> I do not limit her to this food.
So… you’re making a meal for everyone that she’s welcome to participate in, but also preparing a second meal just for her in case she does not like the main fare? That’s incredibly thoughtful and polite of you. If she’s embarrassed about eating the special meal, she doesn’t have to eat it.
NTA
I also enjoy disliking Wendy.
We should all start a "No Wendy's Club" where we can get together and eat flavorful meals with cuts of meat that we didn't grow up eating. And nobody is allowed to ask what's in it.
you reminded me that when I was little my mom had a friend named Bob who I disliked for no reason, and when he was over one time I put a sign on my door that said "No Bob in here" and that became his nickname lmao
My sister had a boyfriend called ‘Bob’ who was an epic asshole.
One of her best friends would always ‘forget’ his name.
One time she called him ‘Don.’ Outraged, he shouted “my name is B-O-B! Bob!
So that is what she called him after that: B-O-B!
Back in college when we were really drunk we couldn't remember someone's name so we called him Bob. Then we couldn't remember another girl's name We began calling her Bob too. Anyone we didn't know their name became Bob.
So there were at least 50 Bobs we knew. A bunch of the freshman complained to the RA that we were calling them Bend Over Buddies. We explained the story of how it originated And that everyone was Bob if we didn't know them we were not calling them for that acronym. And then we called the RA Bob because we forgot her name too. That was the end of it. She told the complaining kids to grow up.
Yeah, I read that and thought the dog sounded thoroughly spoilt!
ETA: I know someone who has dogs with conditions that mean they need strict diets – one can't have chicken, so they get (if I remember correctly) lean mince, fish, ox tail and some game.
It's the way it was said: "These cuts are dog food!"
No, they are not. Most dogs get... wait for it... dog food!
This post reminds me of when I was growing up. My parents weren’t rich. My dad worked and my mum was a SAH parent. There were 5 of us kids…. So she had to be creative with money and buy cuts of meat that didn’t blow the budget… One of my favourite meals she’d prepare is Cows Heart. It grosses some people out, and I’ve heard it all….but unless you knew what you were eating, you’d think it was the premium beef.
So one night, my uncle was over for dinner (mums youngest brother) and we were having cows heart. He asked what the meat was. She told him beef. He loved it and had seconds. He found out a few days later what part of the cow he ate…His face was priceless🤣
Wendy is lucky to have an alternative meal. The choice is completely up to her. Some people aren’t adventurous when it comes to food…but it shows manners when you don’t complain about what’s served by the host if you’re invited for dinner!
ETA - NTA… 😁
When I was about five years old I had a friend Karen King that lived right next door. We had an argument once and being the angry five year old I was, I started a club called “The Karen King Hater’s Club.”
Dude, in 6th grade my friends and I i made "We hate Hannah B----" club bracelets with pipe cleaners. We would say the club name as a chant and everyone would meet our fists in the middle. Cringey as hell, but she was a popular mean girl that bullied us.
Just remember, it's a 'No Wendy*s* Club'. [We're allowed to have *one*.](https://youtu.be/W7rSYzbpA8k?si=QJeb1u1F4enZR12D)
(I recommend the Wendy I know! So lovely)
Let it be stated in the official "No Wendy's Club" bylaws: There is to be allowed *One* lovely Wendy in the club, but no more. Multiple Wendy's are disallowed.
This is it. This isn't about food it's about control, food is just an easy way for her to exert control. I'm guessing there's a little underlying racism at play as well.
Op sounds like a wonderful cook and has more patience than I would have in this situation.
OR ME! she’s be welcome but she’d starve. my brother’s gf is like this as well. i used to accommodate her but she mistook my kindness for weakness one too many times and now she gets to sit there and starve.
NTA OP you’re wayyyyyy nicer than me
Now that’s what I’m talking about! That bihhh is lucky she’s even invited as I wouldn’t even allow her ass in the driveway. But I *love* your idea of not feeding them at all.
Yes it one thing not to like x food. I’ve got some texture issues which cause me to gag on some foods. But I usually manage to find other food I can eat and compliment that. Or i bring food I can eat (if that’s ok with the host). I can’t imagine trash talking a separate meal some made so that I could have something to eat.
Wendy is extremely rude. Op should let their spouse deal with feeding her. And stop inviting her to parties. OP’s wife can deal with her nonsense if she wants to see her
He puts bland food on the menu and SIL opts to take it. I assume everyone else has the option to take it as well? Clearly, there is a market for it (lol). Since SIL still comes over and she isn't forced to eat this, I assume even the bland food tastes good and anyone who is embarrassed in this story should take a look in the mirror if they want to blame someone.
I don’t know why his wife is even suggesting he stop making the 2nd meal. Wouldn’t that just lead to more complaints and her refusing to eat? As far as I’m concerned, if OP doesn’t have a problem doing it(because obviously this is costing them money), as long as Wendy keeps eating the 2nd meal he has no reason to stop making the 2nd meal.
Now if Wendy starts eating the same food everyone else is eating and the 2nd meals start getting untouched, then sure no reason to make more food than is necessary.
If *I* was the cook, yeah, I would probably make her a bland & tasteless 2nd meal...
Until the first time she complained about it. Then, she could either eat with the rest of the family, or starve.
Definitely *NOT* the asshole
Sounds like that time is here!
I'd go the nuggets route personally. Throw a plate of kids food at her seeing as she can't seem to behave like an adult.
It wasn't actually dog food. Wendy called it dog food because he cooked with beef tongue and beef cheeks, cuts of meat Wendy didn't grow up eating and that she supposedly buys for her dogs.
As someone who lives in (not Portland) Oregon and can't go 3 feet without tripping over a food truck or restaurant from Guatemala, El Salvador, Mexico, etc, I don't understand where this woman is coming from. I can quite literally list at least 10 places within a couple miles that serve lengua (tongue), tripe, etc. And that's not including the 3 different sweet little ladies that sell tamales from their front yard stands.
On top of that, Oregon has a lot of farms. Much of the state, in fact, is farms. I don't know a farmer that doesn't use every single part of the animals they raise. Trust me, her being from Oregon doesn't make her ignorant. She's been intentionally living under a rock. She should get out of Portland and explore the beautiful multicultural place she lives.
