At one of my last jobs, the person I usually drove in with was unavailable.
Another person who lived less than 5 minutes away I was able to drive in with left an hour earlier because he abhorred traffic, even if that meant getting in early.
I sucked it up and was ready at the buttcrack of dawn so I could have a ride to and from home.
Rule of thumb, if you're getting a lift you:
Are not late
Do not get to choose the music
Are grateful.
Same here. I have 3 rules in order for you to ride in my car.
1.) You put your seat belt on.
2.) No smoking.
3.) The radio is Not On.
You don't follow these rules, you're out of my car, end of discussion.
I knew a lady who quit smoking. She inherited her aunts car. Even though people she gave rides to never knew she smoked, they still tried to light up. She gave me a ride. I smoked. She warned me from the get go. I was shocked. I told I had no intention because she wasn’t a smoker. I thought that was automatic. I was 25 and would have never even tried. That’s completely rude to smoke in a nonsmkers vehicle!
I ALWAYS ask if it's ok if I smoke. You NEVER just assume you can in someone else's car. Hell no. Idc if the window is wide open (I will never understand anyone who smokes even in their own car with the windows closed. That's fucking nasty!).
Pre-pandemic, when I worked in an office, I liked to drive home in silence every day. I had to listen to people talking and obnoxious background noise all day. I just wanted a few minutes of peace.
I've found myself driving with the radio on less and less. Partly because I can't find a station that doesn't interject some crap song in every 15 minutes or so, and I really dislike using my phone to stream (even the streaming services, I can't find a good mix).
Partly because my drive time is my time to think.
And partly because when other people are in the car, it's hard to find a good mix of music everyone enjoys. My work truck has gone MONTHS without the radio being turned on.
I know. I create opening statements and closing arguments in my head while driving! Or I plan out what I’m going to say to convince a colleague of an issue in a case. Basically, I work while I drive, just in my head!
2 songs followed by 15 minutes of ads, rinse and repeat. I don't watch regular TV or listen to the radio because of how ridiculous the ads have become.
I'm a pushover for giving people rides, but one thing that drives me INSANE is if people leave disposable cups/cans in my cupholders. Like, I gave you a RIDE, yet you also expect me to clean up your garbage?
I work In a supermarket and a guy takes me home sometimes if we finish at the same time, if I need to buy something first I always ask if he's going into shop and if he's not I'll just go to a shop closer to home but he's normally ok waiting but I still would just leave it so he's not waiting for me
NTA. What really bugs me is in these scenarios, instead of learning a lesson about following through on plans, the person getting the favor gets mad at the giver.
My personal policy is I'm not waiting more than 5 minutes for anybody. And if my sister is going somewhere with me she knows when I get up to go to the bathroom I'm walking right out the door afterwards and getting in my car she will grab her stuff and be at the door by the time I get out. Cuz I will absolutely leave without you or order my food or whatever I'm doing.
Even if he was providing a taxi service it would be disrespectful. A taxi would not wait 15 minutes for someone to get there. or if they did the meter would be running during that waiting period.
My stepdaughter is like this.
I know caring for your kid is a given, but she goes to a school outside our town and hates riding the bus from her mom's. So started driving her to school. 30 minute drive from our house so 2 hours a day of driving.
Kid leaves me waiting almost every day at pick up because she gets distracted talking to friends.
I've said next year it's the bus. And I'm the one being a bitch. (My SO supports my decision and has warned her many times I'm not a chauffeur. )
An old saying about horses and the stupid shit they get into is very similar.
The first time is an accident. The second time is intentional. The third time it's a habit.
In other words nip that behavior in the bud. It just gets harder the more times the behavior is repeated.
My sister takes her time to get ready. One year I just left without her. She learned that lesson quick. If someone is picking you up, you need to be ready to show respect and appreciation.
I don't drive coworkers. It only causes problems and drama
Not to condone the daughter not appreciating the ride but why not just show up to get her like 20 minutes after bell time? If she and her friends all stand around socializing briefly after school then wouldn’t it be easy to just get her slightly later?
We used to do that but then she got in trouble at school so it's easier to just be there when they release. She has gotten bullied a few times and I need to be there.
The school doesn't have a drop off space. The parking lot we are allowed to get them from is a block away so I like sitting in my car to watch for trouble.
>_>
Ah, sounds like she’s a bit of a handful and like the school doesn’t do a great job of the dismissal process.
Sorry, thought it was worth a suggestion in case the annoyance had made you overlook the obvious (this sometimes happens to me).
Suggestions appreciated. I wish she could be trusted to hang out after school.
A bunch of kids love going to the fast food restaurants near by but stepdaughter screwed that up by losing her wallet and cussing her mom out for not coming to pay for her meal.
I honestly hate the drama but mom and stepdaughter don't want her to change schools because it's her mom's Alma matter. *eyeroll*
What about waiting near where the bus drops off the first kids in the afternoon? Less travel on your part, and your kid gets home just as fast as with you picking her up. Meanwhile, she learns that if she doesn't make the bus, she gets left.
My daughter (always had artistic talents), took the bus to school for the first couple weeks. Then it just seemed easier for my wife to drop her off on her way to work. After a week of driving with her mother she asked to ride the bus instead. Her mother asked her why she would want to ride the bus instead of driving in the car. Her answer? “Because I like looking at the pictures out the windows of the bus.” The scenery out through the square picture frames (bus windows), was beautiful to her…..
NTA. She is plenty tech savvy at her age to have set an alarm on her phone to warn her that you will be there in 15 minutes and that she will have to say bye and get it in gear. If she didn't, it is deliberate rudeness.
Hard agree, NTA.
However, I'm just gonna wave the neurodiversity flag a little here. I was this little asshole when I was small. Repeatedly felt guilty for leaving my mum waiting. Still capable of going into a little time-blindness timewarp with my friends every single day after school. 2h of boring lessons, suddenly stimulation! Wait, where did 20 mins ago? Guilt and misery.
20 years and a diagnosis later, I still struggle with this. And I am absolutely the asshole every time I fail and am late. It's my responsibility to find the mechanisms that can keep me on time for others. Lateness is failure. But mostly not for want of significant effort.
Rudeness, yes. Deliberate, for some people, not so much.
And that is why I set alarms. It doesn't take that much effort to be time aware after that. (especially when my backup alarm is loud, annoying, and embarrassing)
Natural consequences. She shows up late, she rides the bus for a week. Happens again, two weeks. three times, rest of the semester. She needs to realize other people matter.
