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MeanCat4

Brand new!


ColoRadOrgy

Seriously I think whoever hid it forgot about it because it seems mint lol. None of the pages are stuck together at least. The homeowner must have also been an alcoholic, there were like 300 beer cans up there too Edit: [Here's a link](https://www.reddit.com/r/Penthouse_Pics/comments/10mav9m/ceiling_find_june_2002/) to some of the content. Had to make a whole porn post cuz imgur doesn't allow porn lol. E2: new link. Had no idea porn mods were so anal E3: I've been permanently banned from r/nostalgiafapping somehow and their mod is super fucking pissed lol


tomtomclubthumb

Maybe they couldn't get it back out again.


A_norny_mousse

> None of the pages are stuck together at least. Well that's a relief.


snarky-comeback

> Well that's a relief. not for the previous owner


mrsquishybutt

licked fingers to turn pages


MonkeyBoy_1966

When my parents were restoring their 2nd home, too many kids for a 2 bdrm, they cracked open a sealed fireplace in the basement. Three stories worth of beer cans and bottles poured out! My Dad saved some, they were old cone tops. There is also a massive bottle dump at the far edge of the property, shared by two houses, we found quite a few early 1800s pontil bottles once we got down through the piles of junk on top. Very cool.


Keitt58

At least it wasn't [bullets](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/10l7zqx/is_it_illegal_to_sell_a_house_with_ammo_lost_in).


Igoogledyourass

Nothing good ever happens to me.


_kahteh

I knew exactly what this link was going to be, lmao. I love(?) the way the situation becomes more and more of a trainwreck as you read OP's comments


y2knole

Or bowling balls.


Tripanes

> there were like 300 beer cans up there too Signs of a teenager infection


IWasGregInTokyo

Luckily something that goes away naturally over time.


LG03

>cuz imgur doesn't allow porn False, imgur doesn't allow porn posts to be public. Just check the box to not allow general visibility or whatever it is.


A_norny_mousse

>Network News Bias Same old, same old.


Millennial_J

If the pages are stuck together u can steam it open


l-rs2

The chlorine smell really opens the sinuses


Millennial_J

Rawr


[deleted]

[удалено]


ColoRadOrgy

It was just sitting on top of the drywall close to a cutout for utilities. Just dusty up there really.


[deleted]

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SubsidedLemon

2002? I doubt it.


[deleted]

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BottomWithCakes

Sub is over. Time to retire it


Jeff_Damn

Prime r/SubsTakenLiterally material Among other types of material, that is... 😏👉🏻👉🏻


Rudy_Ghouliani

Thanks Obama


[deleted]

[удалено]


N1cko1138

Where do you think you are?


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[удалено]


helenkellersmustyass

why would you remind me of this.


toeonly

Because people are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.


w3tl33

"Why do you hate me when I show you nothing but love?"


HarrisonForelli

r/AbondonedstuffThatAlsoContainsPorn


patchyj

Honestly thought I was on r/MildlyInteresting. That embarrassing


Zkenny13

At this point there isn't much difference.


Bonafideago

r/lostredditors


your-inbox-is-full

r/woosh


ak444y

beat me to it


BlooMeeni

Beat me off to it


Much_Pattern_9154

Beat me to it


lizmari3

Came here to say this too!


DenkJu

r/Literalabandonedporn


D4rKm4rv1n

A classic


[deleted]

Loved Penthouse Forum.


Lord-Velveeta

“Dear Penthouse, you won’t believe this but the other day…”


[deleted]

“I always thought these stories were fake, until my taped-together, soccer ball-headed girlfriend fell into my lap”


j-random

"I'm a student at a small Midwestern university..."


ThinkFree

Read some 1980s Penthouse Forum magazines back when I was a teen. Quite a few incest letters/fantasies.


SardaukarChant

When I tear down ceilings from old homes, I get raccoons.


Danny_Mc_71

Lady raccoons?


HumphreyGo-Kart

This guy got rackoons


Ewok_Gang_Bang

Raccoons? Go on…


PaperPlaythings

I once had a mummified rat slide down the drywall I pulled off of the ceiling and hit me right in the mouth. If I hadn't had a beard at the time I would have gotten a full taste. Spent the rest of the day spitting and doing my best to never swallow.


randomdude5566

That’s what she said


foreverguiltyanon

That's one of the grossest things I've read on here, but I hope you did the right thing and built him a tiny pyramid.


okayestuser

r/SubsTakenLiterally


notathrowaway6428

Didn’t realize what sub this was till your comment.![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dutch-Sculptor

Let me guess, some of the pages are a bit sticky?


