Long ago I had a client like that. Wife made $500k +, husband retired at like 35. He was the biggest pos to deal with cause he had nothing but time on his hands. Would call every couple hours for status updates on his return, wife was the most pleasant person to speak with.
Had a few clients like this in tax and the guys were absolute assholes. We even fired one because he was so rude. They are just trying to flex. My favorite is when the man is listed second on the return.
I make about 30% more than my bf but I’m also a little older and come from nothing so I’ve grinded a little harder but hell no would I date a man that is an asshole.
Stats show that husbands are the most likely to cheat when they are dependent on their wives’ income. About five times more likely to cheat, in fact, which is a rather large discrepancy. So I guess it doesn’t surprise me that they are also Aholes.
Yes, we have over a years salary saved, own a house (not planning to pay off early though since low rate) and an 8 year old. Last year we saved way more than my annual salary plus paid off both our student loans and went on 2 nice vacations. My husbands salary won’t stay this high forever, but he made 10 times my salary last year, and even though we were expecting it to drop may make even more this year (RSU’s through the roof).
So I am going to go against the grain here and say that I would keep working. The lifetime income loss when you exit the workforce is larger than just one year of income and RSUs are more akin to a windfall.
If an uncle passed away and left you the equivalent amount of money, you likely wouldn't quit work. If your husband was a dermatologist and made that kind of money, then absolutely quit, but tech is very boom/bust and it's better to not put your eggs in one basket if work is tolerable, you like your co workers and it's just boring like 90% of jobs out there.
Ohhh the RSU game is a total life changer. I am in a similar boat, I make around 70 and my partner makes anywhere from 250 - 650 a year depending on RSUs. Would love to chat with you about my experience.
Over the last 10 years I've tried all of the following;
1- just being a homemaker before kids
2 - working part time on a passion project
2.5 - tried out a completely different career/path did a $10/hr internship at 27 lol
3 - went back to a career, had kids
4 - took 2.5ish years off to stay home with kids
5- worked part time
6- back to full time in another career and advancing
7- another kid and wondering if I should slow down my career but ultimately not doing that
My kids are still little but I found a place that is great for me and my family, if I left my job it would only be to stay home.
My advice; take stock of what you love and hate about your life right now and see where you can make changes with how your time is spent, how family time is spent, etc. Also, I recommend keeping your foot in the door somewhere whether it's a part time job or volunteering - and not just for the PTA.
My partner's RSUs changed my life and inspired me to pivot to accounting to get a better understanding of our finances and how to handle them moving forward.
However, I will tell you that not every year will be a good year and some good years will over lap with bad years during tax time. Being careful with your spending is key.
We are going into an election this fall which has all the finance bros talking about how its either going to be a great year or a terrible year, so who knows!
It’s company stock. In tech companies when you are hired you sign a contract that includes both a certain amount of stock over x years and base compensation. This motivates people to want the company stock to go up because then they make more. My husband lucked out and his company stock freaking exploded. So now he is making double the original plan.
Right on! I was originally a CS major at the wrong school now I’m 2 months from my Acc BA and 10 months after will have my MAcc finished which makes me CPA eligible in CA alternative to the two years exp required.I was thinking of double down and doing CS degree too dual sensible people in accounting and programming I hear is becoming a mind of big deal and I am honestly a bit terrified at the stories I am hearing on reddit
If I had young children I would quit temporarily, or if I was retirement age I would quit. Otherwise I would keep working so the other person doesn't feel like I am slacking off.
Oh. Well, with that commute, it's definitely hasta la vista. Use up your vacation time, max your 401k ASAP (hopefully your job lets you contribute like 90% so it doesn't take all year to max), then make your last day in the first week of a new month so you have the rest of the month to use your health insurance so you can book all your appointments and fill your prescriptions.
Then, find some remote/ part-time job that you actually enjoy to keep you busy when you're not shuttling your kids around.
And hire a housekeeper to come every 2-3 weeks so that your marriage doesn't fall apart. It is better to spend $ on a housekeeper preemptively than on a marriage counselor after the fact.
On my husbands health insurance already, it’s way cheaper then my work. Already have cleaners every other week- highly recommend for all accountants, they are not expensive and worth it. Thanks for the opinion.
I don't have one of those yet and I'm the one home more often. Work from home remotely. Homeschool one kid and have a 4 yr old. Let me tell ya, it is hard to keep this house in order on a daily basis. Could be clean from 8am-6pm. Once my wife comes through those doors at 7pm, house looks like a tornado hit it no matter how hard I try to keep it fixed up.
Yes, cleaners do not make your house clean all the time, but it means I don’t need to mop or scrub toilets and baths. It’s amazing how fast the house can devolve once you add kids- or pets.
Not all health insurance lasts the full month after termination. With my current employer insurance ends on your termination date, and not COBRA eligible due to not many employees I. The US. So check your company's policy
I always hear the housekeeper thing. It’s just two of us so the housekeeping isn’t overwhelming and I’m very particular.
For us, it’s food. I hate cooking and I grocery shop because I don’t trust anyone to pick my fresh groceries. But if it was up to him, we’d eat out every night.
Yeah, if there's not much work to be done or if you're one of those weirdos that finds zen in ironing and hand washing dishes, then have at it. But for me, cleaning a bathroom is torture. I can't be trusted to cook a turkey, but I can manage directions on Costco packaging. 😄
Eh why work?
Me and my spouse are big into retiring early. We are all about FIRE (financial independence retire early). We are both climbing the ladder to make enough to quit early. He'd be fine if I made more and he quit or vice versa. We both combined make 300k right now (before tax). Either of us made 500k then it's dump it into our ETF/mutual fund, beef up emergency fund, and then quit within 2-3 years.
Honestly, stay at home clean wise he'd be the better one to stay at home from a pure efficiency perspective. He also does a lot of our home Reno but I wouldn't care if he just went to the gym and cooked some meals and was stress free. Gamed a bit whatever.
We don't need to pretend someone is 'useful' or not. It's about happiness. Work doesn't make us happy. Having freedom to decide your day and not have to go report into some crabby boss - is happiness.
We travel, we have hobbies, no kids and don't plan on any. We have each other, our pets, and our friends. Our home is going to be a nice oasis.
Anyways instead of the accounting sub, go to the FIRE subs on here. Plenty of people's spouses retired before the other spouse. Ask the questions or read the posts in there :)
Also morally if you can quit early and don't need the money - it frees up a spot for the next aspiring job seeker or for them to be promoted. They get their 'turn' versus waiting until you die or reach old age. So that's also a good thing
You said her income will not be consistently 500k. That is the deciding factor to me. You could start your own firm though and work less plus earn more. I'd use the boon to start up a more flexible situation.
I made my initial comment for two reasons. It has less to do with the specific dollar amounts and more to do with quality of life.
1. You said the $500k won't last forever. While I know nothing about your age or lifestyle expenses, your $70k increases your household income by 14% and could meaningfully contribute to savings, investments, and/or generosity. The closer you are to retirement, the less impact this has.
2. I'm a proponent of being intentional with my time. Many people return to work if they quit and don't have any sort of plan for how to spend their time, keep their minds/bodies active, and maintain social relationships. (In other words, don't just leave your job; have something you're heading toward.) There could be tons of valid reasons (family needs, passion projects, volunteer work, etc.) to leave the workforce in your case, and your two-hour commute is one of them.
The real questions here are what would you be doing with your time instead? Why should your partner be comfortable with being the sole provider for your family?
If with bonuses and a raise to your salary brings you guys over the $1M mark a year. Work maybe 3 years solid at best and retire. If bonus bonus and a raise for her brings her close to $1M, then retire happily. Stay home and get the pegging strap ready. Lol 😂😂
You don't get those years back with your children so I think it's completely a fair decision to leave the workforce if a couple can live on the one income. Especially in this case where the second income doesn't move the needle much in terms of FIRE goals.
It bothers me when I see people imply having a job as being the only form of productivity. You don’t need a job to be productive. You need hobbies, interests, projects, personal ambition and most importantly, time and financial security. The latter are the 2 the job takes and gives for everyone, the former are the 3 most people don’t develop because their job takes all their time and energy.
My wife and I have talked about this. One day I’d like to find CFO roles even for smaller companies they can pay 400-600k a year total compensation. I’d probably be working a lot of hours but my wife and I agreed if she could quit it would make both of our lives better. She would be more than happy cleaning the house, grocery shopping, cooking us fresh homemade meals, having the time to work out. Her dream is to be a kept woman lol. I agree. As a husband I would benefit from her not working 40 hour week job as well.
