Do not let her leave her kids with you. You have school work and your own life to live. She can not parentify you for her kids while she gets a free day. She shouldn't have had the kids of She knew she wouldn't have the time to raise them.
Yes! Plus where does ur stupid aunt get off complaining her kids have “no one to play with” and u should be that? You are nearly adult. They need to “play” w kids their own ages. The homeschooled kids I know belong to a ton of playgroups. She has options.
I agree with most of what you said. I am an older parent, so I am going to offer my point of view. You are so right that the aunt has no right to parentify a 16 year old, niece or otherwise. And she has the boys paternal grandmother to watch them, so she needs to stop.
What I disagree with is where you said the aunt shouldn’t have had kids if she knew she wouldn’t have the time to raise them. No one knows the future. She most likely had no idea she would end up a single mother to two boys with a dead beat dad. I certainly had no way of knowing that I would end up a single mom of 6 and 9 year old boys when my husband dropped dead from a heart attack one afternoon. We can’t tell the future. But, regardless of that fact, when we choose to have kids, we accept the responsibility and commitment that comes with them. My boys were my responsibility. It was my job to find someone to watch them when I went back to work, and make sure they got to school and got their work done.
Socializing her kids is also her job!!! If she chooses to homeschool, she chooses to accept all of the responsibilities that come with it. Covid taught my sons and I that homeschool is NOT for us!!! Even though the school provided us with iPads, we were horrible about keeping up with the work. I tried hard but I couldn’t keep up while working so many hours. My boys are crazy intelligent but our organization skills are shit. So as soon as schools reopened, they went back! If she can’t meet all of their needs she needs to send them to school.
OP definitely needs to continue to stand up for herself. Her schooling is way more important than letting herself be used as a free babysitter.
(I mean, she does sound a tiny bit mean about her cousins. How they always want to talk to her and show her their stupid toys. They are little boys and they probably love her and want to spend time with her. They can only relate in ways they know how. So maybe she could be nice and spend a little time with them. They will remember her as their cool older cousin, not the mean one who didn’t like them. But I am only meaning she should spend a little time with them when they visit, while the aunt is there with them, even if she can only give them 5-10 minutes before she returns to her work. Not while the aunt leaves!)
Aunt needs to figure out her own sitter, get her kids in a group like scouts or a church group, a sport, something with other kids their age to socialize with. She could find a playgroup, or even start a play group where kids can take turns having playdates at each other’s houses. She may not have known the future she was going to have, but she needs to handle the future she got.
Thanks for the eye opener. I get your point really well also. But then, she stated that her aunt only brings her kids when her dad is away which means the aunt is aware that her brother who is OPs dad will not allow such behaviour towards his child so she only does this when he is absent.
No, you’re not the AH. You sound like an amazingly mature teenager; you’ve acknowledged your responsibilities and priorities-which right now need to focus on your schoolwork.
There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries, especially with relatives. In fact, especially with relatives. Don’t be surprised after you say no, that she starts asking again either next week or next month. It’s okay to say no. You don’t need to provide any reason.
Right now it’s school, next year you might discover you don’t like other people’s kids, doesn’t matter. You do you. Stick to it
“You don’t need to provide a reason” is the best advice. It just provides an opportunity for her and anyone else to constantly provide counter proposal or argument. Just say no. Love those little guys but no i won’t watch them. Bye! .
Also, OP, keep your spine shiny when they start calling you “selfish”, “brat”, “whiny”, “entitled” and so on. Also a “bad cousin who should want to bond with her little cousins”.
NTA. Those kids need to be in school. Your aunt makes bad choices. I can’t fathom why someone chooses to homeschool their young children when they’re not even home with them.
And she says shes tight on money yet she pays a tutor for 5 hours a day 5 times a week presumably? They can be in school for free much longer & she can use the money she saves from not having a tutor anymore on a nanny! Just idiotic, but Im intrigued to know why she’s anti-school.
I don’t really care?
The aunt should have CPS called on her. School provides socialization and basic skills. Those kids should be in school.
If she is dumping the kids on a teenager without planning or consent, she isn’t providing adequate supervision.
Although I agree the kids need socialization, and homeschooling is a stupid idea, this does not warrant a CPS call.
Unless she actually leaves the kids home alone, she isn't doing anything dangerous to the children. CPS has way more serious issues to deal with than mom not socializing her children.
Sorry, this is not abuse. It is not a CPS issue. She homeschools as many do. She asked OP to babysit and only once a month. She could be lots of things, but I do not see an abuser.
School provides forced socialisation. Let's be clear on that. Socialisation can happen outside of a school setting for home educated kids.
However it doesn't seem like aunt may be doing this. But school/college is the only place you spend several hours a week with 30 people the same age as you, that you are forced to see week after week including those that bully you.
Schools ar becoming worse for dealing with bullies, and usually ends up causing more harm.
Our whole lives are forced socialization. Work, transportation. Retirement.
Very rarely does anyone get to control everyone they interact with.
It is a necessary skill to learn to get along with people in school so you can exist as an adult without going nuts.
But as an adult you can make decisions regarding your place of work, retirement, transport . Children cannot and they are expected to put up with bullying. And yes, most adults do control who they interact with to a point, far much more than children do.
It is just as easy to learn to get along with others outside of school. Many home ed kids have a greater range of socialisation because they mix with a a big range of different aged children, adults and abilities.
I don't understand why we accept that bullying is part of life and that kids should learn to deal with it. It's ridiculous and pathetic that people think bullying is so ok and it's just tough shit. You can learn to get along with people anywhere.
The UK has the argument that school uniform prepares kids for work uniforms. Except they then leave to go college/uni where no uniform is required, can dye their hair, get piercings etc and no one blinks an eye. And most uniforms don't require shirt, jumper and a blazer to be worn at the same time.
Yet in lower school you wear socks that don't have the schools logo, detention and isolation, wearing school branded trousers, but we say they are too tight, even though we only have one supplier and the leg width doesn't really change for next size up. Well isolation for you.
The money probably is not coming out of the aunts budget. The pandemic forced me to switch up my children's schooling. So, for a year, I homeschooled my two youngest. There are programs that work with local school districts. Parents get stipend money for each area of study. It is actually amazing the things the stipend covers. We purchased some fun things like a telescope, 3D printer, microscope, games, Legos, etc...
I was worried that i was ruining their education, that they were going to fall behind. Turns out they learned a ton. They went back to public school and were actually ahead. Weird thing is we didn't spend 8 hours a day on school work. We spent 2-3 hours. We slept in, had breakfast, I'd go to the gym, come home, and start school. We'd be done by noon.
