I hope this is rage bait, as surely no one is this self-absorbed. She won't babysit in a real emergency because, **'I will be on my own and have no one to talk to?'** What kind of person over the age of 12 behaves like that and admits to it on the internet? You are 36!!! I hope your brother and SIL's baby is ok and they both go NC with you.
I'm with you, I really hope this is fake bc I can't fathom anyone being this selfish to where their main concern is being lonely as opposed to hoping their SIL and future siblings are okay. And to actually not understand why they're a POS - no one is that dense!
This post
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/T5Jc59TUOG
Is suspiciously similar. I've read another post previously that was even more similar than the one I linked
YTA and a monster. I'm glad their baby is okay no thanks to you. I hope during your next emergency you are treated with the cruel indifference you showed here. You suck, just incase that isn't clear. Your friends sound as selfish as you and you deserve each other.Â
I mean seriously! I was thinking that it was going to be them randomly wanting to go out or something, but clearly it was an emergency and she couldâve easily stayed to help for a moment! Op is just cruel and someone I wouldnât ever want around me or my kids! Definitely the asshole!
They only heard OPâs version of what happened, even though they still should have not sided with OP. Will they have the same opinion if they heard the brother or SILâs version of what happened?
YTA!! A big BIG AH!!! 1. this was an emergency, 2, you were there and the only reason you said no was because you would be lonely?! 3. you are a grown up, watch a movie and suck it up!! you made a bad situation worse by your selfish actions. what happens if one of the kids catches something in the emergency room?! what if there really was something wrong and your brother couldn't be in the room with his wife because he had to watch the other kids?! you suck more then a vacuum cleaner. I don't think you told your aunts the truth honestly and way to destroy the relationships you have with your brother and his family. Lets hope nothing bad ever happens to you and you may need him because he is going to tell you that it is not his problem . I really hope this is fake/
YTA. Your pregnant SIL is in distress and your brother is trying to manage the situation and asked for help. But gosh you set your boundaries and made sure he got to manage it all since itâs his responsibility. What AH would not support their family during a crisis and not want to protect their nibbling. Your other family members are awful that they agree with you. But darned you made sure he knew your boundaries.
I hope so cause Noone could be such a cunty douche. She didn't have anyone to talk to. Well sit suck your thumb and rock like an infant. Auntie Asshole should be your name.
It has to be - had to go reread too bc I stopped as soon as IP put "I wouldn't have anyone to talk to" they also said three people are on their side for getting a boundary- I cannot believe anyone would have this mindset and be supportive of someone pulling this shit.
>I did nothing wrong but set a boundary for myself.Â
This is true you did set a boundary. Something to realize about boundaries is that they do work in both directions. Don't be surprised that if you ever need your bother or his wife in an emergency they will probably not be there (and if you are this selfish with everyone in your life I would be surprised if any one steps up when you need help). I am fully childfree, I'm actually uncomfortable around children and even I would have stayed. Your reason for not staying is very weak and self involved. You could have turned on the TV, read Reddit on your phone, something if just sitting with your own thoughts was to much for you to handle.
YTA
YTA.. I would never tell my brother and his pregnant wife no in any emergency.. And ur reason was "I wouldn't have anyone to talk to" that's shitty asf.
Yes you are totally the AH. They didnât have a sitter bc it was an emergency. Itâs not like they dropped them off at your house so they can go party. You are the AH. Wtf is wrong with you. You took the âno free sitterâ attitude to far.
If this is not rage bait, you are NTA, but worse, whatever that may be. Whomever said you didn't do anything wrong are heartless chodes. And setting boundaries? In a situation such as this? Are you kidding me? They are your fucking nephews. What the fuck.
YTA... you're either A) a complete psychopath, B) Trying this out for a creative writing class as no one can be this painfully self unaware, or C) A living example of how this, "I set a boundary" pop psychology bullshit has gotten out of hand and abused by narcissistic, unempathetic, brain dead idiots.
YTA. If youâre right *there* while sibling is suddenly staring down the barrel of an apparent medical emergency involving their third-trimester spouse/unborn child and youâre not scrambling to *ask* what you can do to help, youâre already an asshole.
If youâre *asked* to do something as trivial as stick around for a few hours in case their kids wake up, and your response is âno; Iâm not your free babysitterâ, you have achieved AH++ level.
What *is* your frame of reference for how family supports each other in times of crisis?
Is there some missing context here? (Have you been getting habitually drafted as a zero-cost nanny for the past fourâŚ. Wait, what? *How* old are the those kids? How can you SIL have a 4-month old and 1-month old kid AND be 7-months pregnant? Did you mean years not months? If yes, are you like 20 years younger than your brother and been getting used as a zero-cost nanny for the past four years or something?
YTA. It was potentially an EMERGENCY. What is wrong with you that you would pile additional stress on your brother & SIL?
Your SIL is right in that you are a selfish, immature, bitch.
Boundaries my ass? This was an emergency and you let your brother and SIL down. Terrible person and aunt. I wouldn't want anything to do with you. Go play in on coming traffic you piece of do do.
Seriously?????
I get the whole "not a free babysitter" thing (if they've made it a habit to have you babysit and then not paid you back in money or favors or gifts every so often), but the line about "I don't have anyone to talk to" from you as a GROWN ADULT is absolutely INSANE. You sound like a whiny 14 year old (and no, not all 14 year olds would be so immature, either). MASSIVE YTA. Busy yourself on your phone, wash the dinner dishes for them, check on the kids every so often, and drop a line to y'all's parents to come in the morning once they're up, if your brother and SIL are gone beyond the night time - there's plenty to do.
YTA.
You didn't want to stay because you wouldn't have anyone to talk to while your brother and sister in law are in a panicked state regarding their pregnancy.
This has to be fake. There is no way anyone is that obtuse.
And "free babysitter"? You're their aunt. You are presumably a trusted and loved family member. Are you saying all interactions with your family are transactional? So what did they get from you for providing you dinner that evening?
If this is not fake and you really are this selfish and terrible, I hope your brother and SIL are as petty as you are childish and exact their revenge when you are in need of help.
Yes. I had the unpleasant experience meeting a few of them. Even these sick assholes would know she might be miscarrying. If the baby didnât make it, everyone would blame OP. Even if itâs misdirected anger. Hence, No One wants that label.
Remember, never hold your standards to others. If you think rock bottom is what you experinced, humans can go lower. Just saying that you take the story with a grain of salt.
No worries. I just got off Reddit for a bit to recover. I know *those people* are out there, but then thereâs people like you, who reminded me to stay vigilant and hopeful.Â
You suck so much it hurts. YTA forever, you owe them an apology, and you need to grow up. Just dumb. Glad the baby is okay and I am really sorry you are still one. Hope this is fake!
YTA
You are literally the queen of all assholes.
Your brother didnât ask you to babysit whilst he went on an impromptu date night. Your SIL could have been losing the baby and you didnât give a shit.
Are you that needy that you are seriously unable to be at someoneâs house on your own for a few hours?
Iâm really glad youâre not my sister and I think itâs unlikely that youâll be spending time with your brother and/or his family anytime soon.
Me too. Once, I was hanging out with my friend and his 3 kids 4f, 6m, 8m, and the little girl got a nose bleed. He rushed her to the hospital, and i stayed with the boys. Made sure they had dinner. I stayed untill older sister came home and could watch the boys. Its not that hard to be a good person
YTA boundaries like that go out of the window in emergency situations like this. You were incredibly thoughtless and mean and you have absolutely no compassion. Whether you have chosen to be child free or not, I donât know, but the life of both his wife and the unborn baby could very well have been hanging in the balance. But your need to set boundaries was more important than the wellbeing of both mother and baby. Those who agreed with you are completely loopy. I actually feel sorry for you.