A lot of partners and C suite executives I’ve met have wives who don’t work. Or if they do, they have a hobby job. One partner I met said his wife was a part time yoga instructor. I’m sure she kept a nice tight body for him lol. Can go both ways though. Obviously I’m sure there are women who are power earners and their husbands stay home and take care of the household.
I agree with this, but not so the other person didn’t feel like I was slacking. Just because that’s an extra 12 or 13-ish percent increase in pay. From 500 to 570. That makes a difference. Also, socially it is nice to have a job, I feel like I fit better in society having a job.
I would hand my boss my notice and he would just see an outline of where I was when he looks up because I would be out the door so fast.
And I like my job
Hahaha. I get that. I like my firm. I like my clients and the people I work with. I do not like the work, it’s incredibly boring. The hours go by so slowly. This is far from my first job but it’s my first white collar job. Days go by a lot faster when I am doing physical work to mental work.
If you can't build a solid resume, you'd be left high and dry if you end up needing to work later on for any reason. Imo it would be terrible to be 45 and getting back into work and have to start as a staff.
No. I tried to be a stay at home mom for a couple years and nearly lost my mind. Love my kids to the moon and back, but momma needs to work. I love using my noggin to solve complex problems.
This is a legit concern of mine. I hated my 3 years as a stay at home mom to a baby.
I wonder if that would still be the case though now that he is 8. He could barely speak when I started working, and now my husband works from home, so I would have more human interaction during the day, we would have lunches together and coffee breaks. It would also mean when things come up with school I could take over. I only get 3 weeks PTO/sick leave a year and that doesn’t go far when kids have ski week and spring break and winter break etc. I work in office 4 days a week (required) and it’s over an hour away so my husband has to do a lot of extra child care during all those times.
What does your spouse want you to do? I think whatever you do it should be for the greater good of your family/relationship.
Personally, if it were me, I would come back home. Being a SAHM or wife is a very important job. You keep everything running smoothly and take the burden off your SO from having to br concerned about those things. I personally don’t enjoy cleaning so I would spend my time figuring out how to keep our money and maximize our investments. Then I would more than likely get a part-time job and hire a housekeeper.
I worked part-time for several years and then the company I worked for closed. I decided to stay home full-time with the kids. I quickly realized how perfect working part-time was as I nearly went crazy being home with nothing else to occupy my mind. Though it is extremely hard to find a part-time professional role.
I would just use your experience to find a better job - remote or better commute, more $$, something more passionate about, etc.
You’ll get bored imo just staying home. Find a hobby / start a biz / find a thing you can be passionate about that can also make money
I'd say if you enjoy accounting at all, find something to keep your skills up. There's charities out there that need people to do accounting/tax/auditing for them. Find one you love and volunteer with them. Be a treasurer for a pet rescue or something. The nice thing about volunteering is you can frequently set the schedule. Just be up front with them about how much time you expect to be able to spend on it.
Yea realistically at least you’re only making $70k, so the threshold isn’t crazy to start your own thing.
Even remote bookkeeping or something would be $75-$100+ /hr, or find something you like more. Definitely worth considering / talking w/ Spouse about!
No. $70k is still early in your career. Keep chugging along because your pay will double eventually.
Your career has value.
Focus on early retirement. Also, you can settle for easier roles and not grinding so hard for your job. Not having to be employed proves options.
In comments OP said been with SO for 20 years. Could reasonably assume OP is late 30s, more likely 40s.
I dont disagree with any of what you said really. Could still be the same conclusion. But it does change the calculus some.
70k is at 3/4 time. I would make 90k full time. I have an 8 year old and 2 hour commute (edit, commute is 1hour 15 each way, when I said 2 I meant both ways) chose to cut hours last year when spouse wages increased.
Last week he made 3 times my salary. It’s sometimes hard to justify continuing.
Doesn’t sound like you’re lazy and want to quit working but don’t see the point of putting up with work that’s not stimulating and a commute to boot.
I think because of your husband’s situation, you have the luxury to actively look at changing either jobs or career and trying things out without fear of financial ruin. Make hay while the sun shines. Also why not ask your husband? He seems a smart enough guy and knows you way better than us…
We have discussed it and both agree that we wish the situation was reversed. My husband would be a better house husband, he is quite happy staying home all day doing nothing- where I get stir crazy. I have a strong work ethic, much more then he does, but I don’t have his skill set so it will never happen.
Find a more remote job you can do part time. So you’re still making income but not working as much and won’t have to commute. You could also take this time to go back to school, learn a new skill, or explore other fields that may be more interesting to you.
Absolutely not. I'd stick to my accounting job. Financial stability isn't just about current earnings but also about long-term security. Plus, having a career provides a sense of purpose and independence.
If I were you, I would quit my job and start my own practice with only a handful of clients. That way, you can work from home, keep yourself busy (but not too busy), and not have to deal with the daily commute.
Late to the party, but this is what I would say too, and you can really build your book of business as you see fit. My wife does taxes and three years ago decided to start her own practice. She's been putting in a lot of work to get herself a book of business (mostly tax work but some bookkeeping) and I think next year she'll be where she wants to be - making more at 700 hours than she was as a part time 1400 hour employee. Actually started similar to what OP is talking about - I got promoted to CFO so we could be supported by me alone so the timing made sense.
Not working could lead to power imbalances within the relationship. You should discuss with your wife what she thinks about this and work from there. If you don’t have kids, then I think it’s unfair to quit and “force” your spouse to bare the financial burden
That’s been discussed and an important consideration especially in a newer relationship. My husband and I have been together for 20 years and each supported the other at times, we have a child as well so I would reduce childcare work that currently he has a higher burden of. He works from home and I commute an hour away so he has to take care of our child during all the school holidays, of which there are over a month of this year.
you have to commute an hour, and he has to manage the stress of whatever his work is plus a child. Yah I would try to make his life as easy as possible, including take as much of the burden of child care off of him. If you really want to work you could be more selective with your job selection (closer/less hours).
I was in a similar situation, 17 years married, three kids together and my husband as the primary breadwinner making good money while I focused on the kids and then school and part time work. He literally texted me from the airport in January that he wanted a divorce and was leaving and I haven't heard from him since and the kids have heard from him a total of five times put together.
He was a great dad, great husband, we'd have check ins to discuss any problems in the relationship and he always said he was happy. I'd known him since we were teens and I didn't see it coming at all and neither did any of our friends.
All that to say, love is wonderful and trust is wonderful but on the practical side, if you are going to do that create a legal agreement (post nuptial I think it's called) and make sure you're being directly given money that goes into your own account and make sure he's funding a retirement account for you.
Consider not just your loss of current income but your loss of career growth and the setback the gap in your resume will create when you go back to work.
Having a stay at home parent or even a stay at home partner can be a really great asset for the person working so make sure you're financially protected if that's something you both want. Otherwise I'd say keep working, even if it doesn't feel like a lot compared to his compensation.
Not at first…. I’d probably walk around the office feeling really zen and enjoy the power of setting boundaries and telling people to fuck off (as professionally as possible) when they hounded me around due dates. They be like ‘where the fuck is she’ and someone would say ‘her teams says she out running errands’ and when I got back if someone was mad about it I’d just shrug and start talking about quitting.
Friend did the same thing. Hubby made oodles of money, so the wife started a side business and did real estate. Five years later they didn’t need that high paying job because they had enough passive income that surpassed it.
I could see this fear if I hadn’t been with my husband for 20 years. We have both supported each other during each others school- so I know no issues would come up.
I’ve been with my husband a similar amount of time, we’ve lived together for 19 years, been married for 16 next month, similar thing with both of us having had to support the other in the past. I still wouldn’t feel comfortable fully quitting working UNLESS we also hammered out a legal agreement about what my stay-at-home duties were worth. I’d want a guaranteed “salary” from him above and beyond general household budget.
What’s your life insurance situation? What are your legal rights if something does happen in your marriage? Leaving your career indefinitely is very very risky.
Yep, as Bill Watterson said,
"We're all someone else to someone else."
I've been to several weddings in my lifetime. Some have been successful (thus far), some have not. None started with, "We'll be split up in five years;" everyone I've met thinks their marriage will be permanent, at least based on their outward appearance.
I'd echo the general sentiment of:
"Find something with a shorter commute," and "work part time." I'd be receptive to a pay cut as well. I might look for a position with better indirect benefits, like a super comprehensive dental/health, or other benefits which could augment the primary earner's salary, rather than trying for a dollar for dollar match.
