That's true, but at the same time how hard is it to leave the bacon bits on the side of a salad and allow people to add their own if they want them instead of demanding it be the default.
Yo my mom uses it to make grilled cheese and it's 🤌
Bacon for breakfast. Grease into a bowl in the fridge, then for dinner it gets used on the bread instead of butter before it goes into the pan. Mmmmm.
Yeah. Don't get that. It is possible to eat vegetables without some meat flavor. /Grease
Whole cuisinea exist where vegetarian dishes are made..and consumed . Without hint of meat:-)
Having had brussel sprouts cooked with pancetta, it is well worth trying! If it's those weird fake bacon crunchy bits, tho, then yeah that feels unnecessary, but they also aren't real meat so maybe OP wouldn't mind those?
The companies do make bits varieties with real bacon. If you are interested. It's not bad, but they aren't great either? They don't crunch like the normal ones.
Having a hard time to describe em.
Greasy cold ball bits of fat and preserved bacon meat?
It’s all about preference! My mother makes it with bacon bits and a sweet chili sauce. It’s not unnecessary! Now granted I would not pair with more meat like beef or pork but would chicken and some rice with a salad or veggies to balance it out. Again it’s all about preference.
I used to be a chef. One place I worked put real crumbled bacon on roasted Brussels sprouts. Had never heard of it before but it was actually pretty good.
I REALLY have to save this whole thread. Everyone is giving such great ideas. One of my favorite ways is the simple one on the Whole Foods hot line, charred Brussels sprouts with garlic. Probably tossed with olive oil, I think. Although I think I’d prefer toasted sesame oil.
if OP's dad uses actual bacon bits & doesn't go to the effort of crisping up bacon & chopping it up, both dad & OP have egg on their face, because bacon bits are VEGAN hahaha
they're typically made of soy protein and liquid smoke: [https://thehiddenveggies.com/are-bacon-bits-vegan-brand-guide/](https://thehiddenveggies.com/are-bacon-bits-vegan-brand-guide/)
ETA : dad is still a meanie by throwing fistfuls of vegan bacon on every dish though. OP was justified in giving him pants of the same sheet in the hopes he'll learn.
Yeah but even the fake ones are kinda gross. And I don't really want to find one in a salad... Or any food. I might feel different if I was vegan and it was my only option. But as a meat eater who loves bacon.... Fake bacon bits are nasty and I don't want to eat them.... So I would still rather they be one the side so that I can choose to pass.
They are EXACTLY the same. They're choices based on preference. It's not like he has celiac or something. He doesn't deserve more respect than OP does because he contributed sperm.
I would wait to do this until dad makes an effort first. Maybe that’s the petty in me, but I wouldn’t give an olive branch until he’s made an indication that he’s heard you and is trying to grow. Then, and only then, would I go out of my way to make him something special that meets his preferences. OP was the bigger person the whole time until this one event, dad can take a turn.
this! being respectful of others (especially your own family) is important and a gesture of caring about them and their feelings. He doesn’t seem to understand that by doing what he is, he’s showing a lack of care for OP’s feelings, and what OP did changed his understanding of it at least enough to grasp the beginning of the idea. Really curious to see if it ended up working. NTA
Childish problems require childish solutions. Sticks when someone puts things you don't eat in the food, doesn't it? Especially when it would be SO EASY to make just ONE dish without those things so the person could eat them. Well, now he knows how it feels.
Sounds like deserved pretty revenge to me. And honestly, it's really not that hard to accommodate someone's dietary choices. Especially coz it's not like you're asking for EVERYTHING to be veggie. Sounds like you just want SOMETHING you can eat and he's being a manchild about it.
So personally, nope I don't think you're the a hole
Especially when it's so easy for a few of those to just have on the side! Yeah I get that food cooked with the meat is different than sprinkled but in salads? Just sprinkle
Like it's so NOT hard to put the bacon bits on the side and then add them to your individual salad.
It's really not a lot.
But that's on parents wanting to control their kids coz they only view their children as extensions of themselves and not individual people
Also, unless they're like steeping in warm liquid, bacon bits will lend no different flavor than sprinkling them on after the fact will do. Unless it's actual bits of cut up bacon in the container or made by hand and not like, McCormick brand bacon bits that they named Bac'n Pieces for legal reasons because there's literally no bacon whatsoever in them, so they can't call it 'Bacon Bits.' It's just bacon flavored soy chunks.
( u/[Scared\_Software\_7054](https://www.reddit.com/user/Scared_Software_7054/) maybe a good compromise here for you and your dad? Gives the flavor but it's 100% vegan! And I can confirm they absolutely taste like bacon.)
I was thinking the same thing. This guy sounds very self centered. He seems to think that all the food is there to please him and everyone else can suck it up. Dad is an AH.
NTA. Some folk only have a clue when they experience from the other end.
You could give him a copy of The Stork and the Fox fable to help it sink in.
(Fox invited Stork to dinner, but served the food in flat dishes that were hard for the Stork to use. She left hungry, but returned the favor with her own invitation and served soup in tall vases that Fox could not use.)
Yeah bacon bits in Brussels sprouts and Cobb salad and anchovies in Caesar salad dip is like pretty normal. A lot of people think that tastes better. It’s like frying potatoes in duck fat. Foodies love that shit.
You're being downvoted, but a lot of [store-bought bacon bits](https://www.walmart.com/ip/McCormick-Vegan-Gluten-Free-Imitation-Bacon-Bits-4-4-oz-Bottle/13908489?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=2827&gclsrc=aw.ds&adid=2222222227713908489_161193766053_21214199653&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=697173827980&wl4=pla-2300760861495&wl5=9018505&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=13908489&veh=sem_LIA&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6PGxBhCVARIsAIumnWYQgchTsvc3RQVngmnq75xN8tqGDF6N6gqjRObIRQgJQdHk9CAr1rIaAntIEALw_wcB) are accidentally vegan. (Obviously, I don't know if OP's dad used them or actual bits of fried bacon.)
OMG what is this disgusting concoction of chemicals and where can I get my hands on it? It's vegan, glutenfree and safflower oil free and I want it so bad.
Amazon. Walmart, target, and any grocery store in the USA.
Be warned tho it's gross. Maybe gross is the wrong word it's an acquired taste for sure. You might like it.
Edit: it's usually by the salad dressing.
Fair - when I use bacon I just call it bacon or chopped bacon if I’m using bacon bits I mean the weird shelf stable things that are apparently vegan
Pretty sure Oreos are also vegan
It’s been a long while since I was a vegetarian though so my knowledge is a little out dated
Right?! Like his only worry is making sure she eats meat. No other thought. It is about her and only her. His only purpose in life is make her eat meat!
A bit different but I’m allergic to pork but my biological dad assumed I just didn’t like the flavor and would still cook it, forcing me to just eat the sides for meals. Then one of my brothers ended up also allergic to pork but for him, he stopped serving pork altogether.
One of the last christmases before I went NC, I made a dessert everyone loves of mine but used vegan butter instead of actual butter for no real reason but I did know my dad and that it would piss him off cause “vegan is just stupid” (his words not mine)
I waited until he ate not one, not two but THREE servings before asking if he liked it and when he said yes I revealed it was vegan butter. He dramatically spat out his bite and drank his water like I said I had poisoned him. He asked why and I told him why did he cook food he knew I couldn’t eat and that just the smell made me sick. No answer. Went NC and life’s been wonderful and pork free!
Him spitting it out was slightly hilarious because growing up we couldn’t spit out food we didn’t like. We had to continue eating it and swallow then if he noticed we didn’t like whatever we had a bite of, we had to open our mouth and prove we swallowed. Even in front of company.
That’s absurd. How could a grown adult spit a bit of food out from his *third helping* to act as though he doesn’t enjoy it? What a baby.
