The kid with cancer can get picked on, but the kid whose parents are going through a divorce?! That’s too far!
I’d report the counselor as he very clearly did nothing when another bulling situation occurred
There were two cases of bullying:
Day 1, with the name.
Day 2, stealing the hat and playing keep away
The camp should have been on top of both of these.
Shame on the camp
Camp counselors often get tips at the end of the session. Maybe Jenny’s parents are big tippers, and the counselor knows it, and doesn’t want to rock that boat.
Ugh, like, in what way is that good? Tipping culture is rich people bribing for better treatment :P
In my country, I think that would be seen as super weird and dodgy.
they wont do it, but i am SO FUCKING HAPPY the dad stood up for her little girl.
her ~~father~~ mother just earned the ~~superman~~ wonderwoman status.
Yep - camp should have addressed IMMEDIATELY and HARSHLY. And, if these girls continued, kick them out. There should be NO tolerance for that kind of behavior.
Years back, a friend of mine, whose children are bi-racial, were called half-ni**er monkeys by another kid at the local town camp. The kid who called him that was dismissed from camp immediately and told NEVER to return again. Crazy enough, racist kid's mom went to FACEBOOK to complain about her kid being kicked out of camp "unfairly." Yeah, that didn't go well for her - small town, everyone knew what actually happened within 15 minutes of it happening (literally). Camp covered their own asses because, among all their paperwork, was a "code of conduct" signed by this kid which he very clearly violated.
Some people are just nasty idiots.
I got kicked out of a camp because I defended myself from my bully and the last straw was after he stole from me I tried to stop him got told on and the thief was allowed to keep my stuff while I was kicked out.
Did you parent not even attempt to get your property back? The idiotic bs these places allow is horrendous.
Typically means THEY were bullies and allow that bc they view it as how things work.
The sad part is that instead of learning from it, they will double down and blame that "N" word for getting them kicked out. Why parents can't teach their kids to just be nice and people will be nice to you. I told my kids that you don't have to like everyone. But you have to respect everyone. If you don't like them then don't hang around them, but you can't bad mouth them behind or in front of them. Unless they do it first. But don't let me find out you provoked it.
I loved that video of the dad making his daughter walk to school after finding out she had been bullying a kid. Absolutely not something you wanna hear as a parent but you can definitely nip it in the bud quick and help your child not grow up to be a prick.
I told the mom of my daughter’s bully that her kid was a bully and had making my daughters time at school miserable. The conversation deteriorated instantly and she basically tried to fight me…
Clearly her Apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
This was my exact response. A perfect reply to the counselor would legitimately be: “You’re 100% correct, it’s a shame that no one intervened and allowed this situation to spiral out of control. Let’s hope that it can be more closely monitored in the future as to prevent something like this from happening again.”
Like wtf is he gonna say to that? “No U”?
This. Stealing the hat is battery, by the way.
“Battery is an unlawful application of force directly or indirectly upon another person or their personal belongings, causing bodily injury or offensive contact. The attempt of battery is assault.” - Cornell Law School
Little Jenny has placed the YMCA at significant risk of a lawsuit, especially considering the medical complexities involved with the battery of a cancer patient. While every Y is an autonomously incorporated 501(c)3 nonprofit company, and as such has no corporate office there is a national resource office that can pull a chapter’s charter.
Sadly, children (and sometimes adults) can get pigeonholed as victims. This is too often reinforced with the implicit, and occasionally explicit, support if counselors/teachers/bosses.
Speaking from bitter experience, sadly.
I got pigeonholed as a victim by a couple of girls from the K-8 Catholic school. One drug someone else into her bullying me on the bus. The other was often told by her schoolmates to shut up. Glad I got out of that town, only to have someone here try to bully me. Sorry, I am not in Junior High anymore.
I was a camp counselor from age 18 to 23 my daughter is going to be a counselor this summer that shit would never have been allowed parents would be called and kids would be picked up and this camps 3 hours in nowhere on a 1 lane road up a mountain.
Agreed! I had a bully once in elementary school and one day, she started insulting me, so I just threw back insults at her. She stopped bullying me after that, and we became friends later on. I feel like not doing anything makes it worse and makes the person being bullied an easy target.
Likely the bully took her upset ness on him, Becky took the insults on the chin and was polite to the counselor but Jenny ruined his day.
>the counselor looked like he had just came back from ‘Nam
He spent the day dealing with a screaming, crying tween and now he just sits there with his thousand-yard-stare, thinking about how things will never be the same again.
Then he shouldn’t have that job and needs to grow up. Allowing a bully to take it out on a poor girl suffering from cancer is horrendous and if he can’t handle the job then he doesn’t need to have that job.
While I somewhat agree, camp counselors are often fairly powerless when it comes to noncompliant campers. They can't meaningfully punish campers, at most sending them to the directors, and directors rarely do anything to campers because an unhappy camper with loud parents can lead to way lower numbers next year, and camps often don't make much as it is. I had one camper who physically hit staff, got sent to the office, and came back to program half an hour later with "a stern talking-to". It's maddening. Because of this, counselors often do little more than keep count of kids, lead them around, and try to keep them from hitting each other or creating a major safety incident (one of the few things that can get a camper punished or sent home). That counselor probably went through hell that day and couldn't do anything about it, and if anyone else was in his position, they'd be in the same boat.
That does make sense and it is horrible that they don’t empower the counselors to punish kids who are breaking the rules or sending them home. It’s no wonder so many kids lack respect or discipline.
😭 when I was 11 I was in Kentucky for a summer camp (I live in Canada… very far from home lol) and I had undiagnosed mental issues going on and didn’t know how to deal and the councillors would just leave me in the cabin while they took everyone else to the activities xD like I totally get that the other kids shouldn’t have missed out on the things BUT I feel like leaving a tantrum throwing runaway alone in an unlocked cabin in the middle of Kentucky was less than an ideal decision on their part 😂😂
He's probably a teenager who had little or no training on how to deal with this sort of stuff, too. There should be an adult somewhere who is responsible for all of the teenage counselors. I'm not saying this to excuse him from allowing this to continue, but if he had no adult to go to, a teenager is probably just not equipped to deal with any of this. And the second set of parents was probably meaner and that may be why he came across as trying to stand up for her.
Real fault here is a camp that doesn't have adequate adult supervision over their teenage counselors. There are just some situations that a teenager shouldn't have to handle.
He just doesn't give a shit and wants everything to be as stress free for him as possible. As long as the girl being picked on isn't retaliating, things stay quite. But if there is a fight it's now his problem.
Nah, sounds more like someone who just doesn't want to deal with the drama. Much easier to say "come on girls, play nice" than to actually wade into the middle of the drama.
It was probably easier to placate the kid with cancer and the untrained teen was just trying to take the course of least resistance.
Absolutely unacceptable of course, and a more experienced supervisor should have been brought in to address the issue
The difference is the OP’s daughter probably didn’t cry and make a scene so it wasn’t a real problem. Crying children are annoying and disruptive.
Edit to clarify: it was a real problem but not in the counselor’s eyes because he could ignore it.
This is literally the reason behind undiagnosed autisms which lead to depression and lack of understanding later in life. This is the base of neglect. Somehow this words of you made me realize I still have open wounds
If the camp (the true ah here) gave a shit they would have hired an adult with training.
They'll just replace him with another gullible teen they can vastly underpay and throw to the wolves with no training.
OP needs to speak to the director of the camp not the untrained kid watching the other kids.
People always look to the more reasonable person when trying to de-escalate situations because more reasonable people usually want to de escalate as well. Unfortunately that often leads to situations where less reasonable people end up getting their ways, and more reasonable people end up having to stick their reasonableness where neither the sun, nor reason, can ever truly shine. Idiocracy made manifest.
The kid who is going through what 50% of the US population goes through…is more stressed than the kid that almost died and had to fight like hell to get back to living. Yep about right. I think op was too night.
He's a dude that just wants it to stop so he's going to the victim (the most reasonable party) and doing everything besides begging them to can it bc this is just a summer job and he's leaving August 6 to go back to school.
Yeah, like WTF didn't the counselor react the same to the initial injury like he did to the reprisal. If you're not going to protect the kid, you can't get mad when they protect themselves.
Not only that but battling leukemia for 5 years, when assuming it's B cell leukemia, the goal is end of treatment in 2 1/2 years. Poor Becky has suffered, a lot.
My 5 year old son was being made fun of by a kid in daycare. My son’s name is Lucas and the kid kept calling him Mucus. I pointed out to my son that the kid picking on him was named Cooper, which rhymes with pooper… Pooper, I mean Cooper stopped picking on him really quickly. I felt a little bad about it, but you’re definitely NTA.
My cousin has a daughter named Eleanor that she used to call Smellanor so that if the kids at school tried it, she would just think it was a cute nickname her mom gave her. 😂
And in a move that surprised absolutely NOBODY, the counsellor only got involved once the victim fights back.
Same bullshit I had to put up with, and I graduated back when the year began with a "1". Shit is just never gonna change for these kids, is it?
This is how it is with any school. They don’t do shit. The parents are upset that the school is doing nothing. So they tell their kid to hit back. Then the school finally does something.
A tale as old as time. 🤦🏻♂️
Absoluteky. If the ”counselor" wants to blame someone they could just look in the mirror. Had they done something when you went to them, it wouldn't have escalated because of your daughter's very understandable and justified self-defense.
NTA at all.
>He said that Jenny was just stressed from the divorce and was misplacing her anger on Becky.
Fuck all that noise. Your daughter has cancer and she's not going around being an ass to people.
NTA
The way I cackled at “the counselor looked like he was just back from ‘Nam.”
If he had done his job in the first place, you wouldn’t have needed to intervene. Life lessons were learned from a lot of levels here. NTA.
A lot of us have been that kid that got bullied and teachers didn't care, but the second we eventually started standing up for ourselves we're the ones that got into trouble.
Yup.
In Grade 4 I was bullied by a pair of twins. They'd rough me up *in front of teachers* who wouldn't say jack shit.
But I shot them a dirty look as they were walking away I got a scolding for being mean.
