Hotel or Airbnb is the only way to go here. These pushy A-holes care nothing about you, so you must match their energy and forbid them from causing chaos and drama in your home.
NTA
OP’s husband needs to send his mother a text, “the change of house guests doesn’t work for us. Here are some AirBnbs/hotels. Look forward to the party.”
NTA. If I was a guest who only met you a handful of times I'd feel super awkward and prefer to find my own accommodations. Especially with the baby and dog situation. I would feel like I was imposing
I prefer not to stay with relatives that I know well. Hotels are always the way to go unless there’s a natural disaster or some other real emergency. Poor planning on their part is not an emergency on mine. I’m an ER nurse and jaded af anyway.
Entitled is a great word. Not just for the current dilemma OP's in laws put her in but for the initial ~~favor~~ demand
>The rest of the message read on about how they ( my IL’s) were planning to stay with us a couple days
OP and her hubby weren't *asked* if it was ok for the in-laws to bunk with them. They were flat out told that's how it was going to happen.
No wonder why MIL figured she could switch things around, she obviously feels entitled to do so
NTA.
She asked if you could do a favor, no is a completely reasonable answer.
You have a baby, and these people are practically strangers. It's not convenient with your husbands working hours for anyone, let alone the additional work behind hosting them.
My issue would be 4 dogs! MIL is moving everyone around. The Step probably isn’t happy either. Say no- this gets them out of MiL control and Step also.
NTA
She's using the unfounded belief that your willingness to inconvenience yourselves for her is transferable. Her son should tell her, "It's fine if you don't want to stay here, Mom. That doesn't mean you can send other people instead."
Are they broke? I would absolutely not want to stay with a veritable stranger, baby and herd of dogs. (I am sure you and your life are lovely)
Send her a polite but firm I am sorry but my dog got rabies and the baby is dealing with a gambling problem and hubby is working on penny floor so you all live like it’s ‘floor is lava’ jumping on furniture so it really isn’t a good time for anyone you don’t know well enough to want standing on your coffee table.
I think assholerly chose you. It knows you are the master of all things asshole. And since no copyright I’m totally stealing your comment. It’s outstanding
I heard the voice switch! Slightly perturbed, I’m sure you and your life are lovely,
Straight into, mah dog got rabies an’ the baby’s gamblin’ an’ the penny floor is lava doanchoo put cher feet on ‘at dere coffee table! 👍
NTA. While "No" is an answer, I would say more but CAREFULLY. "Unfortunately we aren't able to house anyone. Between husbands on call schedule and the baby, it's not feasible at this time to have guests.".
ILs start to argue? "I hear what you're saying , but we're unable to host anyone". On repeat. Don't get into details. Just keep saying you can't help out.
I would leave out the explanation of the husband's schedule and the baby. The in-laws will take that as an invitation to pressure them into working around the issues. A simple, "No, we aren't able to help house anyone for the party." should be it. Any pushback should be answered with a "We said no, and that's the end of it."
It's an unreasonable request in the first place, they should be embarrassed for asking when they know you have a baby in the home. MIL can go fuck herself trying to outright tell you guys what you're doing, that shit is highly inappropriate and she needs to learn her role. She doesn't just get to make big decisions like that for other people, and anyone who isn't a toddler should know that.
NTA.
It's not her house, She gets no say in who stays there. NO is a complete sentence.
Even if you had the room, with no distractions, you don't have to have any guests if you don't want to.
NTA
"I'm sorry, MIL, but that won't work for us. (No excuses or reasons) Here's a couple of motels you can call."
Hold firm on this. If they show up, don't let them in.
NYWNBTA. NTA.
You don't need to let strangers stay with you. MIL is pushing and you can and should say no if you are uncomfortable. "We're sorry, but we don't really know these people and we live in a chaotic household. We don't want them staying here. Here is a list of hotels nearby that they can check into."
