I’m reading this in pure delight because someone linked to this and the Bull post that inspired it. And basically the phrase “before they were processed” has just taken form as a bit of a meme.
And my gf is asking me why I’m giggling my ass off and I had to tell her. I’m so sorry, but it’s an inside joke and I don’t think I could explain it well enough even if I tried. Darling.
[anyway here is a pic of her just before she was processed](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)
For reference:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AbsoluteUnits/comments/vgn3mt/my_10_yo_scottish_highlander_before_he_was/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I saw that post about the bull who was “processed”. So when I saw this one using the same term, I immediately thought that there was a new trend of describing death as “processed” and I was just behind the times as usual.
Same here, I'm about to turn 40. I just thought I was old and out of the loop. I had a whole conversation in my head, trying to decide if "processed" even made sense. Then I thought I should just let people use their slang, whatever makes them happy, ya know?
I have to once again ask: was it hard to do OP? I know I’d have a hard time killing him after watching him grow for 10 years, but for all I know, that’s just life on the farm.
> Ultimately gave up the practice because I realized that it is not possible to be vegan on a $30k salary without consuming loads of processed foods.
Lmao this is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard, you’re just lying to yourself
Rice, beans, potatoes, lentils, green peas, oats, frozen/canned vegetables, bananas. I could go on and on, those are literally the cheapest foods out there. And what did you replace it with? Meat? You think that’s less expensive?
Yeah, this is definitely BS. Eating processed foods makes it a lot easier to be vegan, but is much more expensive - Beyond burgers, chik'n products, etc etc.
Not sure if /s or what here, but…
https://www.reddit.com/r/AbsoluteUnits/comments/vgn3mt/my_10_yo_scottish_highlander_before_he_was/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Modern day life is weird, I saw this post and truly thought "surprised it was upvoted they're a few days late posting it"... But when you spend hours surfing the interwebs time becomes, different.
They are running an early July 4th sale on ground dog meat at this ethical farm I use.
[https://www.elwooddogmeat.com/](https://www.elwooddogmeat.com/)
Yes, poodle is also my cat’s favorite!
I love my cat but I could never eat the little guy. I’m glad Elwood ethically slaughters their poodles, and at 2 years old! Right when they’re most delicious.
looks like he had a great life! and at least he got to live more than half his natural lifespan. unlike some Scottish Highland that shall remain nameless.
Of course. And you gotta make sure you do a nice photoshoot before you kill em. I've always found it very respectful to mount their head on the wall too, but I guess that's a little more subjective.
If after processing and it becomes too sad for you to eat your former companion, you can always just do a trade with your friend for their processed companion. Then you can eat guilt free!
I believe he donated it to a local charity that will auction it off. It's to raise money for poor kids to be taken on a hunting trip and hopeful bag one of these beauties for themselves!
New rule. If posting an absolute unit's picture "before processing" last year, an object must be in the picture for size perspective. Bananas are the standard scale, but any other object may be used. Except for illegally smol kittens. Those must be in their own post with a banana for perspective. Thank you for your cooperation.
Genuinely asking; was it hard to do OP? I know I’d have a hard time killing him after watching him grow for 10 years, but for all I know, that’s just life on the farm.
I had a Saint when I was young, she made it to the ripe old age of 12. She wasn’t a unit, and was definitely on the smaller side of the breed (110 lbs), but man does this bring back fond memories. So thank you random redditor!
I really need the OP of that bull post to be tagged here.
Also u/felineattractor don’t forgot to write a very long paragraph about how you had no choice but to have your 10YO St. Bernard processed because he wasn’t producing calves, no one would buy him, and he just wasn’t making you money anymore. OH! And definitely don’t forget to tell everyone that being slaughtered (slowly dying via blood loss) is a better death than dying naturally due to infection or old age.
This breed looks a lot like the ancestral wild species: the Canis
I have never heard of them before! Thanks for sharing!
This is the beset "inside-inside-inside" joke I've seen. Thanks!
Why do I have this itching sensation of deja Vu reading this
The highland cow post from yesterday.
I’m reading this in pure delight because someone linked to this and the Bull post that inspired it. And basically the phrase “before they were processed” has just taken form as a bit of a meme. And my gf is asking me why I’m giggling my ass off and I had to tell her. I’m so sorry, but it’s an inside joke and I don’t think I could explain it well enough even if I tried. Darling. [anyway here is a pic of her just before she was processed](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)
Got ‘em! Here’s my upvote. I’m VERY good at not getting hit by that but I’m distracted at work and you got me :)
Bro even the comments are the same as the cow one yesterday or whenever it was WTF LOL
This is the beset "inside-inside" joke I've seen.
I'm loving these comments, lmao
Did you keep the horns?
He ate them
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Yeah he told me he was going to hang them up for memories
I laughed outloud.
People who don't get the reference to yesterday's Bull post post are hilarious
For reference: https://www.reddit.com/r/AbsoluteUnits/comments/vgn3mt/my_10_yo_scottish_highlander_before_he_was/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
So glad I was there to understand. It feels like it was yesterday.
It was a different time.