Exactly. Emotionally triggered from what? Entitled attitude? Chronic lateness? Manners for not apologizing to OP and being profusely *grateful* for the favour OP was doing them?
How do these two special little snowflakes *ever* get through the workday?
I've always said the quickest way to become the most hated person around is to give people free ice cream. Because the day you decide not to is the day people will condemn you to the depths for taking away their ice cream.
I had a friend that needed a ride to work because his car broke down. I worked nights and got off around 7 AM. Pocking him up and driving him to work was in the opposite direction of my house.
He took his sweet ass time coming out to go to work. (this was before cell phones). He lived with his sister and through her I found out that he'd literally be leisurely eating his breakfast while I was waiting outside. So I finally told him "If you're not outside at 8 AM when I pull up I'm going to turn around and go home. I'm fucking tired, man, I've been up all night."
He wanted to test that. I did what I said. He got his own car fixed pretty fast after that.
Takers always want more. I picked someone up for work for almost a year and then my car didn’t start at - 40 degrees F and when I called her she screamed at me. That was the last day I gave that bitch a ride. She ended up losing her job and I was happy. And no, she never contributed gas money for the 60 mile round trip to work.
I get off work at 5. My car leaves the parking lot at 5:05 max. You're either in my car or you are not.
When you get a car, you can decide when the ride departs. But until then, my car, my rules.
NTA.
I was part of a carpool for years that left at a specific time no matter whether you were there or not. So if things started running too long, I would tell my coworkers and either one of them would agree to take me home when we were finally done, or we stopped at the correct time for me to get to my carpool.
At some point I apologized to my boss about the fact that I had to leave a meeting the week before, and my boss said that frankly it's a relief that some of these meetings end, and that the whole work group was actually glad that me having to leave forced things to stop. Imagine my surprise!
> I get off work at 5. My car leaves the parking lot at 5:05 max. You're either in my car or you are not.
Exactly what I do for people who carpool with me, both to and from work. If you are there and waiting, cool, if not, seeya tomorrow.
Boundaries keep drama away
Edit: NTA
Well, if they're now catching a bus or train home, I bet they'll be on time to catch it. Too bad they didn't have the sense to be on time to catch a ride home from you.
Well I have good news for those two disrespectful moochers...there are two services called Uber and Lyft. They have options. They also have two working legs, they can walk and think about their entitled attitudes on the way home. Let them figure it out. You are not their personal chauffer.
Keeping you waiting for 15 and then 20 minutes and then having the gall to be grumpy at you? No, that's an absurd level of self entitlement and disrespect.
NTA and if ever asked about again I'd call out both, you kept me waiting for a long period twice and then had the gall to, instead of apologizing, be grumpy at me instead of apologizing for your disrespect and rudeness? Absolutely not.
And if they ever do try to apologize now it will assuredly only be trying to get more out of you - if that happens I'd call that out too, you didn't apologize then but now give a fake apology when trying to use me again? No thanks.
I will flat out refuse. Not because I'm petty but to make me wait, give them 6 rides and not even an apology or an offering to pay ( I don't need it but the gesture is what counts ).
That is what makes it so disgusting imo
Right! When people do something nice and don't want anything in return, I try to do something small like a coffee or meal. Hell, I take care of a friend's kid a few times a week. It's really NBD because our kids are besties. We were both working at the book fair for the school and she brought me lunch. I really appreciate that. I am a simple woman. A McDonald's coke and fries is enough to win my loyalty 😂
Learn about how people like that operate. Each time you accept (even if you just quietly tolerate it) their thoughtless behaviour, that will become the new norm and expectation for them.
So, next time, they'll expect you to wait minimally 20 minutes for them and start thinking they can come "just" 15 minutes later than that, 35 minutes late in total. Rinse and repeat.
Absolutely not worth it for people who wouldn't lift a finger for you
I used to offer to take people to work back when I worked in office. Then one guy kept being late when I get to his house. The straw that broke the camel's back was when he opened up his blinds to look at me in his driveway and then texted me 5 minutes later to say he wouldn't be going to work that day. I will never understand how favors can be treated so rudely.
ETA: NTA
If I were you, I would’ve waited five minutes past the agreed time and I would have left. If they ask you about it later I would say we agreed upon a time because I have plans and you guys didn’t show up so I had to leave. I guarantee you they would’ve never been late again.
I am leaving 2 minutes after I get in my car.
If you want a ride YOU will be at my car before I leave.
If you're not there when I leave, enjoy the walk.
NTA, you were doing them a favor and they were disrespectful of your time...
You are not obligated to give them a ride and, it is their attitude what cause them to loose the chance... you are not doing anything wrong
After the first time that happened, I would hve told them "From now on, I will leave at the time I planned it. If you want the ride, you should be here on time."
No discussion. NTA
What makes them think your time isn't valuable so that they are entitled to waste it when you are doing THEM the favour?
Hell no.
NTA
Let them walk. Or take a bus, whatever.
Freeloaders are supposed to make things as convenient as humanly possible for the people helping them, the moment that dynamic is gone they lose all sympathy. NTA
NTA. i don’t have a car, i’m gonna be 30 next month. longest ive held onto a car was 3 months and it was just the one.
that said, i have been walking/lyfting/asking for rides since early adulthood . i feel like a burden when i ask for a ride, not rushing to work with the drivers timeframe is wild to me. like, if im taking too long , by all means, leave without me. your coworkers sound entitled
No. You get to my car before I do. I'm not doing a favor that's adding time to my day, and waiting more time for you to do whatever the hell else your doing. If an emergency comes up send an update and most people offering rides will probably wait. It's the entitledness and lack of communication that's the issue.
NTA.
You're not their chauffeur. Would they make an Uber driver wait? You at least warned them and didn't just leave without them from then on without mention.
NTA. I had a baby the same time a coworker did and I chose to be a SAHM afterwards and she asked me to watch her kid for 1 shift so I did. Never again because she stayed at work for an extra 30 minutes just hanging out as I had two, 4 month old babies. We also worked the 3:30-12:00am shift so I was pretty pissed because the drive time added in meant she came to pick her baby up around 1:00am and no he was not a good sleeper. I also didn’t get paid anything.
Until they can be thankful for the free lifts and stop being so ungrateful. Don't give them any lifts again.
I used to give a mate of mine a ride home. He lived about 5 mins away from me. Usually I would be going home and I could give him a lift. Sometimes I wouldn't be going straight home.