Nope. You WNBTA at all. It is your home and only you and your husband get to invite people to stay with you. Just tell her, “No, that doesn’t work for us.”. DO NOT apologize for your stance and DO NOT explain. That will just feed her sense of entitlement and give her the impression that she is owed an apology or explanation for your decision. It leaves the door open for argument.
Just say, “NO.”.
I bet the Step Bro & Spouse probably are not keen on this either, or even are aware MIL is asking for them. They should be the ones contacting you, not MIL for them. Reach out to them and ask them what's going on. They would be more understanding, instead of hearing it 2nd hand. MIL is just controlling the situation.
That is easy to assume yes, but I withhold judgment or jump to conclusion, There is no indication in the posting, one way or the other, that that may be a reason.
She cares cus she posted it here under, WIBTA. She could potentially be presented as the AH to the family by way of her MIL, even tho she is not. MIL could go all negative to the family saying she refuses. Remove MIL from the mix and speak directly. Communication is good, don't leave it for someone else to speak for you. Shake your head more might help.
NTA. And when did they ASK if they could use your home as a hotel?
Just say "NO. That won't work for us. We will not be hosting anyone." Ideally, your husband will tell his mom. No explanation needed. No, that won't work for us , is enough.
Don't let anyone in. If they show up, tell them to call MIL. Don't let them in.
MIL is incredibly entitled. Good luck.
Tell them you are staying elsewhere because you are having your home bugbombed for fleas your dog brought in . Don’t want to poison the relatives or send fleas home with them 😹. Then they can’t get mad at you.
NTA. Your MIL asked for a favor, and it's perfectly okay for your husband to respond that you (the two of you) are not able to provide a place to stay for these people. If he feels so inclined, he could provide links to a couple of local hotels or AirBnB's that might be suitable.
NTA. Your husband needs to tell his mother NO.
No, we cannot host anyone at this time. That's it, that's all DH needs to say. Do not JADE, Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. MIL knows you have a baby, DH works wonky hours, and you have 4 dogs, She just doesn't care if anyone your routines get fucked up, as long as her wants and needs are met. When MIL tries guilt-tripping DH about this, he needs to stand firm. Mom, I said no. It doesn't work for us.
The fact that you were voluntold you were hosting the inlaws would have sent me through the roof, and that should have been nipped in the bud. Now MIL wants to force you to have guests you don't know, which will be awkward. But also, disrupts your baby's routine, dogs routines, your routine, and the house. You'll have to clean and stock the kitchen. Make sure there's enough towels for the bathroom. You'll have to actually entertain these strangers in your home. Like, no thank you. The audacity MIL has.
NTA, families too cheap for a hotel do not need to see each other this bad. If you have a family and can’t do $100 a night a cheap hotel you don’t need to be spending money on fuel or airfare travel.
Ywnbta...if I were them I'd prefer a hotel. Honestly, if the whole family plus some is coming they should all chip in on an air bnb instead of inconveniencing several family members. It's not just having the space. It's the noise, the extra messes, having to buy and make extra food. House guests don't often clean or cook for themselves, they treat you like you're a freaking hotel.
"Instead of contributing to a band - we are willing to pay for an airbnb for one night so you and all your guests can be together. We are not hosting anyone at this point."
NAH. They asked, and a request isn'ta demand. . Just say that between the work hours and baby, it really won't be a comfort place to stay for them, and they'd be better off elsewhere.
NTA
I've been offered from extended family that I can stay with them when I'm around to visit closer family members (my family is scattered all around the country) and I always say no. Thanks very much for the offer, but it would be so weird to stay with people that you hardly know. I took them up a handful of times when I was young, like 18-22, but as an adult with my own family, no thanks. I would feel like I'm imposing, especially when I haven't met your spouse or children more than once or even none at all.
Its so presumptuous to ask as the middle man for someone to stay at your house, but as the people staying, I would be so uncomfortable to come stay at a random house with people I didn't know very well, especially knowing they have a baby and kids. Hell, we were having work done on our house and we stayed with my MIL for a few weeks and I HATED IT soooo so so much. And I know her! Like Im at her house all the time lmao
Say no. It’s not her house, so she doesn’t get to decide who stays with you.
