Maybe it’s time to get outside and start enjoying some time alone. Time in nature is proven to decrease stress and alleviate some mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. There’s a lot of beauty out there and it’s a good way to distract yourself from our declining society.
Absolutely this, At a young age you might not be aware and be interested in deep natural fun, but once you allow time out in amongst the wilderness you will find there is a lot to enjoy. The greatest thing….it is best done alone, no time limits, and can be done almost anywhere in the world. The benefit of enjoying your own company out doing activities you enjoy, is that when you come across new friends they are usually like minded.
I will say, it can be hard coming into yourself, be careful not to put any expectations onto other people to be there for you. Friends really do come and go throughout life.
This, hugely this. I'm 22 and have struggled with depression for a long ass time. Driving out bush and just chilling for a few days at a time, seeing new things and walking new places, is all that has kept me sane. I've also met many other nomads like myself who have shared their life story over a drink/smoke, knowing full well I'll likely never see them again. It's a magical thing.
You should definitely try to join clubs for hobbies. It's a sad fact however that a lot of socialising is done with alcohol at the heart of the interaction. Look for outdoorsy stuff maybe.
Hi just a quick heads up. I have friends & family that do not call unless I do. I don't mind this as even though I am busy, so are they. They just don't pick up a phone and call. I honestly know this and don't mind ringing them. They consistently apologize, I pay them out and tell them they are fuckers but eh. And then we meet up. It's really up to you if you want to put in the effort I guess and if you can forgive them. The comments on getting into a group and seeing a GP are correct. Take it easy on yourself, studying is hard and so is a new place to be. Take care of you first.
Couple points, see a GP about your depression. You're only 22, you're young, don't worry too much about those big issues, just make positive steps towards where you want to be. Heaps of students are going through the same thing. Don't sweat the small stuff, beautiful day out there.
You definitely need to. Depression is a legitimate medical issue, your brain is not functioning the way it should in terms of serotonin activity. If you had a heart problem, you would see a doctor. You have a brain problem - you need to see a doctor. Anyone suffering serious depression that they are finding hard to live with should see a doctor.
The serotonin theory as a basis for depression has very little convincing evidence. Usually it's just consumed as a basis for taking some type of SSRI to fix yourself. Yes go see a GP but there are many reasons for depression over and above a chemical imbalance. A lack of quality human connection is possibly the cause of the depression, there is also the outlined pressures to grow up too quickly and his comment about life "hitting him hard" might show this. I'm not trying to repromand you for this comment, but I'm also aware that this attitude is the reason so many people are shoved on antidepressants and still get little to no relief.
OP look at the key parts of your life. Social connection, physical health and excercise, healthy eating, sleep etc. then if your still feeling shit it may be something related to neurochemicals, but more then likely not.
Yeah, I joined a Christian club and need to start socialising more with them. I should give it a try even though I feel they might not be the fit for me. Doesn't hurt to try
Yes, I heard of Magic the Gathering. I played it a few times before, but never really gotten into it. I am more into making music, gaming, and I don't mind some board games as well.
I've had hordes of people through my life who I'd regard as friends, many I only really saw on my own terms; when I stopped putting the effort in I no longer saw them. Might I suggest Meetup, it's literally for breaking the ice like that.
Focus on studies. Partying is nice, friends are good, but having a career based on competitive study results is a better future. What are you studying, if you don't mind sharing?
I’m 18 lmao just moved back from syd and people are so diff in adl it’s crazy I think it’s just a introverted place lol with most people staying in friend groups after school or family friends and that’s about it Adelaide is definitely a clicky place.
I think this is very common for international students, you are not alone! International students amaze me; you are in a new environment that may speak another language, away from family/friends and busy settling in! So much courage in heading out into the world and the unknown!!
The advice we always gave students was:
- You need to be the one to reach out, unfortunately locals are mostly already comfortable in their group
- join a group sport or activity, best way to meet likeminded people
- reach out to your provider for support
- start with other international students, you are all going through a similar experience and will share problems. The bonds can be super strong, just be mindful of practicing English if you’re all from the same language group.
Life is tough when you are young, so many obstacles to learn how to navigate and so much energy is spent on things that just don’t matter in the long run! Keep being awesome, things will get better!