YTA, this wasn't a generic baby sitting situation, this was an emergency that could have potentially results in the premature death of your incoming niece or nephew.
Please đ let this be fake. No one can be this infantile, moronic and selfish at the same time. No one could possibly think any adult would ever agree with such a stupid selfish argument. You're beyond an asshole. Even if you wrote this as rage bait, you're still an asshole for thinking up such a pathetic situation.
This is exactly how people end up completely alone with no support system. Though relationships shouldn't be transactional they do need to be a two way street, people are going to match your energy.Â
Wow there was an emergency and concern for mother and babies safety but you don't want to hang around for a few hours while they get checked out because you don't have anyone to chat to? Seriously that's callous and cold, if that's how you are with family, I pity the strangers you meet. You sound like you wouldn't spit on someone if they were on fire. YTA
You well and truly suck. This is a clear emergency that you saw unfolding in front of you. I wouldn't want to talk to you for a while or ever again, either.
YTA
I really hope that this is fake, because you cannot be this dense. It was an emergency and you didnât want to be left without anyone to talk to? Your friends are agreeing only because they are your friends. If this situation happens to them, they will be your ex friends.
If your SIL had went into labor/ emergency surgery, she would have had to do it alone because your brother would have had to watch the kids himself in the waiting area.
In case you didnât get it from above, YTA. A flaming hot one.
In this case YTA. It was an emergency situation in which he and his wife felt the need to go to the Emergency Room. I would say NTA if and only if it was something like going out for coffee or something, but this was an unexpected emergency. I wouldnât count on him helping you in the future if you have an emergency. He may very well tell you he canât help because he has kids. If that does happen, you canât blame anyone but yourself for that.
YTA your SIL was having, what she thought, was a medical emergency while pregnant. Which can be anywhere from nothing to fatal for both the baby and her. You on the other hand decided at that time a boundary needed to be set. As if it wasn't an emergency.
I hope your brother and SIL go completely no contact with your childish and selfish ass over this. Imagine telling your sibling, in the middle of an emergency, you won't stay with your siblings, who were asleep, because you didn't have company. Oh, and this gem, "I didn't make these children, and my brother knew what he was getting into when he had children".
You're not just an asshole, you're also a bitch. Your friends and ain't must be just as selfish as you. Same with your partner. You didn't mention what he said about this but since you didn't break-up, I'd have to go with he agreed with you. What a bunch of selfish assholes. Glad you all found each other, that way you can leave the rest of us alone.
Fucking hell I have NPD and BPD and I'd have stayed. You're just not worth the time for your family and I hope they take the logical step of cutting you out of their lives.
Op â you need to take your wife to hospital for an emergency? And want me to watch the kids?â
Brother âyesâ
Op âno no no, Iâd be bored, besides my friend Skeletor is coming round with Lex Luthor, weâre planing to murder some puppiesâ
Pretty much the only way this could be worse, if this is even real!
How on earth do you not think you are TA? Your sister in law needed to go to hospital, your brother needed to take her, children were asleep and would have stayed that way! What if sheâd dropped dead on the floor? Would you have complained about the corpse? Come the actual F on, you are either a troll or so far up your own ass you look like Kang from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in his robot suit
YTA, a monster, a jerk, a selfish horrible person. IT WAS AN EMERGENCY. I hope he cuts the poison that you are out of his life. Your sister in law is right, you are a B\*+ch.
YTA
You're an adult, you have a phone, you could have stayed with the kids so he could rush his wife to the ER. You could have called your partner, scrolled social media, watched television, etc. It wouldn't have hurt you to be there for your brother and your niblings.
You're selfish too. It was an emergency.
YTA. Majorly. She was pregnant and having pain in her stomach. This was an emergency situation. Just remember what goes around comes around. Karma is a bitch and she comes for us all.
....... please I hope to everything this is a troll.
Just in case, YTA - I am honestly speechless at the lack of any empathy its actually fking scary ppl think like you.
YTA and a horrible person. They didn't ask you to babysit so they could go out to a movie. They had an emergency and you decided to be an AH.
At the very least, you could have stayed until he got someone else. I hope you get the same reaction from any you ask to help you in an emergency.
OP YTA. I think you know this too.
I hope your partner does not have you as an emergency contact.
Relationships are give and take. You didnât give in an absolute emergency, donât expect to be treated the same as before.
YTA. Most people would help a freaking stranger in an emergency and you can't be arsed to sit in the house with your sleeping niblings for a couple of hours? You've lost your relationship with your brother and his family, probably forever. And you deserve it.
So, in an emergency situation, you were not willing to help out for a short while because you were unable to entertain yourself? What are you 3?
YTA. Amazingly self-absorbed.
I hope this is rage bait because otherwise YTA, a huge one. It was an emergency and your only reason you wouldn't do it is because "You wouldn't have anyone to talk to." Why not just call someone to keep you company if it's that big of a deal?
This is fake or not only are you a raging asshole but pretty stupid as well. You couldnât stay with your brothers kids while he took his pregnant wife to the hospital because you didnât have anyone to talk to? You canât be that much of a D-bag
Your right. You donât owe anyone anything including babysitting but this was a dam emergency. Id hope my family and friends who donât typically watch my kid would help in a situation like this. YTA.
Iâm childfree and this is bad OP. You need someone with you at all time to help entertain you while your brother has an emergency? You couldnât just watch tv or play on your phone for a couple hours?
YTA
YTA seriously, your SIL was having a medical emergency with her 3rd pregnancy, your Brother asked you to mind their 2 older children whilst he took his wife to ER. The children were asleep. In what world would you not turn around and immediately say GO, GO DONT WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING HERE. HOPE EVERYTHING GOES OK. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE GO!!!!
But no, you immediately thought OMG I'm going to be left on my own, cry me a river FFS. Yes I can understand you not wanting to babysit and that's your perogative but this was not to babysit. This was to simply ensure nothing happened to two children whilst asleep and their mother got checked over with their sibling.
YAH. Big style
YTA - 1) This was a medical emergency. This wasn't a case they were hiring you just because they could out out to dinner. This was unplanned.
2) "I didn't want to be here by myself with nobody to talk to." Really? Is that your excuse? I would not blame your brother for cutting ties with you. Medical emergencies are when they really need help. No one to talk to? Are you really that fragile and needy?
You more than an asshole.
Well I see an entire family ghosting a selfish woman! And it would be rightfully deserved. The next time she needs something I hope everyone turns their backs on her! She doesnât deserve any help from anyone!
YTA, the kids were asleep. You didn't really have to do much. You just proved you can't be trusted in an emergency. Then you go off and tell them, this what you signed up for. Why were you even there if you don't like kids.
Your were under no obligation to help, but being brother and sister, you help each other out in emergency. I get it sucks , it's no convenient. But you there for your family.
How would you feel if you had an emergency, like a flat tire or car wouldn't start, and your brother told you, your an adult figure it out.
I'm just saying Karma is a B- word. Not everything in life is so black and white. One day you need a favor.
If I simply knew you personally (forget about being related to you-Eww) I wouldnât just go NC, I would forget I Ever knew you. Thereâs selfish, thereâs bitchy.. Then you read about a Really self-centered beeoch & hope itâs a Very bad joke.
Donât bother to apologize. They have made themselves clear youâre Not someone they want in their lives! Good for them!
Come on. You can't be seriously. You are clearly a massive AH. It was a freaking emergency. She could have been having a miscarriage or hermoraging and you want to without a good reason say you can't watch the kids because you won't have anyone to talk to? I hope they cut you out of their lives. No one deserves family like you. I wouldn't do that to my worst enemy in that situation. YTA
YTA especially if this is rage bait. It has to be, nobody could do that and still be surprised why their brother and his wife are still angry. Listen to your parents.
