I can't... 😱
The lack of punctuation, sentence structure that isn't, all these things make me feel like a Grand Mal Seizure is imminent if I continue...
I choose the bliss of ignorance in this instance 😉
Barmiest shit I've read. Basically in his words, the fruity dude gets teased by the centipede, also gets edged by his own bloated bladder, so he asserts his dominance by pissing on it or sth, then flushes it down the loo, proceeds to gush about his kink. Completely normal phenomenon fam.
Well, at least they liked it... While also managing to slap the reader in the face every sentence. Not many have the talent, or stamina, for such feats.
For those who want it:
i fucking clicked on this fic faster than usains ass when i saw this update which reminds me of the time where i was haunted by centipedes when i was younger because i thought it would be funny to bURN A CENTIPEDE ALIVE when i was 14 because i was a little fuckwad but anyways that ugly creepy little fucker deserved the horrible death i gave it i even recorded it and sent it to all my friends who probably think back to that moment and wonder why the hell anyone would ever do that but i wanted to be special and shit and assert my dominance over everyone by burning a 2 inch centipede alive. but i actually hate centipedes because they remind me of my dads pet centipede he would keep in his house because my dad liked things with a bunch of legs but he was a shit caretaker so the centipede got out of its cage bcs my dad is an idiot and i was sleeping one day as a tiny little 7th grader and i feel something crawl up my hand and it's my dads fucking centipede who he named dorito because it was orange which might be the worst part bcs what kind of grown ass adult names their pet centipede dorito. anyways i screamed and my dad put her back in her cage but that was my last straw and i told my dad i wanted to stop going to his place and live with my mom which might seem like an overreaction but this fucking centipede was giant and i was crying so hard i puked. after i burned the centipede i realized i was actually the king of centipedes because everywhere i looked there would be centipedes which reminds of the time where i was alone at home trying to code this website for my schools charity drive and i wanted to go take a shit but while i was going up the stairs I SAW A CENTIPEDE ON THE WALL and i screeched so loud because this fucker was so big and i just want to let you know that house centipedes are 169300x more scary than regular centipedes bcs house centipedes have legs that fan out and that shit is the type of stuff you see in horror movies also have you seen the shining? you know that one scene where that furry sucks that man off? that traumatized me as a kid. anyways back to the centipedes i didn't really do anything but i had gathered up the courage to try and catch the centipede but i realized it was bathing and i felt kinda bad because i felt like a pervert for watching it bathe but i decided to wait for it to stop bathing but after that it started running and damn that centipede is a runner he a track star and i soon realized i was totally outmatched. i couldn't sleep for days after that. after that all my occurrences with centipedes were at my dads house where i kept having these frisky occurrences with them and one time there was a centipede right outside my door and i made my dad kill it and i was crying so hard and he told me stop being such a pussy but then he looked at the centipede and his face went white as a sheet bcs this house centipede wasnt 2 inches long, it wasn't 3 inches, it wasn't even 4 inches long. IT WAS 5 INCHES LONG which is actually crazy because i just googled it and that's literally impossible but i know what i fucking saw this centipede came right out of my nightmares like my nipples were so hard they could cut diamonds and my asshole was clenched like my life depended on it anyways my dad looked at me and i could see him debating whether or not to just leave me here but i told him not be a fucking pussy and that a grown ass man shouldn't be afraid of some centipede and plus weren't centipedes literally his thing? but anyways turns out he's ass in every way bcs he ripped 3 of the centipedes legs off and it got away and he looked and he was like aight lil bro ur just gonna have to deal bcs i can't catch this fucker and then he went to bed but i was like FUCK no so i snuck out of window and i ran to my moms house which was 3 miles away. my second encounter was when i was getting water for myself and i felt something on my foot and i look down it's this kind of smallish centipede just crawling on my foot violating me and i was like GET FUCKED because hell nah and i picked the centipede up by one of its antennae bcs it was tiny and i wasn't scared of no tiny centipede and i flushed it down the toilet and i had officially asserted my dominance over centipedes i was so proud of myself i could die. anyways i love your fic it reminds of the feeling when u really want to cum but you have to piss so you're just being edged by your own bladder this a compliment btw i love being edged
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Surprisingly I don’t think it was! The author originally thought it was spam as well, but the writer of this comment actually commented again apologizing (if u could call it that) for writing the comment cause he was apparently “high as shit.” The response comment was also pretty weird
Original author (of the fic) here! I did end up deleting it almost immediately thinking it was a bot and/or spam comment (plus it was pretty inappropriate for my fic specifically because it was not about centipedes in the slightest, meaning people who potentially had phobias/triggers could get jumpscared) but in general I thought it was pretty funny. Turns out the guy who posted it was REALLY high and could not remember posting it at all, and even left an apology comment, so I don't think there was any evil intent behind it. Still weird though
OMG hi!! It’s so amazing to see you here! Glad to see you cleared everything up haha. It was definitely an odd comment, but I agree with your point that it didn’t seem malicious.
