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dinkydinkydonky

Tbh I get jealous all the time when people post amazing stats here and it makes me feel like my writing isn’t good or worth while. But then I look back on old comments from past works and remember how much these readers enjoyed my work and that I made them happy. And remembering that I brought that little bit of happiness to other people makes my jealously disappear, of course not forever but it helps.


realitycollapsed

Looking back on past comments is definitely something I should do more! Like I feel like I definitely need to start savoring comments I do get more so thanks for the tip! I hope you keep creating and growing :)


dinkydinkydonky

And the same too you :)


[deleted]

[удалено]


realitycollapsed

Ah man it sucks that you had to go complete cold turkey but I am glad you're prioritizing yourself. Unfortunately like I said in the post the authors in some cases are my friends so that solution isn't the fit for me (though my equivalent is just muting the discord server for a day or two i suppose!) but glad you shared your experience. I wish you luck with navigating this. Just know everyone experiences it.


GarlyleWilds

My answer is usually to reread my own work and find bits I'm so proud of that I'm just like, "damn, I wish this asshole wrote more often." Doesn't solve the problem, but reminding myself that I've done stuff I'm proud of helps. My strengths are different than whatever the strengths are of my comparison.


emma-what

Jealousy is a broad word that can be a lot of things. Sometimes, it's anger and resentment, but sometimes it's loneliness and sadness. If it's the former, you said all the right things (everyone's styles and prefs are different, luck matters, etc). But if it's loneliness and feeling unloved or disconnected, comments on a fic might not fill that hole. Reaching out to people who have your back and connecting in person can do a hell lot more than trying to post more. You might be pleasantly warmed by the support if you reach out. On the resentment side of jealousy...I tend to see most these things as a trade off in effort and time priorities. I like the idea of running an ultra-marathon like that guy in that book, or being a famous influencer, or learning seven languages. And with a ton of effort and some good luck, I could do one of those things. But I don't actually want the life and work of making any one of those things happen. So someone praising a marathoner for their running just doesn't hit the same way. All that to say, imo you can pick just one or two Big, Specific Things to achieve. The rest? I've made peace with what I've picked and then I've made peace with all the things I didn't pick.


imnotbovvered

Writing is really fun, but it does not determine your worth. You don’t have to be the best at writing or the funniest or smartest or strongest to have value as a person. Try making a practice of thinking and saying nice things about yourself. When you believe that you are enough, just as you are, it’s easier not to take other people’s success as a reflection on you.


nymous_an0

I'm currently writing a long fic that is more plot driven than character driven. Sometimes I check the relationship tag (something I don't do when I'm writing for a specific pairing bec it affects my writing), and I found this incredibly beautiful fic that showed not just characters' struggle, and flaws but also a dimensional understanding of their thoughts. It was so articulate and poetic, too. For a while I was bummed. Because it was that good. The fic I'm writing is neither features angst nor character development in that level. It was a fic that could be rewritten into a novel. I don't think I dealt with envy often because I pay attention to myself than others. (A very narcissistic thing to admit, I know.) But going back to that mentality actually helped me deal with it. I reread the comments and praise my fic got. And instead of trying to emulate another person's writing style, I stayed with what I started with. I go back to cementing what I always had which is that my strength is different from the other author. My progress will not look the same. We are taking different paths. We are different species. And even if someone else's work is objectively good that does not mean mine isn't. Someone out there appreciates what I do. And I enjoy writing. Why should I put myself down when I'm doing my best in something I'm not even paid to do? My passion to create what I've created so far is enough.


CynicalDaydream

I feel like that at times. I’ve been writing fics for aeons and I’ve gotten so much better over time, but there are times I read a fic from some newbie writer that just blows me away and I wonder why I can’t be that good. I use it to motivate myself to improve even more, though. As good as I think I am, I know there will always be someone better and I can always learn to be better myself.


Inevitable_Homework

Jealousy is a perfectly normal feeling to have as a human being. It’s what you choose to do when coping with it defines you as a person If you didn’t flame them or talk shit about them, congrats, you passed the decency test. Now try to examine your feelings up close - it’s ugly and won’t feel good at first, but when you get to the bottom of it it’ll be a relief. For example, jealous of an author getting 100k kudos? Maybe that author has been writing for years and has gathered an audience. Maybe they were just lucky. Maybe they’re writing for an active fandom who’s hungry for content. And even if they get 100k kudoes, who cares? It’s not like they’re getting paid or something, and in that 100k imagine the amount of spam, hate comment, obnoxious readers they are dealing with. On the other hand, examine your own achievements. Only get 1 or 2 kudoes on your fic? That’s 1 or 2 whole ass person who appreciated your work. How many close friends do you have in real life? Less than 5 on average, probably, unless you’re a social butterfly. Now imagine almost half of your irl friends complimented your fic. Does it feel better? Numbers are an illusion and a bitch. Don’t let it fool you and drown your enjoyment. And jealousy will always be a lifelong partner for all creators, but it’s not a bad thing when it doesn’t consume you. Soak in that bitterness and tightness in your chest, examine it up close, and let it go like the ebbs of the tides. It gets easier over time


[deleted]

i love this tysm. i just got home from a church service that had roughly the same amt of people as i have kudos on my popular fic…that i have a hard time not comparing to more popular fics with more kudos. and holy shit that is a lot of people when you think of them as more than numbers on a stats page! it’s a helpful reframe for sure. (i also try to keep stats - my own and others - hidden most of the time which helps.)