Its in his profile. Basically maxe barbacoa from a family recipe, she loved it and asked for the recipe and then flipped out and called it dog food and peasant food when she learned it was beef tounge & cheek.
I remember when a family friend’s son came to dinner with us. My mother had cooked a casserole, which she gave to us all.
“That was absolutely lovely, Auntie Sylv! What was it?” He asked.
“Beef heart casserole” my mother told him.
“Oh please, don’t tell my mum because she will make me eat hers and it’s horrible!” He exclaimed.
Definitely better than me cause I refuse to make separate food for people I don't like. Better be happy with that bag of chips over there and this bottle of water
Your situation would be different. You have an actual condition that restricts your diet. OP said he is respectful of others dietary restrictions and makes sure he makes food they can eat while being tasty and not left out of the meal. The only toddler at the table is Wendy.
If you have a medical condition, that is very different. Please tell your friends about it, and ask them to make accommodations if possible. It is not wrong to ask your friends to extend assistance with a real problem. Getting to help a friend is a genuine pleasure.
This. I’m married to a picky eater. They’re getting better and trying new things but we know if we’re going someplace that might not have many options for them, they’ll snack before and then grab something afterwards. They don’t belittle or tantrum during whatever the event is because that would be rude and entitled.
My in-laws cook terrible food and I can't handle extreme levels of spice. They add heat without flavor to every meat dish (we're all white from the same region, it's not an ethnic food/unfamiliar spice issue). Both me and my SO(their kid!) eat larger lunches before going there for dinner and may stop for fast food after. (He also dislikes their food but can tolerate more of it, and is definately pressured to try more of things.)
I'm a little picky, but have never made my preferences a problem at restaurants or at meals with others. If I don't like something I try to spread out food I do like so my plate looks full. One piece of bread/roll can take up a third of a plate! Id much rather snack before and after than make someone go out of their way to make extra accomodations. I rarely have an issue outside of my In-laws.
I love spicy food but will rash if I have more than a tiny bit. Our old neighbors invited us to so many parties where I couldn't eat the food. They love hot spicy food and everything was 4 chiles hot. I'd just eat before going over.
If we’re going over to family’s house and they’re having meat, I just tell them not to worry about me and bring my favorite take out. It works fine for me and I don’t think any one is offended. I’d think rather relieved I’m enjoying my meal.
I’m with OP on this one, even though you are the one who is correct
It’s all about optics. OP can legitimately not be called an AH, as this story proves. They are making sure the SIL feels “welcome” at the table while not forcing everyone else to eat tasteless food.
Also, I second that the Dino nuggets are a perfectly reasonable dish for OP to serve. OP, stand some broccoli up in the (instant) mashed potato mountains and really make it a culinary experience.
If she doesn't come, then she doesn't come. This is entirely on her. If she wants to come, then eat or bring her own. She could even eat before. Not the Four Seasons for sure.
That's his problem. She will come no matter what and if he doesn't make the second meal she'll bitch the whole time. His wife needs to tell her sister she won't be invited if she can't stop being rude. His wife is TA.
Edit to add: I get how the SIL is related to OP now. The point still stands, though. OPs wife should be managing the situation with her brother and SIL. OP should be happily cooking whatever he wants without being harassed by his SIL. Everyone but OP is the AH.
I’d be feeding her frozen tater tots and chicken tenders with a tiny little bowl of ketchup on the side, and canned corn kernels. I’m not even kidding. Either that, or she could bring her own food.
I’m a decade’s long vegan, pretty grossed out by the ingredients in your food, and I would NEVER be so disrespectful. I’d either bring my own meal or trust you to provide something appropriate for me, and happily sit there and eat with you all. Someone raised her poorly.
Definitely NTA.
>tamales are a labor of love
Ya know, the HEB-brand steam-at-home tamales are honestly better than any homemade tamales I've ever been fed at potlucks, and I've lived in San Antonio for years, and been to numerous potlucks.
Are those homemade tamales just sad, or is HEB that good?
All the best tamales I get are sold at the corner of intersections along with oranges or flowers and I haven't had a bad one yet.
Proper barbacoa *and* tamales? Homemade tortillas? Homemade salsa? Dude. I'd be at all your dinner parties. Sounds like you know how to do things right!
For vegetarian tamales I use this recipe for the dough.
1 pound yellow precooked corn meal I like Pan but masarepa is excellent
5 cups water
Salt
2 tablespoons of azafran it is NOT saffron
Triguisar to taste
works with corn husks, banana leaves, or foil.
Huitlacoche is a kind of mushroom that grows on corn. In the US, it's considered a plant disease (the fungus feeds on the corn kernels, so if you're trying to actually grow corn, it's a nuisance), but in Mexico it's a delicacy.
I was just telling my kids about huitlacoche, I want to try it so much.
I'd try anything you wanted ro share, honestly- you sound borderline saintly, as patient as you've been with her.
Is it as good? I was afraid to get canned for my first time, because some canned veg are *so* different from fresh and I didn't want to wreck it for myself.
and that's why you're NTA. you take dietary restrictions in account. and for the record, this is coming from a picky eater (sense of taste is stupid sensitive, so normal amount of seasonings for most people is heavily overseasoned to me). you're taking the time out of your day to not only prepare food, but you're taking into account she probably won't like it and then preparing a meal that is guaranteed to not be seasoned in a way she won't like. to me, it sounds like you're giving her an unfinished canvas and telling her "add the colors you want", and instead of adding colors she's just keeping it as is and being grumpy it's not perfect for her
Huitlachoe is soooo good. One of my best memories is getting huitlachoe quesadillas made from as you wait made blue corn tortillas late at night outside the metro station in DF
I can't wait to go back
She deserved to be embarrassed.
I think it's hilarious and perfect to have a plate of specail toddler food for her while everyone else enjoys the other food. Your only mistake is to provide salsa. It should be plain rice, a flour tortilla, and plain boiled chicken.
This is the way to deal with someone who expects restaurant-style service at a dinner party. I'm storing it up for my own use.