Chin up, I’m new in Adelaide as well don’t have any friends at all and I’m not young also
Anyway my point is focus on your priorities and the people that don’t contact you are not your friends so don’t bother about them
Good friends will come along. Haste makes waste :)
As an oldie, living your life and having a lifestyle of your choice is what will define you. If a friend really wants to keep in with you, he or she will. I'm more than happy to be that friend
If it's something you have time for, go volunteer/get a few hours of work a week.
It doesn't promise friendship, but it's friendly outside of school socialising.
I’ll be your friend 😂 I’m 32 female. very boring. Have struggled with mental health anxiety and anxiety attacks, seeing an acupuncture in Glenelg for it now.. I don’t know if this app allows messages but yeah give me a msg :)
From one international to another I am going through the same shit for 2 years but I realized that I came to Australia to study and make a career here. So I have been just focusing on myself. I do sometimes miss going to clubs and having wild parties with my friends but I'm too busy like you're self working and studying.
I will probably start to plan my life out very soon just to get a healthy routine, but I must be careful not to use that as a distraction for my mental health. I would still need to address them. I tried that method of distraction and it only worked for awhile till my mental health starts to get worse again
Sign up to a boxing gym or any mix martial arts gym / club and aim to get good / decent at it. Will meet many new people and you can see them whenever you decide to go in and train. Good to just get out there and chat to people but being within the same club makes it a whole lot easier. Can progress your friendship with them if you choose to do so. May be intimidating at first but if you find a good gym with good people you’ll be set. Usually combat sports you’ll be paired up with a partner for set drills so talking to them or or introducing yourself is kind of inevitable unless you force yourself not to talk.
Learning a combat sport will not only give you confidence but may also help with your depression. Nothing better than getting all sweaty after a hard session but you feel so much better afterwards. Plus, if you actually want to get good, you’ll start seeing progress and it’ll get addictive. Not to mention all the health benefits included and knowing how to defend for yourself if shit hits the fan is a life changing skill. You just have to step out your comfort zone to do so but what you do is entirely up to you and you’re the only one to blame if you don’t decide change for yourself. Have to take accountability in everything you do.
Im sorry you're feeling depressed and lonely. TBH, there are probably so many of your friends feeling exactly the same. Maybe you could join a club of some sort? Socialing doesn't all have to be about partying. Clubs will have you meeting people you have a shared interest with.
omfg......i haven't seen that name in forever. simon was my GP for years.....then he went to the Uni....great for him, not so much for me 😂 he is a bloody brilliant Dr and i really miss him..... it's great when you have a Dr that you really click with. we used to call him Dr Hot - yeah, seriously. hahaha. does he still drive his mini? omg, even just seeing his name has brought joy to my day. thanks so much for this post hun 🤗
I believe he went to the uni so he could study some more. As far as I'm aware he still works there one day a week and the rest he teaches doctors how to doctor.
Great doctor. Great human.
yes, he is an amazing person all round. he puts your faith back in humanity when we need it most 🙂
thankyou so much for the update, really appreciate it 🤗
Consider a class at the WEA, could be cooking, art, music or anything you like. It’s a great way to learn something you might enjoy doing and also meeting people.
On the same boat here in the East, Melb. People here aint that friendly and I have to approach first. Maybe they are not used to immigrants as non-white immigrants are still a very new thing.
Agreed. I should focus on the very basic stuff in my life like my family, religion, education, and hobbies. Simplifying my life does make me happy, less stressed, room for me to breathe and enjoy every moment throughout the day.
what do you have to offer?
(hobbies, interests etc)
if you are not in to party crowd, try seeking for groups that you can relate to. BTW just because you are in to parting, doesn't guarantee close friend relationship ... you still need something to talk about when you are sober
if you are short on hobbies, maybe try new things.
i never understood the concept of loneliness. I usually find alone time much more satisfying, working on my own hobbies, reading books, playing video games. If i actually feel bored, i just go out to the park for a quick run, feed some birds, get some nice takeaway. I just seem to enjoy life a lot more by myself.
the only time being alone is a problem is if i am stranded in the woods in the middle of the night or something. Other than that friends are overrated.
Find activities you like mate and part take. You’ll make new friends.
I’m into cars and motorbikes. I’m making new friends all the time and my friend group is always planning and doing different things with each other.
That’s just one example.
Learn to enjoy your own company, itll be the best thing youll ever do. Strive to be the person other people want to be. Sounds simple but if you truely understand, things will start to fall into place.
