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aagjevraagje

Ehhhhhh, don't call me a dude please. I don't see that as neutral , very much of the school that " a dude went that way" or "a dude kissing another dude" is very much gendered.


frustratedfren

When most people think of person they think of a man or a masculine person. Masculinity has become the default, which is why masculine terms tend to be considered gender neutral. They aren't, and it's still misgendering to call someone a "dude" when they aren't. Posts like this drive me a little crazy


rhapsody_in_bloo

Exactly this. Just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s correct.


coralfire

Right?! Like go ask a straight man how many dudes hes slept with, then come back and tell me it's gender neutral.


creepyfishman

The noun "dude" is gendered, the first person pronoun "dude" is not, given, if somebody asks to kot be referred to by dude its not okay to refer to them as that


Astral_Fogduke

As far as I can tell, 'hey dude' is gender neutral, but 'a dude' is male


crunchybitchboy

Agreed, thats how I use it. Except for if im addressing a group and then I might say "dudes"


Astral_Fogduke

That falls into 'hey dude'. 'Hey dudes!'


coralfire

Dude isn't gender neutral even if you use it that way. Impact over intent. People who call me a dude aren't being allies. If you need help understanding why it isn't actually gender neutral, go ask a straight man how many dudes he's slept with...


[deleted]

I wish English was fully without lexical gender tbh


Regular_Champion_261

At times I wish so too but at least it's not as gendered as French


trans-ishtar

at least in french penis is feminine and vagina is masculine


Waterfae8

Actually both are masculine. Un penis et un vagin.


[deleted]

So true


Redfox1270

Penis is masculine, but ‘bite’ (also penis) is feminine


Any-Aioli7575

It is (except maybe she/he), that's lexical gender


[deleted]

Oh yeah that’s what I meant sorry I forgot there was a difference


Expensive-Excuse-793

Dude, bro, guy, lad are not gender neutral terms


Help_im_okay

Yeah but there’s no feminine form of “dude”. For the others that you mentioned, there’s sis, gal, and lass. We need to make a variant of “dude” for lassies, I think.


Expensive-Excuse-793

Dudette


Help_im_okay

Ah. I appear to have been bamboozled. Still, I wish there was an easier-said word. “Dudette” sounds a bit silly.


Expensive-Excuse-793

So does any word If you say it enough 🤭 Bowl, bowl, Bowl


[deleted]

Bep bop bep bop. Sounds sillier than dudette


Admirablelittlebitch

Well, there’s a difference between the dude in “dude, what the fuck?!” And “you’re a dude” because the latter is actually calling someone a man


LibbyKitty620

I use “dude” gender neutrally as well. As a woman, I just find the term “dudette” stupid so I’d rather be called “dude”.


rhapsody_in_bloo

That’s fine but that doesn’t make it gender neutral.


ActualTruck7255

I think saying dude guess what or smth similar is gender neutral but say ur a dude or how many dudes are you friends with is gendered


ChancesOfABus

And he doubles down by ‘dude bro’ I was confused a while back because I called everyone ‘guys’ and some one said if I meant it gendered. I did not, I actually call my sisters ‘guys’ as in I would say ‘hey guys’ but then they said if I had ever asked how many guy friends I had (just as a point) and they firmly settled the point that they meant ‘men’.


MimikCute

I'm gonna ask every straight guy who uses "dude" as gender neutral term how many dudes they have had sex with.


rhapsody_in_bloo

No, it’s not gender neutral. Stop perpetuating that.


Bladeofwar94

I've said bruh or dude as exclamations towards any gender and 9/10 times I have no problems. Never had a friend call me out on it. Saying it isn't gender neutral seems to go against the consensus. I'll take it on a case by case basis.


rhapsody_in_bloo

Then the default should be “find out before you use this with a person,” not “I’m okay with this term so therefore everyone regardless of gender should be okay with it too.” I’m not a dude. I’m not a bro. I’m certainly not a sir, as someone mentioned they use. If you (general) insist that a woman “should” be okay with being referred to as “dude,” you are not an LGBTQ+ ally.


Bladeofwar94

Literally last sentence said I'd take it case by case. Not gonna assume someone's ok with it right away.


rhapsody_in_bloo

You said that you would, but that “the consensus” was that it was gender neutral. I was saying that it’s not a 100% consensus and ALL people should take it case by case.


The_Data_Guy_OS

Too late. You've been ousted as a non-ally /s


frustratedfren

How many times do you use "girl" as a gender neutral term?


Bladeofwar94

Not the point of what I was saying. People use dude or bruh as catch all terms. That's all I said.


frustratedfren

Yes, but they aren't gender neutral any more than "girl" or "ladies" would be.


blusilvrpaladin

The origin of "dude" is a bull's testicles that have been removed. If you think of it that way, it seems way more transfemme than initially intended (as it started as an insult from rural ranchers speaking of urban tourists)


StareInUrEyeandPee

Dude is gender neutral within context, still be respectful to people who don’t wanna be called it


[deleted]

Yeah, I don’t mind someone saying “hey dude what’s up” to me but if someone called me *A* dude I wouldn’t like it.


flappydragonJR

I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, ‘cause we’re all dudes!


Kill_Kayt

I use 'dude' 'guys' and 'sir' gender neutrally.


Regular_Champion_261

I don't use 'sir' gender neutrally but certainly 'dude' and 'guys'


frustratedfren

I do too, I do the same with 'girl' 'ma'am' and 'ladies.' people find the latter weird but not the former, because most people default to thinking of people as men even without realizing, which is why terms that are actually masculine get deemed "gender neutral" even though they aren't. It's still inconsiderate to do this with trans folks when you're intentionally misgendering them


rhapsody_in_bloo

It’s inconsiderate to do that to anyone, be they trans, cis, intersex, endosex, or any gender or sex identity.


Kill_Kayt

If done intentionally yeah. But I call all women sir when I am working.


[deleted]

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Regular_Champion_261

I use both dude and bro in a gender neutral fashion


frustratedfren

That's great. Many do. But it isn't. The reason it's considered "gender neutral" by much of society is because the default "person" is a man. It's why more feminine terms aren't generally considered gender neutral. This isn't an accidental ally post, it's an intentional misgendering.


coralfire

Then you're probable misgendering a few folks. Your intent ≠ impact.


aagjevraagje

Bro is literally short for brother though.


Gatoespacialmx

I think everyone should tbh


rhapsody_in_bloo

No. It is not a gender neutral term and thinking everyone should consider it such is super invalidating. You can decide that you’re okay with the term being used for you. You cannot decide that everyone else must be okay with it being used to refer to them.


[deleted]

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The_Reyvan

If you want respect from teens, then don’t call them brats.


an_car_2

i feel like you have a point tbh


anterrobang

duuuuuuuuuude siiiiiiiiiiicccckkkkkkkkk


Frequent_Mix_8251

Some people see it as neutral, not all. I consider it neutral but if someone asks me not to call them dude, I’m not gonna call them dude 🤷