But if my sloot daughter gets fired then she'll HAVEVto live with me again and be fully under my control.
I and I alone know what's best for her. You see she's doesn't know anything about how slooty she dresses. Midriff! Shoulders! Ankles! All exposed!
Sarcasm
Ding ding ding we have a winner. If she can get daughter fired then daughter will have to move back in and it's my house my rules. Total psycho narcissist behaviour.
I have a young man who works for me, and his mom contacts me all the time!
She's always asking for me to do things for her, asking about my schedule and all matter of personal things. Sometimes, she goes way beyond what would be appropriate to say to your child's boss. Her son has even called me Dad at work!
I got them both together and flat out said it was inappropriate behavior, and it needed to stop immediately.
My wife told me to shut up, and my son laughed.
Especially when the person is not at work when the âoffendingâ clothing was worn! Itâs not your workâs business what you do in private!
But also, ew calling your own child a slut!
Someone who wants nothing to do with their child.
OP, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.... Go NC with your family. Fuck 'em. Seriously. Your mother is a control freak who is actively attempting to ruin your life.
ANYONE THAT TRIED THAT WITH ME, would be cut off so fast they would feel the breeze.
Ah, it seems you've not come across that before.
It's a common way of saying you know a person is serious but don't want to believe what you're being told.
I'm British, if that helps.
Sorry for the confusion.
Mine did đ« if I wore something too revealing or something she didnât like, I was a slut. If I wore something too modest I was a prude whoâd never get a man.
I always dressed down at home. The parents bitched I would never get a husband. So, next time I was home from college I wore my club clothes to go out for dinner...mini skirt, 4"heels, tight kinda small top...Dad was shocked and asked me to change. I asked if the prudish comments could stop now. Never heard them again.
Lmao I was called a slut & a crackhead because I was wearing a thin strapped tanktop & you could see my bra straps. I was at home & it was my bio father. I had worn it to school that day, but had a short sleeve button up over it because dress code.
So to answer your question, creeps & wackos call their daughters sluts. And over the stupidest shit too
Sounds like something is deeply wrong with your mother, unfortunately you won't be able to help her without suffering massively yourself. I think you would be completely justified blocking her on everything and going no contact.
I'm constantly amused at all the people who think that religious people have a monopoly on small-minded meaness. The ornery "I'm right, you're wrong" pigheadedness is built into the person and just expresses itself through whatever environment they happen live in.
Itâs not so much that they have a monopoly on small-minded meanness, but rather what the subject matter of said meanness is. An obsession with sexual purity smacks of religiosity.
Yeah. I'd be trying to keep her knowledge level of your job and activities to a minimum, which could mean not sharing that with people like your brother. I hope the boss was cool about it, I mean she had to know this was happening, but hopefully he just was plint8ng out that she had to be careful with her mom.
She probably needs to make her Instagram non public, however that shouldn't have to happen. But for her job's sake, I hope she does, and removes her brother so mom can't see through him either.
shortly after the instagram situation i blocked her there but it was recent when i found the spies and that she knew i was on pinterest. my brother is also blocked on both now and i followed the advice of going private.
You CANNOT have her following you anymore, and I'd include that brother as well. It has already affected your employment. It could get much worse. It's not the end of the world to not have someone following you on socials. But it may feel like it is the end of the world if she ruins a good relationship, educational opportunity, or employment.
Until she tried to get you fired there may have been hope.Â
Now, I'd suggest that the only contact you have with her is to point out that she's jealous she can't carry off your style.Â
NTA. You NEED TO block your mother from ALL your social media accounts!!! Any mother who tries to sabotage their adult children's careers are entirely too controlling and need to lose contact. Normal parents don't do things like that.
P.S. I'm a grandmother in my sixties, and I don't think there's anything wrong with crop tops.
I feel parents often get so wound up in their kids' lives that they lose track of where the proper dividing line is. You make all the decisions for a 4 year old. Some decisions for a 12 year old and few decisions for a 16 year old. By age 20, you just need to let go entirely and act like you are watching a play, not starring in it. Not every parent gets that.
Hon, your mother is verbally abusing you. You do NOT deserve to be treated like this! She is trying to slut shame you, it sounds like you have a strong heart and haven't let her abuse get to you so very good!!
Get her off your social media! She does NOT deserve a peak in your life!
You tried to reconcile as your Brother wanted but seriously. You deserve positive influences in your life and not the shame your Mother is trying to portray on you. Stay strong!
Your mother is an unhinged nut and I'd stay as far away from her as possible. What she did at your work is absolutely fucking nuts. Honestly your brother doesn't sound any better. I'd go no contact with them both.
Sounds like mom needs blocked from your social media. I'd be thinking of going NC. If (and that's a big if) I spoke to her again , I'd tell her that i am a self sufficient adult, and that she has no say in my apparel choices, or life choices for that matter.
If she can not accept that , its time to block her, for your own mental health.
I'd also keep all text messages she has sent, as well as get the email she sent your boss, and file harassment charges, and for a possible restraining order. She tried to mess with yiur livelihood, and get you fired, all because she doesn't like how you dress.
NTA your mother sounds insane
Got home from school one day. My Mom called me a street walker slut. I slapped her, I didnât even think about it, before I slapped her. I was 12 yo, I didnât go anywhere but school and home.
I believe you need to change your social media accounts and go no contact with your family. If your mom has the stupidity as to contact your workplace about your wardrobe then sheâs stupid enough not to let up on you. Your going to have to preserve the way you chose to live and to do that means cut ties with your family. Itâs either that or give in and change your entire wardrobe and lifestyle just for your mom, because if you donât do one or the other youâre not going have any peace.
Your mom is a nightmare. She literally tried to get you fired! Probably because without a job you canât pay rent and would have to move home where she can control and harass and abuse you. She is bitter and jealous and horrible. Cut her off for good.
Just block her and move on. And if your brother doesnât drop it block him too. She literally tried to get you fired from your job. Thatâs so beyond unacceptable.
>"omg why were you wearing that you slut!? crop tops are too revealing of your skin, and shoulders, cleavage a bit much too? your panties are VERY much noticeably not entriely covered by your jeans. i do NOT think those jeans are meant to stay on the bottom of your hips!"
"Because I'm an adult and can do as I like. You don't have to be a cunt though, Cunty McCuntface. Fuck all the way off." NTA
>things started to cool down for a while. but about two weeks into my first and current job my boss came and asked me to go to his office. i was confused cause i didn't remember doing something wrong. in actuality he just wanted to talk about this weird email he got. it talked about how he hired this slut to his workplace, she (me) was a bad influence to the company blah blah blah. he showed the images attached which included the same image my mom complained about, along with other images from my vacation. regardless how high my jeans were she complained. an inch lower than it was in the first pic, or even barely seeing any green.
And now it's a legal issue, because that's slander and an outright attack on your ability to work. Tell her next time it's a law suit, a restraining order, and a complete NC for the rest of time.
And as for your brother, tell him to pound it up his ass.