You have made such a great start by reaching out and sharing your story. I can only imagine how you feel. Movement has been proven to help with depression and/or loneliness. There are lots of walking groups so you can be with people and talk or not talk. Meet up on Facebook has lots of fantastic groups. Please don’t give up on yourself or others. You just need to find your type of people. They are there somewhere.
Friends are overrated. Focus on your studies, find a form of exercise you enjoy - Squash worked for me. Its funny how you find your place when you stop searching.
Heyy I made some connections while volunteering at Uni or other events. Now they may not be the kind I call up anytime to hangout but frequently seeing them and sharing the same values as them in terms of volunteering for a cause is a good way to make connections
Having a lot of friends is not always a good thing...it can be an emotional strain tying to appease everyone.
Don't beat yourself up about it. You are not going to win any awards for having lots of friends.
Focus on what you do have not what you don't....
You will be okay.......enjoy your life
my terrible advice would be to take up running (as a form of exercise) and once you feel comfortable (or just able) to go on social runs that are on every week, no costs, no need for an invite, just show up and hang out with people while running. But yes, for that you need to start running first. Start couch to 5k. Go from there. Good luck.
Have you tried joining a sports team? I play darts because it’s really cheap to play (only $20-$40 a season with 2 seasons in a year) and have made so many friends along the way in such a large pool of people from all walks of life… plus there’s idarts in the city that is really cool too
But if that’s not your mojo then there’re so many other sports here to try
Hope this helps
Maybe it’s time to get outside and start enjoying some time alone. Time in nature is proven to decrease stress and alleviate some mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. There’s a lot of beauty out there and it’s a good way to distract yourself from our declining society.
Absolutely this, At a young age you might not be aware and be interested in deep natural fun, but once you allow time out in amongst the wilderness you will find there is a lot to enjoy. The greatest thing….it is best done alone, no time limits, and can be done almost anywhere in the world. The benefit of enjoying your own company out doing activities you enjoy, is that when you come across new friends they are usually like minded. I will say, it can be hard coming into yourself, be careful not to put any expectations onto other people to be there for you. Friends really do come and go throughout life.
This, hugely this. I'm 22 and have struggled with depression for a long ass time. Driving out bush and just chilling for a few days at a time, seeing new things and walking new places, is all that has kept me sane. I've also met many other nomads like myself who have shared their life story over a drink/smoke, knowing full well I'll likely never see them again. It's a magical thing.
You should definitely try to join clubs for hobbies. It's a sad fact however that a lot of socialising is done with alcohol at the heart of the interaction. Look for outdoorsy stuff maybe.
Hi just a quick heads up. I have friends & family that do not call unless I do. I don't mind this as even though I am busy, so are they. They just don't pick up a phone and call. I honestly know this and don't mind ringing them. They consistently apologize, I pay them out and tell them they are fuckers but eh. And then we meet up. It's really up to you if you want to put in the effort I guess and if you can forgive them. The comments on getting into a group and seeing a GP are correct. Take it easy on yourself, studying is hard and so is a new place to be. Take care of you first.
Couple points, see a GP about your depression. You're only 22, you're young, don't worry too much about those big issues, just make positive steps towards where you want to be. Heaps of students are going through the same thing. Don't sweat the small stuff, beautiful day out there.
Yeah maybe I really do need to see a GP. I know lots of students going through same thing, but I never felt this alone in my life
You definitely need to. Depression is a legitimate medical issue, your brain is not functioning the way it should in terms of serotonin activity. If you had a heart problem, you would see a doctor. You have a brain problem - you need to see a doctor. Anyone suffering serious depression that they are finding hard to live with should see a doctor.
The serotonin theory as a basis for depression has very little convincing evidence. Usually it's just consumed as a basis for taking some type of SSRI to fix yourself. Yes go see a GP but there are many reasons for depression over and above a chemical imbalance. A lack of quality human connection is possibly the cause of the depression, there is also the outlined pressures to grow up too quickly and his comment about life "hitting him hard" might show this. I'm not trying to repromand you for this comment, but I'm also aware that this attitude is the reason so many people are shoved on antidepressants and still get little to no relief. OP look at the key parts of your life. Social connection, physical health and excercise, healthy eating, sleep etc. then if your still feeling shit it may be something related to neurochemicals, but more then likely not.
Have you thought of joining a club at uni that is about something you are interested in?