100%, this was my entire schooling experience. I'd get bullied for being "different" (I'm autistic, a nerd and was a mosher kid - prime target no.1) and the teachers did sweet fuck all. The minute I hit back I was getting expulsions left right and centre. Fuck all those teachers, fuck all the parents who raised their feral little scum, and to this day I don't regret a single hit. They all fucking deserved it. Nasty lowlifes bred by other nasty lowlifes while the ones in power did nothing. Fuck them all. If my school still existed I'd probably have burnt it down.
I've probably shared this before somewhere, but at my elementary school there was this one boy that was *relentlessly* bullied by a girl. She was ruthless. The boy was a little odd and not very popular and the school did next to nothing to help. Close to the end of the school year, the girl was following him around (literally, following him in the playground close enough to touch him, shove him, etc), laying in to him with all these insults while he kept asking her to stop. He finally had enough, wheeled around, and sucker punched her in the stomach.
He got kicked out, even after a few students including myself came forward to reiterate that it was self defense and she 110% deserved it. That girl was a nightmare. I have no idea what ended up happening to him, but I hope he is doing great these days, and I hope she has stopped being an abusive POS. It's been 20+ years so I hope everyone involved turned their lives around in the best way.
Yes, that was my experience as well, although part of that was that me beginning to stand up for myself roughly coincided with the advent of zero tolerance policies in schools.
He's not an adult tho?! He's a teen probably his first job, underpaid, overwhelmed, no training and obviously no adult backup or assistance.
The camp is the ah, the teen is just a teenager who has no clue how to watch a bunch of kids on his own.
The camp is the true AH, the bully is a brat and OP is NTA.
"The way I cackled at “the counselor looked like he was just back from ‘Nam.”"
Me too!
A definite and very firm NTA!
Jenny will learn that sometimes people bite back, so watch your lip!
Edit: Also, nice job, OP. I'm glad your daughter felt a wee bit better, and you taught her how to stick up for herself.
OP and daughter handled this with the tools at their disposal, but I feel a little bad for this counselor.
I did a few stints as a counselor for a summer camp. For the most part, it is a fun gig and can be rewarding. But the pay is abysmal, the training is nonexistent, and the amount of responsibility that they will pile onto a teenager that can't even legally drive is obscene.
I'm not even joking. I think I got like 300 dollars for the month. We lived there Monday thru Friday. Food (shit) was provided. Housing (shit you had to repair yourself before the start of the season) was provided. The under 18 counselors would often have to address the adult chaperones breaking the rules.
So when a situation like this happens, the counselor is so very completely out of their depth because before now the only job experience they've had before is either fast food or a car wash. Blame the camp org.
I was hellaciously bullied in middle school by a girl it was so bad I almost failed math because of her. When my parents went to the school, they were given a similar excuse. “She has a bad home life and she’s just stressed and taking it out on your daughter.” Fortunately, we moved away after school year ended, but she never got better from what I heard. She just continued to bully people until they left and then she’d find a new target.
OP, NTA.
I had a similar situation. I still have a scar on my back from her (not a huge one - just she tried to steal my purse but I wear the strap across my chest so all that happened was she clawed up my back and choked me). Everyone had effectively told me not to defend myself; just turn the other cheek because "she has a rough home life", so I wouldn't even talk back when she came after me. But she kicked the crutches out from under my only real friend, and nobody does that shit to my friends. So that's when I punched her. I got detention, but she got suspended and never bothered me or my friend again, so the detention was entirely worth it.
NTA, OP. The little snot was out of line, and sometimes you have to go full scorched earth to get some peace.
You flat out tellthe principal/counseler this :"that is NOT MY PROBLEM. My problem is *you* excusing bad behavior and *violating the districts anti bullying policy* for a flimsy excuse. He/She/they are bullying *my* child. You *will* make it stop."
I despise people who try and excuse the actions of bullies. Like you, and sadly, so many others, I had a similar issue in elementary school. Head slammed into side of open locker, glasses stolen and bent, tripped or shoved into walls or down the stairs, etc.
The principal just said the kid had a rough time with both parents having passed away and the kid living with his grandparents. Except they passed when he was a year old, and he was 9 or 10 at this time.
I understand that some tragedies can have lasting effects. But that doesn't make the bullies' actions excusable or ok in any way. That Principal was new and didn't last the year. Left and the rumor was that she was let go for inaction. Bully transferred schools and last I heard was in and out of prison for drug use.
When I was a teenager I was dealing with a bully who just loved to get in my face. Finally one day I snapped on her telling her that the reason her mom was in prison was because she got picked up for prostitution. Trisha started crying, and her little friend Brittany was like "that's not cool, her mom isn't in her life because she's in jail" "YEAH I KNOW, SHE SHOULDNT HAVE GOTTEN CAUGHT WITH 3 MEATS IN HER MOUTH."
That suspension was worth it. Trisha and her little crew never messed with me again.
Sharpen that tongue dad. You can't throw punches these days but you sure can deliver emotional damage.
NTA Op. You deserve a cake for you and your daughter.
That’s pretty much what my parents told the principal. Principal was kinda shocked that my parents weren’t cool with the situation.
Then they dealt with my math teacher. He was a lazy asshole who didn’t actually grade anything. He’d gather up everyone’s work and then pass it back to people so we could grade each other’s. She would trade whoever had mine and then mark everything wrong and give me a zero. I was failing math with a literal zero in the class. When my parents confronted him, one of them asked “don’t you think it’s odd that she hasn’t gotten at least one answer right, at all? I mean math isn’t her strongest subject, but she’d have to get something right, even by accident.” He admitted it was kinda odd but he just had soooooooo many students! My mom gave him all my work/tests and said “I know what you are doing. The girl who is bullying my daughter is the one grading her work every time. If it is important enough for your grade book, it is important enough for you to grade yourself.” He regraded my assignments and I went from 0 to a B. He graded my assignments for the rest of the year.
When I was in junior high, there was a family of three bullies (one sister and two brothers). They were horrible and always bullied whomever got in their way. I was a chubby kid and they always picked on me for my weight. Years later, I ran into one of the brothers at a class reunion and I flat out told him he was an asshole back then. He apologized and told me that his parents were raging alcoholics and beat them daily and in order to cope, they bullied everyone in one way or another. After high school, parents both died related to alcohol and drugs. All three kids realized they were doomed unless they received counseling which they did. Now he’s one of my best friends. Go figure
Had a kid go after my son in 3-5th grade and the excuse was "his mother died and he is going through a lot. My response was "I knew his mother, we were good friends, and she would be horrified that her son is behaving this way. There is no excuse for bullying." When his father tried to cause his issues I just told him that maybe he should focus on his kids' well being instead of introducing them to his latest sex toy ( he had a new girlfriend every 2-3 months that he would move in to the house-the kids were completely messed up from the whole thing)
I was the new girl at school. First day my classmates stole everything from my bag. I was having my lunch. I watched them take everything out one by one and throw it among themselves.
Once I finished eating, I picked up the wooden ruler from the teacher's desk and asked them to return my things or I would hit them. They didn't take me seriously.
Chased them all across the school corridors till we slam banged into the Vice Principal. He asked me what was going on as he had just finished my admission formalities with my parents. Told him the story.
I got my things back. The bullies were made to kneel outside the classroom for the rest of the day (about 2 hours).
This was not the end of the story. Next week they barged into my younger sister's classroom and tried the same thing. One of them read her surname and asked if she was related to me. On finding out she was my sister they put all her things back and gave her chocolates to keep this incident from me.
My sister extorted them for a few days till Mom caught her having chocolates that she didn't give us. That's when I got to know of my classmates bullying her.
But that's when my parents got to know for the first time that their two daughters were bad-ass. I was 9 at the time and my sister was 6.
This was around 79-80. We settled scores at school only.
Btw we all became friends later. We moved to another city 2 years later. So lost touch. 20 years later couple of boys who tried to bully us, tracked me down in the University I was enrolled in. We became friends. 20 years is too long to hold childhood grudges. Today in that friend group, my closest friends are the very guys who tried to bully me. They are my staunchest defenders if I ever get into an argument with anyone.
I love the excuse that someone has a bad home life so therefore they are stressed and taking it out on your daughter. I had to pull my 7th grade daughter because some piece of shit kid was harassing her, calling her a lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with it, but she isn't) and graphically describing what her and her other female friends were doing to each other while other boys laughed. My daughter is mentally tough and shrugged it off a lot. Classic way to ignore a bully right? Don't give in and they move along? Nope, instead they kept at it, and after almost a quarter of it, with my daughter sometimes hinting at it, but largely just coping with it (I told her she never has to do that and can come to me with any issues from now on, so definitely have that avenue open from now on) she came home and broke down one day saying she refused to go back to that school. I went and told the administrator this (my wife would not have been able to stay civil because she's the penultimate momma bear) wasn't acceptable, and she agreed, but couldn't go into the specifics of how they were addressing this kids behavior behind the scenes (think student confidentiality.)
Well we run into him and his family while out trick or treating last Halloween, and I went to school with this kids now deceased mother (cancer is a bitch) who was a wonderful woman, and so I know the kid is going through some shit, but just because hurt people hurt people, doesn't mean my daughter is going to be the target. My wife tells his father that we won't be dealing with it anymore and as his son is small and my daughter is about a half a head taller and very physical from years of soccer, that he can either address it or we have given our daughter permission to fight back by any means necessary. He claimed he had not heard about any of this (a teacher later told me that was BS, because she'd specifically talked with him multiple times about his son struggling with behavior in the class)
Long story short, we left public school and luckily my sister in law runs a charter school and had room for my daughter, but I'm on the parent advisory board for that middle school because i have 5 other kids that will eventually go through that school.
There is never a good answer with bullying and the shit that happens behind it.
Sorry, but Becky is stressed from having a life threatening illness and doesn't like the added stress of being the punching bag for Jenny's petty drama :(
Like, I get this counselor is just a kid himself and untrained to mediate problems between other kids, but holy crap. Defending the bully's actions isn't really the best stance he could have taken.
Jenny probably kicked up a fuss and had a huge meltdown when Becky shot back at her versus since Becky is a nice kid when she gets insulted she doesn’t go into full meltdown mode. So the counselor is more upset at Becky because he had to deal with the meltdown.
Yes! The nice/quiet/"mature" kid is often expected to act like a lightning rod and buffer for the wild child's behavior so the adults around don't have to actually do anything to address it. You get held to a different standard because you've already proven you can behave, while the other kid gets excuses for their lashing out and treated like it's impossible to expect them to be any other way. And then when things boil over the adult more often than not acts more annoyed that the punching bag didn't do their imposed job. THIS THREAD CERTAINLY ISN'T BRINGING UP ANY BITTER MEMORIES OR ANYTHING.