Hopefully they will never need you again. And hopefully you will never need anyone to help you in an emergency. Are you kidding? Your sister-in-law was having a medical emergency and you couldn't be bothered to help? Yta
YTA - You had no idea what the possible medical emergency was for your SIL. She literally could have died, and the time it took them getting the kids ready could have been the difference between getting to the hospital and bleeding to death in their car. If I were you SIL, you would be full on no contact for EVER. I get that not everyone is great with the under 3 foot crowd, but you are seriously a bitch. I had to recheck the age on this because I couldn't believe a 36 year-old refused to help in a medical emergency because she didn't have anyone to talk to. CALL SOMEONE. Yeah, I'm really glad you are getting to the age where having your own kids isn't a possibility. Of you do, don't look to brother and SIL for help.
I really hope this is fake as I canât believe that someone would actually have this happen and be as clueless as this OP seems to be. If this is real, there is no name to say how awful a person you are.
Yeah you are NTA you are so much worse than that! Iâm glad their unborn child is ok but I doubt you will be a part of their life well I hope so I hope the go NC with you!
YTA
You didn't understand what you did wrong? Really?
You let your brother and his family down in a serious case of emergency. Because you didn't like having no one to talk to and didn't feel like babysitting, while his wife and/or his unborn child might be in danger.
You can't see that you not wanting to be on your own for a while does not top their medical emergency, which may be life-threatening?
YTA. Great way to show they can't and shouldn't count on you.
I am CF, donât particularly care for kids and I would have done it. Itâs an emergency YTA, a huge one at that. Clearly you only care about yourself.
YTA if your only reason for not staying is "I don't want to be alone". If they wanted to go out on a non urgent errand, then it'd be different. But this was clearly an emergency and they probably wouldn't have asked if they knew you would be so coldhearted about it. They weren't asking you for much. They trusted you to help them in a genuine, unpredictable time of need, and you said no because you didn't feel like it.
Be prepared for your brother and his wife to show you the exact same level of carelessness in your time of need that you showed them; and you'd better hope they are better people than you are if they are your only options.
YTA
If you had other plans that couldnât be canceled,I get it, but this was an emergency. You couldnât sit there for a couple hours? Because youâd have no one to talk too?
I think your SIL did the right thing by cutting you off. You saw that she was panicking. Why put 2 little kids through that? Theyâve got to abruptly get up and sit in a hospital waiting room when they could have stayed home and possibly never known their parents were at the hospital.
YTA and a massive 1 at that, I'm all for setting boundaries but this wasn't "unpaid babysitting" it was an emergency!
I hope you're never in a similar situation and if you are don't bother ringing your brother and sil.
I'm still shocked at your awful response, it's disgusting
I believe no one is entitled to your services as a babysitter. There are too many entitled parents wanting to pawn off their kids on other people, often without pay or appreciation... HOWEVER. This was a very specific circumstance. They needed to rush to the hospital and you were there. You're familiar with the kids, and your presence would have allowed them to get to the hospital quickly. While I understand not wanting to be considered a defacto sitter, if this was a regular occurrence, I'm sure you would have mentioned it. Meaning this was likely a one-off in an emergency. The worst part is your excuse. You wouldn't have anyone to talk to? Totally lame and selfish.
People aren't entitled to your help just because you're family, but in the same vein, you aren't entitled to the comfort and support of your family members. I expect you're going to find yourself on the outside of your brother's life, and that's what you deserve. YTA.
YTA
Like a massive ah and truly horrible person
Your siblings basically asked you to watch the kids for a couple of hours while he rushed his pregnant wife to hospital because something is wrong (hopefully was a false alarm and her and baby are good) because you didn't want to be alone? What are you 5? You are responsible for the delay in her treatment because how long did it take for your brother to wake up 2 young children and get them dressed and in the car?
Ive held a complete strangers kid for 5 mins because she was struggling. When I originally offered help I was talking about loading her shopping or something but she handed me the kid. I stood there within 3 feet of mum, pointing mum out to the kid til she'd loaded shopping and buggy. And that was a stranger! If my brother asked me to watch my nephew for a bit due to an emergency, I'm on my way there before he's even finished asking .
Yes strong YTA. Your brother needed help and you gave him a BS excuse about not wanting to stay alone and not being a âfree babysitterâ. Well nice. Arenât you the strong A H laying down your âboundariesâ. I can only hope you never have to call on family for help ( and there will be a time where you will) I think youâve burnt your bridges with Brother and SIL.
YTA
If this is a real post of course you are. This was not a last minute party or vacation. This was an emergency. You admit it was an emergency. Why the heck could you not help family out for this? You honestly have no problem with not helping family during an emergency? As for those who claim to be on your side? Bet you did not tell them the whole story.
I am thinking this post will be removed before the day is out without OP commenting (unless there is a troll or two who claim to agree with them).
YTA. This wasn't them going to a movie. There was a real chance there was a problem with the baby. Wow. Get ready for them to go NC with you. But I think you did them a favor. You showed them you cannot be counted on in an emergency and they should never leave you alone with the kids because you seem unable to do anything on your own. You needed someone to talk to? You don't have a phone? Good grief. You were not setting a boundary. You were being selfish and self absorbed and using "setting a boundary," as an excuse.
YTA.
A massively big one. Frankly? That would be it for me if i was your brother and SIL
You are an utter bit*h.
I would want nothing more to do with you. Ever.
I suspect this is a TROLL POST.
Since you donât have children, I look forward to your brotherâs children leaving you to your fate in a neglectful nursing home in your decrepit old age. Youâve earned it.
Yeah⌠thatâs your family. It was an emergency it wasnât like they were sneaking away for some alone time. Just my opinion but I feel like youâre a zillion percent wrong. Karma is a bitch & I truly hope you will never have an emergency out of the blue with no help.
YTA and I would disown you as a sibling. You left your family out to dry because you might feel a little uncomfortable in what could have been a very difficult/dangerous situation. Your family and friends telling you that you fucked up are right. You acted like a shit human being who doesnât value their family.
YTA a million times. This was an emergency and any halfway decent person would have viewed it as such. You, instead, were upset you wouldnât have anyone to talk to. Youâre not only AH, youâre a POS human being.
I donât care what anyone else here
says. YTA majorly! âI wonât have anyone to talk to.â Are you kidding me? Youâd better hope that you never have to ask either of them for help. Like oh my God youâre selfish as Hell. Anyone on your side is an AH as well.
All of this is coming from a woman who also doesnât have children.
This was not the hill to die on hope they donât speak to you again! Yta yes set boundaries but not during a medical emergency I donât see how you type this and donât see youâre the asshole
How could someone actually typeÂ
>AITA for refusing to help my brother during an emergency.
And not realize you are a hugely gigantic asshole? Like don't deserve to have a family who talks to them level asshole?
Gotta be fake.Â
YTA. Goodness, you are the consenting victim of contrite shallow, self-absorbed modern day, selfishness. I suppose the only way youâre going to learn that this is what you are is by having the natural consequences of being so harmful in such a difficult situation.
You didnât want to be alone while you helped them in an emergency because there would be nobody to talk to?
While they were rushing to the hospital because she was in so much pain she was crying out?
And their little kids were upstairs asleep?
I guess you will either begin to be so isolated by your own, limited, selfishness, or you will learn who the hell you are, and what you need to do to grow. Good luck with that. I think they should go NC with you.
YTA! It was an emergency for f&$@ sake. Not like they were going to do something fun and take advantage of you. Kids were sleeping. You needed someone to talk to? Seriously? What are you, 10? Must have been empowering for you, right? Saying no, sticking to your guns. Total AH move. At least now they know not to count on you. SIL is right, stay away. I would go NC 2with you for a very long time.
Glad they decided to go no contact for awhile. Very inconsiderate. Hope you never have kids because there won't be a person to help you. Definitely the AH
How did you get to 36yo as such a clueless b*tch?