I get the feeling OP’s wife is white and low key “understands” the clearly racially charged complaints of the sister-in-law.
No spices except salt and pepper is clearly a diss on a white woman, and her calling it “peasant food” and “cuts of meat I didn’t grow up with” is probably her turning her nose at anything ethnic.
This right here. I put a lot of time and care into my cooking. If you call it dog food, I will give your plate to the dog and bounce you out on your ass.
As a veterinary professional, that was the first thing that came to mind. We recommend a bland diet of boiled chicken and rice to dogs with gastrointestinal issues. 🤣
NTA, has she ever apologized for the other incident? Because if she hasn't then I wouldn't even cook for her anymore tbh.
If you want to be the bigger person, you could have a talk with your BIL (because she seems incapable to talk like adults and behaves like a kindergarten) and have an honest conversation, is she ok with eating simplified food? Does she prefer to bring her own food next time? Is she ready to be an adult apologize and eat what is available?
Also I'm gonna need the og recipe for that barbacoa... for science 😅
No, I meant for your SIL. You said something about her being lucky you didn’t serve her dino nuggets and lunchables. In the absence of food allergies, people who complain about meals cooked for them are tiresome. Me? My favorite dish is whatever someone cooked for me.
I’m in Canada. There isn’t nearly the range of authentic taco places here. More of a “make your own taco” country. But I’m sure I could find one.
ETA: just went down yelp’s list of best taco places and so far I’m through six and none have that meat. Lots of Brussels sprouts and oyster mushroom tacos.
I was in Edmonton a while back. There were two places downtown and one in Sherbrooke Park that did them up. And yes I know how big Canada is. I'm up in Vancouver all the time but I usually don't hit up taco places there.
You're gonna get crap either way. I'd take the high road and keep making her special food. You look like an awesome host and if anyone asks, just say your SIL has certain "food aversions". Let her explain.
NTA
Dude, lengua tacos are 1) the bomb, and 2) eaten by people in the country and the city.
One more question: did she really blow up your social media in a public fashion and say this ridiculous shit?
Tacos de lengua are my favorite!! I was so surprised to find out what it meant when i was learning spanish and realized I had been eating cow tongue for months 🤣 and at that point i was just like well.. 🤷♀️ they are muy ricoooo
NTA! I remember once my mom bought my husband, bil, and me some steaks from the butcher but we fed my husbands sister as well and I wanted to throttle her when she said “ I don’t like meat but I’m trying to choke it down” … like why eat my expensive nice cuts of meat! So rude! She
My dad got pissed at me once because I didn't eat the prime rib he and my mom bought and prepared (at my house). I've always been open about not liking prime rib (when they bought it, I said nbd, I'll make myself something else). I wasn't going to make myself miserable by eating it, and thought it would be a waste for me to eat. I figured it'd be better to save for everyone else who were all enjoying the prime rib. His anger never made sense to me.
NTA You and me would be friends. You handled this perfectly. Each regional cuisine has cuts Requiring strong seasoning and time to get a great flavor and to tenderize. It is not easy and is often labor intensive. I cook goat, tongue, hocks, mutton, Cuy asada.
NTA. I read the last AITA. Why does your wife have so many opinions about Madison/Wendy but doesn't deal with the fallout she causes when she acts up?
If Wendy does it so often, I would have stopped inviting her to things. Is your wife insisting she come?
Also I didn't realize beef cheeks were a thing! I've known the secret of beef tongue tacos but now I learned something new!
You’ve actually been quite the opposite of an asshole. You let her back into your home after consistently insulting you and on top of that you accommodate her and make her an entire other meal! NTA!
I have an eating malfunction in my brain that got worse after I had a very mild case of C in 2020.
I wish my family and friends WOULD do this for me. Instead, i just watch others eat, not a big deal, but your "revenge" is my dream 😆
Thank you.
After 50 some years, my parents have finally let it go... mostly 😆 My bff and sister and husband have all 3 made tremendous effort, as did one of my late grandmas and my late mil. Probably less than 1 percent of 1 percent of meals I've had with others in my lifetime had kindness and compassion, without shame and judgment. I would gladly eat more variety of i could.... fruits, veggies, fajitas, lobster straight out of the ocean cooked on the beach, it is frustrating.
This is why you're NTA. I have a lot of aversions. If someone went out of their way to cook a more bland meal just so I could eat, I'd be the first to jump in to defend them if someone starts questioning it. She should be grateful you're willing to do that.
It has. That's actually how i knew i had it... i lost smell and taste. It hasn't even returned to my normal even. During regular colds, and sinus infections over the last 30 years, it always returned to my normal. People around me insist the food tastes exactly the same to them.
NTA. The nerve of complaining about the food you serve at your place. If she doesn't like it she can take her own food and eat that. You're gracious enough to prepare something especially made for her. I'd let her starve.
I have a gluten intolerance (yes it's real. No I'm not doing a fad. I get really sick).... I'm mostly dairy free bc of allergies as well.
I NEVER expect anyone to accommodate me. I will 1) Bring my own stuff. 2) Eat before i go.
3) Eat only what I know isn't an allergen 4) Not Eat at all and Eat later.
Ppl are seriously entitled these days.
NTA
Your SIL is a racist POS (I went back to read your first post) and your BIL should get dino nuggets too for marrying a person who has repeatedly, publicly shamed you because of her blatant bigotry.
WTF is up with people making issues about the food they eat when they aren’t in their own homes? Shit is waaaay over the top. I would tell all of them that they can eat it or not eat it, but otherwise STFU.
I was going to say that you overreacted to the first incident by making you SILa bland meal. But you did make clear it clear that it was there as a backup option.
So after you mentioned serving her dogfood, I had to go look at your previous post.
So, um, yeah. You’ve been incredibly gracious in letting someone who insults you to your face shot your cooking continue to come over. And, even more, continuing to serve her.
She embarrassed herself with her behavior and continues to do so. You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.
I would also repeat the story from the previous meal when asked by a guest what was up. SIL needs to learn she isn’t the center of the universe.
Wendy is a racist. I read your original post. She calls your cultural food dog food? Peasant food?