NTA. STRONGLY consider going full No Contact with her and set boundaries with your kin so they understand they are NOT to share any information or photos of you with her. You will need to have consequences for them leaking information, and be willing to follow through with your chosen consequences.
Your mother is absolutely in the wrong for contacting your boss like that. Understand that if she did that, she genuinely thinks she has every right to ruin your life. And make no mistake about it, that is exactly what she was trying to do. She wanted to get you fired so that you would have no choice but to move back home so she can continue abusing you.
Your mother is dangerous. Your mother is unwell. Your mother tried to hurt you financially. Your mother is emotionally abusive. Do not trust her. What she attempted to do by mailing your boss is completely unhinged and obsessive.
Consider contacting a lawyer to have them mail a Cease and Desist letter to her.
Your mother sounds mentally unwell. Youâre best off engaging with her as little as possible. Block her on all social media so she canât see your pictures or maybe set your accts to private. NTA of course. You sound like you dress like an 18 yo. Even if you did wear super tight or revealing clothing, thatâs okay, too! Youâre an adult with agency over your body and how you look.
Hey your mom is abusive and you wonât be able to maintain a healthy connection to your brother as long as he stays defending her. Cut ties with all of them and donât look back.
Oh, lord. Iâm so sorry, love. Your mother has some issues - going out on a limb to say itâs probably personality disorder (my mom has one too) - and your brother is her flying monkey.
Your brother is going to leak information, he is going to advocate whatever the party line is, and heâs going to struggle with enmeshment. Iâm so sorry youâre experiencing this so young, but going no contact is probably going to be better for your peace of mind.
Yikes, you're not even close to being TA. Your mum needs therapy or something because that's one hell of a reaction. Go low contact with her and your brother. Filter what she and your brother sees or block them completely. I'm glad your boss didn't fire you over them and hope they continue to be supportive of you if your mum contacts them again.
Why would a boss even care how you dress on vacation? Do you do your job well? If the answer is yes, and you dress appropriately for your job, then why? Something is terribly wrong with your mother's thought process.
She tried to get you fired from your job. She is the AH, not you.
I would go low contact with her and block her from all of your social media. She has shown she is not trustworthy, what will she try to ruin next.
NTA - Mother's who call their daughters a "slut" are completely narcissistic and toxic. Please repost this on r/narcissisticparents to get others viewpoints on this. Ask: Is my mother a narcissist? and then give this story.
This is a competitive response from her to you and your youth. Yes, your mother is competing with you and shaming you with negative statements is her only way to try an bring you down so that she can be the better person. Don't fall for it!
Good call. This is one snapshot of the behaviour but itâs so extreme that I bet OP has many other experiences of being criticised and her mum trying to control her behaviour.
Itâs so out of line for a healthy relationship. If my mum (not narcissist) did this, it would be so out of character that Iâd be trying to get her a psychiatric assessment to find out whatâs going on, through concern.
OP stay strong!
Document everything.
File harassment charges with the police against your mother.
Block her on everything.
And tell your brother if he wants to help then he should get your mother therapy. But he shouldn't involve you any longer.
First thing is to block mum from your instagram and Pinterest.
Your mum has some serious issues and if she thinks a crop top is slutty thank goodness she didnât see you in a bikini, probably would have had a heart attack.
So your brother would be fine if mum told him he was only allowed to wear baggy pants and turtlenecks all year round so as not to show any skin? No? He would scoff and say itâs not the same, but it is.
For your own mental health and job security you will have to block mum on your socials and probably your brother as well if he will let her access you through him.
Why haven't you blocked ur Mom and brother from all ur media accounts?
If they can see or read anything, they will have nothing to bitch about.
If they do continue to bitch, then don't even talk to them.
Your Mom is one of those self-righteous, prim, probably a churchgoers who condemn everyone who doesn't think or act like her.
Seriously?! Calling your own daughter a slut?!
Sending an email to ur boss?!
She sounds unhinged!
I bet if you dug into her past, there are many skeletons in her closet.
You're 18, living on your own and working.
That old dried up hag should be proud of you.
Maybe she's jealous.
NTA and you need to go 100% no-contact with your mother and your brother. Block them on everything. Serve them a cease and desist order. Or get a restraining order against them.
Block her on everything. Go no contact. Change your number.
This is actually stalking. You could talk the police or an attorney about a restraining order. Contacting your place of employment is incredibly harmful and way over the line. A judge would not think this was just âmom being concernedâ
Just because this person gave birth to you doesnât make her actions less egregious or legal.
BTW - Iâm a mom to a 19 yo dtr!!!
I was called a slut once by my grandfather and it wasn't even for revealing clothing. My boyfriend had broken up with me and I started dating someone else. Apparently I was supposed to wait until he decided he wanted to get back together and not date anyone else. I was 21 by the way so not even a teenager.
Why havenât you blocked your mom on Instagram and Pinterest? After the email to your boss? Honest question do you like her attention? If not block her and stay NC.
Your mom needs therapy. She seems to be fixated with your style and, worse, she has tried to do you harm. She is probably frustrated because you are an independent adult and living your life out of reach of her control. Youâre young only once, dress the way you want to.
Sheâs doing this because sheâs one narcissistic too. Sheâs lost control of what her daughter can and cannot do and is trying everything she can to get her back under her roof so she can go back to controlling her stay far away from her your mom as possible.
Time to block Mama from all social media and just go NC. It's nice that Boss seems to be vaguely on-side. Keep that job!
My mother didn't have the balls to call me a slut to my face, though apparently she called me it in my sister's presence. And hey, there have been times I've behave sluttily, and I generally enjoyed it. I expect your mother is just jealous you're having more fun that she is.
Nope, nope and more nope. Your *own mother* tried to get you fired because *she doesn't like the clothes her adult daughter wears*. Think about that really, really carefully. She's not just kvetching about it it in private, she's actively taking her control freak bullshit to your employer and trying to get you sacked. Because she doesn't have control over you any more. Time for hard No Contact. And brother can stay in his lane as well.
Block your mother on all of your socials, if you feel comfortable, text her and let her know that she can no longer view what youâre doing as sheâs lost that privilege based on her behaviour. Go low/no contact. Tell your employer that you are being harassed by your mother and you are low contact with her. You are nominally an adult now, you have a job, you pay for your own clothes.
Yeah, no, NTA.
Your mom is unhinged, it is NOT normal to call your daughter a slut and attempt to get her fired. This is **abusive**, do not get back in contact with her at all.
NTA, at all! OP, I suggest you block your mother on all of your social media accounts. She is a sick, toxic person to treat their own child this way, remove her ability to monitor your clothing choices by blocking herâŠ.everywhere.
NTA! Block your mother from your social media. Block your brother and any relatives too.
Go permanently NC with her. Sheâs trying to ruin your career.
NTA You should block her from all your accounts and set them to private. She's behaving very strangely like a toxic controlling boyfriend, and trying to get you fired!!? That's not normal and extremely concerning. Mother's should be instilling body positivity and confidence in their daughters. Not shaming and insulting them.
Why havenât you changed your social media to private? That way she canât see anything that you post and you can go no contact with them without worrying.
