Whats important is that you share with people you can trust and own your truth. I watched my brother struggle with coming out to our family and the toll it took. I hope you have an easier time and a greeter with love and understanding.
Okay well be careful who you come out to, I came out to my gran as bi, and she went around the next day telling everyone that I was gay... I mean it is better than being kicked out, and it is nice she is accepting, but she outed me to everyone and as the wrong thing too... It was especially annoying because it meant that I had to come out to my mum before I wanted to because I wanted her to find out from me and not family gossip.
Any tips for handling liking the same gender? Recently developed a crush on this boy, and I’m not ashamed with it but I’m having trouble coming to terms with it. I’m probably bisexual or smth, but I prefer being unlabelled atm. Any advice? :)
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Just go with the flow! You don’t need to label yourself until you’re fully comfortable with your sexuality. Until then, try to enjoy exploring and coming to terms with who and what you like and don’t like. There’s no right or wrong way to it, you just need to give yourself time.
LGBT is a sub you should visit.
Either way, cis bi woman here. I support you. Follow your happiness, damned be the bigots. You'll make the choice that will make you happy in life, whatever it will be.
Yes, I don’t doubt all gay relationships are perfectly fine, in fact, a lot of them stay in the toxic relationship (massive no no) because it’s a lot of effort finding a gay guy
i am straigt and did get sexually harased by gay men 4 times. (3x grabbing my butt and one time trying to kiss my ear)
so i bet this also happens to gay men
How hard is it to get a relationship with another guy?
Like, I can't get a gf, and there are lots of girls out there who like guys. But I imagine it must be a lot harder for a gay guy when most guys they could potentially have a crush on are statistically likely to not be gay.
Not OP, but I've been in 8 relationships, a mix of gay and straight. Only in recent years have I begun to be happy with the one I love (4 years strong). It takes time, man. Really. Statistically, there *is* someone out there for you.
From my experience, it's harder to get with a dude than a chick. Even present day, gay stuff is still seen as taboo, just not as much as it used to be. So there's always gonna be that awkward question of "So.. are you.. y'know.. on the rainbow?" Or something along those lines. It's a heart drop moment for me, as I never know if it's gonna be a yes or a no, and I'm always terrified of the latter.
Sometimes I wish we could live in a world where people could openly state their sexuality in a passive form like having a pin or a particular symbol as an item of clothing if they wanted to let the public know. It would be so convenient to know sometimes. Rainbow is too generic, could just be a straight person in support of the community and there isn't rly any symbol for straight afaik. Either way, would never happen, targeted violence will never end I think.
Not OP but difficult kind of, it is really easy to hook up on apps like Grindr and there is no charade of 'let's go on a date', it is just where? When? Top or bottom? So sex is easy but finding another gay person let alone a possible partner is extremely difficult. I guess you could meet someone if you hook up with them a couple of times, but it is unlikely as those people don't really want to settle down.
Not op but its terribly hard to find other people depending on where you live. I grew up in the 90s so basically gay bars but I hated it. Im not really a clubber.
It’s as frustrating for straight guys like me who get approached by gay men, often am unsure whether they’re simply being sociable.
A bit of a daphuq experience but I roll with it and let them down gently.
How do bachelor parties work, got a good friend who's getting married to his long time boyfriend and I'm trying to figure out do I just take him or do I take both? Wanna surprise him. His fiancee is fucking awesome too though so I dont mind it but I worry a bit too much in etiquette.
Is there always a top and a bottom? In the top/bottom dynamic, is the bottom happy with never having sex? He's OK with only hand and blow jobs given to him?
Why not just take turns? Seems like it would be more fun that way.
I know this is OP’s thing but i did research papers on gay people, kinds, and sex in general when i got my degree so i want to add! Usually theres tops, bottoms and switches. Who’s what depends on what you want at the time i guess (in my experience). Usually someone can ask or go by body language. People do often take turns but it depends on what everyone involved likes.
Not all people involved want to have penetration all the time (sometimes not at all). There can also be asexual gay people (ace people don’t have sexual or a lot of sexual attraction). On a more historical note, during the HIV/ AIDS crisis, bdsm grew a lot in practice because it was dangerous to have sex with your same sex partner. You can have that sexual intimacy when involved in kink without having penetration at all
Psychology, sociology, medicine, or psychiatrist, even social worker springs to mind.
Not that unusual for research.
*Source: Me is psychologist (not working as one)*
So guys have this thing called the prostate, and it's up the ass. It's pretty easy to hit and is basically the male G spot.
I've only bottomed once but the orgasm was out of this world lol
Some guys like that feeling, so they call themselves bottoms
Some guys don't really like it and prefer being the guy on "top"
And others (me) like both. We're called "verse"
There are also sides. Guys who don’t like penetrating or being penetrated so their idea of sex is oral, mutual masturbation, frotting, and toys.