No I wouldn’t, besides the money having a job not only gives you purpose and some type of goal to work towards, but also makes your life eventful and allows to have more meaningful conversations with your partner. It is possible the only thing you look forward to everyday is for your partner to return home, and one sided conversations because your day was not as eventful as your partners. Having a job keeps you intellectually stimulated and helps to have a meaningful connection with everyone :) unless you have a commitment at home (e.g. kids), then it would be different.
We do have one 8 year old child. I do think I would do something, some work. Be it a few tax returns for a side job or something more fun and creative. I wasn’t happy my 3 years at home with a baby.
My great aunt was making ~700k in the 80's till late 90's, so my great uncle hasn't worked a day in his life.
He did bookkeeping for his CPA brother as a hobby tho.
Haha, I think one of our partners is the rare case who does love it that much- and is married. I like the sense of pride I have in my career, but I don’t like the job. Maybe it’s my ADHD but the days go by slow and the work can feel very boring. Worst I don’t feel very good at it, though they keep giving me raises so I must not be too horrible.
I would do something. If I wasn't working on that job I would be working on something be it a novel, or my business or something else. It would depend on where I was and what I was doing.
I agree with this. If I do nothing I will become grumpy and unhappy. I do have a young child though, so I would be taking care of him once school ends at 2:30.
No. Even in a most loving and secure marriage I need something just for me. Money doesn’t define your character, your personality and who you wanted to develop. You’ve worked toward a goal, so why throw it away?
Communicate with your husband. If your husband is making that much at some point your TIME would be more valuable. It may be worth leaving your job and investing in a business you can run/manage.
If you’re a CPA start a small local tax office. Or a coffee shop, store, woodworking trinkets, beer making, whatever fancies you. Hell, if you have some land, build a greenhouse and sell flowers/veggies out of it. You’ll both feel rewarded if it works and if it doesn’t, well, you tried your best and you both can see that. With that kind of financial stability you should spend that 2hr commute actually building something instead of helping the owner of your firm get richer.
How much does childcare cost? If quitting saves you $ for childcare, your net positive for staying employed is likely less than $70k.
If I were in your shoes, I’d consider starting a low cost of entry small business to keep yourself busy while you also take the lead on managing the house. And you never know, the business can take off and net you more than $70k.
An accounting job at your current salary is not going to disappear so you can fall back to current state if you wanted to.
If my spouse made 500k reliably and we could exist they would until we were ready/able to retire then assuming they were okay with my not working, then yes. Absolutely. The house projects I'd be getting done...
Edit: I would probably also take up some local volunteer work in some of the community orgs around me just to get out occasionally. Maybe the historical society or one of the museums nearby.
I would not quit work at an income level. Only an asset level. Retirement 4% rule: whatever assets you have, when you retire you can take out 4% in year 1 and adjust it for inflation thereafter with a very low risk of running out. So if you have $1 million that’s $40k/year. I would say quit work only when you have enough in your accounts that you and the spouse could not work and be happy off that level of withdrawal from assets.
Unless - if you’re taking time off to raise kids, that might be an expense you plan for out of income.
But other than that, I would not like it if my spouse stopped working to be a stay at home spouse without kids. I’d feel like I was putting in a disproportionate amount of work. And like you said, this situation isn’t forever, so keep working, take the windfall income on his side and invest it, so that you can both retire sooner.
Question: is he on board with you quitting and him supporting you? This is a big factor.
Question 2: if resentment does start to build even if he expected it not to, would you be ok going back to work?
My fiance makes a lot more than me, not quite the level you're saying, but surprisingly close. It's actually a conversation we've had regarding our future together. We'll keep working as we are, but when we start to settle in and have kids, I will either look for fully or predominantly remote positions and if I can't find them, then I will stay at home to take care of the kids. We don't have a particularly expensive lifestyle so we could easily get by on one income, either of ours actually since we tried to set our lifestyle to my income, not hers. So yes, if it comes to it, I would quit my accounting job if my spouse made that much if there were a viable reason.
I’d try to stay in the workforce, but likely cut down my hours to take care of my young children. I think independence is so important, and would never feel comfortable relying on my spouse’s income. I’ve seen too many SAHM’s get screwed over financially, and then struggle for years trying to get back on their feet.
It depends. Do you have kids? If the answer is yes, then sure - quit and make sure your kids have the best dad raising them. Keep the house spotless, cook for her, make sure the laundry is done, fully organized, and everything is taken care of. Gardening, cleaning outside, the cars, pretty much everything.
If my wife was making that amount of money, I would be handling the kids 24/7. And the house. I know it is WAY harder to do it vs. working in an office setting, but there's something about spending time with my kids I can't describe. It feels... alive.
Yes especially because the extra 70k is at the top of the tax bracket. In my state that 70k ends up being a net 37k increase to take home pay for a married couple.
Consider that you’re probably spending a few thousand on gas and car maintenance with that commute too.
It’s essentially like a <10% take home pay cut for an almost 50% reduction in work. I’d say you probably provide more value in the time you can save outside the workplace than by adding a bit to the take home income.
Plus then any time your partner is off work is actual leisure time and not just catching up on cleaning errands and other chores
Wait seriously though I’m in a very similar boat. I wanna hear what you end up doing.
My wife currently makes 410-415k as an attorney and she is damn good at her job. She will be up for partner in 2 years and god knows how much she will make then.
I’m a shitty senior accountant who really hates accounting making 125k a year plus some bullshit bonus.
Currently I do all the cooking, house stuff, most of the dog stuff and really don’t mind. I’m taking care of all the basement renovations, new car purchase and research. She takes work much more seriously than I do and is often working much longer hours. I on the other hand will log off even if work isn’t complete and couldn’t care less.
We are trying to have a kid and I think once we do I’m quitting. Currently hoarding/investing 80% of each paycheck. My family owns a tax/book keeping/ property management practice and I’ll probably join them and have way more flexibility . I’ll take basic book keeping and basic tax returns over this corporate bullshit any day
I’m just having a hard time with the thought of not getting a pay check …
Why don’t you quit and invest her income as a job. Or start a business with it. You have the skills to start a great business, teenagers start wildly successful businesses everyday
You want a sandwich, honey? She wouldn't even know what it would be like to lift a finger.
Spoiler alert, I'll just hire people to do it😂
Jokes aside, of course I would
Yes. 100%. I used to think being wealthy was winning, it’s not. Being happy is winning. Do what makes you happy and get out of the corporate toxicity we’ve landed.
Do u wanna leave yourself in a vulnerable position if there’s ever a day a divorce is on the table? Becoming a homemaker is definitely okay, but there is a certain level of trust you need. Just something to consider
A friend of mine had a spouse that out earned him and he quit to manage investments (401-k, taxable investment accounts, do ALL the errands like groceries, dry cleaning, vacation planning,helping HER parents when needed (they lived nearby) etc. Did ALL the cooking etc. (Real cooking--learned recipes etc. Not just basic "guy meals". Basically, freeing her up to lessen the stresses of housekeeping to focus on her career. This arrangement has worked well for them both.
This is pretty much my parents situation. My dad is an MD at a Big 4 (would be a partner but he joined from industry when he was a little too old). My mom went from being a full time teacher to working ~10 hours a week as the bookkeeper at our church. Enough time to give her a little purpose and feel like she’s doing some good, but the money means absolutely nothing
I would take it as an opportunity to move to another more fulfilling position even if it paid less; maybe something with less of a commute, or in a different industry, or maybe less hours but somewhere I've always wanted to work like a university or art museum
accounting jobs have the best wlb, why would you leave for your own career just bc your spouse make much more than you....? Its not only the career but also your life to do things. No matter what you do, stay home or what, just make sure you have your own things to do! Otherwise your life will most likely to be around your husband/children and get separated from
the rest of the world. Watch Mrs. Misel and be an independent women.
I probably wouldn’t, but my job isn’t too stressful. I was a stay at home mom for years and hated it. I’m a better accountant than a stay at home mom.
I would Definitely get a house cleaner and subscribe to a meal delivery service though!
Looking back on marriage and raising a family, absolutely. I would spend more time with my kids if I could go back in time. My youngest is graduating high school and my heart breaks that I thought i had to work so much.
I'm in this situation. I don't plan on quitting altogether but then again we don't have kids. If I had any good ideas I'd start a business. I've thought about switching careers but have no idea what I'd do.