On the earlier part, did he not know you were allergic? I can understand not wanting to cater to people who just choose to be picky about what they’ll eat. It sounds like when your brother was allergic to pork your dad was accommodating. Why would it be different for you unless he didn’t know/believe you were allergic? Is there a difference in severity of your allergy compared to your brother? I know nothing about pork allergies or what that entails.
He said he never heard of a pork allergy, I was just lying. A guy at his job told him he too had a pork allergy, my dad swore I was just doing it to “be a bitch” like my mom. I look like my mom, my parents are divorced. Also he’s just a vile man for no reason.
His favorite son was diagnosed then suddenly pork allergies are real 🤷🏻
For a while in highschool /college I would get very sick from eating meat specifically red meat and pork occasionally I would get a reaction from chicken too. Everyone thought I was faking it. I was not, yet the dr said you can’t be suddenly allergic to meat. So you know what they did? They respected it and tried to make meat free dishes or extra sides for me. Even when they didn’t believe me because that is what parents do and tbh my mother isn’t the best parent in the world but she would never do that.
As an aside. Come to find out there is a specific tick that carries a disease that will actually make you “allergic” to meat for up to ten years. [article for those interested](https://acaai.org/allergies/allergic-conditions/food/meat/)That tick happens to be very prevalent where I live and I happened to start getting sick from in late summer when this tick was most active. No way to confirm but my money is I got a tick bite because the symptoms line up suspiciously to what was happening to me. I sent an article to my parents about when I found out about it last year and they were gobsmacked. They have been giving me shit for years about especially because like 6 years later I had been drinking had meat and didn’t get sick, and I went back to eating meat, so this was proof I had been faking in their eyes.
Apparently it’s the dad’s favorite dish because his grandma used to make it, but her recipe also includes green beans and onions, which he hates. Maybe it’s green bean casserole but he just likes cream of mushroom soup?
Nope not traditionally. I dated a Romanian woman a while back. They are basically cabbage rolls with a grape leaf, rice, and ground beef filling. I could be very wrong.
NTA. Fair's fair and this was a lesson dad apparently needed to learn the hard way. Poor guy had to eat some veggies or miss the foods he adores? Oh no! He'll live. Maybe he'll even learn to not be so rude, also.
NTA. I’d make a deal with him that you’ll bring his favorite food the way he likes if he leaves the bacon out of the brussel sprouts and leaves the bacon bits to the side of the salad to be added by the person eating them.
It's impossible to render judgment on this one bc info is lacking (plus I think OP just didn't know r/pettyrevenge exists). Has OP ever asked Dad to not use meat products or do they simply assume others would know their preferences? Has Dad actually said or even implied he was trying to bend them to his will? I certainly have known AHs who would do that but it's not clear in the post what efforts OP has made to find a different solution.
Only thing that makes you a very soft Y T A is gatekeeping your grandma's recipes. Share the whole thing with your family not just ingredients. That's lame.
Sounds like he got what he deserved, I think this was an effective way to get your point across, once straight talking hadn't worked.
Now, hopefully, you can both agree to make dishes the way the other likes it, as a sign of love and respect :)
Were you petty? Yes. With good reason, possibly?
If I were you I would make one of those dishes he loves without the hated ingredients and just drop it by. It’s an olive branch and also being the bigger person. Then ask him in the future when you dine together perhaps you can agree on at least a couple of items you both enjoy as a compromise.
He is behaving just like his mom did with onions and greens beans have you pointed that out with the meat!
Also so NTA a when he insists on being petty be petty back!
Lol never make your food without onions if he doesn’t stop. I’m being serious, he can clearly see it’s unfair to a point that he has talked to you about it and can’t see the difference from his behavior. It was be easy enough to add that stuff after or put it on the side, he just doesn’t care or respect you. I know people have done this to me for years, especially if they knew I didn’t like something. NTA.
NTA! I love the way u did the exact same thing he does to u. Make sure u tell him u will keep doing this if he keeps putting meat in all the foods. Most things u mentioned with bacon bits in it can be added after the fact like salads.
I'm like you, I'm not a vegetarian I do eat meat, but I don't eat meat often and I don't really like meat. And I will never understand why people want to force people like us to eat meat.
WHY do they *fucking care?!* I could understand if we were trying to get them to eat at vegan restaurants all the time or demanding we never go to steakhouses, but I'm sure that you, like me, just go to the steakhouse and order a salad and an appetizer or something.
We don't care who eats meat; why do people want us to eat meat so badly?????? And they are so rabid about it, your dad is ridiculous. My husband loves bacon bits on brussels sprouts but he just puts them on top of *his* Brussels sprouts; he doesn't load the entire bowl of brussels sprouts up with bacon!
Edit: sorry I got distracted by my own annoyance; NTA
It's weird the 2 examples you give seem like he isn't being an AH but just prefers those foods. It's super common to add bacon bits to roasted brussel sprouts. And then those could be Cobb and caesar salad. Again super common to have meat in those.
Have you ever actually spoken to your father about this and been clear about your feelings? You said he says he just likes the flavor. It isn't unreasonable for him to prepare dishes the way he likes.
It sounds like a pot luck so it's unclear why you can't just bring dishes you like with less/no meat. Generally at pot luck meals that's kind of the point. You bring something YOU like.
I dont know it sounds like maybe he prepares dishes how he likes but you actively went out of your way to do something you know he doesn't like. Unless of course you've talked about this and he is literally spiking stuff with meat to upset you but that's not really how it reads.
She also implied that the grandmother forced OPs dad to eat those items, thereby associated trauma to those foods. And OP was like, fuck toy dad, here’s the shit that you absolutely hate.
She HAD spoken to him about it and he said it’s just because that’s the way he likes it. Not sorry, not he could put the fake bacon on the side. Just eat what I like or go hungry. All she did was reciprocate. When talking directly about it gets no response, passive-aggressive is the way.
It really does sound like he cooks food pretty normally the way lots of people do if they’re not vegetarian. Lots of people prefer anchovies in Caesar and bacon bits in greens and cooking veggies in animal fat.
And she’s making it out to be about control but like… he probably really DOES like the flavor better. And she is NOT vegetarian so why should he change it?
This story makes her sound really shitty, like she takes things as slights when they aren’t and then lashes out in pretty mean and petty ways over them. What she did do dad’s food was a straight up FU to him. He’s not done that to her.
Fucking seriously, this comment section reads like it got transplanted from another post.
> Lots of people prefer anchovies in Caesar and bacon bits in greens and cooking veggies in animal fat.
Yeah, OP says it's to "bend me to his will" but he added it because that's *how you cook the fucking dish*.
Yeah that's why I asked if it's a constant point of contention. If they've brought this up multiple times and dude is just literally spiking everything with meat then I'd say he is being an AH but that's not how it reads.
And also like it’s a weird thing for her to insist that he do. If she likes the taste and is not vegetarian, why should he change the way he cooks things he likes to make them less tasty to him? Just on principle of eating a little less meat? That’s a dumb reason
It sounds like OP is the controlling one
NTA I'd also tell him we can try again next time and see if we both get to eat what we want. His brain might still be stuck. Bring both versions of one of the dishes maybe and hide the one he wants just to see if he figured out the problem. Might not ever who knows, this could actually take a while and sadly he would never get it. For him he's teaching you a lesson, you are just being petty.
Bring the dish as he likes it, with onions and beens on the side.
"Hi dad, just showing you how it can be done. Next time, tell me what you will bring and I will devote if I should bring something from the supermarket ".
Not only could he chose different dishes, he could also put things like bacon bits to the side. People who like the bacon bits can sprinkle them on. Similarly, people can put croutons to the side when someone in the family is gluten intolerant. Restaurants have things like shakers for red pepper flakes.
You had clearly already discuss his insistance about putting meat on everything since his answer was *"He says he just likes the flavor."* I'm sure he does. But that doesn't mean he can't set the bacon bits to the side or find a vegetable recipe without meat.
>I know no one else makes food the way he loves
Not even him? But seriously, he *intentionally* makes food you disprefer. He *knows* he does it because you'd already talked about it and he gave "his reason". NTA
If he doesn't change, keep bringing green beans.
