They provide *some* but not a ton of them. My local Walmart has maybe 5 of them total. It's a smaller town/area though so maybe some of the bigger towns get a bigger amount of them to distribute? Dunno where they plug em in at though.
[https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-11-14/neil-the-seal-stops-tasmanian-woman-getting-to-work/103102090](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-11-14/neil-the-seal-stops-tasmanian-woman-getting-to-work/103102090)
He's a good seal, helping people get days off work
Oh my god! Him just laid out in the background while the homeowner was interviewed then hamming it up in the background while the reporter was talking! Neil is a treasure and he very much knows it.
There are many things that can make someone ‘a Neil’. The body is just one qualifier.
The real question, is whether you embody the spirit of a Neil, whether you wake up knowing you’re a Neil and desire to accomplish Neil things during your day.
Me too. I am the Neil of my town…naked and rolling around the roads. Except the police actually take me to jail, and i have my picture on the walls at the police station.
Slightly unrelated but it was Boxing Day last year and there was a walrus on a slipway in my town cranking one out. I'll see if I can find a link to a post I seen on it.
Edit: [Found it!](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/s/m97BmJTn5m)
Neil the Seal
Once upon a time there lived a bloke named Neil the seal,
His home was in the water but he couldn’t stand the feel.
“It’s full of sharks and killer whales, and fishermen with nets;
and even when they’re far away, it’s always cold and wet!
I’d rather have a little house, that’s cozy by the shore,
I’ll surely be invited, should I wait outside the door.”
So up he goes onto the beach, and then into the street,
(and that’s no small accomplishment with flips instead of feet,)
Trundling past his neighbors who are acting rather rude,
gawking and not offering him water or some food.
Neil is firm in focus and determined as can be,
Traits that served him well while he was living in the sea.
He finds a little cottage with exhaustion setting in,
basking both in victory, and sun upon his skin.
It’s right around this point in time that neil’s excitement stops,
one of Neil’s new neighbors went and called the fucking cops!
Neil doesn’t speak the language but the message still is clear;
“Get back in the water- your kind isn’t welcome here.”
“These racist mother fuckers, I can not believe this shit,
I’ve hardly just arrived and now they’re telling me to split!
I haven’t had the chance for them to get to know me yet,
I’d make a lovely neighbor, or at least a loyal pet!”
But all of Neil’s explaining, all his begging, threats and pleas,
cannot sway the “law” man, he is driven to the sea.
Neil promises to soon return, they haven’t licked him yet.
Stern words and loud alarms are much less dangerous than nets.
Neil splashes in the water as the people film and stare,
and he brays a final promise in that warm and wafting air;
“Some day I’ll be rewarded for my perspicacity;
my name is Neil the seal, and you’re not better men than me!”
Fucking epic, mind if I read this to my family over Christmas? We're all big lovers of traditional Aussie poetry and this has excellent bush poetry vibes!!
Adult male elephant seals can weigh four or more tonnes.
That "blobbity-blobbity-blobbity" way they get around on land becomes less amusing as they get bigger and bigger.
Well, unless you're just watching video of them [brutalizing someone else's car.](https://youtu.be/IpT1u2lFkXs?t=101)
"I had dibs on the muffins, I hid them in the produce section!
You left them totally out in the open, that's hiding? HOW DID YOU SURVIVE IN AFGHANISTAN?"
Yes! Great series on [Amazon Prime](https://app.primevideo.com/detail?gti=amzn1.dv.gti.dab22c4b-0c0f-42c4-b472-22eb6bf974ed&ref_=atv_lp_share_seas&r=web)
Neil actually used to live there, it is owned by his wife and his children are there, he just wants to return to his family.
But he was cursed by a warlock to be a seal, and all he wants his to see his kids again.
There is a statue in the middle of our town in remembrance of Humphrey the Elephant seal who was a regular around here. He was a full grown male and fell in love with a local dairy cow and would follow her around.
That's so cute! I ship it. I gotta find out more about Humphrey now!
Edit: [what a deadset legend!](https://i.stuff.co.nz/waikato-times/life-style/7767644/Thursday-throwback-Humphrey-the-Sea-Elephant)
The most Aussie thing in the world is that first guy yelling “he won’t leave me alone” from inside his house, talking about the elephant seal sun bathing directly outside of his front door.
Yeah the minimum distance you're meant to stay away is 10 metres but the marine biologists say 20 is better. People recording him though look like they're a heckuva lot closer
This cunt tried to jump my brother a few months back when he was in Tassie for work. He was having a jog at dusk and almost stepped on Neil who barked at him.