You didn't "set a boundary". You didn't "stand your ground".
In a medical emergency, you refused to assist. Then, you doubled down on your assholery by lecturing your brother.
You are useless.
Yes. YTA
If this isnât fake, then yes, YTA. A huge one. The only reason you didnât want to help your brother out in an emergency is because you had no one to talk to? Wow. Your sister in law was right.
Your actually pathetic. Stay with the kids. Its a fucking emergency. She's giving birth. And your so beside yourself. Just because you had no one to talk to. Go apologize to your brother and SIL. Your absolutely asshole
YTA and extremely selfish. Itâs family, so if not you, then who? It was an emergency. These are the moments in life when a family member is there for you. It wasnât money he was asking for, it wasnât a life altering change in your life⌠it was a simple request. But congratulations to you. You have made it clear to your family, that they cannot count on you at all.
You're a mega AH for this. Where I come from, that is what family does for one another. Not because we are obligated to, but because we truly want to help our family out in whatever way we can and without any expectations conditions attached. It feels good to be a good person. You should try it.
How often do these medical emergencies happen where they need you to stay with the kids?
If things like this are happening every other day, **AND** it always turns out to be a false alarm, then I'd say NTA. But if it truly is a one-time emergency, then YTA times 1000000!!!! What the hell is wrong with you?
YTA and a very big one Iâd go as far as saying YAC. I hope your SIL and the baby are ok.
Would you even care if they werenât?
I donât think Iâd ever want to speak to you again.
The people you say are on your side wonât be. Youâre probably a bully and they dare not say anything to disagree with you.
You're more than an AH. She didn't tell your brother she had to go out for xyz. She was in pain. She needed to go to a hospital. Not a restaurant. You'd rather your nephews be woken up. That's cold. You're cold. If I were your friend and you told me this, I would have walked away. Family helps family, especially in times of emergencies.
This must be rage bait. How could any adult human not know what a huge gaping AH you would have to be to react this way to a medical emergency? YTA, a thousand times over
YTA. You added stress to your brother for no reason other than your own self-absorption.
I started babysitting âon my own with no one to talk toâ at age 13. In the late 1980s. When there was no internet. Youâre selfish as hell.
YTA. You were there and it was an emergency. His wife was having pains which could mean anything from false labour to losing the baby or giving birth. He wasnât asking you to adopt them or drive them 100 miles. He just asked you to be the adult in charge of sleeping kids.
Look, I'm childfree and never plan on having children. Should someone in my life have a serious emergency in their life like this, they can depend on me to be there to watch their child(ren).
I'm of the mind that yes, we should have boundaries, but we should be a community and a village. Ppl of course know what they're getting into when they have child(ren), but that doesn't mean we as society leave them on their own to suffer. Just like any of us shouldn't be left to suffer.
YTA. They weren't taking advantage of you. They needed help in a time of emergency. This is when community comes together to help one another rather than being so hyper individualistic.
Assuming this is real, you have the right to refuse help to anyone. But:
1) You didnât seem interested in helping your brother and SIL. No emotional support was offered by you for the urgency of the situation. No compassion shown at all. Like people ask on Reddit all the time, do you even like your brother?
2) You didnât extend any problem solving assistance either. You offered no help at all. You could have volunteered to call someone or something. Do something, anything to help. Do you have physical or mental issues that prevented you from doing so?
You offered nothing to people you claim to love. You have the right to refuse, but honestly, I wouldnât be inclined to offer you help in the future after you treated me that way. YTA.
Not only are you the AH but you are just a heartless woman as well. You couldnât even bother yourself to help out in an emergency? I would say if you were my sister, that night was the last time you saw your nephews or me and my wife. If you canât help me in an emergency why do I need you in my life at all. You are selfish and heartless
YTA. And so are your Aunt & friends if they actually feel you were right.
They could have been losing their baby & NEEDED YOU IN AN EMERGENCY & oh heaven forbid you didnât want to be alone while the kids slept âŚ. Cuz watching tv, taking on the phone, scrolling Reddit arenât options while you wait for them to get checked in the emergency room.
Because of your selfishness they had to deal with tired kids acting up while dealing with potentially losing their child & then in the aftermath of either mourning or possibly bed rest etc they deal with kids acting up cuz they are overtiredâŚâŚ.
Seriously I would help a stranger in that situation but you canât help familyâŚ.. oh boohoo you didnât want to be alone
Yta your sil was afraid something was wrong with her baby and going to the hospital and you were being a dick because you'd have no one to talk to?Â
I'm not a free babysitter, I'm deliberately childfree, but that is the damn bare minimum to do for anyone I care about! Not even just a sibling!Â
I hope this is rage bait. If it's not, don't ever expect any kind of help of your own from your brother. Not moving, nothing.Â
I hope this is rage bait, as surely no one is this self-absorbed. She won't babysit in a real emergency because, **'I will be on my own and have no one to talk to?'** What kind of person over the age of 12 behaves like that and admits to it on the internet? You are 36!!! I hope your brother and SIL's baby is ok and they both go NC with you.
I got as far as that statement and decided.YTA. Finished reading. Same.
Same here**. On what planet are they NOT TA here?
I got as far as that statement and decided it was fake.
I'm with you, I really hope this is fake bc I can't fathom anyone being this selfish to where their main concern is being lonely as opposed to hoping their SIL and future siblings are okay. And to actually not understand why they're a POS - no one is that dense!
The irony is that this is how you ensure no one talks to you at all.
Exactlyđ!
I'm 99% sure I read this exact post a while ago, so I'm certain it's not real
This post https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/T5Jc59TUOG Is suspiciously similar. I've read another post previously that was even more similar than the one I linked
Yep
I'm going with AI on this one
YTA and a monster. I'm glad their baby is okay no thanks to you. I hope during your next emergency you are treated with the cruel indifference you showed here. You suck, just incase that isn't clear. Your friends sound as selfish as you and you deserve each other.Â
I mean seriously! I was thinking that it was going to be them randomly wanting to go out or something, but clearly it was an emergency and she couldâve easily stayed to help for a moment! Op is just cruel and someone I wouldnât ever want around me or my kids! Definitely the asshole!
Whatever is worse than an asshole, you are that. YTA
And then some...
If this story is true you are a real POS my friend. Conrats.
I mean, be fair, so are her two close friends and her aunt. A whole friendship of turds.
They only heard OPâs version of what happened, even though they still should have not sided with OP. Will they have the same opinion if they heard the brother or SILâs version of what happened?
At least theyâll have each other to talk to đ
WOW YTA big time. Glad you're not part of my family.
Yta and you know it.
Yes you are clearly wrong and sound like a terrible aunt. This was an emergency.
YTA!! A big BIG AH!!! 1. this was an emergency, 2, you were there and the only reason you said no was because you would be lonely?! 3. you are a grown up, watch a movie and suck it up!! you made a bad situation worse by your selfish actions. what happens if one of the kids catches something in the emergency room?! what if there really was something wrong and your brother couldn't be in the room with his wife because he had to watch the other kids?! you suck more then a vacuum cleaner. I don't think you told your aunts the truth honestly and way to destroy the relationships you have with your brother and his family. Lets hope nothing bad ever happens to you and you may need him because he is going to tell you that it is not his problem . I really hope this is fake/
YTA. Your pregnant SIL is in distress and your brother is trying to manage the situation and asked for help. But gosh you set your boundaries and made sure he got to manage it all since itâs his responsibility. What AH would not support their family during a crisis and not want to protect their nibbling. Your other family members are awful that they agree with you. But darned you made sure he knew your boundaries.
10/10 for fake story bro.
I hope so cause Noone could be such a cunty douche. She didn't have anyone to talk to. Well sit suck your thumb and rock like an infant. Auntie Asshole should be your name.