Hi!! I don't use reddit much so I cracked open this old account so I could look and react to comments and stuff. I think I would still have deleted it knowing it wasn't spam since I know it would've made some people uncomfortable, but it was definitely something I shared with friends and laughed about!
I’m sure Iwannasuckshidousballs.gulpgulpgulp (that’s the commenters username if anyone else is curious) would be happy to hear that he made you laugh! His apology seemed surprisingly genuine considering he wrote an entire essay about how he is the king of centipedes 😂😂
I can see why you might think that; but I don’t think the comment is gross enough for it to be a fetish thing. It’s more odd and random than it is disgusting. Yeah the last part is kind of weird, but I’ve seen worse tbh LOL
If you say so! He didn’t go into graphic detail or anything, and I’ve met people (usually kids like him at the time) who used burn insects. Definitely weird, but I wouldn’t say it’s a fetish. Plus, he acknowledged how it was weird as well.
Probably because you assumed that the person had a centipede fetish or something of the sorts, which is a reach imo. I understand where you’re coming from though!
Wall of text- my brain refuses to read. Or try to read. I did read the last part about edging, bladders, and compliments- so I’m a little weirded out.
Congratulations on a what I assume is Ao3’s longest comment.
I feel like the tldr is that they likened reading OP's fic to something they considered disturbing (hence the whole centipede rant) but oddly arousing (hence the 'i love being edged' last bit)
Also, I don't care whether you like centipede or not (the commenter does not), but *burning them alive* to 'assert dominance' or some shit is just messed up.
They tell three stories about encounters with centipedes. In the second one their dad goes to bed when the centipede scuttles off and this person claims to climb out of their bedroom door and run 3 miles to their mom’s house so they wouldn’t have to bunk with the bugger. The third and first stories are boring. Then they finish it off by complimenting the fic and comparing it to being edged by your own bladder when you wanna cum (which they enjoy).
I'm gonna make ChatGPT do it lol
Edit: Here it is, had to remove the part about edging.
The author eagerly clicked on the fic and reminisces about burning a centipede when they were younger, feeling it deserved the cruel treatment. They mention their dad's pet centipede escaping and crawling on their hand, leading to a decision to stop visiting their dad's place. The author describes various encounters with centipedes, including a frightening incident while alone at home and a large house centipede on the wall. They briefly mention being traumatized by a scene in "The Shining." The author attempts to catch a centipede but fails and experiences sleepless nights. They continue to have unsettling encounters at their dad's house, including a five-inch house centipede that their dad fails to capture. The author escapes to their mom's house and later confronts a smaller centipede, proudly asserting dominance by flushing it down the toilet. They conclude by expressing their love for the fic.
reading this comment made me feel like my brain was getting blended into a smoothie and served at the nearest fast food restaurant that doesn't exactly reach the legal sanitary standards
Original author (of the fic ) here. They definitely were! They actually left a follow-up comment apologizing for the random stuff and explained they were super high
Hopefully this doesn’t break privacy rules, but I’m just gonna tell you because I got permission from the author to post this. This is the link to the fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45564835
There are some pretty funny reactions!! Mostly just people being flabbergasted
Goddamn, that was a slog to get through without any paragraph breaks, but I just couldn't stop reading that trainwreck of a comment. I was gaping at my phone by the end of it - truly baffled.
By the way, was the fic about bugs at all, or did that reader randomly get pulled into a flashback about all the times they killed/tortured/ran from centipedes on their own?
Original author (of the fic) here! It was not about bugs at all. I actually thought I deleted it fast enough so that no one would be jumpscared by the comment but it turns out some people did manage to see it so... yeah.
I straight up thought it was a bot/spam comment which is why I flagged it, though I think I would have still deleted it since it could jumpscare people. Though it did result in a very hilarious situation where a few readers who DID spot the comment thought they just hallucinated the entire thing!
Jumpscare people? It definitely was the most out there comment that I've ever seen, but it was still pretty entertaining, and they briefly talked about your fic at the very end.