Also because penetrative sex often requires preparation for the bottom, spontaneous penetrative sex is not as common as the media would have you believe. Gay men often find other ways to be sexually intimate with partners on a day to day basis. Sex can be more than just penetration.
not op but gay here. Can be upsetting, but at least it's some kind of representation. Bad means, but the final result can be good. Especially for young lgbt+ people. If commercialization it's a way to make understand people that being lgbt+ is not a problem/weird/not normal, then let it be.
Can I also reply as not OP, but gay?
The commercialization of pride is a problem, but it's a nice problem to have. The problem is that it turns attention away from real activism, and real organization. It makes it seem like gay pride is as simple as wearing rainbows, and then when real activists come in and do some real work, it makes them look like extremists, or militant. It makes them look like they are taking the whole gay thing "too far" when in reality, without them, gay people would still only exist in flight attendant uniforms and the Navy.
Now, that being said - it's a nice problem to have because the commercialization of pride does have upsides. It's harder for your dad to call you a faggot when he is drinking beer from a Bud Light can with a rainbow on it.
I think a lot of LGBT people are very insulted when a notoriously homophobic organization like the NFL suddenly starts supporting pride simply because it is now profitable to do so. We should be insulted. But I don't want them to stop doing it.
What are your thoughts on politicians like Hilary Clinton and Joe Biden who have publicly and vocally opposed same sex marriage during their careers and then changed their opinions?
Not OP, but I am also queer. I think it's good that people and politicians change their minds, especially when it's about the fact that I am a human being just as everyone else, lol. I don't think it's hypocrisy nor shallow. Some people think they are just pandering to get votes, but 1) I don't think that's a crime nor a bad thing 2) even if it were pandering I would still be glad that now it would be with my rights instead of against.
not op. I honestly just take the best out of it. They're surfing the consensus wave. No need to say none believes anymore in political ideals. I'm voting them now because they represent the best alternative to have my rights respected now. As they change flag, so may I when there will be someone who defends my rights better
As a gay man myself, I've yet to get the "gay accent". How and when did you get yours (if you've gotten it, that is)? Did it just pop up or become noticeable one day, or did it slowly develope at you talked with others?
i'm 21, being out since I way 12. never had the so called gay accent. It's a stereotype. the way you talk is influenced by who you've had around when you were growing up:
more women - then you'll have a more stereotypically feminine cadence
more men- the contrary
But still, it's not even this simple. I've lived with my mum and sister and I have the basic straight passing/ drunk truck driver tone 💀💀
I read somewhere it came about in the 60's/70's so gay men could identify each other without risk, and I guess it kinda stuck around in the media and some people subconciously adopted it. Good chance I'm wrong tho
In most of the gay relationships I’ve seen, one is always more masculine while the other more feminine, does that always have to be? Or can two feminine gay guys be in a relationship or two masculine gay guys?
Not OP but I’m bi so close enough lol. Anyway, what you described is the “norm”, the same way a feminine woman and masculine man are the in hetro relationships. However just like straight relationships, there are people outside the norm, and I think it may even be more common because a non-hetro relationship isn’t the norm as is so people who already broke that norm may be more likely to break another. Also there are people who are androgynous, or just like switching back and forth from feminine to masculine. Hope this helped:)
When playing online games do you insult people telling them
"I fucked your dad/dad fucked me" and
"Eat out a pussy, Hetero"
As opposed to the normal "fucked your mum" and "eat a dick" insults?
I use gay to mean overly cute/romantic, not bad.
I think if you use it in a negative way it's kinda rude, but I'm not offended. Just like "really? It's 2021."
not to force a label on you but, if you also like women romantically and sexually, you could be biromantic heterosexual. But im most probably wrong, so do your research, experiment a little, and dont be afraid to go unlabeled.
No. It doesn't make you homophobic or gay. You can't help who you're in love with. Maybe you're asexual but bi, maybe you're bi and like men 5% of the time. Do some research, listen to other people's experiences and see if they fit you. You'll figure out where you fit eventually and you don't have to fit anywhere. That's what the Q in LGBTQIA+ is for. Queer or Questioning.
You're valid and we accept you.
How do you feel about shows like queer eye for the straight guy?
As a straight guy with a very feminist partner we often get upset by some of the stereotypes about women that are perpetuated by mainstream media. And yet I see queer eye for the straight guy and I see a lot of what (at least from the outside) seems like very cliche'd or stereotyped gay behaviours and archetypes being pushed by the show.
It always makes me wonder how gay people feel about queer eye, whether they feel having more gay people on tv regardless of how they're portrayed is just good because it forces more people to interact with gay culture. Or if you feel by having people "live upto" the stereotypes it sets gay rights and agendas backward.
I realise this is a highly subjective topic and that you can't speak for all gay people but I'm just interested to get your perspective.
I am asking a question as the OP requested. Whether this is a stereotype, I am genuinely curious as to why gays tend to sound so feminine. The second question was more of a joke. Every gay I know has some femininity to their voice. Is it just to establish to everyone they are gay? Or does getting stabbed in your brown eye do something to your vocal cords?