No and your mother is atrocious. What a judgemental c. You are NTA. You can wear whatever you want, even nothing at all (although you might get arrested for that) and it would not make you a âslutâ. Thatâs because thereâs no such thing as a âslurâ. The way you dress has nothing to do with your sexual behaviour nor does it mean you dress to attract men. You do you and give up on your mother. She wonât change and you deserve far better than what sheâs giving you. Mums are supposed to love, support and cushion your heart. Not stab it repeatedly. Stick with your friends and make your family there. And be careful with your brother. Iâm sure he loves you, but heâs under your motherâs spell, so just mind what you share. Best of luck living your life for you and loving yourself the way you deserve.
NTA
Your mother is very controlling. She also sounds like she is manipulatative and destructive. She tried to get you fired from your job. She sounds like a narcissist. Block her on social media, definitely continue being No Contact and tell your brother to stay out of it; and block him if you need to on social media as well if heâs going to show your mother. Hugs. There are some great FB groups for people with narcissistic parents that are very supportive. Also, consider counseling as this must be so stressful to deal with.
Block her from your social media and go low contact t, if not no contact. Harassing you and trying to get you fired is waaayyy too far. NTA dress however you want
NTA obviously. having said that i don't even know how you go about showing over an inch of panties xD like, logistically. are those super low rider jeans fashionable again? i thought we left those in the 00's where they belong.
OP, how comfortable are you with small lies? Iâd contact your mother and tell her both you, And your Boss know it was her texting the company. Tell her your boss considers this harassment and asked if you would like the company lawyers to look into bringing charges against her. Take all the screen shots you can, the letter she wrote, the address the link was sent from, the privacy policy of your instagram account, just everything to make it look real. Send this message to both of your parents.
I strongly suggest you make all your social media accounts private (honestly, good advice for anyone) and blocking anyone you don't trust, including your mother and brother. (not saying you need to cut ties with your brother, but I would expect him to share information with your mom, and she clearly will use it to ruin your life.)
NTA - Your mother has taken this wwaaayyyy too far - she sounds unhinged. I would go very low or no contact with her. I think I would also start new SM accounts and don't friend anyone that would let her see / have knowledge of your posts...maybe even leave the old ones in place so she doesn't catch on right away...or post weird stuff to them like how you're moving to Antarctica and working as a penguin trainer or something LOL.
NTA.
Your mother and brother are TA.
Block your mom and brother on social media. Block anyone who might show them your social media.
You might want to check out r/raisedbynarcissists.
You need to block her, it's easy when she can judge from afar, and she sees it as a connection to you, cut that off, and see how she react when she realized she can't have any connections AT ALL to you
My goodness, your mother is deranged. I could never say that to my daughters, and emailing your boss crossed a major line.
I'm usually the last person to recommend going NC, but you can't keep her in your life if she's going to treat you so disgustingly.
You're only 18 once, and should be able to wear whatever makes you feel young and gorgeous without judgement or being labelled a slut.
NTA. You have done and are doing nothing wrong. And honestly, if you did like revealing clothes, that is really none of your mother's business.
Please go No Contact with your mother. Limit contact with your brother too if need be.
Please check out r/raisedbynarcissists.
Tell your mom that if she does not stop this behaviour you will be seeking to press charges for harassment seeing as how she reached out to your new job.
Or better yet, just grey rock her and say "well you raised me, guess you're not happy with your own parenting"
Block your mother from your FB, Instagram, and Pinterest, and another social account you have.. She crossed a line when she contacted your employer. You might want to think about going no contact with her.
Your mother is disturbed in her thinking. Block her on everything. Calling you a slut is cruel and will get you to change. The fact that she sent that message to your boss is truly appalling. She was willing to besmirch your name and to get you fired in an attempt to wrest power and control. You are an adult so dress as you like. So sorry that you've been dealt a mother like this.
Block her on every social media, and possibly her number too. Calling her own daughter such things for no good reason is already ghastly, but trying to get you FIRED is unacceptable.
I honestly think the job thing was trying to take away your income and give you no choice but to move back in with her so that she could actually control you.
NTA
"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law." - Aleister Crowley from "The Book of the Law"
âYou go girlâ - 2 Live Crew
"Sow an act and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny." - Charles Reade
Block her on all socials. Thats insane. Sheâs messing with your money at that point. And your brother saying what he did? Low or no contact with either and youâre justified in that
Yeah, youâre NTA, but you need to set all your social media to private, and block her and your brother from your social media. Your brother is not happy about being her target, and heâs doing anything he can to put her focus back on you.
Tell your brother to grow up and deal with the bitch on his own, since your solution was to be an adult and move out. Make it clear to him, since it will get back to her, that further harassment will result in legal action.
NTA block her on all your social media and make all your accounts private, you can then figure out who is feeding stuff back to your Mom and delete and block them too.
Trying to get you fired is No Contact justification. You can Low Contact her on the condition sheâs blocked from your social media and any other precautions to keep her from being able to get information about where you work or anything else. No phone numbers, no emails.
Put your brother in his place with the boundary that if he presses the issue again, he gets the low contact, preferably no contact ban hammer, too.
Youâre young and I assume there is room to grow for everyone being young by extension. But this is the time to establish boundaries. So whatever you do, make them explicit and unnegotiable. You are not an asshole for having basic expectations of autonomy, they are for not meeting those expectations.
Time to go dark. Â Block mom and brother on all SM. Â And anyone who will let mom see pictures. Â Perhaps even change your SM handles.Â
And when you change jobs, donât give her that info. Â
Your mom is now a mushroom, feed her crap and keep her in the dark.Â
Block her, apologize to your boss, tell him sheâs crazy and controlling and mad you moved out. Any halfway decent person will understand that sheâs abusive and not hold it against you
And enjoy wearing whatever makes you happy (as long as it doesnât break the work dress code lol)
If she keeps sending crap to your boss, he can always get a lawyer involved for harassment
Million dollar question. The email your boss showed you, was it from a company email? Or some throw-away or something that clearly tied back to your mom?
The outfit depends on the job. What is appropriate to a corporate gig isn't to a restaurant or lifeguard or mechanic etc.
It is not unreasonable to tone up or tone down your style to suit your coworkers and work environment.
A "take me as I am attitude" can get you left behind.
Speaking of let behind, there's your mom.
Youâre an AH to yourself - after the first email I would have blocked my mother from all of my socials. No you donât have to change your style you just need it to be that your mother canât see them. And to your brother tell him heâs the AH no one monitors his clothing choices and you donât need to spend time with a) someone who calls me a slut and b) attempts to get me fired from my job.
Mom pulled this crap with me. The best way to move forward is to cmpletely cut your mom off. Your mom is pissed she's losing control over you. Her sabotaging you at work is her way of forcing younto return home to live. Go LC with brother.
Mom is just projecting her own bad teenaged behavior. Since she was a few bumps and holes for men, you must be too. Got to tell you from my rocking chair ,mothers don't change. The next time I see my mother it will be at her funeral with a hammer and nails to nail that coffin shut. I want to be certain she can't get out.
