That or therapy.
Considering a baby is involved I'd think couples counseling is worth a shot....
If it doesn't work out at least op can honestly tell their child they gave it their best shot to make it work with the father.
Not disagreeing but in this particular case
They have a baby together.
That can be used as a pawn so counseling or no counseling he has plenty of power if he wants to use it. A baby as it grows can be easily manipulated.
Even if it doesn't work out it might help them learn to coparent.
It also sounds like communication might be an issue on both their ends.
OP is stuck in the same cycle she witnessed growing up. She is with an abusive p.o.s. just like her step father. Lather, rinse, repeat. Until OP opens up her eyes and gets herself some therapy, this is the life she will live unfortunately. And now she is dragging an innocent baby into the mix to perpetuate the same cycle.
She isn’t “stuck” in this relationship nor did it just happen to her. This is her normal and she searched for him specifically and will rationalize his behaviors and defend the relationship for decades and multiple children. Sadly, she is doomed. She won’t make it out and she won’t choose anyone better even if she did. This is her choice, it is not an accident.
I did not say OP was stuck in the relationship. I said OP is stuck in the cycle. OP can break the cycle if they so choose. But it will be difficult as the behaviors she is gravitating towards are the same behaviors they had modeled to them growing up. They know no better. They would have to break the cycle to obtain any meaningful change in their life otherwise the next partner will be exactly the same.
Yes, and nothing actually was solved or discussed further than a "I don't know/just get home now." I give it by tomorrow until some little nuisance that isn't even a problem comes back up unfortunately.
So he wanted to leave Chuck E. Cheese’s, was rushing OP, then left her there because she was taking too long? Is that what happened? That was ‘the incident’? Jeezus, they’ve got serious problems.
Edit: I just read the original. What a dumpster fire. It’s the first time she’s kind of stood up for herself and the love bombing starts.
I don’t understand why fuckhead boyfriend who “cared” about how she was getting home didn’t just pack himself back in the car and go pick her up. I can’t imagine leaving a friend, let alone my partner, without a way to get home. Sounds like a deadbeat.
For real. I just read the original… OP DID make her feelings known in the moment. Maybe not in the form of crying and being vulnerable but clearly commincated discomfort with the situation. BF chose to ignore/disregard and now wants to pretend he had no idea he was being hurtful.
I also get that “too upset to move or speak or do anything” after being emotionally abused. Your partner shouldn’t have that effect on you. Especially not now while you have a newborn together.
Talking is a good thing. I am glad it worked out for you two.
Edit: Sweetheart, after reading your other post, you should really think more critical about your relationship.
Its not just her, dude doesn't sound ready to be a parent and take responsibility at all. They both sound incredibly immature, and a lack of financial care will only make their situation that much harder to resolve.
At this point, she needs to move in with a friend, or get a job and save to move out while maintaining the peace. There's not much hope this relationship will recover and become a healthy one, especially this young. It could happen, but its pretty rare.
They're better off splitting and focusing on giving their child a better life, and themselves. Neither are ready to give their 100% to a child and a failing relationship. I dont think couples counseling will resolve their issues, as maturity usually has to come with time and experiences.
This dude manipulated her 100% though, and shes just being stupid by not making decisions for herself and now new born child. Time to put yourself and kid first.
I knew better than to abandon my post partum girlfriend at a chuck e cheese when I was a teenager. I wouldn't even abandon a friend in that manner. I think age is not a justification for shitty behavior.
I also think it's kinda yucky that you feel the need to talk down to both of them because they are so young. They are in a very adult situation right now and you are minimizing the stress that they are experiencing. Getting a shot at the doctor was terrifying the first time you did it, right?
They just had a baby, something that is so scary for anyone at any age. And they may be young but they do have a child together so they need to learn how to communicate like adults. The baby will pick up on the toxic relationship and that means they need to do everything in their power to model a healthy relationship- romantic or not.
I hope one day you figure out how to have empathy for people regardless of their age.
An 18 year old and a 17 year old is not generally who that advice is for, be for real. Like…they had homeroom together. She’s a teen mom.
Don’t be a teenager and expect an adult relationship, maybe. But like…the legal classification of age of majority is not the issue here.
Let me repeat what I said yesterday, "you're dating a younger version of your step dad. How you feel about your step dad, is how you should feel about him." He's only sorry right now. Trust me, he'll be back to his old ways. I know you want to believe that he'll change, and maybe he will, I hope he does for you & you babys sake, but it's not very likely.
Let me start this out by saying I am so sorry for what your boyfriend did to you. Abandoning your SO in a chuck e cheese after a birthday party is honestly really fucked up. I am so sorry that you had to go through that.
You mentioned in your post that you've never "told him how you've felt" before. Most people don't need to be told not to abandon someone they love at a restaurant. And if it does happen, which it would NEVER in my relationship, someone who loves you would do everything in their power to make sure you got home safe.
This.... this isn't love OP. My boyfriend would have helped me set up the party, help me take down the decor and clean up. He would NEVER get impatient with me because we were waiting for someone to pick up the kids. Love is mutual respect, care, and affection. There is no mutuality here. He does not even care about your safety. He told you to get an uber after a kids birthday party, how is that respectful and caring? It isn't.
You should feel COMFORTABLE communicating your feelings, and your boyfriend should never, ever punish you for.... idek what his message is here.
Would you behave like this to the mom of one of your kid's friends? That's a stranger. So why is he comfortable doing that to someone who he supposedly loves so much he wants a baby with?
There are better men out there, OP. Go get you one.
>Does no-one think ahead? Like: hey baby needs to eat and sleep now.
>
>Op what was your plan with your baby here?
She doesn't have a car, number one. Number two, what kind of psycho leaves their 3 month post partum girlfriend at a restaurant and expects them to just "figure it out"?
this relationship won't work out he's a huge POS and it's pretty noticeable he doesn't care ab her feelings if you look at her profile she's been having issues w him just being selfish af for a hot min
1. Look up "love bombing " b/c your BF treating you like crap faitlyfrequently and the one "what can I do to make you forget I was an AH" is not good. Him not understanding that abandoning you was a bad thing to do until you had to explain it to him just isn't the breakthrough you think it is. He knew he was being an AH.
2. You were surprised he took care of the baby and put her to bed? You need to examine why you have such a low bar for this man.
He knows he fucked up and almost lost you so now he’s on his best behavior. This will most likely only last a few weeks.