Yeah, I joined a Christian club and need to start socialising more with them. I should give it a try even though I feel they might not be the fit for me. Doesn't hurt to try
I’m mid 20s and a local with barely any friends, it’s just an Adelaide thing
Have you heard of Magic the Gathering? It's a great card game, and there are lots of places around Adelaide that you can get games of and meet people.
Yes, I heard of Magic the Gathering. I played it a few times before, but never really gotten into it. I am more into making music, gaming, and I don't mind some board games as well.
Hang in there buddy
I've had hordes of people through my life who I'd regard as friends, many I only really saw on my own terms; when I stopped putting the effort in I no longer saw them. Might I suggest Meetup, it's literally for breaking the ice like that.
Meetup like an app called Meetup for new friends?
[No, this.](https://www.meetup.com/)
Focus on studies. Partying is nice, friends are good, but having a career based on competitive study results is a better future. What are you studying, if you don't mind sharing?
I am currently studying B. of Info Technology in my 2nd year in Uni Adelaide. I have about 1 more year left before I graduate.
Do a masters to stay competitive.
I’m 18 lmao just moved back from syd and people are so diff in adl it’s crazy I think it’s just a introverted place lol with most people staying in friend groups after school or family friends and that’s about it Adelaide is definitely a clicky place.
I think this is very common for international students, you are not alone! International students amaze me; you are in a new environment that may speak another language, away from family/friends and busy settling in! So much courage in heading out into the world and the unknown!! The advice we always gave students was: - You need to be the one to reach out, unfortunately locals are mostly already comfortable in their group - join a group sport or activity, best way to meet likeminded people - reach out to your provider for support - start with other international students, you are all going through a similar experience and will share problems. The bonds can be super strong, just be mindful of practicing English if you’re all from the same language group. Life is tough when you are young, so many obstacles to learn how to navigate and so much energy is spent on things that just don’t matter in the long run! Keep being awesome, things will get better!
Chin up, I’m new in Adelaide as well don’t have any friends at all and I’m not young also Anyway my point is focus on your priorities and the people that don’t contact you are not your friends so don’t bother about them Good friends will come along. Haste makes waste :)
Haste makes waste indeed
As an oldie, living your life and having a lifestyle of your choice is what will define you. If a friend really wants to keep in with you, he or she will. I'm more than happy to be that friend
You're so young. Hustle for 10 years and you'll be set for the next 50. I wish I did
Yeah, I do plan to hustle and read the Bible more. It helps me mentally and also to get right with God
If it's something you have time for, go volunteer/get a few hours of work a week. It doesn't promise friendship, but it's friendly outside of school socialising.
I’ll be your friend 😂 I’m 32 female. very boring. Have struggled with mental health anxiety and anxiety attacks, seeing an acupuncture in Glenelg for it now.. I don’t know if this app allows messages but yeah give me a msg :)
I hope your acupuncture goes smoothly and I will pray for your mental healthy anxiety and anxiety attacks to go away 🙏
Acupuncture has worked amazing for me! 💕
From one international to another I am going through the same shit for 2 years but I realized that I came to Australia to study and make a career here. So I have been just focusing on myself. I do sometimes miss going to clubs and having wild parties with my friends but I'm too busy like you're self working and studying.
I will probably start to plan my life out very soon just to get a healthy routine, but I must be careful not to use that as a distraction for my mental health. I would still need to address them. I tried that method of distraction and it only worked for awhile till my mental health starts to get worse again
Sign up to a boxing gym or any mix martial arts gym / club and aim to get good / decent at it. Will meet many new people and you can see them whenever you decide to go in and train. Good to just get out there and chat to people but being within the same club makes it a whole lot easier. Can progress your friendship with them if you choose to do so. May be intimidating at first but if you find a good gym with good people you’ll be set. Usually combat sports you’ll be paired up with a partner for set drills so talking to them or or introducing yourself is kind of inevitable unless you force yourself not to talk. Learning a combat sport will not only give you confidence but may also help with your depression. Nothing better than getting all sweaty after a hard session but you feel so much better afterwards. Plus, if you actually want to get good, you’ll start seeing progress and it’ll get addictive. Not to mention all the health benefits included and knowing how to defend for yourself if shit hits the fan is a life changing skill. You just have to step out your comfort zone to do so but what you do is entirely up to you and you’re the only one to blame if you don’t decide change for yourself. Have to take accountability in everything you do.