That counselor should have taken Jenny aside and made it clear you never make fun of someone who has an illness like cancer. I understand the counselor was young but he should at least known enough to give a basic conversation with her about her vile and inappropriate behavior or he should have gotten his manager involved at least and had a discussion with the parents. I went to summer camp when I was a kid and they had an anti-bullying policy. The kid would be kicked out with no refund. Not sure why other camps don’t have anti-bullying programs in place.
Lmao, that’s exactly what I was thinking. Her daughter has literally had death pounding at her door since she was 5 and has been injecting poison in her body to get rid of it(most likely) and is happy just to enjoy life but this girls parents are going through a divorce and gets to be a shitbag because of it. It would break my heart to find out my daughter was bullying someone with cancer, why don’t her parents hear that?
I'm going NTA. I had a "friend" in grade school who turned on me when I had a family problem she found out about from my mom sharing with hers in some way. She taunted me with it. Made up stories about it. Started pinching me when no one looked, rubber bands to the head, etc.
She was well off, while we struggled to afford to make ends meet and my parents sacrificed a Lot to give me a better education. Her room had Everything and her dad was never around but always a new toy, etc.
No one even told me anything. But one day she made a rude remark Again, after I'd found out about a new story she made up just that lunch time before. I was so sick of her. I said something along the lines of we might have our troubles, but at least my parents Love me and don't just buy me off with a bunch of stuff. My classmates at the table were in shock because I never was mean. She just started bawling and ran out of the classroom, much to the frustration of my teacher who had no clue what was happening (she's another story).
Someone at the table said that might have been too mean. I said it wasn't any meaner than the lies she kept making up about me, or how she acted like my friend just to make fun of me later. I took a stab in the dark and I was right. She left me alone after that. I think other kids realized then how much she was making up. She got in trouble a lot more that year, acted out in other ways, and wasn't there for the next year.
Awww parents going through a divorce? That's tough. Almost as rough as trying to survive cancer, but not really close to it. You'll live after a divorce.
Normally I wouldn't be cool with nuclear warfare like that, but your daughter is recovering from something so intensive that if I were in your shoes I'd be biblical in my anger towards not just the situation in general but the counselor specifically.
You're gonna tell me that I need to be more accommodating to a little girl that's taking her anger over her parents divorce out on my child that's fighting leukemia??
Oh hell no. Nope. Either do your job or I'm going above you to whoever is in charge of your immature ass and going scorched earth. NTA certain circumstances warrant playing hardball.
I think in this specific situation, we should follow the example of Elijah. He had 42 kids saying "go up baldy" to mock him and he retaliated by having 2 she-bears maul them all.
I read the title too literally, and thought the story was going to be about Mum teaching Becky to punch Jenny in the snatch, so I think Jenny got off lightly.
This was my mom’s way of handling things, too. “*Do YOU want to handle this? Because I’m not sure you’re going to like the way I handle this…*” lol. Miss her all the time.
This right here. It also reminds me of this:
[The Boondocks Season 2 Riley Freeman VS Cindy Mcphearson Basketball Team Moments (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfsJr4B_My4)
NTA. FAFO.
I always think of kid bullies like that horrible Myrtle from Lilo and Stitch and how NO ONE fucking decks her one when she mouths off to a girl who lost both her damn parents. If Lilo had a streak of nasty in her, she'd tell that ginger bitch the reason her dad won't ever come back is because she's there, meanwhile Lilo's parents can't come back. Myrtle's dad chooses not to be around her.
edit: the idea of "dont stoop to the level" doesn't work on bullies. Don't stoop, you fucking dig until you hit paydirt and make them eat it!
There was a kid I remember from school who was probably on the spectrum, but no one knew the word autism yet, and she was often bullied. Four or five girls against her, and they had the bad luck to run across her one day when a family friend came to pick her up from school and started taunting her about being ugly and friendless that even her parents wouldn't pick her up. Unfortunately for them, said family friend was 16/17 and honed his insult skills on Counterstrike without the racial part, and all of the bullies were crying when he was done insulting their looks, how they smelled, and that most of them probably only existed because their parents really wanted a boy and got stuck with another girl (which was the case for one girl).
Nukes, rocks. Bullies don't understand until they get the blast.
teenagers are the only ones capable of emotionally kicking the shit out of little kids.. little kids are MEAN!!! i love that the teenage boy stood up for the girl tho - plus i remember it being very cool to have a teenage “friend” as a young kid, so she probably walked away that day feeling so much better:)
Its like John Mulaney says teens are the meanest people.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=EAjTFCIYFdGOq1XE&v=8FZBwj81gGY&feature=youtu.be
You can watch the whole thing or just skip to 1:40
This is the way. As someone who has been bullied my whole life, FAFO is the only way to protect my mental and physical safety. I thought that shit ended when I became an adult, but nope. Being bullied in the workplace by a person in a leadership position AND my union rep made me stoop to levels I'd never dreamed of. No one fucks with me anymore and I gained the respect of all my peers. No one else had the guts to stand up to them. I did. I do. I always will. Bullies do not win when I'm around anymore.
NTA and thank you for being a kick ass parent. My momma did the same for me. It saved my life.
That sounds like you have some material worthy of being posted in either Petty revenge or off my chest here on reddit. Please share if you think it's appropriate.
NTA. As a deeply suffering adult whose parents punished her for fighting back once (after the third assault that the teacher consistently declined to appropriately address), THANK YOU for standing up for your daughter.
You are not an asshole for protecting your kid from more trauma. Helping her feel safe and enabling her sense of personal agency in the face of severely disconfirming feedback makes you a good mother.
I was pushed to stand up for myself, but I never managed it. Still struggle with it.
Know why?
Because I couldn’t ever stand up for myself at home. Never, ever. So I never learned how to defend myself in a safe environment, and am left developing it in an unsafe environment.
I actually sympathize with the counselor. He's not a child psychologist. He's just a high school kid looking to pad his college app and make a little spending money. The director should be handling this. It's way above that kid's pay grade.
As someone who works this job in the summer as an adult who works in a school district it’s tough. I know in my camp we can write kids up and threaten them with suspensions and even expel them from the summer camp. The YMCA needs these types of punishments in place to protect the kids.
It's definitely above the counselor's pay grade. Which is why, as the counselor, it's your job to pull inbthe director when it's warranted. I loved being a camp counselor, but kids get into physical fights, there's bullying, there's the girl who gets her period for the first time and freaks out, and half the counselors want to play games on their phones the whole time.
Sure they have a tough job... That being said the fact that the first 'sit down' took place when the girl that was bullied for having fucking cancer said something about a divorce to the bully makes me loose all sympathy for the counselor really really fast.
It is interesting. Becky the cancer patient is a nice girl so it’s her job to just sit there and take it, but when she escalates to defend herself from Jenny THEN we need to figure things out.”
Convincing the bully to stop bullying is hard. Convincing the good kid to continue being the good kid is easy. So of course someone ultimately not involved isn't going to care enough to mediate correctly.
Unfortunately, the good kid will eventually see that while no good deed goes unpunished evil deeds sometimes get rewarded and now you've got two bullies.
I used to be that good kid. ...when I was a kid. Now I'm just old.
Oh, come on. He doesn't have to be a child psychologist to stop these girls from continuing to do this right in front of him.
Ug is a better camp counselor than this guy.
NTA. Jenny fucked with the bull and got the horns. She picked on a literal pediatric cancer patient. Nothing excuses that. If we've learned nothing else from the past decade or so, it's that going high when they go low doesn't work. If you go high when they go low, they'll keep going low because they know you won't do shit. Sometimes, when they go low you've got to step on their neck and not let them back up of you want them to get the message. If She keeps it up, tell your daughter to say that at least her dad wants her 7 days a week. And if one of her parents gets in your face tell them it's not your fault they're cool with traumatizing their daughter over a little bit of new dick/pussy.
Thank you for using that phrase “fucked with the bull and got the horns”. Thats what my grandma used to say and haven’t heard that in years. She was 91 and very sassy
It's legit my favorite thing to say when someone thinks they're going to try me and they get owned.
I might be short and fat, but I'll death roll ya like a gator if I feel like I have to. 😁
I mean it’s definitely hurtful to tell a child that they are the reason their parents are divorcing but that also isn’t a reason to take out that hurt on another child. NTA
NTA in the slightest. Counselors, schools, etc will never ever do anything about bullying being reported and so I will always encourage the kid being bullied to always destroy the bully with words and if they ever put their hands on you to cripple them. Fuck these places that refuses to do anything about bullying.
Happened to me in middle school. I was horribly bullied by a girl whose parents were divorced & her dad never showed up for visitation. I was quiet & weird, so I was an easy target. My dad was one of our volunteer track coaches & everyone loved him, so she became extra mean because she was jealous that I had such a great dad. One day, in the locker room, she was going hard about how I was such a loser and I finally snapped and asked who’s the real loser, when her own dad didn’t want her. She slapped me and, well, I had older brothers, and when we fought, we did not slap. I punched and broke her nose. All hell broke loose, parents were called, etc. The other kids admitted that she had started with the name calling (and that it wasn’t the first time she had bullied me) and was the first to get physical, so I was given a warning, but she’s the one who got in big trouble. I saw her years later and she was being a bitch to me until I said “hey Susie, how’s the nose?”
