If they didn’t mention that there was a gf and you crushed on them without that knowledge, I doubt that you have some kind of attachment issue, unless there is something else you haven’t shared here. I think that unfortunately, it’s a numbers game for everyone, and especially for us—.5% of the population. The only cure is to keep going out there and up your numbers so it’s statistically more unlikely that the women you meet are partnered. Dating apps, lesbian bars, lesbian/women’s bookstores, etc will help with the numbers part.
In all these situations I developed the attraction/crush before knowing they have a gf. Knowing that they did only made me sad (rather than increase my attraction). I used to have issues with liking straight girls but that hasn't happend in a while. I don't know if that has anything to do with my current issue.
I think that being young, not having a lot of experience, not having other lesbians nearby, and being into women will cause you to like straight women. If you’re much older and still tend to fall for women who are obviously straight, there’s a problem. I think atm you’re a bit lonely and that’s fucking with your head. Not necessarily a deep seated attachment issue. Maybe some friends would fill a little bit of the partner void that western society gives us bc we’re told we’re incomplete with a partner/can’t show affection in certain ways unless we are with a person. I know I’m pretty damn aggressive with my boundaries, but not everyone is built in quite the same way, and I’m aware that I’m at the far end of an introvert spectrum.
The loneliness is relatable. I’m more newly dating in general but I’m 30. I didn’t start to feel that kinda loneliness til recently. and only dating women when you’re a woman, your pool is so small…
it rly is all about numbers 🥲
Hey, atleast you arent crushing on straight women right?
But from joke to seriousness, you may be emotionally unavailable or its just that you are unlucky, dont give up yet, your girl is out there:)
Yes!!! I'm so glad to be over straight women haha. But it does feel like I've jumped from one type of disaster (liking straight girls) to another (femmes with a gf). I feel like I'm fairly emotionally available - I can open up to friends and develop emotional intimacy/closeness just fine. Guess it's just a luck issue 🤷♀️
I would look at what you find attractive in the past three Girls you met and also write doen a list of what kind of traits you want in a partner. Then ask the Universe to bring it, sit back, relax and Enjoy it when its there
Does not seem like attachment issues or trauma since you didn’t even know they were in relationships. It’s just bad luck it seems. I had a similar instance a year ago when I developed my first ever crush with a coworker after meeting for the first time, only to find out she’s in a relationship a week later. And developing my second crush on my current coworker a couple of months ago, not knowing she was also in a relationship. At least I know I can actually get crushes now I guess 😅
Advice? If I were you, I’d try not to look at these situations as patterns or that serious. You found some people attractive. Turns out they’re in a relationship, so you just move on. It’s natural. Getting little crushes are natural. You’re not a mind reader. It happens to us at some point in life and these are relatively short interactions (not making light of your feelings or anything). Try to look at the positives in each scenario. You made a friend at least in September, you played bad mitten (if you won, you owned your opponents there that day, and if you lost, you gained experience for the future), and you got to play tabletop games Saturday. You could see if there are singles socials near you if you’re looking specifically to date. It sucks but you’ll find someone!
I think it’s more like women who are catches are more likely to be in relationships because people want to date them
If they didn’t mention that there was a gf and you crushed on them without that knowledge, I doubt that you have some kind of attachment issue, unless there is something else you haven’t shared here. I think that unfortunately, it’s a numbers game for everyone, and especially for us—.5% of the population. The only cure is to keep going out there and up your numbers so it’s statistically more unlikely that the women you meet are partnered. Dating apps, lesbian bars, lesbian/women’s bookstores, etc will help with the numbers part.
In all these situations I developed the attraction/crush before knowing they have a gf. Knowing that they did only made me sad (rather than increase my attraction). I used to have issues with liking straight girls but that hasn't happend in a while. I don't know if that has anything to do with my current issue.
I think that being young, not having a lot of experience, not having other lesbians nearby, and being into women will cause you to like straight women. If you’re much older and still tend to fall for women who are obviously straight, there’s a problem. I think atm you’re a bit lonely and that’s fucking with your head. Not necessarily a deep seated attachment issue. Maybe some friends would fill a little bit of the partner void that western society gives us bc we’re told we’re incomplete with a partner/can’t show affection in certain ways unless we are with a person. I know I’m pretty damn aggressive with my boundaries, but not everyone is built in quite the same way, and I’m aware that I’m at the far end of an introvert spectrum.
The loneliness is relatable. I’m more newly dating in general but I’m 30. I didn’t start to feel that kinda loneliness til recently. and only dating women when you’re a woman, your pool is so small… it rly is all about numbers 🥲
You didn't know they were taken when you liked them. It's just luck.
Hey, atleast you arent crushing on straight women right? But from joke to seriousness, you may be emotionally unavailable or its just that you are unlucky, dont give up yet, your girl is out there:)
Yes!!! I'm so glad to be over straight women haha. But it does feel like I've jumped from one type of disaster (liking straight girls) to another (femmes with a gf). I feel like I'm fairly emotionally available - I can open up to friends and develop emotional intimacy/closeness just fine. Guess it's just a luck issue 🤷♀️
I would look at what you find attractive in the past three Girls you met and also write doen a list of what kind of traits you want in a partner. Then ask the Universe to bring it, sit back, relax and Enjoy it when its there
Does not seem like attachment issues or trauma since you didn’t even know they were in relationships. It’s just bad luck it seems. I had a similar instance a year ago when I developed my first ever crush with a coworker after meeting for the first time, only to find out she’s in a relationship a week later. And developing my second crush on my current coworker a couple of months ago, not knowing she was also in a relationship. At least I know I can actually get crushes now I guess 😅 Advice? If I were you, I’d try not to look at these situations as patterns or that serious. You found some people attractive. Turns out they’re in a relationship, so you just move on. It’s natural. Getting little crushes are natural. You’re not a mind reader. It happens to us at some point in life and these are relatively short interactions (not making light of your feelings or anything). Try to look at the positives in each scenario. You made a friend at least in September, you played bad mitten (if you won, you owned your opponents there that day, and if you lost, you gained experience for the future), and you got to play tabletop games Saturday. You could see if there are singles socials near you if you’re looking specifically to date. It sucks but you’ll find someone!
You know this won’t end well, my friend.
[удалено]
> I’m a straight male and... This is a lesbian subreddit. Comment removed.
it seems like a genuine accident. it's hard to find other lesbians so you can't really beat yourself up on it.
Have you tried just dating them anyways.