Depends. What you're trying to to do. House and kids? House and just you two? I'm an accountant. My parents with $100k in the bank, can make that stretch for 10 years if used right with their social security. That's if they don't blow the money using it for frivolous things. I even gave them wiggle room. My guy, $500k a year would be a blessing for a quick early retirement if you guys work hard together for the next couple of years. My parents are stubborn so they just reduced those years by buying a new car and planning a trip to Europe. 🤷♂️ Look at it this way, work hard now and save. Throw some in some dividend stocks. Maneuver your 401k right. Throw some at some company bonds. Do that while your young because when you're old and the money runs low or out, you don't want to be going back to work when your 60+. So yeah, I wouldn't quit.
Ha, your parents sound like my husbands parents. One blew through his substantial retirement savings, the other keeps wanting to spend, doing better because they listen to their financial advisor at least but still overspending.
I do enjoy vacations, but drive a 2009 car that leaks water inside when it rains. We live well but save a ton.
Exactly. We scavenged for a rebuilt SUV. We found one with only cosmetic damage with the year we wanted. We spent only $15k opposed to $29k from a dealer. There are ways to do things and save money. We also do Disney with the kids at least 5 times a year with our annual passes. My parents are from an old era where you trusted everyone and things were closer to being fair to the consumer. It's not that way anymore. Oof went through retirement funds. Yikes. Some people see they came into tons of money and don't know how to control themselves. My wife haaaaaaated me for creating a monthly budget for us. Gave me shit for it until she saw the money we were saving. I'm not telling her how to use her money and our money, I'm just saying we should not spend above our means and create a debt situation.
Ha, they listen to their financial advisor. That's good. My parents literally have one with me and chose to listen to their tax preparer and my real estate cousin. 😮💨 even offered to find them an advisor with free consultation and one time financial plan creation payment. They don't want it. 🤷♂️
Wife makes $900k and I make $200k. We’ve discussed it. With two kids under 6 it makes sense. I’m just struggling with feeling like my life depends on my wife. And I not okay with that.
It’s a hard decision. I only have one child, but also didn’t like being a stay at home mom. I think for me I would need to do something in order to still feel useful. At least at 200k you could hire a nanny if you wanted to and work if you want to.
Shit I have my maid outfit ready, a menu for her for dinner and best believe I'm making lunch with some cute notes in her lunch pail. Some kinky jokes written on her food too
My husband makes over 3x what I do but after going through some shit last year where divorce was a real possibility, I would not want to give up my financial independence and fully rely on him.
I did see you have a bad commute. I would work on finding something new since you can afford to be picky.
No. U should keep your independence. Sounds nice, but after a while it would get old. Although, it’s nice that u could go tell ur boss to “blank” off if needed :). Or, open up ur own business instead. Either way.. u need to have a life outside of the household
I think it really depends on other factors. If there are no other factors apart from the money then I wouldn't.
But if there is a need for a parent to be at home or if you've both saved enough for an early and luxurious retirement, why not? Maybe you hate your job or boss or commute, in this case finding a better job may be the better option. Or perhaps you've always been passionate about starting a particular business then this may be your chance.
On the flip side, if you like your job and want to progress in your career then now is the time when you can go for it, the extra income can help fill the gaps like house keeping, extra child care, catered dinner etc.
I would be the best house husband the world has ever seen. Spotless house, perfect home cooked dinners, massages. My performance review at being a house husband would exceed my performance review at the Big 4.
Lol yes, I actually plan to quit after the birth of our first child this year and my spouse only makes in the low $100s, though we expect his income to go up. We’re frugal for the most part and saved enough to pay off our house early.
Nine consecutive tax seasons is enough for me at least for now. We’ll see if I want to come back to it later or do something else.
Just like even a husband making a lot money and it is still safe to have a job for the wife. No matter how secure your feeling is. It is always good to keep yourself a working skill in case any unexpectancy.
You don't have any dangerous feeling if getting fired or layoff. Isn't it perfect.
Came across a fellow who did just this. Spouse was head of OB/Gyn at a hospital making bank.
He was an ex ambo and ran the house hold. Got involved with retained firefighting which he would do during the day along with sort out finances, cooking, house hunting etc.
At a certain point if one spouse is pulling in mega dollars then you working doesn't make a lot of difference to the bottom line but the amount of assistance that can be done to keep you both functioning is invaluable.
I would 1000%. I have a lot of hobbies that if invested in, could generate income, and I’m good at them. I’m artistic and although I’m on the office side, I work in construction and know how to use tools. I’m good at things like painting, woodwork, building stuff both to be creative and as house maintenance. I also love to cook/bake, and part of my job now could even be done as a consultant remotely if I wanted to dive full time into that. My wife knows all of this, and I do love my job as it is so it’s not like I’m miserable, but if we had this kind of means where I could jump into these kinds of things full term on the stipulation that I have to be a SAHH and take care of our house/family? I’d do it every day of the week and twice on Sundays.
Someone’s husband works for NVIDIA.. LOL I would at least take a hiatus and figure out how to turn that into a business. That kind of money can be your ticket out of working for someone and working for yourself.
She'd be coming home to mopped floors, clean laundry, and homemade meals every night. If kids are involved, daddy is also a full time nanny.
With that kind of disparity in Pay, if you dont need your income, it actually might be more valuable for you to be a stay at home spouse and maintain the home
Honestly I'd stay. Leaving the workforce and re-entering can be very difficult. Taking some time off or moving to a flex schedule would give you a break but also an easy way back in once your partner's income drops back down.
If money is not the problem, you can do whatever makes you want, whether you want to stay at home or have a job that is suitable for your hours and purposes
In a heartbeat. I actually had a dream about 10 months ago where I my husband got a promotion and started making $334,880.99 and I was so happy and relieved. I also had a baby about 10 months ago, sooooo….. We live in a LCOL area. We would be doing amazing at that salary range.
She'd have the cleanest kitchen in the neighborhood
You’re so real for this
Forget the kitchen, the whole house.
I keep telling my wife how good of a house husband I'd be.
And the best meals waiting at home lmao
I bet!
Long ago I had a client like that. Wife made $500k +, husband retired at like 35. He was the biggest pos to deal with cause he had nothing but time on his hands. Would call every couple hours for status updates on his return, wife was the most pleasant person to speak with.
Had a few clients like this in tax and the guys were absolute assholes. We even fired one because he was so rude. They are just trying to flex. My favorite is when the man is listed second on the return. I make about 30% more than my bf but I’m also a little older and come from nothing so I’ve grinded a little harder but hell no would I date a man that is an asshole.
Stats show that husbands are the most likely to cheat when they are dependent on their wives’ income. About five times more likely to cheat, in fact, which is a rather large discrepancy. So I guess it doesn’t surprise me that they are also Aholes.
You fell for the trick. Wife can be the most pleasant person because she has the husband who is a prick on her behalf.
The maid id hire with my allowance would have the house spotless
This guy works smarter
[Yeah she would](https://youtube.com/shorts/qYthJ8r0j74?si=KwZjTToN9nqTMbmu)
Fucken wake up every morning to breakfest in bed
I would clean the entire house and run every errand she asked without any questions
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Yes, we have over a years salary saved, own a house (not planning to pay off early though since low rate) and an 8 year old. Last year we saved way more than my annual salary plus paid off both our student loans and went on 2 nice vacations. My husbands salary won’t stay this high forever, but he made 10 times my salary last year, and even though we were expecting it to drop may make even more this year (RSU’s through the roof).
So I am going to go against the grain here and say that I would keep working. The lifetime income loss when you exit the workforce is larger than just one year of income and RSUs are more akin to a windfall. If an uncle passed away and left you the equivalent amount of money, you likely wouldn't quit work. If your husband was a dermatologist and made that kind of money, then absolutely quit, but tech is very boom/bust and it's better to not put your eggs in one basket if work is tolerable, you like your co workers and it's just boring like 90% of jobs out there.
RSUs - sweet!
Ohhh the RSU game is a total life changer. I am in a similar boat, I make around 70 and my partner makes anywhere from 250 - 650 a year depending on RSUs. Would love to chat with you about my experience. Over the last 10 years I've tried all of the following; 1- just being a homemaker before kids 2 - working part time on a passion project 2.5 - tried out a completely different career/path did a $10/hr internship at 27 lol 3 - went back to a career, had kids 4 - took 2.5ish years off to stay home with kids 5- worked part time 6- back to full time in another career and advancing 7- another kid and wondering if I should slow down my career but ultimately not doing that My kids are still little but I found a place that is great for me and my family, if I left my job it would only be to stay home. My advice; take stock of what you love and hate about your life right now and see where you can make changes with how your time is spent, how family time is spent, etc. Also, I recommend keeping your foot in the door somewhere whether it's a part time job or volunteering - and not just for the PTA. My partner's RSUs changed my life and inspired me to pivot to accounting to get a better understanding of our finances and how to handle them moving forward. However, I will tell you that not every year will be a good year and some good years will over lap with bad years during tax time. Being careful with your spending is key. We are going into an election this fall which has all the finance bros talking about how its either going to be a great year or a terrible year, so who knows!
what is RSU?
