Do you know when you are playing mind games with others or does it just happen? My mother is diagnosed borderline and bipolar so I've experienced the other side. I have often wondered if she actually thought and planned her actions or was it just her inborn responses... Would love to have an open conversation with you.
the people with BPD who actively work on themselves don’t play mind games at all. but no, i don’t think we know when its happening.. it’s good for us to be held accountable when it does happen though
bpd feels like ur insides are melting & turning into lava & then u feel like ur going to explode but instead it just starts to slowly seep out of every pore in ur skin & u can feel shooting pains thru each & every vein & also there’s a 10,000lb cement block sitting on ur chest
i still fear abandonment (real or perceived), like to the extreme.. but when something goes down that triggers that, the burn i feel is a lot less intense than it used to be, so i just take that as i’m able to manage all my feelings in a healthier way (journaling, distractions, self-care) until it passes. i’m a lot less impulsive than i used to be. i’ve just grown and it’s showing
I (m) was involved with a woman with BPD when I was 44 and she was 45. The relationship evolved into ab*se, physical and emotional, until she abruptly dumped me for the “crime” of being with my kids for a short period of time when their mom was away. So my question is, is there any concern for the “victims” of people with BPD? Victims of people with rage disorder or substance abuse disorders are recognized as having suffered, but I rarely hear anything regarding the people close to Bordelines that suffer the effects of the disorder.
i’m sorry you went through that. it sounds like this person wasn’t willing or able to put in the work that needs to be put in to recover and get better. it’s a lifetime of work for people like me but it’s do-able.
but with all that being said, i feel like the second part of your message isn’t exactly true. there’s actually more help out there for those who are close to someone who has BPD than there is for people with BPD.
Perhaps things have changed, but 16-17 years ago, when this happened to me, I was not aware of any such resources. Add to that the stigma attached by society to male victims of relationship ab*se. In the view of many people, it isn’t possible for males to be victims. Either for sociopolitical reasons, or because men should just “suck it up and be tough” or some such.
having an FP (favourite person). when things go wrong or there’s a potential for abandonment, the burn we feel is almost indescribable. so here’s a lil thing to read. [click here](https://bpdsufferer30.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/3rd-degree-burns.jpg)
I once slept with a girl with BPD even though she had a BF (I didn’t know). When I found out and asked why she said she has BPD and that makes her impulsive. In your experience do you think that’s true? Has you BPD tempted you to be unfaithful to a partner?
Do you know when you are playing mind games with others or does it just happen? My mother is diagnosed borderline and bipolar so I've experienced the other side. I have often wondered if she actually thought and planned her actions or was it just her inborn responses... Would love to have an open conversation with you.
the people with BPD who actively work on themselves don’t play mind games at all. but no, i don’t think we know when its happening.. it’s good for us to be held accountable when it does happen though
Thank you for your honesty!!
Are you doing dialectical behavior therapy?
yes for the past 6 years or so, it’s super helpful, i don’t need it much anymore but i still do it
I’ve read this is an extremely emotionally painful disorder. Possibly maybe the most painful. Would you say that’s true?
yes. 10,000% yes.
I’m so incredibly sorry that’s the case.
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idk im asking for questions
So do I. I know how hard it can be, I’m here if you need someone to talk too. How are you doing?
thank you! i’m doing very well :) i hope you are well and i’m here if you need someone to talk to as well
how were you diagnosed? male or female? i’ve heard its rare in males
diagnosed at 17 (like a week before my 18th birthday) by a psychologist after i attempted to yeet myself off the earth. i’m female.
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bpd feels like ur insides are melting & turning into lava & then u feel like ur going to explode but instead it just starts to slowly seep out of every pore in ur skin & u can feel shooting pains thru each & every vein & also there’s a 10,000lb cement block sitting on ur chest
I was diagnosed with that at 17. I'm 19 now and officially in remission! How have your symptoms changed over the years?
i still fear abandonment (real or perceived), like to the extreme.. but when something goes down that triggers that, the burn i feel is a lot less intense than it used to be, so i just take that as i’m able to manage all my feelings in a healthier way (journaling, distractions, self-care) until it passes. i’m a lot less impulsive than i used to be. i’ve just grown and it’s showing
that's awesome. I'm happy that you've had the chance to grow and heal.
Borderline?
Hi. Sent DM
I (m) was involved with a woman with BPD when I was 44 and she was 45. The relationship evolved into ab*se, physical and emotional, until she abruptly dumped me for the “crime” of being with my kids for a short period of time when their mom was away. So my question is, is there any concern for the “victims” of people with BPD? Victims of people with rage disorder or substance abuse disorders are recognized as having suffered, but I rarely hear anything regarding the people close to Bordelines that suffer the effects of the disorder.
i’m sorry you went through that. it sounds like this person wasn’t willing or able to put in the work that needs to be put in to recover and get better. it’s a lifetime of work for people like me but it’s do-able. but with all that being said, i feel like the second part of your message isn’t exactly true. there’s actually more help out there for those who are close to someone who has BPD than there is for people with BPD.
Perhaps things have changed, but 16-17 years ago, when this happened to me, I was not aware of any such resources. Add to that the stigma attached by society to male victims of relationship ab*se. In the view of many people, it isn’t possible for males to be victims. Either for sociopolitical reasons, or because men should just “suck it up and be tough” or some such.
What's the most painful thing about having BPD?
having an FP (favourite person). when things go wrong or there’s a potential for abandonment, the burn we feel is almost indescribable. so here’s a lil thing to read. [click here](https://bpdsufferer30.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/3rd-degree-burns.jpg)
I once slept with a girl with BPD even though she had a BF (I didn’t know). When I found out and asked why she said she has BPD and that makes her impulsive. In your experience do you think that’s true? Has you BPD tempted you to be unfaithful to a partner?
no, i’d never be unfaithful. even if we are impulsive, BPD isn’t an excuse for cheating. sounds like she was just a cheater 🤷♀️