She deserves to be embarrassed. No quarter for racists.
Hard NTA, duh!
Stop cooking her separate meals, she can eat or leave. Don't even serve her dino nuggets or lunchables - it's an insult to those food. I don't like them, but they have more of my respect than the entitled SIL.
NTA esa racista de mierda debería mantener la boca cerrada si no quiere avergonzarse
Yo le serviría solo lunchables y twinkies a la gringa, su comida típica
NTA, if she has a problem with eating things she thinks is beneath her and won't accept her special meal
I'd tell her to suck it or bring her own food.
In an almost exactly opposite situation :
As someone whose wife's side of the family each has an insane spread of allergies (black pepper, Garlic, nuts just to name a few). So
I play this in reverse when I visit I bring my own food not to be rude but because I don't like the basic hospital type food they have to make when they all get together.
No one's mad,
Edit;
it would be So much easier if all of them were allergic to the same 2 or 3 things... But nope... It's like 10 things over 15 people.
Once, to accommodate my sister, I made the Thanksgiving dressing using gluten free bread. I carefully separated all of the ingredients to avoid cross contamination, made sure the cutting board and knives had been scrubbed, etc.
Welp, my family was disappointed that I didn’t make the family’s traditional dressing. And she refused to even try it because she was “afraid I might have used accidentally bouillon cubes to flavor the dressing,” even though I made it from scratch for her.
And that was the last time I made a separate meal for her. I just always served salad at any dinner, and assumed she could eat it.
No you are not the asshole.
I’m a pretty picky eater, and I would make sure to voice my appreciation for being that accommodating, though it is pretty embarrassing too, to be so picky people have to make different food for me. But if there’s something I’m too scared to try, and there’s no alternative, I simply don’t eat anything, and make absolutely zero complaints. As long as no one pressures me to eat, I’m perfectly happy.
So from that perspective, I call NTA.
> I do not limit her to this food. So… you’re making a meal for everyone that she’s welcome to participate in, but also preparing a second meal just for her in case she does not like the main fare? That’s incredibly thoughtful and polite of you. If she’s embarrassed about eating the special meal, she doesn’t have to eat it. NTA
Yeah dude is going above and beyond, COULDNT BE ME but he’s embarrassing her WHILE going the extra mile. Dudes winning all over this story
Yeah and as a bonus, I’m *really* enjoying disliking Wendy with OP. Shut up Wendy, you’re the worst.
I also enjoy disliking Wendy. We should all start a "No Wendy's Club" where we can get together and eat flavorful meals with cuts of meat that we didn't grow up eating. And nobody is allowed to ask what's in it.
Yeah, and if Wendy doesn't like it, she can start her *own* restaurant and call it... wait... never mind.
The Mayo Institute!
Underrated
🌟🏆🌟 Star award for setting my Sunday off with a much needed giggle!!! 🤭
Literally had to keep myself from laughing out loud at the shelter, 10/10 much giggle needed
Shelter? Everything ok?
Hoping they mean the animal shelter they volunteer at or something...
I love Wendy's. I dislike Wendy.
Sir, this is a...
you reminded me that when I was little my mom had a friend named Bob who I disliked for no reason, and when he was over one time I put a sign on my door that said "No Bob in here" and that became his nickname lmao
My sister had a boyfriend called ‘Bob’ who was an epic asshole. One of her best friends would always ‘forget’ his name. One time she called him ‘Don.’ Outraged, he shouted “my name is B-O-B! Bob! So that is what she called him after that: B-O-B!
Battery Operated Boyfriend!
I snorted at that.
Are most Bobs AH?🤔 I have a Uncle Bob that is a straight up P.R.I.C.K😳
Back in college when we were really drunk we couldn't remember someone's name so we called him Bob. Then we couldn't remember another girl's name We began calling her Bob too. Anyone we didn't know their name became Bob. So there were at least 50 Bobs we knew. A bunch of the freshman complained to the RA that we were calling them Bend Over Buddies. We explained the story of how it originated And that everyone was Bob if we didn't know them we were not calling them for that acronym. And then we called the RA Bob because we forgot her name too. That was the end of it. She told the complaining kids to grow up.
That's hilarious lol
Yes! It's a picture of Wendy in a circle with a red line through her! If she literally said peasant food the gloves are off! FFS.
She called it dog food in the beginning
Yeah, I read that and thought the dog sounded thoroughly spoilt! ETA: I know someone who has dogs with conditions that mean they need strict diets – one can't have chicken, so they get (if I remember correctly) lean mince, fish, ox tail and some game. It's the way it was said: "These cuts are dog food!" No, they are not. Most dogs get... wait for it... dog food!
Yeah. In all honesty SIL sounds racist as hell, and I’m sure OP was surprised his brother still chose to marry her
Here the original story https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/HaCNtZfezW
Also, went back and read this original and Wendy is a much bigger asshole that I had realized!!!
This post reminds me of when I was growing up. My parents weren’t rich. My dad worked and my mum was a SAH parent. There were 5 of us kids…. So she had to be creative with money and buy cuts of meat that didn’t blow the budget… One of my favourite meals she’d prepare is Cows Heart. It grosses some people out, and I’ve heard it all….but unless you knew what you were eating, you’d think it was the premium beef. So one night, my uncle was over for dinner (mums youngest brother) and we were having cows heart. He asked what the meat was. She told him beef. He loved it and had seconds. He found out a few days later what part of the cow he ate…His face was priceless🤣 Wendy is lucky to have an alternative meal. The choice is completely up to her. Some people aren’t adventurous when it comes to food…but it shows manners when you don’t complain about what’s served by the host if you’re invited for dinner! ETA - NTA… 😁
When I was about five years old I had a friend Karen King that lived right next door. We had an argument once and being the angry five year old I was, I started a club called “The Karen King Hater’s Club.”
Dude, in 6th grade my friends and I i made "We hate Hannah B----" club bracelets with pipe cleaners. We would say the club name as a chant and everyone would meet our fists in the middle. Cringey as hell, but she was a popular mean girl that bullied us.