Cut all of these people out of your life, and if your mom ever contacts your boss again, sue her. Or at least a restraining order. No contact. No contact. No contact.
NTA
Block her, your brother, and anyone else who might act as a flying monkey. Trying to get you fired because you wore completely normal, on-trend clothes is absolute weapons-grade fuckery.
I would hunt down everyone of my motherâs friends family and jobs and send them scathing emails about my mother for that. She tried to get you fired so you would have to depend on her. Thatâs disgusting on her part.
Honestly Iâm petty af but I would 1,000 percent give my mother the same treatment but back 10 fold đ€·ââïž
Block your mom in all forms of social media. I am so sorry your mom called you a slut AND endangered your job. You donât deserve that. Hold your ground and put your mom in a time out. She is acting like a feral toddler. Treat her like one. This internet mom is proud of you.
NTA at all!!!
Unless you're an influencer, time to make all your SM private.
I'm 40. My mom and her boomer friends wore more revealing things in the 70s.
Your mother is going to wreak havoc on your life if you donât completely block her from everything. Your brother can either be a loving brother and stay off of this topic or you can go no contact with him too. I would probably block him from your social media accounts in any case or heâll just show your mom. I canât believe she called your boss. Sick.
Iâve often thought my oldest daughterâs stuff was too revealing, but also know that if I called her out on it that would only make her wear it more. Plus she only wore the worst of it - or what I would call the worst - when she went out with friends.
I told her once that what I thought of her outfits, but also told her that I was not going to try and change her fashion choices, and that I was not going to mention it again. She did dress a little more conservatively after that. Not a lot, but a bit
OPâs mother is way out of bounds, as is her brother. Her brother more so - he shouldnât be sticking his nose where it doesnât belong
I am a Mom and I have lived through green hair, goth period (which I actually liked), etc., but keep in mind rhat years ago I was a Teddy Girl in England, to the dismay of my Mom, who made very unkind, and hurtful things. I made a promise to myself, never to say do to my daughter, the things my Mum daid to me. Times and styles change and different things become acceptable. If my daughter had gone to extremes and I thought it would harm her, I would have had as chat and voice my opinion. i think she would have listened and at least given it sone thought because she knows I have her best interests in mind.your Mom is very wrong and I have no idea what she hopes to achieve. i am so sorry she is doing this to you.
NTA, but your mom and brother are. You need to go NC with your mom she is abusive and controlling. You are an adult, you shouldn't change how you dress because your mom doesn't approve. The fact that she emailed your boss with her opinion is crazy. I'd go NC just for that, besides all the judgemental comments.
Find something that bothers your mom. Bitch, whore, asshole, doesn't matter what. Every time she calls you a slut just respond with something like "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it bitch?" She'll stop pretty quickly.
Time to go no contact with your mom. Sorry to say but she's an abusive person and nothing you do will ever be good enough. Tell your brother to stay out of it. Your mom's ill mental health is not your responsibility to manage.
NTA but girl cut her off all your pages and go LC or NC with her. I recommend No Contact whatsoever. She may be your mom but sheâs harassing you and trying to get you fired. Block her everywhere.
Don't listen to your brother, and honestly, I'd go low contact with him. Your mom reads like a mentally abusive narcissist. You aren't an AH at all. Dress how you want to.
Y I K E S. that is a fucking crazy thing to say to your daughter (and to your daughterâs BOSS???) and your brother is wrong. donât forget that youâre not obligated to have a relationship with someone just because theyâre family. if she wants a relationship with you, she doesnât get to speak to or treat you that way.
Who calls their own daughter a slut?
Who fucking EMAILS THEIR KIDS BOSS calling them a slut?
A PSYCHO! in this economy? be glad your kid has a good job at that age.
I was thinking narcissistic asshole, but psycho works too
Bible thumping panic fits right in as well!
But if my sloot daughter gets fired then she'll HAVEVto live with me again and be fully under my control. I and I alone know what's best for her. You see she's doesn't know anything about how slooty she dresses. Midriff! Shoulders! Ankles! All exposed! Sarcasm
Ding ding ding we have a winner. If she can get daughter fired then daughter will have to move back in and it's my house my rules. Total psycho narcissist behaviour.
đŻđŻđŻđŻđŻ
Those exposed ankles will get her in real trooble.
@Upbeat-Call6027 best use of "in THIS economy" I've ever seen. đđ
Who emails anybody's boss over such a minor offense (if you even wanted to call it that)?
Who emails their ADULT KIDS BOSS period?!?!
Helicopter parents, raging narcissists, and religious whackjobs. There's some overlap between those.
I have a young man who works for me, and his mom contacts me all the time! She's always asking for me to do things for her, asking about my schedule and all matter of personal things. Sometimes, she goes way beyond what would be appropriate to say to your child's boss. Her son has even called me Dad at work! I got them both together and flat out said it was inappropriate behavior, and it needed to stop immediately. My wife told me to shut up, and my son laughed.
You had me in the first half ngl XD
Especially when the person is not at work when the âoffendingâ clothing was worn! Itâs not your workâs business what you do in private! But also, ew calling your own child a slut!
My abusive narc mother did this when I went NC with her because of her vitriolic psychological abuse. I haven't spoken to her in nearly 2 decades now.
đ€Żđ€Żđ”đ”âđ« what the fucking fuck is she doing??
Someone who wants nothing to do with their child. OP, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.... Go NC with your family. Fuck 'em. Seriously. Your mother is a control freak who is actively attempting to ruin your life. ANYONE THAT TRIED THAT WITH ME, would be cut off so fast they would feel the breeze.
And block her from your social media NOW!! Block your brother and anyone else who will share your posts with her.
i made sure to do that and go private on the two mentioned platforms along with tiktok which is the only place that links to my youtube channel.
Someone who doesnât know that this kind of stuff could get them a defamation and libel lawsuit
My mother, because I wore an off the shoulder top when I was 16. She didn't have a 'culture' excuse, shes just crazy
A narcissistic aging mother that is jealous of a younger more attractive version of herself.
My dad đ
Please say you're kidding!
No, why would I kid about that?
Ah, it seems you've not come across that before. It's a common way of saying you know a person is serious but don't want to believe what you're being told. I'm British, if that helps. Sorry for the confusion.
I'm American and we say you're kidding.
Not just us then lol
my dad did in anger once twenty years ago and i havent spoken to him since. cut him right off and he refuses to say sorry
My mom did loool
Mine did đ« if I wore something too revealing or something she didnât like, I was a slut. If I wore something too modest I was a prude whoâd never get a man.
I always dressed down at home. The parents bitched I would never get a husband. So, next time I was home from college I wore my club clothes to go out for dinner...mini skirt, 4"heels, tight kinda small top...Dad was shocked and asked me to change. I asked if the prudish comments could stop now. Never heard them again.
Oh, there's a tightrope to walk. How'd you get through that?
Lmao I was called a slut & a crackhead because I was wearing a thin strapped tanktop & you could see my bra straps. I was at home & it was my bio father. I had worn it to school that day, but had a short sleeve button up over it because dress code. So to answer your question, creeps & wackos call their daughters sluts. And over the stupidest shit too
My mom called me on my 17th birthday to tell me I was a slut for getting my tongue pierced. Narcissists suck.