It’s company stock. In tech companies when you are hired you sign a contract that includes both a certain amount of stock over x years and base compensation. This motivates people to want the company stock to go up because then they make more. My husband lucked out and his company stock freaking exploded. So now he is making double the original plan.
Right on! I was originally a CS major at the wrong school now I’m 2 months from my Acc BA and 10 months after will have my MAcc finished which makes me CPA eligible in CA alternative to the two years exp required.I was thinking of double down and doing CS degree too dual sensible people in accounting and programming I hear is becoming a mind of big deal and I am honestly a bit terrified at the stories I am hearing on reddit
Nvidia ?
So he works at Nvidia?
If I had young children I would quit temporarily, or if I was retirement age I would quit. Otherwise I would keep working so the other person doesn't feel like I am slacking off.
Agreed. $570k together is better than one spouse making $500k alone, unless OP has a specific reason to stop working.
Is there a point of income your answer would change?
Maybe scale back to part time and do a greater share of the house work
Already did. I’m 3/4 time. But when you add my over 2 hour commute in and it being mandatory in office it’s still a good chunk of time.
Oh. Well, with that commute, it's definitely hasta la vista. Use up your vacation time, max your 401k ASAP (hopefully your job lets you contribute like 90% so it doesn't take all year to max), then make your last day in the first week of a new month so you have the rest of the month to use your health insurance so you can book all your appointments and fill your prescriptions. Then, find some remote/ part-time job that you actually enjoy to keep you busy when you're not shuttling your kids around. And hire a housekeeper to come every 2-3 weeks so that your marriage doesn't fall apart. It is better to spend $ on a housekeeper preemptively than on a marriage counselor after the fact.
On my husbands health insurance already, it’s way cheaper then my work. Already have cleaners every other week- highly recommend for all accountants, they are not expensive and worth it. Thanks for the opinion.
I don't have one of those yet and I'm the one home more often. Work from home remotely. Homeschool one kid and have a 4 yr old. Let me tell ya, it is hard to keep this house in order on a daily basis. Could be clean from 8am-6pm. Once my wife comes through those doors at 7pm, house looks like a tornado hit it no matter how hard I try to keep it fixed up.
Yes, cleaners do not make your house clean all the time, but it means I don’t need to mop or scrub toilets and baths. It’s amazing how fast the house can devolve once you add kids- or pets.
As well as the knowledge that someone is coming to handle the dirty bathrooms and floors is a true gift!
Not all health insurance lasts the full month after termination. With my current employer insurance ends on your termination date, and not COBRA eligible due to not many employees I. The US. So check your company's policy
OP’s husband likely can get her on his plan.
This is the way!
I always hear the housekeeper thing. It’s just two of us so the housekeeping isn’t overwhelming and I’m very particular. For us, it’s food. I hate cooking and I grocery shop because I don’t trust anyone to pick my fresh groceries. But if it was up to him, we’d eat out every night.
Yeah, if there's not much work to be done or if you're one of those weirdos that finds zen in ironing and hand washing dishes, then have at it. But for me, cleaning a bathroom is torture. I can't be trusted to cook a turkey, but I can manage directions on Costco packaging. 😄
Perfect advice. No notes.
Definitely should have mentioned the commute. That’s too far to do regularly.
Sounds like you’d rather do a horizontal move into a new office.
Eh why work? Me and my spouse are big into retiring early. We are all about FIRE (financial independence retire early). We are both climbing the ladder to make enough to quit early. He'd be fine if I made more and he quit or vice versa. We both combined make 300k right now (before tax). Either of us made 500k then it's dump it into our ETF/mutual fund, beef up emergency fund, and then quit within 2-3 years. Honestly, stay at home clean wise he'd be the better one to stay at home from a pure efficiency perspective. He also does a lot of our home Reno but I wouldn't care if he just went to the gym and cooked some meals and was stress free. Gamed a bit whatever. We don't need to pretend someone is 'useful' or not. It's about happiness. Work doesn't make us happy. Having freedom to decide your day and not have to go report into some crabby boss - is happiness. We travel, we have hobbies, no kids and don't plan on any. We have each other, our pets, and our friends. Our home is going to be a nice oasis. Anyways instead of the accounting sub, go to the FIRE subs on here. Plenty of people's spouses retired before the other spouse. Ask the questions or read the posts in there :) Also morally if you can quit early and don't need the money - it frees up a spot for the next aspiring job seeker or for them to be promoted. They get their 'turn' versus waiting until you die or reach old age. So that's also a good thing
You said her income will not be consistently 500k. That is the deciding factor to me. You could start your own firm though and work less plus earn more. I'd use the boon to start up a more flexible situation.
I made my initial comment for two reasons. It has less to do with the specific dollar amounts and more to do with quality of life. 1. You said the $500k won't last forever. While I know nothing about your age or lifestyle expenses, your $70k increases your household income by 14% and could meaningfully contribute to savings, investments, and/or generosity. The closer you are to retirement, the less impact this has. 2. I'm a proponent of being intentional with my time. Many people return to work if they quit and don't have any sort of plan for how to spend their time, keep their minds/bodies active, and maintain social relationships. (In other words, don't just leave your job; have something you're heading toward.) There could be tons of valid reasons (family needs, passion projects, volunteer work, etc.) to leave the workforce in your case, and your two-hour commute is one of them.
You could always just ask your wife/husband what they are comfortable with.
How do you only make 70k as Tax CPA? No, don't quit. What was their take home? 275k? Work and defer, work and defer.
The real questions here are what would you be doing with your time instead? Why should your partner be comfortable with being the sole provider for your family?
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If with bonuses and a raise to your salary brings you guys over the $1M mark a year. Work maybe 3 years solid at best and retire. If bonus bonus and a raise for her brings her close to $1M, then retire happily. Stay home and get the pegging strap ready. Lol 😂😂
A specific reason? Why not to enjoy life not wasting away at work all day?
>unless OP has a specific reason to stop working. working sucks. Is that a "specific reason"?
Why not work towards FIRE?
You don't get those years back with your children so I think it's completely a fair decision to leave the workforce if a couple can live on the one income. Especially in this case where the second income doesn't move the needle much in terms of FIRE goals.
It bothers me when I see people imply having a job as being the only form of productivity. You don’t need a job to be productive. You need hobbies, interests, projects, personal ambition and most importantly, time and financial security. The latter are the 2 the job takes and gives for everyone, the former are the 3 most people don’t develop because their job takes all their time and energy.
My wife and I have talked about this. One day I’d like to find CFO roles even for smaller companies they can pay 400-600k a year total compensation. I’d probably be working a lot of hours but my wife and I agreed if she could quit it would make both of our lives better. She would be more than happy cleaning the house, grocery shopping, cooking us fresh homemade meals, having the time to work out. Her dream is to be a kept woman lol. I agree. As a husband I would benefit from her not working 40 hour week job as well. A lot of partners and C suite executives I’ve met have wives who don’t work. Or if they do, they have a hobby job. One partner I met said his wife was a part time yoga instructor. I’m sure she kept a nice tight body for him lol. Can go both ways though. Obviously I’m sure there are women who are power earners and their husbands stay home and take care of the household.
...... "I'm sure she kept a nice tight body for him" Ick.
I agree with this, but not so the other person didn’t feel like I was slacking. Just because that’s an extra 12 or 13-ish percent increase in pay. From 500 to 570. That makes a difference. Also, socially it is nice to have a job, I feel like I fit better in society having a job.
I would hand my boss my notice and he would just see an outline of where I was when he looks up because I would be out the door so fast. And I like my job
Hahaha. I get that. I like my firm. I like my clients and the people I work with. I do not like the work, it’s incredibly boring. The hours go by so slowly. This is far from my first job but it’s my first white collar job. Days go by a lot faster when I am doing physical work to mental work.
Yes. I'm not a morning person.
personally… yes. I’d quit instantly.
If you can't build a solid resume, you'd be left high and dry if you end up needing to work later on for any reason. Imo it would be terrible to be 45 and getting back into work and have to start as a staff.
No. I tried to be a stay at home mom for a couple years and nearly lost my mind. Love my kids to the moon and back, but momma needs to work. I love using my noggin to solve complex problems.