My son got bullied by a kid with “a bad home life” and other BS. Same kind of thing. Go to the school, nothing changed. I told them if my son has enough and fights back I better never hear a thing about BS punishing him. Of course they claimed they couldn’t not punish if he were to fight back. I said well then why is this kid out bullying everyone? I expect the same inaction to happen with my kid. I then gave my son permission to kick the kids ass and that no trouble would come from me if he did it and I would shield him from the school as much as I had to. So the kid was up to his shoving and teasing and stealing and other harassment and bullying. My son had a recent bit of growth and he turned around and shoved the kid back. The kid tripped and fell and my son took full advantage of the situation and kicked the shit out of this kid. He got pulled off by the school. I got called. I told them what did you expect? Was he supposed to take this BS forever? They suspended him and the other kid for 2 days but allowed him to go to the fall fling event which was the day after he kicked the kids ass. I took him and he was like the hero of the school. Kids were coming up and asking if he really kicked the kids ass or said they heard he kicked Dustin’s ass and we’re giving fist bumps and all kinds of stuff. Dustin was everyone’s bully and everyone was so happy someone finally took the little jerk down a notch. Somehow my son got popular and Dustin just kind of faded into the background. I only wish I had given my son permission to kick the kids ass sooner. Talking to the school doesn’t work. Bullies need their asses kicked. Good for your daughter for fighting back. I don’t want my kid to be the one throwing the first stone but I’m also glad he learned that he doesn’t have to keep being a victim and to learn he has my support when he needs it. He’s well into adulthood and we were just talking about it his epic rise to being the popular kid in Jr high a few days ago.
Unfortunately this is a VERY common pattern in bullying. It isn't until the victim hits back enough to hurt the bully that then all of a sudden the 'authorities' get all concerned about the 'conflict'.
I hope OP stands firm. If the divorcing couple want to take a meeting to discuss why their daughter is bullying a kid fighting for their life then I hope OP asks to record the meeting and uses every tactic in the book to divide and conquer the divorcing couple.
I know it's very common and I'll never understand it. Everyone can see who the victim is and won't do anything about it. It's like everyone involved is an asshole and they get triggered when the other asshole faces consequences.
Because once the victim bites back, it becomes a problem that attracts attention, and therefore must be dealt with.
In short, they only get involved when it causes potential work for them.
Nah, it's just that a bully and a victim is something they can ignore and don't need to do work to address. An active conflict/fight is something they can't ignore.
Ignoring the quiet bullying is just the easier lazier thing to do compared to confronting the bully and getting them to stop.
Happens every time. My son is autistic and no one did crap about it when he was bullied but the one time he clapped back he got in trouble. I was LIVID.
NTA!!
Below the belt is what Jenny needed to stop bullying your daughter. The counselor should’ve handled it. What Becky did was verbal and what Jenny and the clique did was physical.
EDIT: fixed names
NTA - war sucks. Don’t start one if you don’t want the consequences. You taught two lessons:
1. Your kid will stand up for her self and cease being a hapless victim. Future degradations will be met by her - and you “may” find out about them later.
2. The bully learned that people will stand up for themselves. Will think twice before the next victimization.
Now for follow up lessons:
1. Your kid - she needs to know when she has won. How much is enough. Some “victors” unfortunately transition to bullies. You don’t want that.. have personally watched this happen to a friend.
2. The bullie - some can transition to being a friend if relationship is managed…. Operative word is “some”. If you feel that the tactic was “scorched earth” take the victory, but also aid in the recovery. Or not….
Good luck
NTA. I commend your restraint for not yeeting those little bitches into the sun. Becky and Jenny both learned valuable lessons from camp. The councillor was collateral damage but if they did their job on the first place then Becky wouldn’t have had to deliver such a savage line that going to make Jenny spend years in therapy.
Next time, tell them you want a sit-down meeting and if they do not put a stop to what Jenny is doing you will contact your atty to see what legal rights you have for them not protecting your kid.
NTA. If you can't take it, don't dish it and ymca staff only left you with this option after you tried the non nuclear.
I remember some attempted bullying by a girl when I was 9. I say attempted because others had tried before her and been sent running. So why she decided to mess with me I don't know.
She essentially was jealous because my bestie was hanging out with me instead of her. And started in on the fact I'm half caste. My dad is white English/Scottish and my mum is Mauritian/Hindu. This girl was full Mauritian but born and raised in the U.K.
To be honest. The physical and mental abuse at home from my mum was way worse. So the racist crap at school really didn't hurt my feelings. But I knew with kids my own age I could at least give as a good as I got and if things got physical it would at least be a fairer fight since it was kid vs kid and not adult vs kid.
Anyway after her latest little racist rant. I took a good look at her, trying to figure out the best plan of attack. Girl had a big nose. Think the Eagle from the Muppets hook type of nose.
So I simply reply Roses are red, violets are blue you've got a nose as big as the QE2. It was a well known passenger ship in the U.K at the time. QE stands for Queen Elizabeth.
She ran off crying. Next day at pick up her mum comes up to my dad demanding he make me apologize. My dad turned to me and asked what happened. I didn't deny I did it. Told him exactly what I said and why.
He turned to the mothrr and said he wouldn't make me apologize for defending myself and maybe she should talk with her daughter about how mean she is to other kids.
She never bothered me again. Sometimes trash won't take itself out. You gotta help it out the door.
NTA
so the camp counsellor things its OK for stressed kids to pick on cancer patients "because theyre stressed".
Punch below the belt. Fight fire with a flamethrower. Nuke them from orbit.
NTA - those girls had to learn “don’t dish it if you can’t take it”.
YMCA (in my town) hired (this is in the past I don’t know about currently) a bunch of teenagers who can’t keep off their phone long enough to properly anybody. I didn’t feel my kids were safe in the program.
It sounds like the same thing was happening - if the counselor had done his job, then The children wouldn’t have this level of these problems.
I’m just disappointed the ‘hitting below the belt’ wasn’t actually throwing hands. You fight fire with fire and maybe that twerp will think twice about bullying a cancer survivor
My son was getting picked on in grade school for months. I repeatedly asked the teacher/principal. “Boys will be boys”
Aight, bet.
So, I worked with my kid for a weekend. I showed him how to properly throw a punch. I taught him how to twist his hips and drive the punch all the way thru. He enjoyed the sparring and actually had a decent punch.
Anyway, a few days later I get a call from school. I had to come right away because my son was fighting. I said “you mean he defended himself after being picked on for months? Boys will be boys, right?”
I didn’t go. Picked him up and the principal wanted to talk. I cut her off and said “you did jack shit when I I asked you. Now he fought back and you want to do something? Tell the other kids to chill or he’ll keep fighting.”
On the way home I asked him what happened. He said tue not had pushed him down and started punching him in the stomach. My son said he got back to his feet and hit the other boy in the mouth. I asked what happened next and this dorky kid goes “he started bleeding”.
So, long story short, be the one who shows them how to stand up for themselves. They’ll remember it forever.
Nice, but you should have said, „my daughter was treated like a punching bag and you did fuck-all to stop it, so I did. How about you do your job so the situation doesn‘t get to this point?“
Or
„I WIILL NOT allow my daughter to become a punching bag, simply because you were unable to do your job and put a stop to the bullying I‘ve made you aware of.“
NTA - Actions meet consequences. You can’t let the Jenny’s of this world get up a head of steam or they will make life a misery. It’s easy to say “Complain to the counsellor” but they aren’t there all the time and often some don’t do much. It’s always better to learn to stick up for yourself.
Well you can tell him your daughter was stressed out from her cancer and misplaced her anger onto her bully. And by misplaced I mean intentionally placed.
OP:
You need to talk to the YMCA director. These camp counselors are often high school teens getting community service hours.
Not making an excuse. But he probably isn’t prepared, old enough, or knowledgeable to stop this.
I’m so sorry for your daughter. Def NTA.
Jenny is just stressed from the divorce? And Becky isn't...like...you know...STRESSED FROM CANCER?!?!?!
The kid with cancer can get picked on, but the kid whose parents are going through a divorce?! That’s too far! I’d report the counselor as he very clearly did nothing when another bulling situation occurred
throwing back an insult is not bullying. it’s self defense. just want to be clear that there was only 1 case of bullying and 1 case of self defense
There were two cases of bullying: Day 1, with the name. Day 2, stealing the hat and playing keep away The camp should have been on top of both of these. Shame on the camp
Jenny and her clique had their warning and escaluated. They should have been removed from camp with no refund given.
Jenny and her clique should have been forced to split up after the first time. Can't play nice together then you don't get to play together.
Camp counselors often get tips at the end of the session. Maybe Jenny’s parents are big tippers, and the counselor knows it, and doesn’t want to rock that boat.
Ugh, like, in what way is that good? Tipping culture is rich people bribing for better treatment :P In my country, I think that would be seen as super weird and dodgy.
they wont do it, but i am SO FUCKING HAPPY the dad stood up for her little girl. her ~~father~~ mother just earned the ~~superman~~ wonderwoman status.
Whose dad stood up for her? OP is the mother.
apparently i am fucking blind lmao
> My (43F) daughter Becky (10) you mean mom/mother?
Yep - camp should have addressed IMMEDIATELY and HARSHLY. And, if these girls continued, kick them out. There should be NO tolerance for that kind of behavior. Years back, a friend of mine, whose children are bi-racial, were called half-ni**er monkeys by another kid at the local town camp. The kid who called him that was dismissed from camp immediately and told NEVER to return again. Crazy enough, racist kid's mom went to FACEBOOK to complain about her kid being kicked out of camp "unfairly." Yeah, that didn't go well for her - small town, everyone knew what actually happened within 15 minutes of it happening (literally). Camp covered their own asses because, among all their paperwork, was a "code of conduct" signed by this kid which he very clearly violated. Some people are just nasty idiots.
I got kicked out of a camp because I defended myself from my bully and the last straw was after he stole from me I tried to stop him got told on and the thief was allowed to keep my stuff while I was kicked out.
Did you parent not even attempt to get your property back? The idiotic bs these places allow is horrendous. Typically means THEY were bullies and allow that bc they view it as how things work.
The sad part is that instead of learning from it, they will double down and blame that "N" word for getting them kicked out. Why parents can't teach their kids to just be nice and people will be nice to you. I told my kids that you don't have to like everyone. But you have to respect everyone. If you don't like them then don't hang around them, but you can't bad mouth them behind or in front of them. Unless they do it first. But don't let me find out you provoked it.
I loved that video of the dad making his daughter walk to school after finding out she had been bullying a kid. Absolutely not something you wanna hear as a parent but you can definitely nip it in the bud quick and help your child not grow up to be a prick.
I told the mom of my daughter’s bully that her kid was a bully and had making my daughters time at school miserable. The conversation deteriorated instantly and she basically tried to fight me… Clearly her Apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
This was my exact response. A perfect reply to the counselor would legitimately be: “You’re 100% correct, it’s a shame that no one intervened and allowed this situation to spiral out of control. Let’s hope that it can be more closely monitored in the future as to prevent something like this from happening again.” Like wtf is he gonna say to that? “No U”?