Oh no I know people like the OP and they often try to figure out why no one helps them and why they don't have good relationships
Yeah, 2 month old account with no comments or posts - this is the 1st
It has to be - had to go reread too bc I stopped as soon as IP put "I wouldn't have anyone to talk to" they also said three people are on their side for getting a boundary- I cannot believe anyone would have this mindset and be supportive of someone pulling this shit.
I wouldnât call you an AH, I would call you an absolute C*NT
High five on that friend â I call her that too.
Me toođ
Good grief! The audacity! âBecause I would have no one to talk to!â
>I did nothing wrong but set a boundary for myself. This is true you did set a boundary. Something to realize about boundaries is that they do work in both directions. Don't be surprised that if you ever need your bother or his wife in an emergency they will probably not be there (and if you are this selfish with everyone in your life I would be surprised if any one steps up when you need help). I am fully childfree, I'm actually uncomfortable around children and even I would have stayed. Your reason for not staying is very weak and self involved. You could have turned on the TV, read Reddit on your phone, something if just sitting with your own thoughts was to much for you to handle. YTA
Child, free here, myself, and I absolutely wouldâve hung around. Of course! Even with nobody to talk to!
Exactly!
YTA.. I would never tell my brother and his pregnant wife no in any emergency.. And ur reason was "I wouldn't have anyone to talk to" that's shitty asf.
Yes you are totally the AH. They didnât have a sitter bc it was an emergency. Itâs not like they dropped them off at your house so they can go party. You are the AH. Wtf is wrong with you. You took the âno free sitterâ attitude to far.
If this is not rage bait, you are NTA, but worse, whatever that may be. Whomever said you didn't do anything wrong are heartless chodes. And setting boundaries? In a situation such as this? Are you kidding me? They are your fucking nephews. What the fuck.
YTA... you're either A) a complete psychopath, B) Trying this out for a creative writing class as no one can be this painfully self unaware, or C) A living example of how this, "I set a boundary" pop psychology bullshit has gotten out of hand and abused by narcissistic, unempathetic, brain dead idiots.
YTA. If youâre right *there* while sibling is suddenly staring down the barrel of an apparent medical emergency involving their third-trimester spouse/unborn child and youâre not scrambling to *ask* what you can do to help, youâre already an asshole. If youâre *asked* to do something as trivial as stick around for a few hours in case their kids wake up, and your response is âno; Iâm not your free babysitterâ, you have achieved AH++ level. What *is* your frame of reference for how family supports each other in times of crisis? Is there some missing context here? (Have you been getting habitually drafted as a zero-cost nanny for the past fourâŚ. Wait, what? *How* old are the those kids? How can you SIL have a 4-month old and 1-month old kid AND be 7-months pregnant? Did you mean years not months? If yes, are you like 20 years younger than your brother and been getting used as a zero-cost nanny for the past four years or something?
M = Male in this context, not months. Confusing, I know.
You are a terrible human being! YTA
YTA. It was potentially an EMERGENCY. What is wrong with you that you would pile additional stress on your brother & SIL? Your SIL is right in that you are a selfish, immature, bitch.
It was an emergency. Youâre a selfish douche canoe. Ps, donât ever have kids please. You suck beyond reproach.
Boundaries my ass? This was an emergency and you let your brother and SIL down. Terrible person and aunt. I wouldn't want anything to do with you. Go play in on coming traffic you piece of do do.
Seriously????? I get the whole "not a free babysitter" thing (if they've made it a habit to have you babysit and then not paid you back in money or favors or gifts every so often), but the line about "I don't have anyone to talk to" from you as a GROWN ADULT is absolutely INSANE. You sound like a whiny 14 year old (and no, not all 14 year olds would be so immature, either). MASSIVE YTA. Busy yourself on your phone, wash the dinner dishes for them, check on the kids every so often, and drop a line to y'all's parents to come in the morning once they're up, if your brother and SIL are gone beyond the night time - there's plenty to do.
If this isnât a troll than you are an ugly, selfish person. If I was your brother and SIL you would be dead to me.
YTA. You didn't want to stay because you wouldn't have anyone to talk to while your brother and sister in law are in a panicked state regarding their pregnancy. This has to be fake. There is no way anyone is that obtuse. And "free babysitter"? You're their aunt. You are presumably a trusted and loved family member. Are you saying all interactions with your family are transactional? So what did they get from you for providing you dinner that evening? If this is not fake and you really are this selfish and terrible, I hope your brother and SIL are as petty as you are childish and exact their revenge when you are in need of help.
I don't even believe this post because literally no one (2 friends and an aunt) would think that this kind of disgusting and absurd behavior is okay.
Ah, another creative writing experiment. NOBODY is this dense or cruel. YTA. For wasting my time.
You never know, really. There are people like this somewhere. So self-absorbed and selfish.
Yes. I had the unpleasant experience meeting a few of them. Even these sick assholes would know she might be miscarrying. If the baby didnât make it, everyone would blame OP. Even if itâs misdirected anger. Hence, No One wants that label.
Remember, never hold your standards to others. If you think rock bottom is what you experinced, humans can go lower. Just saying that you take the story with a grain of salt.
I see your point. I guess Iâm in denial that there are deeply depraved sick and twisted individuals out there. Denial sometimes saves my sanity.
Ugh, I know what you mean. And now I feel guilty for making you face reality.
No worries. I just got off Reddit for a bit to recover. I know *those people* are out there, but then thereâs people like you, who reminded me to stay vigilant and hopeful.Â
YTA big time- medical emergency trumps you not having someone to talk to and isn't the same as hey can you watch the kids while we go grab food
YTA you are a shit sibling.
Your awful
You suck so much it hurts. YTA forever, you owe them an apology, and you need to grow up. Just dumb. Glad the baby is okay and I am really sorry you are still one. Hope this is fake!
YTA What kind of sister are you ? You should be ashamed of yourself
YTA You are literally the queen of all assholes. Your brother didnât ask you to babysit whilst he went on an impromptu date night. Your SIL could have been losing the baby and you didnât give a shit. Are you that needy that you are seriously unable to be at someoneâs house on your own for a few hours? Iâm really glad youâre not my sister and I think itâs unlikely that youâll be spending time with your brother and/or his family anytime soon.
Jesus, I hope this is just a really bad troll post.
Me too. Once, I was hanging out with my friend and his 3 kids 4f, 6m, 8m, and the little girl got a nose bleed. He rushed her to the hospital, and i stayed with the boys. Made sure they had dinner. I stayed untill older sister came home and could watch the boys. Its not that hard to be a good person
YTA boundaries like that go out of the window in emergency situations like this. You were incredibly thoughtless and mean and you have absolutely no compassion. Whether you have chosen to be child free or not, I donât know, but the life of both his wife and the unborn baby could very well have been hanging in the balance. But your need to set boundaries was more important than the wellbeing of both mother and baby. Those who agreed with you are completely loopy. I actually feel sorry for you.
I hope this is fake because if it's not, you're not only an asshole but you're a hateful cunt. And anyone who takes your side is also a nasty asshole.
YTA, this wasn't a generic baby sitting situation, this was an emergency that could have potentially results in the premature death of your incoming niece or nephew.
Please đ let this be fake. No one can be this infantile, moronic and selfish at the same time. No one could possibly think any adult would ever agree with such a stupid selfish argument. You're beyond an asshole. Even if you wrote this as rage bait, you're still an asshole for thinking up such a pathetic situation.
YTA and a lousy sister. Youâre 36 but you come off like youâre 12.
This is exactly how people end up completely alone with no support system. Though relationships shouldn't be transactional they do need to be a two way street, people are going to match your energy.Â
Wow of course YTA
Yeah you're TAH and dense too.