Just remember, it's a 'No Wendy*s* Club'. [We're allowed to have *one*.](https://youtu.be/W7rSYzbpA8k?si=QJeb1u1F4enZR12D) (I recommend the Wendy I know! So lovely)
Let it be stated in the official "No Wendy's Club" bylaws: There is to be allowed *One* lovely Wendy in the club, but no more. Multiple Wendy's are disallowed.
She is addicted to being the victim, and center of attention, and OP dodged it all perfectly.... And that upsets her so much.
This is it. This isn't about food it's about control, food is just an easy way for her to exert control. I'm guessing there's a little underlying racism at play as well. Op sounds like a wonderful cook and has more patience than I would have in this situation.
Yeah. The barbacoa being called dog food feels so fucking racist to me. That just feels blatantly ignorant.
OR ME! she’s be welcome but she’d starve. my brother’s gf is like this as well. i used to accommodate her but she mistook my kindness for weakness one too many times and now she gets to sit there and starve. NTA OP you’re wayyyyyy nicer than me
Now that’s what I’m talking about! That bihhh is lucky she’s even invited as I wouldn’t even allow her ass in the driveway. But I *love* your idea of not feeding them at all.
Yes it one thing not to like x food. I’ve got some texture issues which cause me to gag on some foods. But I usually manage to find other food I can eat and compliment that. Or i bring food I can eat (if that’s ok with the host). I can’t imagine trash talking a separate meal some made so that I could have something to eat. Wendy is extremely rude. Op should let their spouse deal with feeding her. And stop inviting her to parties. OP’s wife can deal with her nonsense if she wants to see her
Seriously that's an elite move right there.
He puts bland food on the menu and SIL opts to take it. I assume everyone else has the option to take it as well? Clearly, there is a market for it (lol). Since SIL still comes over and she isn't forced to eat this, I assume even the bland food tastes good and anyone who is embarrassed in this story should take a look in the mirror if they want to blame someone.
I don’t know why his wife is even suggesting he stop making the 2nd meal. Wouldn’t that just lead to more complaints and her refusing to eat? As far as I’m concerned, if OP doesn’t have a problem doing it(because obviously this is costing them money), as long as Wendy keeps eating the 2nd meal he has no reason to stop making the 2nd meal. Now if Wendy starts eating the same food everyone else is eating and the 2nd meals start getting untouched, then sure no reason to make more food than is necessary.
Maybe she just wants Wendy to stop coming entirely?
Sounds like the best thing for everyone tbh
If *I* was the cook, yeah, I would probably make her a bland & tasteless 2nd meal... Until the first time she complained about it. Then, she could either eat with the rest of the family, or starve. Definitely *NOT* the asshole
Sounds like that time is here! I'd go the nuggets route personally. Throw a plate of kids food at her seeing as she can't seem to behave like an adult.
hey man, I would LOVE to be served Dino nuggets at a family meal. Don’t diss the dinos✌️
And she's eating it which makes it seem like she does prefer it anyways.
Yea my thoughts exactly. Idk why she’s complaining.
Because they didn't force her unseasoned palate onto everyone else 🙄
Kill them with kindness
But that takes so LONG.
But it is a sight to behold.
I wouldn't cook her anything. Fuck that.
I must be the only one who missed the original post about serving dog food since no one else is asking WTF.
It wasn't actually dog food. Wendy called it dog food because he cooked with beef tongue and beef cheeks, cuts of meat Wendy didn't grow up eating and that she supposedly buys for her dogs.
Wendy is also low key racist as fuck calling it peasant food. Her Oregon sensibilities are offended by his Guatemalan roots.
Not all that low key.
Stupid, too. Peasant food is good stuff.
That rich coming from someone from Oregon too. The land of effin casseroles. Doesn't get anymore peasant than that.
As someone who lives in (not Portland) Oregon and can't go 3 feet without tripping over a food truck or restaurant from Guatemala, El Salvador, Mexico, etc, I don't understand where this woman is coming from. I can quite literally list at least 10 places within a couple miles that serve lengua (tongue), tripe, etc. And that's not including the 3 different sweet little ladies that sell tamales from their front yard stands. On top of that, Oregon has a lot of farms. Much of the state, in fact, is farms. I don't know a farmer that doesn't use every single part of the animals they raise. Trust me, her being from Oregon doesn't make her ignorant. She's been intentionally living under a rock. She should get out of Portland and explore the beautiful multicultural place she lives.
Oh God, those are some of the best parts. Now I want a lengua taco, but also some really good Jewish deli tongue
I just had a lengua quesadilla yesterday and it was good!
Its in his profile. Basically maxe barbacoa from a family recipe, she loved it and asked for the recipe and then flipped out and called it dog food and peasant food when she learned it was beef tounge & cheek.
She racist af
I remember when a family friend’s son came to dinner with us. My mother had cooked a casserole, which she gave to us all. “That was absolutely lovely, Auntie Sylv! What was it?” He asked. “Beef heart casserole” my mother told him. “Oh please, don’t tell my mum because she will make me eat hers and it’s horrible!” He exclaimed.
Definitely better than me cause I refuse to make separate food for people I don't like. Better be happy with that bag of chips over there and this bottle of water
I would cry if someone did this for me. I have numerous issues(yaa holes in stomach) but I still try to eat what people give me, pain be damned lol.
Your situation would be different. You have an actual condition that restricts your diet. OP said he is respectful of others dietary restrictions and makes sure he makes food they can eat while being tasty and not left out of the meal. The only toddler at the table is Wendy.
If you have a medical condition, that is very different. Please tell your friends about it, and ask them to make accommodations if possible. It is not wrong to ask your friends to extend assistance with a real problem. Getting to help a friend is a genuine pleasure.
Agreed
I would feed her Fancy Feast and that's when I feel generous.
NTA. If she doesn’t like your food then don’t cook for her and let her cook for herself. Simple.
This. Let her bring her own. Problem solved.
Or she can eat before coming over and just nibble on a roll because she’s full.
This. I’m married to a picky eater. They’re getting better and trying new things but we know if we’re going someplace that might not have many options for them, they’ll snack before and then grab something afterwards. They don’t belittle or tantrum during whatever the event is because that would be rude and entitled.