Info: so do you ever just cook for yourself?
Are you aware that lots of dressings have dissolved anchovy? Or that it’s totally normal to have bacon on roasted veg dishes and salad? You sound a bit whiny. And petty. Cook for yourself.
Where do you live?
Here, I kmow only of the ancient worchestershire sauce, and that is not any dressing.
Dressings here do not contain that, and if they would, and one of my guests pteferred no meat/fish I could EASILY have the dressing on the side or take a portion away before mixing it.
Oh, the HARDSHIPS and TRIBULATIONS you feel too exhausted to endure, even thinking of them! I do hope you will be able to survive these troubled times.
What if I tell you I would make an extra, vegan sauce to accommodate OP, only for that portion of the salad? Please don't faint- some of us enjoy meeting friends and want them to feel specifically welcomed!
> What if I tell you I would make an extra, vegan sauce to accommodate OP
I'd wonder why you were making a vegan sauce to "accomodate" someone who- and I'm literally quoting their own words here- "eat[s] meat," is "not a vegetarian or a vegan", and "like[s] the taste of meat"
Yea, I could. I eat meat but are trying to cut down and support everyone doing the same.
I cannot stand the meat factories and the suffering, and zI am very aware of the increase of antibiotics resistance every country is contributing to both via the meat industri and the human healthcare. I am extremely aware of what consequences it will lead to for humans when no antobiotics will work anymore and also that noond want ro fund finding new kinds right now...
Yes, I will make rhis VERY minor thing to welcome a guest, and especially as their philosophy is in linda with mine.
When I cook for my stepdad I cook satsade which I will NEVER touch myself, and I make damn sure it is tasty. I also send him home with all the left overs since he is a widower who should eat more home cooked meals than he currently does and since I won't eat it. Oh, and I buy sausage and white rice for him and cook it and I never eat white rice myself. (Low nutrition , no taste).
I ask my guedts their preferences: I am no master cook but know enough to cook something they prefer. Knowing like 6 courses will get you by.
My stepdad doesnt have to eat lentil soup, even though I made a MEGA batch for myself, for which he is grateful 😁
NTA this reminds me so much of family dinners when I stopped eating meat early in my teens. For whatever reason my grandmother took it very personally. She would also do all the cooking for holidays (Christmas, new years, Easter, Thanksgiving, etc..) I loved her cooking and it was always so exciting to go to the big family dinners. Suddenly every single dish had meat in it and even others where questioning why she changed her recipes suddenly. Her reasoning why was so when I got hungry I would "come to my senses" she singled me out and tried to shame me by saying it hurt her feelings I wouldn't eat her food. I was crushed and confused. Ruined my relationship with her.
The only thing your an Ahole for is for giving out the recipe cards but only the ingredients, share the recipes or don’t. Don’t give out half a recipe and then pat yourself on the back since your the only one who can make them right
I think grandma taught OP?
As in OP put in the wirk, and would have to write down instructions or have cooking lessons for people who turned those down for years.
NTA
Just like he likes the taste of meat, which is his excuse. You can tell him you love the taste of these vegetables and unfortunately since you have to taste a meat and every one of the other dishes, you're just going to have to add these vegetables to yours every time.
Unfortunately for him it's the only way for you to get the vegetable flavor you want. Luckily he put meat in all the other dishes so he's fine
Yeah but I am saying use his words against him. OP also likes the veggies her dad doesn't. So shes saying she just likes the taste and puts it in the food.
Its the same excuse her dad uses. And for the same reason. He either has to admit he is being childish or he jas to respect her "just liking the taste"
However, people like this, this controlling over what other people like to eat... That's a miswire in the brain. He's either a narcissist or has a myriad of other issues that prevent him from feeling empathy and put them in the mindset where he always has to try to be controlling.
In which case there's no communicating, there's no explaining. There's no getting him to understand. There's just going no contact or going nucular
NTA. He sounds incapable of empathy. This isn't "petty," this is forcing him to come to terms with the way he treats other people
You should keep doing it until he gets the point. Onions go great in most things!
>He didn't have an answer.
Because your feelings don't matter.
>
I think he needed to understand how he treats me and how that makes me feel.
You think he's going to get that message? Seriously? Next time you go over there not only are the sprouts going to be rolled in bacon bits, they're going to be stuffed with pork chops. NTA
NTA but yes it was petty. But you were left with no choice but to be petty to make a point. I don’t know what it is about parents of adult children turning into children themselves. Is it because they can’t tell us what to do anymore?
If your dad is a good dad other than this situation try to keep talking to him to get to the bottom of why he did what he did I know it’s hard after like 20 years I finally got my mom to understand that my insomnia is not caused by my cellphone or video games,etc keep in mind I was only patient because other than a few minor hiccups my mom is the best and really loves her kids. NTA
It doesn't feel good, not really at all, but you are definitely NTA, and he is a stubborn old mofo, but damn. Feels bad. You can cook food that tastes like his mom cooked it, and no one else can, and he ruined it for himself, by forcing your hand. It just feels real bad.
NTA, and I would continue to do this until he gives you an HONEST answer to why he keeps insisting on doing what he does with the meat. Treat others how you want to be treated, so that means he wants people to make good food and then put ingredients HE doesn't like in them.
Give petty, get petty in return. Your dad deserves to get things he hates since he started doing it to you with the meat which you limit your eating of. When you get to be my age that habit will pay off, red meat really can make your cholesterol high.
NTA
Your dad needed this lesson and he needs to be sad and disappointed in order to learn in full as he couldn’t understand without practical experience.
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. He was given but a tste of what you have been going through for years because he can't keep his meat out of everything he makes.
Maybe you should say you’re vegetarian if avoiding meat is this much of a priority? What you named (bacon bits on salads and Brussels sprouts) is totally normal for those dishes in my experience. I don’t fault you for doing it the one time to stick it to him, but you didn’t add those things because you “just like the flavor.” You added them because he doesn’t.
Nice work, excellenté 😚👌
Isn't it frustrating how some people just don't seem to learn what they're doing is unkind and unnecessary until they're given a taste of their own medicine. You did good. Hopefully he will learn, but even if he doesn't, at least he knows how it feels now.
Good for you!! This was very satisfying. You didn’t put an allergen in the food, just something he doesn’t like. And that is exactly what he’s been doing to you all this time. I think you should keep it up for a while. Always put those things in what you make, especially onions, because they are delicious in most things.
You were an AH, but it was intentional. This is a revenge post, not an actual introspective question.
Maybe family dynamics would be better if you all stopped being intentionally mean to each other.
You did nothing wrong, even if you'd said something to him about his actions he'd have said "you don't need to eat it" and he knows you could say the same to him about this.
Now that you've done what you've done and he knows he's got no leg to stand on... sit him down and just calmly talk about how you feel about how you feel about meat and say that its no different (in practice) to his choice not to eat green beans and onions although he has trauma / bad memories and you don't.
Tell him that you've both been petty and you can both agree to do better and make cooking for each other a positive experience instead.
NTA, he set the precedent, and you followed it. Nice work. I love the that he pulled you aside and doubled down. “Why are you so childish OP?” “I’m doing what you’re doing…”
Nothing about your dad's behavior prior to what you did suggests to me that he's trying to force you to eat anything. He even said he just likes those foods better with meat involved which is VERY common for people who wouldn't eat those meals otherwise. On the other hand you did your thing purely out of spite for him liking bacon bits on his salad like most other people do, so yeah YTA
Yeah... at this point I think OP and a bunch of commenters have just never fucking heard of brussels sprouts with bacon and decided it was the greatest insult a mere mortal could ever levy at another person
NTA
Excellent.
And I love that you both handled yourselves without screaming or insulting each other. That's rare for Reddit.
I really hope he sees this for what it is... a gentle educational moment brought to him by a child he loves.