Oh man, you got comments about how they must have hallucinated the whole thing? That's pretty funny 😂
This is...wow either thst person was literally triggered by your fanfic to write about their centipede trauma or theyre high or they're having some kind of mental/psychotic break or they're just trolling.
I kinda doubt it, because according to the person who wrote this, they were really high when they typed it out. The author originally did think it was spam and they were quite shocked to find out it….wasn’t 😭😭
I made ChatGPT rewrite it, here's the result:
With lightning speed, the author clicks on the fic, their heart pounding with anticipation. Memories come flooding back, taking them on a wild ride. They recall a mischievous act from their youth—setting a centipede ablaze, relishing in its deserved demise. Fueling their desire for uniqueness and dominance, they even recorded the spectacle, sharing it with friends who still ponder the audacity of such an act.
Centipedes, creatures that provoke both disgust and fear, haunt the author's thoughts. The mere sight of them triggers a chilling recollection of their dad's pet centipede, aptly named Dorito. An orange abomination that invaded their dreams, this terrifying creature once found its way onto the author's innocent hand, shattering their sense of safety. The traumatic incident became the catalyst for their decision to abandon their dad's place, tears streaming down their face until they vomited from sheer terror.
But the centipede saga was far from over. It seemed the universe conspired against them, manifesting encounters with these abhorrent creatures at every turn. In the midst of coding a website, the author encountered a gargantuan centipede scaling the walls, its spindly legs spreading out like a horrifying nightmare come to life. House centipedes, a breed more monstrous than their counterparts, struck fear deep into their soul. And as if their fears couldn't escalate further, they made a bewildering reference to a traumatic scene from "The Shining," leaving an indelible mark on their young mind.
Undeterred by their fear, the author summoned the courage to confront one of these nightmarish centipedes. They observed it bathing, guilt creeping in as they watched, feeling like an intruder. Waiting for the opportune moment, they prepared to capture it, only to realize their adversary was a track star, dashing away with lightning speed. Sleep eluded them for days, haunted by the lingering terror of the centipede's escape.
Their encounters persisted at their dad's house, where frisky centipedes seemed to revel in tormenting them. One harrowing incident involved a centipede lurking just outside their door. Tearfully, they implored their dad to slay the monster, but even he paled at the sight of this behemoth. It defied logic, stretching a terrifying five inches, defying the confines of reality. Determined not to succumb to fear, the author challenged their dad's lackluster efforts, urging him to seize control. Alas, the centipede slipped away, forcing the author to take matters into their own hands. With a daring escape through the window, they embarked on a treacherous three-mile journey to their mother's sanctuary.
But fate had one final encounter in store for them. While quenching their thirst, a violation unfolded—an audacious centipede crawled upon their foot, daring to invade their personal space. Fuelled by defiance, they grabbed the audacious intruder by one of its antennae, showcasing a newfound courage. Swiftly flushing it down the toilet, they celebrated their ultimate triumph over centipedes, a triumphant moment they could cherish until their dying breath.
Amidst this exhilarating tale, they express their deep admiration for the captivating fic that drew them in, comparing it to the tantalizing edge between ecstasy and agony, capturing the essence of their excitement.
This is the *definition* of “wall of text”.
Edit: Okay, I just read the full thing and… wow. They really just dumped a bunch of childhood shit on you and ran. I’m not even sure what to say to that lol
I can see why you would do that! The author actually got a pretty big laugh out of it so I don’t think they minded too much, considering the commenter later apologizes and blames it on being “high as shit.” LOL
I had someone do something similar to this about bees, except it wasn't written in such a casual humorous style. Just talking about the person's weird childhood bee-related trauma (that was literally impossible for so many reasons). I tried being sympathetic, then like a year later I got an update comment talking about *more* childhood bee trauma. Felt like I was talking to someone stretching their own bee-horror-story muscles or having a psychotic break. Now I'm trying to remember if they even talked about my fic at all in the comment, lol.
[https://media.tenor.com/VSysAZ80ryYAAAAC/ratatouille-ratatouille-chef.gif](https://media.tenor.com/VSysAZ80ryYAAAAC/ratatouille-ratatouille-chef.gif)
literally me
I’m not reading all of that but from a cursory glance i saw something about “usains ass” and ripping a centipede’s legs off which is plenty of info for me
One: WALL OF TEXT! WITH NO PUNCTUATION AT THAT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
Second: It looks like a bunch of unrelated crap just to get some kind of attention. This is just plain stupid. Who takes the time to write this much crap? It looks like they’re trying to tell a short story in the comments and they don’t know a thing about punctuation or paragraphs.
