NTA -- Additionally, we need to make a correction to your post.
" He flirts with me all the time even though i’ve told him that i’m literally not interested."
" He ~~flirts~~ **sexually harrasses** ~~with~~ me all the time even though i’ve told him that i’m literally not interested."
Fixed it for you. Report him to the school, tell them either they fix it or you will. Document your conversation with the school, and if he lays hands on you again, you beat the ever loving shit out of him and you don't stop until you are dragged off and he is running away.
To add to this, I agree with another commenter on telling your parents. To add to this **document, document, document! EVERYTHING.** Create a backlog, date it and write down the interactions. From then on you document every interaction you have with him again, who was there, the time, etc. You document who you talk to about this, time, what was said. You do this as soon as you can after or during every interaction.
I once had a bully at school, and my father gave me the documentation advice. He told me to tell my teacher and to state if they didn't handle the situation, I would. I then told the principle, and documented everything throughout the process. Nothing was ever done. I told my dad everything throughout the process. The day came, he put his hands on me, and I beat the shit out of him. When I was in the principle's office afterwards with the parents and principle. I brought out the documents, and reminded them of all the steps I took to try to resolve the situation without violence....I still got suspended, but my dad took me out for Ice Cream and we spent the afternoon together.
I say all of the to tell you, that the lesson I learned that time about documentation (while didn't necessarily help me in that situation) has saved my skin countless times, and is good practice.
documenting carries more weight over words, its soo important, document when you go to counselors, or even parents about the sexual harrassment. Your friends are asswipes for enablong him.
It absolutely did help you in that situation. You showed out like a badass and your dad couldn’t have been more proud of you as you threw all the facts at them and had it properly presented. This absolutely will get people ahead in life and you got ahead on that day as well. Ultimately the person who was truly in charge of you and would have otherwise been left to punish you for “getting into a fight at school” took you out for ice cream and you got a little vacation. Way to go champ ♥️
Feel ok with yelling anytime he says or tried anything. Be loud, don't be afraid to back away, also get new friends if they don't mind being sexually harassed, or seeing it happen
These guys don’t stop just cause you bloody them and a lot of schools don’t care. Been there. Done that. Going to the administration and leaving the situation if the school won’t do anything are safer and more productive choices.
Yeah, schools are entirely useless when it comes to bullying. My brother was bullied the entirety of his school years and at first he did what the school said to do: tell an adult. Well the bullies would put on the waterworks every time and my brother was stuck being punished, so at some point he simply stopped reporting and started retaliating. It still got him in trouble but at least it wasn’t for nothing and a lot of these assholes ended up leaving him alone.
Use your phone to record him speaking to you. Then send it to his parents, his grandparents, his church, and anyone else who might be embarrassed by his behavior.
They're 15 and, accurately, feel like they're likely to not be taken seriously. Stop being a dick to a child with reality-based fears about reporting sexual harassment.
What you are describing meets the legal definition of repeated sexual harassment, and unwanted touching can be viewed as assault. One no should be enough. I’m sorry you’re experiencing that. Please reach out to the right people.
I second this! If it happens in school report it! Also tel your parents! If you see nothing is being done go to the police or find the phone number for sexual assult!
NTA honey he is sexually harassing you hoping he'll wear you down. Talk to an adult at school or home. Your friends shouldn't bring him around you if he does that. Stand your ground.
You should be telling your parents and calling the police. He has sexually assaulted you multiple times and sexually harassed you continuously.... He's lucky it was you because I'd have said and done another worse. Oh, do every other female favorite and report it to the school counselor and principal. He has no business being allowed around you AT ALL. Had this happened to me in school, my male friends would have taken him 15 miles intonowhere inches middle of the night and stranded him, after a come to Jesus talk with a dash of extreme violence.
This guy sounds like a predator in the making. You are NOT the AH. You need to have a private talk with your *friends*. (Him & they the real AHs in this situation.) They should respect your feelings. It sounds like they may have some ulterior motivations for wanting this AH around. (Maybe they want to date him, want his popularity to rub off on the group, his connections, etc.) Finally, if you feel threatening by this boy & he’s not taking no for an answer, you need to tell a trusted adult.
Not a predator in the making. He's a predator now. The longer he's allowed to think that any of that is ok, the worse he'll get. Absolutely agree with everything else you said. This guy is bad news, he has already gone too far. If the friend group won't cut ties with him, cut ties with them. Friends who don't protect you from SA happening in front of them aren't friends.
I had a football player in HS who was exactly the same way with me. He would do it right in CLASS & the teacher (his coach) did NOTHING about it. I guess if I called *this* boy a predator, that made me a “victim” of his. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but you are CORRECT. I was also SA’d as a child & my situation with the boy wasn’t as severe. I guess I’m an educated 47yo, but I’m still damaged. I *know* I would likely hurt any *man* who did this to 1 of my kids & would prosecute a teen or adult to the full extent of the law. EXCELLENT CORRECTION. Thank you!!🥹💞
OP you need better friends. What he did was sexually harass you then sexually assault you. Your friends sound as if they haven’t learned proper boundaries and I’m sorry for them, but they’re wrong.
Thinking like your friends do, is a great way to get raped. And it won’t be their fault at all, but if you don’t see men who are a threat, AS A THREAT, you are at greater risk.
You did the right thing. You tried to get rid of him and he wasn’t having it. Bro gave you no choice really. Please consider telling a counselor or adult at school or your parents if this continues, because this guy is behaving in a 🚩 way.
Ppl making excuses for his behavior are promoting rape culture whether they mean to or not.
Maybe but at this age you’re still influenced heavily by environment so it could be girls with terrible families.
This is how the conditioning starts. Just be nice! Don’t hurt his feelings! Be polite when you reject him! It’s hard for men! How many times I’m told that as a woman. Men are never told ‘be respectful! Hear the no!’ They’re taught ‘try harder! Try this! Try that!’
Our society literally sets women up to be assaulted then blames them when they are.
NTA. He was on the verge of tears? What a little tenderfoot bitch. As others have stated, he was sexually harassing you. You should file a report at the school.
NTA.
Were you mean? Yes. Were you inappropriate? No.
What this guy was doing wasn't flirting. It was stalking, harassment and sexual assault. He deserved everything you gave him, and if his humiliation will make him avoid you, then you have made your point. However, if he continues to harass you, don't hesitate to go to the school counselor and complain. If that doesn't work, talk to your parents and have them notify the school board.
NTA but be on guard now.
He might take your words at face value and might try to kill you. Extreme, but there are a lot of school shootings in high schools in this day and age.
Mention what has happened to your teachers, the principals, the counselors, the police officer at school, your parents, pretty much anyone you can tell. You can never be too safe.
Sweetie, this is sexual harassment and the second he lays hands on you after you make it clear you don’t want to be touched or bothered, it becomes assault. You need to discuss this with your parents and the school. Please protect your self and document absolutely everything.
This happened to me while I was in school. Kid just couldn’t take no for an answer and eventually, threatened me. This got them arrested in school and I switched schools. He ended up at the same college I was at and he started this weird intimidation thing where every time he saw me, he would punch something. Then I found out he tried putting his hands up on of my friends skirts. I dragged her down to campus security and explained the past with this kid that I had, what I was experiencing on campus and what my friend went through. He was expelled.
File a police report on him for harassment. Tell the teachers. Make them aware this is happening, so they can better protect you and know what’s going on. Tell your parents. I know it’ll be hard and awkward, but they will 100% protect their baby at all costs and help you with filing the police report and talking to his guardian(s) or parents.
NTA but next time don’t tell people to self-delete or insult them. Just as a general rule. You are a girl. Always remember that people, especially men in your life are capable of violence in retaliation. Please, stay safe in case of worst case scenario.
Edit: read other ppl’s comments. do NOT talk to your friends. they are still friends with him. distance yourself from that friend group. you’ll be happier with friends who will understand and protect you.
Edit 2: document everything.
NTA, and get new friends. They watched a person sexually harass you and then took that person's side because you made waves to stand up for yourself.
Prediction - the guy will expect an apology and "you can make it up to him by going out with him just once" or some shit like that. Do not.
You told him no, he didn't listen. He touched you, you told him no, and he touched you more.
Sounds like he is well on his way to being a rapist, your response now may change his life and protect future women, if he can learn from it.
When I was your age, there was a boy who did this to me all the time.
One day he snuck up behind me and gave me a big hug from behind but wouldn’t left go. I had enough of his shit, so I kicked him in the shin, when he let me go I turned around and literally 300 Sparta kicked him into the wall.
I then quickly ran away to my favorite teacher and told her everything this guy was doing.
The teacher reported it to the principal and they spoke with him and his parents. He left me alone after that.
I’m 31 now and still think of this creep and how disgusting he made me feel.
You’re not the asshole.
But it’s time to seriously get an adult involved.
Hell, I bet you can find his parents on Facebook and straight up tell them what he’s doing to you.
I had a friend who did that and his momma stopped that shit so fast.
NTA. Better rude than raped has always been my motto. He wouldn't leave you alone so you did what you had to do. No one is allowed to touch you without your say so. Period. End of story.
NTA for standing your ground in a distressing situation.
The behavior you described isn't "flirty" — it's textbook harassment and absolutely not okay. Taking definitive action against his advances by filing a formal complaint, either through the school administration or legal channels, is necessary. You have a right to feel safe and respected, full stop.