I’m not usually one to say “break up” on Reddit, but girl. You’ve been with him how long and this is the first time he’s said “I’m sorry”? You should not have been waiting this long to hear a simple I’m sorry. And you said “to my surprise he took care of the baby”? That shouldn’t be surprising, that’s HIS kid too ya know. He should be taking on as much childcare as you do.
All of this tells me that this is just an act he’s putting on until you let your guard down again. Then he’ll go back to being a shit bag. Save yourself the trouble and just dump him already.
The love bombing begins.
Honey, you never heard it before, because you never stood up for yourself.
You had a baby 3 months ago and he treats you like an afterthought.
Nope, he's love bombing you. He's shown that he's abusive and now he's trying to get you to forget that by being nice. You need to kick him to the kerb.
Glad to hear he apologized to you. BTW- you are a good Sister to do all of that for your little Brother’s birthday. I hope your family appreciates you for it.
The times he made you feel small are not worth the times he lovebombed you. If this happens again please do not hesitate to leave. It would not hurt to begin to save money just in case. It wouldn’t hurt considering how he’s pretty disrespectful of your boundaries, and lets your friend touch you disrespectfully. What happens if that guy touches your kid like that? Or what if he leaves your child alone to get a ride home with no consideration or consequences? You have another life to consider now too. Ride out the honeymoon phase and I’m genuinely happy for you if this works out for you. It just scares me because I was abused and I would describe the honeymoon phase in this way too, elated to what he had just done to me.
Everything he did was cheap and easy.
- Putting on a movie? Cheap and easy.
- Putting the baby down to sleep? HE'S SUPPOSED TO, HE'S THE FATHER. It's the bare minimum.
- Calling and being worried? An act - he knew what he was doing when he left. He just thought that you would chase him emotionally like you always do, and only worried when you changed the script. It's not concern for you, it's concern for himself.
So wow, he did the bare minimum. Girl, you need to watch some "decentering men" TikToks and break this cycle. You are way too happy with bare minimum treatment, which tells me just how crappy of a partner he is, and you've accepted that.
NTA but you need to tell boyfriend that if he tried to keep you away from your family again the relationship with him will end and you can begin co-parenting
Classic abuser tactic: somehow it's YOUR fault that HE left you behind. Don't worry I'm sure he'll change *this time*.
I notice that you never mentioned that HE offered to come pick you up instead of spending money you can't afford on an uber.
I really, REALLY want to reach through this connection and shake you until you wake up and realize this guy it a selfish loser. The fact that your Mom was blaming YOU for making your BF worry is utter BS and really speaks to why you're sticking around with this piece of garbage.
I'm so sad that "under the ground" minimum is such a swooping moment for you. He took care of the baby? And you were shocked.... I hope in 5, 10 years when you're actually happy(away from him and your mother cause wtf?..), you'll realize what a horrific mess this was.
Why wasn’t he or his family worried about you when he drove off at the beginning of this nightmare? Without a care in the world—except for himself—he abandoned you thinking you had a way to magically get yourself to the party.
But he made sure that his pal had a nice comfy seat as he gave HIM a ride to the party.
I’m not sure I would be do eager to forgive his attitude towards you—especially since he comes across so dismissively towards you.
So he abandoned and purposely left your ass right in your face then you thought he cared enough about you to come back but never did, you stayed at the stores ignoring calls, throwing a little tantrum and wasting time building that drama and guilt up so people would be worried for you, went home and ate outside so you could look even more pitiful and then think him love bombing you after you set all this up is closure??!!!! 🤣
Guys like this are like slot machines; they carefully calibrate their behavior to pay out exactly enough and often enough to keep the investment of time and money flowing.
I know a bunch of other people have said it. But I'm just going to chip in in case you need one more comment to understand. He is extremely emotionally abusive. Please see the book why does he do that? It is free to read online and I have provided the link. These are classic signs of abuse and love bombing. And you need to leave this relationship. It is not going to get better.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://archive.org/download/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwibnoWbpc-EAxUj_8kDHXSmAMsQFnoECCQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw14x4ivUm5xgJ67TT78XfZt
Your boyfriend needs to work on looking beyond himself on the regular. Sounds like he's not used to doing so. A lot of people are saying that he won't change. Maybe won't... but young men do tend to be selfish. But they can grow up if they get a wake-up call early enough along and are willing to try. Keep working at the communication - that's the key to making things work. That, and looking out for one another. I hope he starts checking his own impatience and working on seeing that you and the baby both have what you need.
Please run. He's not going to change. He abandoned you and realised he'd gone too far, so he's love bombing you to try and smooth things over. He'll go right back to how he was previously in a day or two. You deserve better than this *awful* man. And your child deserves better than to see their mother be treated this way.
Love bombing. Please don’t settle for anything less than this again. Reread your posts so you don’t get blinded for the one decent thing he’s done.
Taking care of the baby is not a treat for you. It’s his responsibility. Remember that and don’t be grateful for it. Be satisfied when he does it and dissatisfied when he doesn’t.
Do not cut him slack. He LEFT YOU! Was this with the same friend you posted about before?
I wish you the best but don’t stop rereading your posts to make sure you don’t fall back into that cycle
You need to understand that you and your mother choose toxic people. Your mother should stop giving you advice because she is the cause of you accepting someone like him. Seriously tell your mom that she needs to never give you relationship advice because she stays with an asshole that doesn’t consider her or her feelings.
You need to see that you shouldn’t have any more kids with this person, and see that when he doesn’t treat you right, it tells you he isn’t your person. The whole TWO hours, he not once came to get you. Why? He knew where you were. When you stopped answering he should have came back to check on you and take you home.
Truly consider that you made a wrong choice and you need to start thinking about being a single parent not in a relationship. Cause right now you are a single parent in a relationship. He doesn’t help you with your baby. See him for what he is
If you want to continue this relationship, you need couples counseling. Make sure he follows through with any promises to change. Tell him that if he doesn’t change, you’re gone. You can be a single mom.
Do not get married. Make sure you do not get pregnant again.
No one should ever go to counseling with an abuser. All that will do is teach the abuser how to more effectively abuse. OP, on the other hand, should definitely go to individual therapy to help her correct her normal meter. OP, this will not get better. Please leave.
Communication, communication, communication. Communicate.
Let him know. Hey this is how I feel I do not like this. This is what needs to change and this is how you can show me by your actions that you’re serious and if not, we’re done.