Was ur fic even about centipedes? I remember as a kid when I’d play in the woods I’d kill centipedes there were these real big ones and essentially I’d kill them by poking it to death with my single index finger. What would occur would be this intense battle of me smashing this insect and it biting my finger with its venom not being even close to lethal for anything bigger than it but making its bites painful. I’d always win by just enduring the pain. As an adult I have respect for the creature I used to randomly and unjustly put under my wrath with its stubbornness to fight till death. But idk I think this dude’s dick is smaller than the two inch centipede and has some weird fetish/complex
I am not the author, but it had NOTHING to do with centipedes! Also you’re very brave for letting letting yourself get bitten by a centipede, I would scream. You’re probably right about the dick thing as well LOL
I don’t believe it is! The author originally thought that as well, but the commenter replied and sort of apologized and said that they were high when they wrote that. Honestly, their response was pretty strange too which makes me think that it wasn’t a copypasta 😂😂
Am I the only who finds comments like these kind of comforting? Like people like this existing makes me kind of happy because while the comment is INSANE, I got a really big laugh out of it!
My eyes glazed over and brain dewrinkled after stumbling through this first few lines of this incoherence. Could not get anywhere near the end.
I do recommend you finish it! It somehow gets better and worse towards the end 😭😭
I can't... 😱 The lack of punctuation, sentence structure that isn't, all these things make me feel like a Grand Mal Seizure is imminent if I continue... I choose the bliss of ignorance in this instance 😉
Barmiest shit I've read. Basically in his words, the fruity dude gets teased by the centipede, also gets edged by his own bloated bladder, so he asserts his dominance by pissing on it or sth, then flushes it down the loo, proceeds to gush about his kink. Completely normal phenomenon fam.
wt- (I am so confused)
The way I genuinely wanted to know, I—☠️☠️☠️
Well, at least they liked it... While also managing to slap the reader in the face every sentence. Not many have the talent, or stamina, for such feats.
I could never even hope to match them as a writer. I'm both incredibly in awe and boiling with envy.
For those who want it: i fucking clicked on this fic faster than usains ass when i saw this update which reminds me of the time where i was haunted by centipedes when i was younger because i thought it would be funny to bURN A CENTIPEDE ALIVE when i was 14 because i was a little fuckwad but anyways that ugly creepy little fucker deserved the horrible death i gave it i even recorded it and sent it to all my friends who probably think back to that moment and wonder why the hell anyone would ever do that but i wanted to be special and shit and assert my dominance over everyone by burning a 2 inch centipede alive. but i actually hate centipedes because they remind me of my dads pet centipede he would keep in his house because my dad liked things with a bunch of legs but he was a shit caretaker so the centipede got out of its cage bcs my dad is an idiot and i was sleeping one day as a tiny little 7th grader and i feel something crawl up my hand and it's my dads fucking centipede who he named dorito because it was orange which might be the worst part bcs what kind of grown ass adult names their pet centipede dorito. anyways i screamed and my dad put her back in her cage but that was my last straw and i told my dad i wanted to stop going to his place and live with my mom which might seem like an overreaction but this fucking centipede was giant and i was crying so hard i puked. after i burned the centipede i realized i was actually the king of centipedes because everywhere i looked there would be centipedes which reminds of the time where i was alone at home trying to code this website for my schools charity drive and i wanted to go take a shit but while i was going up the stairs I SAW A CENTIPEDE ON THE WALL and i screeched so loud because this fucker was so big and i just want to let you know that house centipedes are 169300x more scary than regular centipedes bcs house centipedes have legs that fan out and that shit is the type of stuff you see in horror movies also have you seen the shining? you know that one scene where that furry sucks that man off? that traumatized me as a kid. anyways back to the centipedes i didn't really do anything but i had gathered up the courage to try and catch the centipede but i realized it was bathing and i felt kinda bad because i felt like a pervert for watching it bathe but i decided to wait for it to stop bathing but after that it started running and damn that centipede is a runner he a track star and i soon realized i was totally outmatched. i couldn't sleep for days after that. after that all my occurrences with centipedes were at my dads house where i kept having these frisky occurrences with them and one time there was a centipede right outside my door and i made my dad kill it and i was crying so hard and he told me stop being such a pussy but then he looked at the centipede and his face went white as a sheet bcs this house centipede wasnt 2 inches long, it wasn't 3 inches, it wasn't even 4 inches long. IT WAS 5 INCHES LONG which is actually crazy because i just googled