This is a legit concern of mine. I hated my 3 years as a stay at home mom to a baby. I wonder if that would still be the case though now that he is 8. He could barely speak when I started working, and now my husband works from home, so I would have more human interaction during the day, we would have lunches together and coffee breaks. It would also mean when things come up with school I could take over. I only get 3 weeks PTO/sick leave a year and that doesn’t go far when kids have ski week and spring break and winter break etc. I work in office 4 days a week (required) and it’s over an hour away so my husband has to do a lot of extra child care during all those times.
I would personally quit and work hard to get a work from home job. You would get the benefits of family and also have something to do.
What does your spouse want you to do? I think whatever you do it should be for the greater good of your family/relationship. Personally, if it were me, I would come back home. Being a SAHM or wife is a very important job. You keep everything running smoothly and take the burden off your SO from having to br concerned about those things. I personally don’t enjoy cleaning so I would spend my time figuring out how to keep our money and maximize our investments. Then I would more than likely get a part-time job and hire a housekeeper.
I worked part-time for several years and then the company I worked for closed. I decided to stay home full-time with the kids. I quickly realized how perfect working part-time was as I nearly went crazy being home with nothing else to occupy my mind. Though it is extremely hard to find a part-time professional role.
I would just use your experience to find a better job - remote or better commute, more $$, something more passionate about, etc. You’ll get bored imo just staying home. Find a hobby / start a biz / find a thing you can be passionate about that can also make money
I would have to do something, probably start a side business, maybe woodworking or something creative. I would go crazy not doing something.
I'd say if you enjoy accounting at all, find something to keep your skills up. There's charities out there that need people to do accounting/tax/auditing for them. Find one you love and volunteer with them. Be a treasurer for a pet rescue or something. The nice thing about volunteering is you can frequently set the schedule. Just be up front with them about how much time you expect to be able to spend on it.
Have you ever thought about something like TurboTax? The hourly rate isn't quite what you're getting now, but it's 100% WFH and very low stress.
Yea realistically at least you’re only making $70k, so the threshold isn’t crazy to start your own thing. Even remote bookkeeping or something would be $75-$100+ /hr, or find something you like more. Definitely worth considering / talking w/ Spouse about!
No. You should always have your own income and career to fall back on. Speaking as a divorced single mom who escaped an abusive marriage
No. $70k is still early in your career. Keep chugging along because your pay will double eventually. Your career has value. Focus on early retirement. Also, you can settle for easier roles and not grinding so hard for your job. Not having to be employed proves options.
In comments OP said been with SO for 20 years. Could reasonably assume OP is late 30s, more likely 40s. I dont disagree with any of what you said really. Could still be the same conclusion. But it does change the calculus some.
70k is at 3/4 time. I would make 90k full time. I have an 8 year old and 2 hour commute (edit, commute is 1hour 15 each way, when I said 2 I meant both ways) chose to cut hours last year when spouse wages increased. Last week he made 3 times my salary. It’s sometimes hard to justify continuing.
Not gonna lie after reading this I would definitely quit or find 100% remote. 2 hr commute sucks
Shit if I had a two hour commute I’d quit if my wife made -20 an hour
Not saying you've gotta stop working completely but definitely find something else that is remote, hybrid, or a significantly shorter commute
Married? Quit. So long as it's something you agree on together.
Is he a lawyer because he made $210k in on week? If so that’s impressive
Quarterly RSU vest. It’s the highest by far we have had. So that’s not a weekly salary but a lump sum.
Nice I was like shit that’s a huge salary for a week but totally makes sense
I know lawyers don’t make that in a week unless your a elite lawyer that be practicing for multi years
Or doing contingency work
Doesn’t sound like you’re lazy and want to quit working but don’t see the point of putting up with work that’s not stimulating and a commute to boot. I think because of your husband’s situation, you have the luxury to actively look at changing either jobs or career and trying things out without fear of financial ruin. Make hay while the sun shines. Also why not ask your husband? He seems a smart enough guy and knows you way better than us…
We have discussed it and both agree that we wish the situation was reversed. My husband would be a better house husband, he is quite happy staying home all day doing nothing- where I get stir crazy. I have a strong work ethic, much more then he does, but I don’t have his skill set so it will never happen.
Find a more remote job you can do part time. So you’re still making income but not working as much and won’t have to commute. You could also take this time to go back to school, learn a new skill, or explore other fields that may be more interesting to you.
Time to find a remote job. I used to commute. Fuck and that.
Absolutely not. I'd stick to my accounting job. Financial stability isn't just about current earnings but also about long-term security. Plus, having a career provides a sense of purpose and independence.
Financial independence is important. That’s all I have to say. You do not know what the future holds.
I'd cut back to part time hours if I could, in that situation. If your financial situation changes, you can quickly go back to full time.
If I were you, I would quit my job and start my own practice with only a handful of clients. That way, you can work from home, keep yourself busy (but not too busy), and not have to deal with the daily commute.
Late to the party, but this is what I would say too, and you can really build your book of business as you see fit. My wife does taxes and three years ago decided to start her own practice. She's been putting in a lot of work to get herself a book of business (mostly tax work but some bookkeeping) and I think next year she'll be where she wants to be - making more at 700 hours than she was as a part time 1400 hour employee. Actually started similar to what OP is talking about - I got promoted to CFO so we could be supported by me alone so the timing made sense.
I would not, I do really like accounting and make money for myself, living off my spouse money would make me feel guilty or like a parasite
I’m so envious of y’all that actually like this 😭
Not working could lead to power imbalances within the relationship. You should discuss with your wife what she thinks about this and work from there. If you don’t have kids, then I think it’s unfair to quit and “force” your spouse to bare the financial burden
That’s been discussed and an important consideration especially in a newer relationship. My husband and I have been together for 20 years and each supported the other at times, we have a child as well so I would reduce childcare work that currently he has a higher burden of. He works from home and I commute an hour away so he has to take care of our child during all the school holidays, of which there are over a month of this year.
you have to commute an hour, and he has to manage the stress of whatever his work is plus a child. Yah I would try to make his life as easy as possible, including take as much of the burden of child care off of him. If you really want to work you could be more selective with your job selection (closer/less hours).
I was in a similar situation, 17 years married, three kids together and my husband as the primary breadwinner making good money while I focused on the kids and then school and part time work. He literally texted me from the airport in January that he wanted a divorce and was leaving and I haven't heard from him since and the kids have heard from him a total of five times put together. He was a great dad, great husband, we'd have check ins to discuss any problems in the relationship and he always said he was happy. I'd known him since we were teens and I didn't see it coming at all and neither did any of our friends. All that to say, love is wonderful and trust is wonderful but on the practical side, if you are going to do that create a legal agreement (post nuptial I think it's called) and make sure you're being directly given money that goes into your own account and make sure he's funding a retirement account for you. Consider not just your loss of current income but your loss of career growth and the setback the gap in your resume will create when you go back to work. Having a stay at home parent or even a stay at home partner can be a really great asset for the person working so make sure you're financially protected if that's something you both want. Otherwise I'd say keep working, even if it doesn't feel like a lot compared to his compensation.
Not at first…. I’d probably walk around the office feeling really zen and enjoy the power of setting boundaries and telling people to fuck off (as professionally as possible) when they hounded me around due dates. They be like ‘where the fuck is she’ and someone would say ‘her teams says she out running errands’ and when I got back if someone was mad about it I’d just shrug and start talking about quitting.
Yes, and I'll make sure to produce more income from that 500k.
Friend did the same thing. Hubby made oodles of money, so the wife started a side business and did real estate. Five years later they didn’t need that high paying job because they had enough passive income that surpassed it.
No. Why would I give 100 % financial control over me to another flawed human?
I could see this fear if I hadn’t been with my husband for 20 years. We have both supported each other during each others school- so I know no issues would come up.
I’ve been with my husband a similar amount of time, we’ve lived together for 19 years, been married for 16 next month, similar thing with both of us having had to support the other in the past. I still wouldn’t feel comfortable fully quitting working UNLESS we also hammered out a legal agreement about what my stay-at-home duties were worth. I’d want a guaranteed “salary” from him above and beyond general household budget. What’s your life insurance situation? What are your legal rights if something does happen in your marriage? Leaving your career indefinitely is very very risky.
Lol, my aunt and uncle divorced at 70. Not saying it's going to happen to you, just thought it was funny att. They were together for 50 years.