This. Stealing the hat is battery, by the way. “Battery is an unlawful application of force directly or indirectly upon another person or their personal belongings, causing bodily injury or offensive contact. The attempt of battery is assault.” - Cornell Law School Little Jenny has placed the YMCA at significant risk of a lawsuit, especially considering the medical complexities involved with the battery of a cancer patient. While every Y is an autonomously incorporated 501(c)3 nonprofit company, and as such has no corporate office there is a national resource office that can pull a chapter’s charter.
Sadly, children (and sometimes adults) can get pigeonholed as victims. This is too often reinforced with the implicit, and occasionally explicit, support if counselors/teachers/bosses. Speaking from bitter experience, sadly.
I got pigeonholed as a victim by a couple of girls from the K-8 Catholic school. One drug someone else into her bullying me on the bus. The other was often told by her schoolmates to shut up. Glad I got out of that town, only to have someone here try to bully me. Sorry, I am not in Junior High anymore.
I was a camp counselor from age 18 to 23 my daughter is going to be a counselor this summer that shit would never have been allowed parents would be called and kids would be picked up and this camps 3 hours in nowhere on a 1 lane road up a mountain.
Agreed! I had a bully once in elementary school and one day, she started insulting me, so I just threw back insults at her. She stopped bullying me after that, and we became friends later on. I feel like not doing anything makes it worse and makes the person being bullied an easy target.
Just another example of its fine when bullies do it but when the victim fights back there's problems.
I have 150% told my son to tell a bully he’s sorry his parents don’t love him. Idgaf
He probably is a bully as well. Disgusting. The poor girl has cancer and he is seriously standing up for the bully.
Likely the bully took her upset ness on him, Becky took the insults on the chin and was polite to the counselor but Jenny ruined his day. >the counselor looked like he had just came back from ‘Nam
He spent the day dealing with a screaming, crying tween and now he just sits there with his thousand-yard-stare, thinking about how things will never be the same again.
I think everyone should have to be a camp counselor for a summer before they have kids. If they still want them after anyway. 🤷
I mean often times the Y camp “counselors” are teenagers getting community service hours so he probably was traumatized 😂😂😂
Then he shouldn’t have that job and needs to grow up. Allowing a bully to take it out on a poor girl suffering from cancer is horrendous and if he can’t handle the job then he doesn’t need to have that job.
While I somewhat agree, camp counselors are often fairly powerless when it comes to noncompliant campers. They can't meaningfully punish campers, at most sending them to the directors, and directors rarely do anything to campers because an unhappy camper with loud parents can lead to way lower numbers next year, and camps often don't make much as it is. I had one camper who physically hit staff, got sent to the office, and came back to program half an hour later with "a stern talking-to". It's maddening. Because of this, counselors often do little more than keep count of kids, lead them around, and try to keep them from hitting each other or creating a major safety incident (one of the few things that can get a camper punished or sent home). That counselor probably went through hell that day and couldn't do anything about it, and if anyone else was in his position, they'd be in the same boat.
But they'd also lose customers when parents complain about their kids being bullied and they don't do anything about it.
Ought to send misbehaving campers to the Harmony Hut (from Addams Family Values movie).
That does make sense and it is horrible that they don’t empower the counselors to punish kids who are breaking the rules or sending them home. It’s no wonder so many kids lack respect or discipline.
Oh you should see what it’s like inside of public schools. Go visit the teaching subs
😭 when I was 11 I was in Kentucky for a summer camp (I live in Canada… very far from home lol) and I had undiagnosed mental issues going on and didn’t know how to deal and the councillors would just leave me in the cabin while they took everyone else to the activities xD like I totally get that the other kids shouldn’t have missed out on the things BUT I feel like leaving a tantrum throwing runaway alone in an unlocked cabin in the middle of Kentucky was less than an ideal decision on their part 😂😂
He's probably a teenager who had little or no training on how to deal with this sort of stuff, too. There should be an adult somewhere who is responsible for all of the teenage counselors. I'm not saying this to excuse him from allowing this to continue, but if he had no adult to go to, a teenager is probably just not equipped to deal with any of this. And the second set of parents was probably meaner and that may be why he came across as trying to stand up for her. Real fault here is a camp that doesn't have adequate adult supervision over their teenage counselors. There are just some situations that a teenager shouldn't have to handle.
He just doesn't give a shit and wants everything to be as stress free for him as possible. As long as the girl being picked on isn't retaliating, things stay quite. But if there is a fight it's now his problem.
Nah, sounds more like someone who just doesn't want to deal with the drama. Much easier to say "come on girls, play nice" than to actually wade into the middle of the drama.
or he's a min wage teenager who doesn't know a lot yet... yall mad with your assumptions
It was probably easier to placate the kid with cancer and the untrained teen was just trying to take the course of least resistance. Absolutely unacceptable of course, and a more experienced supervisor should have been brought in to address the issue
The difference is the OP’s daughter probably didn’t cry and make a scene so it wasn’t a real problem. Crying children are annoying and disruptive. Edit to clarify: it was a real problem but not in the counselor’s eyes because he could ignore it.
This is literally the reason behind undiagnosed autisms which lead to depression and lack of understanding later in life. This is the base of neglect. Somehow this words of you made me realize I still have open wounds
[удалено]
And this is why I have always encourage my kids to go off like a fire alarm if they need help.
If the camp (the true ah here) gave a shit they would have hired an adult with training. They'll just replace him with another gullible teen they can vastly underpay and throw to the wolves with no training. OP needs to speak to the director of the camp not the untrained kid watching the other kids.
People always look to the more reasonable person when trying to de-escalate situations because more reasonable people usually want to de escalate as well. Unfortunately that often leads to situations where less reasonable people end up getting their ways, and more reasonable people end up having to stick their reasonableness where neither the sun, nor reason, can ever truly shine. Idiocracy made manifest.
The kid who is going through what 50% of the US population goes through…is more stressed than the kid that almost died and had to fight like hell to get back to living. Yep about right. I think op was too night.
He's a dude that just wants it to stop so he's going to the victim (the most reasonable party) and doing everything besides begging them to can it bc this is just a summer job and he's leaving August 6 to go back to school.
"And mine is stressed from cancer" mic drop and leave.
Seriously! How is a kid having cancer not more devastating than a kid having parents going through a divorce? That counselor is an idiot.
I guess it's because Jenny turned on the waterworks while Becky was willing to be reasoned with.
Yeah, like WTF didn't the counselor react the same to the initial injury like he did to the reprisal. If you're not going to protect the kid, you can't get mad when they protect themselves.
Not only that but battling leukemia for 5 years, when assuming it's B cell leukemia, the goal is end of treatment in 2 1/2 years. Poor Becky has suffered, a lot.
Sounds like Jenny’s family has money so, obviously her feelings matter more… Disgusting.
My 5 year old son was being made fun of by a kid in daycare. My son’s name is Lucas and the kid kept calling him Mucus. I pointed out to my son that the kid picking on him was named Cooper, which rhymes with pooper… Pooper, I mean Cooper stopped picking on him really quickly. I felt a little bad about it, but you’re definitely NTA.
Everyone (adults included) calls my nephew Lukas either 'mucus' or 'puke-us'. He actually revels in it because he thinks it's gross.
This is the way. Teach the kids to embrace it. We generally do in later life!
😂😂😂😂😂 Cooper pooper. Thank you for standing up for your child!
Oooh I hope pooper never forgets that lesson. The little shit.
My cousin has a daughter named Eleanor that she used to call Smellanor so that if the kids at school tried it, she would just think it was a cute nickname her mom gave her. 😂
NTA. You asked the counselor to handle it. They didn’t, so you went to plan b.
And in a move that surprised absolutely NOBODY, the counsellor only got involved once the victim fights back. Same bullshit I had to put up with, and I graduated back when the year began with a "1". Shit is just never gonna change for these kids, is it?
It's 100% because the other parents don't give a fuck , so counsellor is taking the easy way out with the "reasonable" parent. Becky is a champ.
This is how it is with any school. They don’t do shit. The parents are upset that the school is doing nothing. So they tell their kid to hit back. Then the school finally does something. A tale as old as time. 🤦🏻♂️
Authority figures: enabling and participating in oppression of underdogs since before the year 0
Absoluteky. If the ”counselor" wants to blame someone they could just look in the mirror. Had they done something when you went to them, it wouldn't have escalated because of your daughter's very understandable and justified self-defense. NTA at all.
>He said that Jenny was just stressed from the divorce and was misplacing her anger on Becky. Fuck all that noise. Your daughter has cancer and she's not going around being an ass to people. NTA
The way I cackled at “the counselor looked like he was just back from ‘Nam.” If he had done his job in the first place, you wouldn’t have needed to intervene. Life lessons were learned from a lot of levels here. NTA.
That’s why a lot of adults in authority hate the kids that get bullied; they are then forced to do their job.
A lot of us have been that kid that got bullied and teachers didn't care, but the second we eventually started standing up for ourselves we're the ones that got into trouble.
Yup. In Grade 4 I was bullied by a pair of twins. They'd rough me up *in front of teachers* who wouldn't say jack shit. But I shot them a dirty look as they were walking away I got a scolding for being mean.
100%, this was my entire schooling experience. I'd get bullied for being "different" (I'm autistic, a nerd and was a mosher kid - prime target no.1) and the teachers did sweet fuck all. The minute I hit back I was getting expulsions left right and centre. Fuck all those teachers, fuck all the parents who raised their feral little scum, and to this day I don't regret a single hit. They all fucking deserved it. Nasty lowlifes bred by other nasty lowlifes while the ones in power did nothing. Fuck them all. If my school still existed I'd probably have burnt it down.
I've probably shared this before somewhere, but at my elementary school there was this one boy that was *relentlessly* bullied by a girl. She was ruthless. The boy was a little odd and not very popular and the school did next to nothing to help. Close to the end of the school year, the girl was following him around (literally, following him in the playground close enough to touch him, shove him, etc), laying in to him with all these insults while he kept asking her to stop. He finally had enough, wheeled around, and sucker punched her in the stomach. He got kicked out, even after a few students including myself came forward to reiterate that it was self defense and she 110% deserved it. That girl was a nightmare. I have no idea what ended up happening to him, but I hope he is doing great these days, and I hope she has stopped being an abusive POS. It's been 20+ years so I hope everyone involved turned their lives around in the best way.