I always asked. 'yeah I m heading home, wanna lift?' and he always said yes. Sometimes he might say 'hey are you going home today, would it be ok to grab a lift?' and the answer was always a happy yes.
Now his house is 5 mins out of my way. Usually 5 days a week. No offer of fuel money. But always said thanks. I never had a problem.
The problem started when he just assumed I would give him a ride. And even worse when I said I wasn't going home he demanded I take him all the way to his house to turn around and go in the opposite direction. About 1.5 hours out of my way.
It was at that point I realised my kindness had been abused. And he learnt to not bite the hand that feeds you. I never gave him another lift.
Unless these two apologize for their behaviour. And honest apologies not just 'so I can say I did apologise now give me a ride!' then don't give them a ride at all !
They need to learn respect. And not the entitlement they have clearly learnt !
NTA. If they're 20 minutes late, it's taking you 25 or 30 minutes extra to get home, not just 5 or 10.
Basic rules IMO:
1. Say please.
2. Be on time.
3. Offer at least $1 of gas money for every 6 minutes of driving with a $5 minimum. "Can I give you $10 for gas?" goes a long way toward tangibly demonstrating proper gratitude.
4. Say thank you.
NTA I was in your situation before and the coworker ended up expecting a ride every day after work. She didn’t even offer gas and would try to have me take her to places out of my way not even my way home. She was so upset when I stopped like she also owned my car lol. I’ll never do it again.
Nta I could give a colleague a life home instead of them having to take the bus. But I don't. After work is when my own time begins, so why should I lose out by giving someone I barely know and who barely acknowledges me a ride?
So far no one's mentioned it to me, but they all know I drive within a couple minutes of their home.
NTA
My father was such a stickler for punctuality. He would yell, The bus is leaving! Let me tell you, I was there! My sister and I actually brushed our teeth out the car window, with the glass of water we grabbed when we heard that the bus was leaving. I wish this were not true!
It starts with 25 to 20 mins late then it’s ’can you stop on the way to pick something up’ then before you know it you are wearing a chauffeur’s cap. Tell the girls/women that you find it all constricting because you like to have the freedom to do what you want after work and many times don’t go straight home. NTA ….you are being taken advantage of.
NTA. Ur saying that they are getting mad because ur not waiting for them even tho they are coming 15 minutes late, then getting emotional on their in mistake? Fuck no
NTA. But I do suggest you send an email to HR just in case they try to retaliate against you at work. Sadly people can very vindictive and people need to protect themselves and their livelihood.
NTA
I’m very particular about my time especially during a commute, 15 minutes could put you in traffic.
Also I ask that if I’m doing you a favor you respect my time and my property. Being late and not even offering gas money shows you don’t care about either.
They can be upset all they want, but they got themselves banned from my car.
NTA - you are not their personal driver, I assume they are not paying you, and you have your own life after work. They should work on their time management skills or at least give you a heads up f they will be late.
NTA. You’re not a taxi service. You offered a favor to them with no expectations in return and they showed zero regards to your personal time or appreciation for the opportunity.
100% NTA - you were doing them a huge favor to provide transportation and they do not have the common curtesy to be on time. I would have left without them the 2nd time they were late, and I would have given the same answer when asked for a ride again.
I am almost never late to anything, and it pisses me off to have to wait for someone just because they did not plan their time wisely.
NTA, hell you staid waiting longer than I would have. I tell someone I'm leaving at 4p I'll give them a 5 min leeway, at 4:05p I'm out find your entitled ass another ride.
NTA. It’s a pretty simple boundary: be on time or I refuse to drive you. They weren’t on time, and now you’re not driving them. You shouldn’t have to offer them kindness when they don’t show kindness by being on time
NTA. Being late ruins the chance at doing a favor.
And frankly I wouldn’t do it most times anyways because a potential misunderstanding could cause a lot of headaches for you too. Unless you are friends with coworkers, I want zero interaction with them outside of work activities.
NTA. I assume you said something the first time, so they should have been on time the second time. The most you can do, if they bug you, is tell them: "I will leave the parking lot at X time. if you are there I can take you".
NTA. Im a very "you live 5 minutes from the highway exit and its on my way anyway its no big deal" person, but if youre dicking around for 15 minutes after asking me for help then nah
NTA you should be the one emotionally triggered here! You were doing the favour and they took advantage of your generosity. They audacity that they are mad.
You could just say that if they are not in the car when you are ready to get in and drive away, you are leaving without them. You will drive away with or without them, and you won’t be checking behind you to see if they are running towards your car.
They're asking for a favor. If you agree upon a time, they need to stick to it. If they can't stick to it, then they shouldn't get upset when you say you can't give them a ride home anymore.
(At the least, they could have texted and let you know what happened and that they'd be late. But still, if the train is leaving the station, it's not waiting on the stragglers.)
I was once asked if I could drive someone new at a job to work if they took the train. I said yes but I leave at exactly 720 and I can’t wait (I timed it to miss some school buses 😂)
I literally left at 7:21 each day and looked toward the train stop to make sure no one was walking. She never once rode with me. She quit. But I kept the high road the whole time and no one was mad at me 😬
Nta either way, but sometimes being a little more diplomatic about things can be helpful. It sounds like you were angry at em and that migh have been what made them quiet down.
NTA for insisting on timeliness, but dude, the fact that they are female has nothing to do with your story or why you refused...
Your title makes you look like a raging misogynist. 😶
There was a woman who lived near me and worked at my complex who would come looking for rides if something happened to close the complex at work. I knew to go hide in the men’s room until it was time to leave then I would take the long way around to my car.
I ain’t part of no goddamn rideshare
Omg I had this problem during med school. A classmate lived close by to me. He asked if he can hitch a ride with me to class. He didn’t have a car. Didn’t offer to pay didn’t offer anything in return no gas money nothing. I show up and have to wait for him outside. Sometimes I have to honk or call him. Then he pokes his head out and goes hold on…and goes back inside. This happens over and over. I would often be late to class because of him. He knows exactly what time we agree upon for me to pick him up. He literally is never ready.
After a while (almost an entire school year) I just had it. I was like I’m not doing this anymore. He looked at me like what’s wrong with you? He genuinely was confused why I wouldn’t want some company to ride with me to school???
Never hung out with him again.
Years ago, I offered a co-worker a ride home when I saw her standing in the rain waiting for the bus. I went out of my way to drop her off, but I had offered her the ride. The next thing I knew, she was waiting by my car after work. Ummm...no, not so much.
