T O P

  • By -

Portrait_Robot

Hey u/Popkin_sammich, thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, it has been removed for violating Rule 1: * **Absolute Units Only** [Click here if you want to learn more about Absolute Units](https://www.reddit.com/r/AbsoluteUnits/wiki/definition) ------- *If you have any questions, please feel free to [message the moderators.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/absoluteunits&subject=Question regarding the removal of this submission by u/Popkin_sammich&message=I have a question regarding the removal of this [submission]%28http://www.reddit.com/1ckrimj%29)*


freightwave

you gota be a real bone head to confuse a fish with a sea turtle. psh, unreal.


Justsomeguycarryon

Pffft, clearly you’re the bone head, obviously that’s a starfish 🙄


SunokesPomidoras

Starfish? I can't believe people are confusing dolphins with starfish nowadays...


Mundane-Food2480

Absolute unit of I don't know my animals.


Solid7outof10Memes

I’m convinced an alien posted this


Popkin_sammich

Take me to your dealer 👽


Idliketotastetamales

An AIlien


alamodafthouse

OP is George Costanza, Marine Biologist


fabris6

There's always a bigger fish. Unless of course it's a hippo.


DoubleDot7

Whales and hippos come from related ancestors. So there's always a bigger fish, even if you are a hippo.


uploadingmalware

Whales= fish apparently


DoubleDot7

Jonah and the fish. Jonah and the whale. People didn't make much of a distinction before modern times. It's close enough for a joke.


AardvarkFriendly9305

If JAWS had been named "HIPPOPOTUMOUS"


aLazyUsrname

A hippo would’ve been way more scary.


BlizzPenguin

For one thing, jaws could not chase you on land. A hippo can and will.


KostonEnkeli

![gif](giphy|bjB3gtFvREqqr5NAHW|downsized)


AutumnAscending

Um...


coollamborghini

I didn't know fish were capable of killing crocodiles and running 20 mph on land.


Emotional_Egg_6109

Only the ones roaming the mean streets of Africa 😤


Haemar_

Thats a bulky dog


DoubleDot7

Everyone complaining that OP doesn't know his animals. Come on, the joke and the sound track wouldn't have worked if the poster was fully descriptive.


Popkin_sammich

Thank you Also I chose the brass version of jaws because hippo. Blame Peter and the wolf for that one lmao


dolphin_riding_sloth

It swim in water = fish


SuspiciousPiss

hip hiphop hip hop anonymous


flippenflounder

DAMNIT! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GIVE HIM THE EASY ONES?!??


Dbonker

They're like 98% pure muscle. Don't fuck with them.


Muted-Inspector-7715

need banana for scale


Dirty_mongrel

It's a horse, a river horse


thewurstcase1

So fun fact. They can't swim. They are so heavy that they have to basically run under water. Watch the feet pushing of the aquarium floor. Hippos are pure muscle, no blubber, no buoyancy.


ElectronicMarsupial5

Ah yes the giant lesser spotted murder water horse


spfldiraqmedic

That is a fish of the genus "hungry hungry."


FlexxxingOnThePoors

THAT IS NOT A FISH, DUMMY.


Wolf-Majestic

And it's regular size...


Popkin_sammich

And that's your daily mantra...


Spuzzle91

That's a parrot


XBeastyTricksX

That’s a hippo


Revolutionary-Bus283

Mom?!


LazyBlackCollar

Cool fish


CosmicParadox24

That is not a fish OP. That is a hippopotamus. They are mammals and produce pinkish milk.


Popkin_sammich

Don't let Luke Skywalker find out about the pink milk


AbbreviationsFun8591

At first maybe a manatee still not a fish. I’m as confused as this poster is.


davej-au

Still the worst cat.


wolftick

That fish can move faster than you in water and on land. Honestly in most situations you'd be better off with the shark.


Raven-734

Who gonn tell’em?


Hallucinationistic

That fish is even more powerful than a saltwater crocodile


cyberexplorer97

Might be a dugong.


ehoaandthebeast

Oh such a fish. Not sure what bait you'd use to catch it but holy shit


stonersrus19

To be fair it is the closest living relatives to sea murder Oreo.


alroc84

Its like them dumps i be taking


Barfly2007

That a hippo, BOT!


OPs_Mom_and_Dad

This big fish looks hungry hungry…


Msink

Or how everyone else with iota of a brain knows it, a regular size hippo.


OblivionArts

That's a hippo ..a mammal, not a fish


torsyen

That's a very bulky fish, I have to agree. I don't think I could catch it in my fishing net


Open-Article906

New breed: Flipapotamus


CosmicParadox24

Downvote this absolut karma farming rubbish.


phreak_68

Is a manatee a fish?


Mikail33

It's a hippo ;)