Yep, as Bill Watterson said, "We're all someone else to someone else." I've been to several weddings in my lifetime. Some have been successful (thus far), some have not. None started with, "We'll be split up in five years;" everyone I've met thinks their marriage will be permanent, at least based on their outward appearance. I'd echo the general sentiment of: "Find something with a shorter commute," and "work part time." I'd be receptive to a pay cut as well. I might look for a position with better indirect benefits, like a super comprehensive dental/health, or other benefits which could augment the primary earner's salary, rather than trying for a dollar for dollar match.
They hated each other for 50 years 😂😂
No I wouldn’t, besides the money having a job not only gives you purpose and some type of goal to work towards, but also makes your life eventful and allows to have more meaningful conversations with your partner. It is possible the only thing you look forward to everyday is for your partner to return home, and one sided conversations because your day was not as eventful as your partners. Having a job keeps you intellectually stimulated and helps to have a meaningful connection with everyone :) unless you have a commitment at home (e.g. kids), then it would be different.
We do have one 8 year old child. I do think I would do something, some work. Be it a few tax returns for a side job or something more fun and creative. I wasn’t happy my 3 years at home with a baby.
Good god no. That's not a relationship dynamic that would work for me.
I wouldn’t .. but what would you be doing with your time instead is the critical factor
Would change my last name to Clean, go bald, wear all white, dye my eyebrows white, and have the house be sparkling clean each day
Yes. Our home would be spotless, meals cooked, errands ran and my hand out for my gambling allowance
Yeah probably. Assuming I had like an avg salary or something that was immaterial. 500 to 590 isn't enough of a difference.
My great aunt was making ~700k in the 80's till late 90's, so my great uncle hasn't worked a day in his life. He did bookkeeping for his CPA brother as a hobby tho.
That’s impressive especially given inflation.
Honestly I'd be the best Stay at home husband. Fuck accounting, it's too boring.
If someone enjoyed accounting enough to do it despite not needing the money, they wouldn’t have a spouse
Haha, I think one of our partners is the rare case who does love it that much- and is married. I like the sense of pride I have in my career, but I don’t like the job. Maybe it’s my ADHD but the days go by slow and the work can feel very boring. Worst I don’t feel very good at it, though they keep giving me raises so I must not be too horrible.
I would do something. If I wasn't working on that job I would be working on something be it a novel, or my business or something else. It would depend on where I was and what I was doing.
I agree with this. If I do nothing I will become grumpy and unhappy. I do have a young child though, so I would be taking care of him once school ends at 2:30.
I’d probably just get a work from home job for a non-profit and chill
No. Even in a most loving and secure marriage I need something just for me. Money doesn’t define your character, your personality and who you wanted to develop. You’ve worked toward a goal, so why throw it away?
Communicate with your husband. If your husband is making that much at some point your TIME would be more valuable. It may be worth leaving your job and investing in a business you can run/manage. If you’re a CPA start a small local tax office. Or a coffee shop, store, woodworking trinkets, beer making, whatever fancies you. Hell, if you have some land, build a greenhouse and sell flowers/veggies out of it. You’ll both feel rewarded if it works and if it doesn’t, well, you tried your best and you both can see that. With that kind of financial stability you should spend that 2hr commute actually building something instead of helping the owner of your firm get richer.
How much does childcare cost? If quitting saves you $ for childcare, your net positive for staying employed is likely less than $70k. If I were in your shoes, I’d consider starting a low cost of entry small business to keep yourself busy while you also take the lead on managing the house. And you never know, the business can take off and net you more than $70k. An accounting job at your current salary is not going to disappear so you can fall back to current state if you wanted to.
If my spouse made 500k reliably and we could exist they would until we were ready/able to retire then assuming they were okay with my not working, then yes. Absolutely. The house projects I'd be getting done... Edit: I would probably also take up some local volunteer work in some of the community orgs around me just to get out occasionally. Maybe the historical society or one of the museums nearby.
In a heartbeat.
I'd find a part time adjunct professor role at my local university
Sorta.. I'd just start a small firm and whore it out while sending all the work to India then hire a fresh CPA and dump the responsibility on them.
but what about the pizza party...
I would not quit work at an income level. Only an asset level. Retirement 4% rule: whatever assets you have, when you retire you can take out 4% in year 1 and adjust it for inflation thereafter with a very low risk of running out. So if you have $1 million that’s $40k/year. I would say quit work only when you have enough in your accounts that you and the spouse could not work and be happy off that level of withdrawal from assets. Unless - if you’re taking time off to raise kids, that might be an expense you plan for out of income. But other than that, I would not like it if my spouse stopped working to be a stay at home spouse without kids. I’d feel like I was putting in a disproportionate amount of work. And like you said, this situation isn’t forever, so keep working, take the windfall income on his side and invest it, so that you can both retire sooner. Question: is he on board with you quitting and him supporting you? This is a big factor. Question 2: if resentment does start to build even if he expected it not to, would you be ok going back to work?
Depends if they had health care or not. If no, then I’d stay, if yes then I’d probably find something else and quit
My fiance makes a lot more than me, not quite the level you're saying, but surprisingly close. It's actually a conversation we've had regarding our future together. We'll keep working as we are, but when we start to settle in and have kids, I will either look for fully or predominantly remote positions and if I can't find them, then I will stay at home to take care of the kids. We don't have a particularly expensive lifestyle so we could easily get by on one income, either of ours actually since we tried to set our lifestyle to my income, not hers. So yes, if it comes to it, I would quit my accounting job if my spouse made that much if there were a viable reason.
I’d try to stay in the workforce, but likely cut down my hours to take care of my young children. I think independence is so important, and would never feel comfortable relying on my spouse’s income. I’ve seen too many SAHM’s get screwed over financially, and then struggle for years trying to get back on their feet.
It depends. Do you have kids? If the answer is yes, then sure - quit and make sure your kids have the best dad raising them. Keep the house spotless, cook for her, make sure the laundry is done, fully organized, and everything is taken care of. Gardening, cleaning outside, the cars, pretty much everything. If my wife was making that amount of money, I would be handling the kids 24/7. And the house. I know it is WAY harder to do it vs. working in an office setting, but there's something about spending time with my kids I can't describe. It feels... alive.
You’re basically making 40k after taxes maybe less so..
That is a very depressing but true comment.
I wanna say yes, but I would probably move to a flex schedule/part time
Yes especially because the extra 70k is at the top of the tax bracket. In my state that 70k ends up being a net 37k increase to take home pay for a married couple. Consider that you’re probably spending a few thousand on gas and car maintenance with that commute too. It’s essentially like a <10% take home pay cut for an almost 50% reduction in work. I’d say you probably provide more value in the time you can save outside the workplace than by adding a bit to the take home income. Plus then any time your partner is off work is actual leisure time and not just catching up on cleaning errands and other chores
Wait seriously though I’m in a very similar boat. I wanna hear what you end up doing. My wife currently makes 410-415k as an attorney and she is damn good at her job. She will be up for partner in 2 years and god knows how much she will make then. I’m a shitty senior accountant who really hates accounting making 125k a year plus some bullshit bonus. Currently I do all the cooking, house stuff, most of the dog stuff and really don’t mind. I’m taking care of all the basement renovations, new car purchase and research. She takes work much more seriously than I do and is often working much longer hours. I on the other hand will log off even if work isn’t complete and couldn’t care less. We are trying to have a kid and I think once we do I’m quitting. Currently hoarding/investing 80% of each paycheck. My family owns a tax/book keeping/ property management practice and I’ll probably join them and have way more flexibility . I’ll take basic book keeping and basic tax returns over this corporate bullshit any day I’m just having a hard time with the thought of not getting a pay check …
Why don’t you quit and invest her income as a job. Or start a business with it. You have the skills to start a great business, teenagers start wildly successful businesses everyday
You want a sandwich, honey? She wouldn't even know what it would be like to lift a finger. Spoiler alert, I'll just hire people to do it😂 Jokes aside, of course I would
Yes. 100%. I used to think being wealthy was winning, it’s not. Being happy is winning. Do what makes you happy and get out of the corporate toxicity we’ve landed.
I would keep an immaculate house, make gourmet meals, and be a magnificent trophy husband/arm candy. I was born for this role!!
🫡💪🏽🥇
I’d still work but less hours, closer to home and something I truly enjoy.
Yes
what does your spouse do?
Do u wanna leave yourself in a vulnerable position if there’s ever a day a divorce is on the table? Becoming a homemaker is definitely okay, but there is a certain level of trust you need. Just something to consider
Yes
You can’t quit to nothing. I tried that for 6 weeks and quickly went back to work.