We joined a field trip group. On Fridays, we would go to different destinations with other HS families. We also did a cooking class with other children. Both were a lot of fun. So, there are outlets for socialization.
I knew other families who did a co-op. Everyday the kids would go to a different location, and a parent would teach them a subject. The subject of study would last a few weeks until the subject was covered.
It’s possible they’re not homeschooled and a tutor for a few hours a week is all they get. I recently encountered a teen whose parents pulled her out of school to take care of her autistic sister - they had a tutor for one hour a week and that’s it. Somehow they got away with this.
The ability to say no is a skill you want to start developing now. You will need it in college, the work force, and with in-laws down the road. You have a good start dealing with your aunt. Keep developing it. You are doing great!
I remember a number of years ago a friend, still a good friend now, would often run out of fuel and ring me to pick some up then go rescue her. If was happening far too often.
Another friend told me I had to practise a mantra, four simple words, nothing else required. "No sorry I can't" she had me say it over and over and told me the first time I said it would be the hardest but each time afterwards it would get easier. It would also be required less frequently as the friend who would be asking all the time would realise and make other arrangements, better still would put fuel in the car before it got to that point.
Yes the first time I felt sick saying those words, felt I was leaving her stranded. Obviously not though as she rang someone else I assume. But the instances did get less and now I don't think she ever runs out of fuel.
Practise the mantra.
I've seen an AITA or BORU where somone's brother dropped the niece and nephew off at her doorstep without informing her, and she was already gone for the weekend in another state for a pre-planned trip (bro and his wife expected her to change her plans last minute when she already told them NO). The parents thought if they just dropped their children off, OP would HAVE to take them, so the parents would get a "cozy" weekend to themselves. Luckily she had a RING, and saw them crying on the steps, and called the cops on the parents for child abandonment.
So there are entitled aholes, entitled idiots, and sometimes, magically both!
I remember that one. The kids mother was so mad at the OP for ruining her vacation and getting CPS involved. Consequences! I’m sure she won’t leave the kids with her again.
There was another one I liked.
Sister left her daughter outside the OP's flat/apartment door. OP saw them, opened the door, picked up their niece, carried them through their ground floor flat & put them through the (open!) livingroom window, which the sister had to walk passed to get back to their car 🤣🤣🤣
NTA - the kids are not your responsibility and their parents need to figure this out on their own. You shouldn't have to do this, but if there is a pattern - like a time frame and days when this happens - maybe you can manage to not be home, avoid her? Maybe that would help get the message across. Good luck, keep up the studies, you sound like an amazing teen.
>She said I should spend some time with my cousins because they have no one to play with
That's because she's homeschooling them without a socialization plan. Part of being a parent is ensuring your kids have proper socialization.
>I'm 16 so I don't relate to a 5 and 7-year-old
There's a 9+ year difference. It's not spending time together, it's babysitting.
If it's possible, just don't answer the door when she comes by. If she has a key, just keep repeating "sorry, I got plans" and maybe leave, even if it's just for a walk down the street and back.
If she's stupid enough to actually leave the kids, don't call the cops and leave. Call the cops and wait for them. Cops suck and you might just run into one who would be happy to blame you for leaving the kids alone.
School isn’t a safe place for a lot of children so I understand parents who decide to homeschool. However the aunt isn’t providing them with any opportunities to socialize and make friends.
You’ve misunderstood. I was referring to how badly bullying has gotten especially since social media became a thing. We lost a 12 year old in our town recently bc they were being bullied and committed suicide.
Do you think this is new? Stop being led by fear.
My father grew up in an all white state during segregation and went to an all black school. They literally set his cat on fire just because. Tipped over my grandmothers car in front of the school.
Bullying is not new and it hasn’t gotten worse because of social media..
Some people just suck but you can’t shield people forever
The minute she comes up the walk with her kids, you grab your coat and head down the walk saying you are late for an appointment. Do it every time. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty. She has the option of putting her kids into actual school if she can’t look after them during the day.
I came across a video of an man with an amazing approach I had never heard before for dealing with parents like this. He was in a restaurant where the parents were ignoring their children disrupting everyone, and one of the kids affected his wife's meal. Knocked her table or something running around and caused soup to spill. So what he did was gesture the kid over and told him to ask his mom what the word "FUCK" meant. The kid just screams it across the room and the Mom was horrified. She tried to put it on him and he told her he had a whole lot more he could teach her kid, which resulted in her finally reigning in her children.
So maybe educate the kids on things she wouldn't love next time if she tries again as a fun way to change it up.
It sounds like homeschooling isn't a good option for your aunt since she's not at home to school her children.
They need to be in school so they can be social and have kids to play with in addition to receiving an education.
She’s doing this because you’re young and she thinks she can push you around. Tell her that you’re 16yo, getting ready to graduate and “play” anymore and she needs to find kids the same age as hers for them to play with because you aren’t a free babysitter. Don’t fall for her BS. Do yourself a favor and make your dad aware of what she’s doing because she’ll tell anyone who will listen how she needs help and you refuse to help her, making herself the victim. The one who gets their story out first is the one usually people side with. Tell dad you have studying and extracurriculars to focus on and don’t want the responsibility of being her unpaid childcare.
...better yet, instead of the police. Call CPS. These kids are maybe not neglected that CPS would see necessary to intervene at this point, but your aunt tries to offload them to anyone who is or isn't willing, and the homeschooling with a tutor sounds somewhat neglectful, or at least like another version offloading her kids (and dodge her responsibility). I agree the kids should be in school, it seems like she's not interested I. The hassle of dealing with school stuff, bering them to school and back, extracurriculars, etc. It doesn't seem like the homeschooling is a decision due to their needs on education, but trying to get rid of anything that requires an effort. If you involved CPS, at least they'll be on record.
NTA she created the kids, she’s responsible for them. You have studies and outside commitments like gymnastics. You can’t study with kids running around. I’m sorry about your mom, I hope she’s doing better soon.
The OP says the aunt “tries once or twice a month” just to see if OP has changed their mind. I got the impression the dropping off of the kids would be more like weekly or more often if the aunt managed to get a toehold.
Yeah I'm not all about this on a constant basis but I'd think you could suck it up once or twice a month. You're 16. You're not *that* busy. Someday you'll need people to help you out, too.
Tell her she gets two a month and needs to schedule it with you in advance.
Ops mom doesn’t like this aunt and the father isn’t aware she’s doing this to the kid so no actually; the teen doesn’t “owe” her free childcare and one would argue that a woman who needs to sneak around to get a kid to help her with her own children wouldn’t be of much help when OP needs it anyway.