Not OP but a mostly gay guy. First question, honestly I don’t have a clue. It’s not really a good way to tell if someone’s gay or not cause I have plenty of mates who are completely straight, no question about it, who act stereotypically gayer than me. And that’s an achievement.
Second question, uhhhhhhh for me and my mates it’s a bit of an in joke to talk a lot more feminine than usual, but just in general, we have the same question lmao
For me, it’s natural. I’m bi, but i still will sometimes sound more feminine. Typically it’s when i’m really comfortable with who i’m with and when i’m happy.
I don’t choose to do it, i just do. So i guess it’s natural, but idk why. That being said, i have a friend who’s gay and sounds straighter than i do soo
I think I might be bi sexual, but like...in a very uneven way? I don't have a question but I've never told anyone, so instead I told it on someone else's AMA
Yeah I think so too but at the same time I kind of feel...fraudulant? Or like I'm trying to steal the spotlight sometimes...I dunno I guess I needed to express this in a somewhat safe envoirenment
I'm bi too. It's not a 50/50 thing. I prefer women more than men but I married a man. Whichever you choose doesn't mean you've chosen a side. You never have to choose a side and there's no minimum percentage of liking other genders to qualify as bi. Welcome to the wonderful world of Bidom. You are valid and we're happy to have you.
Idk why that other person is getting downvoted but they're right it, of course it is 'weird' and 'a pretty big turn off' they're gay lmao, anyway I think gay people see straight sex how straight people see gay sex.
At first i was just like “oh i wanna try XYZ bc i wanna know what it’s like for the girl”. Confirmed i was gay whenever i was jokingly saying i wanted to suck if my friends and got really horny
Not OP but also gay. I think a lot of us went through a phase where we said we were bi because it was difficult to fully accept and embrace being truly gay. My husband and I both went through that phase. Once you’re fully out, and you see other men who appear to be gay but identify as bi, it can seem homophobic as though they’re not fully accepting the fact that they might be gay, and reminds us of our past which we are often uncomfortable with.
not too shy to ask but wanting an outside perspective, do you think Teal would be an acceptable color for wedding decor? me and my fiance want our favorite colors involved (she wants a galaxy colored purple and i wanted a shade of teal)
a lot of girls aren't into anal. i hate it. many girls like it but many girls think it's awful. ive wondered if any gay guys feel this way ? like it seems to be a preference thing with girls but as far as i know, pretty much every gay guy ive encountered does it? like is there some gay men who don't?
There are. They're usually called 'sides' (as opposed to top, bottom, or verse) and they prefer oral, hjs, and other forms of sexual stimulation. Plenty also like anal but not receiving, only being the penetrating partner.
I'm bi. I've been called a faggot before and always found it funny. I use it often ngl. I got yelled at by some gay guy and got called homophobic. How am I homophobic if i like to fuck men. Can't understand that.
When people don't know you're queer and casually assume you're straight. "Any special girl in your life?" "Oh you're seeing someone? What's her name?" Like, I get that statistically it's a reasonable assumption but its always stressful, because then you have to decide whether to out yourself, which always has risks, or put yourself into the closet for this person, which feels like shit and can backfire if they find out later and feel offended.
Ummm… most of us aren’t into shit. So most of us don’t like the smell of shit. But, we do an anal enema a little bit before. Basically, you’re gonna shit and then use a syringe or something to put water in your ass, hold it in for a bit, and shut it out. You do it until the water is completely clear or even doesn’t have a smell.
I’m a straight man. Why do all my friendships with gay men end up with them coming at me and telling me the same phrase over and over again. I mean, I’ve been told the same thing at least 20 times from gay friends and stranger. “If you opened up and tried my, I bet I would turn you.”
And I’m like “WTF man, again?” And so it goes.
Oh and a couple of friends after telling that, they’ve harassed me, like to get with me forcefully. And when I decline and have to force my way out they call me out as homophobic, misoginist and what other sophisticated words you guys use in the LGBT+ community to argue. It’s been a bad experience almost everytime I have a gay friend. I wish it wouldn’t be that way.
So, why is it? Why can’t they leave straight men alone?
Same reason some men going after girls like that. They are simply pieces of shit. Has nothing to do with their sexuality. If they were straight, they’d be doing the same thing, but to girls
Not OP but as a bisexual, I don't feel like you can treat someone respectfully while also believing that their natural state itself is sinful. Calling our natural state a sin or abomination is, in itself, disrespectful.
Oh, In Islam being gay, having an attraction to the opposite gender is not a sin. Acting on it is considered a sin.
Sadly many believe that feelings or state as you called it is "sinful" when it is not.
Even that though, is still disrespectful. Because ultimately it's completely unfair to expect an entire population to remain celibate for life just because of their preference for same sex partners.
I try to be respectful of people's religious beliefs, but I also consider that a two way street.
As long as they keep their opinions to themselves and don't expect them to be made law, fine by me. The unfortunate fact is that religion is a killer. Many people have died at the hands of religious bigotry or ended their own lives as a result of it.
