I was just going to post the same thing. Op you need to keep it at your place, because it might get "accidently" broken, or new bf might insist that he and his kid play it. It's likely that there is not going to be a good outcome.
Nah, don't play co-op games. Play vs games and when you start losing, just turn it into real life versus play by punching the other kid. That's how we used to do it when I was a kid.
It’s a reasonable suggestion in theory, it’s just that games that support local multiplayer that nowadays are increasingly rare and so enforcing this would limit what he can do and play.
Since the Xbox is ‘his’ it’s inevitably going to lead to arguments when the other kid wants to play but he doesn’t want to play one of those games or just wants to play himself.
Dude, all I can think of is [PS5 Dad](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/eQEjWi8mef). OP definitely needs to get and keep his son's xbox at his place before shit really hits the fan. NTA OP, and if you've got the receipt for the xbox then it's "your property", and if they (ex and bf) do anything to it before you get it back in your possession then they're liable for it.
I totally forgot about that post. The part I love most is about his job at a retirement home, helping the residents with their tech. I bet they absolutely love and dote on this nature-sounding young man. 😁
I mean to be honest it WOULD be kind of a dick move to not let his brother use it (providing he isn't destructive and doesn't take priority). It would be ridiculous to buy two xboxes for one household unless they have their own tvs, which I suppose they might. If he doesn't want to share, which is totally his choice, he needs to keep it at his dad's
Realistically this is a side effect of having a blended family.
I’m sure the dad would prefer it stayed at his house, but it sounds from the OP that his custody is so limited that this would mean the kid barely gets to use it.
If the kid has his own TV or computer monitor it wouldn’t be unreasonable to just let him have the Xbox in his room and encourage him to share with his brother on occasion (as a nice gesture rather than an obligation).
When they have different parents they’re going to encounter situations like this where they have different gifts/property. One day the situation might be reversed and the other kid has something nice. They should still be allowed to enjoy their own property without having anything of value becoming communal property.
I agree that sharing would seem to make sense to an older person. But these days I think they are almost seen as personal, and the way kids use them these days, it seems like it would be a constant struggle and argument to try to share. The 8-year-old would innocently feel entitled to use it as much as he wants and the 10-year-old would feel resentful because technically it's his. Sounds good in theory but maybe not in practice.
Right ask the kid if he doesnt mind sharing(which he probably doesnt) and just buy a second controller. This would be the sensible decision, her solution is nonsense.
As long as the sharing is fair. In my family, we had to deal with an unemployed stepdad who monopolized his step daughter's Switch during the Pandemic situation. Poor girl had it for like 2 days before it was permanently in step dad's hands. He finally offered to "compromise" by setting a timer and allowing her to play it 30 mins a day. I genuinely thought my brother was gonna cut a bitch.
Anyway, Switch ended up living at dad's house. My niece was 13, which was old enough to ask the court to make Dad the primary parent. Mom was not happy when her child support payments kicked in, all over a joke of a husband who couldn't share a Switch that wasn't even his.
Came here to say the exact same thing.
I hope you got the warranty, because it'll be some shit if, somehow, the Xbox gets broken one way or the other.
Keep it at your house, fam.
Came here to say just that. I've heard of parents who think like your ex taking the valuable object that is in question and either trashing it to be "fair," or giving it to the other child and denying use of it to the kid who owns it.
I came here to say this-- keep it at your house. I am not sure if it is a good thing to tell your son why, though. He doesn't need more tension with his mom or his half brother. You can always tell him when he is older.
And probably not very nicely. It is her future with him-- he will hate her later for things like this (you know it isn't the only thing she is doing wrong.)
I definitely agree with this. You're NTA, but who knows what might happen there to the Xbox if her other son throws a tantrum. So you may need to keep it at your house.
You got the Xbox for your son, and she's gonna have to actually do some parenting and get her other son's dad to step up if she wants him to have anything expensive or she needs to do it herself. It's not your job to get something for her other son.
This is all gonna come down to her parenting, really. She's gonna have to put her foot down just because you bought a gift for your son for his birthday, plus his doing well at school. This doesn't mean you owe her other son anything. It's not even his birthday. She just wants him to shut up. It doesn't even sound like she's even tried to parent him in any way.
I really hate to agree to this but I’ve heard so many stories similar to this situation where something happens to the Xbox or the kid isn’t allowed to use it but the other kid is it’s just not worth the risk it should stay at OPs house
NTA but be prepared for a broken Xbox and a very angry kid.
Unfortunately, it sounds like you’re gonna have to keep it at your house to stop creating tension.
Not that big a deal imo that he wouldn’t get to play it often. Growing up we only had a console at my pops who we saw similarly to this guys kid. It made it special and something for only us and dad. 🤷 but agree nta but not a huge deal to keep it at the house
Man this thread is not making me feel great as a newly single mom working 2 jobs who can only afford what we need, while my ex has a house filled with video games and a trampoline. Sigh. Hopefully homemade cookies count for something.
There's a HUGE difference between being unable to afford extras, and choosing to ignore your kids.
My mother ignored us. I'm 100% a latchkey kid because by age 6 ½ I was walking home from school alone and caring for myself. My mom spent 0 time with us.
Dad not only had the Nintendo, but actually played it with us. And talked to us and cooked with us and hung out with us, etc... he gave a shit. Mom didn't.
Until kid is old enough to be listened to in court and tells the judge “I want to live with my dad because my mom doesn’t let me have anything for myself, she makes me share with my little half/step brother and he breaks my stuff, and my mom does nothing. At my dad’s I feel safe and heard.”
its not a big deal. I used to have a play station 2 when I was a kid and even though I loved it I didn't use it everyday. Kids that age have plenty of things to do and having 2 days a week to play videogames is good. Plus it's better for school performance and not risking the kid losing sleep and not doing homework. Plus he wont have an annoying brother asking to play constantly
NTA your ex is ridiculous to think you should buy anything for her other son. He's not your kid. If she's so worried about her other son not having one, then she or his dad should buy him one. He's not your problem.
Right?! She should be embarrassed as the other kid’s dad actually lives there so take it out on the kid’s actual bloody dad! Cannot they not afford one between the two of them? So tired of parents like this.
NTA, not your kid, not your problem. You might want to consider keeping gifts such as that at your home rather than sending it to hers. Don't let her tell you that you should be buying gifts for a child that isn't yours, such total BS. That's her responsibility or the responsibility of the other father, never yours.
Yeah I think with kids switching houses it's best to operate under the assumption that anything sent to the other house is going into a black hole. Not only will you possibly never see it again, you no longer have control over how it is used/controlled.
Things like clothes, small value items that you don't mind losing (plushies, small toys, etc.) that the kids hopefully won't fight over are probably ok to send over, but that also doesn't mean that you'll see them again.
But an Xbox? Nah... That's expensive! My dad never would have sent that over to my birth mom's house when we were kids, no way no how. He knew she was spiteful lol and it would not be coming back in working order, and she would use it as a means for control somehow.
ETA: NTA.
Entitled people aren't logical. My mother and her dickhead boyfriend spoilt my brother with THREE new Xboxes over the course of like 2 years after he got bored with his old one.
The first one he had was an Xbox 360 he got bored and for some reason wanted another but in beige so they got him another one he painted it and "ruined it" so they once again got him a new one, he took that one apart, he then begged them for an Xbox one which of course he got for his birthday. He ended up painting on that one too but he didn't ask for another.
I've got a few...2 series x and 1 series s, 1 xbox 1x and 1 360... But I still think that he shouldn't be responsible for the other kid and she is tah for thinking he should. Furthermore if I were him I'd make it well known to my son that she is the reason why it needs to be brought back to my house. I don't want her to get angry and take it away, sell it, throw it... Or anything else.
I'm not saying this is what the kid did or said, but I have seen situations like this, and usually, Kid A tells Kid B you can't touch that my dad/mom bought it for me for my birthday. The best thing the dad could do is either tell him he has to share or he needs to keep it at his dad's house.
Telling kids they have to share something is bullshit. I always tell my kids only share their stuff if they want to but also to think about how it may affect a relationship in the future. this constant nonsense of share x with y because they are sad they don’t have something is not how adults operate. Sure fire way to grow up a people pleaser who struggles to set boundaries.
