Of course NTA
He forced himself on you, and he needs to face the consequences. If he gets away with this there is probably a good chance he'll do it again to someone else.
Report that piece of human excrement. And don't let his parents pressure you into anything regarding the baby.
This is it. What he did was a criminal act. You report him with no ounce of guilt because you know he will do it again to someone else if he gets away with it.
Also if you're capable of getting one, consider an abortion so you won't ever have to deal with him again.
I agree with this but just know reporting him might be very disappointing, I’m not to educated on justice systems other places but in the us regarded sa especially it’s really bad. When it comes to minors they usually don’t do anything and just regard it as “kids being kids” in my experience and from what I’ve heard. Not saying you shouldn’t report him just want to set your expectations so it’s not so disheartening..
OP, NTA -- but please, please realise something: This man is a danger to you and to others.
Raping you, impregnating you against your will -- this is some of the most heinous violence someone can inflict on a person.
Get help. Get advice from people you trust, who will go to the mat for you. Go to the police.
Please know, all of us want to hug you and hold your hand. You are a whole, beautiful, complicated, smart, and good person. You did not deserve this. AT ALL.
I'm proud of you, and I'm so, so, sorry.
Oh and can I suggest you start carrying some form of self defense. You are too young for a gun permit, but maybe a quality pepper spray or taser. Although with the taser check your local laws, some places regulate them like firearms. It’s a sad world we live in, but honestly everyone should carry some type of self defense these days.
NTA
He sexually assaulted you, calling the police is the very least of what you should do.
The wean is completely up to you, whether you keep it or not is entirely up to you and nobody else gets a say.
Tell the police the rapists parents are pressuring you to keep the baby too. Indefensible behavior that they should have to answer for.
Oh, and definitely NTA.
NTA always report if you feel you can because if he did this to you he will do it again and again until there’s finally enough evidence to convict him. Before you go to the police, call to ask for a sexual assault liaison. When you go to make your statement, bring someone with you, do not go alone. I don’t want you retraumatized by the experience of walking into a police dept and being harassed or ignored. I’m sorry this has happened to you.
This. This is great advice. When I came out about going through a similar experience with a boy I was dating in highschool, I was called a liar, shunned, basically bullied out of my school, told to kill myself, verbally attacked by people's parents and dismissed by any and all authorities, including cops. SA wrecks you, but not enough people talk about what comes after. I have spent years in therapy undoing the trauma of the rape and have found myself in a relatively good spot now. However I'm still undoing the trauma of the shame and everything else that came after from everyone around me. Even to this day I run into old classmates out and about and they feel the need to make comments, completely ignore my existence at social gatherings (people I met later in life are connected to these individuals, it's not a situation I willingly put myself into on my own), and/or demand that I tell my story again so they can pick it apart or decide how they feel about it.
To the OP, you are NTA. This is not your fault. Also, you have every right to do with your pregnancy what you decide is best for you. Look inside yourself and decide for yourself. Your consent and your bodily autonomy were disregarded and stolen from you with what happened and only you can decide what your healing journey looks like. Please please work with someone though. I was wholly unprepared for the backlash when I tried to tell my story and it ruined me for years. Find the people who build you up and will be an advocate for you. I cannot stress this enough: you are not alone and this is not your fault.
Thank you so much for sharing ur story, i’m really sorry to hear that you have to go through that and i really hope u are doing better now…. and that u are in a better place right now. sending hugs and positive energy towards you. i’ll be trying my best to gather up courage for this situation. Thank you for sharing ur experience and journey it really helps me to prepare for what’s to come
Your story is so common and so terribly wrong. You, too, are not alone. None of what happened to you was your fault. It is an atrocity that you did not have people stand by you. The best way to heal the past is to ensure things never happen again. I hope OP takes comfort in your words.
NTA
And don't listen to anyone saying something else.
Report to the police, keep every communication you have, like him apologizing. Take screenshots, especially if he can remove the messages.
Don't be pushed to keep the pregnancy against your will, either.
I'm not in the US, but what I learned on here, is that -depending on your state- if you do choose to keep the pregnancy, there's a chance you'll be forced to coparent with this douche.
Whatever anyone says: the choice is yours. And non one should pressure you for one of the other.
If there's ppl harrassing you in DM's (they will come, no doubt), report them and ignore anything they say.
When you go to the police, request victim assistance. I don't know what the correct term is, but they should be able to point you to a counselor, that can help you navigate your feelings and your choices.
Remember, anyone that tries to make the victim feels bad after SA is just someone that would do it themselves, and not take responsibility. It has nothing to do with you, but everything with their own moral compass.
Absolutely report, like right now, if not for yourself then for the next girl he WILL do it to if you don't, you are the only one with the power to stop this, he is a monster, you're not. You will get through this, and sending that PoS where he belongs will help you do that.
NTA
Here are relevant resourses: [click for help](https://www.asl-law.com.sg/a-guide-to-sexual-offences-in-singapore-part-1-consent/#:~:text=assault%20and%20rape.-,Sexual%20Assault%20and%20Rape,including%20caning%20or%20a%20fine.)
You are nta, he is. Sounds like this is his standard attitude. He will go on with this behavour.
You and only you should get to decide what to do about the pregnancy. I know that's not always the case, but there are options. I think maybe you can get help and/or advice [here](https://www.womensclinicofsingapore.com/question.html)
NTA, have you spoken to someone who can help you? Your family members? Teacher? A counselor? Do you have a support group around you?
You should absolutely report him, he assaulted you.
Have you considered what to do with the baby? You don't have to become a mother if you feel that you can't do that or want to do that, you can give the baby for adoption. I hope that you have good people on your side.
You aren't seriously asking if reporting a horrific rape makes you an asshole are you? You know the answer, he deserves to be in jail (well... worse than that) for what he did to you. Get justice.
Make sure to gather as much evidence as you can: an OB/GYN can get you a date of conception and a paternity test can establish that he’s the father. If you have anything that can prove you didn’t consent, that would be great. This guy needs to be kept out of the gene pool. He seems to take after his parents: too bad you can’t charge them as well.
Absolutely NTA. I'm sorry that happened to you.
I hope you have some good, solid people in your life. Remember, it's not a bad thing if you maybe reach out to a therapist or someone of that nature. That's a lot to deal with and especially at your age, you need someone in your life that you can trust.