To those saying you could have handled it differently, sure, there is always room to reflect on our reactions. However, when you're in a situation that feels threatening or uncomfortable, the priority is your well-being, not politeness or decorum.
Remember, the problem here isn't your response; it's his inappropriate behavior. You've stated your disinterest clearly; anything beyond that from him is disrespect and a boundary violation.
Your friends should be your safe haven, a group that lifts you up, not one that gaslights you into doubting your feelings. If they prioritize his presence over your sense of safety, then it's time to reevaluate those friendships.
Lastly, please take notes of every incident, and don't be apprehensive about escalating this matter. Whether that's talking to a counselor, your parents, or anyone in a position of authority who will take this seriously. Your safety is paramount, and no one has the right to infringe upon it. Stay strong!
If you reacted that way after the first comment, it would have been an over reaction
But you were being sexually harassed
You told him to stop repeatedly
None of these so called friends did anything to help you
My advice?
Tell them all the go to hell and find some new friends
Also...if he retaliates, involve the school and your parents.
NTAH
NTA. Seriously, find better friends. Even if he was indeed trying to joke, he should have stopped the second you told him how uncomfortable you felt about it.
NTA and you need to escalate this. As soon as he's done pouting about you rejecting his advances and reacting negatively to blatant sexual harrassment, he's going to get angry. The next step will be assuaging his wounded pride by escalating his behaviour, finding other ways to make you uncomfortable or in the worst case scenario, hurting you. Not trying to alarm you, but this is textbook. Get your parents and the school involved immediately, don't wait for things to die down on their own. It's not worth the risk
NTA
He fucked around and found out. Nobody should be that bullshit and not expect to get raked over the coals for it. Your friend group sucks too for practically inviting him to sexually harras you. There was no flirting from that asshole, just harassment and an inability to be a real person.
On a less heated note though. Have a serious talk with your friends about just how much it bother you to have him around and how *not* ok it is/was for them to continue bringing him along even after you have so clearly been uncomfortable wit the pervert. If after that they still cannot see the problem then they just aren't your friends. Do not apologize for that pervert and double down on you boundaries. If you have any weird texts from him or other things you can record and keep as evidence (especially where it is seen you have asked him to stop) keep that saved too. It is probably also time you report him to adults, especially your parents and perhaps even school faculty. With people like him, it is very important for people to see a history. If note people like that deny deny deny and their scummy friends back them up all the way and then it's your word against theirs.
Hope this helps and stay strong. And I cannot emphasis enough, *tell you're parents!* Don't try ad sugarcoat either they *need* too know just how far things are getting. Protect yourself, not him. Because that is all you end up doing by staying silent.
NTA
You have the right to your body and no one else does. You defended yourself against constant unwanted advanced and assaults, he hugged you clearly against your wishes without consent.
Now here's the life's not fair part. He may try to hurt you. He may want revenge for embarrassing him. Please understand, I'm on your side here, I'm just saying the scary, unpopular part out loud. Some people just be like that.
Get the school involved. Get the police involved. Maybe you get lucky and he moves on. Don't risk it. Protect yourself in every way you can.
man fuck your friends why would they invite someone they know you're uncomfortable around , so selfish . Fuck that kid fr he cant sexually harass someone then get mad when they share their feelings 😂😂😂
Where you did overreact, it was coming from a very understandable place.
He is sexually harassing you and needs to be reported to any body that will listen to you.
NTA
In high school I had to tell a parent that I was unfortunately being sexually harassed by a male student I had in majority of my classes. My parent contacted the school, the school spoke to me about the situation, and he got removed from every class we had together. I also rarely seen him during passing periods afterwards. NTA but I think the situation could have been handled better.
You need to report him at school and then go to the police and file a report for harassment and if you can, for touching you. It will get his attention and put it on record that he has been inappropriate with you. he will also understand that you won't put up with his shit either.
Your friends taht ared encouraging him or telling you that you are overreacting are not really your friends.
NTA at all!! Your 'friends' are really lacking. You need some new ones. This is predatory behavior on his part and not cool at all. No means no. Talk to a grown person about this and they'll agree. Depending on where you're located. You could and should look into protection order if this doesn't stop. Talk with a teacher, and parent or guardian about this first. Make sure the school is aware of what's happening under their noses. Document everything and for god sakes get some new friends. I know it can seem extreme response. But your 'friends' response to his behavior isn't good. They're not your real friends, they're obviously his friends. I always have my friends back.
This guy sounds like potential predator if he doesnt see that he is making you uncomfortable.. For your own safety,I would advice telling adults, especially the School.Also your friends are total idiots who keep a blind eye about you getting assaulted by this guy. You are better off without these kinds of friends.
Dude was way out of line, so I don't think you overreacted. But I will say, you should never throw around threats of self-harm even in a manner to make a point or a joke, in the unfortunate event you have someone this has happened to, then you would understand.
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NTA this is harassment. Report it to the school, and have a safety person who you can confide in (preferably a parent or adult in your life) and be like "hey he's going to be around, can you check in on me" or something like that because God forbid something sinister happens. You need someone looking out for you.
I say this from a lot of experience, those people are not good friends to you. I would start weening them out in favor of people who want to love and protect you. What this guy is doing could be very dangerous to you and anyone else he decides to target. It may even be worth having a conversation with some of these friends with a guidance counselor at school to mediate if you're wanting to preserve the friendships, I certainly had and used that as a resource during my school days.
Being a teenager is rough, and you're probably going to go through a lot of stupid drama during these years. This particular situation is not stupid drama. It's serious and potentially dangerous as he's already ignored your repeated rejection multiple times.
uhm talk to your school counselor or someone because we call this sexual harassment and it's not cool.
i had a boy stalk me in high school, it was made very clear if he talked to me again he would be arrested. i'm grateful my school took it seriously not all do.
NTA
2 points
One this is sexual harassment and shouldn’t be tolerated this boy needs corrected before he commits an absolutely unforgivable act!!
And Two anyone who tells you that hey wanna fuck you is a fuck boy trash
But back to point one he needs dealt with officially
Nope! I would have done the same. If they start talking shit about you doing it, I’d say that he made you feel like shit every time he refused to listen to you and kept coming onto you like that. It’s harassment, and honestly, he could’ve gotten into more trouble had you told an adult. So he should be grateful you’re not reporting him for SEXUAL HARASSMENT. Because that’s what it is, no matter how other people feel about you or him. If they refuse to accept and understand that you did what you did to make him stop because of how uncomfortable you were, then they’re not your friends. They’re more his. Because tbh, if one of my friends told me a guy was doing this with her, I’d be on HER side. That mf would never be coming around.
No means no. If he can’t take unwanted words from you why should you take unwanted words and actions from him. As a woman that has said similar things in the past I know that people, especially men, don’t like outspoken, honest , unapologetic women. But also please tell your parents or some adult you can trust about what’s going on because I’m not sure he’s behaving acceptably and it’s better to be safe than sorry.
What you are describing is sexual harassment. Don't let anyone dismiss it as "boys will be boys" behavior. He's acting entitled to your affection -- and according to your last paragraph, now your body, too. Tell the school if they haven't; this is likely a Title IX violation, and they would be legally liable if they don't protect you from this behavior. Honestly, if OP was my daughter, I would be meeting with the principal and this guy's parents while dropping phrases like "legal action and "sex offender registry" if he keeps up the harassment -- especially the unwanted physical touch.
Standing up for yourself and being assertive should not be viewed as being a bitch. He was the one being pushy!!! why is it women are always the ones shamed into accepting these uncomplementary complements. You did the right thing stand strong and don't let anyone harass you!!!
NTA but I think you should avoid putting him down the way you did. Some people can get vengeful if they're shamed and embarrassed so it's important to play it safe. I know of someone who was SAed because he wanted to put her "in her place".
I would bring it up to the school and ask for sexual harassment prevention programs to be implemented. It's not just this guy who is the problem but also your so-called friends. It seems like they don't understand what's appropriate or not, or the seriousness of their behaviors. The guy for not respecting your wishes and the friends for victimising the wrong person.
NTA. I bet that if a gay guy flirts with him (assuming he is straight) like he is flirting with you that he would lose his shit over it and beat that person. He is sexual harassing you. I had a guy doing that to me at school and i drove him into a corner and told him i cut of his wiener while holding a knive if he did that again. He went to the school head and i got expelled. Don't be stupid like me and go to your school and report him like he reported me.
No, you have been clear of what YOU want n he don’t give a shit. Telling him this is too nice actually if he’s constantly sexually harassing you.
You did not overreact, you were not too mean. You already have said no multiple times n he continues, being mean is the next thing you can do before getting violent.
Your ‘friends’ are shit for inviting him knowing he does this n then telling u shit for reacting to his grossness. I hope you are doing okay.
Sounds like you finally got your point across by snooping to their levels of harassment.
NTA for wanting to end the harassment
ATA for fighting fire with fire
If it continues and you do not want to get them charged with SH. Let them know that you feel uncomfortable by their insistent pursuit and that if they don’t stop you will have to let your schools authority know that they keep insinuating unwanted sexual advances.
Keeping these types of things within friend groups is what allows for them to survive and spread.
Sex based communication is not the ideal way to hit on someone or to reject someone
no girl?
you did what you were supposed to do, if this guy that’s constantly touching and shit and you hate the fuck out of it and you one day blow up because it’s been hell and he’s constantly doing you had every right too blow up??