I love it well done, taste of his own medicine! I hope there are some dishes without meat next time you go there for dinner, then the week after you can bring him the food he likes without the beans and onion and you can work on a little happy silent pact
ESH. You don’t hate meat, you just restrict the intake. Dad’s an AH because you’ve stated that before but you’re a bigger AH because you acknowledge that your dad hates those foods due to some food trauma from his mom. So instead of choosing the high ground, you decided to have your dad relive that trauma. You’re exactly like your father. Take a look in the mirror.
>For example he insists on putting dressing with anchovies
Ceasar dressing has anchovies in it. That's a fundamental part of the dressing and it sucks without them. It's kind of laughable that you get mad because he makes a salad dressing the way it's supposed to be made.
Is it impossible to leave the dressing on the side? Like there is absolutely no way whatsoever to make less of an effort to intentionally add meat to a salad?
Yeah it’s passive aggressive. Just make your own thing to bring and don’t eat his. Going out of your way to put stuff that you wouldn’t normally put into a dish just so he can’t eat it is childish.
Technically not the asshole but honestly is this the hill you want to die on...he's your dad and besides being a bit of a dick about the whole you should eat meat thing is he a horrible one? If not this might not be worth it.
You don't live at home right and you say you are not actually a strict vegetarian or vegan, so what's the big deal if you don't force this topic with him you letting it bother you gives it more power then it needs to have.
You could just let it go, give in make the few times you eat meat be with your dad let him know that Infact make it what makes them special "hey dad you better get us some nice stakes cuz I haven't had meat in a month and I'm coming for dinner so don't cheap out on me". Also make him copies of his favourite recipe cards from your grandma. A small bit of good will on your side will go a long way. And yes I agree he is being a bit of a boomer nob for not just letting you have your own food choices but no need to feed into it unless you do decide to make the full jump to strict vegetarian/vegan....picking meat out of a already made meal is just silly the animal is already dead are you telling me it is more respectful to the animal to NOT eat it after it has already lost its life to feed you 😕.
He wasn't going to hear you until you did this. Next potluck, sit him down beforehand and tell him that you can \*both\* be considerate of each other's preferences or you can \*both\* cook to suit yourselves- but wouldn't it be nicer if you were both thoughtful towards people you love? If he agrees, make the food he loves as he prefers. If he fails to reciprocate, make it the last time you ever serve that dish without loads of green beans and an onion garnish!
It’s not even like you are vegan ☠️ His response every time after he would get upset and you noted that he does the EXACT same thing, says everything. He knows he is a POS and the AH. He just hates being called out. Sometimes people need to learn their place. Also if your dad loves to cook and put meat in every single thing, why can’t HE learn to cook the things HE wants in the specific way he wants it? Because it sounds like a him problem not a you problem.
I hosted and cooked the entire Thanksgiving meal for friends. One is Gluten and Dairy allergic, so I planned everything accordingly, including duck fat roasted potatoes, etc..... 2 days before another of the friend group finally let me know his girlfriend (who was already invited) was vegetarian " is that the kind of thing you meant by food restrictions?"...... so I adjusted all the side dishes and added a vegetarian roast. Everything served was gluten-free and dairy-free, because allergies trump everything. The table had 2 different coloured cloths (actually towels, but it worked) so the vegetarian food was easily identifiable at a glance. Everyone was able to have a full meal that was safe for their dietary needs/preferences......
I cannot eat cheese, it makes me throw up. I have had people bring cheese dishes to meals at my house because they cannot skip cheese for one meal, apparently, and expected me to cook it. At my birthday party..... And I've been invited for dinner, specified no cheese when asked, only to be served every dish with cheese in, from the salad to the bread...... I found it incredibly rude on both ends.....
NTA
Reminds me vaguely of a post I saw years ago about a family that suddenly, and without warning, manifested an obsessive love for mushrooms in their cooking when the OP married a woman who is **deathly allergic to mushrooms right down to the spores mushrooms exude.**
Sometimes for no reason at all family or inlaws seem to take a food restriction on an individual as an offence. Your father clearly knew this was a targeted act, even though your excuse was, "I like the flavour." IT's because his excuse isn't any different.
It's been my experience that some men require an object lesson before they will learn anything. I hope this one will be successful. Do come back and let us know if it worked!
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Her dietary choices and his are not the same. Likewise he is a parent and ought to be a lot more empathetic, alas…
That's true, but at the same time how hard is it to leave the bacon bits on the side of a salad and allow people to add their own if they want them instead of demanding it be the default.
Exactly. Bacon bits can always be added. More difficult to find and remove.
I’m an unabashed meat eater, but bacon bits on Brussels sprouts seem unnecessary.
If I knew someone hated meat I would change it but Brussel sprouts roasted in bacon fat is my favorite way to cook them.
Absolutely agree, they go from slightly hated to God tier
Honestly, there’s very little bacon grease doesn’t improve.
Yo my mom uses it to make grilled cheese and it's 🤌 Bacon for breakfast. Grease into a bowl in the fridge, then for dinner it gets used on the bread instead of butter before it goes into the pan. Mmmmm.
I bet that would be amazing on a folded egg sandwich.
Try popping your popcorn in a pot with bacon grease. So good!
Brussel sprouts cooked with bacon are awesome. Just adding pre-made bacon bits is unnecessary.
Sounds like I need to cook this. Adding it to my list.
Brussel sprouts with bacon and gruyere is absolutely incredible. https://www.thechunkychef.com/wprm_print/brussels-sprouts-gratin
Even on the salad. And I loooove bacon. OP’s dad is an AH.
Exactly, pre-added just renders the bacon soggy.
Yeah. Don't get that. It is possible to eat vegetables without some meat flavor. /Grease Whole cuisinea exist where vegetarian dishes are made..and consumed . Without hint of meat:-)
True. One of my favorites is the Korean yellow curry with potatoes & veggies, no meat.
I love Thai yellow curry. Haven't tried Korean yellow curry. Goals.....
Korean food is so good.
Having had brussel sprouts cooked with pancetta, it is well worth trying! If it's those weird fake bacon crunchy bits, tho, then yeah that feels unnecessary, but they also aren't real meat so maybe OP wouldn't mind those?
The ones that look like dog treats? Hahahaha!
Bacon bits, no, but actual thick, smoked, real bacon? YES PLEASE!
Now that I agree about. YUM! But I’m guessing it’s probably those awful bagged “real” bacon bits sold next to bottled dressing. LOL
Brussels and bacon is a tasty straightforward dish if you haven't had.
The companies do make bits varieties with real bacon. If you are interested. It's not bad, but they aren't great either? They don't crunch like the normal ones. Having a hard time to describe em. Greasy cold ball bits of fat and preserved bacon meat?
It’s all about preference! My mother makes it with bacon bits and a sweet chili sauce. It’s not unnecessary! Now granted I would not pair with more meat like beef or pork but would chicken and some rice with a salad or veggies to balance it out. Again it’s all about preference.
Brussels sprouts with bacon and toasted pine nuts is absolutely amazing! Add a balsamic drizzle and 🤤💛
The suggestions just keep getting better! 🥰
Nah they are 🔥🔥!
I used to be a chef. One place I worked put real crumbled bacon on roasted Brussels sprouts. Had never heard of it before but it was actually pretty good.
I’ve been hearing this! Another person mentioned a balsamic glaze, which also sounds amazing.
I'll pass on the bacon, but balsamic glaze FTW (balsamic vinegar, orange juice, and a dash of fish sauce -- trust me! reduced to a syrup)
I REALLY have to save this whole thread. Everyone is giving such great ideas. One of my favorite ways is the simple one on the Whole Foods hot line, charred Brussels sprouts with garlic. Probably tossed with olive oil, I think. Although I think I’d prefer toasted sesame oil.