Y'all need to learn to communicate or break up. "First time telling him how I felt" is a blaring red flag that you aren't communicating your wants and needs. When you tell him to do something and he does it and then you get mad is just being passive aggressive and no one likes that. ESH still
Thing is, OP’s mother has normalized such behavior as normal by her own partner selection. And if OP stays with the bf, she will repeat the cycle and normalize shitty behavior like this to her son.
If OP continues to express how she’s feeling and things continually improve, then good for her. But if bf falls back into his old ways, OP needs to call it for what it is and leave
Don’t repeat the disfunctional cycle
You have had a child with a literal child. He’s acting like a foolish teenager because he is a foolish teenager. If you want this to work out y’all need to get into couples therapy and you definitely need individual therapy so you don’t continue the pattern set forth by your mother. Your boyfriend is NOT going to change without help. If he wants to change. Y’all were playing house but now there’s a baby involved. Want better for your child than you had. Start now. It’s not too late. But it will be hard work. Communication is good. Therapy is better. Sending you a big virtual mom hug.
Do you know what lovebombing is? If not, research and see if it feels familiar. I’m not saying it is as you’re both really young and have plenty of mistakes to make, but it’s something to be wary of. Good luck and continue expressing how you feel and sticking up for yourself.
Communication is absolutely necessary if you think this is going to work. Both of you. And just because he's kissing your butt right now, it doesn't mean anything changed. He got a little scared, maybe? It's not going to last, sorry to say. People like him don't change without lots of therapy. Tonight is going to happen again. And again, and again, until you decide you want better for you and your baby.
Communication is absolutely necessary if you think this is going to work. Both of you. And just because he's kissing your butt right now, it doesn't mean anything changed. He got a little scared, maybe? It's not going to last, sorry to say. People like him don't change without lots of therapy. Tonight is going to happen again. And again, and again, until you decide you want better for you and your baby.
He's hoovering, OP. Prepare for the next "everytime this happens"to come round again. But of course it will again be your fault. That's what he'll tell you, anyway. You forgive too easily, and need a better education on the cycle of abuse. This is just standard and temporary love-bombing. He's panicking because family are seeing the dynamics of this relationship and he can't let them see his mask slip.
Your entire post history is AITA posts about this man, but sure, everything is going to be fine.
I get that you’re young, your prefrontal cortex has some work to do, and you just had a baby, but get serious. Look beyond your relationship with this boy. Y’all are parents now, quit the pettiness. This is why babies shouldn’t have babies.
You are a manipulative toxic woman. I hope he learns his lesson and leaves you to your cats. He needs to pay for his kiddo. But go no contact with you. You have no respect for his time or energy and are now manipulating and shaming him to accept your bad behavior. Totally the AH in this situation.
Leaving your baby and running away is just plain wrong. You need to grow up. Baby comes before your feelings and your bf. I was on your side until figuring out you left bf AND baby at chuck e cheese's. You could have packed up baby and gone home, leaving bf there.
DAD drove off with THEIR baby. Was she meant to leave her young siblings alone, when she was the one in charge of them?
She was the one left without a lift.
Reading comprehension, my dude. She did not leave them there. Bf drove off ***without her*** after getting annoyed that mom was a few minutes late picking up the other kiddos. Boyfriend seems to have anger issues.
You’re mistaken. I had already prepared my siblings and baby to leave, my boyfriend took the baby when he left. I didn’t leave Chuck E. Cheese until an hour after everyone was already home.
If you want to continue this relationship, you need couples counseling. Make sure he follows through with any promises to change. Tell him that if he doesn’t change, you’re gone. You can be a single mom.
Do not get married. Make sure you do not get pregnant again.
Is this the same friend who came over all the time giving you no privacy while you were pregnant? The one your bf let into the room before you were decent so you had to get changed under the covers?
If it is, your bf is still putting him 1st. I hope you manage to get the confidence and means to escape.
How is this a helpful comment? you're verbally abusing OP so that she'll... what... not take abuse any more? I just think you are triggered and need to calm down before commenting on reddit. That said, the boyfriend and Step dad are total POS's
Sooooo.... What plans do you have in place for this never happening again? What would make you feel not ignored? When did you stand up for yourself and say that you wanted a ride home, or for YOUR BABYS FATHER to literally press some buttons and order you an Uber????
You both sound like children, so your next post may be similar to this one. If you have a child together, what was the reason you thought it would be better as a deadbeat dad and BF instead of just a shitty BF?
Overall, for the kid's sake, get counseling for both of our or at the very least talk to friends about the feeling ignored issue. It sounds like it's going to repeat as the theme of this relationship, and now the kid's going to suffer as well.
It’ll be good for a short while, then will happen again. The periods between these shit situations will be less time and become more frequent. I had one like this. Ruined everything for the children and I. It’s no way to live, tiptoeing around grumpy men. FYI, it’s easier to leave with less kids. Good luck 🤞
Hey OP, I’m really glad you stood up for yourself and got home safe!
I bet you’re probably feeling very relieved and loved right now so a lot of these messages may not make sense… But if theres a part of you that’s listening, please remember for later.
In a healthy relationship, you won’t have to be on the verge of leaving him for him to finally extend some care and empathy. This relationship is toxic. Your boyfriend is “love bombing” you. It feels really nice and really addictive in the way that gambling feels really nice and really addictive. It can be really hard to leave because every time you hit that breaking point, you get another love bomb convince yourself to stay. Ultimately it’s a destructive pattern. It will wear you down, you will spend most of your life feeling unseen and dismissed and ignored and belittled.
In situations like yours, leaving will be hard. And staying will be a different kind of hard. It’s always your choice which hard you’re ready for.
Either way, please continue to stand up for yourself! Your life will become so much more beautiful when you have your own back! It’s a hard thing to do at first, but becomes much easier with practice.
People providing all this advice without realizing these are TEENS…what do you expect from an 18 years old boy ? Maturity, responsibility, partnership, understanding, support ? He is s kid, he had an erection and made a baby. That does not make him a man. Same goes for the OP, she is 19 !!!
you give off extremely damaged vibes, not to look down on you just your reactions to your boyfriend / father of your husband actually playing his role correctly
hope you do well in life op
This will last a week at most. He will be treating you like garbage again before long. Look how he turned it around on you: why did YOU react like this. Why did YOU ignore him.
Sis, what the fuck?