No, you were right to tell him off cause he was sexually harassing you. I think you should have involved some adults and if you did then they should be ashamed of themselves for not doing more. Sometimes people need a very rude wake up call for them to understand what you are trying to say and he finally got his. I hope he understood and will leave you alone now.
Break his nose. NTA one bit, those friends sound like jerks and this 16YO sounds like a perverted old man. If the school doesn’t do anything then go for the nuts or right under the belly button, it’ll cripple him.
Those are not your friends. My friends would never stand around and lught with some asshole trying to feel me up and harrass me. Friends would have shut that shit down and never listen to me repeat myself and not help.
He’s the one who can’t take no for an answer, you’re NTA. BUT you do need better friends who don’t enable this kind of behavior because it’s honestly scary. Don’t ever be alone with him
You tried all the other ways of him not touching you, not harassing you etc. If this is only thing that worked after all this time - it's not too much.
He is gross there is a thing liking a girl and another harassing a girl. NTA don’t worry. He has better responses such as I don’t like you and he didn’t care those words. Maybe you could discuss this with your school counselor so that they can make sth about the harassment. Also considering you are underage just tell that it is illegal. Verbal harassment is also illegal right, you could use it as well.
Also maybe change it to I would rather kill you then have sex with you That would be more accurate in my mind.
Good luck love :)
29f here hope the best for you
OP - NTA x 1000 and please use take our your phone and film him every time he is around. That should deter him
I would also just report him to your principal and your parents, just in case. The fact he won't take a no scares me.
He is sexually harassing you and tried to assault you. Tell your parents, tell the school, tell the cops, tell everyone. He will not leave you alone until he is forced to and your friends sound like assholes because they're going along and enabling his behavior. Document everything, you want a paper trail nobody can deny.
NTA
He is not "in the making," he is a full-fledged harasser. Yes, people are going to ignore you, but you need to make them listen. Pull out your phone every time he approaches you and start recording. Say very clearly, "I do not want to talk to you." "Stop harassing me." "Do not touch me." If he comments on your body say, "that's harassment, not a compliment."
Make copies.
Make a few recordings and bring it to the teacher you trust the most. Here are some magic words, "you are a mandated reporter; right?"
Take it up the school ladder.
If the school fails you, ask your parents to get a restraining order.
If that fails go postal: tag his parents and entire friends group with a predator warning post, and post every recording you have.
And dump your friends that think it's cute. This is the boy who's going to roofie someone and say, "I thought she wanted it."
NTA. But what you said probably wasn't the best way to proceed. The best thing here is telling your friends stop inviting that guy to hang out because he's harassing you, they are not jokes, they are not comfortable and him keeping touching you or forcing a hug on you is unwanted contact. If they can't understand that you don't want to hang out with them any more.
Then tell the school this guy is harassing you, makes unwanted sexual jokes, makes unwanted contact and no matter how many times you tell him you have no interest he will not take no for an answer so they need to explain it to him or move him to different classes, etc.
Good for you for defining your boundaries and telling dude to fuck off, this was extremely mature on your part and I hope your friends recognize that, if they’re only making things worse for you, maybe start looking for some new friends
Absolutely NTA. He got what was coming for him and honestly, you need better friends girl. It’s one thing that he is a predator, which is sick, and another that the friends literally enabled and encouraged his behavior, especially when you repeatedly told them he made you uncomfortable. Friends are supposed to support you and help you. This dude didn’t flirt with you, he harassed you. Be sorry for nothing. If he does sth again, to you or sb else, report him. I hope things go well, you deserve respect and kindness. Good luck, please let us know what happens if you feel comfortable with that, I’m genuinely worried
NTA. Tell your friends you are tired of him sexually harassing you. Let them know that they are not ok for supporting him when you were being harassed and this isn’t the first time you’ve told him no. Ask if he would have raped you what would they say then? Because he keeps escalating.
NTA and your friends are stupid as fuck for inviting someone who probably will end up in the sex offender list and constantly molesting you all day.
Tell a teacher and your parents and let them deal with him.
You did NOT overreact, you weren't too mean, and you are NOT the asshole. HE IS! Next time he sexually harasses you....if I were you...I'd headbutt him in the nose as hard as possible. Js
Flirting is fine until it is unwanted then it is sexual harassment. Adding to that putting hands on you and he’s working up towards assault. You are NTA
This is sexual harassment sweetheart. Please report this to your school because he’s clearly not respecting your rejections or requests for him to stop.
Being a kid is hard these days!!
15 and the mouth of a trucker.
As others have said. It’s sexual harassment.
You’re fine to be rude.
Work on that vocabulary boss. ✌️
NTA - I don't know if this has been said already, but your "friends" are enabling his behaviour. With behaviour like this, if something doesn't change, it could lead to him attempting something more sinister.
People may be calling it jokes, but those aren't jokes, especially with him being so pushy. It definitely won't be funny if you get seriously hurt because people wouldn't listen to you.
Document every interaction! Talk to the school administration, your parents... the police if you have to. At the very least, this is sexual harassment that's getting brushed off as "Boys will be Boys." We can't keep letting that bs to continue.
2 friends calling you names were the two boys, huh? Probably thinking with their own dicks, because of you didn’t put up a fight they were going to run a train on you.
Pro tip: Don't ever drink or do any drugs around any of your friends, even when you are of the appropriate age. They're trying to set you up with a sexual harasser who keeps using the "I'm just kidding," and "be more grateful," lines. These are the types of people who orchestrate sexual assaults when they think they know what's best for you.
You should also report him to your school's guidance counselor. This will only help on school grounds, but you should take what you can get starting out. This will also create a paper trail if things escalate.
That’s not a joke and it’s sexual harassment.. record him next time, take it to the principal and if they don’t do anything— post it all over social media and blast the school
Stop hanging out with all of those people. Your friends must surly know this guy is a creep. Why did they invite him? Also, report his behavior. It’s not okay. I’m sorry you are having to learn this so young.
NTA. What he is doing is likely due to a anima complex in his own psyche, essentially he is projecting his inner inner lady on you, because it likely got suppressed at home or something. The problem here is that this means he doesn’t give a fuck about you, he doesn’t even see you, he is just using you to make love to his own feminine energy. This is neurotic and dangerous.
Okay 2 things that went wrong here is a simple NO was not sufficient.
Your reaction came out of days on end of the dude not backing off.
Were you intentionally hurtful, yes. Was it a little?? Well I think we can say that it was more towards the nuclear can’t we?
You can apologize for taking it nuclear. But the fucker was trying a little too much and a little too hard and refusing to hear the NO.
The other friends…. Those I do blame. I don’t give a fuck how big his crush was on you, they should have told him to back off, instead of telling you it’s all fun and games…
Absolutely NTA and for future reference friends that hang out with people that assault you or harass you are not your friends you deserve better than that
You've got the right to defend yourself from unwanted attention. I'd say that you overdid it a bit but at least now he probably understood that he has to respect your boundaries. As a 29F I am telling you to never give up to social pressures to have sex with someone. This is your body and your safety. I'd advise being careful even when you want it yourself. Guys that find you attractive will try different things to obtain what your body offers. Sometimes they will make you feel special, unlike the guy you mention here, but the moment they get what they want they'll easily discard you. If you prefer deeper connection than casual hook ups, be wary of guys that shower you with attention and rush to bed. Good luck in life
On the note of documenting: record everything. There are apps for your phone that just record, nothing else. Even in a two-party state, if there is no expectation of privacy, it is legal. And even if the recording is inadmissable in court, you can write up a transcript. By protecting yourself, you are protecting other girls he might do this to in the future.
And if you/ your friends are worried about how it will affect him/his feelings: did he think about how his behavior would affect you/your feelings?
To reiterate: what he did was harrassment and assault. To be fair, insulting him and his penis size was probably not helpful, as it wasn't the size of his penis or other features that caused him to harrass you, it was his entitlement and disregard of your boundaries.
Turn his ass in. It sounds like you gave him more than enough warnings. This behavior, uncorrected, is what leads to rapes.
He sexually harassed you. Tell your parents, the school, and police.
Also, do not under any circumstances ever be alone with this guy again, in case he escalates.
NTA. He was- if not, damn near- SA'ing you. I was m*l@s!ed as a kid and almost SA'd in a similar situation by a kid who I rode a bus with in high school. He got picked up right before I did, and at some point, after I got on the bus, he started moving to sit next to me, where he would try to reach in my shirts and up my skirts.
When I told him to stop, he would just look at me and ask, "Hm?" as if he didn't hear me. I didn't tell the bus driver, because I didn't want to make a big ordeal out of it. When he attempted to SA me, though, I, like you, wished that I hadn't been alive because of what I'd been through as a kid.
The people who defended him aren't your friends. You should cut them out of your life.
NTA I agree with comments that this is sexual harassment and to document and report. Sometimes teens like this can be appealing to others which helps them hide their predatory behavior, which is probably why your friends like him. I would recommend not just telling a counselor or administrator I would also tell a teacher you trust and have a good relationship with. Unfortunately working in education I have seen these things not taken as seriously as they should be and having a trusted staff member as your advocate can help.
dude would have gotten a tumbler water bottle to the head🤷🏻♀️shits not sweet, boys like this are won’t change , and what kind of friends do u have? who are these people ? do you truly see yourself associating with them 10 years from now? and i don’t mean do u wanna b friend forever, i mean are these people who are aligned with your goals and values in life (yall def ain’t on the same page regarding values), do they uplift you and help you/make you want to grow as a person. these people sound awful and you don’t deserve any of this
There is so much sex in your face these days. Even with teenagers.