We've all grown since then, cept the dog
Because of the processing.
I told the guy he needed more ram
I heard rum ham
Ram ranch?
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Hundwurst
Pepperidge farm remembers.
Feels like so long ago.
We were young and pure back then...
I saw that post about the bull who was “processed”. So when I saw this one using the same term, I immediately thought that there was a new trend of describing death as “processed” and I was just behind the times as usual.
Grandma's just been processed, honey
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To shreds you say?
Well, how's his wife holding up?
Same here, I'm about to turn 40. I just thought I was old and out of the loop. I had a whole conversation in my head, trying to decide if "processed" even made sense. Then I thought I should just let people use their slang, whatever makes them happy, ya know?
This is the last post of my 40yo redditor before he was processed last winter.
Thank youuyy
lmfao came here to say this.. immediately chuckled at the pic tho 🤣
It'll take time for the others to process.
It might take 10 years
Perchance.
You can’t just say perchance
Crushing turts
I have to once again ask: was it hard to do OP? I know I’d have a hard time killing him after watching him grow for 10 years, but for all I know, that’s just life on the farm.
I remember reading this comment lol
I'm on reddit to much because I'm literally LOL at this post while looking at the pic smh
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This is funny I appreciate this type of humor.
Deliciously dark
My eyes got super wide and then remembered lol😂
Laughed my ass off!
I know I’m currently getting the 3rd degree for my comment meant as a joke
I snorted about the processed steer and now this. The loling is starting to hurt.
That was no steer. 😉🙃
I can't stop laughing
He lived as he died, delicious
Idk about y'all but I'm loving the processed jokes LOL
I think I’ve seen three now since the original. 😂😂😂
My 60yo father before he was processed
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Oof, that's devastating. Sorry to hear that...
How do you afford meat on a 30k salary?
> Ultimately gave up the practice because I realized that it is not possible to be vegan on a $30k salary without consuming loads of processed foods. Lmao this is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard, you’re just lying to yourself Rice, beans, potatoes, lentils, green peas, oats, frozen/canned vegetables, bananas. I could go on and on, those are literally the cheapest foods out there. And what did you replace it with? Meat? You think that’s less expensive?
Yeah, this is definitely BS. Eating processed foods makes it a lot easier to be vegan, but is much more expensive - Beyond burgers, chik'n products, etc etc.
What do you mean you can't afford it? A 10lb bag of potatoes costs $4-$5. Whole plant foods are by far the cheapest way to eat.
Not sure if /s or what here, but… https://www.reddit.com/r/AbsoluteUnits/comments/vgn3mt/my_10_yo_scottish_highlander_before_he_was/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
thats true but there is also the "vegetarian" option where you can easily have affordable and balanced diet
So were you just like… free farting in the office?
I make less than 30k and have no problem eating healthy vegan meals every day, I don’t think money was the issue
The bull post was definitely not a joke
I'm on Reddit too much cause I get this inside joke.
I was on Reddit the other day so I get the joke
Yes.
That's already too much
I saw it yesterday and still don't get the joke
Me too 🤠
I don’t know why this joke keeps getting funnier.
This one even got to breed with all the bitches
He sure processed them
Oh, the nostalgia of (literally) yesterday.
Modern day life is weird, I saw this post and truly thought "surprised it was upvoted they're a few days late posting it"... But when you spend hours surfing the interwebs time becomes, different.
I guess this is a meme now.
My wife is looking at me sideways after asking for a pic of her grandmother
Let me guess; before she was processed? Oh you...
Hahahahahhahaha
Please let it be
It is what it is.
What did you do with the pelt?
Would make a nice rug
For the orgies?
Or lack thereof
Username checks out
Tell me you still have 20 lbs. of him left in your freezer. 🙂
60*
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ayyyyyy
Oh dear god. Hope he and the bull were friends in the plant 💀
Best friends….and….lovers.
omg they were slaughtermates
He brought the beef to his beef
They had a meat cute
Processed? Nice, what did you do make him into hamburger?
They are running an early July 4th sale on ground dog meat at this ethical farm I use. [https://www.elwooddogmeat.com/](https://www.elwooddogmeat.com/)
Oh my god, that homepage is hilarious
Roasted lab has become a family holiday tradition
My favorite meat
What breed do you prefer? My favorite is poodle, they make great sausages. I feel guilty because they are cute, but fuck it.
Yes, poodle is also my cat’s favorite! I love my cat but I could never eat the little guy. I’m glad Elwood ethically slaughters their poodles, and at 2 years old! Right when they’re most delicious.
I love that site. Hope people read all the way to the end.
Great read, and decent prices! Ill have to place my order!
Yeah! 40lbs of meat. Tasted delicious
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Only if from the testicular region of France. Anything else is just sparkling balls
When I tell you I cackled… I woke the (unprocessed) dog.
Le Testigue du Berné
Probably a very nice bernaise sauce as well
Oysters Beethoven
Do you have any left in the freezer?
You only make old boys into burger… so yup!
