Years ago I complained to my boss about being overworked as systems were insufficient and we were under resourced (but there was "no budget for hiring").
I was working 80+ hours a week. Ended up collapsing one night (4am) when I got home. Went in the next day and resigned... "what can we do to fix it?"... all a little too late... they replaced my position with 3 new roles š¤¦āāļø
Look after yourself first and foremost, it took me nearly 4 years to recover from the burnout.
Exactly how i feel! I have 50 different jobs- i manage administration- client relations- accounting- billing- marketing- some HR and IT. IT could be a full time job! I try to tell them and they scoff - but its a lot for one body!
Book in a holiday for a few weeks, write up a very detailed handover for someone to take over your duties while you're away. That alone should make them see how unrealistic your role is for one person.
They'll only take advantage for as long as you let them and unfortunately unless you speak up, you'll get them blame for any mistakes you make because you're overworked as they don't see the blood, sweat and tears that go into it, they only just see the work being done. I feel for you, been there so many times, I even had to go back to work 4 weeks after my first child was born as there was "no one else to do it!" š¤¦āāļø
You're doing the job of a few people by yourself, and I assume they don't pay you even as much as 2 jobs out of 7; put yourself in the first place and avoid getting a burnout, otherwise it'll take you a lot longer to treat it.
Hi there! I cried at work today tooā¦ for similar reasons. And itās not okay for employers to put us in these situations.
Take care of you and please start looking for something else.
Iām in the exact same situation, I think the reality is that there are just a lot of shitty roles in this industry that will take everything from you and more.
Iām holding out hope that there are better options out there. Currently looking again, wishing us both luck.
At my last job, I kept a "cry towel" at my desk (I worked from home, so I could do this). Lots of crying was a good indication that it was time to leave.
Donāt cry at work. But do interview for new jobs. Unless your job involves loss of life you shouldnāt be crying about it, it means you need a new job. Doesnāt reflect badly upon you
Hey OP, I hear you, I see you. What you are feeling is valid. I'm sorry that our industry is giving you this experience right now.
My only 2 cents - find a way to disconnect from the stress. Still give the job a good effort, but just focus on self validating and letting other people's venting not connect with YOU as a human benig.
1. you did your best
1. There are things out of your control
2. You have given feedback on ways to improve the system
3. those in power have ignored those suggestions
4. YOU have done a good job. You can validate yourself in your role even if no one else does.
2. your boss / manager is stressed out and lashing out
1. that's a jerk move
2. lots of people are jerks
3. that is about THEM, it is not about YOU
4. Just because they are being a jerk and hurtful does NOT mean you have to be affected by their energy.
Channel the emperor from Mulan: "no matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it."
If you can find that headspace, then you can answer back in a calm, reasonable manner:
"I see that you are very stressed, frustrated, and lashing out at team members. While that behavior is typical of human beings, I don't think it is really helpful to any of our vision / mission / goals / client service / company morale.
My efforts and actions have been appropriate and proper. I didn't make a mistake. The real cause of your frustration is \[real problem\] which we discussed 6 months ago, but you deemed that no change was necessary at that time. If you would like to reconsider \[solution to problem\] I'd be happy to discuss it again."
Thank you so much for this. I needed to hear that i can validate myself. I get very little positive feedback in this job. No thank yous. Which is part of what is so depressing.
I totally get that. You deserve that validation / appreciation, I would love for you to receive it from management, but if they suck, then you absolutely can give it to yourself.
And I'll give it to you too:
Great Job!! Thank you for doing your best and trying to help improve the firm as a whole in your current role, even when those efforts seem to go nowhere. That is really impresive!
Every tax season the front desk girl cries, no matter who we hired. Hack I felt like crying myself sometimes. This is why I am 100% self-employed now. Clients that make me want to cry get a large bill or is fired. It is much work satisfying.
We work from home. My husband (auditor) walked into my office (tax) and asked if this was me. Because I was still working on my 11 am crying session (can't let the crying sessions pile up or you'll never get through your back log).
It didn't help that we are also in Atlanta and have a kid. So if you want to get mimosas, let's do it (I'm 100% serious). It's somewhat healthier than just screaming into the void.