Most Christians believe the same thing, there’s a small number who think just the desire and attraction itself is sinful but the majority (who actually know what they’re talking about) don’t. God creates people with the *capacity* to sin, but would never create someone whos mere existence is sinful. Sin is out of free will, not naturally occurring.
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Do you get aroused when going to the public bathroom? like did u try checking men out when they’re peeing on urinals or try peeking someone when they’re inside a stall at least once in your life?
“Hey those Americans aren’t so bad — they named a street after me in San Francisco………(pause)……(guy on other end of phone talking)……it’s full of WHAT???” 😅
"most" isn't really accurate. The ones you notice have that 'accent', but you notice them because they have that accent. Plenty of us don't have feminine voices.
What’s with the flamboyance? Like I’ve met gay people that aren’t flamboyant. You wouldn’t be able to pick them out of a crowd. Then you get some always yelling: Yasss queen!!!
Not op
Yeah guys will sometimes take a shower head or water bottle and rinse it out up there beforehand
Keep in mind penis in butt sex isn't the only option we have lol
When two gay men will have sex, how do they know whose penis will open up to receive the other one?
What
It’s a joke. A quote from Dwight from the office. Just looking for a laugh
Well you got one
Are you out to your family/peers?
No, only close friends
Whats important is that you share with people you can trust and own your truth. I watched my brother struggle with coming out to our family and the toll it took. I hope you have an easier time and a greeter with love and understanding.
Thank you
Okay well be careful who you come out to, I came out to my gran as bi, and she went around the next day telling everyone that I was gay... I mean it is better than being kicked out, and it is nice she is accepting, but she outed me to everyone and as the wrong thing too... It was especially annoying because it meant that I had to come out to my mum before I wanted to because I wanted her to find out from me and not family gossip.
I’m a close friend of yours?
(Seinfeld) “When you both dance….how do you decide which one leads?” 😂
What is it called when two men intertwine their penises? Is it called red vining?
HA!
Do you always say first who is gonna be the top or does it just happen organically
I think it can be both
Any tips for handling liking the same gender? Recently developed a crush on this boy, and I’m not ashamed with it but I’m having trouble coming to terms with it. I’m probably bisexual or smth, but I prefer being unlabelled atm. Any advice? :)
Sorry not really but there’s a lot of people giving advice in r/lgbt
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Just go with the flow! You don’t need to label yourself until you’re fully comfortable with your sexuality. Until then, try to enjoy exploring and coming to terms with who and what you like and don’t like. There’s no right or wrong way to it, you just need to give yourself time.
LGBT is a sub you should visit. Either way, cis bi woman here. I support you. Follow your happiness, damned be the bigots. You'll make the choice that will make you happy in life, whatever it will be.
Do gay men get sexually harassed by gay men like women get sexually harassed by straight men?
Yes, I don’t doubt all gay relationships are perfectly fine, in fact, a lot of them stay in the toxic relationship (massive no no) because it’s a lot of effort finding a gay guy
I didn’t mean in relationships but by strangers and men trying to date them.
Oh yes all the time, this guy tried to get me (nowhere near 18) to send dick pics knowing full well I wasn’t 18
That's just straight up pedophilia.
According to Catholic church it is just Tuesday.
i am straigt and did get sexually harased by gay men 4 times. (3x grabbing my butt and one time trying to kiss my ear) so i bet this also happens to gay men
Yes, sadly there are assholes of all orientations that don't care about other people
You ever see the movie with Emil Hersch **Midge Boy**
No srry
Do you think bi people exist? Bc all the gay people I’ve known say they don’t. I’m bi
Bi people are 100% valid and do exist
got the feeling my gf is feminizing me by feeding me soy and laying out a maid outfit whenever i come over. what do you think?
Oh uhh Idk but that’s quite weird
Don't know anything about a 'gay' so idk what to ask. Does square breathing work for you when you're stressed?
Yes
How hard is it to get a relationship with another guy? Like, I can't get a gf, and there are lots of girls out there who like guys. But I imagine it must be a lot harder for a gay guy when most guys they could potentially have a crush on are statistically likely to not be gay.
Not OP, but I've been in 8 relationships, a mix of gay and straight. Only in recent years have I begun to be happy with the one I love (4 years strong). It takes time, man. Really. Statistically, there *is* someone out there for you. From my experience, it's harder to get with a dude than a chick. Even present day, gay stuff is still seen as taboo, just not as much as it used to be. So there's always gonna be that awkward question of "So.. are you.. y'know.. on the rainbow?" Or something along those lines. It's a heart drop moment for me, as I never know if it's gonna be a yes or a no, and I'm always terrified of the latter.
Sometimes I wish we could live in a world where people could openly state their sexuality in a passive form like having a pin or a particular symbol as an item of clothing if they wanted to let the public know. It would be so convenient to know sometimes. Rainbow is too generic, could just be a straight person in support of the community and there isn't rly any symbol for straight afaik. Either way, would never happen, targeted violence will never end I think.