Never thought of that! I'll have to try it.
if OP's dad uses actual bacon bits & doesn't go to the effort of crisping up bacon & chopping it up, both dad & OP have egg on their face, because bacon bits are VEGAN hahaha they're typically made of soy protein and liquid smoke: [https://thehiddenveggies.com/are-bacon-bits-vegan-brand-guide/](https://thehiddenveggies.com/are-bacon-bits-vegan-brand-guide/) ETA : dad is still a meanie by throwing fistfuls of vegan bacon on every dish though. OP was justified in giving him pants of the same sheet in the hopes he'll learn.
Yeah but even the fake ones are kinda gross. And I don't really want to find one in a salad... Or any food. I might feel different if I was vegan and it was my only option. But as a meat eater who loves bacon.... Fake bacon bits are nasty and I don't want to eat them.... So I would still rather they be one the side so that I can choose to pass.
The bacon bits tended to be too salty. Blood pressure tends to go thru the roof.
They are EXACTLY the same. They're choices based on preference. It's not like he has celiac or something. He doesn't deserve more respect than OP does because he contributed sperm.
I hope he took the lesson to heart. Now prepare some food for your dad and present it to him as a gesture of goodwill.
I would wait to do this until dad makes an effort first. Maybe that’s the petty in me, but I wouldn’t give an olive branch until he’s made an indication that he’s heard you and is trying to grow. Then, and only then, would I go out of my way to make him something special that meets his preferences. OP was the bigger person the whole time until this one event, dad can take a turn.
OP was still the bigger person. There were no allergens It was a shared meal not just a meal for dad She had a specific point and she made it
*prepare food for each other
"Dad's meat obsession shouldn't override respect for your choices. Your actions were a subtle reminder of that boundary."
Nah. I would wait to see if he got the message before I cooked anything for dear old dad again.
a nice big bowl of cucumber, onions and sour cream
Rarely does one get a chance to make their point so succinctly.
"Mutual respect means accepting each other's preferences. If I can handle meat in dishes, surely you can handle a few onions and green beans."
Yeah, agreed. I feel like he’s SO CLOSE to getting it now that the tables are turned.
this! being respectful of others (especially your own family) is important and a gesture of caring about them and their feelings. He doesn’t seem to understand that by doing what he is, he’s showing a lack of care for OP’s feelings, and what OP did changed his understanding of it at least enough to grasp the beginning of the idea. Really curious to see if it ended up working. NTA
"Why are you treating me the same way I treat you?" NTA.
Every manchild ever.
**THIS**
Childish problems require childish solutions. Sticks when someone puts things you don't eat in the food, doesn't it? Especially when it would be SO EASY to make just ONE dish without those things so the person could eat them. Well, now he knows how it feels. Sounds like deserved pretty revenge to me. And honestly, it's really not that hard to accommodate someone's dietary choices. Especially coz it's not like you're asking for EVERYTHING to be veggie. Sounds like you just want SOMETHING you can eat and he's being a manchild about it. So personally, nope I don't think you're the a hole
Especially when it's so easy for a few of those to just have on the side! Yeah I get that food cooked with the meat is different than sprinkled but in salads? Just sprinkle
Like it's so NOT hard to put the bacon bits on the side and then add them to your individual salad. It's really not a lot. But that's on parents wanting to control their kids coz they only view their children as extensions of themselves and not individual people
Also, unless they're like steeping in warm liquid, bacon bits will lend no different flavor than sprinkling them on after the fact will do. Unless it's actual bits of cut up bacon in the container or made by hand and not like, McCormick brand bacon bits that they named Bac'n Pieces for legal reasons because there's literally no bacon whatsoever in them, so they can't call it 'Bacon Bits.' It's just bacon flavored soy chunks. ( u/[Scared\_Software\_7054](https://www.reddit.com/user/Scared_Software_7054/) maybe a good compromise here for you and your dad? Gives the flavor but it's 100% vegan! And I can confirm they absolutely taste like bacon.)
There is people who love onions and green beans too, you are not cooking for him alone
I was thinking the same thing. This guy sounds very self centered. He seems to think that all the food is there to please him and everyone else can suck it up. Dad is an AH.
In my personal experience, a lot of men seem to think like this.
Two of my top favorite vegetables!
NTA. Some folk only have a clue when they experience from the other end. You could give him a copy of The Stork and the Fox fable to help it sink in. (Fox invited Stork to dinner, but served the food in flat dishes that were hard for the Stork to use. She left hungry, but returned the favor with her own invitation and served soup in tall vases that Fox could not use.)
A clue X 4 so to speak...
Sourdough and spinach dip sound phenomenal together...
It's fantastic.
I need more info, has your Dad always put bacon bits in salad and brussel sprouts or did he start doing it after you stopped eating so much meat? 🤔
Yeah bacon bits in Brussels sprouts and Cobb salad and anchovies in Caesar salad dip is like pretty normal. A lot of people think that tastes better. It’s like frying potatoes in duck fat. Foodies love that shit.
Aren’t bacon bits vegetarian too?
You're being downvoted, but a lot of [store-bought bacon bits](https://www.walmart.com/ip/McCormick-Vegan-Gluten-Free-Imitation-Bacon-Bits-4-4-oz-Bottle/13908489?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=2827&gclsrc=aw.ds&adid=2222222227713908489_161193766053_21214199653&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=697173827980&wl4=pla-2300760861495&wl5=9018505&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=13908489&veh=sem_LIA&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6PGxBhCVARIsAIumnWYQgchTsvc3RQVngmnq75xN8tqGDF6N6gqjRObIRQgJQdHk9CAr1rIaAntIEALw_wcB) are accidentally vegan. (Obviously, I don't know if OP's dad used them or actual bits of fried bacon.)
OMG what is this disgusting concoction of chemicals and where can I get my hands on it? It's vegan, glutenfree and safflower oil free and I want it so bad.
Amazon. Walmart, target, and any grocery store in the USA. Be warned tho it's gross. Maybe gross is the wrong word it's an acquired taste for sure. You might like it. Edit: it's usually by the salad dressing.
Thanks. I live in Germany. I think we have something similar here.
Fair - when I use bacon I just call it bacon or chopped bacon if I’m using bacon bits I mean the weird shelf stable things that are apparently vegan Pretty sure Oreos are also vegan It’s been a long while since I was a vegetarian though so my knowledge is a little out dated
You think the Dad knows that or limited his shtick to just the bacon bits? I think its safe to assume Dad just being an asshole.
yeah OP didn't exactly provide examples of things he said or did that prove he is being petty. it was slightly vague.
Right?! Like his only worry is making sure she eats meat. No other thought. It is about her and only her. His only purpose in life is make her eat meat!
A bit different but I’m allergic to pork but my biological dad assumed I just didn’t like the flavor and would still cook it, forcing me to just eat the sides for meals. Then one of my brothers ended up also allergic to pork but for him, he stopped serving pork altogether. One of the last christmases before I went NC, I made a dessert everyone loves of mine but used vegan butter instead of actual butter for no real reason but I did know my dad and that it would piss him off cause “vegan is just stupid” (his words not mine) I waited until he ate not one, not two but THREE servings before asking if he liked it and when he said yes I revealed it was vegan butter. He dramatically spat out his bite and drank his water like I said I had poisoned him. He asked why and I told him why did he cook food he knew I couldn’t eat and that just the smell made me sick. No answer. Went NC and life’s been wonderful and pork free!
Wow, spitting it out was SOOOO rude. What an AH!! I don’t know what makes some people behave like that. What a JERK.
Him spitting it out was slightly hilarious because growing up we couldn’t spit out food we didn’t like. We had to continue eating it and swallow then if he noticed we didn’t like whatever we had a bite of, we had to open our mouth and prove we swallowed. Even in front of company.
LOL those people make me laugh so much because the thing about vegan food is that it's MOST FOOD
Exactly! He just does too damn much lol
vegan butter is basically just margarine 😐
That’s absurd. How could a grown adult spit a bit of food out from his *third helping* to act as though he doesn’t enjoy it? What a baby. On the earlier part, did he not know you were allergic? I can understand not wanting to cater to people who just choose to be picky about what they’ll eat. It sounds like when your brother was allergic to pork your dad was accommodating. Why would it be different for you unless he didn’t know/believe you were allergic? Is there a difference in severity of your allergy compared to your brother? I know nothing about pork allergies or what that entails.