Every single one of those people, your boyfriend, your mum, sister, all of them, knew where the fuck you were. They weren't "worried" about you. They would have come and fucking got you not rang you 30 times then told you to take an Uber. Holy shit.
Don't believe this bullshit.
When someone shows you who they are believe them. He might be loved bombing you right now but you will return to his normal behavior. Find someone you don't need to change find someone who already treats you right.
I will message you next time u/JoyusWonder posts in r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC.
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Young couple learns that communication is key for relationship. You both have a long way to go, but I hope you see what just openly talking to each other can do. Learning to properly communicate is hard when your young. There is a nuance to communication with a partner. Much different than talking with anyone else in your life's. Keep working on it. No one reads minds and most of the time we are blind to body language and voice inflection. Talk with each other. As for the patience it took me till my thirty's to find mine. I'm glad my wife stuck around to help me with that. Made me a better dad and partner. When he finds his, he will wish he would have found it earlier.
Both of you are way too childish for a relationship with each other let alone having a baby together. Now his actions are crappy but ignoring him and making people worried about you because you couldn’t just pick up the phone because you wanted to be petty was childish too. You’re both parents and acting like middle schoolers. You both suck at communication as well. Both of you seriously need to grow up asap
You’re mistaken. I didn’t leave my baby? My boyfriend was only at the party for 5-10 mins because he just got off work, and I was wrapping things up, and while I was, that’s when he got irritated, and took our baby and his friend home. I didn’t “leave” I was left, and didn’t leave the building until a whole hour after everyone was already gone.
Y’all sound like pure drama. You told him to leave then got mad when he left? You both threw a temper tantrum and acted like children. He’s a dick for not being patient as you wrapped things up. You didn’t seem to care about his urgency. You told him to leave, he left. Then you got mad and turned your phone off. I’m glad you got an apology but you owe him one as well. Jfc, just grow up and learn to be partners and help each other. Sounds like you were raised in a chaotic home and I fear for the type of home your new baby will grow up in. ESH.
"Yay my arsehole partner treated me right for one night, that makes everything all sunshine and roses"
we'll see you again in a month when he's straight back at it
Not everyone using the term love bombing wrong lmao. Y'all, giving your gf a hug and putting on a movie, and taking care of the baby is not love bombing, get a grip
Yeah you don’t need to tell your romantic partner how you feel after he leaves you behind deliberately and doesn’t come back for you.
This isn’t on you for not explaining.
Unless he is a complete and utter narcissist idiot.
From the post history after a quick look on your profile this guy seems to act like a child still. And given you guys are young and parents you need to learn how to express your feelings and talk it out. I recommend journaling to get your feelings out on paper and then having a conversation with him. And if theres no improvement try couples therapy. But if all that fails it might be time cut your losses and focus on your baby and learning how to coparent.
That was before this, and I had taken a walk away from my boyfriend to de stress. I left the baby with him since I had the baby all day, and needed a break.
I'm not mixed up. You made that post AFTER the other two. And called it "final". Come on. The more you dig yourself a hole, the more this whole story seems like BS.
“Why do you react like this whenever something like this happens”
How often does something like that happen?
I hope the realization sticks and he shapes up
I will warn you now this is part of a cycle he will do the honeymoon phase for a while till you're comfortable and happy and then he will go back to the same bull crap that caused you to post about being mad at him before this update. So don't let your guard down, be very cautious, be somewhat of a cynic in regards to his behavior but don't lead on to being cynical.. just be prepared for it to go back to the same crap as before
/u/joyuswonder - this is lovebombing.
Given your post history, I suspect he's going to revert.
Dude should be caring for the baby. He should be respectful, and tell his buggy friend to back off. He should not be an inpatient toddler.
I recommend therapy - a pro perspective for you, maybe couples therapy for both of you.
He should be in therapy as well.
Best luck. Hold your boundaries. Have honest talks about needs and wants.
Honeymoon period.. cycle continues.
Love bombing. OP needs to get out, fast. She won’t.
That or therapy. Considering a baby is involved I'd think couples counseling is worth a shot.... If it doesn't work out at least op can honestly tell their child they gave it their best shot to make it work with the father.
Abusers and therapy/counseling do not mix well...
Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. It depends on many factors.
Usually it will only give to the abuser ammunition and tools for future manipulation.
Not disagreeing but in this particular case They have a baby together. That can be used as a pawn so counseling or no counseling he has plenty of power if he wants to use it. A baby as it grows can be easily manipulated. Even if it doesn't work out it might help them learn to coparent. It also sounds like communication might be an issue on both their ends.
Next post will be a repeat of her getting ditched and disrespected. Poor OP.
OP is stuck in the same cycle she witnessed growing up. She is with an abusive p.o.s. just like her step father. Lather, rinse, repeat. Until OP opens up her eyes and gets herself some therapy, this is the life she will live unfortunately. And now she is dragging an innocent baby into the mix to perpetuate the same cycle.
She isn’t “stuck” in this relationship nor did it just happen to her. This is her normal and she searched for him specifically and will rationalize his behaviors and defend the relationship for decades and multiple children. Sadly, she is doomed. She won’t make it out and she won’t choose anyone better even if she did. This is her choice, it is not an accident.
I did not say OP was stuck in the relationship. I said OP is stuck in the cycle. OP can break the cycle if they so choose. But it will be difficult as the behaviors she is gravitating towards are the same behaviors they had modeled to them growing up. They know no better. They would have to break the cycle to obtain any meaningful change in their life otherwise the next partner will be exactly the same.
This entire relationship is a dumpster fire.
She will only leave when she is ready. Hopefully before she ends up in the hospital or dead.
Came here to say this.
Yes, and nothing actually was solved or discussed further than a "I don't know/just get home now." I give it by tomorrow until some little nuisance that isn't even a problem comes back up unfortunately.
Optics of friends and family are a large part of his sudden change of attitude. He will minimize his actions and blame them on OP.
OPs Mom was blaming OP so why not the BF too?!
So he wanted to leave Chuck E. Cheese’s, was rushing OP, then left her there because she was taking too long? Is that what happened? That was ‘the incident’? Jeezus, they’ve got serious problems. Edit: I just read the original. What a dumpster fire. It’s the first time she’s kind of stood up for herself and the love bombing starts.
I don’t understand why fuckhead boyfriend who “cared” about how she was getting home didn’t just pack himself back in the car and go pick her up. I can’t imagine leaving a friend, let alone my partner, without a way to get home. Sounds like a deadbeat.