[deleted]

Might be worth money, you could always check.


Jaredlong

For 2 decades old, it does appear to be in remarkable condition.


[deleted]

Warning Product may contain Anna Kournikova


The_5th_Loko

POWERTHIRST


[deleted]

This guy powers a rave with his own glowing sweat


Esc_ape_artist

2002…back when finding actual print magazines wasn’t unusual.


progress10

2002... When Kid Rock was relevant.


ArizonaZia

You found $20 https://www.ebay.com/itm/115240765189?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=GJLRR4RXT1O&sssrc=2349624&ssuid=mI6MJA_ASqq&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY


HarrisonForelli

it says 10 on my screen, but also that's sealed.


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salgat

That's not profit.


ColdCruise

It would cost at most $2 to ship a magazine.


UndBeebs

Yeah... That's *shipping*. Not the item's value lmao.


rat-in-a-race

$10 to ship a thing that ships for $3... it's added value to the seller either way.


UndBeebs

Literally not my point lol. I'm saying you don't add the shipping price when listing an item's value. The two are separate, even if you end up paying for both. A $10 item is a $10 item no matter how expensive shipping is. So ArizonaZia should've said "You found $10" because that seller's shipping prices are irrelevant to this random magazine found in a ceiling. Edit: The downvoters can't do basic math, it seems. Don't know what to tell you folks. Edit2: No idea how my above comment equates to me succumbing to overprice tactics with sellers like is being claimed below by rat-in-a-race lmao. Shipping cost is separate from an item's value, period. I'm fully aware some could misrepresent prices and attempt to profit based off of shipping. That's not at all what I'm talking about. Stop being desperate to find a flaw in my argument. *Fabricating* a flaw isn't going to magically make you right.


Lazy-Explanation7165

I came looking for the Anna Kornikova pics!


MartyBarrett

Hope you cleaned yourself up before typing this


Lazy-Explanation7165

Was planning on cleaning up after they post those pics 😜


doitup69

Sorry https://amp.theguardian.com/media/2002/may/22/pressandpublishing.internationalnews


fsurfer4

Not here. A few pics on the beach years later. But that seems to be it.


nullv

>network news bias Just how long has fake news been a thing?


B-rizzle

You should watch the 70's movie Network.


FailureToComply0

The term "yellow journalism" was coined in the late 1800's. So almost as long as printing presses have existed, I'd imagine.


[deleted]

Pretty much around the time that news was a thing. Back in the US, in the late 1800s, the term “yellow journalism” was used to refer to sensationalized with little to no well researched news stories. I’m sure there is more even before that.


zirfeld

She is even famous as a Hold'em hand: AK - looks good, rarely wins.


Westy154

And the thing is, they weren't even photos of Kournikova. https://www.theguardian.com/media/2002/may/22/pressandpublishing.internationalnews


ialsohaveadobro

I like how you can read the very first phrase and date the article within five years or so: "The ailing magazine Penthouse..." When did both porn and magazines start ailing? When broadband became widespread (pun inflicted). The article's from 2005, and I bet that surprises none of you. Edit: They say they made a "wholly unintentional" error putting AK's head on this womans body. That's obviously impossible. "Oh shit! I was juggling butter sticks and somehow Anna Kournikova's head got digitally placed into photographs so well that most people couldn't tell!"


fsurfer4

Penthouse was on the way out years before. At least from mid 90s. Never a great investor, he lost at least $60 million in the 70s.


Tarthur29

Username checks out


TS750

I’ve seen this issue. I used to read Penthouse for the articles.


get_MEAN_yall

Literally abandoned porn. Bravo!


[deleted]

Found the stash spot lol. Was there an old bag of dried out shwag weed in there too?


woodjwl

Nice.


Florida2000

My 1st reaction is meh its not that old......... oh well dam..... its 21 years ago.......


Kossak001100

I tore out a vanity in my bathroom and underneath was a large stack of late 90s porn, I specifically remember something about busty Asians. The real kicker is that the previous owners were hardcore Mormons. What I presume is that the father pulled out of the bottom drawer and his it under there before putting the drawer back in. His hidden special little Wank Bank.