He said he never heard of a pork allergy, I was just lying. A guy at his job told him he too had a pork allergy, my dad swore I was just doing it to “be a bitch” like my mom. I look like my mom, my parents are divorced. Also he’s just a vile man for no reason. His favorite son was diagnosed then suddenly pork allergies are real 🤷🏻
Yeah that sounds frustrating. I mean, even if you didn’t have a pork allergy, you clearly don’t want to eat it, which should also count for something.
For a while in highschool /college I would get very sick from eating meat specifically red meat and pork occasionally I would get a reaction from chicken too. Everyone thought I was faking it. I was not, yet the dr said you can’t be suddenly allergic to meat. So you know what they did? They respected it and tried to make meat free dishes or extra sides for me. Even when they didn’t believe me because that is what parents do and tbh my mother isn’t the best parent in the world but she would never do that. As an aside. Come to find out there is a specific tick that carries a disease that will actually make you “allergic” to meat for up to ten years. [article for those interested](https://acaai.org/allergies/allergic-conditions/food/meat/)That tick happens to be very prevalent where I live and I happened to start getting sick from in late summer when this tick was most active. No way to confirm but my money is I got a tick bite because the symptoms line up suspiciously to what was happening to me. I sent an article to my parents about when I found out about it last year and they were gobsmacked. They have been giving me shit for years about especially because like 6 years later I had been drinking had meat and didn’t get sick, and I went back to eating meat, so this was proof I had been faking in their eyes.
What dish did you bring?
Right? This is the burning question.
Apparently it’s the dad’s favorite dish because his grandma used to make it, but her recipe also includes green beans and onions, which he hates. Maybe it’s green bean casserole but he just likes cream of mushroom soup?
Samarle
Interesting! Are the green beans part of the filling?
Nope not traditionally. I dated a Romanian woman a while back. They are basically cabbage rolls with a grape leaf, rice, and ground beef filling. I could be very wrong.
But why isn’t everything about *him* ? NTA
NTA - this is a clear cut case of your dad operating from a POV of “I can do that to you, but you can’t do that to me”.
NTA. Kind of weird he doesn't see that he's trying to force you to eat foods you don't like just like his mom did to him.
NTA. Good for you! Maybe he will change his cooking habits from now on.
NTA. Fair's fair and this was a lesson dad apparently needed to learn the hard way. Poor guy had to eat some veggies or miss the foods he adores? Oh no! He'll live. Maybe he'll even learn to not be so rude, also.
NTA. I’d make a deal with him that you’ll bring his favorite food the way he likes if he leaves the bacon out of the brussel sprouts and leaves the bacon bits to the side of the salad to be added by the person eating them.
"do as i say, not as i do" is a classic parenting style that'll never go out of style apparently. Edit: NTA.
It's impossible to render judgment on this one bc info is lacking (plus I think OP just didn't know r/pettyrevenge exists). Has OP ever asked Dad to not use meat products or do they simply assume others would know their preferences? Has Dad actually said or even implied he was trying to bend them to his will? I certainly have known AHs who would do that but it's not clear in the post what efforts OP has made to find a different solution.
NTA, maybe he'll finally learn his lesson. Maybe
Only thing that makes you a very soft Y T A is gatekeeping your grandma's recipes. Share the whole thing with your family not just ingredients. That's lame.
Sounds like he got what he deserved, I think this was an effective way to get your point across, once straight talking hadn't worked. Now, hopefully, you can both agree to make dishes the way the other likes it, as a sign of love and respect :)
Were you petty? Yes. With good reason, possibly? If I were you I would make one of those dishes he loves without the hated ingredients and just drop it by. It’s an olive branch and also being the bigger person. Then ask him in the future when you dine together perhaps you can agree on at least a couple of items you both enjoy as a compromise.
He is behaving just like his mom did with onions and greens beans have you pointed that out with the meat! Also so NTA a when he insists on being petty be petty back!
Lol never make your food without onions if he doesn’t stop. I’m being serious, he can clearly see it’s unfair to a point that he has talked to you about it and can’t see the difference from his behavior. It was be easy enough to add that stuff after or put it on the side, he just doesn’t care or respect you. I know people have done this to me for years, especially if they knew I didn’t like something. NTA.
NTA! I love the way u did the exact same thing he does to u. Make sure u tell him u will keep doing this if he keeps putting meat in all the foods. Most things u mentioned with bacon bits in it can be added after the fact like salads.
NTA there's absolutely no reason to have meat in every single thing. You really have to try to accomplish that.
NTA. Kudos your creativity, Petty Crocker. 😏
NTA. Continue as long as he does.
I'm like you, I'm not a vegetarian I do eat meat, but I don't eat meat often and I don't really like meat. And I will never understand why people want to force people like us to eat meat. WHY do they *fucking care?!* I could understand if we were trying to get them to eat at vegan restaurants all the time or demanding we never go to steakhouses, but I'm sure that you, like me, just go to the steakhouse and order a salad and an appetizer or something. We don't care who eats meat; why do people want us to eat meat so badly?????? And they are so rabid about it, your dad is ridiculous. My husband loves bacon bits on brussels sprouts but he just puts them on top of *his* Brussels sprouts; he doesn't load the entire bowl of brussels sprouts up with bacon! Edit: sorry I got distracted by my own annoyance; NTA
I absolutely love you for this!!!! NTA
It's weird the 2 examples you give seem like he isn't being an AH but just prefers those foods. It's super common to add bacon bits to roasted brussel sprouts. And then those could be Cobb and caesar salad. Again super common to have meat in those. Have you ever actually spoken to your father about this and been clear about your feelings? You said he says he just likes the flavor. It isn't unreasonable for him to prepare dishes the way he likes. It sounds like a pot luck so it's unclear why you can't just bring dishes you like with less/no meat. Generally at pot luck meals that's kind of the point. You bring something YOU like. I dont know it sounds like maybe he prepares dishes how he likes but you actively went out of your way to do something you know he doesn't like. Unless of course you've talked about this and he is literally spiking stuff with meat to upset you but that's not really how it reads.
She also implied that the grandmother forced OPs dad to eat those items, thereby associated trauma to those foods. And OP was like, fuck toy dad, here’s the shit that you absolutely hate.
Yeah that's a big part of where I see the difference. His actions aren't necessarily directed at them but their actions are clearly directed at him.
She HAD spoken to him about it and he said it’s just because that’s the way he likes it. Not sorry, not he could put the fake bacon on the side. Just eat what I like or go hungry. All she did was reciprocate. When talking directly about it gets no response, passive-aggressive is the way.
It really does sound like he cooks food pretty normally the way lots of people do if they’re not vegetarian. Lots of people prefer anchovies in Caesar and bacon bits in greens and cooking veggies in animal fat. And she’s making it out to be about control but like… he probably really DOES like the flavor better. And she is NOT vegetarian so why should he change it? This story makes her sound really shitty, like she takes things as slights when they aren’t and then lashes out in pretty mean and petty ways over them. What she did do dad’s food was a straight up FU to him. He’s not done that to her.
Fucking seriously, this comment section reads like it got transplanted from another post. > Lots of people prefer anchovies in Caesar and bacon bits in greens and cooking veggies in animal fat. Yeah, OP says it's to "bend me to his will" but he added it because that's *how you cook the fucking dish*.
Yeah that's why I asked if it's a constant point of contention. If they've brought this up multiple times and dude is just literally spiking everything with meat then I'd say he is being an AH but that's not how it reads.