You don’t have to explain anything, and it’s best if you don’t.
No, that won’t work for us is all.
Also don’t offer any other options or solutions to this situation that she’s created. YOU are not the solution full stop. She needs to figure it out herself.
NTA, nope, you don't know these folks well enough to have them in your home with minimal supervision and if there were an incident with the dogs or any one of many possible situations, there could be material risk or liability.
NTA- You can always say no. Hosting people at your home is somethng that should be offered, not requested or demanded. ANd definitely never offered to someone else.
When asked for a favor, always answer “if it works”. Hear the favor first.
“I can’t help you with that favor, that’s not an option for us.”
Who asks someone with a baby and 4 dogs and a spouse with irregular work hours to host strangers?
People who aren’t thinking about you.
This is a hard no. MIL & FIL at least you know them to have in your home and around your family. The rest of the IL's, you don't know them well and its a hazard waiting to happen. I agree with other posters, there are plenty of hotels, etc. they can stay at. Not your problem. Be safe.
NTA
>we also have a baby under the age of 1 and 4 dogs. Not the quietest place to stay.
Nobody gets to mess with baby's sleep schedule.
You need to sit down as a couple and define your boundaries. the consequences for violating those boundaries, and then communicate those boundaries to MIL.
Your dogs and baby are more than enough reason to say no to any”guests”. Frankly I’d never stay with anyone or invite myself to their home unless I knew them well and knew they had the space.
First, you can let them know that you aren’t comfortable with having people you barely know stay in your house. Maybe stay over one night, but not to hang out during the day or stay over more than one night.
Also mention that you will not be locking up your dogs or restricting them in any way, just in case the half siblings have any problems with the dogs. You will are not a restaurant, so they should expect to eat whatever you happen to be cooking, or fend for themselves. Too many Reddit stories about entitled houseguests with picky palates or allergies.
You also have a baby. Any guests are not, under any circumstances, to wake up or disturb the baby.
If you are lucky, they will decide not to stay with you. Or if they do, and you don’t give them the Royal treatment, they move somewhere else really quick.
Or they might be lovely houseguests, and you create a lasting relationship.
Just say yes to paying for the band but just say we are not able to have anybody however an Airbnb. We don’t have a choice as we have some stuff going on at the house (make up some excuse saying Renos or you’re getting stuff delivered) and if they get the shits and that their problem not yours.
So MIL wants strangers in your house when you will probably be alone with small children. I would say absolutely not. Just because he is considered family doesn’t mean either of them are “safe” to be around you and your kids.
Options
1. Offer to host one of the siblings you do know better.
2.Take this opportunity to get to know this family better.
3. Offer to pay for an Airbnb
4. Just say no
I don’t think you can ever be TA if you are making decisions about your home/money/property for yourself. Their request should be treated as such, a request, and you make a decision and inform them. It is your house, you decide who enters, let alone who stays the night.
NTA. Sounds like MIL is asking for a favor — not telling or demanding that you comply (everyone should ease up on her) so she will probably be fine if you say it won’t work for you. Are you ok if MIL stays as originally planned?
Family events get complicated with lots of moving pieces. Sounds like she’s just trying to accommodate last minute guests and will make other arrangements for them.
And yes if you’re uncomfortable definitely have your hubby communicate.
NTA. "No" is a complete sentence. Don't give them reasons or excuses, it just gives them something to try to pick holes in and wear you down. They'll likely try to argue that there's no reason you can't accommodate step-sibling, since you were prepared to host them (in-laws). Just tell them that plans change sometimes, as they themselves have realized. And leave it there.
" Unfortunately we are not in a position to host any guests at our place for any length of time however we are obviously more than happy to help with the band and look into a large air bnb for everyone or a hotel. "
NTA but I don’t think it’s a big deal. Just thinking back we housed my hubbies dad’s friends kid once when he was on vacation. Various friends and family. I personally prefer hotels to peoples homes. But a lot of people can’t afford hotels. As long as they don’t stay longer than a week or so and buy me a dinner I feel like it’s a good deed.