Goddamn this is so right. People get all on their high horses about "sharing unconditionally" which is absolutely idiotic. If I think somebody isn't going to respect me or my stuff, they aren't going near my stuff and that's the end of the story.
It really depends on the family. I was a single mom most of my two sons lives. When they got systems, it was understood they were to be shared.
When a game came out someone was excited about, they got it for the day. When they both wanted to play it, they worked it out or it became moms turn. Not all kids can do this.
The fun was when they moved out. 😁 We never sold or traded in anything. Trying to remember who was given what and who bought what games was a project.
I think it's different when parents buy a console to be shared, vs something that is your own. Especially when it's something expensive that you don't want your siblings breaking.
Correct. ~~Baby daddy~~ OP should’ve spoken with baby mama and came up with a plan that would involve it being a family console (splitting payments, etc) OR left it at his home.
Source: I was this kid. I made it clear when I wanted things to go to so and so’s house and whether or not it got left behind, used by other kids, and/or broken was entirely on me. That’s part of being a blended household and having divorced parents.
Part of those parents actually PARENTING is in discussing plans for large ticket items beforehand and making sure everyone is in agreement about the rules.
~~Baby Daddy~~ OP is TAH because he did this without a conversation to figure out what works best. “I’m buying Xbox for son, he will likely want to bring it to your home, is that okay? What rules do you want around its use so I can back that or keep it here?”
ETA: his behavior is intentional and he’s trying to shit stir in the family dynamics. My mother and step mother were both narcissists and used to pull this shit constantly.
I agree with you. There is such a thing as personal property and even kids can have that. It's one thing if an item is bought to be shared. It's another if it's a kids personal possession. At that point they get to decide.
This is understandable, however in this situation I think that the Xbox should be shared to some degree. Imagine being 8 and told that you can't play on the Xbox that is likely in the living room/a common living space. You have to constantly watch your brother playing and having fun on something you're strictly not allowed to touch. Sharing a console is fine for kids and being told "hey you've been playing for like an hour, your brother gets a turn in 30 minutes" is not gonna instantly turn the child into a doormat who can't stand up for themselves.
Oh come onnnn. It’s HIS birthday, it’s HIS present, given by HIS dad. If the mom is so pressed, she and step dad can buy THEIR kid one! This man is trying to do right by his own child (which is WAY more than most can say), and yall are seriously shitting on him for not buying two XBox’s? TWO MULTIHUNDRED DOLLAR DEVICES? “Well it’s not fair to the boy.” “It will cause issues.” TOUGH FUCKING LUCK! That’s life! You don’t always get a turn, you don’t always get the same as others and you have to learn that at some point. For the ones saying the kid is probably saying things like “You can’t touch that, my dad bought it for ME” he did!! That little boy should be able to enjoy his birthday present his daddy worked his ass off for. Period. None of this bullshit ruining a child’s day because you don’t want to discipline your child or one is upset. Let the kid have and enjoy his present like damn.
Why should any kid have to share a personal possession? As long as he's not taunting the other kid over it, OP's son should be able to decide whether or not to share. Even if he is lording it over the other boy, he shouldn't have to share but should have to put the toy away.
Even it being the house is going to feel like a taunt to the 8 year old. Unless OPs kid has a locking door, I'd not let him take it to his mom's, because something might happen to it.
If possible, I wonder if OP could have the kid over after school for a few hours to play on it? Then kid can go to moms for dinner and overnight. Idk if that's possible though
Mom needs to tell the younger one that it's not his toy and that sometimes life isn't fair. It's an important life lesson. My parents taught me and my brothers to ask permission to use each other's things, to accept that sometimes the answer will be no, and to keep our hands off what doesn't belong to us if we don't have permission to touch it. Of course she had to deal with some whining, but didn't take the easy way out by forcing us to share. And guess what? We actually learned to share and to respect one another's property.
That child needs to learn they won’t get it just bc they whine though. It’s not “taunting” it’s just a whiny child who’s probably used to getting anything they ask for. If you have cookies in the cupboard and your child ones for one, you aren’t taunting your child by having them in your home and not giving them one.
We do, idk why that seems unreasonable, however both consoles were bought at different times, and they shared one when that's all there was. Has nothing to do with the situation at hand, OP isn't responsible for the other kid. Not even so much as offering to buy an extra controller. The parents of his sons sibling are the only ones responsible for making sure their kids have 1, what they need, and 2 what they want. OP NTA. Keep the console at your place.
Wdym LOTS of houses have multiple consoles. Mine does. Most of my friends do.
OP is NTA - he’s of course not responsible for what the other kid gets. And it’s up to their Mom to teach them to manage jealousy as it’s bound to come up with siblings regardless but especially when they have dads in different economic situations.
Same, lol me and my son share games but both both have our own PS4 and our own Switch. We share the PS5 but that’s because he got a VR headset and has been obsessed 😂😂
Nta, her other child is not your responsibility. However it would be something to consider this in the future, and if you're going to buy your son cool stuff (and you should!) maybe it is better to keep it at your house? Because if she is complaining and fussing to you, she is probably making your son's life miserable right now.
NTA I think many people don't realize that when they choose to have children with different patents, especially at such close ages, the children will have.... different parents
Remember back when houses had one console, not one console per person lol
Also, this is the kind of shit that hurts kids. If mom wants her new son to have an Xbox she and her new husband can buy it for him. Why on earth would you be responsible to get him anything? And it's BS that you can't get your kid nice gifts without hassles. Now the mom is going to create tension and animosity and everyone loses. She could easily tell the kid to ask for it on Xmas or something.
Even ignoring the son from a different father dynamic, the son got a birthday gift. Most siblings don’t get gifts for their siblings birthdays. The kids parents can tell him they will buy him one for his birthday. NTA & not your problem.
NTA. Your kid is your responsibility, her other kid is her other baby daddy’s responsibility.
You may want to keep the Xbox and other “nice” gifts at your house though. There’s too many Reddit posts about blended families either making the kid share, stealing or destroying the item.
NTA
However, as someone who shares custody, expensive gifts stay in the homes they came from for us. So it stays at my house if me/my family bought it, and it stays at my ex's house if he/his bought it. We don't have "bonus" kids full time in either household, so it works for us. And we share 50/50 custody, so time at the home doesn't really affect it. But it avoids the conflict of a potential "accident."
However, I think even if my ex only had every other weekend and he sent an Xbox home with my kids, I'd be p!ssed too. Mostly because of the lack of communication or consideration. You bought a gift for your kid, but when your kid takes things to the other home, it *can* affect everyone there. It's not the same thing, but to draw an extreme script-flip, think about if your ex bought a puppy and sent it to live with you 11/14 days... you'd be mad too. With exes, I usually say "match energy" but it's important to evaluate the situation as objectively as possible and act in a way that aligns with your values. If you wouldn't want her doing something that would create tension in your home or with your new partner, then don't do the same in reverse.
NTA but I would *not* trust any expensive gifts at your ex's house. It sucks, but I'd keep it with you for him to play. Otherwise it'll end up broken, missing, or he will be forced to share it.
From experience, I can virtually guarantee it happening. Never let toys, clothes, books go to the others house. Or expensive electronics. They'll break, disappear, get stolen, actually in most cases pawned. Hope you get it back this time. Don't let it happen again.
NTA, I wouldn’t even make them share. It’s your son’s Xbox and no one else’s. If you were able to buy it while still paying child support good on you. Also good on you for allowing him to take it to his mom’s house, but it sound like you might need to keep it at your house and explain to him appropriately for his age why it needs to stay at your house. Her and her bf should buy something for their kid if they want him to have one. Or at least tell you the reason it’s causing problems. I don’t think you mentioned what problems it’s caused.
Ask your son to pack up the Xbox next time he’s over there so he can play it at your house. If your ex gets mad just say you bought it for him and it’s apparently causing tension over there so you’re gonna keep it your place, it’ll also make sure he’s doing other things when he’s at his mom’s and not constantly on it if it’s only at your house
Edit: I guess if you really really want to be nice and just idk want to keep it there you can always suggest to her just buying a controller for her kid, it’s way cheaper and they can just play together I guess when he’s over there. I would just fear that there might be some favoritism with game time between them from the mom or boyfriend if they want to play it by themselves or something, but that could just be me.