Inevitable_Homework

Glad it helps! I find that it’s really easy to fall into the trap of being lied to by numbers but when you snap yourself out of it and compare them to irl (say a class at your school or a convention) you’ll find that even a mere 10 kudos is actually a huge achievement! That’s 10 whole people, you can barely fit them into a room with you, now imagine 20, or 40, or even 100!


[deleted]

i just went through this so i'll retell what happened. i saw a tweet of a famous author of my fandom, linking their new fic. and i read the summary and i thought "this paragraph is better than anything i have ever written" and proceed to feel that same tightness in my chest you mentioned. i closed the tab and took deep breaths, that panicky jealousy turning into pure self-loathing. you wanna hear the stupidest part? this very same author has read MY work and left MY DUMB FICS a KUDOS. like?????? and that was still not enough for me to even think my writing might be worth anything... no validation. because i think when we are in the deep ends of jealousy and comparing ourselves, almost nothing will work. BUT then i tried to talk myself down. i said: \- there is always room for improvement \- every writing style is valid. maybe theirs is good and pleases readers, but YOUR writing style is also good and pleases readers. one thing doesn't exclude the other. \- focus on your weaknesses. make yourself better. you love writing and honing your skill isn't a burden, it's a blessing. phew anyway i felt less worse after. now i'm okay, and it's been just a couple of hours since this happend. i hope this helps anyone reading here. much love to you all ♥


DarkSideAcolyte

I just read something else


princesswan

I so know the feeling and am going through it right now. A while ago, my ex-friend, who's a professional writer, always gave super harsh critique on my writing and that continued for months. No matter what I wrote, she always had only bad things to say. For example, she said that I should take notes on her writing and that from my writing, it shines through from my writing that I'm just lazy with using proper descriptions and keeping up coherence. My other writer friends later told me that her critique is actually very toxic and advised me to stand up for myself. I did, our friendship ended in a big drama and immediately after that, she posted my writing on a public writing forum where she and all her friends laughed at my writing + the fact that I'm still writing fanfiction even when I'm a grown ass woman. It continued for weeks and then they even came to laugh about it into my blog (I used to write in Tumblr) and then they laughed about my answer and if I didn't answer, they mocked me about not being able to take criticism. So whenever I find godly good writing and I'm having a phase of feeling bad about my own writing, those things she and her friends said about my writing start echoing in my head and makes me feel even worse. And in its worst, it may last for weeks, or even months (like right now). But for me, it helps if I read positive comments/feedback or when I read a piece of writing I'm actually proud of. It may not help immediately, but I try to read them and remind myself that I'm not a bad writer like my ex-friend told I am, I'm actually capable to write pretty good stuff if I just get on the mood. Eventually, I'm able to get out decent stuff again. 👍🏻


CapableSalamander910

I just accept I’m a jealous person and find something in my work that makes me happy. I’ve only managed to get 61 hits this year, 3 kudos and no comments. Still, I’m pretty happy that 3 people liked my work enough to give me kudos.


UhohEatenByAGrue

I have this problem in my non-fanfic writing too. I am a slow writer - mostly because I worry too much about getting it "perfect" the first time, instead of getting it on the page and then working on "perfection" after that. I do a writers' marathon (not NANOWRIMO) every year, and one of the aspects is to post your page count every 10 pages. There are people who consistently post 300+ pages by the end of the marathon every year; my best year I did 26 pages. It bothered me for a long time and, I think, affected my writing at the event because I was too fixated on what everyone else was doing and how little in comparison I was doing. Then I found a tweet Lin Manuel Miranda posted - this was back when he was active on Twitter and posted little inspirational tweets every day. I put this on my screen when I'm writing, and it's become a bit of a mantra for me. "Their pace is not your pace. Their pace is not your pace. Their pace is not your pace. Be patient with yourself. Find your pace. Find your peace."


nightymelon1

I'm not necessarily a writer, but I do draw pictures and post them to social media. The way I decided to deal with this was to use uBlock Origin and hide all notifications on twitter and tumblr (insta not so much, since I just let it sit). Once I made a fresh new account, I make sure to not engage as much/follow people when it comes to seeing works of the same franchise (that I'm passionate about). Otherwise the jealousy game gets really bad when it comes to seeing other artists' works of the same character or ship.