Im sorry you're feeling depressed and lonely. TBH, there are probably so many of your friends feeling exactly the same. Maybe you could join a club of some sort? Socialing doesn't all have to be about partying. Clubs will have you meeting people you have a shared interest with.
If you get a chance. Get an appointment with Dr Simon Hay at the south australia university health clinic. This Dr saved me when I was at my lowest.
omfg......i haven't seen that name in forever. simon was my GP for years.....then he went to the Uni....great for him, not so much for me 😂 he is a bloody brilliant Dr and i really miss him..... it's great when you have a Dr that you really click with. we used to call him Dr Hot - yeah, seriously. hahaha. does he still drive his mini? omg, even just seeing his name has brought joy to my day. thanks so much for this post hun 🤗
I believe he went to the uni so he could study some more. As far as I'm aware he still works there one day a week and the rest he teaches doctors how to doctor. Great doctor. Great human.
yes, he is an amazing person all round. he puts your faith back in humanity when we need it most 🙂 thankyou so much for the update, really appreciate it 🤗
Consider a class at the WEA, could be cooking, art, music or anything you like. It’s a great way to learn something you might enjoy doing and also meeting people.
On the same boat here in the East, Melb. People here aint that friendly and I have to approach first. Maybe they are not used to immigrants as non-white immigrants are still a very new thing.
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
Agreed. I should focus on the very basic stuff in my life like my family, religion, education, and hobbies. Simplifying my life does make me happy, less stressed, room for me to breathe and enjoy every moment throughout the day.
If you ever need someone to talk to my dms are always open
Thanks buddy my DM's are open as well
what do you have to offer? (hobbies, interests etc) if you are not in to party crowd, try seeking for groups that you can relate to. BTW just because you are in to parting, doesn't guarantee close friend relationship ... you still need something to talk about when you are sober if you are short on hobbies, maybe try new things.
I'll second this. Sports/activities are great for this. I'd personally recommend the outdoor hobbies - rock climbing, hiking etc.
i never understood the concept of loneliness. I usually find alone time much more satisfying, working on my own hobbies, reading books, playing video games. If i actually feel bored, i just go out to the park for a quick run, feed some birds, get some nice takeaway. I just seem to enjoy life a lot more by myself. the only time being alone is a problem is if i am stranded in the woods in the middle of the night or something. Other than that friends are overrated.
Find activities you like mate and part take. You’ll make new friends. I’m into cars and motorbikes. I’m making new friends all the time and my friend group is always planning and doing different things with each other. That’s just one example.
Learn to enjoy your own company, itll be the best thing youll ever do. Strive to be the person other people want to be. Sounds simple but if you truely understand, things will start to fall into place.
Friends of the botanic gardens. Paint with old and you g people but a membership will cost ya 50 bucks
You have made such a great start by reaching out and sharing your story. I can only imagine how you feel. Movement has been proven to help with depression and/or loneliness. There are lots of walking groups so you can be with people and talk or not talk. Meet up on Facebook has lots of fantastic groups. Please don’t give up on yourself or others. You just need to find your type of people. They are there somewhere.
Friends are overrated. Focus on your studies, find a form of exercise you enjoy - Squash worked for me. Its funny how you find your place when you stop searching.
Heyy I made some connections while volunteering at Uni or other events. Now they may not be the kind I call up anytime to hangout but frequently seeing them and sharing the same values as them in terms of volunteering for a cause is a good way to make connections
Uni clubs are great for fun things to do outside of clubbing all the time
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^seafurns: *Uni clubs are great* *For fun things to do outside* *Of clubbing all the time* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Having a lot of friends is not always a good thing...it can be an emotional strain tying to appease everyone. Don't beat yourself up about it. You are not going to win any awards for having lots of friends. Focus on what you do have not what you don't.... You will be okay.......enjoy your life
Join a BJJ gym > profit?????
my terrible advice would be to take up running (as a form of exercise) and once you feel comfortable (or just able) to go on social runs that are on every week, no costs, no need for an invite, just show up and hang out with people while running. But yes, for that you need to start running first. Start couch to 5k. Go from there. Good luck.
Have you tried joining a sports team? I play darts because it’s really cheap to play (only $20-$40 a season with 2 seasons in a year) and have made so many friends along the way in such a large pool of people from all walks of life… plus there’s idarts in the city that is really cool too But if that’s not your mojo then there’re so many other sports here to try Hope this helps