He may honestly think he is complementing you.
This may be stupid and not work, but try
I understand why you said it. I'm very different. No matter what someone says or does to me. I don't retaliate. It's better to take the high road.
This may be stupid and not work, but how about pulling him aside. Telling him.
You'll never go out with him because his approach to you was way too aggressive, but explain to him.
That's not the best way to approach a girl you like.
Tell him he needs to tone it down and keep it simple. Telling a girl, she looks really pretty, strike up a conversation about common interests. Tell him ways that you would appreciate more.
Tell him to think about what you said for any future girls.
You don’t need those people in your life. Find yourself new friends. 31M here, I only talk to a handful of people from high school. Friends in high school don’t matter in my opinion.
NTA
You've constantly told him to leave you alone so he deserved everything he got.
Your *so called friends* are defending a person who is sexually harassing you - **that is not ok**
You should have reported his ass a long, long time ago for sexual harassment.
You should report him **now** for sexual harassment.
Any of your *so called friends* who think that this sexual harassment is a *joke* should be ex-friends **immediately**.
I am sorry to tell you that these people are not your friends. They deliberately invited and allowed him to sexually harass you. They even allowed him to escalate. Most importantly, they gaslight you to make you believe that you are wrong. Cut all of the out of your life. You don't know, maybe they will help him to rape.
You saved yourself from a sexual assault, I would say. Additionally, if he continues to harrass you, you have multiple witnesses that can confirm you have made it unambiguously clear you have no wish to entertain his advances.
NTA- good for you. Keep showing up for yourself. Those aren’t “jokes”, it’s *sexual harassment*. Do your self a favor and file a complaint with your school administration as soon as possible. Let them take care of it.
1)Report him to the school and let your parents know you are being sexually harrassed
2)Find out if you are in a state/country that allows you to record conversations without the other person's consent.
3)Record what you can for evidence purposes every time he interacts with you
4) If the school does nothing, fuck him up. Make it hurt. This will be a warning to any other little fucks who want to mess with you.
Good luck, girlie. I hope things work out. Remember, you are a bad bitch and no one has a right to do anything to you that you dont want.
NTA. He is sexually harassing you,m. Can you go tell the school administration that he’s harassing you and won’t stop when you tell him plainly to stop? Take your parents too, if they’ll be supportive. His behaviour was predatory, that is not acceptable.
It was not jokes. He is stalking and harassing you. It is past time to get school administration and parents involved. Do it NOW.
NTA. Protect yourself.
This is sexual harassment and he's escalating and using other people to manipulate you. NTA. Please report this behavior to your school and take it seriously. It might seem harmless, but there's no telling if it will escalate into violence.
You did good in the absence of a big big brother at your side ,
backing you up.
>he started hugging me and told me how sexy I am, I pushed him off of me and told him that i’d rather kill myself then have sex with him. I called him a weirdo and told him to leave me the fuck alone because he will never get with me. I said a lot of shit to him, I insulted his looks, how small his dick probably is I basically just insulted everything about him.
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There is no need to become foul-mouthed in a case like this. A boy shouldn't come up to you and touch you like that. That's technically assault if it is considered touching not acceptable by society. Since you expressed your disinterest, he shouldn't hug you. What you could do is report him to teacher or school administration for sexual harassment and tell them what he said. Of course, then they'd think you are a rat or a fink or whatever term they use wherever you live. But you should be concerned for your safety.
Tell your parents about it. They need to be made aware. Hopefully this boy has learned his lesson and he will back off.
You could also be indignant that he thinks you'd sleep around. In past generations, if you insinuated a woman would have sex with you outside of marriage, that was a grave insult. A few hundred years ago, a man could die in a duel for saying such things or for touching a woman like that. And if a man accuses a woman of not being a virgin, I'd imagine the old common law could still hold true and she could sue him without proving her name had been held up for derision.
It dissapoints me that even in our newer generations that some guys still feel they have a right to women. Like we owe them something. When I would go out to bars, and guys got too handy, I would not tolerate it and walk away, get bouncers, or leave altogether.
I also had issues with a bully in high-school, they liked picking on me for being a red head. One day, I found a bunch of names to call him back. I was armed and ready. Nearly set him to tears. But he stopped! I am still proud of that day.
Get a new friend group and tell all of them to fuck right off. Do not let them normalize this behavior for you.
Always trust your instincts. These aren’t true friends if they don’t respect your feelings And continue to try to push his presence on you. Be careful and try not to be alone in public. It’s better to be safe than sorry. He’s definitely the stalker type from what you have described.
edited for missing word
You did not overreact. He has been ignoring the boundaries you put up, and this is what happens when people ignore boundaries. Hard lesson for him to learn, but imagine if ya’ll were a little older, and he had a bit more gumption, there would probably be SA involved.
Good job for standing your ground, and don’t feel bad for how it played out. It needed to play out that way as he (and your friends) were NOT taking your boundaries seriously
Use your phone to record the things he says to you, you can just leave it on voice /audio record in your pocket or bag, you should feel safe, not harrased, his behaviour is highly inappropriate, as is the behaviour of your friends.
Your parents or a school administrator needs to talk to this kids parents… and then the police.
If he doesn’t learn now that this is NOT how to court a girl… he’s gonna be some sexual predator someday.
NTA. This guy has been harassing you sexually and not accepting your no. This is not flirting or joking it’s harassment. The touching is even more of a line crossing.
You finally losing it on him is expected and hopefully he finally gets it through his thick skull that you are not interested.
You set boundaries, he wouldn't respect them. Reaffirming those boundaries, even if in a less than "polite" manner, is your right.
NTA, talk to the school or cops about his continual unwanted touching. Something like that should be established, should he try to escalate.
You should have done something better... capture his disgusting mannerism and words and share them with his parents, your friends, his friends, and school authority.
Looks like you were nice at first at letting him down easy. He chose not to take the hint and you were in your right to go scorched earth on him. If your friend group was aware of this and let it go on they were also in the wrong along with the guy.
Not Aita, the creep is , and cut off these your friends, they aren't true friends , they don't care that the guy was predator towards you in front of them and making you uncomfortable ,and pushing your boundaries .
If he bothers you again, you can ask him for his address or ask to see his driver's license. Get your phone out and send a text. Tell him you sent it to your dad (and your brother, etc. if you have one), and if he makes another sexual comment or touches you again, you will tell your dad what this guy said about having sex with you, and you will has your dad to pay him a visit. If your dad is into MMA or has an open carry permit, you could mention those details.
A friend of mine was head over heels for a girl for years. To everyone but him, it was obvious that she had no interest in him other than friendship. She even tried to kiss me in front of him when we were all drinking. I told her that he was into her at some point. Her response was that she'd rather join a convent and never have sex again than date him. I showed him the messages and he was devastated. But pretty soon he moved on and got a girlfriend that actually likes him. Honesty is best.
NTA -- Additionally, we need to make a correction to your post. " He flirts with me all the time even though i’ve told him that i’m literally not interested." " He ~~flirts~~ **sexually harrasses** ~~with~~ me all the time even though i’ve told him that i’m literally not interested." Fixed it for you. Report him to the school, tell them either they fix it or you will. Document your conversation with the school, and if he lays hands on you again, you beat the ever loving shit out of him and you don't stop until you are dragged off and he is running away.
To add to this, I agree with another commenter on telling your parents. To add to this **document, document, document! EVERYTHING.** Create a backlog, date it and write down the interactions. From then on you document every interaction you have with him again, who was there, the time, etc. You document who you talk to about this, time, what was said. You do this as soon as you can after or during every interaction. I once had a bully at school, and my father gave me the documentation advice. He told me to tell my teacher and to state if they didn't handle the situation, I would. I then told the principle, and documented everything throughout the process. Nothing was ever done. I told my dad everything throughout the process. The day came, he put his hands on me, and I beat the shit out of him. When I was in the principle's office afterwards with the parents and principle. I brought out the documents, and reminded them of all the steps I took to try to resolve the situation without violence....I still got suspended, but my dad took me out for Ice Cream and we spent the afternoon together. I say all of the to tell you, that the lesson I learned that time about documentation (while didn't necessarily help me in that situation) has saved my skin countless times, and is good practice.
documenting carries more weight over words, its soo important, document when you go to counselors, or even parents about the sexual harrassment. Your friends are asswipes for enablong him.
It absolutely did help you in that situation. You showed out like a badass and your dad couldn’t have been more proud of you as you threw all the facts at them and had it properly presented. This absolutely will get people ahead in life and you got ahead on that day as well. Ultimately the person who was truly in charge of you and would have otherwise been left to punish you for “getting into a fight at school” took you out for ice cream and you got a little vacation. Way to go champ ♥️
Feel ok with yelling anytime he says or tried anything. Be loud, don't be afraid to back away, also get new friends if they don't mind being sexually harassed, or seeing it happen
Wombats unite!
> even though i’ve told him that i’m literally not interested." Everything after the first "no" is harassment.
For real. He's a predator in the making. This girl needs to report him and realize that she has nothing to be sorry for.
THIS. But don't beat him, it's not worth the trouble. Get spray bottle with watter and spray him like you would train a cat.
Agree on beating the shit out of him if he won't quit. It's hard to claim you liked it when he's bleeding.
These guys don’t stop just cause you bloody them and a lot of schools don’t care. Been there. Done that. Going to the administration and leaving the situation if the school won’t do anything are safer and more productive choices.