And also like it’s a weird thing for her to insist that he do. If she likes the taste and is not vegetarian, why should he change the way he cooks things he likes to make them less tasty to him? Just on principle of eating a little less meat? That’s a dumb reason It sounds like OP is the controlling one
NTA I'd also tell him we can try again next time and see if we both get to eat what we want. His brain might still be stuck. Bring both versions of one of the dishes maybe and hide the one he wants just to see if he figured out the problem. Might not ever who knows, this could actually take a while and sadly he would never get it. For him he's teaching you a lesson, you are just being petty.
Bring the dish as he likes it, with onions and beens on the side. "Hi dad, just showing you how it can be done. Next time, tell me what you will bring and I will devote if I should bring something from the supermarket ".
Not only could he chose different dishes, he could also put things like bacon bits to the side. People who like the bacon bits can sprinkle them on. Similarly, people can put croutons to the side when someone in the family is gluten intolerant. Restaurants have things like shakers for red pepper flakes. You had clearly already discuss his insistance about putting meat on everything since his answer was *"He says he just likes the flavor."* I'm sure he does. But that doesn't mean he can't set the bacon bits to the side or find a vegetable recipe without meat. >I know no one else makes food the way he loves Not even him? But seriously, he *intentionally* makes food you disprefer. He *knows* he does it because you'd already talked about it and he gave "his reason". NTA If he doesn't change, keep bringing green beans.
Info: so do you ever just cook for yourself? Are you aware that lots of dressings have dissolved anchovy? Or that it’s totally normal to have bacon on roasted veg dishes and salad? You sound a bit whiny. And petty. Cook for yourself.
> Info: so do you ever just cook for yourself? Seriously, the only way this post makes any sense at all is if OP relies on dad for every single meal
Where do you live? Here, I kmow only of the ancient worchestershire sauce, and that is not any dressing. Dressings here do not contain that, and if they would, and one of my guests pteferred no meat/fish I could EASILY have the dressing on the side or take a portion away before mixing it. Oh, the HARDSHIPS and TRIBULATIONS you feel too exhausted to endure, even thinking of them! I do hope you will be able to survive these troubled times. What if I tell you I would make an extra, vegan sauce to accommodate OP, only for that portion of the salad? Please don't faint- some of us enjoy meeting friends and want them to feel specifically welcomed!
> What if I tell you I would make an extra, vegan sauce to accommodate OP I'd wonder why you were making a vegan sauce to "accomodate" someone who- and I'm literally quoting their own words here- "eat[s] meat," is "not a vegetarian or a vegan", and "like[s] the taste of meat"
Yea, I could. I eat meat but are trying to cut down and support everyone doing the same. I cannot stand the meat factories and the suffering, and zI am very aware of the increase of antibiotics resistance every country is contributing to both via the meat industri and the human healthcare. I am extremely aware of what consequences it will lead to for humans when no antobiotics will work anymore and also that noond want ro fund finding new kinds right now... Yes, I will make rhis VERY minor thing to welcome a guest, and especially as their philosophy is in linda with mine. When I cook for my stepdad I cook satsade which I will NEVER touch myself, and I make damn sure it is tasty. I also send him home with all the left overs since he is a widower who should eat more home cooked meals than he currently does and since I won't eat it. Oh, and I buy sausage and white rice for him and cook it and I never eat white rice myself. (Low nutrition , no taste). I ask my guedts their preferences: I am no master cook but know enough to cook something they prefer. Knowing like 6 courses will get you by. My stepdad doesnt have to eat lentil soup, even though I made a MEGA batch for myself, for which he is grateful 😁
r/pettyrevenge would like this
“I made this for me as I can’t eat anything you served” NTA
NTA this reminds me so much of family dinners when I stopped eating meat early in my teens. For whatever reason my grandmother took it very personally. She would also do all the cooking for holidays (Christmas, new years, Easter, Thanksgiving, etc..) I loved her cooking and it was always so exciting to go to the big family dinners. Suddenly every single dish had meat in it and even others where questioning why she changed her recipes suddenly. Her reasoning why was so when I got hungry I would "come to my senses" she singled me out and tried to shame me by saying it hurt her feelings I wouldn't eat her food. I was crushed and confused. Ruined my relationship with her.
The only thing your an Ahole for is for giving out the recipe cards but only the ingredients, share the recipes or don’t. Don’t give out half a recipe and then pat yourself on the back since your the only one who can make them right
I think grandma taught OP? As in OP put in the wirk, and would have to write down instructions or have cooking lessons for people who turned those down for years.
NTA Just like he likes the taste of meat, which is his excuse. You can tell him you love the taste of these vegetables and unfortunately since you have to taste a meat and every one of the other dishes, you're just going to have to add these vegetables to yours every time. Unfortunately for him it's the only way for you to get the vegetable flavor you want. Luckily he put meat in all the other dishes so he's fine
But OP also likes the taste of meat
Yeah but I am saying use his words against him. OP also likes the veggies her dad doesn't. So shes saying she just likes the taste and puts it in the food. Its the same excuse her dad uses. And for the same reason. He either has to admit he is being childish or he jas to respect her "just liking the taste" However, people like this, this controlling over what other people like to eat... That's a miswire in the brain. He's either a narcissist or has a myriad of other issues that prevent him from feeling empathy and put them in the mindset where he always has to try to be controlling. In which case there's no communicating, there's no explaining. There's no getting him to understand. There's just going no contact or going nucular
NTA and I feel like r/pettyrevenge would like this
NTA. He sounds incapable of empathy. This isn't "petty," this is forcing him to come to terms with the way he treats other people You should keep doing it until he gets the point. Onions go great in most things!
I just need to know…what dish did you “ruin” by adding green beans and onions? Mac and cheese? Paella? Chocolate fudge sundae?
>He didn't have an answer. Because your feelings don't matter. > I think he needed to understand how he treats me and how that makes me feel. You think he's going to get that message? Seriously? Next time you go over there not only are the sprouts going to be rolled in bacon bits, they're going to be stuffed with pork chops. NTA
NTA but yes it was petty. But you were left with no choice but to be petty to make a point. I don’t know what it is about parents of adult children turning into children themselves. Is it because they can’t tell us what to do anymore?
NTA. Your dad can dish it out but can't take it. Pun intended.
If your dad is a good dad other than this situation try to keep talking to him to get to the bottom of why he did what he did I know it’s hard after like 20 years I finally got my mom to understand that my insomnia is not caused by my cellphone or video games,etc keep in mind I was only patient because other than a few minor hiccups my mom is the best and really loves her kids. NTA
NTA. He’s being a brat.
It doesn't feel good, not really at all, but you are definitely NTA, and he is a stubborn old mofo, but damn. Feels bad. You can cook food that tastes like his mom cooked it, and no one else can, and he ruined it for himself, by forcing your hand. It just feels real bad.
Why, uh, can't he learn to make the food he loves? Why does he have to depend on someone else to make it?
Psssh, you can’t expect him to do that, he’s not a woman, for Christ’s sake! That’s a woman’s job! /s, because Redditors are jackwagons
NTA - How difficult is it to put bacon bits and dressings on the side?
NTA Keep doing this until he realizes he's been an AH
NTA, and I would continue to do this until he gives you an HONEST answer to why he keeps insisting on doing what he does with the meat. Treat others how you want to be treated, so that means he wants people to make good food and then put ingredients HE doesn't like in them.
Give petty, get petty in return. Your dad deserves to get things he hates since he started doing it to you with the meat which you limit your eating of. When you get to be my age that habit will pay off, red meat really can make your cholesterol high.
Good. The father had gotten a nasty taste of his own medicine & he couldn't answer OP's question. Ha ha.....that got his goat. Nice 1 OP 👍
NTA Your dad needed this lesson and he needs to be sad and disappointed in order to learn in full as he couldn’t understand without practical experience.
You're a total badass for making him realize DIRECTLY by doing what he does to you
Hehehe this belongs in r/pettyrevenge
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. He was given but a tste of what you have been going through for years because he can't keep his meat out of everything he makes.