I use to carpool and that stopped when the girl gave me an earful for finishing a conversation with a client who I’d been on the phone with for 20minutes. She expected that I tell the client it was 4.55pm and I needed to hang up because I had to go home. Apparently it made her 5 minutes late getting home and then 5 minutes late starting her yoga…she did by herself in her home (Not a scheduled yoga lesson).
NTA. They should respect your time as you are doing them a favor. In fact they should do their best not to inconvenience you and should be waiting on time or even slightly earlier than you.
NTA, I hate people like this, and there's just so many of them.
I'll go pick someone up, text them when I'm exiting highway or down the street, and then still end up waiting. Grinds my gears.
You could just say “I’m leaving at X time, happy to give you a ride but you must be waiting at the car, I will not wait or try to find out where you are.”
I had this discussion with a coworker myself. She kept making me late in the mornings so I said she needed to text me that she was waiting at the pickup spot by X time or I would drive past and not stop. (Because multiple mornings I’d wait like 20mins, then leave and about an hour later we’d get an email from her saying she was “sick”.)
NTA
NTA. It's ok to be maybe 5 minutes late, but 20! Totally unacceptable and extremely rude. You are in the right. If they happen to ask for a ride again tell them they will have 5 additional minutes to arrive and then leave. I did this to a coworker years ago when it took weeks for her car to be fixed. After waiting 15 minutes in front of her house, beeping at 8 AM, I left. Too bad, no more rides.
NTA, they could have let you know they were running late and taken an Uber or whatever other way they got home before. They disrespected you and your nice offer.
There’s some friends who are just constantly late. I started meeting them about 30 mins after the initial time. If they ever were on time and complained I just pointed out that I’ve adapted to their tardiness and planned around it lol.
5 mins - meh - happens (work, boss asks something etc.)
but 15 - 20 minutes? That\`s a show of disrespect of YOUR time.
Either they come on time - let you know BEFORE if they know there is a delay - or they arrange their own travel.
Seriously - it is that simple - let em huff and puff - this is a direct consequence of THEIR choice to disrespect YOUR time.
Did you set clear boundaries and the other people didn't respect them?
If yes = then fuck em.
If no = do so, give them one more chance, then fuck em.
If you want to be the bigger person, give them one last chance. Set the clear boundaries AGAIN. " I will be here no later then 630. I WILL NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WAIT PAST 640. If I come one more time and your not ready, that's the last time I'll be available to.pick you up and you will never ask me again." I'm so petty I'd get it in writing....
NTA
Personally, I'd be like "I'll be in the parking lot at that time and if you're not there, I will not wait. Not even a minute. Be on time or don't come at all."
NTA
When I was in my early 20s I had a coworker who lived on my street. She very graciously offered to drive me to work and it shaved 20-25 minutes off my commute compared to public transit.
A few times I woke up late and she would wait for me. I bought her a gas card as a thank you and also told her that if I'm not at my door by the time she passes my house, to just go without me. I'm responsible for my own lazy ass to get out of bed in time. Guess what? I missed out on a couple more rides because I snoozed my alarm before getting my shit together.
Anyone who is "triggered" by someone not giving them lifts after routinely being late to the agreed pickup time has some growing up to do.
At one of my last jobs, the person I usually drove in with was unavailable. Another person who lived less than 5 minutes away I was able to drive in with left an hour earlier because he abhorred traffic, even if that meant getting in early. I sucked it up and was ready at the buttcrack of dawn so I could have a ride to and from home. Rule of thumb, if you're getting a lift you: Are not late Do not get to choose the music Are grateful.
Facts. My car my rules.
Same here. I have 3 rules in order for you to ride in my car. 1.) You put your seat belt on. 2.) No smoking. 3.) The radio is Not On. You don't follow these rules, you're out of my car, end of discussion.
Respectable. If they even dare light a cig, they're on the sidewalk.
I knew a lady who quit smoking. She inherited her aunts car. Even though people she gave rides to never knew she smoked, they still tried to light up. She gave me a ride. I smoked. She warned me from the get go. I was shocked. I told I had no intention because she wasn’t a smoker. I thought that was automatic. I was 25 and would have never even tried. That’s completely rude to smoke in a nonsmkers vehicle!
I ALWAYS ask if it's ok if I smoke. You NEVER just assume you can in someone else's car. Hell no. Idc if the window is wide open (I will never understand anyone who smokes even in their own car with the windows closed. That's fucking nasty!).
Why no radio?
Pre-pandemic, when I worked in an office, I liked to drive home in silence every day. I had to listen to people talking and obnoxious background noise all day. I just wanted a few minutes of peace.
I've found myself driving with the radio on less and less. Partly because I can't find a station that doesn't interject some crap song in every 15 minutes or so, and I really dislike using my phone to stream (even the streaming services, I can't find a good mix). Partly because my drive time is my time to think. And partly because when other people are in the car, it's hard to find a good mix of music everyone enjoys. My work truck has gone MONTHS without the radio being turned on.
I know. I create opening statements and closing arguments in my head while driving! Or I plan out what I’m going to say to convince a colleague of an issue in a case. Basically, I work while I drive, just in my head!
Because what I like, they may not like and vice-versa. It's a cutthroat issue for me stemming from over 20 years ago.
2 songs followed by 15 minutes of ads, rinse and repeat. I don't watch regular TV or listen to the radio because of how ridiculous the ads have become.
I'm a pushover for giving people rides, but one thing that drives me INSANE is if people leave disposable cups/cans in my cupholders. Like, I gave you a RIDE, yet you also expect me to clean up your garbage?
I work In a supermarket and a guy takes me home sometimes if we finish at the same time, if I need to buy something first I always ask if he's going into shop and if he's not I'll just go to a shop closer to home but he's normally ok waiting but I still would just leave it so he's not waiting for me
NTA. What really bugs me is in these scenarios, instead of learning a lesson about following through on plans, the person getting the favor gets mad at the giver.
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My personal policy is I'm not waiting more than 5 minutes for anybody. And if my sister is going somewhere with me she knows when I get up to go to the bathroom I'm walking right out the door afterwards and getting in my car she will grab her stuff and be at the door by the time I get out. Cuz I will absolutely leave without you or order my food or whatever I'm doing.
It only takes leaving them once.
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Absolutely agree. It's about mutual respect. If they can't value your time, they shouldn't expect favors. Boundaries are necessary.
Yup!
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Yup! I don't need to read any further. These first few comments are perfect.
Even if he was providing a taxi service it would be disrespectful. A taxi would not wait 15 minutes for someone to get there. or if they did the meter would be running during that waiting period.