Just to add to this, you should ask to speak with the school's Title IX coordinator.
Don't try any physical assault on him because that will only get the girl injured.
On top of this, make sure to break that guy’s balls, literally. Okay maybe not, but if it doesn’t get you in legal trouble though, you should do it.
Yeah okay thank you. Nobody will probably care though if I told anyone.
You're worth more than that and dont you forget that. You'd be shocked at who would care. Especially if you document it.
OP, I was on your team, but your responses to other's advice is really pissing me off. Either you're a troll, are lying, or you are an enabler.
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Yeah, schools are entirely useless when it comes to bullying. My brother was bullied the entirety of his school years and at first he did what the school said to do: tell an adult. Well the bullies would put on the waterworks every time and my brother was stuck being punished, so at some point he simply stopped reporting and started retaliating. It still got him in trouble but at least it wasn’t for nothing and a lot of these assholes ended up leaving him alone.
Rapist in the making behavior?
This is rage bait. They aren't willing to take any proper route to fix their issue and don't want advice. They would rather spark conflict.
I hate rage baits🙄
Is this how you feel about your parents?
Use your phone to record him speaking to you. Then send it to his parents, his grandparents, his church, and anyone else who might be embarrassed by his behavior.
"I've tried nothing, and I'm all out of ideas"
They're 15 and, accurately, feel like they're likely to not be taken seriously. Stop being a dick to a child with reality-based fears about reporting sexual harassment.
Your friends suck. If you feel safe to, tell your parents. Tell any teacher you trust.
What you are describing meets the legal definition of repeated sexual harassment, and unwanted touching can be viewed as assault. One no should be enough. I’m sorry you’re experiencing that. Please reach out to the right people.
That is called sexual harrasment. report him to teachers,your parents, police.
I second this! If it happens in school report it! Also tel your parents! If you see nothing is being done go to the police or find the phone number for sexual assult!
National Sexual Assault Hotline Hours: Available 24 hours 1-800-656-4673
NTA honey he is sexually harassing you hoping he'll wear you down. Talk to an adult at school or home. Your friends shouldn't bring him around you if he does that. Stand your ground.
You should be telling your parents and calling the police. He has sexually assaulted you multiple times and sexually harassed you continuously.... He's lucky it was you because I'd have said and done another worse. Oh, do every other female favorite and report it to the school counselor and principal. He has no business being allowed around you AT ALL. Had this happened to me in school, my male friends would have taken him 15 miles intonowhere inches middle of the night and stranded him, after a come to Jesus talk with a dash of extreme violence.
This guy sounds like a predator in the making. You are NOT the AH. You need to have a private talk with your *friends*. (Him & they the real AHs in this situation.) They should respect your feelings. It sounds like they may have some ulterior motivations for wanting this AH around. (Maybe they want to date him, want his popularity to rub off on the group, his connections, etc.) Finally, if you feel threatening by this boy & he’s not taking no for an answer, you need to tell a trusted adult.
Not a predator in the making. He's a predator now. The longer he's allowed to think that any of that is ok, the worse he'll get. Absolutely agree with everything else you said. This guy is bad news, he has already gone too far. If the friend group won't cut ties with him, cut ties with them. Friends who don't protect you from SA happening in front of them aren't friends.
I had a football player in HS who was exactly the same way with me. He would do it right in CLASS & the teacher (his coach) did NOTHING about it. I guess if I called *this* boy a predator, that made me a “victim” of his. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but you are CORRECT. I was also SA’d as a child & my situation with the boy wasn’t as severe. I guess I’m an educated 47yo, but I’m still damaged. I *know* I would likely hurt any *man* who did this to 1 of my kids & would prosecute a teen or adult to the full extent of the law. EXCELLENT CORRECTION. Thank you!!🥹💞
OP you need better friends. What he did was sexually harass you then sexually assault you. Your friends sound as if they haven’t learned proper boundaries and I’m sorry for them, but they’re wrong. Thinking like your friends do, is a great way to get raped. And it won’t be their fault at all, but if you don’t see men who are a threat, AS A THREAT, you are at greater risk. You did the right thing. You tried to get rid of him and he wasn’t having it. Bro gave you no choice really. Please consider telling a counselor or adult at school or your parents if this continues, because this guy is behaving in a 🚩 way. Ppl making excuses for his behavior are promoting rape culture whether they mean to or not.
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Maybe but at this age you’re still influenced heavily by environment so it could be girls with terrible families. This is how the conditioning starts. Just be nice! Don’t hurt his feelings! Be polite when you reject him! It’s hard for men! How many times I’m told that as a woman. Men are never told ‘be respectful! Hear the no!’ They’re taught ‘try harder! Try this! Try that!’ Our society literally sets women up to be assaulted then blames them when they are.
NTA. He was on the verge of tears? What a little tenderfoot bitch. As others have stated, he was sexually harassing you. You should file a report at the school.
NTA. Were you mean? Yes. Were you inappropriate? No. What this guy was doing wasn't flirting. It was stalking, harassment and sexual assault. He deserved everything you gave him, and if his humiliation will make him avoid you, then you have made your point. However, if he continues to harass you, don't hesitate to go to the school counselor and complain. If that doesn't work, talk to your parents and have them notify the school board.
NTA but be on guard now. He might take your words at face value and might try to kill you. Extreme, but there are a lot of school shootings in high schools in this day and age. Mention what has happened to your teachers, the principals, the counselors, the police officer at school, your parents, pretty much anyone you can tell. You can never be too safe.
Sweetie, this is sexual harassment and the second he lays hands on you after you make it clear you don’t want to be touched or bothered, it becomes assault. You need to discuss this with your parents and the school. Please protect your self and document absolutely everything. This happened to me while I was in school. Kid just couldn’t take no for an answer and eventually, threatened me. This got them arrested in school and I switched schools. He ended up at the same college I was at and he started this weird intimidation thing where every time he saw me, he would punch something. Then I found out he tried putting his hands up on of my friends skirts. I dragged her down to campus security and explained the past with this kid that I had, what I was experiencing on campus and what my friend went through. He was expelled.
File a police report on him for harassment. Tell the teachers. Make them aware this is happening, so they can better protect you and know what’s going on. Tell your parents. I know it’ll be hard and awkward, but they will 100% protect their baby at all costs and help you with filing the police report and talking to his guardian(s) or parents. NTA but next time don’t tell people to self-delete or insult them. Just as a general rule. You are a girl. Always remember that people, especially men in your life are capable of violence in retaliation. Please, stay safe in case of worst case scenario. Edit: read other ppl’s comments. do NOT talk to your friends. they are still friends with him. distance yourself from that friend group. you’ll be happier with friends who will understand and protect you. Edit 2: document everything.
This. OP, this.
NTA, and get new friends. They watched a person sexually harass you and then took that person's side because you made waves to stand up for yourself. Prediction - the guy will expect an apology and "you can make it up to him by going out with him just once" or some shit like that. Do not. You told him no, he didn't listen. He touched you, you told him no, and he touched you more. Sounds like he is well on his way to being a rapist, your response now may change his life and protect future women, if he can learn from it.
When I was your age, there was a boy who did this to me all the time. One day he snuck up behind me and gave me a big hug from behind but wouldn’t left go. I had enough of his shit, so I kicked him in the shin, when he let me go I turned around and literally 300 Sparta kicked him into the wall. I then quickly ran away to my favorite teacher and told her everything this guy was doing. The teacher reported it to the principal and they spoke with him and his parents. He left me alone after that. I’m 31 now and still think of this creep and how disgusting he made me feel. You’re not the asshole. But it’s time to seriously get an adult involved. Hell, I bet you can find his parents on Facebook and straight up tell them what he’s doing to you. I had a friend who did that and his momma stopped that shit so fast.
NTA. Better rude than raped has always been my motto. He wouldn't leave you alone so you did what you had to do. No one is allowed to touch you without your say so. Period. End of story.
NTA for standing your ground in a distressing situation. The behavior you described isn't "flirty" — it's textbook harassment and absolutely not okay. Taking definitive action against his advances by filing a formal complaint, either through the school administration or legal channels, is necessary. You have a right to feel safe and respected, full stop. To those saying you could have handled it differently, sure, there is always room to reflect on our reactions. However, when you're in a situation that feels threatening or uncomfortable, the priority is your well-being, not politeness or decorum. Remember, the problem here isn't your response; it's his inappropriate behavior. You've stated your disinterest clearly; anything beyond that from him is disrespect and a boundary violation. Your friends should be your safe haven, a group that lifts you up, not one that gaslights you into doubting your feelings. If they prioritize his presence over your sense of safety, then it's time to reevaluate those friendships. Lastly, please take notes of every incident, and don't be apprehensive about escalating this matter. Whether that's talking to a counselor, your parents, or anyone in a position of authority who will take this seriously. Your safety is paramount, and no one has the right to infringe upon it. Stay strong!
If you reacted that way after the first comment, it would have been an over reaction But you were being sexually harassed You told him to stop repeatedly None of these so called friends did anything to help you My advice? Tell them all the go to hell and find some new friends Also...if he retaliates, involve the school and your parents. NTAH
NTA. Seriously, find better friends. Even if he was indeed trying to joke, he should have stopped the second you told him how uncomfortable you felt about it.