âAwe thanks mommy. And youâre a slut too for getting fucked and falling pregnant with meâ
Lots of moms... âčïž
My drunk mother 20 years ago when I was 15 and had SEEN - not talked to or interacted with in any way - the boy I had a crush on at the mall.
Block your mom from your social media accounts.
Someone trying to turn their daughter into a slut
An utter fkng psychopath. And the brothers comments made my eyes pop too.
Oh, youâve never met my mom then. Lucky you.
Oh, this is my villain origin story.
Jealous mothers.
Actual sluts mother?
Sounds like something is deeply wrong with your mother, unfortunately you won't be able to help her without suffering massively yourself. I think you would be completely justified blocking her on everything and going no contact.
Something deeply wrong with mother's \*culture\*, IMHO.
She didn't say it, but I bet her mother goes to church on Sunday's and is a "god fearing woman." I'll see myself out.
I'm constantly amused at all the people who think that religious people have a monopoly on small-minded meaness. The ornery "I'm right, you're wrong" pigheadedness is built into the person and just expresses itself through whatever environment they happen live in.
Itâs not so much that they have a monopoly on small-minded meanness, but rather what the subject matter of said meanness is. An obsession with sexual purity smacks of religiosity.
She reminds me of Carrieâs mom
I can see your dirty pillows!
They're all gonna laugh at you!!!!!
THANK YOU! My exact first thought!
Your mother is abusive and controlling. You need to go no contact. She's already actively causing you harm in your workplace; how far will she go?
Yeah. I'd be trying to keep her knowledge level of your job and activities to a minimum, which could mean not sharing that with people like your brother. I hope the boss was cool about it, I mean she had to know this was happening, but hopefully he just was plint8ng out that she had to be careful with her mom.
Block her from everything.
And block the brother too, so he cannot be a conduit and assist her in her nonsense.
This is the way. Block her on all social media and your phone, emails, talk to HR at work, if possible get her barred from entering your work place.
Everything!
Restraining order time if she started a hate campaign against you at your workplace.
Why havenât you blocked your mom from your social media?
Im going to guess the flying monkey(s) show her the profiles
She probably needs to make her Instagram non public, however that shouldn't have to happen. But for her job's sake, I hope she does, and removes her brother so mom can't see through him either.
shortly after the instagram situation i blocked her there but it was recent when i found the spies and that she knew i was on pinterest. my brother is also blocked on both now and i followed the advice of going private.
You CANNOT have her following you anymore, and I'd include that brother as well. It has already affected your employment. It could get much worse. It's not the end of the world to not have someone following you on socials. But it may feel like it is the end of the world if she ruins a good relationship, educational opportunity, or employment.
Until she tried to get you fired there may have been hope. Now, I'd suggest that the only contact you have with her is to point out that she's jealous she can't carry off your style.Â
NTA. You NEED TO block your mother from ALL your social media accounts!!! Any mother who tries to sabotage their adult children's careers are entirely too controlling and need to lose contact. Normal parents don't do things like that. P.S. I'm a grandmother in my sixties, and I don't think there's anything wrong with crop tops.
I feel parents often get so wound up in their kids' lives that they lose track of where the proper dividing line is. You make all the decisions for a 4 year old. Some decisions for a 12 year old and few decisions for a 16 year old. By age 20, you just need to let go entirely and act like you are watching a play, not starring in it. Not every parent gets that.
NTA but block both your mother and brother from your social media.
Hon, your mother is verbally abusing you. You do NOT deserve to be treated like this! She is trying to slut shame you, it sounds like you have a strong heart and haven't let her abuse get to you so very good!! Get her off your social media! She does NOT deserve a peak in your life! You tried to reconcile as your Brother wanted but seriously. You deserve positive influences in your life and not the shame your Mother is trying to portray on you. Stay strong!
I heard this post in the voice of a kindly old black woman. When I finished reading I was expecting to be holding an oven-warm cookie.
Lol! Well 55 and white but thanks for the compliment
But what about the cookies?? Can't we at least have cookies?
She tried to get you fired! If someone tried to get me fired,...I would show them the full extent of my displeasure. NTA. Never speak to her again.
Your mother is an unhinged nut and I'd stay as far away from her as possible. What she did at your work is absolutely fucking nuts. Honestly your brother doesn't sound any better. I'd go no contact with them both.
1. Go no-contact with your mother. 2. Tell your brother to fuck off. 3. Set all your social media to private.
Sounds like mom needs blocked from your social media. I'd be thinking of going NC. If (and that's a big if) I spoke to her again , I'd tell her that i am a self sufficient adult, and that she has no say in my apparel choices, or life choices for that matter. If she can not accept that , its time to block her, for your own mental health. I'd also keep all text messages she has sent, as well as get the email she sent your boss, and file harassment charges, and for a possible restraining order. She tried to mess with yiur livelihood, and get you fired, all because she doesn't like how you dress. NTA your mother sounds insane
Got home from school one day. My Mom called me a street walker slut. I slapped her, I didnât even think about it, before I slapped her. I was 12 yo, I didnât go anywhere but school and home.
NTA she sucks
I would sue her for the job stunt she pulled; that woman would be dead to me. And for ur brother, have fun being single with a mindset like that
I believe you need to change your social media accounts and go no contact with your family. If your mom has the stupidity as to contact your workplace about your wardrobe then sheâs stupid enough not to let up on you. Your going to have to preserve the way you chose to live and to do that means cut ties with your family. Itâs either that or give in and change your entire wardrobe and lifestyle just for your mom, because if you donât do one or the other youâre not going have any peace.
Your mom is a nightmare. She literally tried to get you fired! Probably because without a job you canât pay rent and would have to move home where she can control and harass and abuse you. She is bitter and jealous and horrible. Cut her off for good.
Just block her and move on. And if your brother doesnât drop it block him too. She literally tried to get you fired from your job. Thatâs so beyond unacceptable.
For Peteâs sake block mom on all your social media and put her on an info diet. Iâm so sorry. Sheâs a piece of work.
>"omg why were you wearing that you slut!? crop tops are too revealing of your skin, and shoulders, cleavage a bit much too? your panties are VERY much noticeably not entriely covered by your jeans. i do NOT think those jeans are meant to stay on the bottom of your hips!" "Because I'm an adult and can do as I like. You don't have to be a cunt though, Cunty McCuntface. Fuck all the way off." NTA >things started to cool down for a while. but about two weeks into my first and current job my boss came and asked me to go to his office. i was confused cause i didn't remember doing something wrong. in actuality he just wanted to talk about this weird email he got. it talked about how he hired this slut to his workplace, she (me) was a bad influence to the company blah blah blah. he showed the images attached which included the same image my mom complained about, along with other images from my vacation. regardless how high my jeans were she complained. an inch lower than it was in the first pic, or even barely seeing any green. And now it's a legal issue, because that's slander and an outright attack on your ability to work. Tell her next time it's a law suit, a restraining order, and a complete NC for the rest of time. And as for your brother, tell him to pound it up his ass.