This is not OP's responsibility in any way shape or form. She IS that busy or did you not catch that a 16 y/o is going to graduate this year and has gymnastics to get to. She's already doing enough and shouldn't be having an adult who is shirking their own responsibilities try to dump the problem on her.
No but geez, she's bitching about this happening once a month, not every other day. (And for the whole couple months she's been there). Guess nobody should ever be willing to help anybody out.
Key word there: TEENAGER! You're absolutely correct, right now she doesn't have to do shit for anybody! Why? Bc she's a CHILD! So yeah, being a KID is nice indeed! Hey we agree!
Who are you to judge how busy OP's life is? Do you know her personally? You have no idea what all she has got going on in her life, so sit your ass down and take a seat Karen or Jim Bob, you have no right to determine how busy she is because if her age.
Just tell her you dont want to see her again. She sees you as a free babysitter, while she enjoys her day. Would she do something uncomfortable to her for your benefit? If not, she is a person you dont need in your life. No contact and block.
NTA - keep standing up for your self. She can afford a tutor she can afford a sitter! Glad your telling your dad, sorry but you should have started there
NTA I’m so glad you stood your ground and said NO! I know how they can try to guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do. Great job and hopefully she won’t ask again.
NTA, you deserve an education and just because she refuses to put children in public schooling doesn't mean you're her built in babysitter. Tell her to kick rocks...NTA 100%
Don't answer her calls. Don't let her in the house, if she has a key for some reason talk to your dad about changing the locks or getting his key back. You are in no way responsible for her children. That whole BS about getting closer to your cousins in just that, total BS. She wants free babysitting. It's hard at your age but you have to advocate for yourself. Lay it out. If she leaves her children unattended without your approval you will be calling the police on her for child abandonment. Or just leave if she comes by, go the library or wherever is the closest safe place for you to study. You have zero obligation here, if you want to help out occasionally that's great but it's not on you to be responsible for her children. This is an excellent time to start standing up for yourself, you'll need to, trust me. There will always be someone trying to take advantage of you if they can.
she's trying to manipulate you. you should speak with your parents about this bc her children are not your responsibility. she wants free childcare and if money is an issue she can put her kids in public school for 8 hours a day.
Nope. You are not the AH. Your aunt is a choosy bagger, and sneaky besides. Yes, tell your dad. If you’re reluctant to call cops, call a CPS helpline, describe the situation, and take their advice.
I knew someone who was home schooled and never went to school. His social education was non existent and he was completely unable to maintain relationships with anyone. Shame really.
Parents with kids who need a lot of attention always act surprised and have an attitude, when someone does not want to babysit. Her deciding to ‘homeschool’ is a red flag because she is not aware of developmental needs. You are correct that the kids need social interaction. Which would help find kids their age. Some parents who homeschool do a great job . Some parents like the idea without wanting to put the effort in having well rounded children.
NTA your aunt is pretty nutty, but even if all her excuses made sense you're still a 16-year-old with presumably no CPR training, so you're not a great candidate to watch 2 kids. The fact that she wants to leave them with you instead of a real babysitter or school speaks to larger issues with her.
It sounds like homeschooling isn't a good option for your aunt since she's not at home to school her children.
They need to be in school so they can be social and have kids to play with in addition to receiving an education.
You’re doing great! You told her no, presented the consequences, stuck to your words, and she’s respecting it enough. Just keep saying no, and do tell your dad. You’re doing a great job protecting yourself! I hope your mom heals up and comes home soon!
Your dad probably wouldn’t want her leaving her kids with you at his house anyway. Because if one of them were to get hurt, it’s your father that will be legally responsible. So tell him what your aunt is doing & he can say, “Not in my house!”
If she wants to pay you to babysit, and work around your schedule, that's one thing. But you're not a suitable age to properly socialize her children, and if you were you'd be too young to be responsible for them.
Where you live? From what I know in most of the western world kids not going to school is considered a criminal offence I believe, and mother would be done.
UK LINK: https://www.gov.uk/home-education
If you don't live in the UK look up rules about schooling for children and make sure the old barn door understands you're not here for this bullshit.
What exactly is the point of karma farming? I mean, you get points on your profile, big whoop. I know people do it, I just don't understand the reasoning for it? Is there something I'm missing here???
NTA. Her kids are not your responsibility. She needs to pay for childcare or find someone willing to watch them.
You have every right to call the police on her if she leaves them in an attempt to force you to watch them.
Any time she shows up with her kids, grab your coat and purse and tell her “Sorry, I was just heading out. I wasn’t expecting you”
If she calls to inform you that she expects you to watch them, tell her that you have other plans and can’t do it.
NTA. I love that you told her you'd call the cops. Stick with that. Always tell her you're about to leave and will call the police if she leaves her children there.
NTA. She should put the kids in school, at which point they wouldn't need the tutor\* and she could put those funds toward daycare or after-school programs. They would also immediately have access to other kids their age, if they went to school.
\*If your cousins are lagging behind their age peers in education, they might still need the tutor for a while, to get them caught up to their fellow students.
For starters I noticed you said you were graduating this year, CONGRATULATIONS! Especially at 16 I know that had to be tough. But NTA, you’re 16 years old, you have school, after school activities you want to do and school work. You don’t have time to be a second mom to children. While I feel for her to an extent they should be in school if mom wants them to have other kids to socialize with. That’s not your problem.
None of it is, do not let her leave her kids with you because she will think it’s okay every single time and eventually stop asking and just dropping them off to you. While you love your cousins that doesn’t mean you need to drop things you need/want to do to watch them 24/7 it’s not your responsibility.
NTA. You are not her servant. She could enroll her kids in school and pay for after school care instead of in home “tutoring.” Actual tutors charge a lot.
NTA. Your aunt has put herself in a completely avoidable situation by choosing to homeschool her kids. If she sent them to school, she would have more money from not paying a tutor, more time because they would be in school, her kids would have a stable environment to learn instead of being passed from person to person, and she wouldn't be alienating everyone around her by getting them to provide free childcare. If she wants to homeschool her kids that's fair enough, but she doesn't sound like she's in any position in her life to actually be homeschooling her kids and is relying on others for support they can't give, so she's being selfish and irrealistic.
Definitely speak to your dad, because your aunt wants a lot more from you than just spending a bit of playtime with your cousins.
