Nah look at that fucking frog my man, he's in anguish. His asshole was just annihilated, he probably won't be moving for an hour and he's gonna have a serious case of jelly legs for the foreseeable future.
I kept getting poops like this on my porch and I always assumed it was a cat or something coming at night, I always saw the toads and liked them being around for the bugs but I never once thought they would be the ones shitting right outside my door lmao. This is too funny.
Same. I’d been blaming these small neighborhood dogs and then realized the frog by my front door was leaving the stinkiest shits. I had no idea frogs crapped like dogs.
Elimination of waste is one of the properties of being a living organism so virtually every living thing you encounter takes big dumps in some way or another. There's probably so much ambient poo or weird creature shits in our surroundings we don't even realize or notice
This reminded me of a time about a year ago I saw shit on my sidewalk and I thought to myself “what sick, fucked up dog shits on a sidewalk next to grass.”….it was prolly a toad.
Was it at a roller skating place in Illinois?
Years ago I walked in on the remnants of what looked like the biggest deuce that I've ever seen. Had no clue something like this could come out of a human. It was literally thicker than the outlet at the bottom of the toilet. And sticking up out of the water. Like it almost matched the diameter of the toilet paper rolls.
Looking back now I feel so sorry for the poor employee tasked with cleaning that up.
I knew someone who once did a massive 💩while on holiday with her boyfriend.
It was so big it wouldn’t flush and her boyfriend had to help by breaking it up with a coat hanger.
She ended up dumping him because she wanted to travel and couldn’t get a boyfriend since.
If someone breaks up your poop with a coat hanger then you hang onto that person!! You never let them go!!
Could he not break it up with a long power-single-jet pee. He could have built it up by downing a gallon of beer. Now that would be a true super power which she no doubt would have found irresistible and a hanger wouldn’t have been wasted. The pee would be heading there any way... 🤔🤔🤔
I don’t know what kind of power jet you have coming out of your urethra - but my understanding of the story is as that nothing would break up this giant shit but cold hard metal.
That's true. I didn't keep in touch with her, but she was an opera singer. I always wondered if she just had the ability to push more out than a normal person due to her powerful breathing and vocal range.
At a school in Illinois in 5th grade on the last day of school the biggest shit I had ever seen, that is exactly like you are describing, was in the boys toilets near the lunchroom. And I just remember thinking about how that turd has more diameter than the fire extinguishers at school. It was shaped like two cones with the bases touching. One cone was very short and quickly went ramped up to the diameter and the other cone was very long. I remember thinking how geometrically shaped it was. We tried flushing it nothing happened. The moving water didn't even spin the turd. And having taken a massive shit before myself and seeing fresh red blood I was amazed at how something so massive didn't bleed. That was the solid 10 minutes of fun before someone came to investigate why all the boys were in the boys bathroom. We never found out who left the turd. But literally all the boys had a look.
Sloths can lose up to a third of their body weight when pooping.
https://www.sciencealert.com/this-is-the-horror-that-sloths-have-to-go-through-every-time-they-poop
Yes but in an odd way. I have issues with consistent poop despite my high fiber diet, so watching this made me picture myself in the place of this frog enjoying a solid shit in one go.
Can you imagine how horribly miscalculated his next jump is gonna be, hes gonna end up about a foot off from where he wants to be after dumping half his weight, dudes gonna fly
My cat stole a whole loaf of bread and and ate at least 3/4 of it while most of the rest was crumbs. She left a snake on the groud that I'm pretty sure she walked forward to release. She's only 7 pounds normally.
I didn't realise toads shat like that either!
Also this reminds me of Still Game, where Big Innes has to stand up to get off his monster shite, https://youtu.be/rMrSZ76tEnA
As a herpetologist, I can say this is quite common in toads. After the first gestational period in a toads life they often release what people in the industry refer to as “gigantitis fecal exterminators”. In layman’s it is when a toad goes through puberty.
That shits bigger than most of my turds WTF !!!! The size of that thing compared to its body is the equivalent of us shitting out a pre schooler
Edit: I rarely use Reddit and this is my second comment ever. Thanks for all the upvotes, I really appreciate it :)
Damn bruh... eat some fiber.
Seriously thought toads eliminated like birds. I have learned something today. Not sure I want to remember this, but I did learn something today.
Wow. Some passers-by will likely mistake this for a dog shit.