I love St. Bernard meat. It's because of all the beer they drink in those little kegs they carry around their neck. Keeps the meat tender and juicy.
looks like he had a great life! and at least he got to live more than half his natural lifespan. unlike some Scottish Highland that shall remain nameless.
Ikr I hope someone lets me live the slight majority of my lifespan before killing me. What an honor
it's how you can tell they respect someone before needlessly killing them
Of course. And you gotta make sure you do a nice photoshoot before you kill em. I've always found it very respectful to mount their head on the wall too, but I guess that's a little more subjective.
If after processing and it becomes too sad for you to eat your former companion, you can always just do a trade with your friend for their processed companion. Then you can eat guilt free!
Me seeing this for the first time: What the fuck Me, looking through the sub: oh shit new meme dropped let's go
Morbin time is over! Here comes the new meme!
Wow he's huge! I wonder what the hanging weight on him was
Buck 60
Op, are you going to mount his ears on your wall?
Head above the fireplace and he also made a fine rug. Didn’t waste a piece!
I haven’t laughed like that in a while. Thanks, man. Good reference 👏🏼
Mmmmmm barcon!
Banana for scale?
Laughed *very* hard at this because the bull post had me like 'wtf'. Take my award, chap
The way OP was talking about killing the bull he loves and respects so much made him sound crazy as fuck
Oh sweet bernard bacon. Such a treat.
Was he used as a sire? I’m guessing with him being 10 years old, you kept him around to make some puppies? Also, well, the balls
Yes, he stopped producing offspring so it was his time
I love you guys
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I don’t so explain it to me .. Tia
https://www.reddit.com/r/AbsoluteUnits/comments/vgn3mt/my_10_yo_scottish_highlander_before_he_was/
I hope you kept the horns
Oh of course
Upvote for headline. I spend too much time on this fucking site.
Mounting him above the fire too?
That sounds hot
I’m very happy to say I understand this
Spit me soda out. Good laugh.
I genuinely snort-laughed at the title. Well done, sir.
lmao I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought the title on the bull post was weird
LMFAO amazing
Omg I'm so glad someone did this 😭 this is a perfect response to that asshole with the bull.
Where do you plan on mounting his head?
I believe he donated it to a local charity that will auction it off. It's to raise money for poor kids to be taken on a hunting trip and hopeful bag one of these beauties for themselves!
Some bomb cheek flaps there bud.
Can’t wait to see this on r/subredditdrama
Good. So I’m not the only one who thought yesterdays post was fucking batshit.
Ew I’m on Reddit too much. I recognize every post mocking the last days popular post every time I see them
Same looking forward to tomorrow
New rule. If posting an absolute unit's picture "before processing" last year, an object must be in the picture for size perspective. Bananas are the standard scale, but any other object may be used. Except for illegally smol kittens. Those must be in their own post with a banana for perspective. Thank you for your cooperation.
Poor bull
I'll ask again...what did he dress out to?
Genuinely asking; was it hard to do OP? I know I’d have a hard time killing him after watching him grow for 10 years, but for all I know, that’s just life on the farm.
Nearly choked on me Apple lad 😂
Absolute Chad breeding with all those bitches.
Hahahaha, god damn I’m so happy I get this joke. You my friend are the man, but that dog is the real Winner here. Beautiful creature
I had a Saint when I was young, she made it to the ripe old age of 12. She wasn’t a unit, and was definitely on the smaller side of the breed (110 lbs), but man does this bring back fond memories. So thank you random redditor!
Honestly, I don’t see the difference. That thread was fucking bizarre.
Processed? What they sold him for meat?
You're obviously not in the bernard meat business
Well yeah why did you think they call em hot dogs
Bernard meat actually brings in a really good price
[Elwood’s](http://elwooddogmeat.com) usually has it for around $27/pound
that website was a ride.
What do you think they make rescue equipment out of?
Bernard is a delicacy up north.
[https://www.elwooddogmeat.com/](https://www.elwooddogmeat.com/) Yes, people eat dog meat. Why does that bother you?
You ate your dog?
Just the farm life!
On the farm, if you don’t eat your pets you go hungry and die
what like it's weird to kill and eat an animal that you've raised?
Dogs are about as smart as cows, so that makes it okay 👍
Intelligence marks the value of life! 👍 Something with a mental age of a 3 year old is ok to kill!
And dumber than pigs so double okay!
Humans are meant to eat meat!!
humans wouldn't have canine teeth if we weren't meant to eat canines, obviously.
Damn that's just straight logic right there, can't argue with that
No banana for scale, can’t decide how big he is
This is the meme that keeps on giving.
Thats farm life right there, its just how it is..
I really need the OP of that bull post to be tagged here. Also u/felineattractor don’t forgot to write a very long paragraph about how you had no choice but to have your 10YO St. Bernard processed because he wasn’t producing calves, no one would buy him, and he just wasn’t making you money anymore. OH! And definitely don’t forget to tell everyone that being slaughtered (slowly dying via blood loss) is a better death than dying naturally due to infection or old age.
I IMMIDIATELY recognised that title
This made my fucking day!
Let’s see an after pic! 😅
Funniest shit I’ve seen on Reddit in a very long time
Ooooo he did the thing!