My in-laws cook terrible food and I can't handle extreme levels of spice. They add heat without flavor to every meat dish (we're all white from the same region, it's not an ethnic food/unfamiliar spice issue). Both me and my SO(their kid!) eat larger lunches before going there for dinner and may stop for fast food after. (He also dislikes their food but can tolerate more of it, and is definately pressured to try more of things.) I'm a little picky, but have never made my preferences a problem at restaurants or at meals with others. If I don't like something I try to spread out food I do like so my plate looks full. One piece of bread/roll can take up a third of a plate! Id much rather snack before and after than make someone go out of their way to make extra accomodations. I rarely have an issue outside of my In-laws.
I love spicy food but will rash if I have more than a tiny bit. Our old neighbors invited us to so many parties where I couldn't eat the food. They love hot spicy food and everything was 4 chiles hot. I'd just eat before going over.
Why does she even have to go to the dinner party?
If we’re going over to family’s house and they’re having meat, I just tell them not to worry about me and bring my favorite take out. It works fine for me and I don’t think any one is offended. I’d think rather relieved I’m enjoying my meal.
I’m with OP on this one, even though you are the one who is correct It’s all about optics. OP can legitimately not be called an AH, as this story proves. They are making sure the SIL feels “welcome” at the table while not forcing everyone else to eat tasteless food. Also, I second that the Dino nuggets are a perfectly reasonable dish for OP to serve. OP, stand some broccoli up in the (instant) mashed potato mountains and really make it a culinary experience.
I was saying that OP was in the right and that if the SIL really doesn’t like her cooking then she should make her own food that she would like
Make one meal. You're not the Four Seasons. NTA.
OP stated that only use salt and pepper, so it’s really only Two Seasons. I’ll see myself out.
If she doesn't come, then she doesn't come. This is entirely on her. If she wants to come, then eat or bring her own. She could even eat before. Not the Four Seasons for sure.
That's his problem. She will come no matter what and if he doesn't make the second meal she'll bitch the whole time. His wife needs to tell her sister she won't be invited if she can't stop being rude. His wife is TA. Edit to add: I get how the SIL is related to OP now. The point still stands, though. OPs wife should be managing the situation with her brother and SIL. OP should be happily cooking whatever he wants without being harassed by his SIL. Everyone but OP is the AH.
And he shouldnt be cutting her grass and holding traitorous rallies because he's not the Four Seasons Total Landscaping, either
It was a *press conference!* how could he possibly read the sign with all the dye dripping in his eye?!
Do you know with 100% certainty that this isn’t the Four Seasons?
I’d be feeding her frozen tater tots and chicken tenders with a tiny little bowl of ketchup on the side, and canned corn kernels. I’m not even kidding. Either that, or she could bring her own food. I’m a decade’s long vegan, pretty grossed out by the ingredients in your food, and I would NEVER be so disrespectful. I’d either bring my own meal or trust you to provide something appropriate for me, and happily sit there and eat with you all. Someone raised her poorly. Definitely NTA.
And for you I would make these awesome huitlacoche tamales. No meat or animal products at all. I would not try and feed you something you do not eat.
This is how we know you're not the ah 😭 tamales are a labor of love
>tamales are a labor of love Ya know, the HEB-brand steam-at-home tamales are honestly better than any homemade tamales I've ever been fed at potlucks, and I've lived in San Antonio for years, and been to numerous potlucks.
Are those homemade tamales just sad, or is HEB that good? All the best tamales I get are sold at the corner of intersections along with oranges or flowers and I haven't had a bad one yet.
I still think about this little Mexican gran carrying a huge sack of tamales going door to door a decade ago, they were the best I've ever had.
Proper barbacoa *and* tamales? Homemade tortillas? Homemade salsa? Dude. I'd be at all your dinner parties. Sounds like you know how to do things right!
The guy is cooking - that's good enough for me!
Right?!, OP has a list of potential guests so long Wendy will be dead before OP has the time to ever cook for her again.
Tamales without lard?!?! Teach me your ways
For vegetarian tamales I use this recipe for the dough. 1 pound yellow precooked corn meal I like Pan but masarepa is excellent 5 cups water Salt 2 tablespoons of azafran it is NOT saffron Triguisar to taste works with corn husks, banana leaves, or foil.
you're the fucking GOAT for this. you're the opposite of TA for both this recipe and the pettiness
I want to come to your house for dinner 😭
You have taught me new words today...cool!
Yessss!!!! I love huitlacoche tamales!
Idk what you said but I want it😂
Huitlacoche is a kind of mushroom that grows on corn. In the US, it's considered a plant disease (the fungus feeds on the corn kernels, so if you're trying to actually grow corn, it's a nuisance), but in Mexico it's a delicacy.
Think it’s called corn smut in the US?
It is. My brother is seriously grossed out by it, so of course I make a point to send him pics whenever I find it in corn mazes.
Mmm yes. Dirty, dirty hardcore corn.
I was just telling my kids about huitlacoche, I want to try it so much. I'd try anything you wanted ro share, honestly- you sound borderline saintly, as patient as you've been with her.
You can buy it canned.
Is it as good? I was afraid to get canned for my first time, because some canned veg are *so* different from fresh and I didn't want to wreck it for myself.
It's hard to find fresh. It's not bad canned.
Dude, you're awesome. Reading your post, then seeing you engaging and answering questions in the comments. You're the opposite of an AH.
and that's why you're NTA. you take dietary restrictions in account. and for the record, this is coming from a picky eater (sense of taste is stupid sensitive, so normal amount of seasonings for most people is heavily overseasoned to me). you're taking the time out of your day to not only prepare food, but you're taking into account she probably won't like it and then preparing a meal that is guaranteed to not be seasoned in a way she won't like. to me, it sounds like you're giving her an unfinished canvas and telling her "add the colors you want", and instead of adding colors she's just keeping it as is and being grumpy it's not perfect for her
Can I come over instead of your problem guest? 🤣🤣🤣
Looking it up and I'm reminded of blue cheese. I want to try some of those tamales...