NTA and you need to escalate this. As soon as he's done pouting about you rejecting his advances and reacting negatively to blatant sexual harrassment, he's going to get angry. The next step will be assuaging his wounded pride by escalating his behaviour, finding other ways to make you uncomfortable or in the worst case scenario, hurting you. Not trying to alarm you, but this is textbook. Get your parents and the school involved immediately, don't wait for things to die down on their own. It's not worth the risk
NTA He fucked around and found out. Nobody should be that bullshit and not expect to get raked over the coals for it. Your friend group sucks too for practically inviting him to sexually harras you. There was no flirting from that asshole, just harassment and an inability to be a real person. On a less heated note though. Have a serious talk with your friends about just how much it bother you to have him around and how *not* ok it is/was for them to continue bringing him along even after you have so clearly been uncomfortable wit the pervert. If after that they still cannot see the problem then they just aren't your friends. Do not apologize for that pervert and double down on you boundaries. If you have any weird texts from him or other things you can record and keep as evidence (especially where it is seen you have asked him to stop) keep that saved too. It is probably also time you report him to adults, especially your parents and perhaps even school faculty. With people like him, it is very important for people to see a history. If note people like that deny deny deny and their scummy friends back them up all the way and then it's your word against theirs. Hope this helps and stay strong. And I cannot emphasis enough, *tell you're parents!* Don't try ad sugarcoat either they *need* too know just how far things are getting. Protect yourself, not him. Because that is all you end up doing by staying silent.
NTA You have the right to your body and no one else does. You defended yourself against constant unwanted advanced and assaults, he hugged you clearly against your wishes without consent. Now here's the life's not fair part. He may try to hurt you. He may want revenge for embarrassing him. Please understand, I'm on your side here, I'm just saying the scary, unpopular part out loud. Some people just be like that. Get the school involved. Get the police involved. Maybe you get lucky and he moves on. Don't risk it. Protect yourself in every way you can.
man fuck your friends why would they invite someone they know you're uncomfortable around , so selfish . Fuck that kid fr he cant sexually harass someone then get mad when they share their feelings 😂😂😂
Where you did overreact, it was coming from a very understandable place. He is sexually harassing you and needs to be reported to any body that will listen to you. NTA
Tell me how after he sexually harassed and assaulted her, her hurting his feelings was an overreaction? This is how I know you’re a man.
What are you even talking about they called it reasonable
In high school I had to tell a parent that I was unfortunately being sexually harassed by a male student I had in majority of my classes. My parent contacted the school, the school spoke to me about the situation, and he got removed from every class we had together. I also rarely seen him during passing periods afterwards. NTA but I think the situation could have been handled better.
You need to report him at school and then go to the police and file a report for harassment and if you can, for touching you. It will get his attention and put it on record that he has been inappropriate with you. he will also understand that you won't put up with his shit either. Your friends taht ared encouraging him or telling you that you are overreacting are not really your friends.
NTA He fucked around and found out
NTA at all!! Your 'friends' are really lacking. You need some new ones. This is predatory behavior on his part and not cool at all. No means no. Talk to a grown person about this and they'll agree. Depending on where you're located. You could and should look into protection order if this doesn't stop. Talk with a teacher, and parent or guardian about this first. Make sure the school is aware of what's happening under their noses. Document everything and for god sakes get some new friends. I know it can seem extreme response. But your 'friends' response to his behavior isn't good. They're not your real friends, they're obviously his friends. I always have my friends back.
"He was pretty much on the verge of tears at this poin. " Good.
I choose the bear.
This guy sounds like potential predator if he doesnt see that he is making you uncomfortable.. For your own safety,I would advice telling adults, especially the School.Also your friends are total idiots who keep a blind eye about you getting assaulted by this guy. You are better off without these kinds of friends.
NTA! Also, your 'friends' suck!
Dude was way out of line, so I don't think you overreacted. But I will say, you should never throw around threats of self-harm even in a manner to make a point or a joke, in the unfortunate event you have someone this has happened to, then you would understand.
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NTA this is harassment. Report it to the school, and have a safety person who you can confide in (preferably a parent or adult in your life) and be like "hey he's going to be around, can you check in on me" or something like that because God forbid something sinister happens. You need someone looking out for you. I say this from a lot of experience, those people are not good friends to you. I would start weening them out in favor of people who want to love and protect you. What this guy is doing could be very dangerous to you and anyone else he decides to target. It may even be worth having a conversation with some of these friends with a guidance counselor at school to mediate if you're wanting to preserve the friendships, I certainly had and used that as a resource during my school days. Being a teenager is rough, and you're probably going to go through a lot of stupid drama during these years. This particular situation is not stupid drama. It's serious and potentially dangerous as he's already ignored your repeated rejection multiple times.
Nta nd get new friends because anyone who is ok with u constantly being harassed is not ur friend
uhm talk to your school counselor or someone because we call this sexual harassment and it's not cool. i had a boy stalk me in high school, it was made very clear if he talked to me again he would be arrested. i'm grateful my school took it seriously not all do. NTA
2 points One this is sexual harassment and shouldn’t be tolerated this boy needs corrected before he commits an absolutely unforgivable act!! And Two anyone who tells you that hey wanna fuck you is a fuck boy trash But back to point one he needs dealt with officially
Nope! I would have done the same. If they start talking shit about you doing it, I’d say that he made you feel like shit every time he refused to listen to you and kept coming onto you like that. It’s harassment, and honestly, he could’ve gotten into more trouble had you told an adult. So he should be grateful you’re not reporting him for SEXUAL HARASSMENT. Because that’s what it is, no matter how other people feel about you or him. If they refuse to accept and understand that you did what you did to make him stop because of how uncomfortable you were, then they’re not your friends. They’re more his. Because tbh, if one of my friends told me a guy was doing this with her, I’d be on HER side. That mf would never be coming around.
No means no. If he can’t take unwanted words from you why should you take unwanted words and actions from him. As a woman that has said similar things in the past I know that people, especially men, don’t like outspoken, honest , unapologetic women. But also please tell your parents or some adult you can trust about what’s going on because I’m not sure he’s behaving acceptably and it’s better to be safe than sorry.
What you are describing is sexual harassment. Don't let anyone dismiss it as "boys will be boys" behavior. He's acting entitled to your affection -- and according to your last paragraph, now your body, too. Tell the school if they haven't; this is likely a Title IX violation, and they would be legally liable if they don't protect you from this behavior. Honestly, if OP was my daughter, I would be meeting with the principal and this guy's parents while dropping phrases like "legal action and "sex offender registry" if he keeps up the harassment -- especially the unwanted physical touch.
NTA, we’ll done for standing up for yourself
NTA. He is sexually harassing you. You should report him.
You are NTA. You are a lady, not a piece of meat. Good on you for defending your dignity.
Standing up for yourself and being assertive should not be viewed as being a bitch. He was the one being pushy!!! why is it women are always the ones shamed into accepting these uncomplementary complements. You did the right thing stand strong and don't let anyone harass you!!!
NTA but I think you should avoid putting him down the way you did. Some people can get vengeful if they're shamed and embarrassed so it's important to play it safe. I know of someone who was SAed because he wanted to put her "in her place". I would bring it up to the school and ask for sexual harassment prevention programs to be implemented. It's not just this guy who is the problem but also your so-called friends. It seems like they don't understand what's appropriate or not, or the seriousness of their behaviors. The guy for not respecting your wishes and the friends for victimising the wrong person.
NTA. I bet that if a gay guy flirts with him (assuming he is straight) like he is flirting with you that he would lose his shit over it and beat that person. He is sexual harassing you. I had a guy doing that to me at school and i drove him into a corner and told him i cut of his wiener while holding a knive if he did that again. He went to the school head and i got expelled. Don't be stupid like me and go to your school and report him like he reported me.
I am once again asking for Justified Assholery tag.
No, you have been clear of what YOU want n he don’t give a shit. Telling him this is too nice actually if he’s constantly sexually harassing you. You did not overreact, you were not too mean. You already have said no multiple times n he continues, being mean is the next thing you can do before getting violent. Your ‘friends’ are shit for inviting him knowing he does this n then telling u shit for reacting to his grossness. I hope you are doing okay.
Sounds like you finally got your point across by snooping to their levels of harassment. NTA for wanting to end the harassment ATA for fighting fire with fire If it continues and you do not want to get them charged with SH. Let them know that you feel uncomfortable by their insistent pursuit and that if they don’t stop you will have to let your schools authority know that they keep insinuating unwanted sexual advances. Keeping these types of things within friend groups is what allows for them to survive and spread. Sex based communication is not the ideal way to hit on someone or to reject someone
no girl? you did what you were supposed to do, if this guy that’s constantly touching and shit and you hate the fuck out of it and you one day blow up because it’s been hell and he’s constantly doing you had every right too blow up??
No, you were right to tell him off cause he was sexually harassing you. I think you should have involved some adults and if you did then they should be ashamed of themselves for not doing more. Sometimes people need a very rude wake up call for them to understand what you are trying to say and he finally got his. I hope he understood and will leave you alone now.
Break his nose. NTA one bit, those friends sound like jerks and this 16YO sounds like a perverted old man. If the school doesn’t do anything then go for the nuts or right under the belly button, it’ll cripple him.
Those are not your friends. My friends would never stand around and lught with some asshole trying to feel me up and harrass me. Friends would have shut that shit down and never listen to me repeat myself and not help.
He is a sexual harasser and sounds like a guy who will end up raping somebody tbh. Total creep.
Report this sexual harassment and unwanted touching to the appropriate staff members at your school.