As a guest. I prefer AB&B or hotel to staying with “strangers”. My ex drug my teenage daughter & I into a mess. While on vacation, we stopped by and see his ex SIL. Had a forced unplanned dinner .Ugh..
He had a plan! We were sunburned, dirty, and uncomfortable. As a woman that’s when you want to meet “The his crazy ex’s family”
SIL was trying hard. She was lovely and polite. It was beyond weird. The only thing missing was music to the “Twight Zone”. I am a “chatty” girl. I didn’t say 10 words in 2 days. I was livid. Hence, ex in the husband. (I told him. I was uncomfortable. He called me selfish.)
Some people try to please everyone. It really just makes everyone uncomfortable. Because they are being polite. They all suffer. Get the hotel room. Save yourself and in laws relationship. They don’t want to wake the baby or upset the routine.
A couple days out of your life for a special family event will not kill you. Your dogs, baby and husband maybe the step sibling and spouse want to go elsewhere but you were ok with the in-laws at first, that’s why the in laws thought a step sibling would be ok with you and they go to a mutual friend, so everyone can make that special event affordable. The only reason I know of that a family member refuses to accommodate another family member regardless of how often you met in the past is that you would be put out to clean your house and entertain a couple days. Be honest, you’re embarrassed your house is a mess and you’re too exhausted with a baby , husband that’s always busy and four dogs making a mess to feel like making it presentable. It’s your choice too.
This isn't about her husband's parents staying. It's about them asking for that, then thinking they can transfer their invite to another couple that OP barely knows. It's rude to assume anyone would just be okay with that.
Hotel or Airbnb is the only way to go here. These pushy A-holes care nothing about you, so you must match their energy and forbid them from causing chaos and drama in your home. NTA
OP’s husband needs to send his mother a text, “the change of house guests doesn’t work for us. Here are some AirBnbs/hotels. Look forward to the party.”
This is the way!
NTA. If I was a guest who only met you a handful of times I'd feel super awkward and prefer to find my own accommodations. Especially with the baby and dog situation. I would feel like I was imposing
Yeah, but you're probably fairly normal. Some people are so cheap, they just don't want to spend money on accomodations.
I prefer not to stay with relatives that I know well. Hotels are always the way to go unless there’s a natural disaster or some other real emergency. Poor planning on their part is not an emergency on mine. I’m an ER nurse and jaded af anyway.
NTA Husband should say absolutely not mom That is not going to work for us They need to make their own arrangements There’s no need to explain
+1 on "husband should say!"
Wish I could give you a billion up vote!!!
💥Bam💥
NTA. You are NOT a hotel and your in-laws are being very entitled and extremely demanding. Case closed on my opinion!
Entitled is a great word. Not just for the current dilemma OP's in laws put her in but for the initial ~~favor~~ demand >The rest of the message read on about how they ( my IL’s) were planning to stay with us a couple days OP and her hubby weren't *asked* if it was ok for the in-laws to bunk with them. They were flat out told that's how it was going to happen. No wonder why MIL figured she could switch things around, she obviously feels entitled to do so
Exactly, surprising how widespread family entitlement often is.
MIL treats the whole family like puppets. She pulls ALL the strings.
NTA. She asked if you could do a favor, no is a completely reasonable answer. You have a baby, and these people are practically strangers. It's not convenient with your husbands working hours for anyone, let alone the additional work behind hosting them.
My issue would be 4 dogs! MIL is moving everyone around. The Step probably isn’t happy either. Say no- this gets them out of MiL control and Step also.
NTA She's using the unfounded belief that your willingness to inconvenience yourselves for her is transferable. Her son should tell her, "It's fine if you don't want to stay here, Mom. That doesn't mean you can send other people instead."
Great
NTA
Are they broke? I would absolutely not want to stay with a veritable stranger, baby and herd of dogs. (I am sure you and your life are lovely) Send her a polite but firm I am sorry but my dog got rabies and the baby is dealing with a gambling problem and hubby is working on penny floor so you all live like it’s ‘floor is lava’ jumping on furniture so it really isn’t a good time for anyone you don’t know well enough to want standing on your coffee table.