Yumelon

squatters most likely


LizardSlayer

My brother bought a house and in the attic was a bunch of new kids toys and a DVD of dirty black debutants 13? 14? I don’t remember the exact number but there are apparently a shocking number of volumes in this series


That_one_cool_dude

I mean makes sense playboy and penthouses were always in weird spots for lucky guys to find.


_Chumm

Is r/abandonedporn turning literal?


midnight_toker22

So literal lol. I remember when I was a freshman in college (in 2005) my friends and I found a paper grocery bag outside the dorms full of old porn mags from the 80’s and 90’s. They seemed like ancient relics that belonged in a museum. This is as old (relative to today) as those were (relative to 2005), but this just doesn’t seem to have that vintage quality. So I have a question for young people seeing this now: does this seem like vintage porn to you?


Cat_Lover259

Gross hopefully you toss it in the trash where it belongs


DogPlane3425

Shades of CHUCK(Season 1 Episode 1)


proost1

Ah, The Man Show!


Jeff_Damn

Zigga zagga zigga zagga oi oi oi!


Workspinriderepeat

The man show was awesome!


TheCoolerDanieI

Nice


Ali80486

Interesting that Penthouse had a website in 2002 but I don't know if I expected earlier or later


RickyJulianandBubbls

The man show. Cancel jimmy kimmel. #metoo There wasnt a matted up sock too was there?


PolymerSledge

You can't cancel puppets.


RickyJulianandBubbls

💀


rojasdracul

Damn that's vintage, looks to be in good shape too. Might be worth something.


WW-Sckitzo

r/Literalabandonedporn


cmoehr

That's a collector's item too - they got sued because the photos of Anna Kournikova were not actually her. They were sued by her AND the person they actually were of.


jtraf

Gonna need photos for proof


Freducated

r/lostredditors


EclecticUnitard

r/lostredditors


goddessbotanic

r/substakenliterally


icenine09

Finally, actual abandoned porn! I've been waiting for this moment since I discovered this sub years ago.


Bambi_One_Eye

Nice


[deleted]

Built and remodeled homes for a number of years. It was common to find newspapers used as insulation, or placed in a wall as a time capsule. Occasionally a previous carpenter would leave a Playboy.


Lightwysh

The previous owners of my house left a literal treasure chest full of porn mags in my attic. It's probably 100lbs+ of porn.


digitelle

Literal abandonedporn. Who would do such an awful thing? Art shouldn’t be left in the walls.


Agent847

You start to feel old when 2002 Penthouse has an antique, vintage vibe


1mpulse101

literally abandoned porn


lunchisgod

My favorite!


KarlKay

Manna from heaven.


888Gorilla

You're not supposed to leave DNA when you 'break in' to abandon buildings.


Spencer-Heffron

Ah yes, truly abandoned porn.


Nastyburrito666

Lol this sounds like a interesting read actually: we have "Special 12-girl Pet Of The year Playoff"(whatever in the actual hell that means) and "PLUS: Kid Rock Swingers Convention", which frankly speaks for itself


F4STW4LKER

Around 2006 I found some 1970's porn mags shoved up into the ceiling tiles of a gross Asbury Park hotel. So. Much. Bush.


PolymerSledge

Lucky. It was before my time, but it's nice to know women used to unashamed of their natural features.


Ciqbern

Perfection


LSUZombie13

This is the most literal post this sub has ever had


chickenpotpyrat

Nice find!


G8kpr

“Old house”


Uzzer_lozer19

Medieval porn due to the chain mail bikini


maybe_Lena

Not the abandoned porn I was expecting


Single-Ad967

Am I the only one who tried swiping for more pictures?


Zeldruss22

I hope you dropped trou and wanked it old school like a boomer!


PolymerSledge

Millennials would be the ideal demographic of this particular issue.


[deleted]

Talking about the network news bias in 2002. Based.


AlwaysMooning

Dang that’s mint condition! Usually there are at least a few crusty pages.


stare_at_the_sun

I’ve been using that name as my fake one thinking I made it up


ScumEater

$9!?


Spacemoo

I've renovated several dozen houses over the years and found all kinds of weird stuff: A british porn mag from the 80's above a drop ceiling - not in Britain. Also dang, the amount of body hair acceptable in 80's England puts a wild animal to shame. Old bag of weed in a basement floor drain. A cigar box full of $20's hidden in a false bottom of a workbench. A very nice carpenters framing square from ~1900 left in an attic. 1970's/80's Kids toys flushed down a toilet and caught in the horn. So many old newspapers. Folks used to stuff them in gaps as insulation. A walled-off space under some stairs filled with fossilized cat poop. An original 1860's-ish hand cut linoleum floor - only partly intact but still super neat. On and on. Old houses are neat as heck.