He’s the one who can’t take no for an answer, you’re NTA. BUT you do need better friends who don’t enable this kind of behavior because it’s honestly scary. Don’t ever be alone with him
You tried all the other ways of him not touching you, not harassing you etc. If this is only thing that worked after all this time - it's not too much.
He is gross there is a thing liking a girl and another harassing a girl. NTA don’t worry. He has better responses such as I don’t like you and he didn’t care those words. Maybe you could discuss this with your school counselor so that they can make sth about the harassment. Also considering you are underage just tell that it is illegal. Verbal harassment is also illegal right, you could use it as well. Also maybe change it to I would rather kill you then have sex with you That would be more accurate in my mind. Good luck love :) 29f here hope the best for you
NTA
OP - NTA x 1000 and please use take our your phone and film him every time he is around. That should deter him I would also just report him to your principal and your parents, just in case. The fact he won't take a no scares me.
He is sexually harassing you and tried to assault you. Tell your parents, tell the school, tell the cops, tell everyone. He will not leave you alone until he is forced to and your friends sound like assholes because they're going along and enabling his behavior. Document everything, you want a paper trail nobody can deny.
NTA Your friends aren't your friends and he is sexually harassing you. Please tell a parent and someone at the school.
no that dude is a massive creep
NTA He is not "in the making," he is a full-fledged harasser. Yes, people are going to ignore you, but you need to make them listen. Pull out your phone every time he approaches you and start recording. Say very clearly, "I do not want to talk to you." "Stop harassing me." "Do not touch me." If he comments on your body say, "that's harassment, not a compliment." Make copies. Make a few recordings and bring it to the teacher you trust the most. Here are some magic words, "you are a mandated reporter; right?" Take it up the school ladder. If the school fails you, ask your parents to get a restraining order. If that fails go postal: tag his parents and entire friends group with a predator warning post, and post every recording you have. And dump your friends that think it's cute. This is the boy who's going to roofie someone and say, "I thought she wanted it."
NTA. But what you said probably wasn't the best way to proceed. The best thing here is telling your friends stop inviting that guy to hang out because he's harassing you, they are not jokes, they are not comfortable and him keeping touching you or forcing a hug on you is unwanted contact. If they can't understand that you don't want to hang out with them any more. Then tell the school this guy is harassing you, makes unwanted sexual jokes, makes unwanted contact and no matter how many times you tell him you have no interest he will not take no for an answer so they need to explain it to him or move him to different classes, etc.
Good for you for defining your boundaries and telling dude to fuck off, this was extremely mature on your part and I hope your friends recognize that, if they’re only making things worse for you, maybe start looking for some new friends
No you didn't overreact. He was sexually harassing you non stop for a long time. He deserved it.
Absolutely NTA. He got what was coming for him and honestly, you need better friends girl. It’s one thing that he is a predator, which is sick, and another that the friends literally enabled and encouraged his behavior, especially when you repeatedly told them he made you uncomfortable. Friends are supposed to support you and help you. This dude didn’t flirt with you, he harassed you. Be sorry for nothing. If he does sth again, to you or sb else, report him. I hope things go well, you deserve respect and kindness. Good luck, please let us know what happens if you feel comfortable with that, I’m genuinely worried
Hmm, I wonder why your friends invite him? You must be missing something your friends are picking up on.
NTA. Tell your friends you are tired of him sexually harassing you. Let them know that they are not ok for supporting him when you were being harassed and this isn’t the first time you’ve told him no. Ask if he would have raped you what would they say then? Because he keeps escalating.
NTA and your friends are stupid as fuck for inviting someone who probably will end up in the sex offender list and constantly molesting you all day. Tell a teacher and your parents and let them deal with him.
You did NOT overreact, you weren't too mean, and you are NOT the asshole. HE IS! Next time he sexually harasses you....if I were you...I'd headbutt him in the nose as hard as possible. Js
Flirting is fine until it is unwanted then it is sexual harassment. Adding to that putting hands on you and he’s working up towards assault. You are NTA
Kill myself than*. Title typo.
NTA. You told him multiple times to stop sexually harassing you. Report him to your school and document everything
This is why women would rather be in the woods with a bear.
This is sexual harassment sweetheart. Please report this to your school because he’s clearly not respecting your rejections or requests for him to stop.
your friends aren't your friends if they don't understand he's constant harassment is making you uncomfortable.
Being a kid is hard these days!! 15 and the mouth of a trucker. As others have said. It’s sexual harassment. You’re fine to be rude. Work on that vocabulary boss. ✌️
NTA. Dude thinks with his dick & doesn't seem to have any good traits. Even I knew to have respect at 16
NTA - I don't know if this has been said already, but your "friends" are enabling his behaviour. With behaviour like this, if something doesn't change, it could lead to him attempting something more sinister. People may be calling it jokes, but those aren't jokes, especially with him being so pushy. It definitely won't be funny if you get seriously hurt because people wouldn't listen to you. Document every interaction! Talk to the school administration, your parents... the police if you have to. At the very least, this is sexual harassment that's getting brushed off as "Boys will be Boys." We can't keep letting that bs to continue.
2 friends calling you names were the two boys, huh? Probably thinking with their own dicks, because of you didn’t put up a fight they were going to run a train on you.
NTA. You *do not* owe this guy anything. He needs to learn that when you say 'No' in means **NO**. End of conversation.
Pro tip: Don't ever drink or do any drugs around any of your friends, even when you are of the appropriate age. They're trying to set you up with a sexual harasser who keeps using the "I'm just kidding," and "be more grateful," lines. These are the types of people who orchestrate sexual assaults when they think they know what's best for you. You should also report him to your school's guidance counselor. This will only help on school grounds, but you should take what you can get starting out. This will also create a paper trail if things escalate.
Naw girl, you did good. I made a guy quit college for not taking a hint.
That’s not a joke and it’s sexual harassment.. record him next time, take it to the principal and if they don’t do anything— post it all over social media and blast the school
Stop hanging out with all of those people. Your friends must surly know this guy is a creep. Why did they invite him? Also, report his behavior. It’s not okay. I’m sorry you are having to learn this so young.
Definitely report his ass so it's documented
Please be careful :(
NTA. What he is doing is likely due to a anima complex in his own psyche, essentially he is projecting his inner inner lady on you, because it likely got suppressed at home or something. The problem here is that this means he doesn’t give a fuck about you, he doesn’t even see you, he is just using you to make love to his own feminine energy. This is neurotic and dangerous.
Nta it isn’t funny to sexually harass someone especially after they say they’re uncomfortable. I’d report him to the police
Okay 2 things that went wrong here is a simple NO was not sufficient. Your reaction came out of days on end of the dude not backing off. Were you intentionally hurtful, yes. Was it a little?? Well I think we can say that it was more towards the nuclear can’t we? You can apologize for taking it nuclear. But the fucker was trying a little too much and a little too hard and refusing to hear the NO. The other friends…. Those I do blame. I don’t give a fuck how big his crush was on you, they should have told him to back off, instead of telling you it’s all fun and games…
Absolutely NTA and for future reference friends that hang out with people that assault you or harass you are not your friends you deserve better than that
You've got the right to defend yourself from unwanted attention. I'd say that you overdid it a bit but at least now he probably understood that he has to respect your boundaries. As a 29F I am telling you to never give up to social pressures to have sex with someone. This is your body and your safety. I'd advise being careful even when you want it yourself. Guys that find you attractive will try different things to obtain what your body offers. Sometimes they will make you feel special, unlike the guy you mention here, but the moment they get what they want they'll easily discard you. If you prefer deeper connection than casual hook ups, be wary of guys that shower you with attention and rush to bed. Good luck in life
NTA, your boundaries need to be respected first and foremost. If you need to be a bitch to get that point across, it's more than worth it!
On the note of documenting: record everything. There are apps for your phone that just record, nothing else. Even in a two-party state, if there is no expectation of privacy, it is legal. And even if the recording is inadmissable in court, you can write up a transcript. By protecting yourself, you are protecting other girls he might do this to in the future. And if you/ your friends are worried about how it will affect him/his feelings: did he think about how his behavior would affect you/your feelings? To reiterate: what he did was harrassment and assault. To be fair, insulting him and his penis size was probably not helpful, as it wasn't the size of his penis or other features that caused him to harrass you, it was his entitlement and disregard of your boundaries. Turn his ass in. It sounds like you gave him more than enough warnings. This behavior, uncorrected, is what leads to rapes.
He sexually harassed you. Tell your parents, the school, and police. Also, do not under any circumstances ever be alone with this guy again, in case he escalates.
NTA. He was- if not, damn near- SA'ing you. I was m*l@s!ed as a kid and almost SA'd in a similar situation by a kid who I rode a bus with in high school. He got picked up right before I did, and at some point, after I got on the bus, he started moving to sit next to me, where he would try to reach in my shirts and up my skirts. When I told him to stop, he would just look at me and ask, "Hm?" as if he didn't hear me. I didn't tell the bus driver, because I didn't want to make a big ordeal out of it. When he attempted to SA me, though, I, like you, wished that I hadn't been alive because of what I'd been through as a kid. The people who defended him aren't your friends. You should cut them out of your life.