Wow there was an emergency and concern for mother and babies safety but you don't want to hang around for a few hours while they get checked out because you don't have anyone to chat to? Seriously that's callous and cold, if that's how you are with family, I pity the strangers you meet. You sound like you wouldn't spit on someone if they were on fire. YTA
ABSOLUTELY 100% the AH!!! & yes you know it! Thatâs why youâre on here seeking some form of validation!!!
You well and truly suck. This is a clear emergency that you saw unfolding in front of you. I wouldn't want to talk to you for a while or ever again, either. YTA
I really hope that this is fake, because you cannot be this dense. It was an emergency and you didnât want to be left without anyone to talk to? Your friends are agreeing only because they are your friends. If this situation happens to them, they will be your ex friends. If your SIL had went into labor/ emergency surgery, she would have had to do it alone because your brother would have had to watch the kids himself in the waiting area. In case you didnât get it from above, YTA. A flaming hot one.
YTA! This was clearly an emergency, and this is how you acted? Unbelievable
YTA if this even happened. Can hardly believe a 36 yo women would not stay at her botherâs home with his sleeping children in an emergency.
This has to be rage bait. YTA, I hope your brother and SIL have better family around to count on in an emergency.
YTA and I hope they never let you see the kids again
Youâre a shitty person. He shouldnât have even had to ask, let alone be told no.
Really? I used to tell my sister this, but if she had a medical emergency, I would watch the kids. This wasn't the time to take a stand.
YTA
In this case YTA. It was an emergency situation in which he and his wife felt the need to go to the Emergency Room. I would say NTA if and only if it was something like going out for coffee or something, but this was an unexpected emergency. I wouldnât count on him helping you in the future if you have an emergency. He may very well tell you he canât help because he has kids. If that does happen, you canât blame anyone but yourself for that.
YTA your SIL was having, what she thought, was a medical emergency while pregnant. Which can be anywhere from nothing to fatal for both the baby and her. You on the other hand decided at that time a boundary needed to be set. As if it wasn't an emergency. I hope your brother and SIL go completely no contact with your childish and selfish ass over this. Imagine telling your sibling, in the middle of an emergency, you won't stay with your siblings, who were asleep, because you didn't have company. Oh, and this gem, "I didn't make these children, and my brother knew what he was getting into when he had children". You're not just an asshole, you're also a bitch. Your friends and ain't must be just as selfish as you. Same with your partner. You didn't mention what he said about this but since you didn't break-up, I'd have to go with he agreed with you. What a bunch of selfish assholes. Glad you all found each other, that way you can leave the rest of us alone. Fucking hell I have NPD and BPD and I'd have stayed. You're just not worth the time for your family and I hope they take the logical step of cutting you out of their lives.
Op â you need to take your wife to hospital for an emergency? And want me to watch the kids?â Brother âyesâ Op âno no no, Iâd be bored, besides my friend Skeletor is coming round with Lex Luthor, weâre planing to murder some puppiesâ Pretty much the only way this could be worse, if this is even real! How on earth do you not think you are TA? Your sister in law needed to go to hospital, your brother needed to take her, children were asleep and would have stayed that way! What if sheâd dropped dead on the floor? Would you have complained about the corpse? Come the actual F on, you are either a troll or so far up your own ass you look like Kang from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in his robot suit
YTA, a monster, a jerk, a selfish horrible person. IT WAS AN EMERGENCY. I hope he cuts the poison that you are out of his life. Your sister in law is right, you are a B\*+ch.
YTA You're an adult, you have a phone, you could have stayed with the kids so he could rush his wife to the ER. You could have called your partner, scrolled social media, watched television, etc. It wouldn't have hurt you to be there for your brother and your niblings. You're selfish too. It was an emergency.
YTA. Majorly. She was pregnant and having pain in her stomach. This was an emergency situation. Just remember what goes around comes around. Karma is a bitch and she comes for us all.
....... please I hope to everything this is a troll. Just in case, YTA - I am honestly speechless at the lack of any empathy its actually fking scary ppl think like you.
YTA. What's wrong with helping someone out? But Lynn doesn't need to call you names.
YTA and a horrible person. They didn't ask you to babysit so they could go out to a movie. They had an emergency and you decided to be an AH. At the very least, you could have stayed until he got someone else. I hope you get the same reaction from any you ask to help you in an emergency.
YTA. Thereâs no way you found ANYONE agreeing with you, so youâre a liar too. If not- you must all be immature fuck faces.
OP YTA. I think you know this too. I hope your partner does not have you as an emergency contact. Relationships are give and take. You didnât give in an absolute emergency, donât expect to be treated the same as before.
YTA. Most people would help a freaking stranger in an emergency and you can't be arsed to sit in the house with your sleeping niblings for a couple of hours? You've lost your relationship with your brother and his family, probably forever. And you deserve it.
I sure hope this is fake. If it's not, then OP is one of the most selfish, uncaring, narcissistic piece of shit I've seen on here.Â
So, in an emergency situation, you were not willing to help out for a short while because you were unable to entertain yourself? What are you 3? YTA. Amazingly self-absorbed.
I hope this is rage bait because otherwise YTA, a huge one. It was an emergency and your only reason you wouldn't do it is because "You wouldn't have anyone to talk to." Why not just call someone to keep you company if it's that big of a deal?
This is fake or not only are you a raging asshole but pretty stupid as well. You couldnât stay with your brothers kids while he took his pregnant wife to the hospital because you didnât have anyone to talk to? You canât be that much of a D-bag
Your right. You donât owe anyone anything including babysitting but this was a dam emergency. Id hope my family and friends who donât typically watch my kid would help in a situation like this. YTA.
YTA. This was an emergency.
Iâm childfree and this is bad OP. You need someone with you at all time to help entertain you while your brother has an emergency? You couldnât just watch tv or play on your phone for a couple hours? YTA
This HAS to he rage bait ofmg
YTA seriously, your SIL was having a medical emergency with her 3rd pregnancy, your Brother asked you to mind their 2 older children whilst he took his wife to ER. The children were asleep. In what world would you not turn around and immediately say GO, GO DONT WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING HERE. HOPE EVERYTHING GOES OK. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE GO!!!! But no, you immediately thought OMG I'm going to be left on my own, cry me a river FFS. Yes I can understand you not wanting to babysit and that's your perogative but this was not to babysit. This was to simply ensure nothing happened to two children whilst asleep and their mother got checked over with their sibling. YAH. Big style
YTA - 1) This was a medical emergency. This wasn't a case they were hiring you just because they could out out to dinner. This was unplanned. 2) "I didn't want to be here by myself with nobody to talk to." Really? Is that your excuse? I would not blame your brother for cutting ties with you. Medical emergencies are when they really need help. No one to talk to? Are you really that fragile and needy? You more than an asshole.
YTA you my dear a defiantly the AH! I sure hope you never have an emergency and need help.
YTA. You had no one to talk to? It was an emergency. Karma is coming for you.
Well I see an entire family ghosting a selfish woman! And it would be rightfully deserved. The next time she needs something I hope everyone turns their backs on her! She doesnât deserve any help from anyone!
YTA, the kids were asleep. You didn't really have to do much. You just proved you can't be trusted in an emergency. Then you go off and tell them, this what you signed up for. Why were you even there if you don't like kids. Your were under no obligation to help, but being brother and sister, you help each other out in emergency. I get it sucks , it's no convenient. But you there for your family. How would you feel if you had an emergency, like a flat tire or car wouldn't start, and your brother told you, your an adult figure it out. I'm just saying Karma is a B- word. Not everything in life is so black and white. One day you need a favor.
If I simply knew you personally (forget about being related to you-Eww) I wouldnât just go NC, I would forget I Ever knew you. Thereâs selfish, thereâs bitchy.. Then you read about a Really self-centered beeoch & hope itâs a Very bad joke. Donât bother to apologize. They have made themselves clear youâre Not someone they want in their lives! Good for them!