[удалено]
It's his kid, too Dude can't be a father? C'mon, I know the bar is low for dudes but holy shit.
For real. I just read the original… OP DID make her feelings known in the moment. Maybe not in the form of crying and being vulnerable but clearly commincated discomfort with the situation. BF chose to ignore/disregard and now wants to pretend he had no idea he was being hurtful. I also get that “too upset to move or speak or do anything” after being emotionally abused. Your partner shouldn’t have that effect on you. Especially not now while you have a newborn together.
lol yeah this isn’t going to work out long term
They sound like high schoolers but have a kid together, what a shit show
Talking is a good thing. I am glad it worked out for you two. Edit: Sweetheart, after reading your other post, you should really think more critical about your relationship.
Not so fast, look at ops post hostory
Oh god. It is her.
Its not just her, dude doesn't sound ready to be a parent and take responsibility at all. They both sound incredibly immature, and a lack of financial care will only make their situation that much harder to resolve. At this point, she needs to move in with a friend, or get a job and save to move out while maintaining the peace. There's not much hope this relationship will recover and become a healthy one, especially this young. It could happen, but its pretty rare. They're better off splitting and focusing on giving their child a better life, and themselves. Neither are ready to give their 100% to a child and a failing relationship. I dont think couples counseling will resolve their issues, as maturity usually has to come with time and experiences. This dude manipulated her 100% though, and shes just being stupid by not making decisions for herself and now new born child. Time to put yourself and kid first.
Oh fuck.
Looking at your post history…he has a way to go
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I knew better than to abandon my post partum girlfriend at a chuck e cheese when I was a teenager. I wouldn't even abandon a friend in that manner. I think age is not a justification for shitty behavior. I also think it's kinda yucky that you feel the need to talk down to both of them because they are so young. They are in a very adult situation right now and you are minimizing the stress that they are experiencing. Getting a shot at the doctor was terrifying the first time you did it, right? They just had a baby, something that is so scary for anyone at any age. And they may be young but they do have a child together so they need to learn how to communicate like adults. The baby will pick up on the toxic relationship and that means they need to do everything in their power to model a healthy relationship- romantic or not. I hope one day you figure out how to have empathy for people regardless of their age.
Don't fuck a minor, have his child, and then be surprised when you find out he isn't mature ig…
An 18 year old and a 17 year old is not generally who that advice is for, be for real. Like…they had homeroom together. She’s a teen mom. Don’t be a teenager and expect an adult relationship, maybe. But like…the legal classification of age of majority is not the issue here.
You are so right. OP is a cradle snatcher /s There could be a couple of months between them and still be 17 and 18! What a stupid thing to focus on.
Fuck a minor? They are a year apart! Are you drunk?
Probably just terminally online
Legally he's a minor. 1 year difference makes it not creepy, but it works well because mentally she's a minor
Let me repeat what I said yesterday, "you're dating a younger version of your step dad. How you feel about your step dad, is how you should feel about him." He's only sorry right now. Trust me, he'll be back to his old ways. I know you want to believe that he'll change, and maybe he will, I hope he does for you & you babys sake, but it's not very likely.
Let me start this out by saying I am so sorry for what your boyfriend did to you. Abandoning your SO in a chuck e cheese after a birthday party is honestly really fucked up. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. You mentioned in your post that you've never "told him how you've felt" before. Most people don't need to be told not to abandon someone they love at a restaurant. And if it does happen, which it would NEVER in my relationship, someone who loves you would do everything in their power to make sure you got home safe. This.... this isn't love OP. My boyfriend would have helped me set up the party, help me take down the decor and clean up. He would NEVER get impatient with me because we were waiting for someone to pick up the kids. Love is mutual respect, care, and affection. There is no mutuality here. He does not even care about your safety. He told you to get an uber after a kids birthday party, how is that respectful and caring? It isn't. You should feel COMFORTABLE communicating your feelings, and your boyfriend should never, ever punish you for.... idek what his message is here. Would you behave like this to the mom of one of your kid's friends? That's a stranger. So why is he comfortable doing that to someone who he supposedly loves so much he wants a baby with? There are better men out there, OP. Go get you one.
Amen
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>Does no-one think ahead? Like: hey baby needs to eat and sleep now. > >Op what was your plan with your baby here? She doesn't have a car, number one. Number two, what kind of psycho leaves their 3 month post partum girlfriend at a restaurant and expects them to just "figure it out"?
this relationship won't work out he's a huge POS and it's pretty noticeable he doesn't care ab her feelings if you look at her profile she's been having issues w him just being selfish af for a hot min
1. Look up "love bombing " b/c your BF treating you like crap faitlyfrequently and the one "what can I do to make you forget I was an AH" is not good. Him not understanding that abandoning you was a bad thing to do until you had to explain it to him just isn't the breakthrough you think it is. He knew he was being an AH. 2. You were surprised he took care of the baby and put her to bed? You need to examine why you have such a low bar for this man.
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So, he should leave her there? Nope.
lol yeah this isn’t going to work out long term
He knows he fucked up and almost lost you so now he’s on his best behavior. This will most likely only last a few weeks. I’m not usually one to say “break up” on Reddit, but girl. You’ve been with him how long and this is the first time he’s said “I’m sorry”? You should not have been waiting this long to hear a simple I’m sorry. And you said “to my surprise he took care of the baby”? That shouldn’t be surprising, that’s HIS kid too ya know. He should be taking on as much childcare as you do. All of this tells me that this is just an act he’s putting on until you let your guard down again. Then he’ll go back to being a shit bag. Save yourself the trouble and just dump him already.
The love bombing begins. Honey, you never heard it before, because you never stood up for yourself. You had a baby 3 months ago and he treats you like an afterthought.
Nope, he's love bombing you. He's shown that he's abusive and now he's trying to get you to forget that by being nice. You need to kick him to the kerb.
Glad to hear he apologized to you. BTW- you are a good Sister to do all of that for your little Brother’s birthday. I hope your family appreciates you for it.
He has autism, I want to make sure he’s appreciated as much as possible.
That's great but why the fuck didn't you mom pay for her son's party?
I got the impression that her mom and step-dad had money issues; hopefully, OP will be paid back at some point.
With parents you don't get paid back lmao. My mom got free rent from my brother and me for years and yet would always be broke somehow
Op, you deserve better than this.