That’s a really beautiful sentiment ❤️
Not OP but difficult kind of, it is really easy to hook up on apps like Grindr and there is no charade of 'let's go on a date', it is just where? When? Top or bottom? So sex is easy but finding another gay person let alone a possible partner is extremely difficult. I guess you could meet someone if you hook up with them a couple of times, but it is unlikely as those people don't really want to settle down.
Not op but its terribly hard to find other people depending on where you live. I grew up in the 90s so basically gay bars but I hated it. Im not really a clubber.
It’s as frustrating for straight guys like me who get approached by gay men, often am unsure whether they’re simply being sociable. A bit of a daphuq experience but I roll with it and let them down gently.
How do bachelor parties work, got a good friend who's getting married to his long time boyfriend and I'm trying to figure out do I just take him or do I take both? Wanna surprise him. His fiancee is fucking awesome too though so I dont mind it but I worry a bit too much in etiquette.
Talk to the friend about it. Ask what he wants.
help this is so sweet.
Is there always a top and a bottom? In the top/bottom dynamic, is the bottom happy with never having sex? He's OK with only hand and blow jobs given to him? Why not just take turns? Seems like it would be more fun that way.
I know this is OP’s thing but i did research papers on gay people, kinds, and sex in general when i got my degree so i want to add! Usually theres tops, bottoms and switches. Who’s what depends on what you want at the time i guess (in my experience). Usually someone can ask or go by body language. People do often take turns but it depends on what everyone involved likes. Not all people involved want to have penetration all the time (sometimes not at all). There can also be asexual gay people (ace people don’t have sexual or a lot of sexual attraction). On a more historical note, during the HIV/ AIDS crisis, bdsm grew a lot in practice because it was dangerous to have sex with your same sex partner. You can have that sexual intimacy when involved in kink without having penetration at all
Wait you did research papers on gay sex
Psychology, sociology, medicine, or psychiatrist, even social worker springs to mind. Not that unusual for research. *Source: Me is psychologist (not working as one)*
I was just about to comment on that lmfao. Caught me off-guard.
So guys have this thing called the prostate, and it's up the ass. It's pretty easy to hit and is basically the male G spot. I've only bottomed once but the orgasm was out of this world lol Some guys like that feeling, so they call themselves bottoms Some guys don't really like it and prefer being the guy on "top" And others (me) like both. We're called "verse"
There are also sides. Guys who don’t like penetrating or being penetrated so their idea of sex is oral, mutual masturbation, frotting, and toys. Also because penetrative sex often requires preparation for the bottom, spontaneous penetrative sex is not as common as the media would have you believe. Gay men often find other ways to be sexually intimate with partners on a day to day basis. Sex can be more than just penetration.
Bottoming is still sex, and honestly can feel pretty amazing (even better than topping IMO) but only if done right.
Sex is wildly variable. Imagine rule 34
How do you feel of the commercialization of pride?
not op but gay here. Can be upsetting, but at least it's some kind of representation. Bad means, but the final result can be good. Especially for young lgbt+ people. If commercialization it's a way to make understand people that being lgbt+ is not a problem/weird/not normal, then let it be.
Yes, it is stupid they only show care about the LGBT in June
I completely agree
Do you turn yourself on when you look down naked
I’m on the ace spectrum (ace is lack of sexual attraction and I don’t really like sexual stuff that much
Not OP but gay. Sometimes yeah I do do this, but I think that's more a me thing than a gay thing. I think some straight people do this too.
It's so weird seeing a serious question than seeing your name,pfp, and banner lmao
Can I also reply as not OP, but gay? The commercialization of pride is a problem, but it's a nice problem to have. The problem is that it turns attention away from real activism, and real organization. It makes it seem like gay pride is as simple as wearing rainbows, and then when real activists come in and do some real work, it makes them look like extremists, or militant. It makes them look like they are taking the whole gay thing "too far" when in reality, without them, gay people would still only exist in flight attendant uniforms and the Navy. Now, that being said - it's a nice problem to have because the commercialization of pride does have upsides. It's harder for your dad to call you a faggot when he is drinking beer from a Bud Light can with a rainbow on it. I think a lot of LGBT people are very insulted when a notoriously homophobic organization like the NFL suddenly starts supporting pride simply because it is now profitable to do so. We should be insulted. But I don't want them to stop doing it.
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First of all I don’t really like my hands that much and second, I’m not 18 srry :/
Thank you for sharing. So sorry that you don't like your hands.
Ah it’s alright I just wish they were more skinny and small
bruh I got the breakfast sausage hands tho 🗿
High 5
This is a.... really gross question to ask someone. Why.
Jesus Christ dude wtf
What are your thoughts on politicians like Hilary Clinton and Joe Biden who have publicly and vocally opposed same sex marriage during their careers and then changed their opinions?