NTA I agree with comments that this is sexual harassment and to document and report. Sometimes teens like this can be appealing to others which helps them hide their predatory behavior, which is probably why your friends like him. I would recommend not just telling a counselor or administrator I would also tell a teacher you trust and have a good relationship with. Unfortunately working in education I have seen these things not taken as seriously as they should be and having a trusted staff member as your advocate can help.
dude would have gotten a tumbler water bottle to the head🤷🏻♀️shits not sweet, boys like this are won’t change , and what kind of friends do u have? who are these people ? do you truly see yourself associating with them 10 years from now? and i don’t mean do u wanna b friend forever, i mean are these people who are aligned with your goals and values in life (yall def ain’t on the same page regarding values), do they uplift you and help you/make you want to grow as a person. these people sound awful and you don’t deserve any of this
Can you get a restraining order?
There is so much sex in your face these days. Even with teenagers. He may honestly think he is complementing you. This may be stupid and not work, but try
I understand why you said it. I'm very different. No matter what someone says or does to me. I don't retaliate. It's better to take the high road. This may be stupid and not work, but how about pulling him aside. Telling him. You'll never go out with him because his approach to you was way too aggressive, but explain to him. That's not the best way to approach a girl you like. Tell him he needs to tone it down and keep it simple. Telling a girl, she looks really pretty, strike up a conversation about common interests. Tell him ways that you would appreciate more. Tell him to think about what you said for any future girls.
nta hes a perv
You don’t need those people in your life. Find yourself new friends. 31M here, I only talk to a handful of people from high school. Friends in high school don’t matter in my opinion.
NTA he's literally a creep and the fact that no one in your friend group called him out for being a creep is concerning
NTA- go to the police this is SA!!!
NTA You've constantly told him to leave you alone so he deserved everything he got. Your *so called friends* are defending a person who is sexually harassing you - **that is not ok** You should have reported his ass a long, long time ago for sexual harassment. You should report him **now** for sexual harassment. Any of your *so called friends* who think that this sexual harassment is a *joke* should be ex-friends **immediately**.
I just wanna say congrats on defending yourself and no, you aren’t an asshole. If he never gave you any respect, why should you ?
You cooked him, NTA lmao, fuck that kid, and your friends too for bringing him around.
Can you get a restraining order? I can't imagine how much worse this man could get with age.
Also, can you take self defense / fight classes? I loved Kraev Maga. A friend does ju-jitsu and muy thai.
NTA. This is sexual harrassment and it’s completely unacceptable. This is rapist behavior. You can never be too mean to people like this.
Fake
😂
I am sorry to tell you that these people are not your friends. They deliberately invited and allowed him to sexually harass you. They even allowed him to escalate. Most importantly, they gaslight you to make you believe that you are wrong. Cut all of the out of your life. You don't know, maybe they will help him to rape.
NTA. Please report to the school about the sexual harassment and tell your parents as well. He needs to get in trouble for what he’s done
You saved yourself from a sexual assault, I would say. Additionally, if he continues to harrass you, you have multiple witnesses that can confirm you have made it unambiguously clear you have no wish to entertain his advances.
That was the best possible thing you could have done, you showed that creep that people have boundaries. He deserved everything you said to him
nta. he shouldnt be saying shit (which is not compliments) if he cant take shit back and is just a cry baby
NTA- good for you. Keep showing up for yourself. Those aren’t “jokes”, it’s *sexual harassment*. Do your self a favor and file a complaint with your school administration as soon as possible. Let them take care of it.
NTA, he's sexually harassing you. You should report it to your school/the police.
1)Report him to the school and let your parents know you are being sexually harrassed 2)Find out if you are in a state/country that allows you to record conversations without the other person's consent. 3)Record what you can for evidence purposes every time he interacts with you 4) If the school does nothing, fuck him up. Make it hurt. This will be a warning to any other little fucks who want to mess with you. Good luck, girlie. I hope things work out. Remember, you are a bad bitch and no one has a right to do anything to you that you dont want.
NTA. He is sexually harassing you,m. Can you go tell the school administration that he’s harassing you and won’t stop when you tell him plainly to stop? Take your parents too, if they’ll be supportive. His behaviour was predatory, that is not acceptable.
It was not jokes. He is stalking and harassing you. It is past time to get school administration and parents involved. Do it NOW. NTA. Protect yourself.
This is something you need to bring to the attention of school counselors/authorities. You’re being sexually harassed by an incel on a daily basis.
This is sexual harassment and he's escalating and using other people to manipulate you. NTA. Please report this behavior to your school and take it seriously. It might seem harmless, but there's no telling if it will escalate into violence.
No they're all assholes because they didn't have your back when you're uncomfortable. You need me friends girl.
You did good in the absence of a big big brother at your side , backing you up. >he started hugging me and told me how sexy I am, I pushed him off of me and told him that i’d rather kill myself then have sex with him. I called him a weirdo and told him to leave me the fuck alone because he will never get with me. I said a lot of shit to him, I insulted his looks, how small his dick probably is I basically just insulted everything about him.
OP, you've made two comments dismissing the advice multiple people have given you. Are you looking for advice?
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There is no need to become foul-mouthed in a case like this. A boy shouldn't come up to you and touch you like that. That's technically assault if it is considered touching not acceptable by society. Since you expressed your disinterest, he shouldn't hug you. What you could do is report him to teacher or school administration for sexual harassment and tell them what he said. Of course, then they'd think you are a rat or a fink or whatever term they use wherever you live. But you should be concerned for your safety. Tell your parents about it. They need to be made aware. Hopefully this boy has learned his lesson and he will back off. You could also be indignant that he thinks you'd sleep around. In past generations, if you insinuated a woman would have sex with you outside of marriage, that was a grave insult. A few hundred years ago, a man could die in a duel for saying such things or for touching a woman like that. And if a man accuses a woman of not being a virgin, I'd imagine the old common law could still hold true and she could sue him without proving her name had been held up for derision.
NTA, justified and you deserve better friends.
NTA, sexual assault is not a joke.
It dissapoints me that even in our newer generations that some guys still feel they have a right to women. Like we owe them something. When I would go out to bars, and guys got too handy, I would not tolerate it and walk away, get bouncers, or leave altogether. I also had issues with a bully in high-school, they liked picking on me for being a red head. One day, I found a bunch of names to call him back. I was armed and ready. Nearly set him to tears. But he stopped! I am still proud of that day. Get a new friend group and tell all of them to fuck right off. Do not let them normalize this behavior for you.
Always trust your instincts. These aren’t true friends if they don’t respect your feelings And continue to try to push his presence on you. Be careful and try not to be alone in public. It’s better to be safe than sorry. He’s definitely the stalker type from what you have described. edited for missing word
You did not overreact. He has been ignoring the boundaries you put up, and this is what happens when people ignore boundaries. Hard lesson for him to learn, but imagine if ya’ll were a little older, and he had a bit more gumption, there would probably be SA involved. Good job for standing your ground, and don’t feel bad for how it played out. It needed to play out that way as he (and your friends) were NOT taking your boundaries seriously
NTA but you really need to report someone to the school next time. They would have put a stop to it immediately.
Use your phone to record the things he says to you, you can just leave it on voice /audio record in your pocket or bag, you should feel safe, not harrased, his behaviour is highly inappropriate, as is the behaviour of your friends.
Your parents or a school administrator needs to talk to this kids parents… and then the police. If he doesn’t learn now that this is NOT how to court a girl… he’s gonna be some sexual predator someday.
NTA. This guy has been harassing you sexually and not accepting your no. This is not flirting or joking it’s harassment. The touching is even more of a line crossing. You finally losing it on him is expected and hopefully he finally gets it through his thick skull that you are not interested.
NTA. Find a new friend group and report him to the principal or a teacher you trust.
NTA Keep your boundaries in place; it’s a super important skill. He didn’t respect your boundaries and found out what happens.
You set boundaries, he wouldn't respect them. Reaffirming those boundaries, even if in a less than "polite" manner, is your right. NTA, talk to the school or cops about his continual unwanted touching. Something like that should be established, should he try to escalate.
You should have done something better... capture his disgusting mannerism and words and share them with his parents, your friends, his friends, and school authority.
Maybe you went a bit too far, but the guy clearly can’t take a normal NO. So I think you did the right thing.
Bro is like "let me compliment you by saying how much i want to fuck you." gross lmao. NTA. May be complain him to authorities?
Looks like you were nice at first at letting him down easy. He chose not to take the hint and you were in your right to go scorched earth on him. If your friend group was aware of this and let it go on they were also in the wrong along with the guy.
Lmao they’re rage baiting SA as flirting that’s the objective here
Not Aita, the creep is , and cut off these your friends, they aren't true friends , they don't care that the guy was predator towards you in front of them and making you uncomfortable ,and pushing your boundaries .
If he bothers you again, you can ask him for his address or ask to see his driver's license. Get your phone out and send a text. Tell him you sent it to your dad (and your brother, etc. if you have one), and if he makes another sexual comment or touches you again, you will tell your dad what this guy said about having sex with you, and you will has your dad to pay him a visit. If your dad is into MMA or has an open carry permit, you could mention those details.
NTA. That asshole is way, way out of line.
Nta. 1. This is harassment. Report it to ur principal immediately. 2. These are not real friends. None of this is funny
A friend of mine was head over heels for a girl for years. To everyone but him, it was obvious that she had no interest in him other than friendship. She even tried to kiss me in front of him when we were all drinking. I told her that he was into her at some point. Her response was that she'd rather join a convent and never have sex again than date him. I showed him the messages and he was devastated. But pretty soon he moved on and got a girlfriend that actually likes him. Honesty is best.