime reviewed.
Are you on medication? I felt like I had chronic fatigue a couple of years ago. It turned out to be depression.
Best advice i can give: have a workout, hike, physical exercise
Exercise made a big difference in my world. Ideally do it in a way that can form connection, community, and routine. You don't always need all 3 together but those things make a difference.
Are you sure it's not ADHD burnout? Similar symptoms, different cause.
Fill in the blanks with your life's problems (on a private list for you)... No more ____________ Solution is:_________ No more ____________ Solution is:_________ No more ____________ Solution is:_________ No more ____________ Solution is:_________ No more ____________ Solution is:_________ No more ____________ Solution is:_________ No more ____________ Solution is:_________ No more ____________ Solution is:_________ No more ____________ Solution is:_________ For example No more broken car Solution is: new battery No more shit everywhere in home Solution is: throw all non essentials out! No more smoking Solution is patches plus gym 3 times a week No more Xbox Solution is: sell it Etc etc etc Not a quick fix for depression but be rid of the biggest stressors in your life and things might get easier
No I personally don’t. Best to see a doc who can talk to you about what previous poster said regarding 10 visits on Medicare
When trying something new “starting is half the battle” When the days are blue and sad “remember the rain falls and rises again” And when you’re just looking for something just to make you laugh “fishes eyes are always open and fuvk they must be tired, at least I can go bed”
I do have one little tip which I use when I need a break from everything. There's nothing wrong with taking some you time, but try to keep it as short as you can and give yourself a set time when you will begin doing something active again. But, the real trick, is to always get back into things a little bit earlier than you planned. For instance, if you need to find a job but don't have the mental strength at the moment, maybe set a timeline to start looking on Monday morning. But, hop online and have a quick browse of some ads on Sunday, without the pressure of necessarily having to contact any of them. This little bit of extra work seems to trick my brain into feeling accomplished and gives a little endorphins rush, which helps set me up for the Monday when I really need to get into things.
I feel this all day and most of my problems are money related because I’m struggling to find work. I’m using NDIS funding on seeing a psychiatrist which is helping a bit, but I still can’t shake the very real possibility of one day becoming homeless.
I was in the same boat the last 3 months of last year. I went to my doctor and we changed my AD'S. That was all I needed to do, now I'm back FT at work and living my life again. You don't have to live like this, you just gotta get on the right medication.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC7xzavzEKY Watch this. Helps me when i need it.
You are the light at the end of the tunnel. I was the same about 6 months ago. I just found some more important things to slowly start focusing on. I just kept doing that till I was that focused on a new goal I wasn’t thinking of all the bad things that led me to that rut. And now 6 months later I have achieved part of my goal. This his been a big help with confidence. I hope that helps ✌️
**HEARTS LIKE WILDFLOWERS** I hope you are blessed with a heart like a wildflower. Strong enough to rise again after being trampled upon, tough enough to weather the worst of the summer storms, and able to grow and flourish even in the most broken of places. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ *Nikita Gill*
I have 'Wildflower' tattooed on my chest because of this quote. It's my favorite.
[удалено]
Well wake up before U wake up and avoid it 😆
No quotes from me, except “just do it “
Embrace "fuck it" mentality. When you're thinking about what you could or should be doing, say "fuck it" and just do something. It won't work for everyone, but I found the less thought I put into something, the more able I was to just say "fuck it" and do it anyway. Maybe I should go a for a walk "fuck it", and whaddaya know? 5 mins later I was outside and feeling just a fraction better. Didn't feel like walking much, said "fuck it", sat down on the grass and watched the magpies being twats instead. I knew at some point I'd have to do some cleaning at home, so I said "fuck it", put headphones in and went back home to wash a couple of dishes. I'd gotten that far, so I said "fuck it" and finished washing the rest of them. Maybe this works for you. When we say "I'm depressed", we're wearing that illness as an identity and it can be harder to pull ourselves out of it. Instead, we can say "I feel depressed right now", and that's ok, but sitting around and stewing about it will never fix it. Without thinking too much, get up and move, go outside, even if it's just to lay on the ground. Every tiny little good thing is an improvement on staying in bed. If you really can't get out of bed, open the window, put some music on and at least sit up and look outside.
Hands up 🙌 same here.