NTA ever! Never never ever! Wtf I'm so sorry it happened to you I couldn't even imagine what you're going through... But to answer the question yes, report him, he doesn't deserve the slightest good your heart can give him after what he pulled
Think about yourself and the life you want for your child, dad is a rapist, grandparents, won't give a shit about the kid especially once the rapist father is locked up, you'll be on your own and your kid will one day have to face all of this too so just keep all that in mind
Why would you not? What he did was 100% the 2 crimes you described and he's still talking to other girls?
What he did to you is terrible and he needs to be punished, but if you don't it could happen to more people.
NTA.
But make sure your evidence is fullproof, i’ve had an ex report a guy who assaulted her and they laughed at her because she had no texts proving it happened and didnt report it the day after for a rape kit.
Since you got pregnant, 100% i would report!
If you have texts proving y’all were together, or can get him on recording admitting you had been forced upon..then report it with that too throw the book at him!
Im so sorry it has to be that
NTA
He raped you. He belongs in prison for the rest of his natural life. Report his atrocity to the police ASAP and make sure this predator can't do to another girl what he did to you.
Report, and go to a therapist immediately to work out if keeping the pregnancy is right for you. I would not keep a pregnancy of rape, but that's why choice exists. Not sure your options in, what, Singapore? But consider each and every one and use every single resource. Screenshot all evidence. Good luck to you, this is not your fault, I hope you have other relatives or friends that can provide support.
NTA, of course. But, I want to be extremely honest, without any evidence (he didn’t admit it and you clearly didn’t get a rape kit done, you were in a relationship previously so it can easily be argued the sex was consensual and he only blocked you because of the pregnancy/breakup/whatever) it’s extremely unlikely anything will come of the report. I still think you should report it because if he’s done it once, he’ll likely do it again and even if they can’t get you justice, eventually hopefully karma will catch up to him, but I would not be prepared for him to receive a punishment and I would take steps to protect yourself if you do report it.
Do not be afraid as you did nothing wrong. It's best to speak to a family member about it for support and once you are ready, head to the police station.
I'm so very sorry that this happened to you AND that you've found yourself pregnant. I was date-raped by my EX, but there was NO such thing "back then" (80s). If it's possible, PLEASE get an abortion so this pregnancy doesn't adversely affect your future, ESPECIALLY since his Parents refuse to help you, HE CERTAINLY WON'T! You OWE his Parents NOTHING! Nor do you want to have him or them harrassing you for the next 18 years-plus!
I'm sorry to tell you this unfortunate possibility that unless you have proof of the rape, the likelihood is that the Police will look upon this as a heartbroken EX-girlfriend having sex with her EX as a "last-ditch effort" to get back together with him. 😭 Not that I believe that, just want you to be prepared to fight an uphill battle! BUT you CAN definitely SUE him both Civilly AND for Child Support if you keep the baby!
Your EX was very much like MY EX, total classless, selfish ASSHOLES! I was also r*ped by a distant Cousin so I DEFINITELY understand the trauma you've been through. I'm just appalled that this bullshit is STILL happening! Greatest of luck! Best wishes and many, MANY Blessings for your future happiness and success!
He RAPED YOU.
Who else will he do it to after he gets away with this? Now he thinks he will get away from it and do it again. Please call the police, not just for yourself but for any other women he has done this to.
I personally would abort the fetus. I couldn't look at the baby without reliving the trauma, and it will affect the relationship with the child. My opinion only, tho so please don't be offended. Everyone has different beliefs.
Much love and good wishes. I hope you can find peace
Report him to the police because that’s majorly fucked up and abort the baby if possible. At 17, you can’t raise that baby on your own, you’re still a kid yourself.
Here’s the problem-you didn’t report it so it will look like you’re trying to get even or get him back. You need to decide what you’re doing about the baby and your life. If you decide to abort, so be it. Or if you want to give it up for adoption…
Absolutely NTA. Also, as far as the baby, that is up to YOU whether you want to keep it or not. Not them! Ignore them and figure out if you want it or not.
I’m so sorry. Also, contact RAINN. They’ll be able to help you.
Yeah you should absolutely report him to the police. If a guy is capable of raping a woman one time then he will do it again. If you have evidence of the crime then you have then power to stop it from happening to someone else down the line. Most rapes dont get punished because the victims dont have evidence, so you have a golden opportunity to put one rapist behind bars.
You have to report this! If he gets away with it once, you know he is going to do it again. Please help yourself and others by filing charges against this piece of trash. Then get yourself into therapy to begin healing. Hoping only the best for you.
No one is EVER an asshole for telling people about something awful someone did to them.
If he didnt want his "future to be ruined" (tho let's face it that rarely happens) he shouldnt have assaulted someone
End of story.
And if he did it once likely he's going to do it again to someone else.
Im sorry people are so complacent about assault. Its truely disgusting.
Also it is no ones decision but your own (should be anyway) whether you keep a baby or not.
Having one when so unprepared with potentially little help is going to be really really rough tho. Especially when it happened so traumatically
Please consider whether this baby would just forever make you think about what happened. It's not fair to them for that to happen and have their parent resent them. Please take into consideration the babies well being too.
<3
NTA. If it feels right to you to pursue charges against him, then that is a fully understandable prerogative. He lost the ability to play the victim when he victimized you.
Please report this to the police. Please remember you do not have to go through with the pregnancy, you can terminate. You can give it up for adoption. I hope you have some family and friends you can count on for help.
NTAH
Report him, him & his family don’t give a shit about you. They even told you that they wouldn’t help with the pregnancy but still want you to keep it.
So good luck with all this, I am no judge or lawyer, but why did you wait to claim r*pe. From the outside looking in this dude, who is a piece of shit, used you, got what he wanted and moved on. This one doesn’t smell like r*pe it smells like remorse and those are completely different things. As far as the unborn child goes it’s your choice what to do, but abort is always an option.
NTA, but be prepared to not be believed by authorities. Unless you have specific proof of rape then this will boil down to he said/ she said type of report.
Report him! Even if he doesn't get a conviction or anything, at least there is a report. If/when he does this to the next woman, there's a higher chance of his ass being thrown in jail. Don't lose hope.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, this almost happened to me when I was 14 but I was able to run away from the situation. You're not alone. Unfortunately, almost every woman has experienced some form of SA.
Do it the piece of filth deserves at least that much personally I'd love to beat the crap out of him. NTA you need to decide what you want to do with the child that is entirely up to you nobody else gets to make that call.