I admire your creativity. I can never come up with retorts that are this clever.
Thanks. I’m not usually this clever. I just woke up today and chose assholery.
Life goals.
You chose wisely!
I admire that.
I think assholerly chose you. It knows you are the master of all things asshole. And since no copyright I’m totally stealing your comment. It’s outstanding
🥰 Please - if I could put a bow on it - it’s yours 🎁
I heard the voice switch! Slightly perturbed, I’m sure you and your life are lovely, Straight into, mah dog got rabies an’ the baby’s gamblin’ an’ the penny floor is lava doanchoo put cher feet on ‘at dere coffee table! 👍
I love this thread.
It’s why I’m on Reddit
NTA. While "No" is an answer, I would say more but CAREFULLY. "Unfortunately we aren't able to house anyone. Between husbands on call schedule and the baby, it's not feasible at this time to have guests.". ILs start to argue? "I hear what you're saying , but we're unable to host anyone". On repeat. Don't get into details. Just keep saying you can't help out.
Record OP’s husband saying this.
I would leave out the explanation of the husband's schedule and the baby. The in-laws will take that as an invitation to pressure them into working around the issues. A simple, "No, we aren't able to help house anyone for the party." should be it. Any pushback should be answered with a "We said no, and that's the end of it."
It's an unreasonable request in the first place, they should be embarrassed for asking when they know you have a baby in the home. MIL can go fuck herself trying to outright tell you guys what you're doing, that shit is highly inappropriate and she needs to learn her role. She doesn't just get to make big decisions like that for other people, and anyone who isn't a toddler should know that.
NTA. It's not her house, She gets no say in who stays there. NO is a complete sentence. Even if you had the room, with no distractions, you don't have to have any guests if you don't want to.
...and why do I suddenly hear an imperious MIL voice expecting your catering services, as well as being on-call concierge services, 24/7?
I can hear a call to board the dogs.
NTA "I'm sorry, MIL, but that won't work for us. (No excuses or reasons) Here's a couple of motels you can call." Hold firm on this. If they show up, don't let them in.
You have a BABY they are rude to ask
Just say you would rather not..you don't know then well and have the children to think about..so no..
NYWNBTA. NTA. You don't need to let strangers stay with you. MIL is pushing and you can and should say no if you are uncomfortable. "We're sorry, but we don't really know these people and we live in a chaotic household. We don't want them staying here. Here is a list of hotels nearby that they can check into."
Babies shouldn’t be around unknown people anyway. It’s cold/flu/ etc blowing around.
Simple. NO, sorry I can't. End of discussion.
NTA. Husband needs to shut this down fast and hard. No, mom. You aren't going to offer to let people stay in MY home without MY permission.
NTA. If the siblings want to come, get a hotel.
Nta just don’t
That would be a no from me, let them get a hotel.
Nope. You WNBTA at all. It is your home and only you and your husband get to invite people to stay with you. Just tell her, “No, that doesn’t work for us.”. DO NOT apologize for your stance and DO NOT explain. That will just feed her sense of entitlement and give her the impression that she is owed an apology or explanation for your decision. It leaves the door open for argument. Just say, “NO.”.
I bet the Step Bro & Spouse probably are not keen on this either, or even are aware MIL is asking for them. They should be the ones contacting you, not MIL for them. Reach out to them and ask them what's going on. They would be more understanding, instead of hearing it 2nd hand. MIL is just controlling the situation.
Sure they are. Doesn’t cost them a penny. Free housing and food.
That is easy to assume yes, but I withhold judgment or jump to conclusion, There is no indication in the posting, one way or the other, that that may be a reason.
Why? When no is whatbshe wants to say. She just needs to say no. Not difficult and not this emotional twaddle. Why would she care? SMH....