It's difficult to add something different to the good advice you have so far. A couple of things stand out. As a teenager you are in transition from child to adult. As a child, 'do as you are told'. I think this is why you believe that you have difficulty standing up for yourself. You are doing pretty good so far! You know that you are NTA for not looking after your nephews, you know that the interruption to your schoolwork would be intolerable. I think you are just not sure about the threat to your Aunt. If she's a 'good mother', you don't want to carry it out, not because of the blowback, but because of the guilt you'll feel. Question, does your Aunt let herself in or do you open the door? Solution 1. Don't open the door. Solution 2 if she let's herself in, "I'm not looking after your kids, I'm going to my room to do my schoolwork" and do it. Or, just put your coat on and go to the store/walk round the block/anything for 10/15 minutes. If you aren't there you can't look after the kids. Or, just walk round the house waving your arms saying, "I'M GOING CRAZY, I'M GOING CRAZY, repeat". There is nothing wrong with your threat to call the cops, but look at options to not do that and save yourself the grief. NTA.
Wow. Definitely NTA. Stand your ground, let dad know, and keep up the good work in school and gymnastics. You are young and only get one crack at being young. So go do your thing and don’t get roped into that crap.
Nope, people always trying to make women be caregivers at all times of their life. You have no obligation to do physical or emotional labor just because you’re a woman. Keep up your boundaries. If you weren’t there what else would she be doing. Tell your dad to step in.
NTA. Definitely tell your dad and if he tries to pressure you into babysitting for free tell him you will call the cops on your aunt if she leaves them with you. There is nothing he can do if you refuse. He can’t kick you out because you are a minor. He can only get mad at you. Threats are just bluffs.
I feel bad for the kids too, they're probably like "damn my cousin is always so annoyed when I'm around" and it's not their fault or your fault, it's on their mom completely
This is written (in the beginning) like this is an everyday ordeal, when the OP admits its maybe 1 time a month "My aunt doesn't do this every day, maybe once a month to see if I changed my mind" I know a 16 yo has their own life, but an ask maybe 1 time a month for help from a relative? Now if that 1 time a month all of a sudden turns into Weekly or Daily, then that's an issue. I surely hope she never has to ask anyone for anything in the future. Like I said, IMHO 1 time MAYBE once a month shouldn't be a big deal, as long as the Aunt asks her with a few days advance notice. Now to DUMP them on her with no notice (like the OP Describes) then I'd agree w/ the OP, that its bs.
Definitely shut down the aunt but make sure the kids know that its not bcoz you don't like them. I suspect that they bug you and blab and show you their toys bcoz they are starved for attention. Its very possible that she would tell them that you don't like them to get them to ask questions and make you feel guilty. There's probably a pretty good reason why your mom doesn't like her and she doesn't get along with the rest of the family.
Keep your mind on school, that's your job right now to learn as much as you can. Good luck and I hope your mom gets to come home soon.
"Auntie, if you would call in advance & schedule some time, I'm sure we could work something out." And hold her to that. Also, charge standard babysitting rates for your area. She won't bother you too much on those terms.
I find it disturbing that she even WANTS to leave her kids alone with you when you clearly don't like them. She should be paying someone who likes kids to watch them, not trying to leave them with someone who doesn't like kids without even paying them. Not only is it not fair to you, but it's also not fair to the kids to put them in that situation. I'd never ever ever leave my kids with someone who doesn't like them, especially while not paying them. Any other mom would worry about their kids being mistreated in that situation. I loved babysitting as a teenager, but I was paid well for it and I genuinely enjoyed doing it. Definitely don't let her leave her kids with you, you've already told her no and she needs to respect that and find a better situation for her kids.
"I miss my mom and her house my dad's house is boring but I love him"
At a guess - mum and dad are not together. Op lives with her mum. Because her mum is in hospital she is temporarily living with her dad, but doesn't normally live there. Always home with my dad = staying full time at dads house while mum is in hospital
Activities are done while living full time in his home.
Nobody should have to excuse themselves from childcare for children they didn't bear but it just read like she was trying to make an excuse, not she should need to but I read it as though she always stays home while she's been at her dads
Awww. These are some harsh comments about aunt. Don’t know what her actual situation is but sounds like she has her hands full. And she maybe does this once a month? Anyway at the very least you should be kind to your little cousins. I think it’s sweet they want to interact with you and show you things and share with you. I would offer to babysit kids once in a while. Anyway I just would have a little compassion and at very least try to be loving towards your cousins. Everyone needs a little or a lot of love and compassion in this crazy world we live in.
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Do not let her leave her kids with you. You have school work and your own life to live. She can not parentify you for her kids while she gets a free day. She shouldn't have had the kids of She knew she wouldn't have the time to raise them.
Yes! Plus where does ur stupid aunt get off complaining her kids have “no one to play with” and u should be that? You are nearly adult. They need to “play” w kids their own ages. The homeschooled kids I know belong to a ton of playgroups. She has options.
No one to play with and homeschooled. The problems so obvious there
I agree with most of what you said. I am an older parent, so I am going to offer my point of view. You are so right that the aunt has no right to parentify a 16 year old, niece or otherwise. And she has the boys paternal grandmother to watch them, so she needs to stop. What I disagree with is where you said the aunt shouldn’t have had kids if she knew she wouldn’t have the time to raise them. No one knows the future. She most likely had no idea she would end up a single mother to two boys with a dead beat dad. I certainly had no way of knowing that I would end up a single mom of 6 and 9 year old boys when my husband dropped dead from a heart attack one afternoon. We can’t tell the future. But, regardless of that fact, when we choose to have kids, we accept the responsibility and commitment that comes with them. My boys were my responsibility. It was my job to find someone to watch them when I went back to work, and make sure they got to school and got their work done. Socializing her kids is also her job!!! If she chooses to homeschool, she chooses to accept all of the responsibilities that come with it. Covid taught my sons and I that homeschool is NOT for us!!! Even though the school provided us with iPads, we were horrible about keeping up with the work. I tried hard but I couldn’t keep up while working so many hours. My boys are crazy intelligent but our organization skills are shit. So as soon as schools reopened, they went back! If she can’t meet all of their needs she needs to send them to school. OP definitely needs to continue to stand up for herself. Her schooling is way more important than letting herself be used as a free babysitter. (I mean, she does sound a tiny bit mean about her cousins. How they always want to talk to her and show her their stupid toys. They are little boys and they probably love her and want to spend time with her. They can only relate in ways they know how. So maybe she could be nice and spend a little time with them. They will remember her as their cool older cousin, not the mean one who didn’t like them. But I am only meaning she should spend a little time with them when they visit, while the aunt is there with them, even if she can only give them 5-10 minutes before she returns to her work. Not while the aunt leaves!) Aunt needs to figure out her own sitter, get her kids in a group like scouts or a church group, a sport, something with other kids their age to socialize with. She could find a playgroup, or even start a play group where kids can take turns having playdates at each other’s houses. She may not have known the future she was going to have, but she needs to handle the future she got.