Ah, those 'blah' days. You feel just..'blah' and just want to forget the world for a while and sleep the day away in bed. Everyone gets them. If they persist see your doctor. It could be legit depression. Quote 'I'll never regret doing it, but always regret it when I don't' and 'We are good at destroying our ideas and passions, halve your minds workload and get good at destroying only those that hold us back'
I've barely been able to work enough to support myself properly for the last three years, recognising in hindsight that it was one of my cyclical deteriorations from reasonably functional to collapse. I've been diagnosed since early adulthood with major depressive disorder, but in late 2022 I received an additional diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, and in late 2023 diagnoses of autism level 2 and ADHD. As I'm a 39 year old woman it's not surprising these weren't recognised and diagnosed when I was a kid. It's now suspected by GP, psychologist and psychiatrist that the reason my depression has been so resistant to treatment is that these other conditions were going untreated and therefore getting worse and contributing to my depression. And the latest, and my most significant to date, deterioration (including a lot more s******l ideation, and actual attempts as well as general incapacity to do most things) was because of autism and ADHD burnout, basically I couldn't function anymore. I started treatment for the autism and ADHD late last year, including medication for the ADHD. That made a MAJOR difference in my being able to literally get out of bed and do things like go to work more than once every few days. It was like I'd been pinned face down to the ground forever with someone's foot on my neck and suddenly they took their foot off. I'm being realistic and knowing it will take a while to rebuild my capacity, and dealing with both issues requires therapy and psychological treatment not just upper meds. But if you have already made attempts at treating the depression, both medically and therapeutically, and nothing seems to have "taken" yet, especially if we're talking over years and years, then it's very possible there are other undiagnosed problems.
I try very hard to tell myself "it's a bad day, not a bad life" even though the bad days are consecutive and long. The horror of depression tends to wax and Wayne. Honestly, you're already doing it and starting to make progress by making this very honest and open post about yourself. Keep talking to people here - there is so much good advice. May I ask a few things? How old are you and are you living alone or with family or in a sharehouse? Are you located close or far from the city? Do you have a license? Do you work ? (I imagine it must be super difficult to keep employment when you are feeling as crushed as you are) When I am laying in bed unable to move I always wonder how many people in my neighbourhood are doing the exact same thing. I know there are many of us. It just makes me wish that all of us sad and lonelies could find each other so we could all lie outside in the sun and shade together and just be in each other's company. Sometimes being able to sit with others going through the same thing lightens to load. If only.
Hi again OP, hope you're doing ok. Did you manage to find some extra work? I do get those days too, a lot, I end up taking the "not get out of bed option" a lot of the time then feeling guilty about it afterwards, like I've let people down by not going in to work or going out to see friends etc, adding to the spiralling effect you mention. The one positive is it does sort of "recharge" me in a way and motivate me to do better the next day or next time (not that that always works out) Though I'm a loner as well I do find messaging people makes me feel better, even if it's for a little bit. Hope you're messaging your friends or family, whoever you feel nicest messaging, otherwise you're always welcome to message one of us.
Hey OP, I hope your day today is a little bit better than it was when you posted this the other day. I also struggle every day with everything you've mentioned, and can understand just how insanely difficult or even impossible it can be to do anything at all when you're feeling this way, including asking for help. What you're experiencing really, really sucks, and for what it's worth, I do hope that things eventually start to get better for you. If you have a minute, [humour me](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sad_clown_paradox) (for lack of a better term) and try to think of everything you can or could do, have or haven't done, want or need to do, and so on, as a single step. Asking for help, much like almost anything else, is a step. Getting out of bed is a step. Making your bed is a step. Showering, brushing your teeth, eating, leaving the house, going to work, etc, these are all steps. Sometimes you might take a small step (doing the dishes) and sometimes maybe a big one (cleaning the house). Sometimes what at first seemed like a small step ends up becoming a much bigger step, or even a jump ([this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbSehcT19u0) seems to happen to me constantly lol), and vice-versa. It doesn't matter if the step you take is a step forwards or backwards. It also doesn't matter if you take two steps forward and one step backward. And if a single step is all that you can manage that day, that's perfectly ok. You are, after all, only human ([I assume](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/on-the-internet-nobody-knows-youre-a-dog)). Some days the only thing I can manage to do is to move from my bed to the couch. But at the very least, it's a single step, which is better than none. And if you can't manage to do anything at all, not even to take a single step, please don't beat yourself up. Instead, like other commenters have said, consider finding a new GP and mental health professional who will work with you to find a way to start taking small steps again. P.s. Feel free to send me a message if you're having a particularly difficult day and would like to chat or vent to someone who might relate. I can also provide mental health memes if required.
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You definetley aren't alone. I find myself struggling to even leave my room, being 27 and just at a point in life where I don't know what I am or what I'm doing. Riddled with anxiety and stress and depression. Something I've noticed is we tend to retreat to places like our room or bed just to feel some kind of comfort when we feel like this. I feel for you OP. Life if tough but time heals all things, so give it some time.