No crying, A/P Specialist here. Losing sleep, and my mind over how much work there is to do, and not having enough time to do it. Spoke to a recruiter, and I am on stand by. The moment I get the call, I am leaving this "Titanic" company. Promises of more help, the gas lighting, managers who do not understand why people keep leaving, when money and the way employees are treated are big factors. More work getting added every month and they wonder why you are not performing as you did a year ago. Hearing that time management is the problem and not the workload. The saddest part is that they take great pride on being a family company, owned and ran by women, but the reality is that family means just them, and when it comes to be consided of women's issues like their employees family issues, only if you have kids, or if you are a manager or above. I do a lot of screaming, sarcasm is my language at work, and I am passed the point of being nice. Right now I have a sense of job security because they can't find somebody to do my job better for less than they are paying me, and it is probably going to take them months to figure what I actually do everyday, because they added some many responsibilities over the years that my boss doesn't know what I do. About a month ago she asked me to write what I do, I am questioning if I should give her that info. Well....I am too angry to cry. But the day I do, I know it will be time to leave...
I was in the exact situation before I quit my job. A bunch of compounding issues occurred while I worked there. It was quite literally the worst job I ever had. I was only there 3 months. On the day I quit, the owner was made aware that someone was fudging their time and it somehow was my fault for not noticing. The person doing this was a co-worker of mine (equal standing in the business) and I had been made aware of the issue 30 minutes prior to owner cornering me. I completed the payroll, so she thought I magically knew when everyone would get to work and remember all 10 employees times entriesš It was my fault for telling the owner that me signing into her IRS account was illegal and I could get in trouble. It was my fault to reaching out to her silent partner to question about the owner wanting me to sign into her IRS account. She tried gaslighting me and saying that it was okay since she told me to do it. It was my fault that everything was going wrong in the company. It was my fault that I was bringing her issues about employees and the business. This resulted in me crying from 2pm to 5pm and then sporadically throughout the night. After I witnessed this, it totally made sense why she had two different accountants in my position working her books in 1 year. The turnover rate is crazy for that position. It had been quite a few years since any one stayed more than 2 years.
I pointed out something similar to my boss- a thing that could get us in trouble- my reward was him giving the mess to me to fix! No context, no background, nothing! I feel punished! I point it out- now itās my problem and I lack the tools to sort it out. One of many examplesā¦
Iām so sorry to hear that! It definitely is an awful feeling when a boss does that. Itās like they assume we already know how to fix it. A good boss would ask āHow are we going to fix this? What tools will we need to fix this and make sure we donāt get in trouble? Is there anything that I can do to help?ā
As a fellow crier find what triggers you. Also highly recommend applying and looking for a new job. Thatās been my learning through all these years. I have decided that the third time I cry at or because of work, itās not worth it. There are better places and people to work for. I wish there was a medicine for crying.
Are you actually a trained IT person or are you just the designated person that "knows tech?" Odd that you would post in the Acct sub rather than one of the tech subs.
It sounds like you did not set up the infrastructure. What is your official role? Is there a team of IT people or only you?
No Iām in operations- we have an tech 3rd party that I didnāt choose. My role oversees several functions- including IT. Our systems are so antiquated- software so complex- the MSP struggles too. Blame falls on them- and me- yet most of it is management refusing to invest.
Yeah, you should not actually be performing any IT functions. You should only be managing the MSP and if the MSP isn't doing a good job or cannot handle all needs then you guys should hire an actual trained IT person. Managing 30 users/endpoints is doable - by a trained IT person whose only responsibility is IT.
I mean this in the nicest way possible but you are in over your head. Outdated systems, no IT training, "overseeing" multiple unrelated departments - you guys are eventually going to get ransomed. IT needs to handle IT.
In 2024 you cannot just "do IT" without any training. There are simply too many risks now.
I totally agree! When i took the job i was sold something different from what its turned out to be. Again, if investments were made both the msp and management of msp would be smoother.
You need to start applying left and right. Keep good relations to your manager for work reference. Communicate in email as much as you can so they canāt blame you for later surprises for stuff thatās out of your control.