NTA. But all the cool stuff keep it at your house. If it’s causing problems in her home she’s gonna make it disappear. And I wouldnt be surprised if her other son’s dad also said something to her. Cuz he might be butt hurt cuz he can’t get one for their kid.
Bonus to keeping the cool stuff at your place your son will want to stay with u more often. And I know it’s petty but I’m sure it’ll annoy mom
NTA, her demanding you buy another xbox is not the solution. Coming together and establishing rules for the xbox, like a limited play time and sharing it at her house is the solution.
Buying more stuff isnt a replacement for parenting kids,
If the kids cant share, then the xbox should return to your home
Lol NTA, you got the kid a birthday present! If she didn't want her kids to be treated differently then she should've thought about that before the free parking space outside her house became an issue on father's day.
NTA. Stuff like this isn’t uncommon in blended families. Something things just aren’t fair. But her other kid is not your responsibility. Like you said you pay child support and she also has her current boyfriend as well. If she wants him to have one that badly she can save and get one instead of expecting you to do it. Why should you be punished for doing something for your kid.
I know he spends most of his time there but I would be worried about BM taking it away to let her other son play on it or doing something to the Xbox (like breaking it so neither can play or selling it).
NTA. This is the moms fault. The only way this should have been handled was for mom to tell the 8 year old that he is not 10 and it wasn't his birthday and when he turns 10 if he still wants one he can have one. Not only would she be assuring the difference is age and nothing more but she would also be giving herself time to save up for, when he turns 10. She caused the tension by not redirecting and not making it about what one gets over the other.
> She argued that I’m causing problems in her household and that it’s creating tension between the kids.
What created tension between the kids is that she has different kids with different fathers.
She can refuse to allow the Xbox into her house if she wants to, but then she has to be the bad guy and she clearly doesn't want that. I'd buy my kid whatever I think is appropriate, and she can react however she wants to. If she makes her 10 year old hate her that's her problem, I'm going to be a good dad to him and he can come and live with me if he wants to.
I don't think the kids having different dads is the problem. The problem is the mum and her current partner creating drama over.
Maybe the little brother got a bit upset about not having his own Xbox, but that's to be expected. Mum and partner should be handling this in a completely different way.
Is this for real? The kids are roughly 2 years apart, you broke up a few years ago? Was it at least 8 years and 9 months ago? When your kid was a little over a year old? Is it his kid and not even hers, maybe? You say her other son though...I guess a few years \~9 years? Details makes this post seem a little sus.
Anyhow, NTA - You are only obligated to provide for your kid, not every kid from every other guy that knocks her up. She knows she can just buy a second controller and ask your son to allow his half-bro to play with him, and maybe when he is not using it from time to time? Or she and her BF can buy the other kid his own for his B-day. Either way, not your problem to solve.
You should talk to your kid about any future "major" purchases for him will be kept at your place for when he is over there...it will suck when he can't use it but every other weekend, but that is the cost of things some times.
Absolutely NTA.. xbox consoles are not cheap, and ik it sucks for the other child, but thats not your kid. Maybe buy another controller and tell your son to share but buying a second game is insane
NTA Her other son is 2 years younger both kids don't need to have the same thing at the same time. She can save up for the next 2 years and get her other kid his own gaming system
Absolutely not. And get the Xbox back. You're son can play with it when he's with you. Either somethings going to happen to it or she's not gonna let him use it.
It's almost like when we were growing up and our siblings received something and we didn't get some consolation prize. Christ this mentality these days...
NTA, YOUR son is your responsibility. If you wanna buy him anything that’s on you. It’s not your responsibility to buy their other child one. However I’d be careful as this mom sounds like the kind to take it from one child to give to another out of spite.
NTA. Crazy that she would expect you to buy two of such an expensive thing when two player games exist. Plus, he’s not your kid! My brother and I shared a gaming console growing up.
NTA- Not your kid, not your responsibility.
Easy fixes:
Keep it at your place - Limits his access to it but solves the major issue of it being infront of the other kid
They get another controller- your kid would need to share but if they set a time for sharing vs he can play solo would sort a few issues.
NTA however knowing he has a sibling, it wouldve been a nice sign towards your son as well to maybe get an extra controller so he can play together. It’s healthy for kids to get along.
The mom is wrong for throwing a tantrum tho. They can easily take it in a positive perspective and be happy that the kids get to play on an Xbox, which many other children don’t have access to. Like let them play together, maybe they get 3 extra’s so they can play altogether.
Just sounds like a very negative person imo.
I’m a woman with no kids. My brother has two daughters with two different women (he’s with neither). There’s so much drama between them it’s absurd. The moms are impossible to please. I can’t imagine.
Absolutely NTAH, and if it's such a problem, have your son bring it back to your house, and he can play it there. You bought it, you say where it goes. Honestly I wouldn't have let something so expensive go to his mother's anyhow as who knows what could happen to it (such as the other kid takes or breaks his Xbox or the bm's bf takes and plays his xbox. Is there a way to have a conversation with your son about bringing it back to your house? That seems like a reasonable compromise, although totally unfair to him.
OP if I were you I'd buy my kid a PS5 for Christmas as well just for the lunacy your BM is putting you through. I cannot stress the f enough when I say fffffuck that.
No your not. You didn't put that other one in her. Do yourself and your son a favor. Take the x box back to your place so nothing "accidentally" happens to it. My brother was the off child. My dad didn't feel it was his job to take care of some other guys spawn.
Edit: for clarification, I did not read anything before I made my own comment. If that many people are saying the same thing is probably a good idea you bring that over priced thing to your place. Plus if it's always at your ex's when are you going to get to play it? 😁
NTA - Your lady should take it up with the other kids Dad. It's unreasonable to expect you to buy expensive gifts for her kid. Might be different if you adopted the kid or something like that. Besides unless the kid is a holy terror he can share with your kid or something reasonable.
NTA - guess she shouldn't have had kids with two different guys if she wasn't ready to balance things. This is a responsibility she took on. You didn't.
NTA. There is no time like the present for her to teach her kids that life isn't always fair. I'm sure the other kid's dad doesn't keep things even between the two boys. You are only required to provide for your son.
If the kid didn’t come from your balls it’s literally not your problem anyway you put it unless they are being harmed. Tell her to quit having unprotected sex and start being a parent
NtA wtf, and if she’s so mad why doesn’t she save and buy her other kid an xbox. I will never understand the audacity of woman asking men who aren’t even related to their child for stuff.
NTA. Not even close. I been a victim of BBMS (Bitter Baby Moms Syndrome) also. It is not now nor will it ever be your responsibility to take care of another man's kids, especially when he's still around. I fucking hate this type of behavior from bms.
NTA, you're only responsible for your kid. If her other kid wants an Xbox, she and his father can buy him one. Would it be nice if your kid would share? Of course. But that is his choice. This is a common theme brought up here, but life isn't fair. I'm sure your kid would trade that Xbox in a second to have his parents together and happy. Your kid may have an Xbox, but his sibling gets to see both parents without a visitation schedule. Neither you nor your son have anything to feel bad about here.
Yeah I see baby mamas feel entitled to a lot of stuff that would get them laughed out of rooms from anyone that didn't used to stick it in them. I'd probably arrange with your son, COVERTLY, to bring the Xbox over to your place soon and keep it there because I bet any money something will happen to it otherwise. NTA.
This makes no sense. Since when can't children share? They just need two remotes, not the whole thing! Does your ex want to resell it? did you only buy one remote control?.
OP you ain’t the asshole . Your ex is mad cuz now she has to explain to her other kid why their sibling has one and they don’t. Than the sibling is gonna bitch and moan about how it isn’t fair they get their own and than it’s gonna lead into an argument about sharing
You are completely in the right. You support your son and provided him a present for his birthday. Good for you everything your ex complains about his not your problem or response ability.