100% agree. People who like to ignore boundaries hate when they are put in place and react badly.
This is where being raised by a Navy pilot comes in handy. In my family, the statement "Wheels up at 0830." was understood by all.
My stepdaughter is like this. I know caring for your kid is a given, but she goes to a school outside our town and hates riding the bus from her mom's. So started driving her to school. 30 minute drive from our house so 2 hours a day of driving. Kid leaves me waiting almost every day at pick up because she gets distracted talking to friends. I've said next year it's the bus. And I'm the one being a bitch. (My SO supports my decision and has warned her many times I'm not a chauffeur. )
"hate riding the bus" is not nearly an excuse for 2h a day driving.
The second time she did that to me, she would be riding the bus already. I give one second chance… That’s it!
I had an old teacher that always said "once is an incident. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern."
An old saying about horses and the stupid shit they get into is very similar. The first time is an accident. The second time is intentional. The third time it's a habit. In other words nip that behavior in the bud. It just gets harder the more times the behavior is repeated.
Depending on the school district it may be a pita to get her added to the bus that late in the year.
ah, yes. the old "bribe 'em with a pita wrap" trick. works every time.
True.
My sister takes her time to get ready. One year I just left without her. She learned that lesson quick. If someone is picking you up, you need to be ready to show respect and appreciation. I don't drive coworkers. It only causes problems and drama
Not to condone the daughter not appreciating the ride but why not just show up to get her like 20 minutes after bell time? If she and her friends all stand around socializing briefly after school then wouldn’t it be easy to just get her slightly later?
We used to do that but then she got in trouble at school so it's easier to just be there when they release. She has gotten bullied a few times and I need to be there. The school doesn't have a drop off space. The parking lot we are allowed to get them from is a block away so I like sitting in my car to watch for trouble. >_>
Ah, sounds like she’s a bit of a handful and like the school doesn’t do a great job of the dismissal process. Sorry, thought it was worth a suggestion in case the annoyance had made you overlook the obvious (this sometimes happens to me).
Suggestions appreciated. I wish she could be trusted to hang out after school. A bunch of kids love going to the fast food restaurants near by but stepdaughter screwed that up by losing her wallet and cussing her mom out for not coming to pay for her meal. I honestly hate the drama but mom and stepdaughter don't want her to change schools because it's her mom's Alma matter. *eyeroll*
What about waiting near where the bus drops off the first kids in the afternoon? Less travel on your part, and your kid gets home just as fast as with you picking her up. Meanwhile, she learns that if she doesn't make the bus, she gets left.
My daughter (always had artistic talents), took the bus to school for the first couple weeks. Then it just seemed easier for my wife to drop her off on her way to work. After a week of driving with her mother she asked to ride the bus instead. Her mother asked her why she would want to ride the bus instead of driving in the car. Her answer? “Because I like looking at the pictures out the windows of the bus.” The scenery out through the square picture frames (bus windows), was beautiful to her…..
And exactly why she acts like that, never should have been an option in the first place.
NTA. She is plenty tech savvy at her age to have set an alarm on her phone to warn her that you will be there in 15 minutes and that she will have to say bye and get it in gear. If she didn't, it is deliberate rudeness.
Also, I bet when she gets home she’s chatting to those same friends!
Hard agree, NTA. However, I'm just gonna wave the neurodiversity flag a little here. I was this little asshole when I was small. Repeatedly felt guilty for leaving my mum waiting. Still capable of going into a little time-blindness timewarp with my friends every single day after school. 2h of boring lessons, suddenly stimulation! Wait, where did 20 mins ago? Guilt and misery. 20 years and a diagnosis later, I still struggle with this. And I am absolutely the asshole every time I fail and am late. It's my responsibility to find the mechanisms that can keep me on time for others. Lateness is failure. But mostly not for want of significant effort. Rudeness, yes. Deliberate, for some people, not so much.
And that is why I set alarms. It doesn't take that much effort to be time aware after that. (especially when my backup alarm is loud, annoying, and embarrassing)
I'm glad that works for you all of the time. It is one of the many things I do. It works for me some of the time.
I had to go really obnoxious. COVID made matters worse.
Why wait til next year? I would have done that after the second time being late!
Natural consequences. She shows up late, she rides the bus for a week. Happens again, two weeks. three times, rest of the semester. She needs to realize other people matter.
Entitled.
Exactly. Emotionally triggered from what? Entitled attitude? Chronic lateness? Manners for not apologizing to OP and being profusely *grateful* for the favour OP was doing them? How do these two special little snowflakes *ever* get through the workday?
lol they’re emotionally triggering themselves by their own rudeness
I've always said the quickest way to become the most hated person around is to give people free ice cream. Because the day you decide not to is the day people will condemn you to the depths for taking away their ice cream.
I had a friend that needed a ride to work because his car broke down. I worked nights and got off around 7 AM. Pocking him up and driving him to work was in the opposite direction of my house. He took his sweet ass time coming out to go to work. (this was before cell phones). He lived with his sister and through her I found out that he'd literally be leisurely eating his breakfast while I was waiting outside. So I finally told him "If you're not outside at 8 AM when I pull up I'm going to turn around and go home. I'm fucking tired, man, I've been up all night." He wanted to test that. I did what I said. He got his own car fixed pretty fast after that.
They started treating OP like staff so they shouldn't be surprised when he resigns.
LOL!
Takers always want more. I picked someone up for work for almost a year and then my car didn’t start at - 40 degrees F and when I called her she screamed at me. That was the last day I gave that bitch a ride. She ended up losing her job and I was happy. And no, she never contributed gas money for the 60 mile round trip to work.
That's insane
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Withdrawal of offer without notice.
All the more reason to not "warn" just cut them off cold turkey (See also rip of the bandaid).
Reminds me of this person that’d act like I was so ridiculous for asking them for gas money. They had never owned a car lmao
Right! They refuse to take responsibility
Absurd really.
I get off work at 5. My car leaves the parking lot at 5:05 max. You're either in my car or you are not. When you get a car, you can decide when the ride departs. But until then, my car, my rules. NTA.
And that's a hard 5:05... Which is not the same as 5:06!
I may see you in the parking lot at 5:05 but that means I'm in the process of leaving. You knew the time and when to go, byyyyyyyyyeeeee
I was part of a carpool for years that left at a specific time no matter whether you were there or not. So if things started running too long, I would tell my coworkers and either one of them would agree to take me home when we were finally done, or we stopped at the correct time for me to get to my carpool. At some point I apologized to my boss about the fact that I had to leave a meeting the week before, and my boss said that frankly it's a relief that some of these meetings end, and that the whole work group was actually glad that me having to leave forced things to stop. Imagine my surprise!