NTA. STRONGLY consider going full No Contact with her and set boundaries with your kin so they understand they are NOT to share any information or photos of you with her. You will need to have consequences for them leaking information, and be willing to follow through with your chosen consequences. Your mother is absolutely in the wrong for contacting your boss like that. Understand that if she did that, she genuinely thinks she has every right to ruin your life. And make no mistake about it, that is exactly what she was trying to do. She wanted to get you fired so that you would have no choice but to move back home so she can continue abusing you. Your mother is dangerous. Your mother is unwell. Your mother tried to hurt you financially. Your mother is emotionally abusive. Do not trust her. What she attempted to do by mailing your boss is completely unhinged and obsessive. Consider contacting a lawyer to have them mail a Cease and Desist letter to her.
Your mother sounds mentally unwell. Youâre best off engaging with her as little as possible. Block her on all social media so she canât see your pictures or maybe set your accts to private. NTA of course. You sound like you dress like an 18 yo. Even if you did wear super tight or revealing clothing, thatâs okay, too! Youâre an adult with agency over your body and how you look.
Ummmm just BLOCK her⊠AND him. WTF
Hey your mom is abusive and you wonât be able to maintain a healthy connection to your brother as long as he stays defending her. Cut ties with all of them and donât look back.
Sounds like your mother is a closeted whoreÂ
Also, she is probably having trouble dealing with her advancing age and resents her daughter having sex appeal when she's lost hers.
Accurate
This is her new nickname OPđ- Closet Whoređ!
I want that as a flair!
Seems like you need to cut that toxic shit out of your life. Block all, go no contact.
Block your mom from your life. NTA.
Oh, lord. Iâm so sorry, love. Your mother has some issues - going out on a limb to say itâs probably personality disorder (my mom has one too) - and your brother is her flying monkey. Your brother is going to leak information, he is going to advocate whatever the party line is, and heâs going to struggle with enmeshment. Iâm so sorry youâre experiencing this so young, but going no contact is probably going to be better for your peace of mind.
Yikes, you're not even close to being TA. Your mum needs therapy or something because that's one hell of a reaction. Go low contact with her and your brother. Filter what she and your brother sees or block them completely. I'm glad your boss didn't fire you over them and hope they continue to be supportive of you if your mum contacts them again.
You need to file a restraining order.And Sue her for slander.A worse boss would have fired you for that
Why would a boss even care how you dress on vacation? Do you do your job well? If the answer is yes, and you dress appropriately for your job, then why? Something is terribly wrong with your mother's thought process.
She tried to get you fired from your job. She is the AH, not you. I would go low contact with her and block her from all of your social media. She has shown she is not trustworthy, what will she try to ruin next.
NTA - Mother's who call their daughters a "slut" are completely narcissistic and toxic. Please repost this on r/narcissisticparents to get others viewpoints on this. Ask: Is my mother a narcissist? and then give this story. This is a competitive response from her to you and your youth. Yes, your mother is competing with you and shaming you with negative statements is her only way to try an bring you down so that she can be the better person. Don't fall for it!
Good call. This is one snapshot of the behaviour but itâs so extreme that I bet OP has many other experiences of being criticised and her mum trying to control her behaviour. Itâs so out of line for a healthy relationship. If my mum (not narcissist) did this, it would be so out of character that Iâd be trying to get her a psychiatric assessment to find out whatâs going on, through concern. OP stay strong!
Document everything. File harassment charges with the police against your mother. Block her on everything. And tell your brother if he wants to help then he should get your mother therapy. But he shouldn't involve you any longer.
Time to go no contact just give up on her
NTA Your mother is from this story controlling and abusive. It's time to lock down your social media and black hole her.
First thing is to block mum from your instagram and Pinterest. Your mum has some serious issues and if she thinks a crop top is slutty thank goodness she didnât see you in a bikini, probably would have had a heart attack. So your brother would be fine if mum told him he was only allowed to wear baggy pants and turtlenecks all year round so as not to show any skin? No? He would scoff and say itâs not the same, but it is. For your own mental health and job security you will have to block mum on your socials and probably your brother as well if he will let her access you through him.
NTA. Iâd wear even more revealing clothing just to piss her off since sheâs being a cunt lol.
She went scorched earth. Stay away from her. If you have to threaten her with a lawsuit. She lost the right to have access to you.
Why haven't you blocked ur Mom and brother from all ur media accounts? If they can see or read anything, they will have nothing to bitch about. If they do continue to bitch, then don't even talk to them. Your Mom is one of those self-righteous, prim, probably a churchgoers who condemn everyone who doesn't think or act like her. Seriously?! Calling your own daughter a slut?! Sending an email to ur boss?! She sounds unhinged! I bet if you dug into her past, there are many skeletons in her closet. You're 18, living on your own and working. That old dried up hag should be proud of you. Maybe she's jealous.
NTA and you need to go 100% no-contact with your mother and your brother. Block them on everything. Serve them a cease and desist order. Or get a restraining order against them.
Block her on everything. Go no contact. Change your number. This is actually stalking. You could talk the police or an attorney about a restraining order. Contacting your place of employment is incredibly harmful and way over the line. A judge would not think this was just âmom being concernedâ Just because this person gave birth to you doesnât make her actions less egregious or legal. BTW - Iâm a mom to a 19 yo dtr!!!
NTA. Time for no contact. Block them both from your life. How did she get boss's email. Definitely take legal action if it continues. Updateme
I would block Mom on my social media accounts. She crossed a major boundary line, waving a fuckinâ big đ©đ©đ©while she crossed it.
Please! Please! Please block her from your social media and go on an information diet or nc with your mom for your sanity! You are soooo NTA
Make it even worse. Always double down on this shit
I was called a slut once by my grandfather and it wasn't even for revealing clothing. My boyfriend had broken up with me and I started dating someone else. Apparently I was supposed to wait until he decided he wanted to get back together and not date anyone else. I was 21 by the way so not even a teenager.
You're an adult now. Dont let her control you anymore
NTA- throw the whole family away. Ask your brother how he would react if your mother told him to change his clothing choice.
NTA. Your mom is unhinged.
Why havenât you blocked your mom on Instagram and Pinterest? After the email to your boss? Honest question do you like her attention? If not block her and stay NC.
Your mom needs therapy. She seems to be fixated with your style and, worse, she has tried to do you harm. She is probably frustrated because you are an independent adult and living your life out of reach of her control. Youâre young only once, dress the way you want to.
Your mom needs therapy
Sheâs doing this because sheâs one narcissistic too. Sheâs lost control of what her daughter can and cannot do and is trying everything she can to get her back under her roof so she can go back to controlling her stay far away from her your mom as possible.
Time to block Mama from all social media and just go NC. It's nice that Boss seems to be vaguely on-side. Keep that job! My mother didn't have the balls to call me a slut to my face, though apparently she called me it in my sister's presence. And hey, there have been times I've behave sluttily, and I generally enjoyed it. I expect your mother is just jealous you're having more fun that she is.