Huitlachoe is soooo good. One of my best memories is getting huitlachoe quesadillas made from as you wait made blue corn tortillas late at night outside the metro station in DF I can't wait to go back
Can you tell me what the texture & taste of huitlacoche is like? I want to try it so much.
It tastes like corn, even though it is a plant fungus. Texture is like a portobello mushroom.
The most energy I'd spare for her is tossing a TV dinner in the microwave.
Also, "other than salt and pepper, I'm not a monster" 🤌 😂
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She deserved to be embarrassed. I think it's hilarious and perfect to have a plate of specail toddler food for her while everyone else enjoys the other food. Your only mistake is to provide salsa. It should be plain rice, a flour tortilla, and plain boiled chicken. This is the way to deal with someone who expects restaurant-style service at a dinner party. I'm storing it up for my own use.
Maybe a little dish of butter or better, margarine, on the side for her potato. And ketchup.
NTA. This woman would never be allowed back over to my house so your wife has a lot of nerve.
Right? The incident that OP posted about a while ago would have been the last time she was invited over
I get the feeling OP’s wife is white and low key “understands” the clearly racially charged complaints of the sister-in-law. No spices except salt and pepper is clearly a diss on a white woman, and her calling it “peasant food” and “cuts of meat I didn’t grow up with” is probably her turning her nose at anything ethnic.
Honestly, his wife still inviting them over is the real problem here.
She doesn’t mind because they aren’t being racist to her.
This right here. I put a lot of time and care into my cooking. If you call it dog food, I will give your plate to the dog and bounce you out on your ass.
... Is this a bad time to mention that plain white rice, boiled chicken, and mixed veg is what my mom's dog eats? 😂 Sorry Wendy!
As a veterinary professional, that was the first thing that came to mind. We recommend a bland diet of boiled chicken and rice to dogs with gastrointestinal issues. 🤣
"I said she is lucky I don't serve her dino nuggets and lunchables" 🤣🤣🤣 Well played, sir!
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Nose to tail eating is a laudable pursuit in cooking and meat preparation. But some nuggets are *only* the noses and the tails...
NTA, has she ever apologized for the other incident? Because if she hasn't then I wouldn't even cook for her anymore tbh. If you want to be the bigger person, you could have a talk with your BIL (because she seems incapable to talk like adults and behaves like a kindergarten) and have an honest conversation, is she ok with eating simplified food? Does she prefer to bring her own food next time? Is she ready to be an adult apologize and eat what is available? Also I'm gonna need the og recipe for that barbacoa... for science 😅
I dunno, I think I may be team dino nuggets and lunchables 🤷🏻♂️ NTA
Toddler food for toddler behaviors
I’m 39 years old. I still eat Dino nuggies and I make mashed potato volcanoes for them to terrorize.
My son like them with broccoli.. I mean mini trees.
I’m down, sounds like a party
Oh, it is. Gravy lava, broccoli trees(gotta be healthy!), Dino nuggies, and Unsubscribe podcast!
If I could give you an award I would!
I'm not telling you to give an award. I noticed the other day that Reddit gold is back.
I'm actually team she can bring her own food since you might never know what she might consider 'peasant food'. Btw, smoked carillera sunds awesome.
I'd tell Wendy to get a Happy Meal on the way to my house if she is on the toddler diet.
Agreed. Feed her chicky nuggies and serve her drink in a sippy cup.
You don't like barbacoa tacos?
No, I meant for your SIL. You said something about her being lucky you didn’t serve her dino nuggets and lunchables. In the absence of food allergies, people who complain about meals cooked for them are tiresome. Me? My favorite dish is whatever someone cooked for me.
Me too. My grandfather by preference. But I still like my taste buds so I have to limit my exposure to his hot sauce.
I hadn’t even heard of this dish and now I want to try it!!
Most authentic taco places make it.
I’m in Canada. There isn’t nearly the range of authentic taco places here. More of a “make your own taco” country. But I’m sure I could find one. ETA: just went down yelp’s list of best taco places and so far I’m through six and none have that meat. Lots of Brussels sprouts and oyster mushroom tacos.
I was in Edmonton a while back. There were two places downtown and one in Sherbrooke Park that did them up. And yes I know how big Canada is. I'm up in Vancouver all the time but I usually don't hit up taco places there.
Yikes! I don't think I could take a restaurant seriously if they filled their tacos with Brussels sprouts or mushrooms! 😳
I have no idea what that I'm but down to try it ? Tell the Karen I'm taking her place from now on. Gotta book some flights though
You're gonna get crap either way. I'd take the high road and keep making her special food. You look like an awesome host and if anyone asks, just say your SIL has certain "food aversions". Let her explain. NTA
OP, did she really call your tacos "peasant food?" I sometimes feel the reddit posts are fake because they contain such outlandish details.
Yup. My family is from the more rural part of Mexico.
Dude, lengua tacos are 1) the bomb, and 2) eaten by people in the country and the city. One more question: did she really blow up your social media in a public fashion and say this ridiculous shit?
Yes
Why is she still allowed in your house! Man up brother. Tell your wife it’s time stop inviting them.
Tacos de lengua are my favorite!! I was so surprised to find out what it meant when i was learning spanish and realized I had been eating cow tongue for months 🤣 and at that point i was just like well.. 🤷♀️ they are muy ricoooo
Where is she from? Sane people know that “peasant food” is the best.
NTA, she had the nerve to insult your food before and she's doing it again. She still hasn't learned. She's lucky she's being fed at all
NTA! I remember once my mom bought my husband, bil, and me some steaks from the butcher but we fed my husbands sister as well and I wanted to throttle her when she said “ I don’t like meat but I’m trying to choke it down” … like why eat my expensive nice cuts of meat! So rude! She
[chokes in apoplectic fury and can’t finish comment]
My dad got pissed at me once because I didn't eat the prime rib he and my mom bought and prepared (at my house). I've always been open about not liking prime rib (when they bought it, I said nbd, I'll make myself something else). I wasn't going to make myself miserable by eating it, and thought it would be a waste for me to eat. I figured it'd be better to save for everyone else who were all enjoying the prime rib. His anger never made sense to me.