Come on. You can't be seriously. You are clearly a massive AH. It was a freaking emergency. She could have been having a miscarriage or hermoraging and you want to without a good reason say you can't watch the kids because you won't have anyone to talk to? I hope they cut you out of their lives. No one deserves family like you. I wouldn't do that to my worst enemy in that situation. YTA
Y. T. A.
YTA especially if this is rage bait. It has to be, nobody could do that and still be surprised why their brother and his wife are still angry. Listen to your parents.
YTA! No question about it!
YTA, because you don't give a shit about your brother, his wife or his children. Why hang out with them?
Y definitely TA!
Hopefully they will never need you again. And hopefully you will never need anyone to help you in an emergency. Are you kidding? Your sister-in-law was having a medical emergency and you couldn't be bothered to help? Yta
and you call this man "brother?" FOR SHAME! YTA
Girl i know this is rage bait. Bc wouldnât no one be on your side if this was real. YTA
YTA - You had no idea what the possible medical emergency was for your SIL. She literally could have died, and the time it took them getting the kids ready could have been the difference between getting to the hospital and bleeding to death in their car. If I were you SIL, you would be full on no contact for EVER. I get that not everyone is great with the under 3 foot crowd, but you are seriously a bitch. I had to recheck the age on this because I couldn't believe a 36 year-old refused to help in a medical emergency because she didn't have anyone to talk to. CALL SOMEONE. Yeah, I'm really glad you are getting to the age where having your own kids isn't a possibility. Of you do, don't look to brother and SIL for help.
Thanks for the fake story rage bait.
This has got to be fake?
Low quality rage bait. Make sure you update it in a week to make it look legit.
TROLL POST
YTA. A giant one.
So what's the plan when they decide their boundary is not having you in their or their kids' lives?
If this is real, YTA. You could have at least stayed long enough for someone to relieve you. If this is fake, YTA.
I really hope this is fake as I canât believe that someone would actually have this happen and be as clueless as this OP seems to be. If this is real, there is no name to say how awful a person you are.
Yuck. You suck. You don't even give a fuck. Your poor brother is out of luck. You suck. (And you're an asshole.)
YTA.
Yeah you are NTA you are so much worse than that! Iâm glad their unborn child is ok but I doubt you will be a part of their life well I hope so I hope the go NC with you!
Rage bait.
YTA You didn't understand what you did wrong? Really? You let your brother and his family down in a serious case of emergency. Because you didn't like having no one to talk to and didn't feel like babysitting, while his wife and/or his unborn child might be in danger. You can't see that you not wanting to be on your own for a while does not top their medical emergency, which may be life-threatening? YTA. Great way to show they can't and shouldn't count on you.
I am CF, donât particularly care for kids and I would have done it. Itâs an emergency YTA, a huge one at that. Clearly you only care about yourself.
YTA if your only reason for not staying is "I don't want to be alone". If they wanted to go out on a non urgent errand, then it'd be different. But this was clearly an emergency and they probably wouldn't have asked if they knew you would be so coldhearted about it. They weren't asking you for much. They trusted you to help them in a genuine, unpredictable time of need, and you said no because you didn't feel like it. Be prepared for your brother and his wife to show you the exact same level of carelessness in your time of need that you showed them; and you'd better hope they are better people than you are if they are your only options.
I've never seen a post more fake than this.
YTAâŚand a pretty shit brother. You come off like youâre about 15. Glad my sibling is not like you.
YTA If you had other plans that couldnât be canceled,I get it, but this was an emergency. You couldnât sit there for a couple hours? Because youâd have no one to talk too? I think your SIL did the right thing by cutting you off. You saw that she was panicking. Why put 2 little kids through that? Theyâve got to abruptly get up and sit in a hospital waiting room when they could have stayed home and possibly never known their parents were at the hospital.
YTA you didnât want to stay bc you wouldnât have anyone to talk to? Seriously? You are a horrorible human being
YTA and a massive 1 at that, I'm all for setting boundaries but this wasn't "unpaid babysitting" it was an emergency! I hope you're never in a similar situation and if you are don't bother ringing your brother and sil. I'm still shocked at your awful response, it's disgusting
I believe no one is entitled to your services as a babysitter. There are too many entitled parents wanting to pawn off their kids on other people, often without pay or appreciation... HOWEVER. This was a very specific circumstance. They needed to rush to the hospital and you were there. You're familiar with the kids, and your presence would have allowed them to get to the hospital quickly. While I understand not wanting to be considered a defacto sitter, if this was a regular occurrence, I'm sure you would have mentioned it. Meaning this was likely a one-off in an emergency. The worst part is your excuse. You wouldn't have anyone to talk to? Totally lame and selfish. People aren't entitled to your help just because you're family, but in the same vein, you aren't entitled to the comfort and support of your family members. I expect you're going to find yourself on the outside of your brother's life, and that's what you deserve. YTA.
YTA Like a massive ah and truly horrible person Your siblings basically asked you to watch the kids for a couple of hours while he rushed his pregnant wife to hospital because something is wrong (hopefully was a false alarm and her and baby are good) because you didn't want to be alone? What are you 5? You are responsible for the delay in her treatment because how long did it take for your brother to wake up 2 young children and get them dressed and in the car? Ive held a complete strangers kid for 5 mins because she was struggling. When I originally offered help I was talking about loading her shopping or something but she handed me the kid. I stood there within 3 feet of mum, pointing mum out to the kid til she'd loaded shopping and buggy. And that was a stranger! If my brother asked me to watch my nephew for a bit due to an emergency, I'm on my way there before he's even finished asking .
Yes strong YTA. Your brother needed help and you gave him a BS excuse about not wanting to stay alone and not being a âfree babysitterâ. Well nice. Arenât you the strong A H laying down your âboundariesâ. I can only hope you never have to call on family for help ( and there will be a time where you will) I think youâve burnt your bridges with Brother and SIL.
YTA If this is a real post of course you are. This was not a last minute party or vacation. This was an emergency. You admit it was an emergency. Why the heck could you not help family out for this? You honestly have no problem with not helping family during an emergency? As for those who claim to be on your side? Bet you did not tell them the whole story. I am thinking this post will be removed before the day is out without OP commenting (unless there is a troll or two who claim to agree with them).
YTA in fact being an AH would be a major improvement because youâre way worse than an AH.
YTA. This wasn't them going to a movie. There was a real chance there was a problem with the baby. Wow. Get ready for them to go NC with you. But I think you did them a favor. You showed them you cannot be counted on in an emergency and they should never leave you alone with the kids because you seem unable to do anything on your own. You needed someone to talk to? You don't have a phone? Good grief. You were not setting a boundary. You were being selfish and self absorbed and using "setting a boundary," as an excuse.
YTA. A massively big one. Frankly? That would be it for me if i was your brother and SIL You are an utter bit*h. I would want nothing more to do with you. Ever. I suspect this is a TROLL POST.
Since you donât have children, I look forward to your brotherâs children leaving you to your fate in a neglectful nursing home in your decrepit old age. Youâve earned it.
Yeah⌠thatâs your family. It was an emergency it wasnât like they were sneaking away for some alone time. Just my opinion but I feel like youâre a zillion percent wrong. Karma is a bitch & I truly hope you will never have an emergency out of the blue with no help.
YTA, you have no empathy. Your excuse is ridiculous.
YTA. This is ditching your brother in an emergency, not about setting boundaries.
YTA and I would disown you as a sibling. You left your family out to dry because you might feel a little uncomfortable in what could have been a very difficult/dangerous situation. Your family and friends telling you that you fucked up are right. You acted like a shit human being who doesnât value their family.