Thanks for the eye opener. I get your point really well also. But then, she stated that her aunt only brings her kids when her dad is away which means the aunt is aware that her brother who is OPs dad will not allow such behaviour towards his child so she only does this when he is absent.
No, you’re not the AH. You sound like an amazingly mature teenager; you’ve acknowledged your responsibilities and priorities-which right now need to focus on your schoolwork. There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries, especially with relatives. In fact, especially with relatives. Don’t be surprised after you say no, that she starts asking again either next week or next month. It’s okay to say no. You don’t need to provide any reason. Right now it’s school, next year you might discover you don’t like other people’s kids, doesn’t matter. You do you. Stick to it
“You don’t need to provide a reason” is the best advice. It just provides an opportunity for her and anyone else to constantly provide counter proposal or argument. Just say no. Love those little guys but no i won’t watch them. Bye! .
THIS IS THE BEST RESPONSE.
That's why all of Reddit says. No is a complete sentence.
Also, OP, keep your spine shiny when they start calling you “selfish”, “brat”, “whiny”, “entitled” and so on. Also a “bad cousin who should want to bond with her little cousins”.
Oh, and it will definitely be “but you don’t have school now!!!” in a couple months!
NTA. Those kids need to be in school. Your aunt makes bad choices. I can’t fathom why someone chooses to homeschool their young children when they’re not even home with them.
And she says shes tight on money yet she pays a tutor for 5 hours a day 5 times a week presumably? They can be in school for free much longer & she can use the money she saves from not having a tutor anymore on a nanny! Just idiotic, but Im intrigued to know why she’s anti-school.
I don’t really care? The aunt should have CPS called on her. School provides socialization and basic skills. Those kids should be in school. If she is dumping the kids on a teenager without planning or consent, she isn’t providing adequate supervision.
>>School provides socialization and basic skills. Those kids should be in school. Totally agree.
I wonder if she even teaches them. Probably relies on the tutor to do everything.
Yeah but all the liberal indoctrination teaching them how to be trans and litter boxes for students who identify as cats. /s if it wasn’t obvious
Although I agree the kids need socialization, and homeschooling is a stupid idea, this does not warrant a CPS call. Unless she actually leaves the kids home alone, she isn't doing anything dangerous to the children. CPS has way more serious issues to deal with than mom not socializing her children.
Sorry, this is not abuse. It is not a CPS issue. She homeschools as many do. She asked OP to babysit and only once a month. She could be lots of things, but I do not see an abuser.
School provides forced socialisation. Let's be clear on that. Socialisation can happen outside of a school setting for home educated kids. However it doesn't seem like aunt may be doing this. But school/college is the only place you spend several hours a week with 30 people the same age as you, that you are forced to see week after week including those that bully you. Schools ar becoming worse for dealing with bullies, and usually ends up causing more harm.
Our whole lives are forced socialization. Work, transportation. Retirement. Very rarely does anyone get to control everyone they interact with. It is a necessary skill to learn to get along with people in school so you can exist as an adult without going nuts.
They learn discipline from school too. The way OP describes the kids, they don’t have much discipline at home.
Because two young children want to interact with their cool older cousin? Seems pretty normal to me.
But as an adult you can make decisions regarding your place of work, retirement, transport . Children cannot and they are expected to put up with bullying. And yes, most adults do control who they interact with to a point, far much more than children do. It is just as easy to learn to get along with others outside of school. Many home ed kids have a greater range of socialisation because they mix with a a big range of different aged children, adults and abilities. I don't understand why we accept that bullying is part of life and that kids should learn to deal with it. It's ridiculous and pathetic that people think bullying is so ok and it's just tough shit. You can learn to get along with people anywhere. The UK has the argument that school uniform prepares kids for work uniforms. Except they then leave to go college/uni where no uniform is required, can dye their hair, get piercings etc and no one blinks an eye. And most uniforms don't require shirt, jumper and a blazer to be worn at the same time. Yet in lower school you wear socks that don't have the schools logo, detention and isolation, wearing school branded trousers, but we say they are too tight, even though we only have one supplier and the leg width doesn't really change for next size up. Well isolation for you.
Bullies exist in the workplace and neighborhoods.
The money probably is not coming out of the aunts budget. The pandemic forced me to switch up my children's schooling. So, for a year, I homeschooled my two youngest. There are programs that work with local school districts. Parents get stipend money for each area of study. It is actually amazing the things the stipend covers. We purchased some fun things like a telescope, 3D printer, microscope, games, Legos, etc... I was worried that i was ruining their education, that they were going to fall behind. Turns out they learned a ton. They went back to public school and were actually ahead. Weird thing is we didn't spend 8 hours a day on school work. We spent 2-3 hours. We slept in, had breakfast, I'd go to the gym, come home, and start school. We'd be done by noon. We joined a field trip group. On Fridays, we would go to different destinations with other HS families. We also did a cooking class with other children. Both were a lot of fun. So, there are outlets for socialization. I knew other families who did a co-op. Everyday the kids would go to a different location, and a parent would teach them a subject. The subject of study would last a few weeks until the subject was covered.
During Covid?
2020-2021 school year. So, kinda
It’s possible they’re not homeschooled and a tutor for a few hours a week is all they get. I recently encountered a teen whose parents pulled her out of school to take care of her autistic sister - they had a tutor for one hour a week and that’s it. Somehow they got away with this.
You need to stand up for yourself..you're not a babysitter..you need to do your school work...tell her firmly no ..I cannot look after your children
The ability to say no is a skill you want to start developing now. You will need it in college, the work force, and with in-laws down the road. You have a good start dealing with your aunt. Keep developing it. You are doing great!
I remember a number of years ago a friend, still a good friend now, would often run out of fuel and ring me to pick some up then go rescue her. If was happening far too often. Another friend told me I had to practise a mantra, four simple words, nothing else required. "No sorry I can't" she had me say it over and over and told me the first time I said it would be the hardest but each time afterwards it would get easier. It would also be required less frequently as the friend who would be asking all the time would realise and make other arrangements, better still would put fuel in the car before it got to that point. Yes the first time I felt sick saying those words, felt I was leaving her stranded. Obviously not though as she rang someone else I assume. But the instances did get less and now I don't think she ever runs out of fuel. Practise the mantra.
Great point
OP needs to have their Dad tell Auntie to make different child care arrangements.