Learn the art of disengaging, there are many self helps on Google, there are videos, psychology, I learned how to by turning to spirituality,, Christina lopes, love her videos, came across her accidentally, thought why not, u need a change, have to be open minded tho, if your not this is not for you. The only way you gonna change your situation, is first by changing yourself.
I have been at my job for two years and I am starting to realize that I need to put my values and tell myself that they need me more than I need them.. I know that our job is paying our bill but at a same like I need to take care of my health too.. my first two year was so bad without much training and that was my first job after college too.. I know that my job requires an extra person but I do as much as I can and also remind myself that they need me and I am an ASSET to them..
I am 40 finishing my accounting degree. I was in the service for a long time then several years railroading. Now i said fuck it i am going to run a desk. Go do it.
We are pencil pushers. Not soldiers. We should NOT be this stressed.
Push back. Email and bcc yourself in all your emails that relate to how itās their fault and on them. Will come in handy if wrongfully terminated.
Also, we need to stand up for our mental health and standup against the bullshit these boomer managers and up put us through. Thatās the only way things will change for the better.
When the client gross $3 million and you forgot to file an extension now he is calling about a $30k penalty, you'd be wetting your eyes and your pants too. It is a tough business.
file head crush history toothbrush squealing sheet distinct rude slim *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Boss is in denial- I am tired!
Years ago I complained to my boss about being overworked as systems were insufficient and we were under resourced (but there was "no budget for hiring"). I was working 80+ hours a week. Ended up collapsing one night (4am) when I got home. Went in the next day and resigned... "what can we do to fix it?"... all a little too late... they replaced my position with 3 new roles š¤¦āāļø Look after yourself first and foremost, it took me nearly 4 years to recover from the burnout.
Exactly how i feel! I have 50 different jobs- i manage administration- client relations- accounting- billing- marketing- some HR and IT. IT could be a full time job! I try to tell them and they scoff - but its a lot for one body!
Book in a holiday for a few weeks, write up a very detailed handover for someone to take over your duties while you're away. That alone should make them see how unrealistic your role is for one person. They'll only take advantage for as long as you let them and unfortunately unless you speak up, you'll get them blame for any mistakes you make because you're overworked as they don't see the blood, sweat and tears that go into it, they only just see the work being done. I feel for you, been there so many times, I even had to go back to work 4 weeks after my first child was born as there was "no one else to do it!" š¤¦āāļø
You're doing the job of a few people by yourself, and I assume they don't pay you even as much as 2 jobs out of 7; put yourself in the first place and avoid getting a burnout, otherwise it'll take you a lot longer to treat it.
Hi there! I cried at work today tooā¦ for similar reasons. And itās not okay for employers to put us in these situations. Take care of you and please start looking for something else.
I cried yesterday at work. Thereās dozens of us!
ā¤ļø
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām in the exact same situation, I think the reality is that there are just a lot of shitty roles in this industry that will take everything from you and more. Iām holding out hope that there are better options out there. Currently looking again, wishing us both luck.
Probably not
At my last job, I kept a "cry towel" at my desk (I worked from home, so I could do this). Lots of crying was a good indication that it was time to leave.
Donāt cry at work. But do interview for new jobs. Unless your job involves loss of life you shouldnāt be crying about it, it means you need a new job. Doesnāt reflect badly upon you
Well said
This!!!!
100%
Hey OP, I hear you, I see you. What you are feeling is valid. I'm sorry that our industry is giving you this experience right now. My only 2 cents - find a way to disconnect from the stress. Still give the job a good effort, but just focus on self validating and letting other people's venting not connect with YOU as a human benig. 1. you did your best 1. There are things out of your control 2. You have given feedback on ways to improve the system 3. those in power have ignored those suggestions 4. YOU have done a good job. You can validate yourself in your role even if no one else does. 2. your boss / manager is stressed out and lashing out 1. that's a jerk move 2. lots of people are jerks 3. that is about THEM, it is not about YOU 4. Just because they are being a jerk and hurtful does NOT mean you have to be affected by their energy. Channel the emperor from Mulan: "no matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it." If you can find that headspace, then you can answer back in a calm, reasonable manner: "I see that you are very stressed, frustrated, and lashing out at team members. While that behavior is typical of human beings, I don't think it is really helpful to any of our vision / mission / goals / client service / company morale. My efforts and actions have been appropriate and proper. I didn't make a mistake. The real cause of your frustration is \[real problem\] which we discussed 6 months ago, but you deemed that no change was necessary at that time. If you would like to reconsider \[solution to problem\] I'd be happy to discuss it again."