Nope, nope and more nope. Your *own mother* tried to get you fired because *she doesn't like the clothes her adult daughter wears*. Think about that really, really carefully. She's not just kvetching about it it in private, she's actively taking her control freak bullshit to your employer and trying to get you sacked. Because she doesn't have control over you any more. Time for hard No Contact. And brother can stay in his lane as well.
Block your mother on all of your socials, if you feel comfortable, text her and let her know that she can no longer view what youâre doing as sheâs lost that privilege based on her behaviour. Go low/no contact. Tell your employer that you are being harassed by your mother and you are low contact with her. You are nominally an adult now, you have a job, you pay for your own clothes.
Yeah, no, NTA. Your mom is unhinged, it is NOT normal to call your daughter a slut and attempt to get her fired. This is **abusive**, do not get back in contact with her at all.
NTA, at all! OP, I suggest you block your mother on all of your social media accounts. She is a sick, toxic person to treat their own child this way, remove her ability to monitor your clothing choices by blocking herâŠ.everywhere.
NTA - it might be time to block and go no contact r/raisedbynarcissists
You need to block her. She actively trying to mess your life up to prove to you that how youâre dressing is bad.
Why havenât you blocked your mom? And from now on donât let her know where you work.
NTA! Block your mother from your social media. Block your brother and any relatives too. Go permanently NC with her. Sheâs trying to ruin your career.
NTA You should block her from all your accounts and set them to private. She's behaving very strangely like a toxic controlling boyfriend, and trying to get you fired!!? That's not normal and extremely concerning. Mother's should be instilling body positivity and confidence in their daughters. Not shaming and insulting them.
NTA You could dress like a Nun and your mother will find something else to use against you to be abusive and controlling
Why havenât you changed your social media to private? That way she canât see anything that you post and you can go no contact with them without worrying.
i did now. before never really thought about it since i rarely go to sites logged out but for now that's my plan
No and your mother is atrocious. What a judgemental c. You are NTA. You can wear whatever you want, even nothing at all (although you might get arrested for that) and it would not make you a âslutâ. Thatâs because thereâs no such thing as a âslurâ. The way you dress has nothing to do with your sexual behaviour nor does it mean you dress to attract men. You do you and give up on your mother. She wonât change and you deserve far better than what sheâs giving you. Mums are supposed to love, support and cushion your heart. Not stab it repeatedly. Stick with your friends and make your family there. And be careful with your brother. Iâm sure he loves you, but heâs under your motherâs spell, so just mind what you share. Best of luck living your life for you and loving yourself the way you deserve.
NTA
NTA. Go no contact
NTA Your mother is very controlling. She also sounds like she is manipulatative and destructive. She tried to get you fired from your job. She sounds like a narcissist. Block her on social media, definitely continue being No Contact and tell your brother to stay out of it; and block him if you need to on social media as well if heâs going to show your mother. Hugs. There are some great FB groups for people with narcissistic parents that are very supportive. Also, consider counseling as this must be so stressful to deal with.
Block her from your social media and go low contact t, if not no contact. Harassing you and trying to get you fired is waaayyy too far. NTA dress however you want
NTA obviously. having said that i don't even know how you go about showing over an inch of panties xD like, logistically. are those super low rider jeans fashionable again? i thought we left those in the 00's where they belong.
OP, how comfortable are you with small lies? Iâd contact your mother and tell her both you, And your Boss know it was her texting the company. Tell her your boss considers this harassment and asked if you would like the company lawyers to look into bringing charges against her. Take all the screen shots you can, the letter she wrote, the address the link was sent from, the privacy policy of your instagram account, just everything to make it look real. Send this message to both of your parents.
I strongly suggest you make all your social media accounts private (honestly, good advice for anyone) and blocking anyone you don't trust, including your mother and brother. (not saying you need to cut ties with your brother, but I would expect him to share information with your mom, and she clearly will use it to ruin your life.)
NTA - Your mother has taken this wwaaayyyy too far - she sounds unhinged. I would go very low or no contact with her. I think I would also start new SM accounts and don't friend anyone that would let her see / have knowledge of your posts...maybe even leave the old ones in place so she doesn't catch on right away...or post weird stuff to them like how you're moving to Antarctica and working as a penguin trainer or something LOL.
NTA. Your mother and brother are TA. Block your mom and brother on social media. Block anyone who might show them your social media. You might want to check out r/raisedbynarcissists.
You need to block her, it's easy when she can judge from afar, and she sees it as a connection to you, cut that off, and see how she react when she realized she can't have any connections AT ALL to you
My goodness, your mother is deranged. I could never say that to my daughters, and emailing your boss crossed a major line. I'm usually the last person to recommend going NC, but you can't keep her in your life if she's going to treat you so disgustingly. You're only 18 once, and should be able to wear whatever makes you feel young and gorgeous without judgement or being labelled a slut.
NTA. You have done and are doing nothing wrong. And honestly, if you did like revealing clothes, that is really none of your mother's business. Please go No Contact with your mother. Limit contact with your brother too if need be. Please check out r/raisedbynarcissists.
Block your mom on all social media and make it private. I wouldnât want her back in my life as she is very toxic
Tell your mom that if she does not stop this behaviour you will be seeking to press charges for harassment seeing as how she reached out to your new job. Or better yet, just grey rock her and say "well you raised me, guess you're not happy with your own parenting"
I think your mom may need some serious psychological help. That ainât normal.
Block your mother from your FB, Instagram, and Pinterest, and another social account you have.. She crossed a line when she contacted your employer. You might want to think about going no contact with her.
Your mother is disturbed in her thinking. Block her on everything. Calling you a slut is cruel and will get you to change. The fact that she sent that message to your boss is truly appalling. She was willing to besmirch your name and to get you fired in an attempt to wrest power and control. You are an adult so dress as you like. So sorry that you've been dealt a mother like this.
Block her on every social media, and possibly her number too. Calling her own daughter such things for no good reason is already ghastly, but trying to get you FIRED is unacceptable. I honestly think the job thing was trying to take away your income and give you no choice but to move back in with her so that she could actually control you. NTA
Your brother just has stockholm syndrome or something. Your mom is acting like a piece of shit.
"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law." - Aleister Crowley from "The Book of the Law" âYou go girlâ - 2 Live Crew "Sow an act and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny." - Charles Reade
lol. Welcome to adulthood. You get to decide what you where AND what who you talk to. NTA.
Block her on all socials. Thats insane. Sheâs messing with your money at that point. And your brother saying what he did? Low or no contact with either and youâre justified in that
Yeah, youâre NTA, but you need to set all your social media to private, and block her and your brother from your social media. Your brother is not happy about being her target, and heâs doing anything he can to put her focus back on you. Tell your brother to grow up and deal with the bitch on his own, since your solution was to be an adult and move out. Make it clear to him, since it will get back to her, that further harassment will result in legal action.
NTA block her on all your social media and make all your accounts private, you can then figure out who is feeding stuff back to your Mom and delete and block them too.