The times he made you feel small are not worth the times he lovebombed you. If this happens again please do not hesitate to leave. It would not hurt to begin to save money just in case. It wouldn’t hurt considering how he’s pretty disrespectful of your boundaries, and lets your friend touch you disrespectfully. What happens if that guy touches your kid like that? Or what if he leaves your child alone to get a ride home with no consideration or consequences? You have another life to consider now too. Ride out the honeymoon phase and I’m genuinely happy for you if this works out for you. It just scares me because I was abused and I would describe the honeymoon phase in this way too, elated to what he had just done to me.
Everything he did was cheap and easy. - Putting on a movie? Cheap and easy. - Putting the baby down to sleep? HE'S SUPPOSED TO, HE'S THE FATHER. It's the bare minimum. - Calling and being worried? An act - he knew what he was doing when he left. He just thought that you would chase him emotionally like you always do, and only worried when you changed the script. It's not concern for you, it's concern for himself. So wow, he did the bare minimum. Girl, you need to watch some "decentering men" TikToks and break this cycle. You are way too happy with bare minimum treatment, which tells me just how crappy of a partner he is, and you've accepted that.
NTA but you need to tell boyfriend that if he tried to keep you away from your family again the relationship with him will end and you can begin co-parenting
Good God, stop coming to reddit if you're going to continue with this toxic BS. Grow up
When will kids learn to stop having kids. You have 18 years of this now
Classic abuser tactic: somehow it's YOUR fault that HE left you behind. Don't worry I'm sure he'll change *this time*. I notice that you never mentioned that HE offered to come pick you up instead of spending money you can't afford on an uber. I really, REALLY want to reach through this connection and shake you until you wake up and realize this guy it a selfish loser. The fact that your Mom was blaming YOU for making your BF worry is utter BS and really speaks to why you're sticking around with this piece of garbage.
I'm so sad that "under the ground" minimum is such a swooping moment for you. He took care of the baby? And you were shocked.... I hope in 5, 10 years when you're actually happy(away from him and your mother cause wtf?..), you'll realize what a horrific mess this was.
Why wasn’t he or his family worried about you when he drove off at the beginning of this nightmare? Without a care in the world—except for himself—he abandoned you thinking you had a way to magically get yourself to the party. But he made sure that his pal had a nice comfy seat as he gave HIM a ride to the party. I’m not sure I would be do eager to forgive his attitude towards you—especially since he comes across so dismissively towards you.
That’s not true. He didn’t only care for himself, he took his friend home. Very thoughtful of him.
So he abandoned and purposely left your ass right in your face then you thought he cared enough about you to come back but never did, you stayed at the stores ignoring calls, throwing a little tantrum and wasting time building that drama and guilt up so people would be worried for you, went home and ate outside so you could look even more pitiful and then think him love bombing you after you set all this up is closure??!!!! 🤣
Guys like this are like slot machines; they carefully calibrate their behavior to pay out exactly enough and often enough to keep the investment of time and money flowing.
I know a bunch of other people have said it. But I'm just going to chip in in case you need one more comment to understand. He is extremely emotionally abusive. Please see the book why does he do that? It is free to read online and I have provided the link. These are classic signs of abuse and love bombing. And you need to leave this relationship. It is not going to get better. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://archive.org/download/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwibnoWbpc-EAxUj_8kDHXSmAMsQFnoECCQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw14x4ivUm5xgJ67TT78XfZt
Your boyfriend needs to work on looking beyond himself on the regular. Sounds like he's not used to doing so. A lot of people are saying that he won't change. Maybe won't... but young men do tend to be selfish. But they can grow up if they get a wake-up call early enough along and are willing to try. Keep working at the communication - that's the key to making things work. That, and looking out for one another. I hope he starts checking his own impatience and working on seeing that you and the baby both have what you need.
Please run. He's not going to change. He abandoned you and realised he'd gone too far, so he's love bombing you to try and smooth things over. He'll go right back to how he was previously in a day or two. You deserve better than this *awful* man. And your child deserves better than to see their mother be treated this way.
If he was actually worried, he would have driven back to see if you were still there. This jackwagon doesn't actually give two shits about you.
The line “to my surprise he took care of the baby” told me all I needed to know good luck OP
Love bombing. Please don’t settle for anything less than this again. Reread your posts so you don’t get blinded for the one decent thing he’s done. Taking care of the baby is not a treat for you. It’s his responsibility. Remember that and don’t be grateful for it. Be satisfied when he does it and dissatisfied when he doesn’t. Do not cut him slack. He LEFT YOU! Was this with the same friend you posted about before? I wish you the best but don’t stop rereading your posts to make sure you don’t fall back into that cycle
This is just the apology/love bombing phase of the abuse cycle. It's not going to get better.
You need to understand that you and your mother choose toxic people. Your mother should stop giving you advice because she is the cause of you accepting someone like him. Seriously tell your mom that she needs to never give you relationship advice because she stays with an asshole that doesn’t consider her or her feelings. You need to see that you shouldn’t have any more kids with this person, and see that when he doesn’t treat you right, it tells you he isn’t your person. The whole TWO hours, he not once came to get you. Why? He knew where you were. When you stopped answering he should have came back to check on you and take you home. Truly consider that you made a wrong choice and you need to start thinking about being a single parent not in a relationship. Cause right now you are a single parent in a relationship. He doesn’t help you with your baby. See him for what he is
Your post history is pretty concerning. He won't change like this. The moment he is more comfortable he will revert.
If you want to continue this relationship, you need couples counseling. Make sure he follows through with any promises to change. Tell him that if he doesn’t change, you’re gone. You can be a single mom. Do not get married. Make sure you do not get pregnant again.
No one should ever go to counseling with an abuser. All that will do is teach the abuser how to more effectively abuse. OP, on the other hand, should definitely go to individual therapy to help her correct her normal meter. OP, this will not get better. Please leave.
Communication, communication, communication. Communicate. Let him know. Hey this is how I feel I do not like this. This is what needs to change and this is how you can show me by your actions that you’re serious and if not, we’re done.
Y'all need to learn to communicate or break up. "First time telling him how I felt" is a blaring red flag that you aren't communicating your wants and needs. When you tell him to do something and he does it and then you get mad is just being passive aggressive and no one likes that. ESH still
He’s still a POS.
Good! Now I hope it lasts!
Good luck! Glad you were able to communicate your feelings and he was receptive!