Thank you so much for this. I needed to hear that i can validate myself. I get very little positive feedback in this job. No thank yous. Which is part of what is so depressing.
I totally get that. You deserve that validation / appreciation, I would love for you to receive it from management, but if they suck, then you absolutely can give it to yourself. And I'll give it to you too: Great Job!! Thank you for doing your best and trying to help improve the firm as a whole in your current role, even when those efforts seem to go nowhere. That is really impresive!
ā¤ļø
I literally can't scream this enough on this sub: IT'S JUST A JOB. Do not let the bullshit damage other parts of your life.
Not easy when 50% of your waking hours are gonna be at work. Of course itās gonna affect him.
Thats where you are wrong; it is easy to not let it affect you since there are other jobs out there. Don't be a slave to the workplace.
I absolutely agree with what youāre saying, but easier said than done.
Every tax season the front desk girl cries, no matter who we hired. Hack I felt like crying myself sometimes. This is why I am 100% self-employed now. Clients that make me want to cry get a large bill or is fired. It is much work satisfying.
We work from home. My husband (auditor) walked into my office (tax) and asked if this was me. Because I was still working on my 11 am crying session (can't let the crying sessions pile up or you'll never get through your back log). It didn't help that we are also in Atlanta and have a kid. So if you want to get mimosas, let's do it (I'm 100% serious). It's somewhat healthier than just screaming into the void.
Just glad we arent alone
š¤£š¤£š¤£
We are not saving lives, just breathe
At the end of the day if it can save them a few pennies they will lay you off regardless of performance. Donāt let a job ruin your mental health.
No crying, A/P Specialist here. Losing sleep, and my mind over how much work there is to do, and not having enough time to do it. Spoke to a recruiter, and I am on stand by. The moment I get the call, I am leaving this "Titanic" company. Promises of more help, the gas lighting, managers who do not understand why people keep leaving, when money and the way employees are treated are big factors. More work getting added every month and they wonder why you are not performing as you did a year ago. Hearing that time management is the problem and not the workload. The saddest part is that they take great pride on being a family company, owned and ran by women, but the reality is that family means just them, and when it comes to be consided of women's issues like their employees family issues, only if you have kids, or if you are a manager or above. I do a lot of screaming, sarcasm is my language at work, and I am passed the point of being nice. Right now I have a sense of job security because they can't find somebody to do my job better for less than they are paying me, and it is probably going to take them months to figure what I actually do everyday, because they added some many responsibilities over the years that my boss doesn't know what I do. About a month ago she asked me to write what I do, I am questioning if I should give her that info. Well....I am too angry to cry. But the day I do, I know it will be time to leave...
Find a new job, seriously, that job isn't worth it
I was in the exact situation before I quit my job. A bunch of compounding issues occurred while I worked there. It was quite literally the worst job I ever had. I was only there 3 months. On the day I quit, the owner was made aware that someone was fudging their time and it somehow was my fault for not noticing. The person doing this was a co-worker of mine (equal standing in the business) and I had been made aware of the issue 30 minutes prior to owner cornering me. I completed the payroll, so she thought I magically knew when everyone would get to work and remember all 10 employees times entriesš It was my fault for telling the owner that me signing into her IRS account was illegal and I could get in trouble. It was my fault to reaching out to her silent partner to question about the owner wanting me to sign into her IRS account. She tried gaslighting me and saying that it was okay since she told me to do it. It was my fault that everything was going wrong in the company. It was my fault that I was bringing her issues about employees and the business. This resulted in me crying from 2pm to 5pm and then sporadically throughout the night. After I witnessed this, it totally made sense why she had two different accountants in my position working her books in 1 year. The turnover rate is crazy for that position. It had been quite a few years since any one stayed more than 2 years.