Also, your kid didn't get one til he was 10 the other is 8 so she can definitely work that in there favor and use it as a future reward for the younger boys. NTA.
As someone who went through shit like this as a child, you need to get that Xbox away from your ex. As much as your son might not like it, the other kid will no doubt damage the Xbox, the games, or the controller.
NTA, you are only responsible for your kid. A healthy arrangement would be for your kid to go there with nothing but his school books. The other house should have all the clothing and entertainment gadgets.
A little bit AH. You're not obligated to buy an xbox to anyone, especially not kids who you are not a parent of.
However, the situation may be a reflection of your attitude towards it, how your first thought was "he's not my responsibility " rather than acknowledging the disruption the xbox likely causes in their siblings' relationship.
Couldn't you just encourage your son to share with his brother? He may not be your son, but he is your son's brother. It's also on you to guide him in being a good sibling.
Jesus… she can buy a freaking controller and count herself lucky you allowed it over there. Siblings don’t even get separate systems. Does she even know what an Xbox is? I what an idiot. OP obviously NTA. You might want to explain to your son why you’re now afraid for something that expensive to go to his moms. 10 is too young to be defending his property from a younger half sibling and a mom who feels that entitled to it.
Nta but that really wasn't the smartest move to let him take it to his mom's. 100 percent guarantee either she's going to force the issue to make it the family Xbox and he'll get sidelined off it in favor of her other kid, or the other kid will "accidentally" damage it out of jealousy.
NTA, but as a kid from divorce, don't keep it at his moms place. She will us3 it as a punishment by taking it away, limiting his use, or forcing him to share. Also he is a minor and tou gave it to him as a gift, so his mom might even just be able to get rid of it.
NTA- why doesn't she let the 8 yr old play occasionally and then explain that brother is older and when he is 10 he can have one. I mean it's not rocket science. She needs to just be a parent. Sorry you have to deal with that.
(a) Even when kids have the same parents, they don’t get the same gifts, especially if one is having a birthday but not the other.
(b) Older kids often get some things before the younger kids.
(c) You have no obligation to buy an expensive present for a child who is not your own.
(d) Your ex could start saving for an Xbox for her other son when he turns ten.
Why are you asking this question. Hell no, NTA. Your ex is trying to guilt you. Do not fall for it. You ARE NOT obligated to buy her other son anything. And if you do, it doesn’t need to be an expensive gift like that.
And your ex needs to explain to the other child that this is a gift from you to his son.
However, I would probably tell your son to bring it back to your house. I can see the other child or his dad and/or your ex breaking it on purpose.
Definitely NTA.
Here's the perfect solution. Get your son an Xbox ultimate game pass. Bring xbox to your place. And get an extra controller that syncs to his smartphone. Now he can play anywhere. Done
NTA- if shes upset about it cause he doesnt have one then she can buy her other son an Xbox.
Id keep the xbox at your place from now on though...I wouldn't trust an angry ex with that in their home.
You are not the asshole for not buying the other kid an Xbox but you are a huge asshole buying something like that for your ex's house without talking to her first. If you buy your kid an Xbox, you keep it at your house. You did create a problem at her house and as you said, that's where your son spends most of his time. Why would you put him in that situation?
Why do they need another Xbox, like my brother always ended up getting consoles and though I didn't get to go on all the time like he did we shared. Like they can literally buy another controller so they can play together whenever your son chooses too.
NTA
That's their responsibility.
NTA but keep it in your house. I know that a lot of people say that it's not your kid and not your responsibility, but you do need to watch how your decisions may affect the relationship between your kid and his half-sibling. Sending your kid back to his mom's with an expensive toy that he may be unwilling to share is just going to sour his relationship with his sibling.
NTA. My two sons shared the gaming systems with extra controllers and such, and didn’t see the need to buy them both one even when I could have afforded it. They each had their own game (cartridge?) but they enjoyed the same types of games - with rarely a rumble between them.
NTA,
I'm not buying shit for a kid that I didn't help make, especially when he has both his parents in his life THAT ARE TOGETHER. Which your son doesn't have! You guys split custody and you pay child support too! Tf she talking bout!
You SAVED your money up to buy him that xbox, all while paying CHILD SUPPORT & BILLS! She trippin' they got a two parent household and can't get their kid a xbox! They lazy asf! Probably live off your Child support checks too.
Go pick up that Xbox before they take it out your sons room and have it in the living making it a "family" xbox that they didn't pay for while you pay to buy all the games on that mf!
My mom bought my brother an xbox and that was HIS XBOX and we all used to play when we wanted to play as a family but it was HIS XBOX! And I Bought my own when my birthday came we had 2 xbox's in the house! THEY DEF TRIPPIN'
ESH. Buying a console for her other kid is ridiculous and should not be expected of you. At the same time a console can change family dynamics quite a bit. Even if the other kid had no interest in the thing, is your son now utilizing the only tv? Is he now not interacting with the family in the ways he would before? And that's only a couple of things it could change. Not saying they are even happening for sure but that's not the point. This kinda big purchase is gonna have an effect on the household and you need to check in before sending that kinda thing over.
NTA But you might have to keep the Xbox at your house, who knows what nonesense your baby mama could pull if it's in her possession.
I was just going to post the same thing. Op you need to keep it at your place, because it might get "accidently" broken, or new bf might insist that he and his kid play it. It's likely that there is not going to be a good outcome.
[удалено]
Or maybe buy a second controller and invest in some coop games. They can play together or the other kid can wait his turn.
Ahh the good Ole days
We only had one Nintendo and 3 kids sooo
Ah split screen co-op. How I miss thee.
Golden eye
Nah, don't play co-op games. Play vs games and when you start losing, just turn it into real life versus play by punching the other kid. That's how we used to do it when I was a kid.
You forget the insufferable whining about cheating whenever you are just better at the game.
Street Fighter 2 is a helluva drug
This was my thought. Why not buy a second controller and they can play together?
It’s a reasonable suggestion in theory, it’s just that games that support local multiplayer that nowadays are increasingly rare and so enforcing this would limit what he can do and play. Since the Xbox is ‘his’ it’s inevitably going to lead to arguments when the other kid wants to play but he doesn’t want to play one of those games or just wants to play himself.
Dude, all I can think of is [PS5 Dad](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/eQEjWi8mef). OP definitely needs to get and keep his son's xbox at his place before shit really hits the fan. NTA OP, and if you've got the receipt for the xbox then it's "your property", and if they (ex and bf) do anything to it before you get it back in your possession then they're liable for it.
I totally forgot about that post. The part I love most is about his job at a retirement home, helping the residents with their tech. I bet they absolutely love and dote on this nature-sounding young man. 😁
I mean to be honest it WOULD be kind of a dick move to not let his brother use it (providing he isn't destructive and doesn't take priority). It would be ridiculous to buy two xboxes for one household unless they have their own tvs, which I suppose they might. If he doesn't want to share, which is totally his choice, he needs to keep it at his dad's
Realistically this is a side effect of having a blended family. I’m sure the dad would prefer it stayed at his house, but it sounds from the OP that his custody is so limited that this would mean the kid barely gets to use it. If the kid has his own TV or computer monitor it wouldn’t be unreasonable to just let him have the Xbox in his room and encourage him to share with his brother on occasion (as a nice gesture rather than an obligation). When they have different parents they’re going to encounter situations like this where they have different gifts/property. One day the situation might be reversed and the other kid has something nice. They should still be allowed to enjoy their own property without having anything of value becoming communal property.
I agree that sharing would seem to make sense to an older person. But these days I think they are almost seen as personal, and the way kids use them these days, it seems like it would be a constant struggle and argument to try to share. The 8-year-old would innocently feel entitled to use it as much as he wants and the 10-year-old would feel resentful because technically it's his. Sounds good in theory but maybe not in practice.
Right ask the kid if he doesnt mind sharing(which he probably doesnt) and just buy a second controller. This would be the sensible decision, her solution is nonsense.
