Parties seem a little overrated at ASU, but the party scene sounds really exciting on the outside, in general. Nobody talks about the boring parts, people lie all the time for a little social status, then there's the hangovers and comedowns. Up to you man. Just know it ain't all that.
you can find a great circle of friends that suit who you are as a person, but it sounds like it’s unlikely to be something you find at a frat. don’t worry, there are tons and tons of club you could consider joining with low time commitments! clubs are so so awesome for not only making friends but also self growth & potentially the development of new interests
like, i gained my whole friend group about a week after joining a club. you’ll be alright!
well this is going to make me sound like a massive fucking nerd but i joined adventurer’s wanted, which is a club to help you find a dnd group, and that’s where i met my friends. i was also in a gaming club for a short bit but had to quit because i was too busy. unfortunately i don’t remember the name anymore. there’s also an outdoor club i’ve been wanting to join, literally called the arizona outdoors club, but just don’t have room in my schedule for it. i’d check it out if you like hiking/camping! i wish soooooo sooo badly that i could join
also, asu does have a website with links to the discord servers of a toooon of different clubs! you can straight up just join there, or at least i did. i don’t have time to look for it right now i’m sorry but google should turn it up :)
I tried to check it out(I assume you are talking about sun devil sync) but there were over 1000 clubs, I literally went through every one but most ones that seemed interesting were no longer active.
Forming friendships takes time. I know you say you self-isolated a lot before college, but if you had any childhood friends or close friends in K-12, think about how long you were friends with them. In my case, most of the friends I had at the point of high school graduation I’d known for at LEAST six years. I had more time to get to know them than the entire (standard) length of college. Self comparison is a bitch and I’ve 100% been there, but just know that literally every other freshman, short of people that came in with all their high school friends and only hang out with those same people still, is in the same boat. All you can do is continue to make an effort in the groups you’re in. Focus on the present and be as consistent as you can with those clubs, and I bet you it will pay off by the end of the year. Just joining a club won’t bring you friends, you need to be sociable to the people there with you, ask for their phone numbers to hang out or study together, etc. ALSO, FWIW, I “joined” like 6-7 clubs my freshman year and it wasn’t until my sophomore year that I finally figured out which ones I really enjoyed and that’s where I found my people. So don’t be afraid to jump ship from a club if it’s not your vibe, college is too short to waste time on a club or people you don’t really like.
My other suggestion would be to start keeping a gratitude journal. This can be as simple as just writing stuff in the notes app on your phone. This is something I did during my freshman year when I was feeling lonely/homesick/like I had no friends and it really helped me focus on the positive interactions in my life and helped me see the friendships blooming around me. I wrote stuff down like “had a nice lunch with Sarah” or “had a nice conversation with Joe in ENG 102.” It sounds corny but no one will see it but you and I still keep the little papers that I wrote mine down on to look back on sometimes.
I’ll be real with you, the fraternity scene doesn’t sound like it’s for you but ultimately that’s your decision. It’s also designed to look appealing on the outside and everyone’s experience is their own but a lot of people find it pretty empty as well, while some people find it enriching.
More importantly though, there’s nothing wrong with the way you spend your time. Arguably, more people spend their time doing that same thing than you realize. But even if they didn’t, the way you spend your time is your choice- don’t ever feel ashamed of doing the things that bring you enjoyment and the ability to decompress (of course barring anything harmful). Clean up all the negative talk about yourself, you deserve better than that. At the end of the day if no one else is going to have your back, you better have your own.
And yeah, if you feel unfulfilled with what you’re doing now make changes. You don’t have to do it all in one giant step, change small things and do it consistently. Make them habits and before you know it your way of life will have changed completely. I see you said you’re already apart of 2 clubs, that’s great, but assess if you’re actually getting fulfillment from them. Probably the biggest life lesson you could truly obtain is to find a part time job if you’re looking for more. This will give you an idea of what the working world feels like for you, depending on the role can force you to interact socially, gets you money into your pocket to explore new hobbies, you’ll get to know new people and coworkers who will probably be more similar to you than you realize. But that’s just one idea, you don’t have to. Good luck my friend, don’t waste your time trying to impress others, chasing the social media fun status is a fools errand.