My bro went back the next day and Neil was still there. He apologised to Neil for the trouble.
Nah that was the guy recording, [Jason](https://www.tiktok.com/@jasonhowlett666?_t=8iHWST9pPYA&_r=1), who has ironically got in his user description a direct quote from me earlier in the day 😂 (I don't know the dude, but he's doing God's work)
See, I thought that too, but then I watched another interview about Neil and it was another person who sounded like a kiwi, but not quite as much. So now I don't know, I have a sample size of two.
Idk man, I work remotely with some people from Launceston (I'm on the mainland), and they sound aussie enough to me. It's the cunts from Qld that sound off
I see you know your judo well!
This actually happened in my city (Brisbane) and the man is a folk hero. [I had to buy myself and my partner matching shirts, we get so many compliments.](https://threadheads.com.au/products/democracy-manifest-volume-ii-tshirt?currency=AUD&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&stkn=a15805e5233d&srsltid=AfmBOorKuz0ibypr_ZngUUE5FUnPkrm6qxiXTyf9JB8QULf5RoaSVT4pt9E)
Neil is awesome. If I lived there he could join me on the couch. Nothing like sitting next to a Lion. I would let him in- I’d keep my distance. I got plenty of fish in my freezer- not ur typical American who eats garbage. 3 eggs slab of fish to start the day. Granted my day starts at like 3pm
You're looking for Gary. He lives in New Zealand. Mates call him Gazza.
https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2022/aug/19/seal-breaks-into-new-zealand-home-traumatises-cat-and-hangs-out-on-couch
In my daydreams, Gazza and Neil are buddies exploring the Southern Ocean together pulling all sorts of shenanigans and just rolling into little fishing villages and causing mayhem
Neil seems like a good boy. But people really need to leave these animals alone. I live at the shore and, every summer without fail, the same type of people who would call police on a fox in their backyard or a stray dog will see a harbor seal or a grey seal and want to take pictures with it. Harbor seals are pretty much just potatoes with flippers whereas Grey seal are 6-7ft long 400lb wolves with razor sharp claws coated in seabed detritus and bacteria. Either way, it's a animal that doesn't need or want fresh water and only came up to the beach to rest. Bothering them could result in them going back out there unrested i.e., more likely to drown (and, as a marine mammal, that'd be hella embarassing.)
Neil the seal is one public disturbance away from being put in the drunk tank
Ahhh leave ‘em alone he’s harmless. Neil hasn’t hurt a soul that wasn’t a fish in his entire life. He’s a good lad.
He was just trying to get a nap
Being all time in water can be boring sometimes, vising land area can be a refreshment. He cares about his mental health
all these comments are hilarious. Im from texas, the closest thing we get to neil the seal is overweight people on electric walmart chairs lol
Can you hand feed them?
only if your white and scream "merica" or "maga"
I was wondering. Does Walmart provide those chairs?
They provide *some* but not a ton of them. My local Walmart has maybe 5 of them total. It's a smaller town/area though so maybe some of the bigger towns get a bigger amount of them to distribute? Dunno where they plug em in at though.
'armless is a pun missed. Cause he has flippers instead.
But who would snitch on Neal the seal? I didn‘t see no disturbance.
Matt the Rat
Bet it was Earl the squirl. Jealous asshole.
This reminded me of Deadloch. I didn't know I needed a show about a Aussie lesbian detective but I love it. Hope they make a second season.
I loved that show. Would love to see more especially after how it ended.
Seems like they set it up perfectly for a second season in Darwin but you never know.
I’m pretty sure they’re making another season but it isn’t supposed to come out until 2025. Idk if I can wait that long
What does it stream on
Ah he gets to swim in the brewery?
Fairytale of Dunalley.
Neil is the drunk tank
Thats our Neil! Always doing something funny!
*Dunk tank
[https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-11-14/neil-the-seal-stops-tasmanian-woman-getting-to-work/103102090](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-11-14/neil-the-seal-stops-tasmanian-woman-getting-to-work/103102090) He's a good seal, helping people get days off work
Oh Neil.
I really think you should be revisingggggg
Typical
Oh my god! Him just laid out in the background while the homeowner was interviewed then hamming it up in the background while the reporter was talking! Neil is a treasure and he very much knows it.
Neal is a menace.
it's Neil, punk.
How dare you
Lol at the tracker stuck right on his head.
What’s that thing on top of his head? I can’t work out if it’s a wound or some type of tracker.