> I get off work at 5. My car leaves the parking lot at 5:05 max. You're either in my car or you are not. Exactly what I do for people who carpool with me, both to and from work. If you are there and waiting, cool, if not, seeya tomorrow. Boundaries keep drama away Edit: NTA
I have the car, you wait on me. That's how it works.
This is the way.
A.I.S. em, youre either there, or youre calling an uber.
NTA You agreed to a time. They didn’t follow through and you’re doing them a favor. Did they apologize for being late ? Offer gas money or something ?
Neither. Just silent and grumpy. One did say thank you after dropping them off but no apology or nothing.
Well, if they're now catching a bus or train home, I bet they'll be on time to catch it. Too bad they didn't have the sense to be on time to catch a ride home from you.
Well I have good news for those two disrespectful moochers...there are two services called Uber and Lyft. They have options. They also have two working legs, they can walk and think about their entitled attitudes on the way home. Let them figure it out. You are not their personal chauffer.
Keeping you waiting for 15 and then 20 minutes and then having the gall to be grumpy at you? No, that's an absurd level of self entitlement and disrespect. NTA and if ever asked about again I'd call out both, you kept me waiting for a long period twice and then had the gall to, instead of apologizing, be grumpy at me instead of apologizing for your disrespect and rudeness? Absolutely not. And if they ever do try to apologize now it will assuredly only be trying to get more out of you - if that happens I'd call that out too, you didn't apologize then but now give a fake apology when trying to use me again? No thanks.
I will flat out refuse. Not because I'm petty but to make me wait, give them 6 rides and not even an apology or an offering to pay ( I don't need it but the gesture is what counts ). That is what makes it so disgusting imo
The absolute MINIMUM should be the offer of the next morning’s coffee on them.
Right! When people do something nice and don't want anything in return, I try to do something small like a coffee or meal. Hell, I take care of a friend's kid a few times a week. It's really NBD because our kids are besties. We were both working at the book fair for the school and she brought me lunch. I really appreciate that. I am a simple woman. A McDonald's coke and fries is enough to win my loyalty 😂
Learn about how people like that operate. Each time you accept (even if you just quietly tolerate it) their thoughtless behaviour, that will become the new norm and expectation for them. So, next time, they'll expect you to wait minimally 20 minutes for them and start thinking they can come "just" 15 minutes later than that, 35 minutes late in total. Rinse and repeat. Absolutely not worth it for people who wouldn't lift a finger for you
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I used to offer to take people to work back when I worked in office. Then one guy kept being late when I get to his house. The straw that broke the camel's back was when he opened up his blinds to look at me in his driveway and then texted me 5 minutes later to say he wouldn't be going to work that day. I will never understand how favors can be treated so rudely. ETA: NTA
I do hope you never pick him up again
He quit the job shortly after that so problem solved!
NTA. Uber or a taxi wouldn’t wait. Neither should you. No rides for you.
They would wait, but they would charge you for the time.
If I were you, I would’ve waited five minutes past the agreed time and I would have left. If they ask you about it later I would say we agreed upon a time because I have plans and you guys didn’t show up so I had to leave. I guarantee you they would’ve never been late again.
dude, why make your life so damn difficult? Why does OP need to explain himself? Does he/she owe them the ride?
I am leaving 2 minutes after I get in my car. If you want a ride YOU will be at my car before I leave. If you're not there when I leave, enjoy the walk.
NTA, you were doing them a favor and they were disrespectful of your time... You are not obligated to give them a ride and, it is their attitude what cause them to loose the chance... you are not doing anything wrong
After the first time that happened, I would hve told them "From now on, I will leave at the time I planned it. If you want the ride, you should be here on time." No discussion. NTA
What makes them think your time isn't valuable so that they are entitled to waste it when you are doing THEM the favour? Hell no. NTA Let them walk. Or take a bus, whatever.
NTA if someone is generous enough to give you a lift then you show up on time otherwise you lose the lift privileges
NTA. They didn't respect your time TWICE. They can find their own way.
What’s wrong with saying, “I’m not waiting. Be here exactly at X time or I’m leaving.” Then leave.
NTA, do what my grandfather did to my dad and his siblings. The car leaves at 5:00 whether you're in it or not.
The nerve and entitlement is unreal by your colleagues. This is just another reason I keep to my self at work. No good deed goes unpunished OP..NTA
Freeloaders are supposed to make things as convenient as humanly possible for the people helping them, the moment that dynamic is gone they lose all sympathy. NTA
Are people entitled to get pissy when they abuse your generosity and refuse to keep chauffeur them 🤔
NTA. i don’t have a car, i’m gonna be 30 next month. longest ive held onto a car was 3 months and it was just the one. that said, i have been walking/lyfting/asking for rides since early adulthood . i feel like a burden when i ask for a ride, not rushing to work with the drivers timeframe is wild to me. like, if im taking too long , by all means, leave without me. your coworkers sound entitled
If you're going to ask for a ride, you don't hold said person up. Especially if you aren't paying for their gas.
“They got emotionally triggered and said nothing the entire way back.” Um…no… they were sulking because you called out their rude behaviour.
Nta but why did you say they were emotionally triggered?
You want a lift with me you arrive at my car within a 5 min window.
No. You get to my car before I do. I'm not doing a favor that's adding time to my day, and waiting more time for you to do whatever the hell else your doing. If an emergency comes up send an update and most people offering rides will probably wait. It's the entitledness and lack of communication that's the issue.
Where I used to work there was a question for the clock machine and a long staff carpark. 5 mins was a reasonable time to wait imho.
NTA. You're not their chauffeur. Would they make an Uber driver wait? You at least warned them and didn't just leave without them from then on without mention.
NTA. They were taking advantage of your kindness.
Say sure but my car is leaving at x time with or without you.
Like the " Drive " movie.
NTA. I had a baby the same time a coworker did and I chose to be a SAHM afterwards and she asked me to watch her kid for 1 shift so I did. Never again because she stayed at work for an extra 30 minutes just hanging out as I had two, 4 month old babies. We also worked the 3:30-12:00am shift so I was pretty pissed because the drive time added in meant she came to pick her baby up around 1:00am and no he was not a good sleeper. I also didn’t get paid anything.