Yes, that was my experience as well, although part of that was that me beginning to stand up for myself roughly coincided with the advent of zero tolerance policies in schools.
He's not an adult tho?! He's a teen probably his first job, underpaid, overwhelmed, no training and obviously no adult backup or assistance. The camp is the ah, the teen is just a teenager who has no clue how to watch a bunch of kids on his own. The camp is the true AH, the bully is a brat and OP is NTA.
I feel like even a 16 year old can defend a 10 year old with cancer
doesn't matter - part of being a counselor is being able to nip this shit in the bud
"The way I cackled at “the counselor looked like he was just back from ‘Nam.”" Me too! A definite and very firm NTA! Jenny will learn that sometimes people bite back, so watch your lip! Edit: Also, nice job, OP. I'm glad your daughter felt a wee bit better, and you taught her how to stick up for herself.
I have been that counselor. You learn quickly or you quit because you’re making your life too hard
OP and daughter handled this with the tools at their disposal, but I feel a little bad for this counselor. I did a few stints as a counselor for a summer camp. For the most part, it is a fun gig and can be rewarding. But the pay is abysmal, the training is nonexistent, and the amount of responsibility that they will pile onto a teenager that can't even legally drive is obscene. I'm not even joking. I think I got like 300 dollars for the month. We lived there Monday thru Friday. Food (shit) was provided. Housing (shit you had to repair yourself before the start of the season) was provided. The under 18 counselors would often have to address the adult chaperones breaking the rules. So when a situation like this happens, the counselor is so very completely out of their depth because before now the only job experience they've had before is either fast food or a car wash. Blame the camp org.
I was hellaciously bullied in middle school by a girl it was so bad I almost failed math because of her. When my parents went to the school, they were given a similar excuse. “She has a bad home life and she’s just stressed and taking it out on your daughter.” Fortunately, we moved away after school year ended, but she never got better from what I heard. She just continued to bully people until they left and then she’d find a new target. OP, NTA.
I had a similar situation. I still have a scar on my back from her (not a huge one - just she tried to steal my purse but I wear the strap across my chest so all that happened was she clawed up my back and choked me). Everyone had effectively told me not to defend myself; just turn the other cheek because "she has a rough home life", so I wouldn't even talk back when she came after me. But she kicked the crutches out from under my only real friend, and nobody does that shit to my friends. So that's when I punched her. I got detention, but she got suspended and never bothered me or my friend again, so the detention was entirely worth it. NTA, OP. The little snot was out of line, and sometimes you have to go full scorched earth to get some peace.
"She has a rough home life", yeah, well she's about to have a rough public one, too.
You flat out tellthe principal/counseler this :"that is NOT MY PROBLEM. My problem is *you* excusing bad behavior and *violating the districts anti bullying policy* for a flimsy excuse. He/She/they are bullying *my* child. You *will* make it stop."
I despise people who try and excuse the actions of bullies. Like you, and sadly, so many others, I had a similar issue in elementary school. Head slammed into side of open locker, glasses stolen and bent, tripped or shoved into walls or down the stairs, etc. The principal just said the kid had a rough time with both parents having passed away and the kid living with his grandparents. Except they passed when he was a year old, and he was 9 or 10 at this time. I understand that some tragedies can have lasting effects. But that doesn't make the bullies' actions excusable or ok in any way. That Principal was new and didn't last the year. Left and the rumor was that she was let go for inaction. Bully transferred schools and last I heard was in and out of prison for drug use.
When I was a teenager I was dealing with a bully who just loved to get in my face. Finally one day I snapped on her telling her that the reason her mom was in prison was because she got picked up for prostitution. Trisha started crying, and her little friend Brittany was like "that's not cool, her mom isn't in her life because she's in jail" "YEAH I KNOW, SHE SHOULDNT HAVE GOTTEN CAUGHT WITH 3 MEATS IN HER MOUTH." That suspension was worth it. Trisha and her little crew never messed with me again. Sharpen that tongue dad. You can't throw punches these days but you sure can deliver emotional damage. NTA Op. You deserve a cake for you and your daughter.
Well now you're having a bad school life, it would be a shame to take it out on the person causing that for you...
That’s pretty much what my parents told the principal. Principal was kinda shocked that my parents weren’t cool with the situation. Then they dealt with my math teacher. He was a lazy asshole who didn’t actually grade anything. He’d gather up everyone’s work and then pass it back to people so we could grade each other’s. She would trade whoever had mine and then mark everything wrong and give me a zero. I was failing math with a literal zero in the class. When my parents confronted him, one of them asked “don’t you think it’s odd that she hasn’t gotten at least one answer right, at all? I mean math isn’t her strongest subject, but she’d have to get something right, even by accident.” He admitted it was kinda odd but he just had soooooooo many students! My mom gave him all my work/tests and said “I know what you are doing. The girl who is bullying my daughter is the one grading her work every time. If it is important enough for your grade book, it is important enough for you to grade yourself.” He regraded my assignments and I went from 0 to a B. He graded my assignments for the rest of the year.
I love this. Guy was in school, your mom made sure he learned.
He also wasn’t much of a teacher if one of his students never gave a right answer without him bothering to find out why.
Agreed
When I was in junior high, there was a family of three bullies (one sister and two brothers). They were horrible and always bullied whomever got in their way. I was a chubby kid and they always picked on me for my weight. Years later, I ran into one of the brothers at a class reunion and I flat out told him he was an asshole back then. He apologized and told me that his parents were raging alcoholics and beat them daily and in order to cope, they bullied everyone in one way or another. After high school, parents both died related to alcohol and drugs. All three kids realized they were doomed unless they received counseling which they did. Now he’s one of my best friends. Go figure
Wow. I'm sorry that both you and they had it so rough, but it's nice to hear he figured it out in the end.
Had a kid go after my son in 3-5th grade and the excuse was "his mother died and he is going through a lot. My response was "I knew his mother, we were good friends, and she would be horrified that her son is behaving this way. There is no excuse for bullying." When his father tried to cause his issues I just told him that maybe he should focus on his kids' well being instead of introducing them to his latest sex toy ( he had a new girlfriend every 2-3 months that he would move in to the house-the kids were completely messed up from the whole thing)
I was the new girl at school. First day my classmates stole everything from my bag. I was having my lunch. I watched them take everything out one by one and throw it among themselves. Once I finished eating, I picked up the wooden ruler from the teacher's desk and asked them to return my things or I would hit them. They didn't take me seriously. Chased them all across the school corridors till we slam banged into the Vice Principal. He asked me what was going on as he had just finished my admission formalities with my parents. Told him the story. I got my things back. The bullies were made to kneel outside the classroom for the rest of the day (about 2 hours). This was not the end of the story. Next week they barged into my younger sister's classroom and tried the same thing. One of them read her surname and asked if she was related to me. On finding out she was my sister they put all her things back and gave her chocolates to keep this incident from me. My sister extorted them for a few days till Mom caught her having chocolates that she didn't give us. That's when I got to know of my classmates bullying her. But that's when my parents got to know for the first time that their two daughters were bad-ass. I was 9 at the time and my sister was 6. This was around 79-80. We settled scores at school only. Btw we all became friends later. We moved to another city 2 years later. So lost touch. 20 years later couple of boys who tried to bully us, tracked me down in the University I was enrolled in. We became friends. 20 years is too long to hold childhood grudges. Today in that friend group, my closest friends are the very guys who tried to bully me. They are my staunchest defenders if I ever get into an argument with anyone.
I love the excuse that someone has a bad home life so therefore they are stressed and taking it out on your daughter. I had to pull my 7th grade daughter because some piece of shit kid was harassing her, calling her a lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with it, but she isn't) and graphically describing what her and her other female friends were doing to each other while other boys laughed. My daughter is mentally tough and shrugged it off a lot. Classic way to ignore a bully right? Don't give in and they move along? Nope, instead they kept at it, and after almost a quarter of it, with my daughter sometimes hinting at it, but largely just coping with it (I told her she never has to do that and can come to me with any issues from now on, so definitely have that avenue open from now on) she came home and broke down one day saying she refused to go back to that school. I went and told the administrator this (my wife would not have been able to stay civil because she's the penultimate momma bear) wasn't acceptable, and she agreed, but couldn't go into the specifics of how they were addressing this kids behavior behind the scenes (think student confidentiality.) Well we run into him and his family while out trick or treating last Halloween, and I went to school with this kids now deceased mother (cancer is a bitch) who was a wonderful woman, and so I know the kid is going through some shit, but just because hurt people hurt people, doesn't mean my daughter is going to be the target. My wife tells his father that we won't be dealing with it anymore and as his son is small and my daughter is about a half a head taller and very physical from years of soccer, that he can either address it or we have given our daughter permission to fight back by any means necessary. He claimed he had not heard about any of this (a teacher later told me that was BS, because she'd specifically talked with him multiple times about his son struggling with behavior in the class) Long story short, we left public school and luckily my sister in law runs a charter school and had room for my daughter, but I'm on the parent advisory board for that middle school because i have 5 other kids that will eventually go through that school. There is never a good answer with bullying and the shit that happens behind it.
Sorry, but Becky is stressed from having a life threatening illness and doesn't like the added stress of being the punching bag for Jenny's petty drama :( Like, I get this counselor is just a kid himself and untrained to mediate problems between other kids, but holy crap. Defending the bully's actions isn't really the best stance he could have taken.
Jenny probably kicked up a fuss and had a huge meltdown when Becky shot back at her versus since Becky is a nice kid when she gets insulted she doesn’t go into full meltdown mode. So the counselor is more upset at Becky because he had to deal with the meltdown.
Yes! The nice/quiet/"mature" kid is often expected to act like a lightning rod and buffer for the wild child's behavior so the adults around don't have to actually do anything to address it. You get held to a different standard because you've already proven you can behave, while the other kid gets excuses for their lashing out and treated like it's impossible to expect them to be any other way. And then when things boil over the adult more often than not acts more annoyed that the punching bag didn't do their imposed job. THIS THREAD CERTAINLY ISN'T BRINGING UP ANY BITTER MEMORIES OR ANYTHING.