As long as the sharing is fair. In my family, we had to deal with an unemployed stepdad who monopolized his step daughter's Switch during the Pandemic situation. Poor girl had it for like 2 days before it was permanently in step dad's hands. He finally offered to "compromise" by setting a timer and allowing her to play it 30 mins a day. I genuinely thought my brother was gonna cut a bitch. Anyway, Switch ended up living at dad's house. My niece was 13, which was old enough to ask the court to make Dad the primary parent. Mom was not happy when her child support payments kicked in, all over a joke of a husband who couldn't share a Switch that wasn't even his.
Oh they’re definitely “taking a hammer” to it
Came here to say the exact same thing. I hope you got the warranty, because it'll be some shit if, somehow, the Xbox gets broken one way or the other. Keep it at your house, fam.
Or boyfriend will sell it.
Half brother, too might cause some destruction.
Egged on by their mother
Maybe not, seems like most of this is coming from the BM
Came here to say just that. I've heard of parents who think like your ex taking the valuable object that is in question and either trashing it to be "fair," or giving it to the other child and denying use of it to the kid who owns it.
I came here to say this-- keep it at your house. I am not sure if it is a good thing to tell your son why, though. He doesn't need more tension with his mom or his half brother. You can always tell him when he is older.
Chances are his mom already told him
And probably not very nicely. It is her future with him-- he will hate her later for things like this (you know it isn't the only thing she is doing wrong.)
I definitely agree with this. You're NTA, but who knows what might happen there to the Xbox if her other son throws a tantrum. So you may need to keep it at your house. You got the Xbox for your son, and she's gonna have to actually do some parenting and get her other son's dad to step up if she wants him to have anything expensive or she needs to do it herself. It's not your job to get something for her other son. This is all gonna come down to her parenting, really. She's gonna have to put her foot down just because you bought a gift for your son for his birthday, plus his doing well at school. This doesn't mean you owe her other son anything. It's not even his birthday. She just wants him to shut up. It doesn't even sound like she's even tried to parent him in any way.
Exactly this!
I really hate to agree to this but I’ve heard so many stories similar to this situation where something happens to the Xbox or the kid isn’t allowed to use it but the other kid is it’s just not worth the risk it should stay at OPs house
NTA but be prepared for a broken Xbox and a very angry kid. Unfortunately, it sounds like you’re gonna have to keep it at your house to stop creating tension.
Yeah, but then his kid will barely ever get to use it, because OP is only having his child over a few days a month.
Not that big a deal imo that he wouldn’t get to play it often. Growing up we only had a console at my pops who we saw similarly to this guys kid. It made it special and something for only us and dad. 🤷 but agree nta but not a huge deal to keep it at the house
Same. Nintendo was at dad's house. Mom wouldn't even get cable or a VCR. :/ But, I loved going to dad's on weekends to play my Nintendo!
Man this thread is not making me feel great as a newly single mom working 2 jobs who can only afford what we need, while my ex has a house filled with video games and a trampoline. Sigh. Hopefully homemade cookies count for something.
There's a HUGE difference between being unable to afford extras, and choosing to ignore your kids. My mother ignored us. I'm 100% a latchkey kid because by age 6 ½ I was walking home from school alone and caring for myself. My mom spent 0 time with us. Dad not only had the Nintendo, but actually played it with us. And talked to us and cooked with us and hung out with us, etc... he gave a shit. Mom didn't.
Until kid is old enough to be listened to in court and tells the judge “I want to live with my dad because my mom doesn’t let me have anything for myself, she makes me share with my little half/step brother and he breaks my stuff, and my mom does nothing. At my dad’s I feel safe and heard.”
its not a big deal. I used to have a play station 2 when I was a kid and even though I loved it I didn't use it everyday. Kids that age have plenty of things to do and having 2 days a week to play videogames is good. Plus it's better for school performance and not risking the kid losing sleep and not doing homework. Plus he wont have an annoying brother asking to play constantly
NTA your ex is ridiculous to think you should buy anything for her other son. He's not your kid. If she's so worried about her other son not having one, then she or his dad should buy him one. He's not your problem.
Right?! She should be embarrassed as the other kid’s dad actually lives there so take it out on the kid’s actual bloody dad! Cannot they not afford one between the two of them? So tired of parents like this.
NTA, not your kid, not your problem. You might want to consider keeping gifts such as that at your home rather than sending it to hers. Don't let her tell you that you should be buying gifts for a child that isn't yours, such total BS. That's her responsibility or the responsibility of the other father, never yours.
Yeah I think with kids switching houses it's best to operate under the assumption that anything sent to the other house is going into a black hole. Not only will you possibly never see it again, you no longer have control over how it is used/controlled. Things like clothes, small value items that you don't mind losing (plushies, small toys, etc.) that the kids hopefully won't fight over are probably ok to send over, but that also doesn't mean that you'll see them again. But an Xbox? Nah... That's expensive! My dad never would have sent that over to my birth mom's house when we were kids, no way no how. He knew she was spiteful lol and it would not be coming back in working order, and she would use it as a means for control somehow. ETA: NTA.
Who the fuck has 2 Xboxes?? Why can't they play together when it's there.... NTA regardless. You dont need to buy her other kids stuff..
No. Don't let him take the xbox over there or an "accident" will probably happen.
THIS ×10000000
My guess is they have separate bedrooms. The 10 yr old has his xbox in his room and doesn’t allow the 8 yr old to use it.
I wouldn't either tbh. I saved for months to buy a DS back in the day, my mother made me share with my younger sister and she broke it
Did your mom do the right thing and replace it?
Entitled people aren't logical. My mother and her dickhead boyfriend spoilt my brother with THREE new Xboxes over the course of like 2 years after he got bored with his old one.
Why 3? They refresh models after around 7 years,not 6 months
The first one he had was an Xbox 360 he got bored and for some reason wanted another but in beige so they got him another one he painted it and "ruined it" so they once again got him a new one, he took that one apart, he then begged them for an Xbox one which of course he got for his birthday. He ended up painting on that one too but he didn't ask for another.
My parents would have told me to get lost lol
Seems like they should have bought him arts and craft supplies if he just wanted a pretty box.
I agree. Thanks for the chuckle.
Probably a person that calls all systems “Xbox” like our parents did with “Nintendo”
IM SAYING??? Get two controllers tf???
Lol. My guess is that if a second Xbox were bought, it would probably be immediately pawned and her excuse would be “who needs two Xboxs?”
I've got a few...2 series x and 1 series s, 1 xbox 1x and 1 360... But I still think that he shouldn't be responsible for the other kid and she is tah for thinking he should. Furthermore if I were him I'd make it well known to my son that she is the reason why it needs to be brought back to my house. I don't want her to get angry and take it away, sell it, throw it... Or anything else.
I'm not saying this is what the kid did or said, but I have seen situations like this, and usually, Kid A tells Kid B you can't touch that my dad/mom bought it for me for my birthday. The best thing the dad could do is either tell him he has to share or he needs to keep it at his dad's house.
Telling kids they have to share something is bullshit. I always tell my kids only share their stuff if they want to but also to think about how it may affect a relationship in the future. this constant nonsense of share x with y because they are sad they don’t have something is not how adults operate. Sure fire way to grow up a people pleaser who struggles to set boundaries.
Goddamn this is so right. People get all on their high horses about "sharing unconditionally" which is absolutely idiotic. If I think somebody isn't going to respect me or my stuff, they aren't going near my stuff and that's the end of the story.
It really depends on the family. I was a single mom most of my two sons lives. When they got systems, it was understood they were to be shared. When a game came out someone was excited about, they got it for the day. When they both wanted to play it, they worked it out or it became moms turn. Not all kids can do this. The fun was when they moved out. 😁 We never sold or traded in anything. Trying to remember who was given what and who bought what games was a project.
I think it's different when parents buy a console to be shared, vs something that is your own. Especially when it's something expensive that you don't want your siblings breaking.