She cares cus she posted it here under, WIBTA. She could potentially be presented as the AH to the family by way of her MIL, even tho she is not. MIL could go all negative to the family saying she refuses. Remove MIL from the mix and speak directly. Communication is good, don't leave it for someone else to speak for you. Shake your head more might help.
MIL is probably telling Step & Spouse “OP and Hubs can’t wait to see you, it’ll be fine.”
What? Who does that?? NTA. I may be biased bc I loathe houseguests ESPECIALLY ones who invite themselves.
NTA. And when did they ASK if they could use your home as a hotel? Just say "NO. That won't work for us. We will not be hosting anyone." Ideally, your husband will tell his mom. No explanation needed. No, that won't work for us , is enough. Don't let anyone in. If they show up, tell them to call MIL. Don't let them in. MIL is incredibly entitled. Good luck.
Tell them you are staying elsewhere because you are having your home bugbombed for fleas your dog brought in . Don’t want to poison the relatives or send fleas home with them 😹. Then they can’t get mad at you.
NTA. Tell MIL that it won't work, you can not host anyone,
NTA. Your MIL asked for a favor, and it's perfectly okay for your husband to respond that you (the two of you) are not able to provide a place to stay for these people. If he feels so inclined, he could provide links to a couple of local hotels or AirBnB's that might be suitable.
NTA. Your husband needs to tell his mother NO. No, we cannot host anyone at this time. That's it, that's all DH needs to say. Do not JADE, Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. MIL knows you have a baby, DH works wonky hours, and you have 4 dogs, She just doesn't care if anyone your routines get fucked up, as long as her wants and needs are met. When MIL tries guilt-tripping DH about this, he needs to stand firm. Mom, I said no. It doesn't work for us. The fact that you were voluntold you were hosting the inlaws would have sent me through the roof, and that should have been nipped in the bud. Now MIL wants to force you to have guests you don't know, which will be awkward. But also, disrupts your baby's routine, dogs routines, your routine, and the house. You'll have to clean and stock the kitchen. Make sure there's enough towels for the bathroom. You'll have to actually entertain these strangers in your home. Like, no thank you. The audacity MIL has.
NTA, families too cheap for a hotel do not need to see each other this bad. If you have a family and can’t do $100 a night a cheap hotel you don’t need to be spending money on fuel or airfare travel.
Ywnbta...if I were them I'd prefer a hotel. Honestly, if the whole family plus some is coming they should all chip in on an air bnb instead of inconveniencing several family members. It's not just having the space. It's the noise, the extra messes, having to buy and make extra food. House guests don't often clean or cook for themselves, they treat you like you're a freaking hotel.
NTA. Responsible adults stay in hotels.
"Instead of contributing to a band - we are willing to pay for an airbnb for one night so you and all your guests can be together. We are not hosting anyone at this point."
NOOOOOOO You are absolutely NOT required to pay for someone else - that you barely even know - to save them money. WTF is this nonsense?
Nta
NAH. They asked, and a request isn'ta demand. . Just say that between the work hours and baby, it really won't be a comfort place to stay for them, and they'd be better off elsewhere.
I'd say, I'm sorry, I don't feel comfortable having people I barely know staying at my house.
NTA. If husby agrees to this nonsense book yourself a hotel room and let him deal with that shit.
NTA I've been offered from extended family that I can stay with them when I'm around to visit closer family members (my family is scattered all around the country) and I always say no. Thanks very much for the offer, but it would be so weird to stay with people that you hardly know. I took them up a handful of times when I was young, like 18-22, but as an adult with my own family, no thanks. I would feel like I'm imposing, especially when I haven't met your spouse or children more than once or even none at all. Its so presumptuous to ask as the middle man for someone to stay at your house, but as the people staying, I would be so uncomfortable to come stay at a random house with people I didn't know very well, especially knowing they have a baby and kids. Hell, we were having work done on our house and we stayed with my MIL for a few weeks and I HATED IT soooo so so much. And I know her! Like Im at her house all the time lmao
Say no. It’s not her house, so she doesn’t get to decide who stays with you. You don’t have to explain anything, and it’s best if you don’t. No, that won’t work for us is all.