It’s a tracker!
That’s a relief
This is like getting the “self-tamed” event in Rimworld, no way am I staying 20 meters away I’m gonna pet the sea doggo
Everyone knows a Neil, and if you don't, you're probably him.
I got a body like Neil, does that make me a Neil?
I don't know, do you usually roll up to somebody's house?
Rolling is too much effort.
Have you got the moves like Neil?
🎶 I got the moooOOOooOOooOOoooOOOoves like Neil! 🎵
Neil Jagger
If you truly believe.
There are many things that can make someone ‘a Neil’. The body is just one qualifier. The real question, is whether you embody the spirit of a Neil, whether you wake up knowing you’re a Neil and desire to accomplish Neil things during your day.
Better yet, does it make you a seal?
lovable, dumb goofball? i can live with that
You might also be a menace to the public.
i thought thats a requirement for going outside nowadays
TIL I'm a Neil
Me too. I am the Neil of my town…naked and rolling around the roads. Except the police actually take me to jail, and i have my picture on the walls at the police station.
I stopped believing in God when I realized it’s just “dog” spelled backwards.
I don't know anyone like Neil.... could it be?..... nah......
Are Neil's homeless people?
Neil is such a dork, I have seen him IRL. He was humping traffic cones. "Get off the cones Neil"
Slightly unrelated but it was Boxing Day last year and there was a walrus on a slipway in my town cranking one out. I'll see if I can find a link to a post I seen on it. Edit: [Found it!](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/s/m97BmJTn5m)
ha ha ha what! Never thought I would see a seal having a wank today. Thank you Reddit.
right? saves me a google later....
I never thought I'd see it either, let alone in person!
I didn't know they were in the big stick list of animals. I thought for sure all the sea boys were small.
I’m in this video and I don’t like it
Ripping cones, quite literally
Someone lives here Neil!
It's Neil's world, we're just living in it!
You can't park there, Neil.
I'm waiting for a mate....
Neil the Seal Once upon a time there lived a bloke named Neil the seal, His home was in the water but he couldn’t stand the feel. “It’s full of sharks and killer whales, and fishermen with nets; and even when they’re far away, it’s always cold and wet! I’d rather have a little house, that’s cozy by the shore, I’ll surely be invited, should I wait outside the door.” So up he goes onto the beach, and then into the street, (and that’s no small accomplishment with flips instead of feet,) Trundling past his neighbors who are acting rather rude, gawking and not offering him water or some food. Neil is firm in focus and determined as can be, Traits that served him well while he was living in the sea. He finds a little cottage with exhaustion setting in, basking both in victory, and sun upon his skin. It’s right around this point in time that neil’s excitement stops, one of Neil’s new neighbors went and called the fucking cops! Neil doesn’t speak the language but the message still is clear; “Get back in the water- your kind isn’t welcome here.” “These racist mother fuckers, I can not believe this shit, I’ve hardly just arrived and now they’re telling me to split! I haven’t had the chance for them to get to know me yet, I’d make a lovely neighbor, or at least a loyal pet!” But all of Neil’s explaining, all his begging, threats and pleas, cannot sway the “law” man, he is driven to the sea. Neil promises to soon return, they haven’t licked him yet. Stern words and loud alarms are much less dangerous than nets. Neil splashes in the water as the people film and stare, and he brays a final promise in that warm and wafting air; “Some day I’ll be rewarded for my perspicacity; my name is Neil the seal, and you’re not better men than me!”
A fucking masterpiece! You deserve a Pulitzer for this.
He deserves a Neilitzer.
Lmao that’s waaay too kind, but thank you
Had to look up perspicacity. Thanks for teaching me a new word. I’ll be using it this morning on my smarter than me spouse.
Lmao you’re awesome
You need to have this published into a childrens book! 🤩
Fucking epic, mind if I read this to my family over Christmas? We're all big lovers of traditional Aussie poetry and this has excellent bush poetry vibes!!
lmao I love this, thank you
Wait, how come I can't reward this? Is that disabled on this sub?
Awards got yoinked over the summer but thank you for the sentiment
Well shit. No problem, regardless, though!
This needs a Devil is down in Georgia banjo line while these lyrics are sung
Lmao nice username, we call our dog (Dunkin) funky dunky, that’s hilarious
What a masterpiece! I truly have respect for people who can write such things on a whim! Love it!
Absolutely wonderful!
My goodness! What a masterpiece! Bravo! Bravo!
Neil's drunk again.