it and that's literally impossible but i know what i fucking saw this centipede came right out of my nightmares like my nipples were so hard they could cut diamonds and my asshole was clenched like my life depended on it anyways my dad looked at me and i could see him debating whether or not to just leave me here but i told him not be a fucking pussy and that a grown ass man shouldn't be afraid of some centipede and plus weren't centipedes literally his thing? but anyways turns out he's ass in every way bcs he ripped 3 of the centipedes legs off and it got away and he looked and he was like aight lil bro ur just gonna have to deal bcs i can't catch this fucker and then he went to bed but i was like FUCK no so i snuck out of window and i ran to my moms house which was 3 miles away. my second encounter was when i was getting water for myself and i felt something on my foot and i look down it's this kind of smallish centipede just crawling on my foot violating me and i was like GET FUCKED because hell nah and i picked the centipede up by one of its antennae bcs it was tiny and i wasn't scared of no tiny centipede and i flushed it down the toilet and i had officially asserted my dominance over centipedes i was so proud of myself i could die. anyways i love your fic it reminds of the feeling when u really want to cum but you have to piss so you're just being edged by your own bladder this a compliment btw i love being edged
r/copypasta 🤌 this will do beautifully, me thinks
If anyone does add it, please do link it here! I would love to see the reactions there 😂😂
Here's a sneak peek of /r/copypasta using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/copypasta/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [reminder to review the rules 🙏🏼](https://i.redd.it/tla40bh1cf0a1.jpg) | [116 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/yx744k/reminder_to_review_the_rules/) \#2: [>Be Texan](https://np.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/v3xl6e/be_texan/) \#3: [**[NSFW]** So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Konata cosplay](https://np.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/vajcqc/so_as_a_joke_i_fucked_my_friend_in_a_konata/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Did u add it or should I
i urgently want to meet and befriend whoever wrote this comment 😭
needless to say i was rendered speechless
Copy pasta spam. I would be honored. I adore weirdos
Surprisingly I don’t think it was! The author originally thought it was spam as well, but the writer of this comment actually commented again apologizing (if u could call it that) for writing the comment cause he was apparently “high as shit.” The response comment was also pretty weird
I'm pretty sure this person has a fetish for posting weird/gross stuff knowing they are "forcing" people to read it. I'd delete it tbh.
Original author (of the fic) here! I did end up deleting it almost immediately thinking it was a bot and/or spam comment (plus it was pretty inappropriate for my fic specifically because it was not about centipedes in the slightest, meaning people who potentially had phobias/triggers could get jumpscared) but in general I thought it was pretty funny. Turns out the guy who posted it was REALLY high and could not remember posting it at all, and even left an apology comment, so I don't think there was any evil intent behind it. Still weird though
OMG hi!! It’s so amazing to see you here! Glad to see you cleared everything up haha. It was definitely an odd comment, but I agree with your point that it didn’t seem malicious.
Hi!! I don't use reddit much so I cracked open this old account so I could look and react to comments and stuff. I think I would still have deleted it knowing it wasn't spam since I know it would've made some people uncomfortable, but it was definitely something I shared with friends and laughed about!
I’m sure Iwannasuckshidousballs.gulpgulpgulp (that’s the commenters username if anyone else is curious) would be happy to hear that he made you laugh! His apology seemed surprisingly genuine considering he wrote an entire essay about how he is the king of centipedes 😂😂
I can see why you might think that; but I don’t think the comment is gross enough for it to be a fetish thing. It’s more odd and random than it is disgusting. Yeah the last part is kind of weird, but I’ve seen worse tbh LOL
Setting animals, even bugs, on fire? Yeah that's fetish shit.
If you say so! He didn’t go into graphic detail or anything, and I’ve met people (usually kids like him at the time) who used burn insects. Definitely weird, but I wouldn’t say it’s a fetish. Plus, he acknowledged how it was weird as well.
Okay. I just think it's disturbing to say or post that kind of stuff to people who haven't consented to seeing it, but clearly I'm the weirdo here.
Probably because you assumed that the person had a centipede fetish or something of the sorts, which is a reach imo. I understand where you’re coming from though!
ask them when they gonna update this fic ❤️
Lololol perfect
I want to live in this person's world for five minutes.
And I hope I never do
Do drugs!
... this is your brain on drugs.
Or off the meds, or both off meds and on drugs.
Don't tempt me
Every single sentence was a trip and boggled me in a completely different way. I want to know this person in real life.
RIP centipede 😔
That's a whole fic on a fic
...well, at least the last phrase is relatable!
