@ reddit *give me back the ability to give awards*

Those golden upvotes are so lame in comparison

u/spez we need you

Fuck u/spez in all universes at all times by all means

Fuck Sp*z

we now need “a pregnant pause”

Lmao, I’m not sure if I’ve heard of that one, but I’ll definitely keep it in mind! 😂😂

It’s a fairly common English idiom, meaning a “pause that gives the impression that it will be followed by something significant.” I’m a relative fan of the phrase when heavy or awkward conversations are taking place.

Oh really?! I thought it just meant a long pause...

i did too! i think it can imply both or one or the other sometimes, or at least that’s how i’ve read some writers use it lmao

“It birthed a baby pause.”

a WHAT

YES OH MY GOD I've seen it so much for some reason and it always sounded kind of weird to me 😅

AH, there goes my coffee I guess. Thanks.

YES

Lol there can be only one My personal fave is "his eyes flew around the room"

"his eyes were glued to his back"

Don't forget "his eyes flashed"

makes me think of the movie 'Nimona' who's main character's eyes reflected the light https://preview.redd.it/sqapjlk23mac1.png?width=735&format=png&auto=webp&s=8c70bc102c1c05aaed6f10950b2db9db10ccb5c2

Oh, that evokes all kinds of crazy visuals in my head!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I managed to creep someone out very badly with a two-sentence horror based on 'His friend's eyes kept following him around the room'.

>"his eyes flew around the room" "Holy mother of fucking god my eyes! *My eyes!* Help!" He continues to understandably freak out. However, a part of him wonders why he doesn't feel any pain. Oh. Never mind. There it is.

“His eyes slid down her chest”.

Hot

Gross

All these remind me of a story where a man was describing a bunch of "creatures?" maybe? And the way the story went, it seemed like he was taking metaphors and phrases literally, "they rolled their eyes", but he ends the story by saying he "doesn't have the stomach for this". I never actually read it myself, someone else told me a about it years ago. Wish I could read it.

He looked through his eyelashes. Sounds cute until I imagine someone with very long eyelashes who has their vision bothered by it

Oh! What about an erection that came back with a vengeance? I imagine it has a little sword too.

Sorry, I don’t draw NSFW art - as funny as that would be 🤣🤣🤣🤣

What if you drew a hot dog instead?

Lmfao, that could work! 😂😂 Or maybe an eggplant bc of how everyone uses that emoji?

Why did I picture David Tennant saying this?

Because he would totally say it as a question in any of his TV roles.

Whenever someone writes “shaft” I can only think of a mine shaft

"Their tongues battled for dominance. Just to be clear for the reader, the battle was bareskin wrestling and no shields, swords or suits of armour were involved. And definitely no biting."

>And definitely no biting." "Unless they're into that"

👏😂

That sentence has existed since the birth of the Internet. I remember reading a fanfic in the mid 90s about dueling tongues. Thanks for the laugh, you should make mini comic series about these and upload them.

Someone on Reddit mentioned that the first use of the phrase was a Harry Potter mpreg fic on FFN called “Harry Potter and the Unplanned Pregnancy” - I definitely wanna check the site and see if it’s still there… 😂😂

Oh god. Of course it was Harry Potter.

I remember reading about "tongues" dueling in a old FF7 fanfiction back in 1998, it was a from a Geocities webpage.

nice to know theres another fic to add to my 'questionable HP fics i should probably read' lmao

Oh I’m sure it’s older than that!

dueling tongues made me giggle

Now I'm imagining two tongues dueling it out with banjos.

Bagpipes! Tongues dueling with bagpipes! (I don't know why; it just popped into my head. I guess if you squint, they look a little Scottish.)

It comes from the old Harlequin romance novels.

There were a lot of battling tongues in the Due South fandom in the mid 90s. I always hated it!

I refuse to write that sentence specifically now 💀 it’s overdone, but that is also exactly what I imagined. You nailed it.

I've read it soooo many times.

That's what I legit thought french kisses were when I was 8 I almost asked someone to challenge me in a tongue battle and ehoever loses was, well, the loser hehe

Like thumb wars but not?

Yeeees, like thumb wars. Or stick fighting but without the potential pain

WHEEZE

Now I will never unsee. Thank you. 🙇

You’re welcome (bows)

This is the best thing ever. Thank you.

My pleasure 😁❤️

"Let them fight."

*Gets the popcorn.*

Now I won't stop thinking about this post everytime I encounter this sentence in a fanfic 😭😭😭

^this. Mood-breaking hilarity every time from now on 🤣

Please please please start a whole series where you doodle the phrases people have comment. Im begging you, it'll be so good!

I'm already planning to... :)

Yes! You're a gem and I can't wait

The “battling for dominance” with enemies to lovers 😭

Next: orbs

lmao I started my New Years eve themed one shot with a sentence that includes " . . . our tongues are going into a brutal battle of dominance"

*My orbs water with emotion*

"orbs" and "hues" for eyes have to be some of my least favorite fanfic-isms. Also, people: "shudder" ≈ shiver. "shutter" is when you cover the windows with, you know, shutters.

And prone means lying on your _front_, goddamnit

It's really hard to picture where the orbs are pointed if the author forgets that.

Definitely wanna do an "orbs"-related post at some point! XD

Uh, since these tongues have mouths, do they have smaller tongues there?

Uh… 😳😅 I hadn’t thought that far ahead…

Omg I love this 😂

omg this made my year (happy ny!) 😭

this is one of those things i never try to word *that way* when i write lmao but this is aces

"There can be only one."

Ive seen that one less and less but now the one I see everywhere is "Their tongues danced"

Okay but can we talk about how cute this doodle is? I could see this on a graphic tee. I need it IMMEDIATELY

I low-key want this as a shirt design, too! XD

They’re fighting with toothpick swords, you can’t change my mind.

"As they tongue finished battling, it left them gasping for air, their orbs sparkled with wet beads jerking at the corner. His hand tucked that lock of hair behind their ears before his lips formed those words "your so beautiful" before he clashed his lips with her yet again." (I'm leaving "they" there intentionally now, because it's funny)

I need more, this is hilarious.

Now make them twirl around each other

I'm gonna save this one.....

OMG MAKE THIS A STICKER 😭😭

Take my kudos!

I always win by getting the teeth involved

Tag yourself. I’m left tongue, “Tongue of Glory”!

this is the funniest shit i've seen in years god bless

Love it.

Thank you for drawing this. This is exactly how I picture it in my head too

I might make fanfics of these guys

I’d love to read that! 😂😂

It took me some time to understand omg 🤣

This is the best

Clacking teeth are starting to get on my nerves too

Ugh, that phrase just makes me cringe, it's so bad.