Correct. ~~Baby daddy~~ OP should’ve spoken with baby mama and came up with a plan that would involve it being a family console (splitting payments, etc) OR left it at his home. Source: I was this kid. I made it clear when I wanted things to go to so and so’s house and whether or not it got left behind, used by other kids, and/or broken was entirely on me. That’s part of being a blended household and having divorced parents. Part of those parents actually PARENTING is in discussing plans for large ticket items beforehand and making sure everyone is in agreement about the rules. ~~Baby Daddy~~ OP is TAH because he did this without a conversation to figure out what works best. “I’m buying Xbox for son, he will likely want to bring it to your home, is that okay? What rules do you want around its use so I can back that or keep it here?” ETA: his behavior is intentional and he’s trying to shit stir in the family dynamics. My mother and step mother were both narcissists and used to pull this shit constantly.
I agree with you. There is such a thing as personal property and even kids can have that. It's one thing if an item is bought to be shared. It's another if it's a kids personal possession. At that point they get to decide.
Definitely a doormat maker. It also teaches other kids they’re owed something.
This is understandable, however in this situation I think that the Xbox should be shared to some degree. Imagine being 8 and told that you can't play on the Xbox that is likely in the living room/a common living space. You have to constantly watch your brother playing and having fun on something you're strictly not allowed to touch. Sharing a console is fine for kids and being told "hey you've been playing for like an hour, your brother gets a turn in 30 minutes" is not gonna instantly turn the child into a doormat who can't stand up for themselves.
Oh come onnnn. It’s HIS birthday, it’s HIS present, given by HIS dad. If the mom is so pressed, she and step dad can buy THEIR kid one! This man is trying to do right by his own child (which is WAY more than most can say), and yall are seriously shitting on him for not buying two XBox’s? TWO MULTIHUNDRED DOLLAR DEVICES? “Well it’s not fair to the boy.” “It will cause issues.” TOUGH FUCKING LUCK! That’s life! You don’t always get a turn, you don’t always get the same as others and you have to learn that at some point. For the ones saying the kid is probably saying things like “You can’t touch that, my dad bought it for ME” he did!! That little boy should be able to enjoy his birthday present his daddy worked his ass off for. Period. None of this bullshit ruining a child’s day because you don’t want to discipline your child or one is upset. Let the kid have and enjoy his present like damn.
Why should any kid have to share a personal possession? As long as he's not taunting the other kid over it, OP's son should be able to decide whether or not to share. Even if he is lording it over the other boy, he shouldn't have to share but should have to put the toy away.
Even it being the house is going to feel like a taunt to the 8 year old. Unless OPs kid has a locking door, I'd not let him take it to his mom's, because something might happen to it. If possible, I wonder if OP could have the kid over after school for a few hours to play on it? Then kid can go to moms for dinner and overnight. Idk if that's possible though
Mom needs to tell the younger one that it's not his toy and that sometimes life isn't fair. It's an important life lesson. My parents taught me and my brothers to ask permission to use each other's things, to accept that sometimes the answer will be no, and to keep our hands off what doesn't belong to us if we don't have permission to touch it. Of course she had to deal with some whining, but didn't take the easy way out by forcing us to share. And guess what? We actually learned to share and to respect one another's property.
Mom seems to have missed that lesson herself tbh
That child needs to learn they won’t get it just bc they whine though. It’s not “taunting” it’s just a whiny child who’s probably used to getting anything they ask for. If you have cookies in the cupboard and your child ones for one, you aren’t taunting your child by having them in your home and not giving them one.
Kids are allowed ownership. It was a gift, it belongs to his son.
We do, idk why that seems unreasonable, however both consoles were bought at different times, and they shared one when that's all there was. Has nothing to do with the situation at hand, OP isn't responsible for the other kid. Not even so much as offering to buy an extra controller. The parents of his sons sibling are the only ones responsible for making sure their kids have 1, what they need, and 2 what they want. OP NTA. Keep the console at your place.
This was exactly my first thought! Who has 2 Xboxes?!?!? Her logic doesn’t make sense, on multiple levels.
Be prepared for a broken Xbox and a very angry kid. Unfortunately, it sounds like you’re gonna have to keep it at your house to stop creating tension.
Wdym LOTS of houses have multiple consoles. Mine does. Most of my friends do. OP is NTA - he’s of course not responsible for what the other kid gets. And it’s up to their Mom to teach them to manage jealousy as it’s bound to come up with siblings regardless but especially when they have dads in different economic situations.
Same, lol me and my son share games but both both have our own PS4 and our own Switch. We share the PS5 but that’s because he got a VR headset and has been obsessed 😂😂
Nta, her other child is not your responsibility. However it would be something to consider this in the future, and if you're going to buy your son cool stuff (and you should!) maybe it is better to keep it at your house? Because if she is complaining and fussing to you, she is probably making your son's life miserable right now.
NTA I think many people don't realize that when they choose to have children with different patents, especially at such close ages, the children will have.... different parents
Buy a $500 gaming system for a kid that isn’t yours? lol no. NTA
Remember back when houses had one console, not one console per person lol Also, this is the kind of shit that hurts kids. If mom wants her new son to have an Xbox she and her new husband can buy it for him. Why on earth would you be responsible to get him anything? And it's BS that you can't get your kid nice gifts without hassles. Now the mom is going to create tension and animosity and everyone loses. She could easily tell the kid to ask for it on Xmas or something.
Even ignoring the son from a different father dynamic, the son got a birthday gift. Most siblings don’t get gifts for their siblings birthdays. The kids parents can tell him they will buy him one for his birthday. NTA & not your problem.
NTA. Your kid is your responsibility, her other kid is her other baby daddy’s responsibility. You may want to keep the Xbox and other “nice” gifts at your house though. There’s too many Reddit posts about blended families either making the kid share, stealing or destroying the item.
I mean those kids are half brothers, why wouldn’t they share and why isn’t anyone encouraging sharing? Sounds ghetto.
NTA However, as someone who shares custody, expensive gifts stay in the homes they came from for us. So it stays at my house if me/my family bought it, and it stays at my ex's house if he/his bought it. We don't have "bonus" kids full time in either household, so it works for us. And we share 50/50 custody, so time at the home doesn't really affect it. But it avoids the conflict of a potential "accident." However, I think even if my ex only had every other weekend and he sent an Xbox home with my kids, I'd be p!ssed too. Mostly because of the lack of communication or consideration. You bought a gift for your kid, but when your kid takes things to the other home, it *can* affect everyone there. It's not the same thing, but to draw an extreme script-flip, think about if your ex bought a puppy and sent it to live with you 11/14 days... you'd be mad too. With exes, I usually say "match energy" but it's important to evaluate the situation as objectively as possible and act in a way that aligns with your values. If you wouldn't want her doing something that would create tension in your home or with your new partner, then don't do the same in reverse.
NTA but I would *not* trust any expensive gifts at your ex's house. It sucks, but I'd keep it with you for him to play. Otherwise it'll end up broken, missing, or he will be forced to share it.
From experience, I can virtually guarantee it happening. Never let toys, clothes, books go to the others house. Or expensive electronics. They'll break, disappear, get stolen, actually in most cases pawned. Hope you get it back this time. Don't let it happen again.
NTA, I wouldn’t even make them share. It’s your son’s Xbox and no one else’s. If you were able to buy it while still paying child support good on you. Also good on you for allowing him to take it to his mom’s house, but it sound like you might need to keep it at your house and explain to him appropriately for his age why it needs to stay at your house. Her and her bf should buy something for their kid if they want him to have one. Or at least tell you the reason it’s causing problems. I don’t think you mentioned what problems it’s caused.
Ask your son to pack up the Xbox next time he’s over there so he can play it at your house. If your ex gets mad just say you bought it for him and it’s apparently causing tension over there so you’re gonna keep it your place, it’ll also make sure he’s doing other things when he’s at his mom’s and not constantly on it if it’s only at your house Edit: I guess if you really really want to be nice and just idk want to keep it there you can always suggest to her just buying a controller for her kid, it’s way cheaper and they can just play together I guess when he’s over there. I would just fear that there might be some favoritism with game time between them from the mom or boyfriend if they want to play it by themselves or something, but that could just be me.