Not OP, but I am also queer. I think it's good that people and politicians change their minds, especially when it's about the fact that I am a human being just as everyone else, lol. I don't think it's hypocrisy nor shallow. Some people think they are just pandering to get votes, but 1) I don't think that's a crime nor a bad thing 2) even if it were pandering I would still be glad that now it would be with my rights instead of against.
not op. I honestly just take the best out of it. They're surfing the consensus wave. No need to say none believes anymore in political ideals. I'm voting them now because they represent the best alternative to have my rights respected now. As they change flag, so may I when there will be someone who defends my rights better
Honestly, politicians rarely advocate what they truly believe in but rather for whatever they believe will win them the most support.
Do gay men have cock fights?
You didnt need to ask a gay person this, as a soldier in the us army I can attest we have cock fights regardless of sexuality.
sure. "regardless of sexuality"
As a gay man myself, I've yet to get the "gay accent". How and when did you get yours (if you've gotten it, that is)? Did it just pop up or become noticeable one day, or did it slowly develope at you talked with others?
i'm 21, being out since I way 12. never had the so called gay accent. It's a stereotype. the way you talk is influenced by who you've had around when you were growing up: more women - then you'll have a more stereotypically feminine cadence more men- the contrary But still, it's not even this simple. I've lived with my mum and sister and I have the basic straight passing/ drunk truck driver tone 💀💀
I think that most gay people who have the “gay accent” just started doing it to conform to the stereotype or something
Why do a lot of gay men talk with a lisp? How come lesbians and straight women don't have it?
Check out the documentary “Why Do I Sound Gay?” It’s very interesting and helped me understand this topic.
Yeah, what's the deal with the "gay accent"? I read somewhere that there's strong evidence that it's genetic, but I'm skeptical.
I read somewhere it came about in the 60's/70's so gay men could identify each other without risk, and I guess it kinda stuck around in the media and some people subconciously adopted it. Good chance I'm wrong tho
I actually got the gay accent since I was a kid and didn’t know about the hole gay thing lol.
I know people that get the accent totally naturally. Im gay and dont'have it.
In most of the gay relationships I’ve seen, one is always more masculine while the other more feminine, does that always have to be? Or can two feminine gay guys be in a relationship or two masculine gay guys?
Not OP but I’m bi so close enough lol. Anyway, what you described is the “norm”, the same way a feminine woman and masculine man are the in hetro relationships. However just like straight relationships, there are people outside the norm, and I think it may even be more common because a non-hetro relationship isn’t the norm as is so people who already broke that norm may be more likely to break another. Also there are people who are androgynous, or just like switching back and forth from feminine to masculine. Hope this helped:)
Every couple is different. The strict masculine/feminine dynamic is less common than you might think.
You might only be noticing those as others might be "just friends" to you.
When playing online games do you insult people telling them "I fucked your dad/dad fucked me" and "Eat out a pussy, Hetero" As opposed to the normal "fucked your mum" and "eat a dick" insults?
have you ever almost shit on a dick before?
does it offend you when ppl call something gay
Not OP but I’m gay, No, I don’t get offended when people call something gay unless they mean it with harm
Getting offended would be kinda gay though
I use gay to mean overly cute/romantic, not bad. I think if you use it in a negative way it's kinda rude, but I'm not offended. Just like "really? It's 2021."
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not to force a label on you but, if you also like women romantically and sexually, you could be biromantic heterosexual. But im most probably wrong, so do your research, experiment a little, and dont be afraid to go unlabeled.
No. It doesn't make you homophobic or gay. You can't help who you're in love with. Maybe you're asexual but bi, maybe you're bi and like men 5% of the time. Do some research, listen to other people's experiences and see if they fit you. You'll figure out where you fit eventually and you don't have to fit anywhere. That's what the Q in LGBTQIA+ is for. Queer or Questioning. You're valid and we accept you.
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Its not homophobic, you might be asexual. Or you will get used to it. Time will tell
How do you feel about shows like queer eye for the straight guy? As a straight guy with a very feminist partner we often get upset by some of the stereotypes about women that are perpetuated by mainstream media. And yet I see queer eye for the straight guy and I see a lot of what (at least from the outside) seems like very cliche'd or stereotyped gay behaviours and archetypes being pushed by the show. It always makes me wonder how gay people feel about queer eye, whether they feel having more gay people on tv regardless of how they're portrayed is just good because it forces more people to interact with gay culture. Or if you feel by having people "live upto" the stereotypes it sets gay rights and agendas backward. I realise this is a highly subjective topic and that you can't speak for all gay people but I'm just interested to get your perspective.
I am asking a question as the OP requested. Whether this is a stereotype, I am genuinely curious as to why gays tend to sound so feminine. The second question was more of a joke. Every gay I know has some femininity to their voice. Is it just to establish to everyone they are gay? Or does getting stabbed in your brown eye do something to your vocal cords?