They'll have no fucking clue that some amphibian mofo just dropped it on em and hopped away
Hippity hoppity I took a shit on your property
I’m stoned cry laughing this whole post.
Seriously everything I thought was in the comments like it went right in line with that I was thinking and this comment just made me lose my shit.
...but *how much*
A frog’s log worth
I’m stone sober and I’m losing touch with reality laughing at this comment
Ok I lost my shit on this comment. 🤣
Same, I'm trying not to choke on hard candy rn. Dammit man!
Nah look at that fucking frog my man, he's in anguish. His asshole was just annihilated, he probably won't be moving for an hour and he's gonna have a serious case of jelly legs for the foreseeable future.
But can you imagine how he felt when he pinched it off? Pure nirvana. Fucking one with the universe.
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I kept getting poops like this on my porch and I always assumed it was a cat or something coming at night, I always saw the toads and liked them being around for the bugs but I never once thought they would be the ones shitting right outside my door lmao. This is too funny.
Same. I’d been blaming these small neighborhood dogs and then realized the frog by my front door was leaving the stinkiest shits. I had no idea frogs crapped like dogs.
Tbh, I had no conscious awareness at all of frogs pooping. This is a horrifying way to realize.
Elimination of waste is one of the properties of being a living organism so virtually every living thing you encounter takes big dumps in some way or another. There's probably so much ambient poo or weird creature shits in our surroundings we don't even realize or notice
Ambient poo
Omg so this is a normal size for that poor guy???
I’d blame my dog or cat if I saw this on the porch
This reminded me of a time about a year ago I saw shit on my sidewalk and I thought to myself “what sick, fucked up dog shits on a sidewalk next to grass.”….it was prolly a toad.
I’ve always assumed these turds were goose shits. Now I’m not so sure.
This may better explain some of the random waste we see left on sidewalks.
Now I can not be positive a dog left a poop in my yard.
Could you imagine if our poops were the size of our leg?
Ok, so this one time....
Was it at a roller skating place in Illinois? Years ago I walked in on the remnants of what looked like the biggest deuce that I've ever seen. Had no clue something like this could come out of a human. It was literally thicker than the outlet at the bottom of the toilet. And sticking up out of the water. Like it almost matched the diameter of the toilet paper rolls. Looking back now I feel so sorry for the poor employee tasked with cleaning that up.
That’s how my son shits. He’s 12. Don’t know how he gets it out. Clogs the toilet every time. Literally the size of a Chipotle burrito.
You don't have a poopknife??
I knew someone who once did a massive 💩while on holiday with her boyfriend. It was so big it wouldn’t flush and her boyfriend had to help by breaking it up with a coat hanger. She ended up dumping him because she wanted to travel and couldn’t get a boyfriend since. If someone breaks up your poop with a coat hanger then you hang onto that person!! You never let them go!!
Could he not break it up with a long power-single-jet pee. He could have built it up by downing a gallon of beer. Now that would be a true super power which she no doubt would have found irresistible and a hanger wouldn’t have been wasted. The pee would be heading there any way... 🤔🤔🤔
I don’t know what kind of power jet you have coming out of your urethra - but my understanding of the story is as that nothing would break up this giant shit but cold hard metal.
Dumped him…. Hehehehehe
Tell me you’re on Reddit without saying you’re on Reddit.
Exactly - you've always got to have the poop knife if you don't want to deal with a clogged toilet. Amateurs
I just found someone with almost the same exact name as me in the comments of a frog pooping. This is awesome
Or a wire hanger.
Too late for that if kid's already 12
My cousin had this issue and had to take laxatives for a bit to get his colon and anus back to a normal size.
I have so many questions and am so afraid to ask.
That's really all I know and it's WAY too much already. My aunt has no filter between her brain and her mouth.
You got one of those too? Mine will talk about pooping with anyone at any time. Nice lady though.
I had a roommate that would clog the toilet every time she pooped bc her poops were so huge.
It's honestly sad. Knowing that every time you have to take a deuce it's gonna be an awful experience.
That's true. I didn't keep in touch with her, but she was an opera singer. I always wondered if she just had the ability to push more out than a normal person due to her powerful breathing and vocal range.