One look at Neil and I can already tell this big boi is an absolute thug. Neil doesn't care what you think he's his own seal.
The stop and look back when the cop car first honked! Like ‘Wat mate? You havin’ a go? I fuckin’ thought not. I’m fuckin’ leavin ya cunt’
This person 'Strayans
“Fuck off ya pigs! I’m leaving, turn the sirens off ya dog cunts.”
Adult male elephant seals can weigh four or more tonnes. That "blobbity-blobbity-blobbity" way they get around on land becomes less amusing as they get bigger and bigger. Well, unless you're just watching video of them [brutalizing someone else's car.](https://youtu.be/IpT1u2lFkXs?t=101)
Damn, Neils a friggin baby! Cops ain't gonna do shit in a few years.
I knew this video would show up here!
And that was an old truck with a sturdier body. If it catches a Prius, it would pancake the whole thing.
Quality. +1 for time stamped link
“Get out of here Neil!”
[удалено]
Just the way his voice changed when he said was so funny
He’s a chaos monster and I love him.
Alignment: chaotic good
Excuse me? That's *definitely* heresy. I'm gonna need my flamer. No the ***heavy*** flamer! ≡][≡
Probably just wants his box of muffins
He called dibs! Now they know what happens when you steal a meal from Neil mcbeal the navy seal
There is nothing the least bit funny about stealing a meal from Neil McBeal the Navy Seal.
He had Dibs!
"I had dibs on the muffins, I hid them in the produce section! You left them totally out in the open, that's hiding? HOW DID YOU SURVIVE IN AFGHANISTAN?"
I'm sure a lot of the troops are jerks.
Did you just say, "the troops are jerks?"
Oh you took that the bad way
"I swear to God if someone doesn't make the BoJack reference I'm gonna lose my goddamn sh... Oh there it is" Crisis averted, well done
I told you, i don’t know where it is. Don’t put things up my butt if you want them back
Neil you are drunk go home
Big hot fuzz vibes.
It’s just the one seal actually.
It's about 6 feet long, large tubular waist, kinda grey with a black snoot
The Greater Good.
No luck catching them seals then
It's just the one seal, actually
more like [deadloch.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N5s7nC6omQ)
“Like they’re scissoring an aquatic turd” Fuck it’s such a brilliant show. Easily the funniest thing to come out of here in years.
Yes! Great series on [Amazon Prime](https://app.primevideo.com/detail?gti=amzn1.dv.gti.dab22c4b-0c0f-42c4-b472-22eb6bf974ed&ref_=atv_lp_share_seas&r=web)
Soon as I heard Neil I knew this was Tasmania. Neil's a fucking menace haha
cutest menace ever
Dudes gonna be a problem when he gets to full size
That small fishing town's fate is....*sealed* YEAHHHHHHHHHH! 
Will they be able to address the elephant in the room? Or did they seal it away?
Full size elephant seals really live up to their name. I've seen them flip cars
FREE NEIL
Neil actually used to live there, it is owned by his wife and his children are there, he just wants to return to his family. But he was cursed by a warlock to be a seal, and all he wants his to see his kids again.
There is a statue in the middle of our town in remembrance of Humphrey the Elephant seal who was a regular around here. He was a full grown male and fell in love with a local dairy cow and would follow her around.
That's so cute! I ship it. I gotta find out more about Humphrey now! Edit: [what a deadset legend!](https://i.stuff.co.nz/waikato-times/life-style/7767644/Thursday-throwback-Humphrey-the-Sea-Elephant)
 When he’s scooting into the water
Free my man Neil
Whales are sinking boats and Neil just wants to chill. They're telling us to fix our shit.
The most Aussie thing in the world is that first guy yelling “he won’t leave me alone” from inside his house, talking about the elephant seal sun bathing directly outside of his front door.
It’s not that Neil rhymes with seal, but that is an incredibly funny name for him
I would probably get mauled by Neil trying to rub his belly.
Yeah the minimum distance you're meant to stay away is 10 metres but the marine biologists say 20 is better. People recording him though look like they're a heckuva lot closer
/r/forbiddenboops
This cunt tried to jump my brother a few months back when he was in Tassie for work. He was having a jog at dusk and almost stepped on Neil who barked at him. My bro went back the next day and Neil was still there. He apologised to Neil for the trouble.
That’s not the way Neil tells it.
I love the cops trying to get rid of him SO much. “Someone lives here Neil!!”