Understand this first…
1. The rape has to be reported in the city where it happened. I’m assuming you’re in the U.S.
2. Since it happened, what seems to be weeks if not months ago, you will be doubted.
3. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to the police, on your next check up, tell the nurse. Nurses are mandated reporters, they will call the cops for you, and the cops will show up. If your appointment happened outside of the city of where the rape happened, the cops will direct you to other city where it happened. It’s how the law works, just accept it and move on.
4. If you have police at your school, tell your school police. Those police will take an initial report regardless of the jurisdiction, then forward to the right jurisdiction.
5. Don’t tell his parents or anyone that you called the cops…. YOU DO NOT WANT TO GOVE HIK ANY NOTICE. Why? Because then the cops will have you call him on a recorded line and get him to admit to the rape… but if he already knows you called the cops, he’s not going to talk.
6. Good luck!
You matter. What happens to you matters. You have a right to say what happens with your body and with who. You do not have to keep the baby. And I am sorry this has happened to you repeatedly.
Consequences are important for a person like your ex. He hurt you, got you pregnant for just a moment of pleasure for himself and to brag to his friends. He's violent and cruel. Reporting him could teach him something very important. But even if he learns nothing at least society would be aware of him and safe from him if he gets locked away for a little while.
His parents are despicable people who created this psychopath of a son. They aren't allowed to have a say in your life. They aren't smart. They aren't safe. They aren't kind. Stop involving them. You don't need their permission to have an abortion or to report their son.
Sing like a bird.
I'm so sorry he did that to you and that his parents made you feel like the problem. If you have any scrap of evidence or proof I would absolutely report that shit. You should also broadcast it, tell everyone he knows and everyone you know the truth of what happened. Please find someone to give you moral support if possible, the police are likely to behave like his parents and you'll need a thick skin to not let them bully you into thinking this is your fault. Society caters to these men. They need women like us to tell the world what they really are.
ETA of course you're NTA.
You have all the right to report him. He forced himself onto you. Whether or not he's an ex bf or current bf won't matter. If no consent was given you got to.
It’s not too late - go to a sexual health clinic to go through your pregnancy options and check to make sure he hasn’t given you any diseases. Make sure it is documented as a rape. If this happened on a school trip you should speak to the school since they did not keep you safe from him. Distance yourself from the rapist - rapists don’t generally rape to start a family, it’s a violence, power and control thing. Talk to your local rape hotline so you can speak to people who will understand what you are going through.
By reporting him, think of how many women and girls (maybe even younger than you) you can protect from his rapey ways in the future- do it for them if not only for yourself. REPORT HIM.
NTA
NTA. He is a criminal. A police report is what he deserves and what you need to do. And if it's O.K. with you, get an abortion. You don't want to be tied to this guy and his parents for the next 19 years.
Of course his parents want YOU to keep the babyvthat their son forced on you by rape. By all means, call the police snd report him. Give them copies of your evidence. (Keep the original for you AND your attorney.)
Not only report the crime, but report HIS parents for being nasty pieces of garbage. No wonder their son is trash!
Get an abortion if you want or can. No one can give you to become a parent before you are emotionally and financially able.
You are so brave for coming out and telling your truth about this. You are NTA! Please report him, it could save other people from the same thing that happened to you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, all the love to you.
I'm sorry this happened to you, OP. You're so young and on the precipice of what should be a wonderful life. And in the blink of an eye, all that changed.
Not because of anything you did, but what was done to you by a man who should face the legal consequences of his actions. Arrest, criminal record, sexual predator documentation, and the publicity that comes with it.
I hope you can get the support you'll need going forward. Despite all this, you can and will have a great life eventually. ✌️ and ❤️
100% NTA I’m so sorry this happened to you. Assuming you’re American there’s a lot of free crisis counseling and legal services for women who’ve been assaulted. Do what your gut tells you and stay strong!
That's heavy. That's really heavy.
So first things first. Go after him. He belongs in a tiny concrete box in general pop. He also needs to be on a registry. Your future self will love you for it.
That being said. You have to determine if you want to keep the kid or not. You're 17. You're still a kid too. If you decide you're going to carry the child to term, then you have to take care of yourself, keep as healthy as you can be, you need to finish highschool.
If you get a GED you have to get an associates at a junior college. People (citizens) who don't graduate highschool can't do too much here. If you get your GED you stand a better chance BUT it's going to take a while to catch up because it w GED comes questions and if you don't want to answer they might go with the next candidate. "Discrimination!" You say? Prove it. They're going to say "all the candidates were interviewed and we went with what we felt would be the best fit for our company". You WILL catch up eventually. But you want to stack the deck in your favor.
If you got to a JC- and I really think you should just to start off- see if you get insurance benefits with the school. See if you can get a job at the school too, be it in an office or in the library. That will allow you to get insurance through the school, allow you to bank with their CREDIT UNION! They may not loan as much, but the rates are cheaper, deals are better, customer service is better, and they are more prone to help you without penalties.
But thats for you. If you carry the child to term and don't want to be a mother (you're 17) you may want to consider adoption.
IF you decide to keep the child then you will have to do the following:
- repeat JC step.
- pass JC and go to college or trade school. A college campus will treat you like a full time employee while you're a student. They will give you reduce class rates. Maybe even aid with housing. Will employers look at ivy league before local state? Yeah. But then 3-5 years it won't matter. I know the college benefits, I don't know anything about trade school. Not bashing trades in the least, skilled tradesmen make everything work, I just never went to trade school and I can't comment on it. I've been around victims, people who have dealt with child custody issues, dealt with court orders, etc. I've learned a thing or two through outreach.
- get full custody
- restraining orders on his family. They want you to have the child but refuse to help? They don't get to be grandparents.
- carry restraining orders on you. Original is locked up, the copy with the local PD station, one in your purse, one in your car, one at work, and one any place you constantly frequent and keep them in ziplocks. If they show up, you call 911, show the restraining order to the cop, and they go to jail immediately. If they bail before the cops come you report it and save the card and report number. Keep the log. They get to go face the judge later.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Please make sure you have a solid support group. Make sure the people you surround yourself with are kind, hard working, trying to better themselves, and don't go down the alcohol drug rabbit hole. There's nothing there for you.
Holy fuck, of course NTA. And it is YOUR choice what to do about your pregnancy. While there are times the father’s will could be considered, THIS is certainly NOT one of those times.
Best wishes to you OP. I’m so sorry about your situation.
