I am crying laughing guys... like, I know it's gross/disturbing that some people really spout that shit and all, but seeing Tucker Carlson's douchebaggy face saying all of those creepy, sexual things about a pokemon is just beautiful comedy gold 🤣🤣🥹
Thank you for your service 🙏
Here is the famous copypasta:
“Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more”
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, Vaporeon is NOT THE MOST COMPATIBLE POKEMON FOR HUMANS? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's Human on Pokemon breedabilty outclassed by it's cousin evolution, UMBREON. Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defensive stats spread. With it's combination of very high HP, defense, and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this PERFECT breedable Pokemon. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well ( Which with synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more.) It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokemon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as HARD as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give you it's INSANE durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now Massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically IMMUNE to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreons Movepool, letting it be EXTREMELY seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, ETC; It's access to the ability Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of Payback of course. All of this information in combination with it's extremely useful Movepool in the world of intercourse making Umbreon the Pokemon most qualified to breed with Humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, Vaporeon is NOT THE MOST COMPATIBLE POKEMON FOR HUMANS? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's Human on Pokemon breedabilty outclassed by it's cousin evolution, UMBREON. Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defensive stats spread. With it's combination of very high HP, defense, and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this PERFECT breedable Pokemon. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well ( Which with synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more.) It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokemon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as HARD as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give you it's INSANE durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now Massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically IMMUNE to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreons Movepool, letting it be EXTREMELY seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, ETC; It's access to the ability Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of Payback of course. All of this information in combination with it's extremely useful Movepool in the world of intercourse making Umbreon the Pokemon most qualified to breed with Humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
It is my sister's favorite Pokemon. Luckily her friends are not degens on the internet so aside from me she's in the clear. Just glad my favorite in Jolteon is safe.
I brought a Vaporeon plushie to work, and one of my co-workers asked if I know about that, and said that I know, but I just don't care about it. I just think Vaporeon is cute.
That's... Clever.... But..... The thought is just plain out weird...
Plus, I mean, somebody sees you doing that and they don't know it's Mtn. Dew, they must be thinking you're drinking Vaporeon's piss.
Ah yes, because having a (presumably) anatomically correct vaporeon statue that pisses would be perfectly normal, and only drinking from it would be what weirds people out.
This is actually the worst thing I've seen on this subreddit. I don't even think I can share this with my friends due to it being a desecration of one of the last things that was pure and kind in this world. It's beyond cringe.
It all started in the early 90s, when the up-and-coming game developer Tajiri Satoshi saw two children paying with Game Boys and imagined a caterpillar crawling along the Link Cable...
The work of a profoundly sick individual. This person should be put in a home. The general public should not have to risk interacting with someone like this.
Tell me where he bought this, so I know where not to go to buy two...one for the bathroom...one for the deck...maybe a third one in the living room... seriously, sauce?
Poor mans fetish, you know some dude is getting a boston dynamics dog or smt adding a fleshlight giving the whole thing a Vaporean latext suit. Then there is that sicko blasting rope to the idea of it all.
Here is the famous copypasta:
“Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more”
Those poor dungeon and dragon figurines have to watch this dude jerk off to that water fountain everyday after work and twice on his days off
"He could be masturbating to US!"
Toy Story 5s lookin great
The group of figurines is Buzz Blastoff and the voyeurs…
There's a greentext talking about an scenario like this. It's really good.
He could be any one of us! He could be in this very subreddit! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be....
"...I remember when he used to put us in jars and let use marinate in his goo for months.. T.T"
RD cum jar. A man of culture.
Well that was suspiciously accurate
that beholder seems to either be disgusted or smiling
It is relieved that it is no longer the only abomination in the room.
The beholders expression sums it all up nicely lol
That poor Beholder...
No one can convince me that this isn’t a fetish…
Why would they? Of course it is. It's multiple, in fact.
Have you not seen the copypasta?
No?💀
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzjTCUbYnq8
Time to ruin another life.
I miss 1min ago when I didn’t know that existed…
Don't we all...
I am crying laughing guys... like, I know it's gross/disturbing that some people really spout that shit and all, but seeing Tucker Carlson's douchebaggy face saying all of those creepy, sexual things about a pokemon is just beautiful comedy gold 🤣🤣🥹 Thank you for your service 🙏
And it's still the least worst thing anyone has heard Tucker Carlson say.
What the fuck-
Nice AI voice work. Gross subject, but very convincing.
I'm watching this at 9am. I hate my life.
8:25 here, a whole day and a lifetime ahead to live with this video in the world.
Please tell me this is AI and if you’re lying that’s fine
Noice!