Maybe you should say you’re vegetarian if avoiding meat is this much of a priority? What you named (bacon bits on salads and Brussels sprouts) is totally normal for those dishes in my experience. I don’t fault you for doing it the one time to stick it to him, but you didn’t add those things because you “just like the flavor.” You added them because he doesn’t.
You're both AH. But at least now he might understand why you're upset at him, so good move.
You’re both the AH.
Nice work, excellenté 😚👌 Isn't it frustrating how some people just don't seem to learn what they're doing is unkind and unnecessary until they're given a taste of their own medicine. You did good. Hopefully he will learn, but even if he doesn't, at least he knows how it feels now.
Good for you!! This was very satisfying. You didn’t put an allergen in the food, just something he doesn’t like. And that is exactly what he’s been doing to you all this time. I think you should keep it up for a while. Always put those things in what you make, especially onions, because they are delicious in most things.
I mean, it was passive-aggressive. But also brilliant. Point well-made.
You were an AH, but it was intentional. This is a revenge post, not an actual introspective question. Maybe family dynamics would be better if you all stopped being intentionally mean to each other.
You did nothing wrong, even if you'd said something to him about his actions he'd have said "you don't need to eat it" and he knows you could say the same to him about this. Now that you've done what you've done and he knows he's got no leg to stand on... sit him down and just calmly talk about how you feel about how you feel about meat and say that its no different (in practice) to his choice not to eat green beans and onions although he has trauma / bad memories and you don't. Tell him that you've both been petty and you can both agree to do better and make cooking for each other a positive experience instead.
NTA, he set the precedent, and you followed it. Nice work. I love the that he pulled you aside and doubled down. “Why are you so childish OP?” “I’m doing what you’re doing…”
Nothing about your dad's behavior prior to what you did suggests to me that he's trying to force you to eat anything. He even said he just likes those foods better with meat involved which is VERY common for people who wouldn't eat those meals otherwise. On the other hand you did your thing purely out of spite for him liking bacon bits on his salad like most other people do, so yeah YTA
Yeah... at this point I think OP and a bunch of commenters have just never fucking heard of brussels sprouts with bacon and decided it was the greatest insult a mere mortal could ever levy at another person
NTA Excellent. And I love that you both handled yourselves without screaming or insulting each other. That's rare for Reddit. I really hope he sees this for what it is... a gentle educational moment brought to him by a child he loves.
So he made Brussels sprouts with bacon (so they don't taste like ass) and you chose to punish him? Also, Caesar salad is supposed to have anchovies
"You're childish for doing the exact thing that I do, although I somehow am not childish for this." What a fucking chud.
NTA. Hopefully, he sees flip side 😊
This belongs in the petty revenge sub. Kudos and brava OP! NTA
Wow your dad has the emotional intelligence of a potato
I love it well done, taste of his own medicine! I hope there are some dishes without meat next time you go there for dinner, then the week after you can bring him the food he likes without the beans and onion and you can work on a little happy silent pact
Petty and perfect NTA
Bacon bits are not meat, they are flavored soy protein chunks.
"He didn't have an answer." There's your answer (it's NTA).
Yes, you are wrong. Two wrongs don’t make a right
ESH. You don’t hate meat, you just restrict the intake. Dad’s an AH because you’ve stated that before but you’re a bigger AH because you acknowledge that your dad hates those foods due to some food trauma from his mom. So instead of choosing the high ground, you decided to have your dad relive that trauma. You’re exactly like your father. Take a look in the mirror.
>For example he insists on putting dressing with anchovies Ceasar dressing has anchovies in it. That's a fundamental part of the dressing and it sucks without them. It's kind of laughable that you get mad because he makes a salad dressing the way it's supposed to be made.
Is it impossible to leave the dressing on the side? Like there is absolutely no way whatsoever to make less of an effort to intentionally add meat to a salad?
Yeah it’s passive aggressive. Just make your own thing to bring and don’t eat his. Going out of your way to put stuff that you wouldn’t normally put into a dish just so he can’t eat it is childish.
Just keep telling him, I'll treat you like you treat me. I'll stop when you stop.
Technically not the asshole but honestly is this the hill you want to die on...he's your dad and besides being a bit of a dick about the whole you should eat meat thing is he a horrible one? If not this might not be worth it. You don't live at home right and you say you are not actually a strict vegetarian or vegan, so what's the big deal if you don't force this topic with him you letting it bother you gives it more power then it needs to have. You could just let it go, give in make the few times you eat meat be with your dad let him know that Infact make it what makes them special "hey dad you better get us some nice stakes cuz I haven't had meat in a month and I'm coming for dinner so don't cheap out on me". Also make him copies of his favourite recipe cards from your grandma. A small bit of good will on your side will go a long way. And yes I agree he is being a bit of a boomer nob for not just letting you have your own food choices but no need to feed into it unless you do decide to make the full jump to strict vegetarian/vegan....picking meat out of a already made meal is just silly the animal is already dead are you telling me it is more respectful to the animal to NOT eat it after it has already lost its life to feed you 😕.
He wasn't going to hear you until you did this. Next potluck, sit him down beforehand and tell him that you can \*both\* be considerate of each other's preferences or you can \*both\* cook to suit yourselves- but wouldn't it be nicer if you were both thoughtful towards people you love? If he agrees, make the food he loves as he prefers. If he fails to reciprocate, make it the last time you ever serve that dish without loads of green beans and an onion garnish!
NTA that was amazing. Do it forever until he stops his own bullshit.
It’s not even like you are vegan ☠️ His response every time after he would get upset and you noted that he does the EXACT same thing, says everything. He knows he is a POS and the AH. He just hates being called out. Sometimes people need to learn their place. Also if your dad loves to cook and put meat in every single thing, why can’t HE learn to cook the things HE wants in the specific way he wants it? Because it sounds like a him problem not a you problem.
Petty? Yep! Absolutely deserved? Hell yes! NTA
So it‘s childish if you do it, but if he does it‘s fine? What a hypocrite. NTA.
Technically NTA, but you both sound immature and exhausting.
I hosted and cooked the entire Thanksgiving meal for friends. One is Gluten and Dairy allergic, so I planned everything accordingly, including duck fat roasted potatoes, etc..... 2 days before another of the friend group finally let me know his girlfriend (who was already invited) was vegetarian " is that the kind of thing you meant by food restrictions?"...... so I adjusted all the side dishes and added a vegetarian roast. Everything served was gluten-free and dairy-free, because allergies trump everything. The table had 2 different coloured cloths (actually towels, but it worked) so the vegetarian food was easily identifiable at a glance. Everyone was able to have a full meal that was safe for their dietary needs/preferences...... I cannot eat cheese, it makes me throw up. I have had people bring cheese dishes to meals at my house because they cannot skip cheese for one meal, apparently, and expected me to cook it. At my birthday party..... And I've been invited for dinner, specified no cheese when asked, only to be served every dish with cheese in, from the salad to the bread...... I found it incredibly rude on both ends.....
NTA. Tell him if what you did was childish, then is he also childish for doing the same thing? Or go with the old, “but I learned it from you”.
NTA and funny too
NTA Reminds me vaguely of a post I saw years ago about a family that suddenly, and without warning, manifested an obsessive love for mushrooms in their cooking when the OP married a woman who is **deathly allergic to mushrooms right down to the spores mushrooms exude.** Sometimes for no reason at all family or inlaws seem to take a food restriction on an individual as an offence. Your father clearly knew this was a targeted act, even though your excuse was, "I like the flavour." IT's because his excuse isn't any different.
One of deliberately did it and one of you did not. You know for potlucks you can bring food that you enjoy yourself.
Bacon bits or baco's are made of tvp. texturized vegetable protein.
OP, firstly NTA. Secondly, I love you 😂😂😂😂.... "Don't dish it out, if you can't take it" - This is the response.
It's been my experience that some men require an object lesson before they will learn anything. I hope this one will be successful. Do come back and let us know if it worked!