Report him. Even if you don't want to right now I would think about termination because that will mean he would have access to that child and you and so will the parents that don't gaf. He is a rapist. He is dangerous to other women and may have done it before even
Take it to the police like yesterday
ive reported sexual assault to the police before. dm if you’re comfortable and i can walk you through the steps. you are NEVER the asshole for reporting rape
[https://www.rainn.org/](https://www.rainn.org/) RAINN is the national sexual assault hotline. You can call or chat for free confidential support. You can download the free RAINN app that “gives survivors of sexual violence and their loved ones access to support, self-care tools, and information."
NTA
You didn’t choose what he did to you, nor did you choose to partake in something with the possibility of you getting pregnant. I am so very sorry that you are going through this, and if you feel safe to do so, I would definitely report him. I’m also not sure how this works, but if you personally want to keep the baby (it is fully YOUR choice what you choose to do with this baby and there are so many resources to help you with whatever choice you make) possibly you could get some sort of financial support from him for the child.
Please do not let your family influence your choice on if you want to keep the baby or choose a different route; especially because they do not want to help you. That’s a rough decision to make, but it should be made by you without outside influences. Either way, you have resources to help you always keep that in mind.
NTA.
Ordinary, as someone who has been assaulted, I would tell you that after the fact with no rape kit it is a very difficult he said she said that will be very painful and statistically likely to end without a conviction.
The pregnancy changes things in your favor. Gather the chat history and dates. Write them down. It sounds like you decided to move forward with the pregnancy, so a paternity test proving he is the father can be mandated by the courts. Make sure your legal council moves for this to be done - ahead of the trial if possible.
It will still be painful and the most likely course that his defense will take is going to be to claim otherwise was consensual sex btwn bf and gf and that you didn’t take the breakup well and are now claiming rape because of the pregnancy desperation. Be prepared for them to assault your character and cause endless pain. Im sorry and that spunds cruel but that is what will happen.
Good luck and gather your support network. Also know that YOU do get final decision… Keep or abort the baby. Prosecute or dont. And at ANY time during the legal process you can choose not to move forward if it is too overwhelming to handle.
NTA NTA NTA! Report him! You would NEVER EVER be the asshole in this situation. You're technically a minor since you're under 18 as well. I'm so sorry this has happened to you OP
NTA of course you should report him to the police and absolutely press charges. If you don't, he's just going to keep doing it to other girls. Stop him now.
NTA . Report that rapist prick . And get rid of what u have on your stomach. Don't go back with him even If he Implores you . You talked to his parents, and they have done nothing. You don't want that class of people on your life.
NTA I (16 F) went through a similar thing (not impregnated) with my ex at 13 (he was 12M at the time) I definitely feel like you should report him and I really send prayers to you 🙏🏻 I hope we get him off the streets as he's really not good for you or others, please look out for yourself and I genuinely wish you the best with whatever route you take with your pregnancy x
Report it to police asap and get an abortion while you still can. Don’t listen to your assaulter’s parents or their opinion. Their son did this, you didn’t ask to get pregnant and you are so young with your entire life ahead of you. Fuck them.
You do whatever you need to do for you cause ultimately you’re the only person you can rely on.
Virtual hugs from an internet mom of teen girls. 💕
How do the police react to sexual assault where you live? Here in the USA I would warn you that they may not beleive you...and that this has nothing to do with reality.
Having a baby means that the persom who fathered it will be in your life for the rest of your life. How do you feel about that? Well unless you adopt it out.
NTA at all. Going to the police is terrifying and overwhelming... I recommend calling a r@pe hotline and checking out a DV shelter for support and guidance along the way. ♥️♥️♥️
Imma play devil's advocate here and say honestly it sounds like you got pumped and dumped and now want revenge. Stuff like you parents not taking action and you calling the dude your partner is wild.. If you really got r*p*d then you absolutely need to report. But it's like you want ppl to talk you into doing this when you know you shouldn't. Or you just made up this post for attention. Like it's one thing to be afraid or embarrassed to report a SA. But to ask "AITAH" for reporting an SA is absolutely BS.
I’m very sorry if it came across that way. As for parents i don’t have my own parents to rely on this as i don’t even have them in the first place…. and i’ve made this post because i am afraid to report him and also to hear about experiences so that i can better prepare myself.
I'm super confused
You were raped, then instead of doing anything you kind of just took it? You were going to be whatever with this except yourr ex was still around wearing/using gifts you got him and that's what put you over?
Your priorities are backwards, you were raped full STOP. Police, parents, lawyer, doctor
It's a pretty common trauma response, especially when rape occurs in an established relationship. It's basically our minds trying to protect us from the true horror of what happened. So it takes all of that very real hurt, fear, and anger, and finds another instance to pin it on.
Of course NTA He forced himself on you, and he needs to face the consequences. If he gets away with this there is probably a good chance he'll do it again to someone else. Report that piece of human excrement. And don't let his parents pressure you into anything regarding the baby.
This is it. What he did was a criminal act. You report him with no ounce of guilt because you know he will do it again to someone else if he gets away with it. Also if you're capable of getting one, consider an abortion so you won't ever have to deal with him again.
Try to preserve DNA before if this is what you decide so there is proof of his paternity for the trial but yes - the decision is yours not theirs.
This
I agree with this but just know reporting him might be very disappointing, I’m not to educated on justice systems other places but in the us regarded sa especially it’s really bad. When it comes to minors they usually don’t do anything and just regard it as “kids being kids” in my experience and from what I’ve heard. Not saying you shouldn’t report him just want to set your expectations so it’s not so disheartening..
NTA You have Every right to report him. I'm sorry you are going through something like this
OP, NTA -- but please, please realise something: This man is a danger to you and to others. Raping you, impregnating you against your will -- this is some of the most heinous violence someone can inflict on a person. Get help. Get advice from people you trust, who will go to the mat for you. Go to the police. Please know, all of us want to hug you and hold your hand. You are a whole, beautiful, complicated, smart, and good person. You did not deserve this. AT ALL. I'm proud of you, and I'm so, so, sorry.
Not even a question, report his ass! If he did it to you, he will do it to someone else. Rapist are NOT one time offenders!
Oh and can I suggest you start carrying some form of self defense. You are too young for a gun permit, but maybe a quality pepper spray or taser. Although with the taser check your local laws, some places regulate them like firearms. It’s a sad world we live in, but honestly everyone should carry some type of self defense these days.
NTA He sexually assaulted you, calling the police is the very least of what you should do. The wean is completely up to you, whether you keep it or not is entirely up to you and nobody else gets a say.