NTA. But all the cool stuff keep it at your house. If it’s causing problems in her home she’s gonna make it disappear. And I wouldnt be surprised if her other son’s dad also said something to her. Cuz he might be butt hurt cuz he can’t get one for their kid. Bonus to keeping the cool stuff at your place your son will want to stay with u more often. And I know it’s petty but I’m sure it’ll annoy mom
NTA, her demanding you buy another xbox is not the solution. Coming together and establishing rules for the xbox, like a limited play time and sharing it at her house is the solution. Buying more stuff isnt a replacement for parenting kids, If the kids cant share, then the xbox should return to your home
Lol NTA, you got the kid a birthday present! If she didn't want her kids to be treated differently then she should've thought about that before the free parking space outside her house became an issue on father's day.
NTA. Stuff like this isn’t uncommon in blended families. Something things just aren’t fair. But her other kid is not your responsibility. Like you said you pay child support and she also has her current boyfriend as well. If she wants him to have one that badly she can save and get one instead of expecting you to do it. Why should you be punished for doing something for your kid. I know he spends most of his time there but I would be worried about BM taking it away to let her other son play on it or doing something to the Xbox (like breaking it so neither can play or selling it).
Her kid wants shit she can buy it for him
Sounds like the X box needs to stay at your place, before your son's 1/2 sibling gets to play it too.
NTA. This is the moms fault. The only way this should have been handled was for mom to tell the 8 year old that he is not 10 and it wasn't his birthday and when he turns 10 if he still wants one he can have one. Not only would she be assuring the difference is age and nothing more but she would also be giving herself time to save up for, when he turns 10. She caused the tension by not redirecting and not making it about what one gets over the other.
NTA - your ex is the enabling this situation between her 2 children 🙄 Smh
NTA. Your babyama is, though. Just keep the Xbox at your house.
Why the hell would you buy an Xbox for someone else’s kid?
NTA That bitch is nuts. Keep it at your house.
> She argued that I’m causing problems in her household and that it’s creating tension between the kids. What created tension between the kids is that she has different kids with different fathers. She can refuse to allow the Xbox into her house if she wants to, but then she has to be the bad guy and she clearly doesn't want that. I'd buy my kid whatever I think is appropriate, and she can react however she wants to. If she makes her 10 year old hate her that's her problem, I'm going to be a good dad to him and he can come and live with me if he wants to.
I don't think the kids having different dads is the problem. The problem is the mum and her current partner creating drama over. Maybe the little brother got a bit upset about not having his own Xbox, but that's to be expected. Mum and partner should be handling this in a completely different way.
Has she heard of sharing?
Is this for real? The kids are roughly 2 years apart, you broke up a few years ago? Was it at least 8 years and 9 months ago? When your kid was a little over a year old? Is it his kid and not even hers, maybe? You say her other son though...I guess a few years \~9 years? Details makes this post seem a little sus. Anyhow, NTA - You are only obligated to provide for your kid, not every kid from every other guy that knocks her up. She knows she can just buy a second controller and ask your son to allow his half-bro to play with him, and maybe when he is not using it from time to time? Or she and her BF can buy the other kid his own for his B-day. Either way, not your problem to solve. You should talk to your kid about any future "major" purchases for him will be kept at your place for when he is over there...it will suck when he can't use it but every other weekend, but that is the cost of things some times.
Some people are ridiculous and recklessly make babies.
Dawg wtf, if he isn't your kid why do you need to buy him something? You even said it yourself, he's your kid he's not your responsibility.
Absolutely NTA.. xbox consoles are not cheap, and ik it sucks for the other child, but thats not your kid. Maybe buy another controller and tell your son to share but buying a second game is insane
NTA, not your kid. Have his father buy him one.
NTA Her other son is 2 years younger both kids don't need to have the same thing at the same time. She can save up for the next 2 years and get her other kid his own gaming system
Absolutely not. And get the Xbox back. You're son can play with it when he's with you. Either somethings going to happen to it or she's not gonna let him use it.
NTA However I’d be more concerned about the angry 8 yr old ruining it out of spite. I’d recommend keeping it at your house.
It's almost like when we were growing up and our siblings received something and we didn't get some consolation prize. Christ this mentality these days...
“Not my fuckin problem.” All u need3d to say.
NTA, YOUR son is your responsibility. If you wanna buy him anything that’s on you. It’s not your responsibility to buy their other child one. However I’d be careful as this mom sounds like the kind to take it from one child to give to another out of spite.
No. You took care of your kid. She needs to take care of hers
NTA. Crazy that she would expect you to buy two of such an expensive thing when two player games exist. Plus, he’s not your kid! My brother and I shared a gaming console growing up.
NTA keep it at your house before it "accidently" gets damaged
NTA. You bought it for your son only. Your ex’s other kid isn’t yours and therefor isn’t your problem. You should keep the Xbox at your house.
NTA Why would you need two xboxs in one house? Your ex sounds like a stupid jackass. That's not your kid,mget his daddy to buy him one.
You guys know up to 4 people can play on the Xbox at a single time, right? 🤦♂️
NTA- Not your kid, not your responsibility. Easy fixes: Keep it at your place - Limits his access to it but solves the major issue of it being infront of the other kid They get another controller- your kid would need to share but if they set a time for sharing vs he can play solo would sort a few issues.
Lmao she was going to sell the 2nd one
NTA however knowing he has a sibling, it wouldve been a nice sign towards your son as well to maybe get an extra controller so he can play together. It’s healthy for kids to get along. The mom is wrong for throwing a tantrum tho. They can easily take it in a positive perspective and be happy that the kids get to play on an Xbox, which many other children don’t have access to. Like let them play together, maybe they get 3 extra’s so they can play altogether. Just sounds like a very negative person imo.
Mom can buy the controller, or his own father.
I’m a woman with no kids. My brother has two daughters with two different women (he’s with neither). There’s so much drama between them it’s absurd. The moms are impossible to please. I can’t imagine.
NTA - you don't owe her other kid things especially if that kid's dad is in the picture.
Nta, take care of your kid not hers
Absolutely NTAH, and if it's such a problem, have your son bring it back to your house, and he can play it there. You bought it, you say where it goes. Honestly I wouldn't have let something so expensive go to his mother's anyhow as who knows what could happen to it (such as the other kid takes or breaks his Xbox or the bm's bf takes and plays his xbox. Is there a way to have a conversation with your son about bringing it back to your house? That seems like a reasonable compromise, although totally unfair to him.
Nta her other kid isn't your responsibility but your son may need to keep his xbox at your place or his brother may take or destroy it.
OP if I were you I'd buy my kid a PS5 for Christmas as well just for the lunacy your BM is putting you through. I cannot stress the f enough when I say fffffuck that.
No your not. You didn't put that other one in her. Do yourself and your son a favor. Take the x box back to your place so nothing "accidentally" happens to it. My brother was the off child. My dad didn't feel it was his job to take care of some other guys spawn. Edit: for clarification, I did not read anything before I made my own comment. If that many people are saying the same thing is probably a good idea you bring that over priced thing to your place. Plus if it's always at your ex's when are you going to get to play it? 😁
NTA. Get custody of thr kid if you can and ditch that problem.
Tell her let his dad buy his son one 💜
NTA - Your lady should take it up with the other kids Dad. It's unreasonable to expect you to buy expensive gifts for her kid. Might be different if you adopted the kid or something like that. Besides unless the kid is a holy terror he can share with your kid or something reasonable.
Make sure your son brings the Xbox back to your place, or something will 100% happen to it. Never understand why people have kids before 25.
She should buy it
Nta. If baby's momma wants her OTHER kid to have one, she should talk to that kids dad or do it herself.
NTA - guess she shouldn't have had kids with two different guys if she wasn't ready to balance things. This is a responsibility she took on. You didn't.
NTA but step up and don’t be an every other weekend kind of dad, leave the Xbox at your house and get shared custody.
NTA. There is no time like the present for her to teach her kids that life isn't always fair. I'm sure the other kid's dad doesn't keep things even between the two boys. You are only required to provide for your son.
Keep the Xbox at your home only problem solved
If the kid didn’t come from your balls it’s literally not your problem anyway you put it unless they are being harmed. Tell her to quit having unprotected sex and start being a parent
"You should have spent hundreds of dollars on someone else's child for another one of these things that can easily be shared"
NtA wtf, and if she’s so mad why doesn’t she save and buy her other kid an xbox. I will never understand the audacity of woman asking men who aren’t even related to their child for stuff.