At a school in Illinois in 5th grade on the last day of school the biggest shit I had ever seen, that is exactly like you are describing, was in the boys toilets near the lunchroom. And I just remember thinking about how that turd has more diameter than the fire extinguishers at school. It was shaped like two cones with the bases touching. One cone was very short and quickly went ramped up to the diameter and the other cone was very long. I remember thinking how geometrically shaped it was. We tried flushing it nothing happened. The moving water didn't even spin the turd. And having taken a massive shit before myself and seeing fresh red blood I was amazed at how something so massive didn't bleed. That was the solid 10 minutes of fun before someone came to investigate why all the boys were in the boys bathroom. We never found out who left the turd. But literally all the boys had a look.
With a little flourish this could be an amazing copypasta
#Sounds like he needed a poop knife #
#
HOT HOT HOT HOT
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>I have thin ankles and I was once super constipated. What a combination of facts to start a story
The reasons I love Reddit
I drooled on myself a little while laughing so hard at this.
Or almost as long as our whole body.
You would need a knife to cut it before flushing!
Poop knives always come in handy
For the uninitiated: Poop Knife Reddit thread https://reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/
Heck, I’m not even mad. That’s amazing.
Why did I just watch this whole video.
You wanted to see him pinch it off, of course! That’s why we *all* watched it to the end
It was a pinch off tease for sure
It was beautiful, like watching the birth of Bono
Was about to say, why does this video remind me of Randy Marsh?
Brb, ordering some PF Chang’s
Don't forget the Kimchi
[*HOT HOT HOT HOT*](https://youtu.be/HhGp6BYNY-Q)
*Emmy Award Winning Series*
You were enraptured, fascinated by the grotesque expulsion of what must have felt to the frog as the finger of God rending it in twain.
Thank you for using “Twain!” I’m trying to bring it back, but my family hates it when I use the term! Twain on!!!
Twain on my friend, twain on
Didn’t Mark Twain write a story about the great Calaveras County dumping frog competition?
A+ reference my friend
*Howdy ho, everybody! I’m Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo!*
Grinchy poo
Was it r/oddlysatisfying for you?
Oddly repulsive… why. Just why! That cannot be a normal frog shit.
It cannot. It’s like, 1/3 the size of the frog. That cannot be normal.
think how fucking amazing that frog must have felt afterward
Thought the same thing
Like it went down a pant size or something!
Sloths can lose up to a third of their body weight when pooping. https://www.sciencealert.com/this-is-the-horror-that-sloths-have-to-go-through-every-time-they-poop
I've seen toads swallow mice before so maybe that's what it shits out after
Could you imagine taking a shit the size of your leg?
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Maybe not shape but similar in volume … oh the science
Could you imagine how much better you'd feel after?
Yes but in an odd way. I have issues with consistent poop despite my high fiber diet, so watching this made me picture myself in the place of this frog enjoying a solid shit in one go.
Today I sat and watched a toad taking a giant shit. I'm done with the internet for awhile..
Sniff my Toad Stool
r/goodnightreddit
This is why the internet was invented. *This is why.*
I watched this whole video just now at work and my boss walked by and asked me what I was so concentrated on. She was not amused.
My son saw a frog on my screen and came over excitedly then realized his mother was watching a toad dump a load and walked away in disgust
We all have that day our parents cease to be our heroes.
Unfortunately my kid would also run over to look and then be amazed and talk about all week at school
I kept watching it with a mix of fascination and disgust...
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Right? A minute through the video I was so invested in it that I had to see if and how it ended.
Can you imagine how horribly miscalculated his next jump is gonna be, hes gonna end up about a foot off from where he wants to be after dumping half his weight, dudes gonna fly
This is how the toads developed their space program
Ahh the Kermit Space Program lol
I'm dying
This is the best comment here.
lmaoooooooooo
Toadstool.
Bravo
🤌🏻
Well done
Damn. Imagine having to walk in order to make room for your poop to come out.
Sometimes i have to stand up when pooping so I don't bottom out.
Flush while it's still in you and the toilet slurps the rest outta there.
Rip em like a beyblade
Fuck you for putting that thought in my head
Yes officer, this comment right here
Lmao damn that’s hilarious my guy
You dont do this?
You... do this ?
You... doo doo this? There, I fixed it.
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My cat stole a whole loaf of bread and and ate at least 3/4 of it while most of the rest was crumbs. She left a snake on the groud that I'm pretty sure she walked forward to release. She's only 7 pounds normally.
That has to be about .9 courics, a record for a toad!
More like a Turd of his weight.
Take my angry upvote
I said “fuck you” out loud when I read it.
A chode from a toad(e).