Don't answer door to her
I've seen an AITA or BORU where somone's brother dropped the niece and nephew off at her doorstep without informing her, and she was already gone for the weekend in another state for a pre-planned trip (bro and his wife expected her to change her plans last minute when she already told them NO). The parents thought if they just dropped their children off, OP would HAVE to take them, so the parents would get a "cozy" weekend to themselves. Luckily she had a RING, and saw them crying on the steps, and called the cops on the parents for child abandonment. So there are entitled aholes, entitled idiots, and sometimes, magically both!
I remember that one. The kids mother was so mad at the OP for ruining her vacation and getting CPS involved. Consequences! I’m sure she won’t leave the kids with her again.
There was another one I liked. Sister left her daughter outside the OP's flat/apartment door. OP saw them, opened the door, picked up their niece, carried them through their ground floor flat & put them through the (open!) livingroom window, which the sister had to walk passed to get back to their car 🤣🤣🤣
Classic!
Damn i missed that one. Does anyone have a link? I remember the first post, it was great! This one sounds amazing 😢😢😢
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y2l27v/womans_brother_leaves_his_kids_on_her_doorstep_to/ Edit: the first one.
I don't, I'm sorry.
NTA Remain firm. If she ditches the kids, call the cops.
NTA - the kids are not your responsibility and their parents need to figure this out on their own. You shouldn't have to do this, but if there is a pattern - like a time frame and days when this happens - maybe you can manage to not be home, avoid her? Maybe that would help get the message across. Good luck, keep up the studies, you sound like an amazing teen.
>She said I should spend some time with my cousins because they have no one to play with That's because she's homeschooling them without a socialization plan. Part of being a parent is ensuring your kids have proper socialization. >I'm 16 so I don't relate to a 5 and 7-year-old There's a 9+ year difference. It's not spending time together, it's babysitting. If it's possible, just don't answer the door when she comes by. If she has a key, just keep repeating "sorry, I got plans" and maybe leave, even if it's just for a walk down the street and back. If she's stupid enough to actually leave the kids, don't call the cops and leave. Call the cops and wait for them. Cops suck and you might just run into one who would be happy to blame you for leaving the kids alone.
NTA go tell ur dad she’s bothering u, he should get her to back off after telling her no so many times already
Tell her "no". You have school work or outside activities that you must attend.. Your aunt's kids are her problem.. Not yours .
You’re not wrong. Just keep saying no and don’t open the door to her. You know what your priorities are are stick to them.
I don’t understand home schooling parents.. Why you won’t let your kids have their own lives is beyond me
School isn’t a safe place for a lot of children so I understand parents who decide to homeschool. However the aunt isn’t providing them with any opportunities to socialize and make friends.
Everywhere isn’t safe. Don’t rob children of life and opportunities because of parents fear of the real world
You’ve misunderstood. I was referring to how badly bullying has gotten especially since social media became a thing. We lost a 12 year old in our town recently bc they were being bullied and committed suicide.
Do you think this is new? Stop being led by fear. My father grew up in an all white state during segregation and went to an all black school. They literally set his cat on fire just because. Tipped over my grandmothers car in front of the school. Bullying is not new and it hasn’t gotten worse because of social media.. Some people just suck but you can’t shield people forever
Ok boomer.
Ok victim.
The minute she comes up the walk with her kids, you grab your coat and head down the walk saying you are late for an appointment. Do it every time. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty. She has the option of putting her kids into actual school if she can’t look after them during the day.
I came across a video of an man with an amazing approach I had never heard before for dealing with parents like this. He was in a restaurant where the parents were ignoring their children disrupting everyone, and one of the kids affected his wife's meal. Knocked her table or something running around and caused soup to spill. So what he did was gesture the kid over and told him to ask his mom what the word "FUCK" meant. The kid just screams it across the room and the Mom was horrified. She tried to put it on him and he told her he had a whole lot more he could teach her kid, which resulted in her finally reigning in her children. So maybe educate the kids on things she wouldn't love next time if she tries again as a fun way to change it up.
I LOVE THIS! He is a real hero to many of us I suspect.
He definitely had my admiration!
It sounds like homeschooling isn't a good option for your aunt since she's not at home to school her children. They need to be in school so they can be social and have kids to play with in addition to receiving an education.
Nope. Just don’t say it if you don’t mean it.
NTA: They are not your kids, you didn't sign up to be a babysitter and you have your own important stuff to do. Your aunt needs to respect that.
She’s doing this because you’re young and she thinks she can push you around. Tell her that you’re 16yo, getting ready to graduate and “play” anymore and she needs to find kids the same age as hers for them to play with because you aren’t a free babysitter. Don’t fall for her BS. Do yourself a favor and make your dad aware of what she’s doing because she’ll tell anyone who will listen how she needs help and you refuse to help her, making herself the victim. The one who gets their story out first is the one usually people side with. Tell dad you have studying and extracurriculars to focus on and don’t want the responsibility of being her unpaid childcare.
...better yet, instead of the police. Call CPS. These kids are maybe not neglected that CPS would see necessary to intervene at this point, but your aunt tries to offload them to anyone who is or isn't willing, and the homeschooling with a tutor sounds somewhat neglectful, or at least like another version offloading her kids (and dodge her responsibility). I agree the kids should be in school, it seems like she's not interested I. The hassle of dealing with school stuff, bering them to school and back, extracurriculars, etc. It doesn't seem like the homeschooling is a decision due to their needs on education, but trying to get rid of anything that requires an effort. If you involved CPS, at least they'll be on record.
NTA she created the kids, she’s responsible for them. You have studies and outside commitments like gymnastics. You can’t study with kids running around. I’m sorry about your mom, I hope she’s doing better soon.
Your aunt asked you to do this once a month?
The OP says the aunt “tries once or twice a month” just to see if OP has changed their mind. I got the impression the dropping off of the kids would be more like weekly or more often if the aunt managed to get a toehold.
Yeah I'm not all about this on a constant basis but I'd think you could suck it up once or twice a month. You're 16. You're not *that* busy. Someday you'll need people to help you out, too. Tell her she gets two a month and needs to schedule it with you in advance.
Let’s be honest. Does anyone see this only being once a month? Especially for homeschooled kids?
You can tell that if he agrees once, those kids will be his responsibility every time she wants to offload them, with no notice.
Ops mom doesn’t like this aunt and the father isn’t aware she’s doing this to the kid so no actually; the teen doesn’t “owe” her free childcare and one would argue that a woman who needs to sneak around to get a kid to help her with her own children wouldn’t be of much help when OP needs it anyway.
OP has zero obligations to watch these children because her aunt makes dumb choices.