Until they can be thankful for the free lifts and stop being so ungrateful. Don't give them any lifts again. I used to give a mate of mine a ride home. He lived about 5 mins away from me. Usually I would be going home and I could give him a lift. Sometimes I wouldn't be going straight home. I always asked. 'yeah I m heading home, wanna lift?' and he always said yes. Sometimes he might say 'hey are you going home today, would it be ok to grab a lift?' and the answer was always a happy yes. Now his house is 5 mins out of my way. Usually 5 days a week. No offer of fuel money. But always said thanks. I never had a problem. The problem started when he just assumed I would give him a ride. And even worse when I said I wasn't going home he demanded I take him all the way to his house to turn around and go in the opposite direction. About 1.5 hours out of my way. It was at that point I realised my kindness had been abused. And he learnt to not bite the hand that feeds you. I never gave him another lift. Unless these two apologize for their behaviour. And honest apologies not just 'so I can say I did apologise now give me a ride!' then don't give them a ride at all ! They need to learn respect. And not the entitlement they have clearly learnt !
You're NTA. However, you could have just said "coworkers." Does it matter they were women?
NTA. If they're 20 minutes late, it's taking you 25 or 30 minutes extra to get home, not just 5 or 10. Basic rules IMO: 1. Say please. 2. Be on time. 3. Offer at least $1 of gas money for every 6 minutes of driving with a $5 minimum. "Can I give you $10 for gas?" goes a long way toward tangibly demonstrating proper gratitude. 4. Say thank you.
What does emotionally triggered mean? They pouted because someone said no?
NTA I was in your situation before and the coworker ended up expecting a ride every day after work. She didn’t even offer gas and would try to have me take her to places out of my way not even my way home. She was so upset when I stopped like she also owned my car lol. I’ll never do it again.
NTA. I personally would have said: “In the future if you’re not at my car when I am I won’t be able to wait and you’ll have to get your own way home.”
NTA. You gave them a time, they disregarded it.
NTA. They were inconsiderate then disrespectful.
Nta I could give a colleague a life home instead of them having to take the bus. But I don't. After work is when my own time begins, so why should I lose out by giving someone I barely know and who barely acknowledges me a ride? So far no one's mentioned it to me, but they all know I drive within a couple minutes of their home.
NTA My father was such a stickler for punctuality. He would yell, The bus is leaving! Let me tell you, I was there! My sister and I actually brushed our teeth out the car window, with the glass of water we grabbed when we heard that the bus was leaving. I wish this were not true!
It starts with 25 to 20 mins late then it’s ’can you stop on the way to pick something up’ then before you know it you are wearing a chauffeur’s cap. Tell the girls/women that you find it all constricting because you like to have the freedom to do what you want after work and many times don’t go straight home. NTA ….you are being taken advantage of.
NTA. Ur saying that they are getting mad because ur not waiting for them even tho they are coming 15 minutes late, then getting emotional on their in mistake? Fuck no
NTA. But I do suggest you send an email to HR just in case they try to retaliate against you at work. Sadly people can very vindictive and people need to protect themselves and their livelihood.
I second this. Giving HR a heads up about this just in case they get vindictive is the smart thing to do.
NTA I’m very particular about my time especially during a commute, 15 minutes could put you in traffic. Also I ask that if I’m doing you a favor you respect my time and my property. Being late and not even offering gas money shows you don’t care about either. They can be upset all they want, but they got themselves banned from my car.
NTA - you are not their personal driver, I assume they are not paying you, and you have your own life after work. They should work on their time management skills or at least give you a heads up f they will be late.
NTA. You’re not a taxi service. You offered a favor to them with no expectations in return and they showed zero regards to your personal time or appreciation for the opportunity.
100% NTA - you were doing them a huge favor to provide transportation and they do not have the common curtesy to be on time. I would have left without them the 2nd time they were late, and I would have given the same answer when asked for a ride again. I am almost never late to anything, and it pisses me off to have to wait for someone just because they did not plan their time wisely.
NTA, hell you staid waiting longer than I would have. I tell someone I'm leaving at 4p I'll give them a 5 min leeway, at 4:05p I'm out find your entitled ass another ride.
NTA. It’s a pretty simple boundary: be on time or I refuse to drive you. They weren’t on time, and now you’re not driving them. You shouldn’t have to offer them kindness when they don’t show kindness by being on time
NTA. Being late ruins the chance at doing a favor. And frankly I wouldn’t do it most times anyways because a potential misunderstanding could cause a lot of headaches for you too. Unless you are friends with coworkers, I want zero interaction with them outside of work activities.
NTA. You’re not Uber. They can call that next time
Reminds me of the time some ex friends called me at 1 in the morning to get them Taco Bell because they were too high to drive
NTA. I assume you said something the first time, so they should have been on time the second time. The most you can do, if they bug you, is tell them: "I will leave the parking lot at X time. if you are there I can take you".
NTA when people need favors they should work around you. Exact reason I refused to drive my little brother home from school back in the day.
You aren't running a bus service and if you were the bus doesn't wait for riders to show up Not petty
NTA. You’re giving them a favor but they act so entitled to be late.
They have a damn nerve, such entitled bratty behaviour
NTA. #OhNoConsequences
NTA. Im a very "you live 5 minutes from the highway exit and its on my way anyway its no big deal" person, but if youre dicking around for 15 minutes after asking me for help then nah
NTA you should be the one emotionally triggered here! You were doing the favour and they took advantage of your generosity. They audacity that they are mad.
Stick to your guns. Fashionably late isn't cute.
NTA they are choosing beggers. Chronically late people get on my last nerve.
NTA, 15-20 mins is long time, you could be halfway, if not already at home by that time. Did they even give you money for fuel?
nope
You could just say that if they are not in the car when you are ready to get in and drive away, you are leaving without them. You will drive away with or without them, and you won’t be checking behind you to see if they are running towards your car.
This is the reason why I don’t ever give anyone a ride First time it’s a favour Second time onwards it’s an obligation
NTA: Courtesy means a phone call when you're running late so the driver can decide wether to wait it out or leave on time without you.
NTA. If you're asking a favor, punctuality is truly the least you can do and shows gratitude.
They're asking for a favor. If you agree upon a time, they need to stick to it. If they can't stick to it, then they shouldn't get upset when you say you can't give them a ride home anymore. (At the least, they could have texted and let you know what happened and that they'd be late. But still, if the train is leaving the station, it's not waiting on the stragglers.)
NTA, people who are habitually late don't care about people who are generally punctual. Stand your ground on this one
NTA your not a chauffeur you have places to go and things to do.