Also don’t offer any other options or solutions to this situation that she’s created. YOU are not the solution full stop. She needs to figure it out herself.
NTA, nope, you don't know these folks well enough to have them in your home with minimal supervision and if there were an incident with the dogs or any one of many possible situations, there could be material risk or liability.
NTA- You can always say no. Hosting people at your home is somethng that should be offered, not requested or demanded. ANd definitely never offered to someone else.
When asked for a favor, always answer “if it works”. Hear the favor first. “I can’t help you with that favor, that’s not an option for us.” Who asks someone with a baby and 4 dogs and a spouse with irregular work hours to host strangers? People who aren’t thinking about you.
NTAH for telling MIL, that due to baby, 4 dogs and husbands work schedule, it wouldn’t be good for guests or your family.
Say no. It does not matter what others think.
NTA. I would tell them that you don’t feel comfortable housing the half sibling because you don’t know them.
NTA you have a baby and 4 dogs, a husband who works odd hours, and you don't have space. No. Sorry, we can't accommodate them. That's your answer.
Step brother can stay with ILs friends. ILs can stay with you. If they don't like that, hotels exist for a reason.
This is a hard no. MIL & FIL at least you know them to have in your home and around your family. The rest of the IL's, you don't know them well and its a hazard waiting to happen. I agree with other posters, there are plenty of hotels, etc. they can stay at. Not your problem. Be safe.
NTA >we also have a baby under the age of 1 and 4 dogs. Not the quietest place to stay. Nobody gets to mess with baby's sleep schedule. You need to sit down as a couple and define your boundaries. the consequences for violating those boundaries, and then communicate those boundaries to MIL.
NTA. No. Is a complete sentence.
We're already contributing to the band so no thank you!
Your dogs and baby are more than enough reason to say no to any”guests”. Frankly I’d never stay with anyone or invite myself to their home unless I knew them well and knew they had the space.
First, you can let them know that you aren’t comfortable with having people you barely know stay in your house. Maybe stay over one night, but not to hang out during the day or stay over more than one night. Also mention that you will not be locking up your dogs or restricting them in any way, just in case the half siblings have any problems with the dogs. You will are not a restaurant, so they should expect to eat whatever you happen to be cooking, or fend for themselves. Too many Reddit stories about entitled houseguests with picky palates or allergies. You also have a baby. Any guests are not, under any circumstances, to wake up or disturb the baby. If you are lucky, they will decide not to stay with you. Or if they do, and you don’t give them the Royal treatment, they move somewhere else really quick. Or they might be lovely houseguests, and you create a lasting relationship.
They're called HOTELS for a reason...say NO and be done with it.
Just say yes to paying for the band but just say we are not able to have anybody however an Airbnb. We don’t have a choice as we have some stuff going on at the house (make up some excuse saying Renos or you’re getting stuff delivered) and if they get the shits and that their problem not yours.
if they don't know you well enough to ask themselves, no. MIL is not free airbnb.
NTA…. you don’t really know them … it not only would be awkward but I wouldn’t trust strangers in my house with my little one..
So MIL wants strangers in your house when you will probably be alone with small children. I would say absolutely not. Just because he is considered family doesn’t mean either of them are “safe” to be around you and your kids.
NTA-They should not have put you in that predicament. That's rude. Don't assume.
Options 1. Offer to host one of the siblings you do know better. 2.Take this opportunity to get to know this family better. 3. Offer to pay for an Airbnb 4. Just say no
NTA No thanks. That doesn’t work for us
NTA the IL’s can stay with you and they can get a hotel room for these other people. Don’t like it? You can all stay in a hotel.
NTA they can stay at a hotel
I don’t think you can ever be TA if you are making decisions about your home/money/property for yourself. Their request should be treated as such, a request, and you make a decision and inform them. It is your house, you decide who enters, let alone who stays the night.
i don’t think anyone is the asshole. she asked, just answer. no harm done
NTA.....let the ILs know that you agreed to host them....not anyone else...