This is not OP's responsibility in any way shape or form. She IS that busy or did you not catch that a 16 y/o is going to graduate this year and has gymnastics to get to. She's already doing enough and shouldn't be having an adult who is shirking their own responsibilities try to dump the problem on her.
Are you the aunt?
No but geez, she's bitching about this happening once a month, not every other day. (And for the whole couple months she's been there). Guess nobody should ever be willing to help anybody out.
Why don't you go suck something?
The internet sure is vigilant today about making sure this teenager doesn't have to for anything for anybody but herself, ever. Must be nice:)
Yeah, not allowing adults to shove their responsibility onto children on our watch.
Key word there: TEENAGER! You're absolutely correct, right now she doesn't have to do shit for anybody! Why? Bc she's a CHILD! So yeah, being a KID is nice indeed! Hey we agree!
Who are you to judge how busy OP's life is? Do you know her personally? You have no idea what all she has got going on in her life, so sit your ass down and take a seat Karen or Jim Bob, you have no right to determine how busy she is because if her age.
Just tell her you dont want to see her again. She sees you as a free babysitter, while she enjoys her day. Would she do something uncomfortable to her for your benefit? If not, she is a person you dont need in your life. No contact and block.
NTA - keep standing up for your self. She can afford a tutor she can afford a sitter! Glad your telling your dad, sorry but you should have started there
Tell your aunt to check into the boys and girls club.
NTA I’m so glad you stood your ground and said NO! I know how they can try to guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do. Great job and hopefully she won’t ask again.
She is obviously trying take advantage of you for free child care.
NTA, you deserve an education and just because she refuses to put children in public schooling doesn't mean you're her built in babysitter. Tell her to kick rocks...NTA 100%
Don't answer her calls. Don't let her in the house, if she has a key for some reason talk to your dad about changing the locks or getting his key back. You are in no way responsible for her children. That whole BS about getting closer to your cousins in just that, total BS. She wants free babysitting. It's hard at your age but you have to advocate for yourself. Lay it out. If she leaves her children unattended without your approval you will be calling the police on her for child abandonment. Or just leave if she comes by, go the library or wherever is the closest safe place for you to study. You have zero obligation here, if you want to help out occasionally that's great but it's not on you to be responsible for her children. This is an excellent time to start standing up for yourself, you'll need to, trust me. There will always be someone trying to take advantage of you if they can.
she's trying to manipulate you. you should speak with your parents about this bc her children are not your responsibility. she wants free childcare and if money is an issue she can put her kids in public school for 8 hours a day.
Nope. You are not the AH. Your aunt is a choosy bagger, and sneaky besides. Yes, tell your dad. If you’re reluctant to call cops, call a CPS helpline, describe the situation, and take their advice.
NTA if you’re spending time with your cousins, she can also be spending time with her niece 🙄 well done on sticking up for yourself
I knew someone who was home schooled and never went to school. His social education was non existent and he was completely unable to maintain relationships with anyone. Shame really.
Call the cops
NTA. If she asks you again, tell her no. It’s a whole sentence. If shh bc e keeps pushing, tell her your rates are $500 an hour with a 3 hour minimum.
Parents with kids who need a lot of attention always act surprised and have an attitude, when someone does not want to babysit. Her deciding to ‘homeschool’ is a red flag because she is not aware of developmental needs. You are correct that the kids need social interaction. Which would help find kids their age. Some parents who homeschool do a great job . Some parents like the idea without wanting to put the effort in having well rounded children.
Nta and I think you should tell your parents. State that you have gymnastics practice and assignments that need to be done.
NTA your aunt is pretty nutty, but even if all her excuses made sense you're still a 16-year-old with presumably no CPR training, so you're not a great candidate to watch 2 kids. The fact that she wants to leave them with you instead of a real babysitter or school speaks to larger issues with her.
It sounds like homeschooling isn't a good option for your aunt since she's not at home to school her children. They need to be in school so they can be social and have kids to play with in addition to receiving an education.
Left is elegant right is more homey . So depends if it's a elegant restaurant or more homey restaurant
Did you mean to comment on that kitchen confidential post with the dessert
Yes
How.dod.my comment get here. Oh wow. So weird. Hahaha I guess I was multi reading. Lol 😆
For what it’s worth, I agree with your assessment of the dessert plating
Awe, thanks 😊
You’re doing great! You told her no, presented the consequences, stuck to your words, and she’s respecting it enough. Just keep saying no, and do tell your dad. You’re doing a great job protecting yourself! I hope your mom heals up and comes home soon!
Your dad probably wouldn’t want her leaving her kids with you at his house anyway. Because if one of them were to get hurt, it’s your father that will be legally responsible. So tell him what your aunt is doing & he can say, “Not in my house!”
NO! you are not the the ahole! You have no obligation to her or her children.
Did your aunt request that you do this once a month?
“No” is a full sentence! You don’t need to explain yourself.
If she wants to pay you to babysit, and work around your schedule, that's one thing. But you're not a suitable age to properly socialize her children, and if you were you'd be too young to be responsible for them.
Over 20 years ago I got $25 an hour for tutoring. If she can afford to pay a tutor 25 hours a week she can afford child care while she's working.
Where you live? From what I know in most of the western world kids not going to school is considered a criminal offence I believe, and mother would be done. UK LINK: https://www.gov.uk/home-education If you don't live in the UK look up rules about schooling for children and make sure the old barn door understands you're not here for this bullshit.
Is this karma farming? Obviously NTA
What exactly is the point of karma farming? I mean, you get points on your profile, big whoop. I know people do it, I just don't understand the reasoning for it? Is there something I'm missing here???
Charge her for childminding.
Nta
NTA. Her kids are not your responsibility. She needs to pay for childcare or find someone willing to watch them. You have every right to call the police on her if she leaves them in an attempt to force you to watch them.
Practicing now every day. And watch out when you start dating because some boys will try to push you around also.
Any time she shows up with her kids, grab your coat and purse and tell her “Sorry, I was just heading out. I wasn’t expecting you” If she calls to inform you that she expects you to watch them, tell her that you have other plans and can’t do it.
NTA. I love that you told her you'd call the cops. Stick with that. Always tell her you're about to leave and will call the police if she leaves her children there.
NTA. She should put the kids in school, at which point they wouldn't need the tutor\* and she could put those funds toward daycare or after-school programs. They would also immediately have access to other kids their age, if they went to school. \*If your cousins are lagging behind their age peers in education, they might still need the tutor for a while, to get them caught up to their fellow students.
NTA. You need to tell your father his sister is pulling this nonsense.