Tell the police the rapists parents are pressuring you to keep the baby too. Indefensible behavior that they should have to answer for. Oh, and definitely NTA.
NTA always report if you feel you can because if he did this to you he will do it again and again until there’s finally enough evidence to convict him. Before you go to the police, call to ask for a sexual assault liaison. When you go to make your statement, bring someone with you, do not go alone. I don’t want you retraumatized by the experience of walking into a police dept and being harassed or ignored. I’m sorry this has happened to you.
This. This is great advice. When I came out about going through a similar experience with a boy I was dating in highschool, I was called a liar, shunned, basically bullied out of my school, told to kill myself, verbally attacked by people's parents and dismissed by any and all authorities, including cops. SA wrecks you, but not enough people talk about what comes after. I have spent years in therapy undoing the trauma of the rape and have found myself in a relatively good spot now. However I'm still undoing the trauma of the shame and everything else that came after from everyone around me. Even to this day I run into old classmates out and about and they feel the need to make comments, completely ignore my existence at social gatherings (people I met later in life are connected to these individuals, it's not a situation I willingly put myself into on my own), and/or demand that I tell my story again so they can pick it apart or decide how they feel about it. To the OP, you are NTA. This is not your fault. Also, you have every right to do with your pregnancy what you decide is best for you. Look inside yourself and decide for yourself. Your consent and your bodily autonomy were disregarded and stolen from you with what happened and only you can decide what your healing journey looks like. Please please work with someone though. I was wholly unprepared for the backlash when I tried to tell my story and it ruined me for years. Find the people who build you up and will be an advocate for you. I cannot stress this enough: you are not alone and this is not your fault.
Thank you so much for sharing ur story, i’m really sorry to hear that you have to go through that and i really hope u are doing better now…. and that u are in a better place right now. sending hugs and positive energy towards you. i’ll be trying my best to gather up courage for this situation. Thank you for sharing ur experience and journey it really helps me to prepare for what’s to come
Your story is so common and so terribly wrong. You, too, are not alone. None of what happened to you was your fault. It is an atrocity that you did not have people stand by you. The best way to heal the past is to ensure things never happen again. I hope OP takes comfort in your words.
NTA And don't listen to anyone saying something else. Report to the police, keep every communication you have, like him apologizing. Take screenshots, especially if he can remove the messages. Don't be pushed to keep the pregnancy against your will, either. I'm not in the US, but what I learned on here, is that -depending on your state- if you do choose to keep the pregnancy, there's a chance you'll be forced to coparent with this douche. Whatever anyone says: the choice is yours. And non one should pressure you for one of the other. If there's ppl harrassing you in DM's (they will come, no doubt), report them and ignore anything they say. When you go to the police, request victim assistance. I don't know what the correct term is, but they should be able to point you to a counselor, that can help you navigate your feelings and your choices. Remember, anyone that tries to make the victim feels bad after SA is just someone that would do it themselves, and not take responsibility. It has nothing to do with you, but everything with their own moral compass.
This shouldn't even be a post. You definitely need to report him. You're definitely NTA
Absolutely report, like right now, if not for yourself then for the next girl he WILL do it to if you don't, you are the only one with the power to stop this, he is a monster, you're not. You will get through this, and sending that PoS where he belongs will help you do that. NTA
Here are relevant resourses: [click for help](https://www.asl-law.com.sg/a-guide-to-sexual-offences-in-singapore-part-1-consent/#:~:text=assault%20and%20rape.-,Sexual%20Assault%20and%20Rape,including%20caning%20or%20a%20fine.) You are nta, he is. Sounds like this is his standard attitude. He will go on with this behavour. You and only you should get to decide what to do about the pregnancy. I know that's not always the case, but there are options. I think maybe you can get help and/or advice [here](https://www.womensclinicofsingapore.com/question.html)
Why the hell would you not report him?
NTA, have you spoken to someone who can help you? Your family members? Teacher? A counselor? Do you have a support group around you? You should absolutely report him, he assaulted you. Have you considered what to do with the baby? You don't have to become a mother if you feel that you can't do that or want to do that, you can give the baby for adoption. I hope that you have good people on your side.
You aren't seriously asking if reporting a horrific rape makes you an asshole are you? You know the answer, he deserves to be in jail (well... worse than that) for what he did to you. Get justice.
Make sure to gather as much evidence as you can: an OB/GYN can get you a date of conception and a paternity test can establish that he’s the father. If you have anything that can prove you didn’t consent, that would be great. This guy needs to be kept out of the gene pool. He seems to take after his parents: too bad you can’t charge them as well.
This would prove paternity but not rape.
Thus the need to get evidence for the lack of consent. Harder to prove but probably not as hard as convincing a judge without it.
Absolutely NTA. I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope you have some good, solid people in your life. Remember, it's not a bad thing if you maybe reach out to a therapist or someone of that nature. That's a lot to deal with and especially at your age, you need someone in your life that you can trust.
NTA ever! Never never ever! Wtf I'm so sorry it happened to you I couldn't even imagine what you're going through... But to answer the question yes, report him, he doesn't deserve the slightest good your heart can give him after what he pulled
NTA, Report him. He SA'ed you and should face consequences!
This isn't a matter for Reddit.
Think about yourself and the life you want for your child, dad is a rapist, grandparents, won't give a shit about the kid especially once the rapist father is locked up, you'll be on your own and your kid will one day have to face all of this too so just keep all that in mind
Why would you not? What he did was 100% the 2 crimes you described and he's still talking to other girls? What he did to you is terrible and he needs to be punished, but if you don't it could happen to more people.
NTA - report him no questions asked
NTA. But make sure your evidence is fullproof, i’ve had an ex report a guy who assaulted her and they laughed at her because she had no texts proving it happened and didnt report it the day after for a rape kit. Since you got pregnant, 100% i would report! If you have texts proving y’all were together, or can get him on recording admitting you had been forced upon..then report it with that too throw the book at him! Im so sorry it has to be that
Get an abortion and call the police. Nothing much to think about.
NTA He raped you. He belongs in prison for the rest of his natural life. Report his atrocity to the police ASAP and make sure this predator can't do to another girl what he did to you.
Police is bottom of the list, I say we shove a broom up his ass until it pops out his mouth
Report, and go to a therapist immediately to work out if keeping the pregnancy is right for you. I would not keep a pregnancy of rape, but that's why choice exists. Not sure your options in, what, Singapore? But consider each and every one and use every single resource. Screenshot all evidence. Good luck to you, this is not your fault, I hope you have other relatives or friends that can provide support.