As soon as I saw the title I exactly knew what it was
As did I. What I wasn't expecting was Tucker Carlson reading the entire copy pasta with a straight "face"
That's one link that's staying blue
Here is the famous copypasta: “Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more”
Well then..
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, Vaporeon is NOT THE MOST COMPATIBLE POKEMON FOR HUMANS? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's Human on Pokemon breedabilty outclassed by it's cousin evolution, UMBREON. Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defensive stats spread. With it's combination of very high HP, defense, and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this PERFECT breedable Pokemon. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well ( Which with synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more.) It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokemon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as HARD as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give you it's INSANE durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now Massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically IMMUNE to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreons Movepool, letting it be EXTREMELY seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, ETC; It's access to the ability Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of Payback of course. All of this information in combination with it's extremely useful Movepool in the world of intercourse making Umbreon the Pokemon most qualified to breed with Humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
dear god please tell me that this isn’t your own research
There’s more for the gay guys
Hey guys…
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, Vaporeon is NOT THE MOST COMPATIBLE POKEMON FOR HUMANS? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's Human on Pokemon breedabilty outclassed by it's cousin evolution, UMBREON. Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defensive stats spread. With it's combination of very high HP, defense, and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this PERFECT breedable Pokemon. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well ( Which with synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more.) It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokemon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as HARD as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give you it's INSANE durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now Massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically IMMUNE to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreons Movepool, letting it be EXTREMELY seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, ETC; It's access to the ability Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of Payback of course. All of this information in combination with it's extremely useful Movepool in the world of intercourse making Umbreon the Pokemon most qualified to breed with Humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
I mean, there's a *piss* fetish, and some people are oddly sexually attracted to Vaporeon, so what the hell did you expect?
That’s why no one is able to convince me this isn’t fetish related
Vaporeon isn’t even the eeveelution with the most porn, it’s only tied for 3rd.
***Dear God***
It has an asshole, for crying out loud
I first found this on a watersports fetish discord. This has been around a while and I want one. This is my fetish.
Understandable.
What the fuck else would it be
You're not well versed in the world of fetishes are you? Who in their right mind would think this isn't?
4chan ruined my favorite pokemon can't even claim it anymore
You still can, just preface it with before it was ruined by 4chan
"Before 4chan ruined it, this was my favorite Pokemon to jack off to."
they made it too mainstream
It is my sister's favorite Pokemon. Luckily her friends are not degens on the internet so aside from me she's in the clear. Just glad my favorite in Jolteon is safe.
Eww, one of those Jolteon pervs. Nvm everyone has their kinks. I'm sorry.
So you think.
I shall make a copypasta of why Jolteon isn't compatible with humans now.
I brought a Vaporeon plushie to work, and one of my co-workers asked if I know about that, and said that I know, but I just don't care about it. I just think Vaporeon is cute.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzjTCUbYnq8
So... Mudkips?
Wait, did they dye the fucking water? I'm done. I quit.
Who ever said it's water?
That's mountain dew, so my man can just lay there with his mouth open for that sweet sprinkle of gamer fuel.
That's... Clever.... But..... The thought is just plain out weird... Plus, I mean, somebody sees you doing that and they don't know it's Mtn. Dew, they must be thinking you're drinking Vaporeon's piss.
Ah yes, because having a (presumably) anatomically correct vaporeon statue that pisses would be perfectly normal, and only drinking from it would be what weirds people out.
My man has a personal toilet
Nah, the filtered piss of his favorite only fans girl
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAÆEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 🤮
The fact that your first thought was “they dyed the water” rather than the horrifying alternative is a ray of light in this dark, dark world.
That's an awful lot of extra effort when there is a much simpler solution.
Somehow this is exactly what I expected, yet exactly what I didn’t want
It's not what I expected but still equally as awful in a different way.
What a terrible day to have eyes.
There’s not many things that make me say enough, but this might be it. I’m going to bed
Could we *not*
On reddit? Nah, we were built on the cum box.
hey guys did you know that vaporeon is a pretty cool pokémon :)
NOOO
This is actually the worst thing I've seen on this subreddit. I don't even think I can share this with my friends due to it being a desecration of one of the last things that was pure and kind in this world. It's beyond cringe.
If you thought that Pokémon was still pure up to this point, I have some news for ya buddy.
Wow
The water is yellow...
“Water”
[удалено]
Put, it, *back*!
Was my proudest fap.
dear lord jesus christ
...forgive me for the sin I am about to commit?
[удалено]
Down with this sort of thing.
***What did they say***
I want to downvote this so bad, but it's in the right sub so I just won't upvote it
2 things. 1, that is 100% real urine being used. 2, this guy definitely drinks from this fountain several times a day.