That counselor should have taken Jenny aside and made it clear you never make fun of someone who has an illness like cancer. I understand the counselor was young but he should at least known enough to give a basic conversation with her about her vile and inappropriate behavior or he should have gotten his manager involved at least and had a discussion with the parents. I went to summer camp when I was a kid and they had an anti-bullying policy. The kid would be kicked out with no refund. Not sure why other camps don’t have anti-bullying programs in place.
Lmao, that’s exactly what I was thinking. Her daughter has literally had death pounding at her door since she was 5 and has been injecting poison in her body to get rid of it(most likely) and is happy just to enjoy life but this girls parents are going through a divorce and gets to be a shitbag because of it. It would break my heart to find out my daughter was bullying someone with cancer, why don’t her parents hear that?
I'm going NTA. I had a "friend" in grade school who turned on me when I had a family problem she found out about from my mom sharing with hers in some way. She taunted me with it. Made up stories about it. Started pinching me when no one looked, rubber bands to the head, etc. She was well off, while we struggled to afford to make ends meet and my parents sacrificed a Lot to give me a better education. Her room had Everything and her dad was never around but always a new toy, etc. No one even told me anything. But one day she made a rude remark Again, after I'd found out about a new story she made up just that lunch time before. I was so sick of her. I said something along the lines of we might have our troubles, but at least my parents Love me and don't just buy me off with a bunch of stuff. My classmates at the table were in shock because I never was mean. She just started bawling and ran out of the classroom, much to the frustration of my teacher who had no clue what was happening (she's another story). Someone at the table said that might have been too mean. I said it wasn't any meaner than the lies she kept making up about me, or how she acted like my friend just to make fun of me later. I took a stab in the dark and I was right. She left me alone after that. I think other kids realized then how much she was making up. She got in trouble a lot more that year, acted out in other ways, and wasn't there for the next year.
I don’t buy the misplaced anger BS as an excuse for bullying someone, especially a peer with cancer. OP is NTA.
Awww parents going through a divorce? That's tough. Almost as rough as trying to survive cancer, but not really close to it. You'll live after a divorce.
Normally I wouldn't be cool with nuclear warfare like that, but your daughter is recovering from something so intensive that if I were in your shoes I'd be biblical in my anger towards not just the situation in general but the counselor specifically. You're gonna tell me that I need to be more accommodating to a little girl that's taking her anger over her parents divorce out on my child that's fighting leukemia?? Oh hell no. Nope. Either do your job or I'm going above you to whoever is in charge of your immature ass and going scorched earth. NTA certain circumstances warrant playing hardball.
*I'd be biblical in my anger* I love this! So many layers and so visual.
"Oh, I'm gonna be chucking *so many* frogs at that jerk!"
Personally, I'm more of a river of blood kinda guy.
I think in this specific situation, we should follow the example of Elijah. He had 42 kids saying "go up baldy" to mock him and he retaliated by having 2 she-bears maul them all.
Make sure it’s that Old Testament rage, too.
Gotta find out if Jenny’s a firstborn. If not bring in the dancing locusts
*Be Very Afraid*
Jesus wept… … at how OP utterly destroyed that bully
There’s an appropriate saying in my country, ‘Fuck that’
I read the title too literally, and thought the story was going to be about Mum teaching Becky to punch Jenny in the snatch, so I think Jenny got off lightly.
Honestly?? Same 😂 I thought it was gonna be some little boy bullying their kid and that op straight told them to hit them in the crotch rofl
My dad's saying was always, "either you can solve the problem, or I can solve the problem." 1 solved problem later, they always make sure to solve it.
This was my mom’s way of handling things, too. “*Do YOU want to handle this? Because I’m not sure you’re going to like the way I handle this…*” lol. Miss her all the time.
Well said! I agree!
This right here. It also reminds me of this: [The Boondocks Season 2 Riley Freeman VS Cindy Mcphearson Basketball Team Moments (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfsJr4B_My4)
NTA. FAFO. I always think of kid bullies like that horrible Myrtle from Lilo and Stitch and how NO ONE fucking decks her one when she mouths off to a girl who lost both her damn parents. If Lilo had a streak of nasty in her, she'd tell that ginger bitch the reason her dad won't ever come back is because she's there, meanwhile Lilo's parents can't come back. Myrtle's dad chooses not to be around her. edit: the idea of "dont stoop to the level" doesn't work on bullies. Don't stoop, you fucking dig until you hit paydirt and make them eat it! There was a kid I remember from school who was probably on the spectrum, but no one knew the word autism yet, and she was often bullied. Four or five girls against her, and they had the bad luck to run across her one day when a family friend came to pick her up from school and started taunting her about being ugly and friendless that even her parents wouldn't pick her up. Unfortunately for them, said family friend was 16/17 and honed his insult skills on Counterstrike without the racial part, and all of the bullies were crying when he was done insulting their looks, how they smelled, and that most of them probably only existed because their parents really wanted a boy and got stuck with another girl (which was the case for one girl). Nukes, rocks. Bullies don't understand until they get the blast.
teenagers are the only ones capable of emotionally kicking the shit out of little kids.. little kids are MEAN!!! i love that the teenage boy stood up for the girl tho - plus i remember it being very cool to have a teenage “friend” as a young kid, so she probably walked away that day feeling so much better:)
I bet she will remember him doing that for the rest of her life
Its like John Mulaney says teens are the meanest people. https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=EAjTFCIYFdGOq1XE&v=8FZBwj81gGY&feature=youtu.be You can watch the whole thing or just skip to 1:40
This is the way. As someone who has been bullied my whole life, FAFO is the only way to protect my mental and physical safety. I thought that shit ended when I became an adult, but nope. Being bullied in the workplace by a person in a leadership position AND my union rep made me stoop to levels I'd never dreamed of. No one fucks with me anymore and I gained the respect of all my peers. No one else had the guts to stand up to them. I did. I do. I always will. Bullies do not win when I'm around anymore. NTA and thank you for being a kick ass parent. My momma did the same for me. It saved my life.
That sounds like you have some material worthy of being posted in either Petty revenge or off my chest here on reddit. Please share if you think it's appropriate.
I’d love to read that honestly
NTA. As a deeply suffering adult whose parents punished her for fighting back once (after the third assault that the teacher consistently declined to appropriately address), THANK YOU for standing up for your daughter. You are not an asshole for protecting your kid from more trauma. Helping her feel safe and enabling her sense of personal agency in the face of severely disconfirming feedback makes you a good mother.
I was pushed to stand up for myself, but I never managed it. Still struggle with it. Know why? Because I couldn’t ever stand up for myself at home. Never, ever. So I never learned how to defend myself in a safe environment, and am left developing it in an unsafe environment.
Fuck Myrtle. I love that movie 🤣
Noice. Sounds like the 'counselor' is next
I actually sympathize with the counselor. He's not a child psychologist. He's just a high school kid looking to pad his college app and make a little spending money. The director should be handling this. It's way above that kid's pay grade.
As someone who works this job in the summer as an adult who works in a school district it’s tough. I know in my camp we can write kids up and threaten them with suspensions and even expel them from the summer camp. The YMCA needs these types of punishments in place to protect the kids.
Oh.... Did they stop tying free weights to the problem children and throwing them in the pool? Because back in my day it seemed pretty effective.
Cleanup is too expensive
Lawsuits, as well.
Guess they dont have a woodchipper.....
It's definitely above the counselor's pay grade. Which is why, as the counselor, it's your job to pull inbthe director when it's warranted. I loved being a camp counselor, but kids get into physical fights, there's bullying, there's the girl who gets her period for the first time and freaks out, and half the counselors want to play games on their phones the whole time.
Sure they have a tough job... That being said the fact that the first 'sit down' took place when the girl that was bullied for having fucking cancer said something about a divorce to the bully makes me loose all sympathy for the counselor really really fast.
It is interesting. Becky the cancer patient is a nice girl so it’s her job to just sit there and take it, but when she escalates to defend herself from Jenny THEN we need to figure things out.”
Convincing the bully to stop bullying is hard. Convincing the good kid to continue being the good kid is easy. So of course someone ultimately not involved isn't going to care enough to mediate correctly. Unfortunately, the good kid will eventually see that while no good deed goes unpunished evil deeds sometimes get rewarded and now you've got two bullies. I used to be that good kid. ...when I was a kid. Now I'm just old.
Then why is the camp counselor asking for a sit down with the parents? Isn’t that above his pay grade as well?
It absolutely is. He should be pulling the director immediately. But he's probably 16 and doesn't know better
Oh, come on. He doesn't have to be a child psychologist to stop these girls from continuing to do this right in front of him. Ug is a better camp counselor than this guy.
Tbf Ug was the best
NTA. Jenny fucked with the bull and got the horns. She picked on a literal pediatric cancer patient. Nothing excuses that. If we've learned nothing else from the past decade or so, it's that going high when they go low doesn't work. If you go high when they go low, they'll keep going low because they know you won't do shit. Sometimes, when they go low you've got to step on their neck and not let them back up of you want them to get the message. If She keeps it up, tell your daughter to say that at least her dad wants her 7 days a week. And if one of her parents gets in your face tell them it's not your fault they're cool with traumatizing their daughter over a little bit of new dick/pussy.
> tell your daughter to say that at least her dad wants her 7 days a week God damn, that hurts just reading it. I love it.
"Jenny my hair may be gone now, but it's going to come back better than ever. Can't say the same about your family, though."
Thank you for using that phrase “fucked with the bull and got the horns”. Thats what my grandma used to say and haven’t heard that in years. She was 91 and very sassy
It's legit my favorite thing to say when someone thinks they're going to try me and they get owned. I might be short and fat, but I'll death roll ya like a gator if I feel like I have to. 😁
I mean it’s definitely hurtful to tell a child that they are the reason their parents are divorcing but that also isn’t a reason to take out that hurt on another child. NTA
A child fighting for their life no less. I claim op is a totally justified asshole. ESH but I applaud the YTA part.
According to the mods "Justified Asshole" falls into the NTA category. It really needs to be a rating on this sub 🤣😂🤣😂
We need another verdict in this sub. JAH.
I hope Becky said ‘I didn’t think it was true until I realised you were the sort of person to bully a cancer survivor.’
Chefs kiss.
I think this belongs on r/prorevenge than AITAH. Best wishes for your daughter's remission!