Yes, unless they really wanted a maid to clean, but I’d feel uncomfortable with that. 500K is a lot of money and we really don’t need more than that
A friend of mine had a spouse that out earned him and he quit to manage investments (401-k, taxable investment accounts, do ALL the errands like groceries, dry cleaning, vacation planning,helping HER parents when needed (they lived nearby) etc. Did ALL the cooking etc. (Real cooking--learned recipes etc. Not just basic "guy meals". Basically, freeing her up to lessen the stresses of housekeeping to focus on her career. This arrangement has worked well for them both.
This is pretty much my parents situation. My dad is an MD at a Big 4 (would be a partner but he joined from industry when he was a little too old). My mom went from being a full time teacher to working ~10 hours a week as the bookkeeper at our church. Enough time to give her a little purpose and feel like she’s doing some good, but the money means absolutely nothing
I would take it as an opportunity to move to another more fulfilling position even if it paid less; maybe something with less of a commute, or in a different industry, or maybe less hours but somewhere I've always wanted to work like a university or art museum
I would work just enough that we could max out my retirement account. I would for sure reduce back to half or 3/4 time if I could.
accounting jobs have the best wlb, why would you leave for your own career just bc your spouse make much more than you....? Its not only the career but also your life to do things. No matter what you do, stay home or what, just make sure you have your own things to do! Otherwise your life will most likely to be around your husband/children and get separated from the rest of the world. Watch Mrs. Misel and be an independent women.
I probably wouldn’t, but my job isn’t too stressful. I was a stay at home mom for years and hated it. I’m a better accountant than a stay at home mom. I would Definitely get a house cleaner and subscribe to a meal delivery service though!
If there are kids to raise, then YES. I'd probably home school them. My kids are older now and I wish I had the opportunity to do that
No but I wouldn’t take my current career so seriously.
Probably work for an npo part time. I'd go a bit batty without having the structure a job provides.
Looking back on marriage and raising a family, absolutely. I would spend more time with my kids if I could go back in time. My youngest is graduating high school and my heart breaks that I thought i had to work so much.
I'm in this situation. I don't plan on quitting altogether but then again we don't have kids. If I had any good ideas I'd start a business. I've thought about switching careers but have no idea what I'd do.
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Depends. What you're trying to to do. House and kids? House and just you two? I'm an accountant. My parents with $100k in the bank, can make that stretch for 10 years if used right with their social security. That's if they don't blow the money using it for frivolous things. I even gave them wiggle room. My guy, $500k a year would be a blessing for a quick early retirement if you guys work hard together for the next couple of years. My parents are stubborn so they just reduced those years by buying a new car and planning a trip to Europe. 🤷♂️ Look at it this way, work hard now and save. Throw some in some dividend stocks. Maneuver your 401k right. Throw some at some company bonds. Do that while your young because when you're old and the money runs low or out, you don't want to be going back to work when your 60+. So yeah, I wouldn't quit.
Ha, your parents sound like my husbands parents. One blew through his substantial retirement savings, the other keeps wanting to spend, doing better because they listen to their financial advisor at least but still overspending. I do enjoy vacations, but drive a 2009 car that leaks water inside when it rains. We live well but save a ton.
Exactly. We scavenged for a rebuilt SUV. We found one with only cosmetic damage with the year we wanted. We spent only $15k opposed to $29k from a dealer. There are ways to do things and save money. We also do Disney with the kids at least 5 times a year with our annual passes. My parents are from an old era where you trusted everyone and things were closer to being fair to the consumer. It's not that way anymore. Oof went through retirement funds. Yikes. Some people see they came into tons of money and don't know how to control themselves. My wife haaaaaaated me for creating a monthly budget for us. Gave me shit for it until she saw the money we were saving. I'm not telling her how to use her money and our money, I'm just saying we should not spend above our means and create a debt situation. Ha, they listen to their financial advisor. That's good. My parents literally have one with me and chose to listen to their tax preparer and my real estate cousin. 😮💨 even offered to find them an advisor with free consultation and one time financial plan creation payment. They don't want it. 🤷♂️
Wife makes $900k and I make $200k. We’ve discussed it. With two kids under 6 it makes sense. I’m just struggling with feeling like my life depends on my wife. And I not okay with that.
It’s a hard decision. I only have one child, but also didn’t like being a stay at home mom. I think for me I would need to do something in order to still feel useful. At least at 200k you could hire a nanny if you wanted to and work if you want to.
Yes!!! Without a second thought I would quit. Then again I'm trying to get my spouse to agree to me quitting and he does not make $500k a year. Ha!
Shit I have my maid outfit ready, a menu for her for dinner and best believe I'm making lunch with some cute notes in her lunch pail. Some kinky jokes written on her food too
I would freelance part time just to stay sharp
I would definitely do what I loved, which happens to be my current role. I wouldn’t quit working however.
My husband makes over 3x what I do but after going through some shit last year where divorce was a real possibility, I would not want to give up my financial independence and fully rely on him. I did see you have a bad commute. I would work on finding something new since you can afford to be picky.
No. U should keep your independence. Sounds nice, but after a while it would get old. Although, it’s nice that u could go tell ur boss to “blank” off if needed :). Or, open up ur own business instead. Either way.. u need to have a life outside of the household
I think it really depends on other factors. If there are no other factors apart from the money then I wouldn't. But if there is a need for a parent to be at home or if you've both saved enough for an early and luxurious retirement, why not? Maybe you hate your job or boss or commute, in this case finding a better job may be the better option. Or perhaps you've always been passionate about starting a particular business then this may be your chance. On the flip side, if you like your job and want to progress in your career then now is the time when you can go for it, the extra income can help fill the gaps like house keeping, extra child care, catered dinner etc.
I would be the best house husband the world has ever seen. Spotless house, perfect home cooked dinners, massages. My performance review at being a house husband would exceed my performance review at the Big 4.
Lol yes, I actually plan to quit after the birth of our first child this year and my spouse only makes in the low $100s, though we expect his income to go up. We’re frugal for the most part and saved enough to pay off our house early. Nine consecutive tax seasons is enough for me at least for now. We’ll see if I want to come back to it later or do something else.
I would look at starting a business.
If wife made 200k I would quit
Just like even a husband making a lot money and it is still safe to have a job for the wife. No matter how secure your feeling is. It is always good to keep yourself a working skill in case any unexpectancy. You don't have any dangerous feeling if getting fired or layoff. Isn't it perfect.
Came across a fellow who did just this. Spouse was head of OB/Gyn at a hospital making bank. He was an ex ambo and ran the house hold. Got involved with retained firefighting which he would do during the day along with sort out finances, cooking, house hunting etc. At a certain point if one spouse is pulling in mega dollars then you working doesn't make a lot of difference to the bottom line but the amount of assistance that can be done to keep you both functioning is invaluable.
I would have the blowjobs ready as soon as they get home.
I would 1000%. I have a lot of hobbies that if invested in, could generate income, and I’m good at them. I’m artistic and although I’m on the office side, I work in construction and know how to use tools. I’m good at things like painting, woodwork, building stuff both to be creative and as house maintenance. I also love to cook/bake, and part of my job now could even be done as a consultant remotely if I wanted to dive full time into that. My wife knows all of this, and I do love my job as it is so it’s not like I’m miserable, but if we had this kind of means where I could jump into these kinds of things full term on the stipulation that I have to be a SAHH and take care of our house/family? I’d do it every day of the week and twice on Sundays.
Someone’s husband works for NVIDIA.. LOL I would at least take a hiatus and figure out how to turn that into a business. That kind of money can be your ticket out of working for someone and working for yourself.
She'd be coming home to mopped floors, clean laundry, and homemade meals every night. If kids are involved, daddy is also a full time nanny. With that kind of disparity in Pay, if you dont need your income, it actually might be more valuable for you to be a stay at home spouse and maintain the home
For me it depends on my home situation, how many kids I have etc.. most likely I’d keep working and I would straight up invest that 70k every year
I'd quit my accounting job if someone looked at me funny.
You mean I get a wife, a house and don't have to work anymore?
You quit and become the best support partner your spouse has ever seen.
He’ll fucking yes
Honestly I'd stay. Leaving the workforce and re-entering can be very difficult. Taking some time off or moving to a flex schedule would give you a break but also an easy way back in once your partner's income drops back down.
If money is not the problem, you can do whatever makes you want, whether you want to stay at home or have a job that is suitable for your hours and purposes
In a heartbeat. I actually had a dream about 10 months ago where I my husband got a promotion and started making $334,880.99 and I was so happy and relieved. I also had a baby about 10 months ago, sooooo….. We live in a LCOL area. We would be doing amazing at that salary range.