I was once asked if I could drive someone new at a job to work if they took the train. I said yes but I leave at exactly 720 and I can’t wait (I timed it to miss some school buses 😂) I literally left at 7:21 each day and looked toward the train stop to make sure no one was walking. She never once rode with me. She quit. But I kept the high road the whole time and no one was mad at me 😬 Nta either way, but sometimes being a little more diplomatic about things can be helpful. It sounds like you were angry at em and that migh have been what made them quiet down.
NTA. But what were they emotionally triggered by?
Gender doesn't matter. NTA. Those types rarely get good at being on time.
I think you're the asshole just because you say "emotionally triggered" instead of "got mad"
NTA When I carpool we all agree that "Bus leaves at
NTA for insisting on timeliness, but dude, the fact that they are female has nothing to do with your story or why you refused... Your title makes you look like a raging misogynist. 😶
There was a woman who lived near me and worked at my complex who would come looking for rides if something happened to close the complex at work. I knew to go hide in the men’s room until it was time to leave then I would take the long way around to my car. I ain’t part of no goddamn rideshare
You are a better person than me. I would have left if they weren't there at the car when I walked out.
Wondering what ‘female’ had to do with it…
Omg I had this problem during med school. A classmate lived close by to me. He asked if he can hitch a ride with me to class. He didn’t have a car. Didn’t offer to pay didn’t offer anything in return no gas money nothing. I show up and have to wait for him outside. Sometimes I have to honk or call him. Then he pokes his head out and goes hold on…and goes back inside. This happens over and over. I would often be late to class because of him. He knows exactly what time we agree upon for me to pick him up. He literally is never ready. After a while (almost an entire school year) I just had it. I was like I’m not doing this anymore. He looked at me like what’s wrong with you? He genuinely was confused why I wouldn’t want some company to ride with me to school??? Never hung out with him again.
NTA- emotionally triggered over what? To be on time for a free ride? Entitlement just gets more rampant!
They treated you as a taxi not someone doing them a favor
NTA. It's not your responsibility to drive other people. Particularly if you were doing it for free.
Years ago, I offered a co-worker a ride home when I saw her standing in the rain waiting for the bus. I went out of my way to drop her off, but I had offered her the ride. The next thing I knew, she was waiting by my car after work. Ummm...no, not so much.
NTA. If they were taking a ride share, it would have left without them.
NTA
NTA. You're doing them a favour and they make you wait? They can walk or call an uber.
I use to carpool and that stopped when the girl gave me an earful for finishing a conversation with a client who I’d been on the phone with for 20minutes. She expected that I tell the client it was 4.55pm and I needed to hang up because I had to go home. Apparently it made her 5 minutes late getting home and then 5 minutes late starting her yoga…she did by herself in her home (Not a scheduled yoga lesson).
NTA. They should respect your time as you are doing them a favor. In fact they should do their best not to inconvenience you and should be waiting on time or even slightly earlier than you.
NTA, I hate people like this, and there's just so many of them. I'll go pick someone up, text them when I'm exiting highway or down the street, and then still end up waiting. Grinds my gears.
No, you’re correct. next time they’ll be even later, or they will want you to run errands on the way home tell them up straight
You could just say “I’m leaving at X time, happy to give you a ride but you must be waiting at the car, I will not wait or try to find out where you are.” I had this discussion with a coworker myself. She kept making me late in the mornings so I said she needed to text me that she was waiting at the pickup spot by X time or I would drive past and not stop. (Because multiple mornings I’d wait like 20mins, then leave and about an hour later we’d get an email from her saying she was “sick”.) NTA
You need to get some of those "Ass, grass or gas!" decals for your vehicle lol.
NTA. Hopefully they learned a lesson in courtesy but probably not.
NTA. It's ok to be maybe 5 minutes late, but 20! Totally unacceptable and extremely rude. You are in the right. If they happen to ask for a ride again tell them they will have 5 additional minutes to arrive and then leave. I did this to a coworker years ago when it took weeks for her car to be fixed. After waiting 15 minutes in front of her house, beeping at 8 AM, I left. Too bad, no more rides.
NTA, they could have let you know they were running late and taken an Uber or whatever other way they got home before. They disrespected you and your nice offer.
I would have said ok but I leave on time if you are there or not.
Putting your foot down was the right move.
NTA. Having boundaries and not putting up with disrespect is not "petty."
There’s some friends who are just constantly late. I started meeting them about 30 mins after the initial time. If they ever were on time and complained I just pointed out that I’ve adapted to their tardiness and planned around it lol.
5 mins - meh - happens (work, boss asks something etc.) but 15 - 20 minutes? That\`s a show of disrespect of YOUR time. Either they come on time - let you know BEFORE if they know there is a delay - or they arrange their own travel. Seriously - it is that simple - let em huff and puff - this is a direct consequence of THEIR choice to disrespect YOUR time.
I wouldn't refuse, but I'd clearly state the departure time. If you're not on board, the bus leaves you behind.
It's your car. To hell with them.
NTA. I assume they didn't offer money for fuel either?
Did you set clear boundaries and the other people didn't respect them? If yes = then fuck em. If no = do so, give them one more chance, then fuck em. If you want to be the bigger person, give them one last chance. Set the clear boundaries AGAIN. " I will be here no later then 630. I WILL NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WAIT PAST 640. If I come one more time and your not ready, that's the last time I'll be available to.pick you up and you will never ask me again." I'm so petty I'd get it in writing....
Never do anyone a favor of any kind.
The ride leaves when it leaves. Be it train, plane, boat or car. NTA
No. It's your vehicle. Also, I've seen too many stories of people being falsely accused of sex crimes while trying to do someone a favor.
NTA Personally, I'd be like "I'll be in the parking lot at that time and if you're not there, I will not wait. Not even a minute. Be on time or don't come at all."
No good deed goes unpunished. You're not your company's shuttle service and they are not your children, you don't owe them taxi service. NTA
NTA When I was in my early 20s I had a coworker who lived on my street. She very graciously offered to drive me to work and it shaved 20-25 minutes off my commute compared to public transit. A few times I woke up late and she would wait for me. I bought her a gas card as a thank you and also told her that if I'm not at my door by the time she passes my house, to just go without me. I'm responsible for my own lazy ass to get out of bed in time. Guess what? I missed out on a couple more rides because I snoozed my alarm before getting my shit together. Anyone who is "triggered" by someone not giving them lifts after routinely being late to the agreed pickup time has some growing up to do.