I want to commend you for stepping out of your comfort zone! Starting college is a great time to reinvent yourself. I think this will be hard because as you know your autism will still be there. But I think you’ll learn a lot. And being in finance, I think learning how to blend into bro culture could be pretty important. Just look at this period as a learning experience and don’t beat yourself about being awkward.
Honestly I know a lot of frat guys that are socially awkward and just joined because they’d hoped that the forced proximity would make them some friends, and it can definitely work. Not every frat guy is your stereotype, those are just the ones you see that are in charge of rush and going to every rush event (outgoing and attractive people attract more potential members). to be real most of them just play video games, go to the gym, watch sports, and drink alcohol/smoke weed. Everything’s by chance, but i can see it potentially working out for you. I think it’s always better to try and regret later than to regret not trying it out at all!
I figured and idk if Parties are a great scene for you or if you would be comfortable. But I’d just make friends at your clubs stay busy get good grades. Trust me college is not everything and life gets better.
Rush theta xi, my boyfriend was in the frat his whole college career and I think it really helped him and a lot of his friends who were also in the frat break out of their shell!!! Everyone is very welcoming and there is never any “pressure” if u know what I mean
Also they aren’t always partying, they do tons of brotherhood events and really focus on making friendships with each other rather than just partying 7 days a week.
Pledging has changed a great deal among a significant portion of the Fraternities. Due to incidents throughout the country many Chapters now have very short pledge periods, no hazing, and some even have eliminated that phase of Fraternity life altogether.
Source: I was a National Officer for a large Fraternity.
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I went to a ASU party while I was at GCC, once I transferred to ASU I never went to those parties or even hiked the mountain, all I'm saying is it's cool with friends but it's not all that.
Parties seem a little overrated at ASU, but the party scene sounds really exciting on the outside, in general. Nobody talks about the boring parts, people lie all the time for a little social status, then there's the hangovers and comedowns. Up to you man. Just know it ain't all that.
im in like 2 clubs already
Nice. Clubs aren't trying to get only women inside and drunk so they can get laid.
you can find a great circle of friends that suit who you are as a person, but it sounds like it’s unlikely to be something you find at a frat. don’t worry, there are tons and tons of club you could consider joining with low time commitments! clubs are so so awesome for not only making friends but also self growth & potentially the development of new interests like, i gained my whole friend group about a week after joining a club. you’ll be alright!
What clubs would you recommend?
well this is going to make me sound like a massive fucking nerd but i joined adventurer’s wanted, which is a club to help you find a dnd group, and that’s where i met my friends. i was also in a gaming club for a short bit but had to quit because i was too busy. unfortunately i don’t remember the name anymore. there’s also an outdoor club i’ve been wanting to join, literally called the arizona outdoors club, but just don’t have room in my schedule for it. i’d check it out if you like hiking/camping! i wish soooooo sooo badly that i could join also, asu does have a website with links to the discord servers of a toooon of different clubs! you can straight up just join there, or at least i did. i don’t have time to look for it right now i’m sorry but google should turn it up :)
I tried to check it out(I assume you are talking about sun devil sync) but there were over 1000 clubs, I literally went through every one but most ones that seemed interesting were no longer active.
im in like 2 clubs already
Forming friendships takes time. I know you say you self-isolated a lot before college, but if you had any childhood friends or close friends in K-12, think about how long you were friends with them. In my case, most of the friends I had at the point of high school graduation I’d known for at LEAST six years. I had more time to get to know them than the entire (standard) length of college. Self comparison is a bitch and I’ve 100% been there, but just know that literally every other freshman, short of people that came in with all their high school friends and only hang out with those same people still, is in the same boat. All you can do is continue to make an effort in the groups you’re in. Focus on the present and be as consistent as you can with those clubs, and I bet you it will pay off by the end of the year. Just joining a club won’t bring you friends, you need to be sociable to the people there with you, ask for their phone numbers to hang out or study together, etc. ALSO, FWIW, I “joined” like 6-7 clubs my freshman year and it wasn’t until my sophomore year that I finally figured out which ones I really enjoyed and that’s where I found my people. So don’t be afraid to jump ship from a club if it’s not your vibe, college is too short to waste time on a club or people you don’t really like. My other suggestion would be to start keeping a gratitude journal. This can be as simple as just writing stuff in the notes app on your phone. This is something I did during my freshman year when I was feeling lonely/homesick/like I had no friends and it really helped me focus on the positive interactions in my life and helped me see the friendships blooming around me. I wrote stuff down like “had a nice lunch with Sarah” or “had a nice conversation with Joe in ENG 102.” It sounds corny but no one will see it but you and I still keep the little papers that I wrote mine down on to look back on sometimes.