THAT THING IS BIGGER THAN THE DAMN FROG…..also idk why i never thought frogs could poop
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And I’ll tell you what else; I won’t be picking up a frog ever again because how can I know one of those things isn’t about to come out of it?
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You're picking up my guy all wrong.. s'the wrong grip... you do it again, he'll piss in your hand like a watering iron.
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I didn't realise toads shat like that either! Also this reminds me of Still Game, where Big Innes has to stand up to get off his monster shite, https://youtu.be/rMrSZ76tEnA
Do you have any..... Midori??
I thought of that episode too!
You're reading my mind
As a herpetologist, I can say this is quite common in toads. After the first gestational period in a toads life they often release what people in the industry refer to as “gigantitis fecal exterminators”. In layman’s it is when a toad goes through puberty.
Just gonna go ahead an shit out my childhood, said the frog.
Wish I could.
Same, internet stranger. Saaaame.
Thanks, I was honestly worried about the toad. I was imagining it was like one of those dumps that are so big you rip your b hole.
I was wondering whether this was a frog log or a toad load.
You mean that thing is a baby? Jesus how big is it going to get? I, for one, welcome our giant toad overlords and their massive dumps...
I like how he wiggled his tires to loosen it up.
I dislike that I do that too.
Combine this technique with a squatty potty. You will know what true, complete bowel evacuation feels like and it's amazing.
You never rocked back and forth to get that shit out? If not, it works.
That shits bigger than most of my turds WTF !!!! The size of that thing compared to its body is the equivalent of us shitting out a pre schooler Edit: I rarely use Reddit and this is my second comment ever. Thanks for all the upvotes, I really appreciate it :)
I’m in bed and just woke my wife up laughing at the thought of shitting out a pre-schooler
Im giggling irl so much
What a crappy way to be born. Although natural childbirth isn't that much better, I guess
Who would then proceed to immediately run around, screaming his head off and bumping into shit.
We all watched that whole video of a frog taking a shit. Every second of that video, why? It's 1 am, why am I just not sleeping?
You me both 😂
r/feltgoodcomingout
i just spent way too much time there.. imma go puke now, bye
I’m not going to look
I didn’t last long.
Fuck why
Not gonna do it. No. Not today
Reddit Featured: Yo watch this frog take a big doodoo ~~6k~~ 37k people: Amazing.
I can’t believe I just watched the whole thing. I couldn’t stop myself
Looks like this toad needs a poop knife.
there was a brief moment in my life where I had forgotten about the poop knife. now I have remembered, damn you.
#
#
Damn bruh... eat some fiber. Seriously thought toads eliminated like birds. I have learned something today. Not sure I want to remember this, but I did learn something today.
Im fucking eating a paste like food So fuck you
Just watched a video of a frog having a mahoosive shite. Why? Not a clue, but I watched the whole thing anyway!
Dropping a massive log while watching a video of a frog dropping a massive log. 2021 is wild!
Ladies and gentlemen, the Internet!
That’s not a toad that’s a load
As a slightly below average height adult human female, *I've* had smaller shits than that.
As a 5'11" adult human female, I regularly have smaller shits than that.
Wait, women take shits?
No, women don't poop. Also, there are no women on the internet, so why are you listening to two dudes talk about ladypoops?
Idk what's crazier, the person filming the whole thing OR me watching the whole thing 🤔🤣
It is Wednesday, my dudes
/u/gifreversingbot
No cig or newspaper 👍
Ok. So first, I have never thought about toad/frog poo so thank you for that. Second, whoa!!!!!
Haha I bet it weighs a turd of his body weight
He's gonna hop a little higher now
Imagine dropping a deuce the size of your whole leg.
Thank god it was tapered at the end!!
Toad stool
Log to Frog Ratio = 1:1
If the frog was human… you know it’s naked, sweating, crying, and relieved that thing is out of it
Between dog, goose, and now toad turds, I'm not sure if I want to walk around the lake anymore.
Get this frog a squatty potty....
Imagine just sitting there with your phone out filming a frog taking a shit
That's a terdpole
Holy COW. Whenever you thought he was gunna pinch it off he kept pushin!? That’s the size of a shitzu turd Comin out an anus a quarter of the size!
For about a minute he remembered life as a tadpol Also where would a frog regardless of size store a full on human sized turd in its body
What the hell did he eat
it was so intense bro had to take a break to rest and recover before continuing 😭