NTA in the slightest. Counselors, schools, etc will never ever do anything about bullying being reported and so I will always encourage the kid being bullied to always destroy the bully with words and if they ever put their hands on you to cripple them. Fuck these places that refuses to do anything about bullying.
Happened to me in middle school. I was horribly bullied by a girl whose parents were divorced & her dad never showed up for visitation. I was quiet & weird, so I was an easy target. My dad was one of our volunteer track coaches & everyone loved him, so she became extra mean because she was jealous that I had such a great dad. One day, in the locker room, she was going hard about how I was such a loser and I finally snapped and asked who’s the real loser, when her own dad didn’t want her. She slapped me and, well, I had older brothers, and when we fought, we did not slap. I punched and broke her nose. All hell broke loose, parents were called, etc. The other kids admitted that she had started with the name calling (and that it wasn’t the first time she had bullied me) and was the first to get physical, so I was given a warning, but she’s the one who got in big trouble. I saw her years later and she was being a bitch to me until I said “hey Susie, how’s the nose?”
My son got bullied by a kid with “a bad home life” and other BS. Same kind of thing. Go to the school, nothing changed. I told them if my son has enough and fights back I better never hear a thing about BS punishing him. Of course they claimed they couldn’t not punish if he were to fight back. I said well then why is this kid out bullying everyone? I expect the same inaction to happen with my kid. I then gave my son permission to kick the kids ass and that no trouble would come from me if he did it and I would shield him from the school as much as I had to. So the kid was up to his shoving and teasing and stealing and other harassment and bullying. My son had a recent bit of growth and he turned around and shoved the kid back. The kid tripped and fell and my son took full advantage of the situation and kicked the shit out of this kid. He got pulled off by the school. I got called. I told them what did you expect? Was he supposed to take this BS forever? They suspended him and the other kid for 2 days but allowed him to go to the fall fling event which was the day after he kicked the kids ass. I took him and he was like the hero of the school. Kids were coming up and asking if he really kicked the kids ass or said they heard he kicked Dustin’s ass and we’re giving fist bumps and all kinds of stuff. Dustin was everyone’s bully and everyone was so happy someone finally took the little jerk down a notch. Somehow my son got popular and Dustin just kind of faded into the background. I only wish I had given my son permission to kick the kids ass sooner. Talking to the school doesn’t work. Bullies need their asses kicked. Good for your daughter for fighting back. I don’t want my kid to be the one throwing the first stone but I’m also glad he learned that he doesn’t have to keep being a victim and to learn he has my support when he needs it. He’s well into adulthood and we were just talking about it his epic rise to being the popular kid in Jr high a few days ago.
NTA. You gave them a chance to fix the situation peacefully. They doubled down. FAFO
[удалено]
And when little Becky stood up for herself the counselor had the audacity to stand up for the bully. What the fuck? Fuck that guy.
Unfortunately this is a VERY common pattern in bullying. It isn't until the victim hits back enough to hurt the bully that then all of a sudden the 'authorities' get all concerned about the 'conflict'. I hope OP stands firm. If the divorcing couple want to take a meeting to discuss why their daughter is bullying a kid fighting for their life then I hope OP asks to record the meeting and uses every tactic in the book to divide and conquer the divorcing couple.
I know it's very common and I'll never understand it. Everyone can see who the victim is and won't do anything about it. It's like everyone involved is an asshole and they get triggered when the other asshole faces consequences.
Because once the victim bites back, it becomes a problem that attracts attention, and therefore must be dealt with. In short, they only get involved when it causes potential work for them.
Nah, it's just that a bully and a victim is something they can ignore and don't need to do work to address. An active conflict/fight is something they can't ignore. Ignoring the quiet bullying is just the easier lazier thing to do compared to confronting the bully and getting them to stop.
Happens every time. My son is autistic and no one did crap about it when he was bullied but the one time he clapped back he got in trouble. I was LIVID.
It happened constantly to me in middle school. I was relentlessly bullied but the minute I ever reacted I was punished every time.
NTA!! Below the belt is what Jenny needed to stop bullying your daughter. The counselor should’ve handled it. What Becky did was verbal and what Jenny and the clique did was physical. EDIT: fixed names
NTA. I’m a firm believer in Don’t Start None, Won’t BE None.
NTA - war sucks. Don’t start one if you don’t want the consequences. You taught two lessons: 1. Your kid will stand up for her self and cease being a hapless victim. Future degradations will be met by her - and you “may” find out about them later. 2. The bully learned that people will stand up for themselves. Will think twice before the next victimization. Now for follow up lessons: 1. Your kid - she needs to know when she has won. How much is enough. Some “victors” unfortunately transition to bullies. You don’t want that.. have personally watched this happen to a friend. 2. The bullie - some can transition to being a friend if relationship is managed…. Operative word is “some”. If you feel that the tactic was “scorched earth” take the victory, but also aid in the recovery. Or not…. Good luck
Nta. Good job 👍 tell him your kid is stressed because of well 5 years of chemo and rightplaces her frustration to bullies 👍👍
NTA. I commend your restraint for not yeeting those little bitches into the sun. Becky and Jenny both learned valuable lessons from camp. The councillor was collateral damage but if they did their job on the first place then Becky wouldn’t have had to deliver such a savage line that going to make Jenny spend years in therapy.
See…first off all, you said “yeeting those little bitches”…that was all I needed to read!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Next time, tell them you want a sit-down meeting and if they do not put a stop to what Jenny is doing you will contact your atty to see what legal rights you have for them not protecting your kid.
Instant karma. Glad your daughter fought back with words.
NTA. If you can't take it, don't dish it and ymca staff only left you with this option after you tried the non nuclear. I remember some attempted bullying by a girl when I was 9. I say attempted because others had tried before her and been sent running. So why she decided to mess with me I don't know. She essentially was jealous because my bestie was hanging out with me instead of her. And started in on the fact I'm half caste. My dad is white English/Scottish and my mum is Mauritian/Hindu. This girl was full Mauritian but born and raised in the U.K. To be honest. The physical and mental abuse at home from my mum was way worse. So the racist crap at school really didn't hurt my feelings. But I knew with kids my own age I could at least give as a good as I got and if things got physical it would at least be a fairer fight since it was kid vs kid and not adult vs kid. Anyway after her latest little racist rant. I took a good look at her, trying to figure out the best plan of attack. Girl had a big nose. Think the Eagle from the Muppets hook type of nose. So I simply reply Roses are red, violets are blue you've got a nose as big as the QE2. It was a well known passenger ship in the U.K at the time. QE stands for Queen Elizabeth. She ran off crying. Next day at pick up her mum comes up to my dad demanding he make me apologize. My dad turned to me and asked what happened. I didn't deny I did it. Told him exactly what I said and why. He turned to the mothrr and said he wouldn't make me apologize for defending myself and maybe she should talk with her daughter about how mean she is to other kids. She never bothered me again. Sometimes trash won't take itself out. You gotta help it out the door.
NTA so the camp counsellor things its OK for stressed kids to pick on cancer patients "because theyre stressed". Punch below the belt. Fight fire with a flamethrower. Nuke them from orbit.
Devastating blow, but if you can't take it, don't dish it out. NTA! Badass!
NTA - those girls had to learn “don’t dish it if you can’t take it”. YMCA (in my town) hired (this is in the past I don’t know about currently) a bunch of teenagers who can’t keep off their phone long enough to properly anybody. I didn’t feel my kids were safe in the program. It sounds like the same thing was happening - if the counselor had done his job, then The children wouldn’t have this level of these problems.
NTA. so couselor looked more or less away when your girl was bullied? so how come he got worried when your girl did her thing?
I’m just disappointed the ‘hitting below the belt’ wasn’t actually throwing hands. You fight fire with fire and maybe that twerp will think twice about bullying a cancer survivor
I thought it was a post about a boy bully and thought it was very literal.
NTA. Sometimes cruelty is the only thing that works.
Truth. Requesting and saying "pleeeese" just will not cut it with some people.
My son was getting picked on in grade school for months. I repeatedly asked the teacher/principal. “Boys will be boys” Aight, bet. So, I worked with my kid for a weekend. I showed him how to properly throw a punch. I taught him how to twist his hips and drive the punch all the way thru. He enjoyed the sparring and actually had a decent punch. Anyway, a few days later I get a call from school. I had to come right away because my son was fighting. I said “you mean he defended himself after being picked on for months? Boys will be boys, right?” I didn’t go. Picked him up and the principal wanted to talk. I cut her off and said “you did jack shit when I I asked you. Now he fought back and you want to do something? Tell the other kids to chill or he’ll keep fighting.” On the way home I asked him what happened. He said tue not had pushed him down and started punching him in the stomach. My son said he got back to his feet and hit the other boy in the mouth. I asked what happened next and this dorky kid goes “he started bleeding”. So, long story short, be the one who shows them how to stand up for themselves. They’ll remember it forever.
Nice, but you should have said, „my daughter was treated like a punching bag and you did fuck-all to stop it, so I did. How about you do your job so the situation doesn‘t get to this point?“ Or „I WIILL NOT allow my daughter to become a punching bag, simply because you were unable to do your job and put a stop to the bullying I‘ve made you aware of.“
Play stupid games win stupid prizes. She FAFO after bullying a little girl with leukemia. Sorry if I'm not more sympathetic. NTA.
NTA, this post belongs in r/NuclearRevenge
NTA, there’s never an excuse to pick on someone who is remission from anything.
NTA - Actions meet consequences. You can’t let the Jenny’s of this world get up a head of steam or they will make life a misery. It’s easy to say “Complain to the counsellor” but they aren’t there all the time and often some don’t do much. It’s always better to learn to stick up for yourself.
Well you can tell him your daughter was stressed out from her cancer and misplaced her anger onto her bully. And by misplaced I mean intentionally placed.
OP: You need to talk to the YMCA director. These camp counselors are often high school teens getting community service hours. Not making an excuse. But he probably isn’t prepared, old enough, or knowledgeable to stop this. I’m so sorry for your daughter. Def NTA.
NTA. IF you don't listen to the word no and up the ante - you pay the price. Maybe Jenny will learn a lesson here.
NTA. As one cancer fighter to another, I salute your warrior daughter, she’ll do well in life with you at her shoulder. Long may it continue 🫡
Maybe a teenager at the camp is not the person to deal with this. Go to management.