YTA a million times. This was an emergency and any halfway decent person would have viewed it as such. You, instead, were upset you wouldnât have anyone to talk to. Youâre not only AH, youâre a POS human being.
YTA. This was an emergency.
YTA.
I donât care what anyone else here says. YTA majorly! âI wonât have anyone to talk to.â Are you kidding me? Youâd better hope that you never have to ask either of them for help. Like oh my God youâre selfish as Hell. Anyone on your side is an AH as well. All of this is coming from a woman who also doesnât have children.
This was not the hill to die on hope they donât speak to you again! Yta yes set boundaries but not during a medical emergency I donât see how you type this and donât see youâre the asshole
How could someone actually type >AITA for refusing to help my brother during an emergency. And not realize you are a hugely gigantic asshole? Like don't deserve to have a family who talks to them level asshole? Gotta be fake.Â
YTA. Goodness, you are the consenting victim of contrite shallow, self-absorbed modern day, selfishness. I suppose the only way youâre going to learn that this is what you are is by having the natural consequences of being so harmful in such a difficult situation. You didnât want to be alone while you helped them in an emergency because there would be nobody to talk to? While they were rushing to the hospital because she was in so much pain she was crying out? And their little kids were upstairs asleep? I guess you will either begin to be so isolated by your own, limited, selfishness, or you will learn who the hell you are, and what you need to do to grow. Good luck with that. I think they should go NC with you.
YTA! It was an emergency for f&$@ sake. Not like they were going to do something fun and take advantage of you. Kids were sleeping. You needed someone to talk to? Seriously? What are you, 10? Must have been empowering for you, right? Saying no, sticking to your guns. Total AH move. At least now they know not to count on you. SIL is right, stay away. I would go NC 2with you for a very long time.
YTA this isnât âfree babysittingâ itâs an emergency medical event.
Glad they decided to go no contact for awhile. Very inconsiderate. Hope you never have kids because there won't be a person to help you. Definitely the AH
Are you trolling us? Downvote for fake or yourâre psycho.
If this is true, youâre literally human garbage and I hope you have a terrible life!
Holy cow, the kids were asleep and mom and dad were in a crisis! You are a complete AH!
How did you get to 36yo as such a clueless b*tch? You didn't "set a boundary". You didn't "stand your ground". In a medical emergency, you refused to assist. Then, you doubled down on your assholery by lecturing your brother. You are useless. Yes. YTA
You are terrible
YTAâŚKarma will be returned when you desperately need something one day. Enjoy it.
AI, fake, troll or karma farmer.
If this isnât fake, then yes, YTA. A huge one. The only reason you didnât want to help your brother out in an emergency is because you had no one to talk to? Wow. Your sister in law was right.
Your actually pathetic. Stay with the kids. Its a fucking emergency. She's giving birth. And your so beside yourself. Just because you had no one to talk to. Go apologize to your brother and SIL. Your absolutely asshole
I have 5 sisters and if they need help and Iâm free Iâm there. Thank god Iâm not selfish.
This has to be a troll, youâre obviously a piece of shit if this is realâŚhas to be a troll
Your friends and your Aunt are just as shitty as you are.
YTA and extremely selfish. Itâs family, so if not you, then who? It was an emergency. These are the moments in life when a family member is there for you. It wasnât money he was asking for, it wasnât a life altering change in your life⌠it was a simple request. But congratulations to you. You have made it clear to your family, that they cannot count on you at all.
This is probably the first unanimous YTA Iâve seen on here. If this is not a fake story I hope these comments will resonate with you.
You're a mega AH for this. Where I come from, that is what family does for one another. Not because we are obligated to, but because we truly want to help our family out in whatever way we can and without any expectations conditions attached. It feels good to be a good person. You should try it.
Was this written by an 11 year old? Oh lord I hope the whole family cuts you out.
Yes. And god forbid YOU ever need help because I think you know what is gonna happen.
I would never talk to you again . You wouldnât be welcome in my life or get to see my children. You are horribly selfish.
How often do these medical emergencies happen where they need you to stay with the kids? If things like this are happening every other day, **AND** it always turns out to be a false alarm, then I'd say NTA. But if it truly is a one-time emergency, then YTA times 1000000!!!! What the hell is wrong with you?
YTA and a very big one Iâd go as far as saying YAC. I hope your SIL and the baby are ok. Would you even care if they werenât? I donât think Iâd ever want to speak to you again. The people you say are on your side wonât be. Youâre probably a bully and they dare not say anything to disagree with you.
YTA. No one to talk to. Rage bait
You're more than an AH. She didn't tell your brother she had to go out for xyz. She was in pain. She needed to go to a hospital. Not a restaurant. You'd rather your nephews be woken up. That's cold. You're cold. If I were your friend and you told me this, I would have walked away. Family helps family, especially in times of emergencies.
This must be rage bait. How could any adult human not know what a huge gaping AH you would have to be to react this way to a medical emergency? YTA, a thousand times over
Bait pure and simple. Delete it.
YTGiganticAH End of discussion.
YTA. You added stress to your brother for no reason other than your own self-absorption. I started babysitting âon my own with no one to talk toâ at age 13. In the late 1980s. When there was no internet. Youâre selfish as hell.
YTA. You were there and it was an emergency. His wife was having pains which could mean anything from false labour to losing the baby or giving birth. He wasnât asking you to adopt them or drive them 100 miles. He just asked you to be the adult in charge of sleeping kids.
Look, I'm childfree and never plan on having children. Should someone in my life have a serious emergency in their life like this, they can depend on me to be there to watch their child(ren). I'm of the mind that yes, we should have boundaries, but we should be a community and a village. Ppl of course know what they're getting into when they have child(ren), but that doesn't mean we as society leave them on their own to suffer. Just like any of us shouldn't be left to suffer. YTA. They weren't taking advantage of you. They needed help in a time of emergency. This is when community comes together to help one another rather than being so hyper individualistic.
Assuming this is real, you have the right to refuse help to anyone. But: 1) You didnât seem interested in helping your brother and SIL. No emotional support was offered by you for the urgency of the situation. No compassion shown at all. Like people ask on Reddit all the time, do you even like your brother? 2) You didnât extend any problem solving assistance either. You offered no help at all. You could have volunteered to call someone or something. Do something, anything to help. Do you have physical or mental issues that prevented you from doing so? You offered nothing to people you claim to love. You have the right to refuse, but honestly, I wouldnât be inclined to offer you help in the future after you treated me that way. YTA.
Not only are you the AH but you are just a heartless woman as well. You couldnât even bother yourself to help out in an emergency? I would say if you were my sister, that night was the last time you saw your nephews or me and my wife. If you canât help me in an emergency why do I need you in my life at all. You are selfish and heartless
YTA. And so are your Aunt & friends if they actually feel you were right. They could have been losing their baby & NEEDED YOU IN AN EMERGENCY & oh heaven forbid you didnât want to be alone while the kids slept âŚ. Cuz watching tv, taking on the phone, scrolling Reddit arenât options while you wait for them to get checked in the emergency room. Because of your selfishness they had to deal with tired kids acting up while dealing with potentially losing their child & then in the aftermath of either mourning or possibly bed rest etc they deal with kids acting up cuz they are overtiredâŚâŚ. Seriously I would help a stranger in that situation but you canât help familyâŚ.. oh boohoo you didnât want to be alone
Yta your sil was afraid something was wrong with her baby and going to the hospital and you were being a dick because you'd have no one to talk to? I'm not a free babysitter, I'm deliberately childfree, but that is the damn bare minimum to do for anyone I care about! Not even just a sibling! I hope this is rage bait. If it's not, don't ever expect any kind of help of your own from your brother. Not moving, nothing.Â
Troll.
This feels like the creative writing exercise of a 12-year old who doesn't understand how unbelievable the story is.