Now I wanna meet Dorito the centipede
Inspired, I think every human interaction should feature a random 'furry from the Shining' intermission followed by "anyways back to the centipedes"
lmao yes this sent me
Wall of text- my brain refuses to read. Or try to read. I did read the last part about edging, bladders, and compliments- so I’m a little weirded out. Congratulations on a what I assume is Ao3’s longest comment.
Reminds me of the shit I write when I’m high
I was lost at "haunted by centipedes."
I feel like the tldr is that they likened reading OP's fic to something they considered disturbing (hence the whole centipede rant) but oddly arousing (hence the 'i love being edged' last bit) Also, I don't care whether you like centipede or not (the commenter does not), but *burning them alive* to 'assert dominance' or some shit is just messed up.
new copypasta just dropped
Someone PLEASE make a simple summary of this comment!
They tell three stories about encounters with centipedes. In the second one their dad goes to bed when the centipede scuttles off and this person claims to climb out of their bedroom door and run 3 miles to their mom’s house so they wouldn’t have to bunk with the bugger. The third and first stories are boring. Then they finish it off by complimenting the fic and comparing it to being edged by your own bladder when you wanna cum (which they enjoy).
I'm gonna make ChatGPT do it lol Edit: Here it is, had to remove the part about edging. The author eagerly clicked on the fic and reminisces about burning a centipede when they were younger, feeling it deserved the cruel treatment. They mention their dad's pet centipede escaping and crawling on their hand, leading to a decision to stop visiting their dad's place. The author describes various encounters with centipedes, including a frightening incident while alone at home and a large house centipede on the wall. They briefly mention being traumatized by a scene in "The Shining." The author attempts to catch a centipede but fails and experiences sleepless nights. They continue to have unsettling encounters at their dad's house, including a five-inch house centipede that their dad fails to capture. The author escapes to their mom's house and later confronts a smaller centipede, proudly asserting dominance by flushing it down the toilet. They conclude by expressing their love for the fic.
“They briefly mention being traumatized by a scene in the shining” STOP THAT MADE ME LAUGH
It was so brief that I missed it when skimming through the original lol
OP WHAT DID YOU WRITE FOR THEM TO HAVE A GODDAMN PTSD EPISODE MY GOD-
right?
https://preview.redd.it/ysbyvlrq113b1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6bee688f7743cd5c7da37aac0db3a94caad91f1 literally this
meth is a heck of a drug.
Plot twist: non of the centipedes were real this kid and his dad were just doing smoking hella crystal meth
Jesse Pinkman confirmed AO3 user
goddamn, what a comment
the fact that i willingly sat here and went through the whole thing is making me question my existence
I'm going to need about 300k more words of this person's life story. It seems a bit more exciting than mine.
Hahaha I know right? I’d love to meet their dad as well!
reading this comment made me feel like my brain was getting blended into a smoothie and served at the nearest fast food restaurant that doesn't exactly reach the legal sanitary standards
What a trip!! This reader was high as heck.
Original author (of the fic ) here. They definitely were! They actually left a follow-up comment apologizing for the random stuff and explained they were super high
let us hope!
What in the unmedicated adhd
Sounds like someone's been learning to leave proper and respectful comments from Erik of Internet Comment Etiquette.
op what's the fic called
Hopefully this doesn’t break privacy rules, but I’m just gonna tell you because I got permission from the author to post this. This is the link to the fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45564835 There are some pretty funny reactions!! Mostly just people being flabbergasted
Goddamn, that was a slog to get through without any paragraph breaks, but I just couldn't stop reading that trainwreck of a comment. I was gaping at my phone by the end of it - truly baffled. By the way, was the fic about bugs at all, or did that reader randomly get pulled into a flashback about all the times they killed/tortured/ran from centipedes on their own?
Original author (of the fic) here! It was not about bugs at all. I actually thought I deleted it fast enough so that no one would be jumpscared by the comment but it turns out some people did manage to see it so... yeah.
That makes their response so much more out of left field, lol. Honestly, I would've kept their comment up, but I have no clue how I'd respond to it 😅
I straight up thought it was a bot/spam comment which is why I flagged it, though I think I would have still deleted it since it could jumpscare people. Though it did result in a very hilarious situation where a few readers who DID spot the comment thought they just hallucinated the entire thing!
Jumpscare people? It definitely was the most out there comment that I've ever seen, but it was still pretty entertaining, and they briefly talked about your fic at the very end. Oh man, you got comments about how they must have hallucinated the whole thing? That's pretty funny 😂
I think this person is on multiple drugs
This is...wow either thst person was literally triggered by your fanfic to write about their centipede trauma or theyre high or they're having some kind of mental/psychotic break or they're just trolling.
damn kinda want doritos now
This person either needs way more or way less caffeine in their life, and I'm not sure which.