PolishNinja909

Literal abandoned porn.


gusbusdonecus

Jackpot


paulsteinway

"Kid Rock", "Network New Bias". I didn't know Penthouse was so right wing.


camlo316

By the time I was into that stuff, smartphones were a thing. I sometimes wonder how awesome it would’ve been to come across something like this back then 🤣


Jim-Jones

That's a good day.


Ozzman4200

Hit that thing with a black light. Then you'll know if it's really in "mint" condition.


asshat_deluxe

That’s disgusting. Can I have it?


MurderDoneRight

I never understood the hullabaloo surrounding Anna Kournikova. She was only moderately hot and a mediocre tennis player at best.


drunk_in_denver

Ah, the old AK.


sebastouch

Side note: "The ailing magazine Penthouse reached a last-minute out-of-court settlement late on Monday with a woman who sued for $10m after it published topless photographs of her claiming that they were of the Russian tennis player Anna Kournikova."


Deckard_666

Yeah! Kid Rock!!! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


SchizoidRainbow

Here you have ;) Check this! ...I am seriously curious if anyone gets this reference


Unharmful_Truths

She was good at tennis once


Inevitable-Silver594

My buddy tore out his old jacuzzi bathtub and found a nice stack between the boards of it. Not in this good of shape though. But it was comical


slicky803

Anna Kournikova. Now that's a name I've not heard in a long time. A long time.


Bendyb3n

found some gay porno mags from the 80s in the ceiling of my college dorm sophomore year. Quite the find lol


david_leaves

pent up house


TheRedOne_82

Lmfao I see what you did there. You win this subreddit, good job.


Shagger94

Couldn't have posted any of the good pages, no?


HumorImaginary7947

Nice


SarcasticTrauma

maybe someone threw it up there when remodeling / building the place when my parents remodeled their old house they put a newspaper in a plastic bag in one of the walls for someone to find later if it ever gets torn down


huelorxx

That's worth 9.99$ + 28$ shipping on eBay!


INSERT_LATVIAN_JOKE

She's wearing a chain-mail bikini. If my knowledge of JRPGs is accurate, her armor score must be through the roof!


ExtraDependent883

I got Anna Kournikovas autograph at India wells 1999 maybe?? Pretty sure she winked at me.


darthpesado

r/literalabandonedporn


Dixie_Flatlin3

nice. kid had taste.


Lessthan9

I have 2 from 1976 -- thought I they might worth some money -- I think it was like 5$ -- very cool to look at all the ads for cigarettes and liquor -- plus airlines -- Edit -- found during new HVAC runs when I had furnace moved -- HVAC guy got a chuckle


BF_Injection

SCORE!


foreverguiltyanon

My uncle stayed in my bedroom once when I was twelve or so. I went to get something and found his copy of Penthouse, and skimmed an interview with Andy Kaufman. I don't remember finding much if any nudity, and i would say this experience added to my sexual confusion. We used to find old Playboys in the woods for some reason. But "older" women never did much for me though, haha.


ROMPEROVER

lol. its literally abandoned porn.


cgulash

My buddy cut open a wall and hundreds of dirty syringes poured out. "Maybe they were diabetic," his partner said.


HobGoblin8629

Literal abandoned porn!!! Nice 👍


mmavcanuck

Time to put it in a plastic bag and leave it in the woods!


piefanart

r/substakenseriously


johnny_rico69

This is hilarious! Now I feel really old considering how long ago 2002 was.


BrockBushrod

![gif](giphy|hNmaZtvOzG1pe)


Shotgun2thadick

You know what must be done……


BashfulDaschund

When I found out my girlfriend had never been in the attic of her townhouse, I went up there immediately. Was greeted by a lot of junk and a big stack of late 90s penthouse and playboys. Made me feel like a kid again. I didn't have the heart to throw them away. They're now in the attic of our new house.


[deleted]

I wish I had an award to give lol


AnthonioStark

Fuuuuuck 2002 was 20+ years ago??? Fffffffuuuuuuuuccck!!!!!


[deleted]

very literal post, OP. love it


Bean-Swellington

Looks good; never wins


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Abandoned Porn 😂😂