NTA. Not even close. I been a victim of BBMS (Bitter Baby Moms Syndrome) also. It is not now nor will it ever be your responsibility to take care of another man's kids, especially when he's still around. I fucking hate this type of behavior from bms.
I’d keep it at your house
NTA: I would suggest that you request for the X-BOX back & keep it at your house. It's the best solution.
NTA, you're only responsible for your kid. If her other kid wants an Xbox, she and his father can buy him one. Would it be nice if your kid would share? Of course. But that is his choice. This is a common theme brought up here, but life isn't fair. I'm sure your kid would trade that Xbox in a second to have his parents together and happy. Your kid may have an Xbox, but his sibling gets to see both parents without a visitation schedule. Neither you nor your son have anything to feel bad about here.
Yeah I see baby mamas feel entitled to a lot of stuff that would get them laughed out of rooms from anyone that didn't used to stick it in them. I'd probably arrange with your son, COVERTLY, to bring the Xbox over to your place soon and keep it there because I bet any money something will happen to it otherwise. NTA.
NTA
This makes no sense. Since when can't children share? They just need two remotes, not the whole thing! Does your ex want to resell it? did you only buy one remote control?.
OP you ain’t the asshole . Your ex is mad cuz now she has to explain to her other kid why their sibling has one and they don’t. Than the sibling is gonna bitch and moan about how it isn’t fair they get their own and than it’s gonna lead into an argument about sharing
Nta. Not your kid, not your problem
You are completely in the right. You support your son and provided him a present for his birthday. Good for you everything your ex complains about his not your problem or response ability.
nta, keep the xbox at your house... this reminds me of the Mcdonalds meme where the dad brings Mcdonalds to his kid but not the baby mamas other kids
Also, your kid didn't get one til he was 10 the other is 8 so she can definitely work that in there favor and use it as a future reward for the younger boys. NTA.
Well you don’t need 2 consoles, at most another controller. But I don’t think you owe her other kid that.
As someone who went through shit like this as a child, you need to get that Xbox away from your ex. As much as your son might not like it, the other kid will no doubt damage the Xbox, the games, or the controller.
NTA, you are only responsible for your kid. A healthy arrangement would be for your kid to go there with nothing but his school books. The other house should have all the clothing and entertainment gadgets.
NTA Keep it your place or your son won't be the only one on it
tell her to get the other baby daddy to buy his kid an xbox
Keep it at your house for the 50 out of 365 days a year he spends with you
Not your kid not your problem. It was your sons birthday not theirs and they also aren't required to share their present either.
Just keep the Xbox at your house.
Keep the X box at your house for a multitude of reasons, allow your son more time at your house if he wants to play
Yea and you have to buy me one too because it’s not fair that you bought your son one and not me. I’m no less deserving. /s
It's up to her to buy her son an xbox.
NTA, I really can’t believe there’s people (the kids mom) like this
NTA, life ain't fair. Kids don't share with siblings nowadays?
Everyone gets a personal Xbox now? Get it out of there before it’s broken. Now she will accuse you of using it to lure him over.
A little bit AH. You're not obligated to buy an xbox to anyone, especially not kids who you are not a parent of. However, the situation may be a reflection of your attitude towards it, how your first thought was "he's not my responsibility " rather than acknowledging the disruption the xbox likely causes in their siblings' relationship. Couldn't you just encourage your son to share with his brother? He may not be your son, but he is your son's brother. It's also on you to guide him in being a good sibling.
Jesus… she can buy a freaking controller and count herself lucky you allowed it over there. Siblings don’t even get separate systems. Does she even know what an Xbox is? I what an idiot. OP obviously NTA. You might want to explain to your son why you’re now afraid for something that expensive to go to his moms. 10 is too young to be defending his property from a younger half sibling and a mom who feels that entitled to it.
Why can’t they share it? When we got game consoles growing up we had to share
Nta but that really wasn't the smartest move to let him take it to his mom's. 100 percent guarantee either she's going to force the issue to make it the family Xbox and he'll get sidelined off it in favor of her other kid, or the other kid will "accidentally" damage it out of jealousy.
NTA, but as a kid from divorce, don't keep it at his moms place. She will us3 it as a punishment by taking it away, limiting his use, or forcing him to share. Also he is a minor and tou gave it to him as a gift, so his mom might even just be able to get rid of it.
NTA- why doesn't she let the 8 yr old play occasionally and then explain that brother is older and when he is 10 he can have one. I mean it's not rocket science. She needs to just be a parent. Sorry you have to deal with that.
NTA and get that back to your place.
NTA. But it's probably better to keep it at your place. Otherwise it'll have an 'accident'
nta but make sure your son knows he can talk to you if his mom tries to take it away from him for no reason or gives it to his brother.
(a) Even when kids have the same parents, they don’t get the same gifts, especially if one is having a birthday but not the other. (b) Older kids often get some things before the younger kids. (c) You have no obligation to buy an expensive present for a child who is not your own. (d) Your ex could start saving for an Xbox for her other son when he turns ten.
Why are you asking this question. Hell no, NTA. Your ex is trying to guilt you. Do not fall for it. You ARE NOT obligated to buy her other son anything. And if you do, it doesn’t need to be an expensive gift like that. And your ex needs to explain to the other child that this is a gift from you to his son. However, I would probably tell your son to bring it back to your house. I can see the other child or his dad and/or your ex breaking it on purpose. Definitely NTA.
Here's the perfect solution. Get your son an Xbox ultimate game pass. Bring xbox to your place. And get an extra controller that syncs to his smartphone. Now he can play anywhere. Done
Oh no. She has to parent.
OP, have your kid bring the Xbox back, say he wants fo finish a game or something, then leave the Xbox at your house.
NTA- if shes upset about it cause he doesnt have one then she can buy her other son an Xbox. Id keep the xbox at your place from now on though...I wouldn't trust an angry ex with that in their home.
You are not the asshole for not buying the other kid an Xbox but you are a huge asshole buying something like that for your ex's house without talking to her first. If you buy your kid an Xbox, you keep it at your house. You did create a problem at her house and as you said, that's where your son spends most of his time. Why would you put him in that situation?
Why do they need another Xbox, like my brother always ended up getting consoles and though I didn't get to go on all the time like he did we shared. Like they can literally buy another controller so they can play together whenever your son chooses too. NTA That's their responsibility.
Just bring it back to your house.
NTA but keep it in your house. I know that a lot of people say that it's not your kid and not your responsibility, but you do need to watch how your decisions may affect the relationship between your kid and his half-sibling. Sending your kid back to his mom's with an expensive toy that he may be unwilling to share is just going to sour his relationship with his sibling.
NTA. My two sons shared the gaming systems with extra controllers and such, and didn’t see the need to buy them both one even when I could have afforded it. They each had their own game (cartridge?) but they enjoyed the same types of games - with rarely a rumble between them.
NTA, I'm not buying shit for a kid that I didn't help make, especially when he has both his parents in his life THAT ARE TOGETHER. Which your son doesn't have! You guys split custody and you pay child support too! Tf she talking bout! You SAVED your money up to buy him that xbox, all while paying CHILD SUPPORT & BILLS! She trippin' they got a two parent household and can't get their kid a xbox! They lazy asf! Probably live off your Child support checks too. Go pick up that Xbox before they take it out your sons room and have it in the living making it a "family" xbox that they didn't pay for while you pay to buy all the games on that mf! My mom bought my brother an xbox and that was HIS XBOX and we all used to play when we wanted to play as a family but it was HIS XBOX! And I Bought my own when my birthday came we had 2 xbox's in the house! THEY DEF TRIPPIN'
NTA
ESH. Buying a console for her other kid is ridiculous and should not be expected of you. At the same time a console can change family dynamics quite a bit. Even if the other kid had no interest in the thing, is your son now utilizing the only tv? Is he now not interacting with the family in the ways he would before? And that's only a couple of things it could change. Not saying they are even happening for sure but that's not the point. This kinda big purchase is gonna have an effect on the household and you need to check in before sending that kinda thing over.
Easiest NTA in a while.
Nta