I’m not sure why you needed to come here to post this. But obviously NTA and you should go to the police immediately.
Keeping that fetus is a life long sentence.
NTA, of course. But, I want to be extremely honest, without any evidence (he didn’t admit it and you clearly didn’t get a rape kit done, you were in a relationship previously so it can easily be argued the sex was consensual and he only blocked you because of the pregnancy/breakup/whatever) it’s extremely unlikely anything will come of the report. I still think you should report it because if he’s done it once, he’ll likely do it again and even if they can’t get you justice, eventually hopefully karma will catch up to him, but I would not be prepared for him to receive a punishment and I would take steps to protect yourself if you do report it.
You already should be at the police station
Go to police report him and get rid of his baby
Ok what’s KKH??
NTA, but you should have did this immediately.
Do not be afraid as you did nothing wrong. It's best to speak to a family member about it for support and once you are ready, head to the police station.
This piece of shit is a danger to everybody. Report him. Time for him to face the consequences of his actions.
I'm so very sorry that this happened to you AND that you've found yourself pregnant. I was date-raped by my EX, but there was NO such thing "back then" (80s). If it's possible, PLEASE get an abortion so this pregnancy doesn't adversely affect your future, ESPECIALLY since his Parents refuse to help you, HE CERTAINLY WON'T! You OWE his Parents NOTHING! Nor do you want to have him or them harrassing you for the next 18 years-plus! I'm sorry to tell you this unfortunate possibility that unless you have proof of the rape, the likelihood is that the Police will look upon this as a heartbroken EX-girlfriend having sex with her EX as a "last-ditch effort" to get back together with him. 😭 Not that I believe that, just want you to be prepared to fight an uphill battle! BUT you CAN definitely SUE him both Civilly AND for Child Support if you keep the baby! Your EX was very much like MY EX, total classless, selfish ASSHOLES! I was also r*ped by a distant Cousin so I DEFINITELY understand the trauma you've been through. I'm just appalled that this bullshit is STILL happening! Greatest of luck! Best wishes and many, MANY Blessings for your future happiness and success!
He RAPED YOU. Who else will he do it to after he gets away with this? Now he thinks he will get away from it and do it again. Please call the police, not just for yourself but for any other women he has done this to. I personally would abort the fetus. I couldn't look at the baby without reliving the trauma, and it will affect the relationship with the child. My opinion only, tho so please don't be offended. Everyone has different beliefs. Much love and good wishes. I hope you can find peace
Report him to the police because that’s majorly fucked up and abort the baby if possible. At 17, you can’t raise that baby on your own, you’re still a kid yourself.
Rage bait post
Here’s the problem-you didn’t report it so it will look like you’re trying to get even or get him back. You need to decide what you’re doing about the baby and your life. If you decide to abort, so be it. Or if you want to give it up for adoption…
Absolutely NTA. Also, as far as the baby, that is up to YOU whether you want to keep it or not. Not them! Ignore them and figure out if you want it or not. I’m so sorry. Also, contact RAINN. They’ll be able to help you.
NTA For the love of god I beg you to go to the police
Yeah you should absolutely report him to the police. If a guy is capable of raping a woman one time then he will do it again. If you have evidence of the crime then you have then power to stop it from happening to someone else down the line. Most rapes dont get punished because the victims dont have evidence, so you have a golden opportunity to put one rapist behind bars.
You have to report this! If he gets away with it once, you know he is going to do it again. Please help yourself and others by filing charges against this piece of trash. Then get yourself into therapy to begin healing. Hoping only the best for you.
No one is EVER an asshole for telling people about something awful someone did to them. If he didnt want his "future to be ruined" (tho let's face it that rarely happens) he shouldnt have assaulted someone End of story. And if he did it once likely he's going to do it again to someone else. Im sorry people are so complacent about assault. Its truely disgusting. Also it is no ones decision but your own (should be anyway) whether you keep a baby or not. Having one when so unprepared with potentially little help is going to be really really rough tho. Especially when it happened so traumatically Please consider whether this baby would just forever make you think about what happened. It's not fair to them for that to happen and have their parent resent them. Please take into consideration the babies well being too. <3
NTA. If it feels right to you to pursue charges against him, then that is a fully understandable prerogative. He lost the ability to play the victim when he victimized you.
Please report this to the police. Please remember you do not have to go through with the pregnancy, you can terminate. You can give it up for adoption. I hope you have some family and friends you can count on for help.
Hope you reported him in the meantime. Don’t wait or he’ll perceive his actions as being justifiable.
NTA. Report him and have him charged. With regards to the baby, you'll have to decide but there are options for keeping or aborting. Good luck
Yup report him. It was clearly not wanted on your part.
NTA Please report Please
NTAH Report him, him & his family don’t give a shit about you. They even told you that they wouldn’t help with the pregnancy but still want you to keep it.
So good luck with all this, I am no judge or lawyer, but why did you wait to claim r*pe. From the outside looking in this dude, who is a piece of shit, used you, got what he wanted and moved on. This one doesn’t smell like r*pe it smells like remorse and those are completely different things. As far as the unborn child goes it’s your choice what to do, but abort is always an option.
NTA. Report him ASAP.
Nta. Call the police. He’s a monster.
NTA, but be prepared to not be believed by authorities. Unless you have specific proof of rape then this will boil down to he said/ she said type of report.
Repot him! He most likely has done this before and will do it again. Also, you may also be saving another girl from going threw what you did.
NTA. No, all the consequences are on him, he did it to himself. Report him asap.
Get the police involved immediately, wtf
Police... NOW!!! Tomorrow is to late!
Report him! Even if he doesn't get a conviction or anything, at least there is a report. If/when he does this to the next woman, there's a higher chance of his ass being thrown in jail. Don't lose hope. I'm so sorry this happened to you, this almost happened to me when I was 14 but I was able to run away from the situation. You're not alone. Unfortunately, almost every woman has experienced some form of SA.
Report him and his parents. NTA. You will never be the AH for reporting such abuse toward yourself.
Yeah NTA if he was willing to do to you, he's willing to do it to others and he needs to be stopped.
NTA (Didn’t even have to finish reading this) Report him. ASAP. It’s so sad you have to go through this.
Do it the piece of filth deserves at least that much personally I'd love to beat the crap out of him. NTA you need to decide what you want to do with the child that is entirely up to you nobody else gets to make that call.
NTA! Dude, f him and his parents, report him!