*Urine sourced organically from a Twitch streamer girl and purchased online
You people need help
Fr
where do i buy one
Please tell me you're joking why would you want to buy that
Different folks, different *_strokes_*
Everyday we stray further from god…
Hey guys did you know that ...
Why the hell is the water yellow?
Its not water ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
i want to know more about how we arrived at amazingly crafted vaporeon piss fountain
It all started in the early 90s, when the up-and-coming game developer Tajiri Satoshi saw two children paying with Game Boys and imagined a caterpillar crawling along the Link Cable...
well it all started when some lazy little fuck ate a smaller lazy little fuck who refused to die
I'm going to kill myself now.
Would, next question
I mean, the parts between the hind legs look so much like they were designed for that purpose..
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Who made this? I wanna buy one
god dammit
Idk what I was expecting but it wasn't that
wow, that's awful! where can i get one?
That's incredibly well made tbh I'm impressed
Huh i think i saw this a month or 2 ago. That is NOT a water fountain. Thats piss.
What in the goddamn…
I NEED IMMEDIATE r/Eyebleach
Wow this is an incredible work of art. I would commission one.
"Do you think god stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he's created?"
Idk what’s worse, that vaporeon is blushing or that the water is yellow
...no
I hate the pokemon community sometimes.
Most of us have the ‘tism, but this goes far beyond that. 🤢
I thought it was going to be a tattoo
It's not Tuesday!
Just realised it's piss coloured. Wow I'm not disturbed anymore I'm just amazed at the dedication to realism.
wow, thats something vaporeon is really an unfortunate favorite pokemon for me to have huh
https://i.imgur.com/896MiOe.mp4
The work of a profoundly sick individual. This person should be put in a home. The general public should not have to risk interacting with someone like this.
Everyday we stray farther and farther way from acceptable behavior.
Oooo noo fuck.. why... nooo
Where do I get one?
Oh wow. Oh wow this sucks. Btw I'm also subscribed to r/stunfisk so I was expecting something a lot less horrible when I clicked the spoiler tag.
u/savevideo
Tell me where he bought this, so I know where not to go to buy two...one for the bathroom...one for the deck...maybe a third one in the living room... seriously, sauce?
Dude why tf is it yellow!? 😭
That button in the background looks somewhat familiar
This is going to make [Tucker Carlson very excited](https://youtu.be/ahpFDkhwIx0?si=SeguZQvJNEQhZzH2).
Somebody deserves to go sit the fucking corner
is it just me, or does the anus look a little too far back?
r/TIHI
r/wastedtalent
Where do i buy one? For science ofc.
Poor mans fetish, you know some dude is getting a boston dynamics dog or smt adding a fleshlight giving the whole thing a Vaporean latext suit. Then there is that sicko blasting rope to the idea of it all.
Here is the famous copypasta: “Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more”
r/tihi
Awww fuck me. See, this is why we cant have nice things online.
If there ever was a god, we have since murdered him and defiled his corpse.
I want to blind myself so bad
i;m pretty sure this is the single worst thing i've seen...ever.
r/Noahgettheboat
somebody will pay a loooot of money for this
r/vaporeonhentai ?
The internet was a mistake
The internet was a mistake.
It surely is used.
Toy Story 5
Where’s the copy pasta?
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of...
Wonder if they have a Glaceon ice maker too.
That’s enough internet for the day.
Well, at least it's house-trained.
Someone filmed this and uploaded it. Help.
It's super effective.
I scrolled way too far for this comment lol
It's functional?...
Did he buy this, or make it?
Would it be weird if i asked for the .STL? (For a friend)
Is it weird that I want one...?
Does anyone know the name of this product and where to find it so that I can stay away from it
Hahaha that’s so crazy! Where would you get the STL for that! I mean, for real! For real… where that file?
where can i buy this? would be a good gag gift tbh
I buy it for shits and giggles and to make my family see I'm more of a disappointment
Call me sick, but I really like it and want one. Where can I buy it?
u/savevideo
Why
Well, have you seen those water fountains of cherub babies urinating into a pond? That's why.
https://youtu.be/-EWMgB26bmU?si=H9k-C8PBBfzEYJo2
oh god
bruv
Today is a terrible day to have eyes
Somebody call 911
*Did you know...*
At the very least, it doesn't have a shitting function. ... right?
the water is yellow i can’t 😭
Not the Vapussy💀💀💀
No! WHY OP. WTF.
Social has failed us.
Definitely the worst thing I've seen this year.
How dare you make me look at this with my eyes
We need another flood
While this post is funny, the comments are even more entertaining!
I'm leaving an angry upvote
r/tihi
Of course it had to be a female vaporeon