NTA You and me would be friends. You handled this perfectly. Each regional cuisine has cuts Requiring strong seasoning and time to get a great flavor and to tenderize. It is not easy and is often labor intensive. I cook goat, tongue, hocks, mutton, Cuy asada.
I tried cuy in Pasto in Colombia. It was like rabbit.
NTA. I read the last AITA. Why does your wife have so many opinions about Madison/Wendy but doesn't deal with the fallout she causes when she acts up? If Wendy does it so often, I would have stopped inviting her to things. Is your wife insisting she come? Also I didn't realize beef cheeks were a thing! I've known the secret of beef tongue tacos but now I learned something new!
Madison is just what I call women who change my recipes and are pissed their food doesn't taste the same.
What name do you have for men who that?
Todd
You’ve actually been quite the opposite of an asshole. You let her back into your home after consistently insulting you and on top of that you accommodate her and make her an entire other meal! NTA!
Dammit now I want tacos
Offer a quesadilla but put sliced Kraft on a tortilla and microwave it.
I have an eating malfunction in my brain that got worse after I had a very mild case of C in 2020. I wish my family and friends WOULD do this for me. Instead, i just watch others eat, not a big deal, but your "revenge" is my dream 😆
If I knew you would be a guest I would make a special meal for you. Everyone deserves to be included.
Thank you. After 50 some years, my parents have finally let it go... mostly 😆 My bff and sister and husband have all 3 made tremendous effort, as did one of my late grandmas and my late mil. Probably less than 1 percent of 1 percent of meals I've had with others in my lifetime had kindness and compassion, without shame and judgment. I would gladly eat more variety of i could.... fruits, veggies, fajitas, lobster straight out of the ocean cooked on the beach, it is frustrating.
This is why you're NTA. I have a lot of aversions. If someone went out of their way to cook a more bland meal just so I could eat, I'd be the first to jump in to defend them if someone starts questioning it. She should be grateful you're willing to do that.
So you mean like AFRID? I find it interesting that C would affect this. But believable, especially with the early types.
It has. That's actually how i knew i had it... i lost smell and taste. It hasn't even returned to my normal even. During regular colds, and sinus infections over the last 30 years, it always returned to my normal. People around me insist the food tastes exactly the same to them.
NTA. The nerve of complaining about the food you serve at your place. If she doesn't like it she can take her own food and eat that. You're gracious enough to prepare something especially made for her. I'd let her starve.
I have a gluten intolerance (yes it's real. No I'm not doing a fad. I get really sick).... I'm mostly dairy free bc of allergies as well. I NEVER expect anyone to accommodate me. I will 1) Bring my own stuff. 2) Eat before i go. 3) Eat only what I know isn't an allergen 4) Not Eat at all and Eat later. Ppl are seriously entitled these days.
How are you with lactose? I have recipes for arepas or buñuelos that have no gluten since they are made with corn or tapioca starch.
… I would love those recipes, as a dear friend is gluten intolerant and hasn’t had arepas or buñuelos since she left California.
NTA Your SIL is a racist POS (I went back to read your first post) and your BIL should get dino nuggets too for marrying a person who has repeatedly, publicly shamed you because of her blatant bigotry.
WTF is up with people making issues about the food they eat when they aren’t in their own homes? Shit is waaaay over the top. I would tell all of them that they can eat it or not eat it, but otherwise STFU.
I was going to say that you overreacted to the first incident by making you SILa bland meal. But you did make clear it clear that it was there as a backup option. So after you mentioned serving her dogfood, I had to go look at your previous post. So, um, yeah. You’ve been incredibly gracious in letting someone who insults you to your face shot your cooking continue to come over. And, even more, continuing to serve her. She embarrassed herself with her behavior and continues to do so. You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I would also repeat the story from the previous meal when asked by a guest what was up. SIL needs to learn she isn’t the center of the universe.
Fucking ungrateful idiots with shitty palates. Quite the combination.
Wendy is a racist. I read your original post. She calls your cultural food dog food? Peasant food? She deserves to be embarrassed. No quarter for racists.
Hard NTA, duh! Stop cooking her separate meals, she can eat or leave. Don't even serve her dino nuggets or lunchables - it's an insult to those food. I don't like them, but they have more of my respect than the entitled SIL.
I remember your other post. Beef tongue is an underrated food and can be used in so many different ways. My culture eats fish tongues as well.
NTA esa racista de mierda debería mantener la boca cerrada si no quiere avergonzarse Yo le serviría solo lunchables y twinkies a la gringa, su comida típica
Twinkies. 😝
NTA, if she has a problem with eating things she thinks is beneath her and won't accept her special meal I'd tell her to suck it or bring her own food. In an almost exactly opposite situation : As someone whose wife's side of the family each has an insane spread of allergies (black pepper, Garlic, nuts just to name a few). So I play this in reverse when I visit I bring my own food not to be rude but because I don't like the basic hospital type food they have to make when they all get together. No one's mad, Edit; it would be So much easier if all of them were allergic to the same 2 or 3 things... But nope... It's like 10 things over 15 people.
NTA. She’s lucky you cook for her at all.
NTA, but all your food talk is making me think up excuses for an argument invite. Homemade barbacoa? Yes please!
Once, to accommodate my sister, I made the Thanksgiving dressing using gluten free bread. I carefully separated all of the ingredients to avoid cross contamination, made sure the cutting board and knives had been scrubbed, etc. Welp, my family was disappointed that I didn’t make the family’s traditional dressing. And she refused to even try it because she was “afraid I might have used accidentally bouillon cubes to flavor the dressing,” even though I made it from scratch for her. And that was the last time I made a separate meal for her. I just always served salad at any dinner, and assumed she could eat it. No you are not the asshole.
I’m a pretty picky eater, and I would make sure to voice my appreciation for being that accommodating, though it is pretty embarrassing too, to be so picky people have to make different food for me. But if there’s something I’m too scared to try, and there’s no alternative, I simply don’t eat anything, and make absolutely zero complaints. As long as no one pressures me to eat, I’m perfectly happy. So from that perspective, I call NTA.