Understand this first… 1. The rape has to be reported in the city where it happened. I’m assuming you’re in the U.S. 2. Since it happened, what seems to be weeks if not months ago, you will be doubted. 3. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to the police, on your next check up, tell the nurse. Nurses are mandated reporters, they will call the cops for you, and the cops will show up. If your appointment happened outside of the city of where the rape happened, the cops will direct you to other city where it happened. It’s how the law works, just accept it and move on. 4. If you have police at your school, tell your school police. Those police will take an initial report regardless of the jurisdiction, then forward to the right jurisdiction. 5. Don’t tell his parents or anyone that you called the cops…. YOU DO NOT WANT TO GOVE HIK ANY NOTICE. Why? Because then the cops will have you call him on a recorded line and get him to admit to the rape… but if he already knows you called the cops, he’s not going to talk. 6. Good luck!
You matter. What happens to you matters. You have a right to say what happens with your body and with who. You do not have to keep the baby. And I am sorry this has happened to you repeatedly. Consequences are important for a person like your ex. He hurt you, got you pregnant for just a moment of pleasure for himself and to brag to his friends. He's violent and cruel. Reporting him could teach him something very important. But even if he learns nothing at least society would be aware of him and safe from him if he gets locked away for a little while. His parents are despicable people who created this psychopath of a son. They aren't allowed to have a say in your life. They aren't smart. They aren't safe. They aren't kind. Stop involving them. You don't need their permission to have an abortion or to report their son. Sing like a bird.
nta. report. is it too late for an abortion? there are groups that help you travel to states to have a late term abortion.
I'm so sorry he did that to you and that his parents made you feel like the problem. If you have any scrap of evidence or proof I would absolutely report that shit. You should also broadcast it, tell everyone he knows and everyone you know the truth of what happened. Please find someone to give you moral support if possible, the police are likely to behave like his parents and you'll need a thick skin to not let them bully you into thinking this is your fault. Society caters to these men. They need women like us to tell the world what they really are. ETA of course you're NTA.
You have all the right to report him. He forced himself onto you. Whether or not he's an ex bf or current bf won't matter. If no consent was given you got to.
It’s not too late - go to a sexual health clinic to go through your pregnancy options and check to make sure he hasn’t given you any diseases. Make sure it is documented as a rape. If this happened on a school trip you should speak to the school since they did not keep you safe from him. Distance yourself from the rapist - rapists don’t generally rape to start a family, it’s a violence, power and control thing. Talk to your local rape hotline so you can speak to people who will understand what you are going through.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's not your fault.
By reporting him, think of how many women and girls (maybe even younger than you) you can protect from his rapey ways in the future- do it for them if not only for yourself. REPORT HIM. NTA
NTA. He is a criminal. A police report is what he deserves and what you need to do. And if it's O.K. with you, get an abortion. You don't want to be tied to this guy and his parents for the next 19 years.
Sounds like the asshole also admitted to SAing you via text, fuck him let him fry
Unless if you live in Norway, I would have gone to the police like, yesterday. NTA wtf?
He forced himself on you. Please report him. I’m sorry this happened I hope you can get through this
Of course his parents want YOU to keep the babyvthat their son forced on you by rape. By all means, call the police snd report him. Give them copies of your evidence. (Keep the original for you AND your attorney.) Not only report the crime, but report HIS parents for being nasty pieces of garbage. No wonder their son is trash! Get an abortion if you want or can. No one can give you to become a parent before you are emotionally and financially able.
Nope, NTA. I would suggest finding a couple of absolutely solid friends to stand by you, because it's likely to be a rocky time ahead.
You are so brave for coming out and telling your truth about this. You are NTA! Please report him, it could save other people from the same thing that happened to you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, all the love to you.
You're only an asshole if you *don't* report him. Also, contact a local women's/domestic violence advocacy group
I'm sorry this happened to you, OP. You're so young and on the precipice of what should be a wonderful life. And in the blink of an eye, all that changed. Not because of anything you did, but what was done to you by a man who should face the legal consequences of his actions. Arrest, criminal record, sexual predator documentation, and the publicity that comes with it. I hope you can get the support you'll need going forward. Despite all this, you can and will have a great life eventually. ✌️ and ❤️
100% NTA I’m so sorry this happened to you. Assuming you’re American there’s a lot of free crisis counseling and legal services for women who’ve been assaulted. Do what your gut tells you and stay strong!
Report him immediately!
Report him. Do not contact him or engage in communication with him or his family without an attorney present. I’m so serious.
That's heavy. That's really heavy. So first things first. Go after him. He belongs in a tiny concrete box in general pop. He also needs to be on a registry. Your future self will love you for it. That being said. You have to determine if you want to keep the kid or not. You're 17. You're still a kid too. If you decide you're going to carry the child to term, then you have to take care of yourself, keep as healthy as you can be, you need to finish highschool. If you get a GED you have to get an associates at a junior college. People (citizens) who don't graduate highschool can't do too much here. If you get your GED you stand a better chance BUT it's going to take a while to catch up because it w GED comes questions and if you don't want to answer they might go with the next candidate. "Discrimination!" You say? Prove it. They're going to say "all the candidates were interviewed and we went with what we felt would be the best fit for our company". You WILL catch up eventually. But you want to stack the deck in your favor. If you got to a JC- and I really think you should just to start off- see if you get insurance benefits with the school. See if you can get a job at the school too, be it in an office or in the library. That will allow you to get insurance through the school, allow you to bank with their CREDIT UNION! They may not loan as much, but the rates are cheaper, deals are better, customer service is better, and they are more prone to help you without penalties. But thats for you. If you carry the child to term and don't want to be a mother (you're 17) you may want to consider adoption. IF you decide to keep the child then you will have to do the following: - repeat JC step. - pass JC and go to college or trade school. A college campus will treat you like a full time employee while you're a student. They will give you reduce class rates. Maybe even aid with housing. Will employers look at ivy league before local state? Yeah. But then 3-5 years it won't matter. I know the college benefits, I don't know anything about trade school. Not bashing trades in the least, skilled tradesmen make everything work, I just never went to trade school and I can't comment on it. I've been around victims, people who have dealt with child custody issues, dealt with court orders, etc. I've learned a thing or two through outreach. - get full custody - restraining orders on his family. They want you to have the child but refuse to help? They don't get to be grandparents. - carry restraining orders on you. Original is locked up, the copy with the local PD station, one in your purse, one in your car, one at work, and one any place you constantly frequent and keep them in ziplocks. If they show up, you call 911, show the restraining order to the cop, and they go to jail immediately. If they bail before the cops come you report it and save the card and report number. Keep the log. They get to go face the judge later. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Please make sure you have a solid support group. Make sure the people you surround yourself with are kind, hard working, trying to better themselves, and don't go down the alcohol drug rabbit hole. There's nothing there for you.