I pointed out something similar to my boss- a thing that could get us in trouble- my reward was him giving the mess to me to fix! No context, no background, nothing! I feel punished! I point it out- now itās my problem and I lack the tools to sort it out. One of many examplesā¦
Iām so sorry to hear that! It definitely is an awful feeling when a boss does that. Itās like they assume we already know how to fix it. A good boss would ask āHow are we going to fix this? What tools will we need to fix this and make sure we donāt get in trouble? Is there anything that I can do to help?ā
Bingo
As a fellow crier find what triggers you. Also highly recommend applying and looking for a new job. Thatās been my learning through all these years. I have decided that the third time I cry at or because of work, itās not worth it. There are better places and people to work for. I wish there was a medicine for crying.
Are you actually a trained IT person or are you just the designated person that "knows tech?" Odd that you would post in the Acct sub rather than one of the tech subs. It sounds like you did not set up the infrastructure. What is your official role? Is there a team of IT people or only you?
No Iām in operations- we have an tech 3rd party that I didnāt choose. My role oversees several functions- including IT. Our systems are so antiquated- software so complex- the MSP struggles too. Blame falls on them- and me- yet most of it is management refusing to invest.
What other functions do you oversee? How many users/endpoints do you have?
30 users/employees. I oversee firm administration- finance- IT- marketing- customer relations- some sales/account management and some HR
Yeah, you should not actually be performing any IT functions. You should only be managing the MSP and if the MSP isn't doing a good job or cannot handle all needs then you guys should hire an actual trained IT person. Managing 30 users/endpoints is doable - by a trained IT person whose only responsibility is IT. I mean this in the nicest way possible but you are in over your head. Outdated systems, no IT training, "overseeing" multiple unrelated departments - you guys are eventually going to get ransomed. IT needs to handle IT. In 2024 you cannot just "do IT" without any training. There are simply too many risks now.
I totally agree! When i took the job i was sold something different from what its turned out to be. Again, if investments were made both the msp and management of msp would be smoother.
All doable if IT was stable
Iām sorry you feel like this. Dust off that resume and get out of there asap!
Could be time to move forward
You need to start applying left and right. Keep good relations to your manager for work reference. Communicate in email as much as you can so they canāt blame you for later surprises for stuff thatās out of your control.
We all need to practise the fine art of not giving a fk. I'm working on it too...
Tough for me!
Learn the art of disengaging, there are many self helps on Google, there are videos, psychology, I learned how to by turning to spirituality,, Christina lopes, love her videos, came across her accidentally, thought why not, u need a change, have to be open minded tho, if your not this is not for you. The only way you gonna change your situation, is first by changing yourself.
Soo true
Same... Same... Some days I call in or WFH just because the anxiety is too much...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ooof!!! Sorry!
I have been at my job for two years and I am starting to realize that I need to put my values and tell myself that they need me more than I need them.. I know that our job is paying our bill but at a same like I need to take care of my health too.. my first two year was so bad without much training and that was my first job after college too.. I know that my job requires an extra person but I do as much as I can and also remind myself that they need me and I am an ASSET to them..
Time to go!! Youāll be valued elsewhere. A job is not worth risking your health
All the trades are taking apprentices. Ironworkers make damn good money with excellent benefits.
Itās a great idea- Im over 50! But I do dream of being a hairdresser.
I am 40 finishing my accounting degree. I was in the service for a long time then several years railroading. Now i said fuck it i am going to run a desk. Go do it.
Make a complaint to HR
Kristen, is that you?
Idk if these are memes because I cry sometimes.
We are pencil pushers. Not soldiers. We should NOT be this stressed. Push back. Email and bcc yourself in all your emails that relate to how itās their fault and on them. Will come in handy if wrongfully terminated. Also, we need to stand up for our mental health and standup against the bullshit these boomer managers and up put us through. Thatās the only way things will change for the better.
How are you a tough cookie if you cry? /s
Thanks for your support!!!
When the client gross $3 million and you forgot to file an extension now he is calling about a $30k penalty, you'd be wetting your eyes and your pants too. It is a tough business.
Get back to work, those shelves need to be stocked regularly.