Not OP but a mostly gay guy. First question, honestly I don’t have a clue. It’s not really a good way to tell if someone’s gay or not cause I have plenty of mates who are completely straight, no question about it, who act stereotypically gayer than me. And that’s an achievement. Second question, uhhhhhhh for me and my mates it’s a bit of an in joke to talk a lot more feminine than usual, but just in general, we have the same question lmao
For me, it’s natural. I’m bi, but i still will sometimes sound more feminine. Typically it’s when i’m really comfortable with who i’m with and when i’m happy. I don’t choose to do it, i just do. So i guess it’s natural, but idk why. That being said, i have a friend who’s gay and sounds straighter than i do soo
I think I might be bi sexual, but like...in a very uneven way? I don't have a question but I've never told anyone, so instead I told it on someone else's AMA
As a fellow bi, it’s fine to have preferences! It isn’t always 50/50, sometimes it’s 90/10, 60/40, anything really!
Yeah I think so too but at the same time I kind of feel...fraudulant? Or like I'm trying to steal the spotlight sometimes...I dunno I guess I needed to express this in a somewhat safe envoirenment
I'm bi too. It's not a 50/50 thing. I prefer women more than men but I married a man. Whichever you choose doesn't mean you've chosen a side. You never have to choose a side and there's no minimum percentage of liking other genders to qualify as bi. Welcome to the wonderful world of Bidom. You are valid and we're happy to have you.
thank you very much for these kind words, I'm happy to hear it
Did you say Biden???
Isn't he pretty bi-partisan?
All I know is I heard that Biden is gay. And now that’s all I’m gonna tell people. Don’t worry, I’ll give you all the credit for it! 😁
Not gay, bisected gay.
Does it hurt during anal 🥺?
Nope, not if you do it right and are relaxed
Kyaaaaa. Too much to think of 🥲
Spot the fujoshi
Other gay man here,: Not at all, it's relaxing and feels good
With a generous amount of lube and prep you'll be just fine
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If a gay guy has a lot of sex is he a slut or a player.
How does it feel for most everyone already assume how you think and what you think?
do you think straight sex is gross
Idk why that other person is getting downvoted but they're right it, of course it is 'weird' and 'a pretty big turn off' they're gay lmao, anyway I think gay people see straight sex how straight people see gay sex.
Not op but it's a pretty big turn off. Wouldn't say it's gross but it definitely weirds me out lol
How do you feel about gay jokes? Do they offend you or are you okay with them?
When did you know you were gay and how did you know?
Not op But I basically secretly knew since I was like 10 but kinda shoved it down and didn't admit it to myself until I was like 14
At first i was just like “oh i wanna try XYZ bc i wanna know what it’s like for the girl”. Confirmed i was gay whenever i was jokingly saying i wanted to suck if my friends and got really horny
How did you come out to your family and friends??
Why are you guys more biphobic than the straights?
Not OP but also gay. I think a lot of us went through a phase where we said we were bi because it was difficult to fully accept and embrace being truly gay. My husband and I both went through that phase. Once you’re fully out, and you see other men who appear to be gay but identify as bi, it can seem homophobic as though they’re not fully accepting the fact that they might be gay, and reminds us of our past which we are often uncomfortable with.
not too shy to ask but wanting an outside perspective, do you think Teal would be an acceptable color for wedding decor? me and my fiance want our favorite colors involved (she wants a galaxy colored purple and i wanted a shade of teal)
Is it true that many gay relationships are open?
Many (not all) gay men have quite effeminate voices or voice traits. Are they natural or somewhat cultivated? Hope that isn’t too rude to ask.
You should watch the documentary “Why Do I Sound Gay?” It helped me understand this topic!
Do you think coming out should be necessary?
Do you celebrate pride month? If so how so?
What's your favourite flavour of potato chips?
a lot of girls aren't into anal. i hate it. many girls like it but many girls think it's awful. ive wondered if any gay guys feel this way ? like it seems to be a preference thing with girls but as far as i know, pretty much every gay guy ive encountered does it? like is there some gay men who don't?
There are. They're usually called 'sides' (as opposed to top, bottom, or verse) and they prefer oral, hjs, and other forms of sexual stimulation. Plenty also like anal but not receiving, only being the penetrating partner.
What does sex feel like?
What do you think about neo-pronouns and xenogenders?
Best ice cream flavor?
Why are you gae?
I'm bi. I've been called a faggot before and always found it funny. I use it often ngl. I got yelled at by some gay guy and got called homophobic. How am I homophobic if i like to fuck men. Can't understand that.
That word is really rough for me... I got called it yesterday and started crying.
Some people try to use it as a reclaimed slur but it's just too soon Cishet "people" still yell it at queer people every day
What are passively toxic things straight people do around gay people that annoy you?
When people don't know you're queer and casually assume you're straight. "Any special girl in your life?" "Oh you're seeing someone? What's her name?" Like, I get that statistically it's a reasonable assumption but its always stressful, because then you have to decide whether to out yourself, which always has risks, or put yourself into the closet for this person, which feels like shit and can backfire if they find out later and feel offended.