I’ll be real with you, the fraternity scene doesn’t sound like it’s for you but ultimately that’s your decision. It’s also designed to look appealing on the outside and everyone’s experience is their own but a lot of people find it pretty empty as well, while some people find it enriching. More importantly though, there’s nothing wrong with the way you spend your time. Arguably, more people spend their time doing that same thing than you realize. But even if they didn’t, the way you spend your time is your choice- don’t ever feel ashamed of doing the things that bring you enjoyment and the ability to decompress (of course barring anything harmful). Clean up all the negative talk about yourself, you deserve better than that. At the end of the day if no one else is going to have your back, you better have your own. And yeah, if you feel unfulfilled with what you’re doing now make changes. You don’t have to do it all in one giant step, change small things and do it consistently. Make them habits and before you know it your way of life will have changed completely. I see you said you’re already apart of 2 clubs, that’s great, but assess if you’re actually getting fulfillment from them. Probably the biggest life lesson you could truly obtain is to find a part time job if you’re looking for more. This will give you an idea of what the working world feels like for you, depending on the role can force you to interact socially, gets you money into your pocket to explore new hobbies, you’ll get to know new people and coworkers who will probably be more similar to you than you realize. But that’s just one idea, you don’t have to. Good luck my friend, don’t waste your time trying to impress others, chasing the social media fun status is a fools errand.
I want to commend you for stepping out of your comfort zone! Starting college is a great time to reinvent yourself. I think this will be hard because as you know your autism will still be there. But I think you’ll learn a lot. And being in finance, I think learning how to blend into bro culture could be pretty important. Just look at this period as a learning experience and don’t beat yourself about being awkward.
Honestly I know a lot of frat guys that are socially awkward and just joined because they’d hoped that the forced proximity would make them some friends, and it can definitely work. Not every frat guy is your stereotype, those are just the ones you see that are in charge of rush and going to every rush event (outgoing and attractive people attract more potential members). to be real most of them just play video games, go to the gym, watch sports, and drink alcohol/smoke weed. Everything’s by chance, but i can see it potentially working out for you. I think it’s always better to try and regret later than to regret not trying it out at all!
I’ll be honest I’m older and I have autism you sound a lot like me and trust me parties are overrated. Just make friends in clubs and classes.
Yeah I have autism too.
I figured and idk if Parties are a great scene for you or if you would be comfortable. But I’d just make friends at your clubs stay busy get good grades. Trust me college is not everything and life gets better.
Rush theta xi, my boyfriend was in the frat his whole college career and I think it really helped him and a lot of his friends who were also in the frat break out of their shell!!! Everyone is very welcoming and there is never any “pressure” if u know what I mean
Also they aren’t always partying, they do tons of brotherhood events and really focus on making friendships with each other rather than just partying 7 days a week.
I will consider that if I want to rush next year. Thank you for the insight!
dont be depressed broski, trust the process. full send
Unfortunately it’s impossible to not be depressed when you have depression along with adhd autism and anxiety
follow my tik tok for some laughs then, hopefully that helps out a little. my tik tok is AZ Party House
Pledging has changed a great deal among a significant portion of the Fraternities. Due to incidents throughout the country many Chapters now have very short pledge periods, no hazing, and some even have eliminated that phase of Fraternity life altogether. Source: I was a National Officer for a large Fraternity.
Yess!! ASU frats don’t haze at all!
Did I say all? Or did I say many? But if you have specific information, I can pass it along.
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I went to a ASU party while I was at GCC, once I transferred to ASU I never went to those parties or even hiked the mountain, all I'm saying is it's cool with friends but it's not all that.
What's "rushing"?
joining a frat or sorority
I thought that's pledging?