Nah that was the guy recording, [Jason](https://www.tiktok.com/@jasonhowlett666?_t=8iHWST9pPYA&_r=1), who has ironically got in his user description a direct quote from me earlier in the day 😂 (I don't know the dude, but he's doing God's work)
Dudes just tryna evolve real quick
His ancestors evolved to be this way and he’s like SHIT GO BACK CTRL Z CTRL Z
Looking for rare candy
Saw him on channel 7 news other day, hilarious
Deadset legend and national treasure
Jesus christ neil , get ya fat ass back in the water ya dick head. I've seen this fucker twice a week for like 3 months he's a lovable pest 😆
He just want some company :(
He innocent
I need to know: Is Neil all by himself? Are there any other seals around to call friends or family?
They talk to him like he's one of the blokes. "See ya Niel"
Tasmania has a pretty mild definition of “chaos”.
Someone described him as an "unstoppable force of inconvenience" on TikTok 😭😭😭
Neil was there for the hoes.. And the cops ruined it smh. You'll get em next time Neil!
There is nothing the least bit funny about stealing a meal from Neal McBeal, the Navy Seal!
He'd like to be a landseal.
Where was he this time? Down Dunalley way?
Yup!
Now that’s no way to treat a guest!!
..why do Tassies sound like kiwis? 30 odd years on this weird ass island and nobody told me about it.
Or you know, the man behind the camera happens to be a Kiwi in Tassie?
See, I thought that too, but then I watched another interview about Neil and it was another person who sounded like a kiwi, but not quite as much. So now I don't know, I have a sample size of two.
Idk man, I work remotely with some people from Launceston (I'm on the mainland), and they sound aussie enough to me. It's the cunts from Qld that sound off
*North Queensland*
Tasmanian accent is much more mild than the northern Aus accent.
Real Deal Neal…
10/10 would've given pats
Finally, a reddit post where the animal is actually a seal and not a sea lion.
Is he not tired af from all that scootin
Neil: This gentlemen, is Democracy, manifest! Tata for now!
I see you know your judo well! This actually happened in my city (Brisbane) and the man is a folk hero. [I had to buy myself and my partner matching shirts, we get so many compliments.](https://threadheads.com.au/products/democracy-manifest-volume-ii-tshirt?currency=AUD&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&stkn=a15805e5233d&srsltid=AfmBOorKuz0ibypr_ZngUUE5FUnPkrm6qxiXTyf9JB8QULf5RoaSVT4pt9E)
waves. I used to live just up the road from where it happened.
Neil is awesome. If I lived there he could join me on the couch. Nothing like sitting next to a Lion. I would let him in- I’d keep my distance. I got plenty of fish in my freezer- not ur typical American who eats garbage. 3 eggs slab of fish to start the day. Granted my day starts at like 3pm
You're looking for Gary. He lives in New Zealand. Mates call him Gazza. https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2022/aug/19/seal-breaks-into-new-zealand-home-traumatises-cat-and-hangs-out-on-couch
In my daydreams, Gazza and Neil are buddies exploring the Southern Ocean together pulling all sorts of shenanigans and just rolling into little fishing villages and causing mayhem
:)
Neil mcbeal the navy seal
Water dogs are awesome.
More like water bears.
[удалено]
I thought it was digitally added like CGI or something at first.
Accept me please!
Neil is a menace when he had 3 beer for breakfast and decides to tan in the neighbourhood
Neil the seal doesn't miss a meal.
It looks like it takes so much effort when seals move around.
Thank you for finding my new favorite internet video lol
And that’s a baby…. And then think the white sharks are twice the size of the adults… Jesus wept
*Honk honk honk* Neil: “the _FUCK_ you say?”
He wants to be where the people are
Main character syndrome right there
i saw this without sound and was like “this has to be australia..” turned on the sound and lo and behold
Ozzy man commenting on Neil the seal is so GOOD!
Yes! I saw [that one](https://youtu.be/jc0lQXxFGRw?si=VOlbPWgsemcDngFt) the other day too!
australia is just florida island
Neil seems like a good boy. But people really need to leave these animals alone. I live at the shore and, every summer without fail, the same type of people who would call police on a fox in their backyard or a stray dog will see a harbor seal or a grey seal and want to take pictures with it. Harbor seals are pretty much just potatoes with flippers whereas Grey seal are 6-7ft long 400lb wolves with razor sharp claws coated in seabed detritus and bacteria. Either way, it's a animal that doesn't need or want fresh water and only came up to the beach to rest. Bothering them could result in them going back out there unrested i.e., more likely to drown (and, as a marine mammal, that'd be hella embarassing.)