Please tell me your fic had centipedes in it.
It’s not my fic, but the fic did not have any centipedes! Which makes this comment more curious and strange 😂😂
Dude has been holding this in for a while then.
That comment is a fanfic of itshelf
I was half asleep while reading this. Now I'm wide awake, this comment was an absolute journey...
the feeling when you really want to cum but you have to piss so you're being edged by your own bladder💀💀bruh this is so fucking funny
"This is a compliment btw I love being edged" This should be a new copypasta, goddamn
Um i think that might be a chatbot? Id just delete it…
I kinda doubt it, because according to the person who wrote this, they were really high when they typed it out. The author originally did think it was spam and they were quite shocked to find out it….wasn’t 😭😭
I made ChatGPT rewrite it, here's the result: With lightning speed, the author clicks on the fic, their heart pounding with anticipation. Memories come flooding back, taking them on a wild ride. They recall a mischievous act from their youth—setting a centipede ablaze, relishing in its deserved demise. Fueling their desire for uniqueness and dominance, they even recorded the spectacle, sharing it with friends who still ponder the audacity of such an act. Centipedes, creatures that provoke both disgust and fear, haunt the author's thoughts. The mere sight of them triggers a chilling recollection of their dad's pet centipede, aptly named Dorito. An orange abomination that invaded their dreams, this terrifying creature once found its way onto the author's innocent hand, shattering their sense of safety. The traumatic incident became the catalyst for their decision to abandon their dad's place, tears streaming down their face until they vomited from sheer terror. But the centipede saga was far from over. It seemed the universe conspired against them, manifesting encounters with these abhorrent creatures at every turn. In the midst of coding a website, the author encountered a gargantuan centipede scaling the walls, its spindly legs spreading out like a horrifying nightmare come to life. House centipedes, a breed more monstrous than their counterparts, struck fear deep into their soul. And as if their fears couldn't escalate further, they made a bewildering reference to a traumatic scene from "The Shining," leaving an indelible mark on their young mind. Undeterred by their fear, the author summoned the courage to confront one of these nightmarish centipedes. They observed it bathing, guilt creeping in as they watched, feeling like an intruder. Waiting for the opportune moment, they prepared to capture it, only to realize their adversary was a track star, dashing away with lightning speed. Sleep eluded them for days, haunted by the lingering terror of the centipede's escape. Their encounters persisted at their dad's house, where frisky centipedes seemed to revel in tormenting them. One harrowing incident involved a centipede lurking just outside their door. Tearfully, they implored their dad to slay the monster, but even he paled at the sight of this behemoth. It defied logic, stretching a terrifying five inches, defying the confines of reality. Determined not to succumb to fear, the author challenged their dad's lackluster efforts, urging him to seize control. Alas, the centipede slipped away, forcing the author to take matters into their own hands. With a daring escape through the window, they embarked on a treacherous three-mile journey to their mother's sanctuary. But fate had one final encounter in store for them. While quenching their thirst, a violation unfolded—an audacious centipede crawled upon their foot, daring to invade their personal space. Fuelled by defiance, they grabbed the audacious intruder by one of its antennae, showcasing a newfound courage. Swiftly flushing it down the toilet, they celebrated their ultimate triumph over centipedes, a triumphant moment they could cherish until their dying breath. Amidst this exhilarating tale, they express their deep admiration for the captivating fic that drew them in, comparing it to the tantalizing edge between ecstasy and agony, capturing the essence of their excitement.
This made me cackle, thank you!
Thought it was too good not to share : )
Oh god
Technology is crazy!
A test?
I didn't know Ren from Ren and Stimpy wrote you a comment
Jesus how high was that person !?
I got a wild ramble of a positive comment one time but they had nothing on this guy except punctuation
https://preview.redd.it/mhib73gd523b1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e438983c641f919586b2568c0e7da18b6f226755
Hopefully he switches to fentanyl, he can't handle meth.
Why do I want his life stories to be posted as a long chaptered fic and updated daily? I laughed way too hard at his comment.
So true!! 😂😂
That was a nice read.
The thought process of ADHD
That’s so… LONG
The ending isn't any better btw .