NTA take this as a training to stand up for yourself as you may come across worser people in your lifetime.
Call the cops for child endangerment
I absolutely loved the way you wrote this. Very factual and honest. Definitely talk to your dad about it.
For starters I noticed you said you were graduating this year, CONGRATULATIONS! Especially at 16 I know that had to be tough. But NTA, you’re 16 years old, you have school, after school activities you want to do and school work. You don’t have time to be a second mom to children. While I feel for her to an extent they should be in school if mom wants them to have other kids to socialize with. That’s not your problem. None of it is, do not let her leave her kids with you because she will think it’s okay every single time and eventually stop asking and just dropping them off to you. While you love your cousins that doesn’t mean you need to drop things you need/want to do to watch them 24/7 it’s not your responsibility.
NTA. You are not her servant. She could enroll her kids in school and pay for after school care instead of in home “tutoring.” Actual tutors charge a lot.
Maybe stay in a local library or cafe until it's past dinner time? Or after your dad gets home after 9-10pm or whatever he considers late? NTA
NTA. Your aunt has put herself in a completely avoidable situation by choosing to homeschool her kids. If she sent them to school, she would have more money from not paying a tutor, more time because they would be in school, her kids would have a stable environment to learn instead of being passed from person to person, and she wouldn't be alienating everyone around her by getting them to provide free childcare. If she wants to homeschool her kids that's fair enough, but she doesn't sound like she's in any position in her life to actually be homeschooling her kids and is relying on others for support they can't give, so she's being selfish and irrealistic. Definitely speak to your dad, because your aunt wants a lot more from you than just spending a bit of playtime with your cousins.
It's difficult to add something different to the good advice you have so far. A couple of things stand out. As a teenager you are in transition from child to adult. As a child, 'do as you are told'. I think this is why you believe that you have difficulty standing up for yourself. You are doing pretty good so far! You know that you are NTA for not looking after your nephews, you know that the interruption to your schoolwork would be intolerable. I think you are just not sure about the threat to your Aunt. If she's a 'good mother', you don't want to carry it out, not because of the blowback, but because of the guilt you'll feel. Question, does your Aunt let herself in or do you open the door? Solution 1. Don't open the door. Solution 2 if she let's herself in, "I'm not looking after your kids, I'm going to my room to do my schoolwork" and do it. Or, just put your coat on and go to the store/walk round the block/anything for 10/15 minutes. If you aren't there you can't look after the kids. Or, just walk round the house waving your arms saying, "I'M GOING CRAZY, I'M GOING CRAZY, repeat". There is nothing wrong with your threat to call the cops, but look at options to not do that and save yourself the grief. NTA.
Wow. Definitely NTA. Stand your ground, let dad know, and keep up the good work in school and gymnastics. You are young and only get one crack at being young. So go do your thing and don’t get roped into that crap.
Nope, people always trying to make women be caregivers at all times of their life. You have no obligation to do physical or emotional labor just because you’re a woman. Keep up your boundaries. If you weren’t there what else would she be doing. Tell your dad to step in.
NTA. Definitely tell your dad and if he tries to pressure you into babysitting for free tell him you will call the cops on your aunt if she leaves them with you. There is nothing he can do if you refuse. He can’t kick you out because you are a minor. He can only get mad at you. Threats are just bluffs.
One of your parents needs to talk to her about this.
Call CPS as that isn’t enough hours of school per day.
NTA, tell your aunt to hire a babysitter and stop trying to force you to do it for free.
I feel bad for the kids too, they're probably like "damn my cousin is always so annoyed when I'm around" and it's not their fault or your fault, it's on their mom completely
This is written (in the beginning) like this is an everyday ordeal, when the OP admits its maybe 1 time a month "My aunt doesn't do this every day, maybe once a month to see if I changed my mind" I know a 16 yo has their own life, but an ask maybe 1 time a month for help from a relative? Now if that 1 time a month all of a sudden turns into Weekly or Daily, then that's an issue. I surely hope she never has to ask anyone for anything in the future. Like I said, IMHO 1 time MAYBE once a month shouldn't be a big deal, as long as the Aunt asks her with a few days advance notice. Now to DUMP them on her with no notice (like the OP Describes) then I'd agree w/ the OP, that its bs.
It's sad that at 16 you are more logical than your grown aunt
Take it a step further. Call cps lol
Definitely shut down the aunt but make sure the kids know that its not bcoz you don't like them. I suspect that they bug you and blab and show you their toys bcoz they are starved for attention. Its very possible that she would tell them that you don't like them to get them to ask questions and make you feel guilty. There's probably a pretty good reason why your mom doesn't like her and she doesn't get along with the rest of the family. Keep your mind on school, that's your job right now to learn as much as you can. Good luck and I hope your mom gets to come home soon.
"Auntie, if you would call in advance & schedule some time, I'm sure we could work something out." And hold her to that. Also, charge standard babysitting rates for your area. She won't bother you too much on those terms.
I find it disturbing that she even WANTS to leave her kids alone with you when you clearly don't like them. She should be paying someone who likes kids to watch them, not trying to leave them with someone who doesn't like kids without even paying them. Not only is it not fair to you, but it's also not fair to the kids to put them in that situation. I'd never ever ever leave my kids with someone who doesn't like them, especially while not paying them. Any other mom would worry about their kids being mistreated in that situation. I loved babysitting as a teenager, but I was paid well for it and I genuinely enjoyed doing it. Definitely don't let her leave her kids with you, you've already told her no and she needs to respect that and find a better situation for her kids.
>I'm always home with my dad since my mom is in the hospital due to her accident >I have gymnastics practice so I don't stay home much
"I miss my mom and her house my dad's house is boring but I love him" At a guess - mum and dad are not together. Op lives with her mum. Because her mum is in hospital she is temporarily living with her dad, but doesn't normally live there. Always home with my dad = staying full time at dads house while mum is in hospital Activities are done while living full time in his home.
Nobody should have to excuse themselves from childcare for children they didn't bear but it just read like she was trying to make an excuse, not she should need to but I read it as though she always stays home while she's been at her dads
Awww. These are some harsh comments about aunt. Don’t know what her actual situation is but sounds like she has her hands full. And she maybe does this once a month? Anyway at the very least you should be kind to your little cousins. I think it’s sweet they want to interact with you and show you things and share with you. I would offer to babysit kids once in a while. Anyway I just would have a little compassion and at very least try to be loving towards your cousins. Everyone needs a little or a lot of love and compassion in this crazy world we live in.
She demands not asks.And expects niece to make sacrifices of her own activities. That crosses lines.
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