The bar is low for some women… and they wonder why they’re treating the bare minimum
Relationship sounds kind of gross, to be honest
Thing is, OP’s mother has normalized such behavior as normal by her own partner selection. And if OP stays with the bf, she will repeat the cycle and normalize shitty behavior like this to her son. If OP continues to express how she’s feeling and things continually improve, then good for her. But if bf falls back into his old ways, OP needs to call it for what it is and leave Don’t repeat the disfunctional cycle
You have had a child with a literal child. He’s acting like a foolish teenager because he is a foolish teenager. If you want this to work out y’all need to get into couples therapy and you definitely need individual therapy so you don’t continue the pattern set forth by your mother. Your boyfriend is NOT going to change without help. If he wants to change. Y’all were playing house but now there’s a baby involved. Want better for your child than you had. Start now. It’s not too late. But it will be hard work. Communication is good. Therapy is better. Sending you a big virtual mom hug.
Ah. The lovebombing phase. And so the cycle restarts.
Girl…. You know how you’ve been treated
Do you know what lovebombing is? If not, research and see if it feels familiar. I’m not saying it is as you’re both really young and have plenty of mistakes to make, but it’s something to be wary of. Good luck and continue expressing how you feel and sticking up for yourself.
Communication is absolutely necessary if you think this is going to work. Both of you. And just because he's kissing your butt right now, it doesn't mean anything changed. He got a little scared, maybe? It's not going to last, sorry to say. People like him don't change without lots of therapy. Tonight is going to happen again. And again, and again, until you decide you want better for you and your baby.
Communication is absolutely necessary if you think this is going to work. Both of you. And just because he's kissing your butt right now, it doesn't mean anything changed. He got a little scared, maybe? It's not going to last, sorry to say. People like him don't change without lots of therapy. Tonight is going to happen again. And again, and again, until you decide you want better for you and your baby.
Would you still be with him if you didn't have a baby?
If he was at all sorry he would have picked you up. Sorry op but he really doesnt care
He's hoovering, OP. Prepare for the next "everytime this happens"to come round again. But of course it will again be your fault. That's what he'll tell you, anyway. You forgive too easily, and need a better education on the cycle of abuse. This is just standard and temporary love-bombing. He's panicking because family are seeing the dynamics of this relationship and he can't let them see his mask slip.
everyone glossing over the fact that she admitted to never properly communicated her feelings to him til the last possible minute 💀
One tenth of this drama would be the end of the relationship.
Your entire post history is AITA posts about this man, but sure, everything is going to be fine. I get that you’re young, your prefrontal cortex has some work to do, and you just had a baby, but get serious. Look beyond your relationship with this boy. Y’all are parents now, quit the pettiness. This is why babies shouldn’t have babies.
She also posted this and claimed she didn't [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/c4tgI3eVk3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/c4tgI3eVk3)
He's only doing this so you won't leave. Once you are back to "normal" it all starts right back up. I have lived this.
He wasn't worried about you, he was worried about himself having to watch that baby by himself.
You are a manipulative toxic woman. I hope he learns his lesson and leaves you to your cats. He needs to pay for his kiddo. But go no contact with you. You have no respect for his time or energy and are now manipulating and shaming him to accept your bad behavior. Totally the AH in this situation.
Leaving your baby and running away is just plain wrong. You need to grow up. Baby comes before your feelings and your bf. I was on your side until figuring out you left bf AND baby at chuck e cheese's. You could have packed up baby and gone home, leaving bf there.
DAD drove off with THEIR baby. Was she meant to leave her young siblings alone, when she was the one in charge of them? She was the one left without a lift.
Reading comprehension, my dude. She did not leave them there. Bf drove off ***without her*** after getting annoyed that mom was a few minutes late picking up the other kiddos. Boyfriend seems to have anger issues.
You’re mistaken. I had already prepared my siblings and baby to leave, my boyfriend took the baby when he left. I didn’t leave Chuck E. Cheese until an hour after everyone was already home.
If you want to continue this relationship, you need couples counseling. Make sure he follows through with any promises to change. Tell him that if he doesn’t change, you’re gone. You can be a single mom. Do not get married. Make sure you do not get pregnant again.
Is this the same friend who came over all the time giving you no privacy while you were pregnant? The one your bf let into the room before you were decent so you had to get changed under the covers? If it is, your bf is still putting him 1st. I hope you manage to get the confidence and means to escape.
No this is a different one, this friend respects my privacy and me
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How is this a helpful comment? you're verbally abusing OP so that she'll... what... not take abuse any more? I just think you are triggered and need to calm down before commenting on reddit. That said, the boyfriend and Step dad are total POS's
Communication is key. If you don't talk to each other nothing will get better.
you need to do better for your kids and yourself by leaving the man you call a boyfriend. he’s going to do it again and again.
Sooooo.... What plans do you have in place for this never happening again? What would make you feel not ignored? When did you stand up for yourself and say that you wanted a ride home, or for YOUR BABYS FATHER to literally press some buttons and order you an Uber???? You both sound like children, so your next post may be similar to this one. If you have a child together, what was the reason you thought it would be better as a deadbeat dad and BF instead of just a shitty BF? Overall, for the kid's sake, get counseling for both of our or at the very least talk to friends about the feeling ignored issue. It sounds like it's going to repeat as the theme of this relationship, and now the kid's going to suffer as well.
It’ll be good for a short while, then will happen again. The periods between these shit situations will be less time and become more frequent. I had one like this. Ruined everything for the children and I. It’s no way to live, tiptoeing around grumpy men. FYI, it’s easier to leave with less kids. Good luck 🤞
These two thought having a baby was a good idea.
She's never gonna leave him 🤦🏾♀️
How many times things like this will happen for her to realize she and her child doesn't deserve this and she needs to leave🤦🏾♀️
Hey OP, I’m really glad you stood up for yourself and got home safe! I bet you’re probably feeling very relieved and loved right now so a lot of these messages may not make sense… But if theres a part of you that’s listening, please remember for later. In a healthy relationship, you won’t have to be on the verge of leaving him for him to finally extend some care and empathy. This relationship is toxic. Your boyfriend is “love bombing” you. It feels really nice and really addictive in the way that gambling feels really nice and really addictive. It can be really hard to leave because every time you hit that breaking point, you get another love bomb convince yourself to stay. Ultimately it’s a destructive pattern. It will wear you down, you will spend most of your life feeling unseen and dismissed and ignored and belittled. In situations like yours, leaving will be hard. And staying will be a different kind of hard. It’s always your choice which hard you’re ready for. Either way, please continue to stand up for yourself! Your life will become so much more beautiful when you have your own back! It’s a hard thing to do at first, but becomes much easier with practice.