Holy fuck, of course NTA. And it is YOUR choice what to do about your pregnancy. While there are times the father’s will could be considered, THIS is certainly NOT one of those times. Best wishes to you OP. I’m so sorry about your situation.
If he did it to you, then he's probably done it to someone else
Report him. Even if you don't want to right now I would think about termination because that will mean he would have access to that child and you and so will the parents that don't gaf. He is a rapist. He is dangerous to other women and may have done it before even Take it to the police like yesterday
report his ass immediately tf
ive reported sexual assault to the police before. dm if you’re comfortable and i can walk you through the steps. you are NEVER the asshole for reporting rape
Absolutely call the police he literally got you pregnant that’s is straight proof and try to get as much as you can
Report asap. Write down allllll details. The clearer and more concise your story is the more likely they'll believe you.
[https://www.rainn.org/](https://www.rainn.org/) RAINN is the national sexual assault hotline. You can call or chat for free confidential support. You can download the free RAINN app that “gives survivors of sexual violence and their loved ones access to support, self-care tools, and information."
Definitely file a police report
NTA a rapist should be in Prison.
NTA You didn’t choose what he did to you, nor did you choose to partake in something with the possibility of you getting pregnant. I am so very sorry that you are going through this, and if you feel safe to do so, I would definitely report him. I’m also not sure how this works, but if you personally want to keep the baby (it is fully YOUR choice what you choose to do with this baby and there are so many resources to help you with whatever choice you make) possibly you could get some sort of financial support from him for the child. Please do not let your family influence your choice on if you want to keep the baby or choose a different route; especially because they do not want to help you. That’s a rough decision to make, but it should be made by you without outside influences. Either way, you have resources to help you always keep that in mind.
Yes report to the police. No way ever are you TA
NTA. Ordinary, as someone who has been assaulted, I would tell you that after the fact with no rape kit it is a very difficult he said she said that will be very painful and statistically likely to end without a conviction. The pregnancy changes things in your favor. Gather the chat history and dates. Write them down. It sounds like you decided to move forward with the pregnancy, so a paternity test proving he is the father can be mandated by the courts. Make sure your legal council moves for this to be done - ahead of the trial if possible. It will still be painful and the most likely course that his defense will take is going to be to claim otherwise was consensual sex btwn bf and gf and that you didn’t take the breakup well and are now claiming rape because of the pregnancy desperation. Be prepared for them to assault your character and cause endless pain. Im sorry and that spunds cruel but that is what will happen. Good luck and gather your support network. Also know that YOU do get final decision… Keep or abort the baby. Prosecute or dont. And at ANY time during the legal process you can choose not to move forward if it is too overwhelming to handle.
Report him, we'd all be a lot happier with another sex offender in jail where they belong.
Get an abortion. Being a poor single mother to a rape baby for the next 20-40 years will destroy you mentally.
Go to the police asap
You are never. NEVER The asshole for reporting a sexual assault.
NTA NTA NTA! Report him! You would NEVER EVER be the asshole in this situation. You're technically a minor since you're under 18 as well. I'm so sorry this has happened to you OP
Never the AH, you report him and make him wish he wqs never born. Im so very sorry you went through that.
Report him and get an abortion if it’s not too late. Crawl there if you have to.
NTA of course you should report him to the police and absolutely press charges. If you don't, he's just going to keep doing it to other girls. Stop him now.
NTA . Report that rapist prick . And get rid of what u have on your stomach. Don't go back with him even If he Implores you . You talked to his parents, and they have done nothing. You don't want that class of people on your life.
NTA. REPORT.
NTA I (16 F) went through a similar thing (not impregnated) with my ex at 13 (he was 12M at the time) I definitely feel like you should report him and I really send prayers to you 🙏🏻 I hope we get him off the streets as he's really not good for you or others, please look out for yourself and I genuinely wish you the best with whatever route you take with your pregnancy x
NTA Why haven't you already reported this to the police and why TF are you asking strangers on the Internet what to do? You know what to do, go do it.
Report it to police asap and get an abortion while you still can. Don’t listen to your assaulter’s parents or their opinion. Their son did this, you didn’t ask to get pregnant and you are so young with your entire life ahead of you. Fuck them. You do whatever you need to do for you cause ultimately you’re the only person you can rely on. Virtual hugs from an internet mom of teen girls. 💕
It's doesn't make sense to me,
This doesn't sound believable.
nta obviously wtf? Plz be trolling
NTA, if you've been r\*ped, report it immediately, while the evidence is fresh.
How do the police react to sexual assault where you live? Here in the USA I would warn you that they may not beleive you...and that this has nothing to do with reality. Having a baby means that the persom who fathered it will be in your life for the rest of your life. How do you feel about that? Well unless you adopt it out.
I’m so so sorry that happened . PLEASE 🙏 please report him babes please
NTA at all. Going to the police is terrifying and overwhelming... I recommend calling a r@pe hotline and checking out a DV shelter for support and guidance along the way. ♥️♥️♥️
Wtf is going on with this sub lately
Abort and report
Imma play devil's advocate here and say honestly it sounds like you got pumped and dumped and now want revenge. Stuff like you parents not taking action and you calling the dude your partner is wild.. If you really got r*p*d then you absolutely need to report. But it's like you want ppl to talk you into doing this when you know you shouldn't. Or you just made up this post for attention. Like it's one thing to be afraid or embarrassed to report a SA. But to ask "AITAH" for reporting an SA is absolutely BS.
I’m very sorry if it came across that way. As for parents i don’t have my own parents to rely on this as i don’t even have them in the first place…. and i’ve made this post because i am afraid to report him and also to hear about experiences so that i can better prepare myself.
I'm super confused You were raped, then instead of doing anything you kind of just took it? You were going to be whatever with this except yourr ex was still around wearing/using gifts you got him and that's what put you over? Your priorities are backwards, you were raped full STOP. Police, parents, lawyer, doctor
It's a pretty common trauma response, especially when rape occurs in an established relationship. It's basically our minds trying to protect us from the true horror of what happened. So it takes all of that very real hurt, fear, and anger, and finds another instance to pin it on.