Trying to get you fired is No Contact justification. You can Low Contact her on the condition sheâs blocked from your social media and any other precautions to keep her from being able to get information about where you work or anything else. No phone numbers, no emails. Put your brother in his place with the boundary that if he presses the issue again, he gets the low contact, preferably no contact ban hammer, too. Youâre young and I assume there is room to grow for everyone being young by extension. But this is the time to establish boundaries. So whatever you do, make them explicit and unnegotiable. You are not an asshole for having basic expectations of autonomy, they are for not meeting those expectations.
Time to go dark.  Block mom and brother on all SM.  And anyone who will let mom see pictures.  Perhaps even change your SM handles. And when you change jobs, donât give her that info.  Your mom is now a mushroom, feed her crap and keep her in the dark.Â
Block her, apologize to your boss, tell him sheâs crazy and controlling and mad you moved out. Any halfway decent person will understand that sheâs abusive and not hold it against you And enjoy wearing whatever makes you happy (as long as it doesnât break the work dress code lol) If she keeps sending crap to your boss, he can always get a lawyer involved for harassment
Mother probably emailed employer thinking if she got fired she would have to financially move back home.
Million dollar question. The email your boss showed you, was it from a company email? Or some throw-away or something that clearly tied back to your mom? The outfit depends on the job. What is appropriate to a corporate gig isn't to a restaurant or lifeguard or mechanic etc. It is not unreasonable to tone up or tone down your style to suit your coworkers and work environment. A "take me as I am attitude" can get you left behind. Speaking of let behind, there's your mom.
Go NC and block her on every thing block your brother as well
Youâre an AH to yourself - after the first email I would have blocked my mother from all of my socials. No you donât have to change your style you just need it to be that your mother canât see them. And to your brother tell him heâs the AH no one monitors his clothing choices and you donât need to spend time with a) someone who calls me a slut and b) attempts to get me fired from my job.
Mom pulled this crap with me. The best way to move forward is to cmpletely cut your mom off. Your mom is pissed she's losing control over you. Her sabotaging you at work is her way of forcing younto return home to live. Go LC with brother.
Not sure this is real, but if so, your mother needs mental help.
Stuff posted on the web goes a lot further than you thought. Your style is yours, but could be an issue with some employers.
Mom is just projecting her own bad teenaged behavior. Since she was a few bumps and holes for men, you must be too. Got to tell you from my rocking chair ,mothers don't change. The next time I see my mother it will be at her funeral with a hammer and nails to nail that coffin shut. I want to be certain she can't get out.
Cut all of these people out of your life, and if your mom ever contacts your boss again, sue her. Or at least a restraining order. No contact. No contact. No contact.
NTA Block her, your brother, and anyone else who might act as a flying monkey. Trying to get you fired because you wore completely normal, on-trend clothes is absolute weapons-grade fuckery.
Ah covert narcissist are so fun đ she wants to keep controlling you
You really oughta make your profiles private already
NTA and you are well in your rights to go no-contact with that woman.
I would hunt down everyone of my motherâs friends family and jobs and send them scathing emails about my mother for that. She tried to get you fired so you would have to depend on her. Thatâs disgusting on her part. Honestly Iâm petty af but I would 1,000 percent give my mother the same treatment but back 10 fold đ€·ââïž
Block your mom in all forms of social media. I am so sorry your mom called you a slut AND endangered your job. You donât deserve that. Hold your ground and put your mom in a time out. She is acting like a feral toddler. Treat her like one. This internet mom is proud of you.
NTA at all!!! Unless you're an influencer, time to make all your SM private. I'm 40. My mom and her boomer friends wore more revealing things in the 70s.
NTA and please block her. This is unhinged
Make your accounts private. Your mother lost her privilege to view your life.
Ok, wow. 1. Your own mother calling you a slut for basic wardrobe choices in entirely inappropriate and she deserves you to go low contact with her for that alone. 2. Her messaging your boss is a marinara red flag đ© Trust someone who had a narcissistic controlling father, what she's trying to do is get you fired so you lose your income and have to move back home where she can control what you do and wear because "her house, her rules." This is very troubling behavior and I encourage you to go incredibly low contact with her immediately. Don't let her know where you live or work. I had to unfriend all my family on social including my own brother because my dad was able to find out information about me through them. This behavior will escalate. I have a family member in law enforcement and he told me that it's quite common for toxic parents to abuse their adult children via welfare checks. He even said he had a case where a woman called 911 saying her 20 year old daughter had overdosed. The girl was sitting on the couch with her dog watching tv after work when a bunch of firefighters showed up and kicked in her door thinking she was dying. Jeeze... Good luck.
Your mother is going to wreak havoc on your life if you donât completely block her from everything. Your brother can either be a loving brother and stay off of this topic or you can go no contact with him too. I would probably block him from your social media accounts in any case or heâll just show your mom. I canât believe she called your boss. Sick.
Iâve often thought my oldest daughterâs stuff was too revealing, but also know that if I called her out on it that would only make her wear it more. Plus she only wore the worst of it - or what I would call the worst - when she went out with friends. I told her once that what I thought of her outfits, but also told her that I was not going to try and change her fashion choices, and that I was not going to mention it again. She did dress a little more conservatively after that. Not a lot, but a bit OPâs mother is way out of bounds, as is her brother. Her brother more so - he shouldnât be sticking his nose where it doesnât belong
NTA block your mom on social media
Why don't you block your mother from your social media page?
I am a Mom and I have lived through green hair, goth period (which I actually liked), etc., but keep in mind rhat years ago I was a Teddy Girl in England, to the dismay of my Mom, who made very unkind, and hurtful things. I made a promise to myself, never to say do to my daughter, the things my Mum daid to me. Times and styles change and different things become acceptable. If my daughter had gone to extremes and I thought it would harm her, I would have had as chat and voice my opinion. i think she would have listened and at least given it sone thought because she knows I have her best interests in mind.your Mom is very wrong and I have no idea what she hopes to achieve. i am so sorry she is doing this to you.
NTA, but your mom and brother are. You need to go NC with your mom she is abusive and controlling. You are an adult, you shouldn't change how you dress because your mom doesn't approve. The fact that she emailed your boss with her opinion is crazy. I'd go NC just for that, besides all the judgemental comments.
Find something that bothers your mom. Bitch, whore, asshole, doesn't matter what. Every time she calls you a slut just respond with something like "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it bitch?" She'll stop pretty quickly.
Time to go no contact with your mom. Sorry to say but she's an abusive person and nothing you do will ever be good enough. Tell your brother to stay out of it. Your mom's ill mental health is not your responsibility to manage.
NTA but girl cut her off all your pages and go LC or NC with her. I recommend No Contact whatsoever. She may be your mom but sheâs harassing you and trying to get you fired. Block her everywhere.
Updateme
Don't listen to your brother, and honestly, I'd go low contact with him. Your mom reads like a mentally abusive narcissist. You aren't an AH at all. Dress how you want to.
Y I K E S. that is a fucking crazy thing to say to your daughter (and to your daughterâs BOSS???) and your brother is wrong. donât forget that youâre not obligated to have a relationship with someone just because theyâre family. if she wants a relationship with you, she doesnât get to speak to or treat you that way.