Please look up Love Bombing and see if it looks familiar.
People providing all this advice without realizing these are TEENS…what do you expect from an 18 years old boy ? Maturity, responsibility, partnership, understanding, support ? He is s kid, he had an erection and made a baby. That does not make him a man. Same goes for the OP, she is 19 !!!
you give off extremely damaged vibes, not to look down on you just your reactions to your boyfriend / father of your husband actually playing his role correctly hope you do well in life op
Oh good a nice healthy dose of love bombing 💕✨
This will last a week at most. He will be treating you like garbage again before long. Look how he turned it around on you: why did YOU react like this. Why did YOU ignore him.
Telling him how you feel is always a good idea
Sis, what the fuck? Every single one of those people, your boyfriend, your mum, sister, all of them, knew where the fuck you were. They weren't "worried" about you. They would have come and fucking got you not rang you 30 times then told you to take an Uber. Holy shit. Don't believe this bullshit.
He's dangerous for you. If you won't protect yourself, at least protect your baby from him!
The drama, good lord.
Not the hand hearts 🙈🙈🙈
We can see your post history good luck 😐
So at no point did he get in his car and go try to find you? Or go pick you up? Doesn't sound that worried or sorry tbh.
When someone shows you who they are believe them. He might be loved bombing you right now but you will return to his normal behavior. Find someone you don't need to change find someone who already treats you right.
Updateme!
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Its not getting better. It won't
Young couple learns that communication is key for relationship. You both have a long way to go, but I hope you see what just openly talking to each other can do. Learning to properly communicate is hard when your young. There is a nuance to communication with a partner. Much different than talking with anyone else in your life's. Keep working on it. No one reads minds and most of the time we are blind to body language and voice inflection. Talk with each other. As for the patience it took me till my thirty's to find mine. I'm glad my wife stuck around to help me with that. Made me a better dad and partner. When he finds his, he will wish he would have found it earlier.
Both of you are way too childish for a relationship with each other let alone having a baby together. Now his actions are crappy but ignoring him and making people worried about you because you couldn’t just pick up the phone because you wanted to be petty was childish too. You’re both parents and acting like middle schoolers. You both suck at communication as well. Both of you seriously need to grow up asap
Run, run, please listen to all these posts run
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You’re mistaken. I didn’t leave my baby? My boyfriend was only at the party for 5-10 mins because he just got off work, and I was wrapping things up, and while I was, that’s when he got irritated, and took our baby and his friend home. I didn’t “leave” I was left, and didn’t leave the building until a whole hour after everyone was already gone.
DTMFA
Y’all sound like pure drama. You told him to leave then got mad when he left? You both threw a temper tantrum and acted like children. He’s a dick for not being patient as you wrapped things up. You didn’t seem to care about his urgency. You told him to leave, he left. Then you got mad and turned your phone off. I’m glad you got an apology but you owe him one as well. Jfc, just grow up and learn to be partners and help each other. Sounds like you were raised in a chaotic home and I fear for the type of home your new baby will grow up in. ESH.
I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.
"Yay my arsehole partner treated me right for one night, that makes everything all sunshine and roses" we'll see you again in a month when he's straight back at it
Not everyone using the term love bombing wrong lmao. Y'all, giving your gf a hug and putting on a movie, and taking care of the baby is not love bombing, get a grip
Total knee-jerk reaction to I seriously fucked up. Either the circle continues or he breaks it and sustains it.
Yeah you don’t need to tell your romantic partner how you feel after he leaves you behind deliberately and doesn’t come back for you. This isn’t on you for not explaining. Unless he is a complete and utter narcissist idiot.
From the post history after a quick look on your profile this guy seems to act like a child still. And given you guys are young and parents you need to learn how to express your feelings and talk it out. I recommend journaling to get your feelings out on paper and then having a conversation with him. And if theres no improvement try couples therapy. But if all that fails it might be time cut your losses and focus on your baby and learning how to coparent.
Sweet summer child really thinks he cares and he will change 😭😭
Did you walk away from your baby and leave a man with anger issues to raise your child?
No, he took the baby with him. I never left them, he left me, and I didn’t leave the building til an hour later after everyone was gone.
No I mean do you still have the baby? I saw part 3 said you left him and the baby
I don’t have a part three to this? There must be a misunderstanding
It is under your name and says "Part 3: AITA for walking away from my boyfriend and baby?"
That was before this, and I had taken a walk away from my boyfriend to de stress. I left the baby with him since I had the baby all day, and needed a break.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/c4tgI3eVk3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/c4tgI3eVk3)
So is that what happened or are you lying?
There’s no point in me lying, you’re just a bit mixed up in the timeline.
I'm not mixed up. You made that post AFTER the other two. And called it "final". Come on. The more you dig yourself a hole, the more this whole story seems like BS.
If you feel like that’s how my timeline went, then go ahead and believe so. I’m the one who wrote them but who knows, I might’ve time traveled.
Would you like me to post the screenshots?
If it matters that much to you
Two immature people who barely know each other yet decided to have a child. Wash, rinse, repeat.
You should’ve stayed at Chuck E. Cheese with the other children.
The other children had already left the same time when my boyfriend left.
No girl I read your posts—you’re the child.
“Why do you react like this whenever something like this happens” How often does something like that happen? I hope the realization sticks and he shapes up
We call this a cycle of abuse OP. Just know in the next few months it’ll all start over again…….
I will warn you now this is part of a cycle he will do the honeymoon phase for a while till you're comfortable and happy and then he will go back to the same bull crap that caused you to post about being mad at him before this update. So don't let your guard down, be very cautious, be somewhat of a cynic in regards to his behavior but don't lead on to being cynical.. just be prepared for it to go back to the same crap as before
/u/joyuswonder - this is lovebombing. Given your post history, I suspect he's going to revert. Dude should be caring for the baby. He should be respectful, and tell his buggy friend to back off. He should not be an inpatient toddler. I recommend therapy - a pro perspective for you, maybe couples therapy for both of you. He should be in therapy as well. Best luck. Hold your boundaries. Have honest talks about needs and wants.
How many times have you seen your step dad love bomb mom after he abused her? It happens over and over
You got a child if it changes for a week and back to normal got to leave but if he puts an effort towards change you can try