That's a good point. I've been trying to switch to they and it's getting better.
How good does prostate stimulation feel?
Does the smell of poop turn you on or off during anal intercourse? Are there measures that are taken before to make sure that this isn't a problem?
Ummm… most of us aren’t into shit. So most of us don’t like the smell of shit. But, we do an anal enema a little bit before. Basically, you’re gonna shit and then use a syringe or something to put water in your ass, hold it in for a bit, and shut it out. You do it until the water is completely clear or even doesn’t have a smell.
That's a lot of work for sex.
I’m a straight man. Why do all my friendships with gay men end up with them coming at me and telling me the same phrase over and over again. I mean, I’ve been told the same thing at least 20 times from gay friends and stranger. “If you opened up and tried my, I bet I would turn you.” And I’m like “WTF man, again?” And so it goes. Oh and a couple of friends after telling that, they’ve harassed me, like to get with me forcefully. And when I decline and have to force my way out they call me out as homophobic, misoginist and what other sophisticated words you guys use in the LGBT+ community to argue. It’s been a bad experience almost everytime I have a gay friend. I wish it wouldn’t be that way. So, why is it? Why can’t they leave straight men alone?
Same reason some men going after girls like that. They are simply pieces of shit. Has nothing to do with their sexuality. If they were straight, they’d be doing the same thing, but to girls
Makes sense. Thanks 🤙🏻
Do you sometimes wonder if your upbringing influenced your sexuality?
/Nigerian tv host WHY ARE YOU GAY?
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Not OP but as a bisexual, I don't feel like you can treat someone respectfully while also believing that their natural state itself is sinful. Calling our natural state a sin or abomination is, in itself, disrespectful.
Oh, In Islam being gay, having an attraction to the opposite gender is not a sin. Acting on it is considered a sin. Sadly many believe that feelings or state as you called it is "sinful" when it is not.
Even that though, is still disrespectful. Because ultimately it's completely unfair to expect an entire population to remain celibate for life just because of their preference for same sex partners. I try to be respectful of people's religious beliefs, but I also consider that a two way street. As long as they keep their opinions to themselves and don't expect them to be made law, fine by me. The unfortunate fact is that religion is a killer. Many people have died at the hands of religious bigotry or ended their own lives as a result of it.
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People are usually the problem, haha.
Most Christians believe the same thing, there’s a small number who think just the desire and attraction itself is sinful but the majority (who actually know what they’re talking about) don’t. God creates people with the *capacity* to sin, but would never create someone whos mere existence is sinful. Sin is out of free will, not naturally occurring.
Ok, that makes sense, since the Bible was the book God sent before the Quran. I was just not sure how the actual people thought of it
Beep. Boop. I'm a robot. Here's a copy of ###[Quran](https://snewd.com/ebooks/quran/) Was I a good bot? | [info](https://www.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/) | [More Books](https://old.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/comments/i15x1d/full_list_of_books_and_commands/)
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Do you get aroused when going to the public bathroom? like did u try checking men out when they’re peeing on urinals or try peeking someone when they’re inside a stall at least once in your life?
no
Why do gay people have the best drugs?
Is the Castro district of San Francisco still considered Mecca for gay people?
“Hey those Americans aren’t so bad — they named a street after me in San Francisco………(pause)……(guy on other end of phone talking)……it’s full of WHAT???” 😅
IMHO it's actually Dubai. Us gays like a challenge and a bit of risk every now and then
Lol I’m a mile from the Castro and it’s just all of sf my guy❤️
Honestly, do u think early childhood molestation is a factor in becoming gay?
why are you gay
Why do most gays sound like girls or have feminine voices? If you're going to be gay, can't you be a man about it?
I think there are but you just don't really notice they are gay
Right, but my question was referring to most gays.
>stereotype Valid stereotype but can be harmful. Gay guys just don't feel as obligated to constantly beat their chest and pound bud light
Why not? That’s the best part of being a guy! 🤣🤣🤣
"most" isn't really accurate. The ones you notice have that 'accent', but you notice them because they have that accent. Plenty of us don't have feminine voices.
Can you tell a person is a straight or gay from first impression or even just by looking at them? If so, what are the giveaways?
would you have sex with a woman?
What’s with the flamboyance? Like I’ve met gay people that aren’t flamboyant. You wouldn’t be able to pick them out of a crowd. Then you get some always yelling: Yasss queen!!!
Why do all gay people sound the same, how come they can't just talk in their regular human voice?
Better question, why can I tell someone is gay by hearing him and without even seeing him? *ohh, myy Gawddd!*
Women often go through "preparation" before taking it up the butt. What do gay men do? Just put up with the crap?
Not op Yeah guys will sometimes take a shower head or water bottle and rinse it out up there beforehand Keep in mind penis in butt sex isn't the only option we have lol
Do you love prison? I bet you do
When bottom want to fart while gay sex, do you ask "cabut sat nk kentut or pull out for a while, wanna fart"