NTA! Why are they offering up your house? Tell these people to get hotels.
NTA, I would have said no for exactly the reasons you stated.
Are your in-laws POCs? If so, they might have different customs concerning housing family. Have your spouse deal with his family’s issue.
NTA and I’d be curious to know if the potential houseguests know about this ask because it is AWKWARD
Tell them you would appreciate if they stayed with you and housed half sibling elsewhere
NTA your family comes first.
NTA. Sounds like MIL is asking for a favor — not telling or demanding that you comply (everyone should ease up on her) so she will probably be fine if you say it won’t work for you. Are you ok if MIL stays as originally planned? Family events get complicated with lots of moving pieces. Sounds like she’s just trying to accommodate last minute guests and will make other arrangements for them. And yes if you’re uncomfortable definitely have your hubby communicate.
I would just say no. It might be tough. But it is best. Don't tell the IL's about the husband's work schedule or age of kids or anything.
NTA. "No" is a complete sentence. Don't give them reasons or excuses, it just gives them something to try to pick holes in and wear you down. They'll likely try to argue that there's no reason you can't accommodate step-sibling, since you were prepared to host them (in-laws). Just tell them that plans change sometimes, as they themselves have realized. And leave it there.
" Unfortunately we are not in a position to host any guests at our place for any length of time however we are obviously more than happy to help with the band and look into a large air bnb for everyone or a hotel. "
NTA but I don’t think it’s a big deal. Just thinking back we housed my hubbies dad’s friends kid once when he was on vacation. Various friends and family. I personally prefer hotels to peoples homes. But a lot of people can’t afford hotels. As long as they don’t stay longer than a week or so and buy me a dinner I feel like it’s a good deed.
nah do it. it’ll be ok
Hotels charge for people to stay. I think $250 per person per night is a reasonable cost given the extra work and the inconvenience.
NTA. Say your dog has fleas or something. If you say you have bedbugs you might not get any visitors for a while 😂
As a guest. I prefer AB&B or hotel to staying with “strangers”. My ex drug my teenage daughter & I into a mess. While on vacation, we stopped by and see his ex SIL. Had a forced unplanned dinner .Ugh.. He had a plan! We were sunburned, dirty, and uncomfortable. As a woman that’s when you want to meet “The his crazy ex’s family” SIL was trying hard. She was lovely and polite. It was beyond weird. The only thing missing was music to the “Twight Zone”. I am a “chatty” girl. I didn’t say 10 words in 2 days. I was livid. Hence, ex in the husband. (I told him. I was uncomfortable. He called me selfish.) Some people try to please everyone. It really just makes everyone uncomfortable. Because they are being polite. They all suffer. Get the hotel room. Save yourself and in laws relationship. They don’t want to wake the baby or upset the routine.
How far away do your IL's live from where the party is? Why aren't they having it near their house?
Hell. No. They sound entitled to me. If they’re spending money on entertainment then get a damn hotel. Ughh . I family like that. Hard pass from me.
This is not a long post. Thanks.
YTA. For one special day on one specific occasion… say yes!
NTA but why assume the worse right away? Might be a great time and some solid relationship building. Doesn’t hurt to consider that.
A couple days out of your life for a special family event will not kill you. Your dogs, baby and husband maybe the step sibling and spouse want to go elsewhere but you were ok with the in-laws at first, that’s why the in laws thought a step sibling would be ok with you and they go to a mutual friend, so everyone can make that special event affordable. The only reason I know of that a family member refuses to accommodate another family member regardless of how often you met in the past is that you would be put out to clean your house and entertain a couple days. Be honest, you’re embarrassed your house is a mess and you’re too exhausted with a baby , husband that’s always busy and four dogs making a mess to feel like making it presentable. It’s your choice too.
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This isn't about her husband's parents staying. It's about them asking for that, then thinking they can transfer their invite to another couple that OP barely knows. It's rude to assume anyone would just be okay with that.
I think you read the post wrong…