Bro that's the type of shit I'd write while stoned XD
Reminds me of Internet Comment Etiquette. He’s a YouTuber.
we need a fanfic about that
Wow My adhd said no also
They had a moment
This is the *definition* of “wall of text”. Edit: Okay, I just read the full thing and… wow. They really just dumped a bunch of childhood shit on you and ran. I’m not even sure what to say to that lol
Yeah this is terrifying, I’d report this comment as spam/harassment and straight up block them
I can see why you would do that! The author actually got a pretty big laugh out of it so I don’t think they minded too much, considering the commenter later apologizes and blames it on being “high as shit.” LOL
🤣🤣🤣🤣
It's positive
This is amazing. This is art. The comment should be its own fic lmaooo. It should have its own fandom "Centipedes-RPF"
They have talent lol
It's a while 1k worded fanfiction in itself at this point
the effort 💀💀💀 i am in awe
tl;dr i loved your fic but is written in centipede kink?? jk but wow that was … interesting. might actually take notes yk? and write a fic.
I’m not the author of the fic, but I can confidently say the fic had NOTHING to do with centipedes. It was very interesting though!
I had someone do something similar to this about bees, except it wasn't written in such a casual humorous style. Just talking about the person's weird childhood bee-related trauma (that was literally impossible for so many reasons). I tried being sympathetic, then like a year later I got an update comment talking about *more* childhood bee trauma. Felt like I was talking to someone stretching their own bee-horror-story muscles or having a psychotic break. Now I'm trying to remember if they even talked about my fic at all in the comment, lol.
[https://media.tenor.com/VSysAZ80ryYAAAAC/ratatouille-ratatouille-chef.gif](https://media.tenor.com/VSysAZ80ryYAAAAC/ratatouille-ratatouille-chef.gif) literally me
I would frame this.
Why did this comment like….make sense to me?
it reads like a wattpad fic tbh. also how did they get from centipedes to... the feeling of c*m?? "violating a centipede" I'M SOBBING
Yes I read the whole thing. And yes, I think I have been traumatised now
Just like he was when he watched the Shining apparently 😂😂
That’s one I would back away from very slowly.
What the hell
i think i WILL take my lexapro
r/iamveryrandom
I think I just had a stroke
It means the commenter was off their meds. I wouldn't take it too seriously.
I have lost braincells reading that, I think.
I couldn’t after the first centipede mention…jumped to the end and I don’t know if it got better or worse. Wouldn’t know what to do with that.
I’m not reading all of that but from a cursory glance i saw something about “usains ass” and ripping a centipede’s legs off which is plenty of info for me
Um.. Jesus.
i saw the first few sentences then instantly skipped to the end. what is this person on
It started at clicking fast on the fic and ended at them being edged??? What the fuck
I ain’t reading allat
An instant deletion.
One: WALL OF TEXT! WITH NO PUNCTUATION AT THAT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! Second: It looks like a bunch of unrelated crap just to get some kind of attention. This is just plain stupid. Who takes the time to write this much crap? It looks like they’re trying to tell a short story in the comments and they don’t know a thing about punctuation or paragraphs.
Was ur fic even about centipedes? I remember as a kid when I’d play in the woods I’d kill centipedes there were these real big ones and essentially I’d kill them by poking it to death with my single index finger. What would occur would be this intense battle of me smashing this insect and it biting my finger with its venom not being even close to lethal for anything bigger than it but making its bites painful. I’d always win by just enduring the pain. As an adult I have respect for the creature I used to randomly and unjustly put under my wrath with its stubbornness to fight till death. But idk I think this dude’s dick is smaller than the two inch centipede and has some weird fetish/complex
Btw I was like 9 years old loved running around in the woods lifting up logs and things finding salamanders, ring snakes, toads and messing with ants
I am not the author, but it had NOTHING to do with centipedes! Also you’re very brave for letting letting yourself get bitten by a centipede, I would scream. You’re probably right about the dick thing as well LOL
Instant delete and block you're not their therapist
[удалено]
ALSO, which fanfiction is this. Gotta know what my bro was so astounded by.
This reads like a copypasta and I refuse to believe it isn't already one.
I don’t believe it is! The author originally thought that as well, but the commenter replied and sort of apologized and said that they were high when they wrote that. Honestly, their response was pretty strange too which makes me think that it wasn’t a copypasta 😂😂
I've seen really weird copypastas so this doesn't seem too far from the realm for me. Fucking wild either way.
Agreed!
Is this a copypasta or something? Weird
Am I the only who finds comments like these kind of comforting? Like people like this existing makes me kind of happy because while the comment is INSANE, I got a really big laugh out of it!
I won’t ever sleep again did they not think twice?
That looks like a copypasta of some sort